Ryan Kelly

Writing 2
De Piero
2/22/16
Hook-up Culture Throughout Perspectives: Psychology, Child and Family Studies (Family
Studies), and Social Media

Comment [1]: Cool topic!

Whether meeting at a party on a Friday night or meeting while studying in the library,
hooking up in college is something that everybody imagines everybody does. Many college
students sexual encounters tend to be thought of as exclusively hooking up. Throughout this
paper, I will be analyzing and discussing three different methodologies used in looking at the

Comment [2]: I noticed you're using "hooking up" a *lot*

in this paragraph -- any way to change it up a bit? (I
think you did this in your WP1 intro too.)

hook-up culture of todays youth. These articles include: a scholarly journal published by the
American Psychology Association titled Casual Hook up Sex During the First Year of College:
Prospective Associations with Attitudes about Sex and Love Relationships, a scholarly journal
article published by The University of Tennessees Department of Child and Family Studies
titled, Hooking up during the college years: is there a pattern? and an online social media
article from Teen Vogue titled The Surprising Reality About Hook-Up Culture in College. While
all the publications have a specific area of focus and discuss a similar theme, the scholarly
journals employ rhetoric features and conventions to more solidly support the topic while the
social media source uses moves to engage and inform its audience better.
When analyzing articles from different disciplines, it is important to note how each text
goes about discussing the same topic. When looking at both the Psychology and the Family
Studies articles, it is easy to notice that they have similar conventions. For example, both
articles begin with an abstract which gives a brief overview of the entire article and then is
followed by an introduction. When looking at Teen Vogues article, the article begins in a very
different way by first using an anecdote about hook-up culture, and then leads in to give their
own definition of what hooking up really is. For example, the article began with Last year I

Comment [3]: Sweet! I really like how you're separating

aspects from the academic pieces from the nonacademic source. Now, I'm wondering: OK, what
rhetorical features? Which conventions? What does it
mean "solidly support the topic"? And are you
suggesting that the academic writers don't use "moves"
in their pieces?
So more specificity and more clarification, please!

heard a frat guy ask one of my sorority sisters. and goes on to say What is a hook-up? No
one really knows. By using this rhetorical feature, the author is able to grab the readers
attention by telling them a personal story experiencing the hook-up culture as well as telling the
reader a definition of what hooking up is. Even though the scholarly articles can be very similar,
they do differ from discipline to discipline. In the Psychology piece, the authors discuss
attitudes about sex and love using past studies as well using their own hypothesis on how these
attitudes make people feel before and after a hook-up. For example, the authors say how
students who are embarrassed by genital contact may avoid casual hook-up sex therefore
comfort with casual genital contact may be meaningfully associated with involvement in casual
hook-up sex (Katz 1452). In the Family Studies article, the researchers aim to determine if the
rate of hook-ups in college aged students relate to increased health risks. For example, the
authors use three different sub-topics (alcohol consumption, gender, and relationship status)
that they believe are correlated to how people hook-up and discuss how these categories may
affect behavior. In the Family Studies article, the researchers use these categories in the hope
to determine if risky behavior from hooks up can be changed while the psychology article
evaluates attitudes about sex and love and their relationship to hook ups.
An authors moves are what make his or her writing their own. These moves allow
them to be able to employ certain writing tactics in order to engage the reader in a specific way.
When looking at scholarly publications, it may be hard to decipher certain moves the authors
make because these articles are typically laid out in a very similar way. But, it is important to
look closely because each article is written by a different author and with with a different writing
style. In the Psychology article, a certain move the authors employ is using expectations. For
example, throughout the piece the authors use phrases such as may be or might predict. By
using this move, the reader realizes that although the authors refer to previous studies for
support, the authors also stimulate additional questions and their own thought. An example of
this is Participating in casual hook up sex may be associated with attitudes about love

