The Newsletter for the Center for Development and Learning

HOW CHILDREN LEARN

AND HOW PARENTS
CAN HELP
By Craig T. Ramey, Ph.D. and Sharon L. Ramey, Ph.D.

Ce n t e r f o r De v e l o p m e n t & Le a r n i n g

Editors note:
We are extremely grateful to the Rameys for giving us permission to reprint four chapters
from their book, Going To School. This newsletter is the first of a four-part series. Going to
School and its companion book, Right From Birth, are available in the A+ Web Store on the
CDL website at www.cdl.org.

July 2004
Vol. 9, No. 2

esponsive care for very young children sets the stage for learning. Such care does not produce a
self-centered or spoiled child. It teaches a child to trust, be curious, strive to learn new things,
and be skillful in social interaction. All of theses characteristics are essential to learning and
school success.
One principle has been consistently supported by research findings: The adult a child will
become is shaped by the totality of the childs experiences. It is the aggregate of everyday living that
profoundly shapes how children grow and learn. There is a great deal of scientific evidence that childrens
home environment, the quality of parenting, and preschool experiences contribute in important ways to
their emerging competencies in social, emotional, and academic development.

A PRIMER ON EARLY BRAIN DEVELOPMENT

One great contribution of scientific research in recent years has
been to show the power and growth of the brain in early
childhood. These findings have profoundly affected our
understanding of the impact of early care on childrens
growth, from language and social skills to cognitive and
emotional development.
Your child has been learning since before birth. A
child is born with an almost full complement of brain
cells - some 100 billion. However, these cells, called
neurons, are not fully connected or necessarily used at
birth. The main task of the brain in early childhood is for
these neurons to forge connections. By age three, the brain
has formed an estimated 1,000 trillion of these connections,
called synapses. An individual cell may be connected to as many
as 15,000 others.

Brain Development contd. on page 2.

CDLs Mission
To improve the life chances of all
children, especially those at high risk,
by increasing school success.

CDLs Goal
Activate and achieve sweeping systemic
change in the way children are taught.

CDLs Action Plan

Approach the problem of failing schools
and school failure from several strategic
directions simultaneously by bringing
together parents, teachers, principals,
university professors, judges, physicians
and researchers as a united force.

CDLs Core Belief

All children are born with an innate
desire to learn, all children can learn to
higher levels, and all children deserve
equal opportunities to a solid education.

CDLs Vision
The very special uniqueness of every
child will be identified, respected,
honored, and celebrated.

Call To Action

Only an informed public can come to the

table and make informed decisions that
lead to clear and focused actionaction
that will ensure a solid and equitable education for all children. When you have
finished reading this newsletter, please
share it with a teacher, a parent, another
professional who works with children, or
a community/business leader.
Join CDLs voice in activating positive
solutions for our nations children. Contact
us for more information about our programs
and/or how you can help at 208 South Tyler
Street, Covington, Louisiana 70433.
Covington (985) 893-7777
New Orleans (504) 897-2211
Fax (985) 893-5443
Email: [email protected]
PLAINTalk is published quarterly by the
Center for Development and Learning (CDL).
TM and All rights reserved.
Articles may be reprinted or photocopied for
educational purposes with permission and
with the following credit:
Reprinted with permission from PLAINTalk,
the newsletter of the Center for Development
and Learning, date/author.
Alice Thomas, editor
Debbi Smith, designer
Visit our website.: www.cdl.org

The Newsletter for the Center

for Development and Learning

Brain Development cont'd. from page 1.

This tremendous growth is fueled by the childs
experiences, heredity, and maturation. The amount of
positive stimulation a child receives is directly related to
the childs behavioral and brain development. This
positive stimulation includes responsive forms of play,
affection, discovery, and language interactions. In
situations where children are deprived of enough such
early learning opportunities, brain and behavioral
development slow or fail to progress in normal ways.
Exactly what types and how much early stimulation young
children need to promote optimal brain development
is a topic of vigorous scientific inquiry.
During the first 10 to 12 years of life, it is estimated
that approximately half the synapses formed in early
childhood will be shed or pruned. Most likely, the
synapses that are used repeatedly are strengthened and are more likely to endure.
Those used less often are more likely to be pruned or re-configured. By early
adolescence, the number of synapses will have declined to about half the number of
those in the three-year-olds brain. A great deal of research is underway to understand
these basic developmental processes and their practical significance.
What has been well documented for more than 30 years, however, is that the way
in which the adult brain functions can be profoundly affected by early experiences. A
lot of this research has focused on children from extremely deprived or enriched
environments. Therefore, less is known about variations within the so-called normal
range of life experiences.

Early Brain Wiring

Recent research confirms that brains get wired in different ways to achieve
positive ends. But a brain is not a living computer waiting for the software of
experience. Evidence indicates that brains are as unique in their appearance and their
functioning as everything else about us. There are many compensatory and probably
idiosyncratic processes at work in the early years that contribute to each childs brain
development.
What should parents do about brain development? Mostly they should do what
good parents have done for generations. Be sure your child is well cared for, well
nourished, rested, happy, engaged, and allowed to play and learn with all the delight
and energy of each stage of development.