Comment [4]: I see how you're using this to "move"

from the Vogue opening anecdote to the differences
between Psych/Child+Family studies, but you already
stated this.
Try to consolidate all of your common themes in one
place, that way you don't need to repeat yourself. Trim
the fat whenever possible.
Comment [5]: Is their hypothesis in their Intro or
somewhere early on in their piece? I'm guessing
probably...
It seems like this whole paragraph is about how each
piece *begins* -- if you agree, then I'd state that in your
topic sentence. Use your topic sentence to lay down a
clear, directed overview of the paragraph -- "each piece
differs in how they lay out their definitions for "hookup", to the use of anecdotes, to posing a hypothesis."
Something like that -- something that keys me, as a
reader, into what's coming up.
All that said, you've written a lot in this paragraph, so if
it's *not* all centered around one theme, you might be
trying to squeeze in too much into 1 para.
Comment [6]: So does this connect with how they
"define" or operationalize hook-up culture? (Is this
paragraph about defining what it is/ isn't? What
connects all these ideas together?)
Comment [7]: How are these two paragraphs
connected? Why have you laid them out like this
back-to-back? What do they have in common? How
do they build on/off each other? Whatever the
answer(s) to these questions are, you might want to
weave them in to create a smoother transition.
Comment [8]: This is a pretty broad focus for a
paragraph -- can you break up "moves" into *types of*
moves?
Comment [9]: Agreed, but such as? Could be a good
spot to throw in a dash (--) at the end of the sentence
and clarify what you mean or give an example.
Comment [10]: This comment is in reference to the
whole paragraph:
When I see thiseven before I start readingI think,
Ahhhhhhh! Attack of the page-long paragraph!
See if you like this metaphor:
Pretend your whole paper is a big, juicy steak. Do you
want your reader to enjoy that steak in easy-to-chew,
digestable bites? Or do you want them to start
gnawing away at whole thing in one piece (think:
zombie).
Paragraphs are like those bites. Give your reader
your argument in little, digestable, one-idea-at-a-time
bits. By doing so, theyll be able to following along the
trail of your argument much easier. To relate it back...to
[1]
Comment [11]: There's a term for this. We covered it in
class.

relationships. As a Psychology disciplined article, this move really show that the authors are
challenging their own knowledge and looking deeper than just the results that came from prior
studies. Regarding the Family Studies article, a move that reoccurs throughout the piece is

Comment [12]: Yessir!

something I would like to call the Spit and State. As I pointed out previously, the authors use
sub-categories in order to connect previous studies to the the one studied in the article. In each
of these categories, the authors ultimately state all the facts that these previous studies found
regarding each sub-category, then concludes at the end of each one what hypothesize to
happen in this study given all the prior knowledge and studies done regarding the same topic.
For example, in the gender paragraph the authors exclaim, after stating all the prior facts, that
For the current study, we expected that men and women would differ in their hook up pattern
and similarly in the relationship status paragraph For this study, we expected the hook up
pattern to differ based on relationship status during the semester of the study (Roberson 579).
The Spit is the restating of all the facts regarding the topic from previous studies and the State
is stating what the authors expect from this study given all this prior knowledge. When
examining an author's moves from a pop culture source, it is easier to identify their specific

Comment [13]: Great job here, Ryan. You're helping

me understand, super-clearly, what you're saying -laying down a claim, then evidence, then a follow-up
explanation. :) :)

moves because these type of articles are much more opinionated and created to appeal to the
general public. A move these authors use is the Quote and Note. With this move, the author
pulls quotes from doctors and professors that have done research on hook ups and then
incorporates her own insight about the statement that the outside source has given. For
example, the author states that 67% of people in relationships have hook-up prior to them being
in a relationship. After stating so, the author chimes in and articulates Now were not saying
that you should start hooking up with guys if you want a relationship (Dwyer). By doing this, the
author is supporting the statement given but also putting another perspective on it because they
want the reader to think about what is being said in more than one way. Another move that the
author uses is italicizing specific words in order to misconstrue common misconceptions about
the hook-up culture. For example, the author shares that There definitely is an active hook-up