The Many Ways of Learning:

How Young Childrens Brains
(and minds) Work
Early brain development produces a large, complex brain by the age of three. A
three-year-olds brain is estimated to be 90 percent of the adult brain in terms of
structure and function. Yet the brains development is far from complete. What
children learn and do continues to affect the brains function and refinement. Such
changes will continue throughout life into old age -something not fully appreciated
until recently. The primary basis for this refinement appears to be experience and
active use of the brain.
There are many different forms of learning. Learning includes a wide range of
human behavior characterized by the active process of acquiring new knowledge and
skills, as well as creating new connections among existing knowledge and skills.
Learning occurs in informal, everyday contexts as well as in structured learning
situations. It involves associations or relationships between and among elements.

Brain Development contd. on page 3.

Brain Development cont'd. from page 2.

These elements can include objects, representations of objects, actions, feelings, and
many abstract ideas and concepts. In the early years of life, most learning occurs in
the frequent transactions the child has with people and objects. Here are some
examples of different forms of learning that occur early in life:

Learning to ignore things

This is an important form of learning, called habituation, that occurs early in life.
It allows the child to tune out background sights and sounds and irrelevant stimuli,
such as the sound of the refrigerator making ice, or noise from a nearby playground.
Habituation is important in setting the stage for the infants ability to concentrate.
At first, habituation may be reflexive. Infants initially respond vigorously to
external events, such as sound, light, or touch. However, if a baby hears a bell ring
repeatedly, she will soon stop turning her eyes or head to look for the source of the
sound. This very early form of learning - making connections and adjusting ones
behavior to the external situation - is part of intelligence. An infants pattern of
habituation is one of many behaviors that are correlated with later intelligence. As far
as we know, this is not a form of learning that parents need to actively promote. Your
child will likely have many opportunities to tune out or ignore repeated,
inconsequential forms of stimulation.

Forming concepts
This type of learning also originates in infancy, and becomes increasingly
sophisticated and apparent during the school years. Concept formation is a type of
abstraction. In the early years, such abstraction is closely linked to experiences with
objects and events. As the child matures, the abstractions involve mental or physical
manipulations of signs, symbols, or classes of events and objects.
One of the best-studied examples of concept
learning involves object constancy - coming to
know that an object continues to exist when it is
out of sight. This discovery enables young children
to enjoy playing peekaboo and discovering a
hidden object. Object constancy includes
understanding that an object can be seen, heard,
or experienced in different ways. For example, an
object rotated through space looks different from
varying angles. Brain maturation and experience
contribute to learning different aspects of object
constancy.
As the child grows, more structured
experiences are the basis for concept formation.
Childrens toys and common household objects
can promote the acquisition of concepts. For
example, blocks, food, or clothing can be sorted by
shape, color, or size. Shape, color, and size are
abstract concepts that children typically begin to learn a lot about in the second and
third years of life. They learn and test increasingly sophisticated concepts about
properties of the physical world.
At the same time, children are learning concepts about intangibles, such as
emotional expression and self-regulation of behavior. In the second and third years of
life, children have quite well developed concepts about different emotions and what
causes or ends them. Much of their learning about emotions occurs through direct
experience and is assisted by parents attaching words to different feeling states and
behaviors that reflect emotions.
Learning to read, spell and write involves a great deal of concept formation.
These concepts include understanding that letters and letter combinations represent
sounds; letter combinations represent words that can be decoded (analyzed and

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Community
Advisory Council
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Professional
Advisory Board
Charles Achilles, Ed.D.
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Edward M. Hallowell, M.D.
G. Reid Lyon, Ph.D.
Bernice McCarthy, Ph.D.
Howard J. Osofsky, M.D., Ph.D.
Craig T. Ramey, Ph.D.
Carol Rolheiser, Ph.D.
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Honorary
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& CEO
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Brain Development contd. on page 4.

The Newsletter for the Center
for Development and Learning

Brain Development cont'd. from page 3.

sounded-out); and words can be understood in context, such as
getting hints from the words that come before and after, the
pictures on the page, and the flow of the story.

Learning Cause-and-Effect
Relationships
This form of learning also begins early and continues
throughout life. It is based on childrens observations and
experiments with things and people. Parents can help set the
stage, although this is not necessary for much of the early
cause-and-effect learning. Children naturally seek to make
sense of their experiences and to find order and reliable
patterns in what happens around them. It also is important for
children to learn which of their behaviors produce desirable
effects, and to eliminate those that do not. This cause-andeffect learning is the foundation for much of what happens in
the first years of school. Teachers set up many situations where
children can manipulate objects, solve problems, and observe
orderly patterns and variations.
As children get older, cause-and-effect relationships
contribute to their understanding of probability - that some
things are more or less likely to occur under certain situations.
This may be why very young children prefer a clear yes or
no to maybe. By eight years of age, however, most children
would prefer a maybe to a no concerning something they
want.
Scientists divide learning into different categories. The
table below provides a partial list of these types of learning.
Your child is engaged in almost all of these forms of learning, at
one level or another, every day. What matters is that you
encourage your childs natural curiosity in many ways. Even
before children speak, parents can promote learning through
example, play, reading, talking, and reinforcing positive
behavior.

Types of Learning
Figuring out action-reaction and cause-and-effect
relationships
Learning through observation
Copying others to learn new ways to do things
Tuning out whats irrelevant to focus on whats
important
Distinguishing whats different and whats the same
Classical conditioning, especially involving reflexes in
early infancy (like Pavlovs dog)
Trial and error (from informal to highly systematic
experimentation)
Conceptualizing ideas and themes
Verbal learning involving words and gestures
Logical or deductive reasoning
These types of learning can occur in and be applied to
many areas, including creative arts, athletics, academics, social
relationships, mechanics, imaginative or fantasy play, and other
forms of adaptive behavior.

Seven Essentials to
Promote Childrens
Learning
Over a decade ago we began to look for a way to translate
the wonderful and exciting findings about brain growth and
child development into practical advice for parents. We felt the
research was too valuable to be confined to the pages of
academic journals, and it had to be shared with those who
could benefit most - parents and children. And so our list of
Seven Essentials was born - a synthesis of findings from more
than a thousand research projects and scientific
presentations.

Editors Note:
As the Rameys have stated, these Seven Essentials
are based on more than 1,000 research findings.
Although the main focus of the Rameys is early
childhood, I urge you to consider these Seven
Essentials as guideposts for effective interaction with
your children from the time they are born until they
reach adulthood.
We have included in this newsletter The Seven
Essentials on a separate page, which we encourage
you to put on your refrigerator door as a constant
reminder of what you can do to help your child every
day.

Seven Essentials Proven

to Help Your Child Every
Day
Encourage exploration with all the senses, in familiar and
new places, with others and alone, safely and with joy.
Mentor in basic skills, showing the whats and whens, the
ins and outs, of how things and people work.
Celebrate development advances, for learning new skills,
little and big, and for becoming a unique individual.
Rehearse and extend new skills, showing your child how
to practice again and again, in the same and different ways,
with new people and new things.
Protect from neglect and inappropriate disapproval,
teasing, or punishment.
Communicate richly and responsibly with sounds, songs,
gestures, and words; bring your child into the wonderful world
of language and its many uses.
Guide and limit behavior to keep your child safe and to
teach whats acceptable and whats not - the rules of being a
cooperative, responsive, and caring person.
These Seven Essentials are based on studies about
childrens emerging intellectual and language competencies in
the first five years of life. Based on the evidence, we
recommend that every child have all Seven Essentials every day
to be engaged in active learning, to remain positive about the

Brain Development contd. on page 5.

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for Development and Learning

Brain Development cont'd. from page 4.

challenges of
learning, and to be
well prepared for
school. Children
who receive lots of
these Seven
Essentials through
their exchanges
with parents and
others show the
healthiest and best
development.
Think of these
essentials as daily
vitamins and
minerals for your
childs heart and
mind. They really
are worth
memorizing and
doing every day. Most are fun and easy to do anytime,
anywhere. A single activity can easily include several at once.
There are many ways to personalize them to reflect your
interests, your culture, and your values.
Your child will never outgrow the need for these essentials.
Just adapt them to meet your childs growing capabilities and
changing interests. Over time, these Seven Essentials will help
strengthen your childs development in every way.

1. Encourage Exploration.
You should actively encourage your childs curiosity and
investigation of the world. Help your child to seek new
experiences, new information, and new forms of stimulation. It
is not enough just to allow your child to explore.
For the three-year-old, parents can point out new things
when it is safe and profitable to check them out.
By age five or six, your childs curiosity will be more
selective and wider-ranging. You wont need to have your child
explore everything all the time. But you can point out
delightful or unexpected opportunities for learning. Share the
many ways that your child can explore - talking to experts,
going to the library, visiting museums, going on outings, paying
close attention to things in your house or yard, and conducting
experiments. From five to eight years of age, many children are
really impressed by what they can learn from such trial-anderror discovery.

2. Mentor in the Basics.

Mentoring for young children becomes increasingly direct
and systematic. Mentoring is a form of teaching with love and
appreciation for the individuality of the learner. From three to
eight years of age, children are like sponges. They love to learn
and share lots of facts and skills. They want to understand most
things that interest them. They will question parents and
others extensively. You may well need new books about topics
your child is eager to learn more about. But what, exactly, are