Comment [14]: Do you think laying out move, after

move, after move is the best way to support your
argument? Could there be any other ways of restructuring things so that your reader can make the
most sense of *why* you're bringing up what you're
bringing up?
I'm also wondering: what's the bigger -picture issue
with all of these moves? What do they tell us about
how these different folks "see" this issue? And
how/why does it enhance your argument?

culture, but its only because people have the idea that people are doing it every week. The
author italicizes idea because doing so clearly implies to the reader that people misconstrue
the idea that people are hooking up all day, every day. By using this move, it exemplifies to the
reader that this is not the case.
With different authors employing different moves, you need to be able to realize what is
the purpose of the moves and the entire article altogether. In So What? Who Cars?

Comment [15]: Read this aloud before you submit!

Birkenstein states that although a statement is clear and easy to follow, it lacks any indication
that anyone needs to hear it. Relating Birkensteins statement to the Psychology article, the
Psychology article explains the so what and who cares clearly within the text. For example,
the authors exclaim, It is unclear whether gender moderates the potential effect of these or
other attitudes about sex and love on future involvement in casual sex. These possibilities were
explored in the current research. By saying this, the authors distinctly let the reader know that
previous research has not concluded sufficient evidence regarding the topic and therefore that

Comment [16]: This is an exclamation? Seems just like

a hedged, analytical statement.
Use your verbs intentionally.

is why the author is conducting this study. The purpose of the Family Studies article and its
moves are to determine the different criteria associated with hooking up and whether there is a
pattern in the hook-up culture based on behaviors related to the three correlates: alcohol
consumption, gender, and relationship status. However, when looking at the Teen Vogue
article, the purpose is to display and disprove common misconceptions most teens have
concerning the hook-up culture.
Based on the traditional research format of each academic article, both are tailored to an
audience of mostly scholars, such as researchers and professors. Conversely, the Family
Studies article is also aimed at health professionals with the goal of creating change in sex
education on college campuses. Additionally, both articles state a need for further research. In

Comment [17]: Which is?

regards to the Teen Vogue audience, the article is most likely designed to reach out to a

I want you to find clues that provide insights into how

these different folks understand and conceptualize and
research this topic in different ways.

majority of college students struggling with finding a partner and to help teens decipher common
statistics regarding teen sexual behavior.

The structures of both scholarly articles are very similar. These articles both follow the
traditional research genre layouts which include the following sections: abstract, introduction,
background information, materials and methods, and discussion and implications. Similarly,
each section satisfies its common traditional rhetorical feature. Both determine a research topic
and question, evaluate current knowledge and research, discuss methods, analyze data,
evaluate data and offer interpretations for future research. The Teen Vogue articles structure is
much different than that of the scholarly publication, it does not contain a traditional research
genre layout. As I stated, it begins with an anecdote and then reveals what the author believes
to be the definition of hooking up. After that, the entire article doesnt follow any traditional
outline. The author throws in statements and research results from a few possibly credible
sources, such as doctors and professors, while also incorporating her opinion. There is no order
to the author's statements or claims in the article. Lots of previously thought ideas are proven
wrong throughout, but randomly. The author closes the article concluding that most ideas are
misconceptions stating, Its pretty safe to say that societys ideas about dating have changed
since the age of the dance card, but nowadays, there is no universally accepted norm we just
think there is. Simply, the author does not follow a good organizational structure but still does a
good job introducing and closing the discussion.
When comparing the effectiveness of scholarly texts versus non-academic texts, it
depends a lot upon the audience. A college student looking for information on hook-ups most
likely wouldnt want to read a fifteen-page research article when they can find information from a
public friendly website such as Teen Vogue. I believe that is the case because the Teen Vogue
article contained first-order thinking. In Two Kinds of Thinking, Peter elbow declares that
unplanned and descriptive exploratory writing will almost invariably lead the person
spontaneously to formulate conceptual insights that are remarkably shrewd. What this means
is that first-planned thinking really gives way for the author to express great information along
with being able to connect with the reader through everyday language and expression.