the important basics to teach your child during this period of

life?
For children to learn, parents do not necessarily need to
create formal lesson plans or purchase expensive learning
programs. Instead, you can be yourself and teach your child
what you know and what interests you in everyday interactions.
Such instruction and sharing are key components of mentoring.
Also, when you teach what you enjoy, you invariably convey
enthusiasm for learning and a love of knowledge a powerful
way to build your childs enthusiasm for learning later in
school.
Dr. Howard Gardner of Harvard University, a leading
theorist and researcher in childrens learning and intelligence,
strongly advocates that children be oriented to and
accomplished in the familiar three Rs reading, riting,
rithmetic. Another R that he and most early childhood
educators add is reasoning or higher-order thinking. Some add
a fifth R responsibility. We concur that all are important and
can readily be provided by parents in their mentoring.
Most teachers do not think that parents need to teach
reading in a formal sense before their child goes to school. Yet
parents may want to know how to mentor for reading skills.
Please note that there are stages in childrens reading. These
stages are not exact, and your child does not need to learn
these in a strict order. However, earlier skills are important for
learning the later ones.
If your
child is in a
good school, the
teacher will
likely give you
constructive
suggestions for
mentoring in
school-related
topics, including
the three Rs.
Remember also to mentor in social skills, and include reasoning
and responsibility. In all your mentoring, be loving, patient,
encouraging. Provide lots of examples for your child to follow
and learn from. Be sure you, too, are having fun.

Activities for mentoring children in reading,

writing, and spelling:
Sound out the different letters of the alphabet.
Say the name of a letter when you see the letter.
Make sounds and guess what letter they stand for.
Read single-syllable words, especially words you see often
in books, on signs, or on objects at home.
When reading point to words to show the direction of your
reading.
Try to match pictures and words.
Learn lots of nursery rhymes and rhyming songs.
Using easy-to-pronounce words, take turns thinking of
rhymes.

Brain Development contd. on page 6.

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Brain Development cont'd. from page 5.

Combine or blend letters into sounds, especially those that

create new and unexpected sounds. Youll probably enjoy
thinking of the many combined letter-sound combinations,
but you can also use a dictionarys pronunciation key and
guides for sound-spelling correspondence.
When your child is ready, try reading simple words in text,
starting
with books
your child
knows well
and loves.
Progress to
practicing
more
difficult
multisyllable
words. There are many excellent learn to read books that
are graded according to childrens ages that provide helpful
hints to parents to encourage childrens recognition of
words in context.
Play word detective games. Look for parts of words that give
clues to their sound or form words inside of other words.
Talk about words and what they are made of - letters, letter
combinations, syllables, vowels, and consonants. Discuss
prefixes and suffixes that give clues to the meaning of a
word. (But remember that some of these are advanced
concepts.)
Identify words (with the same or different spellings) that
sound the same but have different meanings, such as
weather and whether; theyre, there, and their; be and bee;
watch (as in watching a movie) and watch (that tells time).
Identify words that have the same spelling but can be
pronounced differently and then mean different things,
such as wind (that can howl), and wind (as in winding a
clock); read (in the present and past tenses); and lead (as a
horse) and lead (as in a pipe).
Think of a letter that sounds like a word, such as b and bee,
t and tee, l and elle.
At all stages of your childs development, expand your
childs vocabulary.
Talk about how language can serve different purposes
providing information and instruction, conveying feelings,
and being fun and interesting in its own right.
Help your child to follow increasingly complex directions.
Combine words into sentences aloud, or with printed
words once your child recognizes them.
Test your childs memory for details from a story, for
arrangement of events, and for clues that help predict the
ending. (You are likely to be impressed.)
Think of words that start with different letters. As your
childs vocabulary grows, try thinking of words that go from
a to z, especially in a category, such as foods, animals,
actions, or silly words.
Read increasingly longer, more complex stories. Be sure
your child continues to enjoy and follow them.

Identify the main ideas or messages from conversation,

stories, and books.

3. Celebrate Your Childs

Accomplishments.
From age three on, there will be many opportunities to
celebrate your childs remarkable advances. Every day your
child will learn or do things that warrant your attention and
praise. This will not make your child conceited or self-centered.
Instead, there is ample evidence that children learn more and
faster in positive circumstances. Research on brain chemistry
shows that children are unlikely to direct their attention fully
to the learning at hand when they are stressed, fearful, or
confused. But pleasurable sensations help children want more
of the events that produce these positive sensations.
Acknowledging childrens achievements helps them know that
you notice their success in learning, and increases their
enjoyment.
This does not call for
unlimited or non-specific
praise. Let your child know
that you notice and value
efforts to try new skills and
learn new things. Sometimes
your child may respond by
saying, Its not all that good,
when you praise a drawing or a
story. Or he may tell you, Its
really easy, after you have
shown how impressed you are
by some achievement. This
does not mean that your
positive words are not
appreciated. Rather, your child
is letting you know that he
understands that some
achievements require more or less effort. He may have his own
standards of accomplishment and be striving to do better.
Not every advance means your child will show the same
maturity and intelligence at all times. She may show
remarkable sensitivity to others one day, but not the next. Your
child may be eager to read a challenging book aloud to you
every day for a week and then refuse to read a book of
comparable difficulty the next week, announcing, This is too
hard.
This pattern of a step forward and then a pause, or step
back is normal. For example, children who learn to add ed
to verbs to create the past tense often overuse their new skill,
making mistakes in speech that were formerly correct. This is
temporary and does not require vigorous intervention.
Childrens self-correcting, coupled with consistent (but not
insistent) encouragement will do wonders.

Brain Development contd. on page 7.

The Newsletter for the Center
for Development and Learning

Brain Development cont'd. from page 6.

4. Rehearse and Extend

New Skills.
The early years in school are filled with the need to
practice. Yet some of the best ways to practice arent repetitive,
forced, or dull. Children love to see how a new skill can be
used in different ways. Young children often love repetition of
favorite stories or songs. Once
again, brain chemistry is at work.
Certain pathways linking positive
emotional states and increasing
comfort with a repeated task or
experience are being activated and
strengthened. It also is likely that
new connections are being forged
and that your child may be
thinking in new ways about
something familiar or already
mastered. This happens often with
numbers. Children who can answer
correctly to simple addition or subtraction queries may
suddenly want to experiment on their own with new ways to
get the answer. They may be testing out new mental strategies
or ways in which physical props can be helpful to solve more
complicated problems.
Here are some suggestions for what parents can do with
their children to practice academic and social skills:
Ask them to show how they did something in class.
Encourage them to keep journals to write and draw in at
home, just like at school.
Have them find new words in a book that you can read
and practice together. Try remembering these new words
and using them in an invented sentence or story.
Teach children to call a friend or relative on the phone
and use appropriate greetings, self-identification, and polite
goodbyes.
Have them practice manners and thoughtful acts at home
and elsewhere. When your child begins to show empathy
or generosity, find ways to follow through and do this
again.
Help your child write thank-you notes, create original
artwork, and find other ways to let others know your child
appreciates them.
Try out new social lessons, such as smiles are catching or
the Golden Rule (Do unto others as you would have them
do unto you).
Help your child learn that some rules can be applied at the
wrong times or ill the wrong situations. Even if your fiveyear-old would love to have someone squirt him with a
water gun, he should not apply the Golden Rule and do it
to you without advance permission. Or your four-year-old
may really want you to sleep with all her favorite stuffed
animals and you may need to explain that not everyone
likes to fall asleep in exactly the same surroundings.

5. Protect From Neglect and

Inappropriate Disapproval,
Teasing, or Punishment.
During the three- to eight-year-old age period, children
will encounter more teasing and many more reprimands than in
their earlier years. This is because they are more self-directed,
and can understand and benefit from appropriate guidance and
constructive criticism (as detailed in Essential number 7 about
guiding and limiting behavior). But your child still should not
receive overly harsh punishment for things that are not
intentionally bad or harmful. Also, it is unreasonable to expect
perfection in everything your child does. Here are examples of
normal child behavior and appropriate responses:
Behavior: Your four-year-old is playing catch with you and runs
through a patch of flowers in her eagerness to catch the ball.
Several new buds are broken.
Appropriate response: Great catch, but oops, you went
into the flowers. Be careful and lets move away so this
does not happen again. When flowers are broken, they
cant be fixed.
Inappropriate response:
You killed those flowers.
Dont you ever look where
you are going? Whats wrong
with you? Thats the end of
our game of catch.
Behavior: Your six-year-old
lost his first tooth. He is
very embarrassed to go to
school because he thinks he
looks terrible and other
children will laugh at him.
That night, he begs to stay
home the next day.
Appropriate response: You
sympathize and say that you
felt just the same way (or
that someone else in the family did). You ask what ideas he
might have to look extra good even with his tooth missing.
You also say that he looks like some other children in his
class who lost teeth. Although you do the not agree to let
him stay home, you may plan a trip for an ice-cream cone
the next day or tell him that he may invite a friend over
for a favorite game. And the Tooth Fairy can pay a visit
and leave a note to mark the occasion.
Inappropriate response: You get angry that your child is
being so immature. You say, Well, if you think the other
children will laugh and make fun of you, Ill do it now so
youll get used to it! You tell him the Tooth Fairy will not
come at all because of his ridiculous feelings and behavior.
Behavior: Your second-grader is practicing spelling words. For
two nights in a row, she got all the words right and was very
cooperative. Tonight, she said, I know them all and I dont
want to practice. You insist it is good to practice and then she
misspells the first word on the list when she recites the letters.

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Brain Development cont'd. from page 7.

Appropriate response: You continue through the spelling
list and then ask her if she thinks she may have misspelled
any of the words. You then can correct the errors or say,
Boy, its lucky we are practicing. Even when you already
know a word, sometimes when you are in a hurry or upset,
you may not think and remember to be careful. Or you
may ask her to write down the words so she can compare
her written list to a master list. Thank her for practicing
even when she didnt feel like doing it.
Inappropriate response: You immediately shout, See, you
arent so smart and that serves you right for acting like a
know-it-all. You dont even know that easy word. We are
going to practice twice as long, and if you keep on making
mistakes, you may not get to play tomorrow.
Behavior: Your family is at the dinner table ready to celebrate
your birthday. Just as you start to eat, the phone rings. Your
child jumps up and runs to answer it, shouting, Maybe its
Grandma calling to wish me a happy birthday. In your house,
you have a rule that everyone asks to be excused and waits for
permission before leaving the table. Also, you usually let the
phone be answered automatically when you are eating, so that
your dinner together is not constantly interrupted.
Appropriate response: Because it is a special occasion, you
simply ignore the behavior, since your child usually follows
family rules. Or perhaps when your child returns to the
table, disappointed it was not Grandma, you say, Why
dont we follow our usual rules and not answer the phone
until after dinner? If Grandma leaves a message, well
return her call right away.
Inappropriate response: The minute your child returns,
you say, You disobeyed the rules about asking to be
excused, I want you to apologize. You will be punished and
you wont be allowed to talk to Grandma when she calls.