Comment [18]: Abso!

Although a college student may prefer a non-academic text, that does not elude the
persuasiveness of an academic publication. Academic publications cater to the research and
scientific community while the non-academic publications cater more towards the general
public, yet both are persuasive through the use of credible information and tactical writing styles.
When analyzing the same topic through different disciplines and sources, you are able to
see their similarities as well as their differences. By observing those, you are given insight into
how the structures, conventions, and moves differ while also observing how persuasive and
effect each type of piece is. Looking at a single topic through different perspectives allows the
reader to understand how and why each author decides to do what he or she does. Both
scholarly articles and the social media source allow the reader to accurately determine and
understand each authors perceptions and assessments which eventually lead to the reader to
become more informed and educated about the topic. While the scholarly articles and the
social media source use rhetorical features, conventions, and moves, the social media source
allows the more fluid use of moves and engagement for the reader.

Works Cited
Dwyer, Kate. "The Surprising Reality About Hook-Up Culture in College | Teen Vogue." Teen
Vogue. N.p., 9 Dec. 2015. Web. 17 Feb. 2016.
Elbow, Peter. Embracing Contraries: Exploration in Learning and Teaching. New York. Oxford
U Press. 1986.
Graff, Gerald and Cathy Birkenstein. "So What?/ Who cares?" They Say/I Say: The Moves that
Matter in Academic Writing. New York: Norton, 2010. pp. 92-101.
Katz, Jennifer, and Monica E. Schneider. "Casual Hook Up Sex During The First Year Of
College: Prospective Associations With Attitudes About Sex And Love Relationships." Archives
Of Sexual Behavior 42.8 (2013): 1451-1462. Academic Search Complete. Web. 17 Feb. 2016.
Roberson, Patricia N.E., Spencer B. Olmstead, and Frank D. Fincham. "Hooking Up During The
College Years: Is There A Pattern?." Culture, Health & Sexuality 17.5 (2015): 576-591.
Academic Search Complete. Web. 17 Feb. 2016.

Writing 2 Feedback Matrix for WP2

Table of Textual Features and Qualities
Did Not Meet
Expectations

Met
Expectations

Thesis Statement

X-

Use of Textual Evidence from

Genres

Use of Course Readings

Analysis

Organization/Structure

Attention to Genre/Conventions
and Rhetorical Factors

X/X-

Attention to Moves

X/X-

Sentence-level Clarity,
Mechanics, Flow

X-

Exceeded
Expectations

Comments and Grade

Ryan,
Your hard work on this WP2 paid off -- nice job,
brother. : ) Check out my comments on some ways
to guide your revision. If I could give you one
suggestion, itd be: how can you lay out your
argument 1 (small) piece at a time so your reader
can best understand how your argument plays out?
Think to yourself: OK, what are some ways (plural)
to lay out this paper, and which way (singular)
would be the best for me and my readers?
Z
8.5/10

Page 2: [1] Commented

Zack De Piero

2/27/16 1:18 AM

This comment is in reference to the whole paragraph:

When I see thiseven before I start readingI think, Ahhhhhhh! Attack of the page-long
paragraph!
See if you like this metaphor:
Pretend your whole paper is a big, juicy steak. Do you want your reader to enjoy that steak in
easy-to-chew, digestable bites? Or do you want them to start gnawing away at whole thing in
one piece (think: zombie).
Paragraphs are like those bites. Give your reader your argument in little, digestable, one-ideaat-a-time bits. By doing so, theyll be able to following along the trail of your argument much
easier. To relate it back to the steak metaphor, readers need to be able to see the different
parts/pieces/bites of the argument that theyre chewing on.