These examples have two things in common. First, all the

transgressions were relatively minor. Second, these behaviors
are typical for children of the three- to-eight-year-old age
period, especially when enthusiasm or fatigue can influence
their judgment. None reflects willful, disruptive, or thoughtless
behavior. Therefore, you should teach with this in mind. When
parents respond inappropriately to such normal types of
behavior, the toll on children can be great.
Some parents who treat their children harshly mistakenly
believe they are doing their child a service. We cannot imagine

that this could ever be true. Rather, they are actively teaching
their child to disregard the feelings of others, to ignore the big
picture, and that if children are not perfect, adults will get mad
at them.
Sadly, parents who ignore this Essential are often unaware
that they are hurting their child or responding excessively to
age-typical behavior. For
example, all children make
some messes in helping
prepare food, and when at the
table. Adults make the same
mistakes, but usually less
often or on a smaller scale
because we are bigger, more
coordinated, and more
practiced. Some children are
highly sensitive. Others seem
not to care when they are
teased or treated harshly for
minor transgressions. Do not
be fooled by appearances.
Many children learn to hide their feelings in the face of such
treatment, sometimes to avoid a double dose of teasing and
punishment.
This Essential extends to protecting your child from
bullying and rude or insensitive behavior from others, including
other children, friends, or relatives. Children typically tease
each other, but innocently and at a level that they can handle.
But when it gets out of hand or is the dominant form of
interaction between your child and someone else, you should
intervene. Whoever the consistent offender may be, you should
be sure that contact between your child and this person is
reduced or eliminated, at least for a while.
This Essential does not imply that children can never be
reprimanded or gently teased in supportive ways, or that
punishment can never be used.
But harsher parental behavior
should match the childs behavior.
Intentionally harmful, rude, or
defiant behavior warrants a
response - one that can teach your
child the importance of positive
behavior and the need to avoid
the negative. Save parental
guidance and limit-setting for
what really counts at each age. Be
consistent, clear, strong, and in
control when you respond to
inappropriate behavior.
Do not laugh about your child in front of him or others in
ways that you know will be hurtful. Do not embarrass your
child or tell stories about him that make him feel incompetent,
or self-conscious, or that belittle his feelings. Show your child
the same respect and thoughtfulness that you show to your
friends, and that you expect from your child.

Brain Development contd. on page 9.

The Newsletter for the Center
for Development and Learning

Brain Development cont'd. from page 8.

6. PROVIDE A RICH LANGUAGE

ENVIRONMENT EVERY DAY
FOR YOUR CHILD.
From age three on, and particularly during the first years of
elementary school, this is the most important Essential for your
childs school success. Your coaching and your use of language
are important in helping your child become more adept.
Right from birth, children start learning their native
language or languages. Infants discern the key features and many
uses of language long before they speak. In the second year of
life, when language growth is typically rapid, children show many
signs of recognizing that language is both powerful and delightful.
Language reflects thoughts and thoughts help language.
Language involves formal features, like vocabulary and
grammar, but there are lots of implicit rules about body
language and the ways that tone, volume, inflection, and
gestures can alter the meaning of the words. Language is also
the primary mode for teaching in our culture. Teachers in
elementary
school spend
more time on
the language
arts and on
enhancing
your childs
language than
on other areas
of
development.
Converse with your child. Use everyday exchanges as a
natural way to teach new words for feelings, objects, events,
places, time, and abstract ideas. Use books to help with
language. Talk about the books after you read them. Let your
child tell stories or read books, even before formal reading
skills appear. Do the same for writing. Even three-year-olds can
write, and they can interpret the squiggly lines or pictures
they draw to write down their story.
Remember that some topics and words are not appropriate
for your childs age and comprehension. Many topics covered
on the front page of newspapers and on the evening news may
be unsuitable for your childs ears and mind. Be cautious. Be
aware of how highly impressionable young children are.
Children will be introduced naturally, and hopefully gradually,
to the full range of human experiences and use of language, but
this should not all occur in the three- to eight-year-old period.
Beware that your child is likely to pick up some words that
you do not approve of. Remember that most young children
have no idea what those four-letter words mean. They just
know they are bad words. Also, children typically go through
stages of telling bathroom jokes and being interested in their
bodies and other childrens, too. Deal with this appropriately not excessively. Yes, you can shape your childs language and
indicate that certain words are off limits and forbidden in your
household. Should you use these forbidden words, expect your
child to notice and comment!

7. GUIDE AND LIMIT YOUR

CHILDS BEHAVIOR TO
PROMOTE POSITIVE BEHAVIOR
AND TO AVOID HARM.
This Essential is about socialization and behavior
modification, which are so important during the transition-toschool years. This is the time that your child will probably
learn more rules about social conduct than at any other time in
life. Children catch on quickly to many of these rules, but there
typically are a few stubborn areas that they dont grasp as
readily.
What areas need the most vigorous guidance? First,
anything involving your childs health and safety. These issues
must be addressed consistently and with appropriate
explanations so that your child learns about such things as
crossing streets, not running into traffic, not ingesting foreign
substances, etc.
Basic civility is another vital area. Children typically need
many prompts and reminders. They may go through periods of
shyness. Help your child to know why thoughtful behavior
matters. It will be very important for your childs acceptance
and ease in school.
It is extremely important that you teach
your child about physical play and
aggression. There are documented
differences in play and
aggression among children from
different cultures and social
classes. But your child must
understand the basics of
acceptable play in preparation
for school. Remember that
three-year-olds handle
frustration much differently
from, and with less selfcontrol than, a six-yearold. But even a threeyear-olds behavior can
be shaped in lots of
socially acceptable ways.
Do not try to teach that physical aggression, such as
hitting, kicking, and biting, is unacceptable by doing these
things to your child. This old-fashioned technique is not the
best. It just teaches that parents are bigger and stronger.
Instead, use immediate and harsh verbal reprimands. If
need be, physical restraint or removing your child from the
situation may be in order. For some behaviors it may be
effective to place your child in a time-out or other limited
situation for a specified time, and be sure that you have
explained clearly why the behavior is unacceptable and will not
be allowed again. If such behavior continues, you may choose
to end or deny enjoyable events, such as an outing, or playtime
with a friend. Privileges also can be taken away from older
children when they are mature enough to understand the
connection between their behavior and the punishment.

Brain Development contd. on page 10.

The Newsletter for the Center
for Development and Learning

Brain Development cont'd. from page 9.

Many important forms of socializing actively encourage
mature and thoughtful behavior. Your socialization should not
focus only on preventing or eliminating unacceptable behavior.
You can set a powerful example for your child by the way you
behave. Also, as your child matures, you can read and discuss
books about good behavior and the consequences of bad
behavior. Relate what you read to your own life and to your
childs actions and thoughts about these matters.

Playing and Learning

10

Play is an extremely important way that children learn.

Play provides natural, fun ways to explore and to have trialand-error experiences in a safe, enjoyable setting.
In fact, research shows that children learn best when they
are having fun. When an emotion is engaged, events and ideas
are committed to memory more strongly. Even as adults, we
recall more easily events in the past that are associated with
strong emotions, including those
that delighted (as well as
frightened) us. We also remember
more from the classes we enjoyed
than from those that didnt
interest us. This is why young
children learn more from
interesting and creative play than
from rote memory routines that are
the staple of many accelerated
learning programs.
Learning and memory are
inextricably linked to emotions. Brain chemicals, called
neurotransmitters, that affect and are affected by emotion can
help the brain to be more receptive to new information, and
better able to store and retrieve it. While negative emotions,
such as fear and anger, can reinforce learning, the most
beneficial learning occurs from lessons or experiences linked to
enjoyment and pleasure.

ACTIVE AND PASSIVE

LEARNINg
There is a great deal of scientific evidence about the
importance of childrens own actions in learning. When
children initiate activity or are actively engaged, they typically
learn more. A key form of such activity is called responsecontingent learning, in which a child learns that certain
actions or words produce predictable results. Another highly
effective form of learning is when parents teach about
something that has already captured their childs attention.
Parents should be aware that television, in addition to its
negative effects on childrens behavior, is generally ineffective
in teaching. This holds true even for so-called educational
television. Such programs may not be truly harmful. Others
may teach children some things, particularly when parents
reinforce what is taught in active ways that engage the child.

WHY CHILDREN ASK

WHY SO OFTEN
Childrens curiosity, inquisitiveness, and asking Why? are
universal. What is the role of these behaviors in development
and learning?
Without doubt, childrens queries are a genuine expression
of what is interesting or perplexing to them. Parents who
answer their childrens questions attentively and appropriately
teach much more than just the answer. They are teaching their
child that (1) asking questions is a good way to get
information, (2) adults can be counted on to provide
information, and (3) even trusted grownups dont know
everything, because they often say, I dont know, or Lets go
find out more about that. These are worthwhile lessons. And,
of course, children often get the responses they are hoping for.
It is easy to overlook that children come into the world
with little or perhaps no specific knowledge about how the
world works. While children can seem remarkably intelligent
and insightful, their reservoir of knowledge is limited. Children
often use words correctly long before they know what they
mean.
Your answers are a way to apply the Seven Essentials and a
great way to proceed on the path of lifelong learning. You will
undoubtedly enjoy how your childs comprehension of why
questions and answers changes with age.
As a caring parent, you will get tired. You cannot be
expected to answer all of your childs why questions.
Sometimes you wont know the answer, dont have the time to
answer, or may not want to answer. This is fine every now and
then. Each parent must find the right balance between being a
responsive parent-teacher
and meeting the demands of
everyday life.
Use your friends, your
family, and your social
support network. If your
child is very curious, enlist
others who know about
subjects that interest him.
Arrange get-togethers and
outings so they can explore
and learn together. Also, get
some good dictionaries,
reference books, and
encyclopedias that are ideal
for young children. Expect
to learn a lot yourself.

HOW ACTIVELY SHOULD

YOU PROMOTE LEARNING?
This is the question we are asked most often by parents.
The answer is that parental teaching does, without question,

Brain Development contd. on page 11.

The Newsletter for the Center
for Development and Learning

Brain Development cont'd. from page 10.

make a difference in what young children know and what their
skills are. Whether such teaching needs to be planned,
however, is a different matter. Many parents teach naturally
and without awareness in their everyday exchanges with their
children. Others are less comfortable or skilled in this role,
especially with very young children who do not have welldeveloped verbal skills. Overly forceful and ambitious parental
teaching seldom, if ever, works well. This can be frustrating to
parents and children alike. It can also create negative emotions
connected to later formal learning.
Each child is an individual. Pay attention to your childs
interests, talents, curiosity. Capitalize on them. Do not waste
time comparing your child to others at this stage. Instead,
appreciate your childs uniqueness and remarkable development.
Children with few opportunities to learn, whose parents
are not highly responsive, and whose families do not provide a
rich language environment are at a
decided disadvantage when they
go to school. It is difficult for these
children to make up for the years
of inadequate encouragement,
mentoring, celebration, practice,
and language experiences. Even
when these children learn a lot
from what schools have to offer,
they trail significantly behind their
classmates who came from more
enriched families.
The learning opportunities
that preschool children in our
country have are profound.
Children from families, preschools, and communities that are
rich in the Seven Essentials - the natural forms of everyday
teaching and encouragement that work best - are at a clear
advantage when they go to school. These children are prepared
for what schools do best - building and expanding childrens
competencies in academic and social areas.
In the long run,
active parental
teaching makes a
huge difference. But
effective parents
balance the teaching
of life skills and
school skills. Good
parent-teachers
recognize the many
ways that children
learn from
experience,
observations and
reflection.
Some children
have learning
differences, only
partly understood at
this time. But all
children can and do

learn under the right conditions. And this learning is vital to

their quality of life, their health and well-being, and the ways
they will become contributing citizens as they grow up. Being
close to a young child is the most precious reminder we have of
how vital learning is to our society, how basic it is to want to
know more, and how joyful it is to gain new skills and
understanding.
Cherish your own sense of wonder at your childs
remarkable growth and learning. Notice, too, how much you
are learning and what a skillful teacher you are becoming.

Chapter Two from Going To School was reprinted with

permission from the authors.
Craig Ramey is a Distinguished Professor in Health Studies
and the Founding Director, along with Sharon Ramey, of the
Center on Health and Education. His research has focused on
the effects of the early experience on childrens intellectual and
social competence. He developed and continues to lead the
Abecedarian Project. He has also studied the effects of early
intervention for premature, low birth weight children. Recently
he completed a 31-site study mandated by Congress, known
as the Head Start-Public School Early Childhood Transition
Demonstration Project. Ramey serves actively as an advisor to
many national initiatives in early childhood, including advising
the First Lady Laura Bush on a series of parenting booklets
and President Bush and his leadership team about the
importance of early experience on brain and behavioral
development. He has received many national awards,
including the American Psychological Association Award for
Exemplary Prevention Programs, the Howard Heflin Award
for Contributions to World Health and Education (2000), the
Childrens Advocate Award (2002) and was named to the
National Institute of Child Health and Human Developments
Hall of Honor (2003). Dr. Ramey is a member of the
CDL Professional Advisory Board.
Sharon Ramey is the Susan Mayer Professor in Child and
Family Studies and the Founding Director, along with Craig
Ramey, of the Center on Health and Education. Her research
has focused on the effects of the environment on behavior,
including longitudinal studies of the effects of early experience
on the development of children at risk for mental retardation
and school failure; work on the behavioral effects of prenatal
exposure to alcohol, nicotine, and cocaine; studies on the
dynamic changes affecting American families; research on the
social ecology of residential and educational settings for
individuals with mental retardation; and a recent study on the
transition to school, including 8,000 former Head Start
children and families and 3,000 other classmates and their
families. Ramey has received many national awards, including
the Howard Heflin Award for Contributions to World Health
and Education (2000), the American Association on Mental
Retardations Distinguished Research Contributions Award
(2000), and the Childrens Advocate Award (2002).
The Newsletter for the Center
for Development and Learning

11

The Newsletter for the Center for Development and Learning

July 2004
How Parents Can Help Children Learn

Page

How Does Your Childs Brain Work

Page

The Types of Learning

Page

Seven Essentials to Help Your Child Every Day

Page

Activities for Mentoring Children

Page

Activities to Practice Academic and Social Skills

Page

Why Children Ask Why

Page

10

How Actively Should You Promote Learning?

Page

10

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the business
of improving
childrens
lives.

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