2010 IUSA Intervarsity Profiles

Hosted by UCC Sailing Club & Tralee Bay Sailing Club

Wednesday 24th February – Sunday 28th February 2010

Fenit, Co. Kerry

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Honourable Mention: Phelim Bradley
Hi i’m Phelim,

I didn’t get a profile at the varsities last year and so I threw a

massive hissy fit which included sentences like “I hate the sailing
club”, “This is the final straw” and “I’m leaving this club for
good”. I even beat Katie Dolan to the title of “Completely
irrational freak out of the year award” and that’s saying
something considering her shenanigans at the varsities last year.
Anyway, Paddy said I could tell my life story this year as payback:
My family too has an uncommon last name. In fact, I believe it to only exist in the United States and there aren't many of us.My Grandfather, Robert Louis Vissoc, told
the story of his father, Joseph Vissoc, being the first born in the U.S. of Italian Immigrants. He never gave the name of his Grandparents, or I don't recall them. There
is also the possibility of a brother of Joseph being born on the way over. My Grandfather also said that our last name was modified. His claim was it was something
like Vizzachi. I now believe that to not be quite right.I'd begun my own investigation, believing that there was only one family line of Vissoc's in the U.S. Imagine my
suprise 9 years ago to discover someone else doing research on the Vissoc name. Even more suprising to me was to discover that I am not the only Anthony Vissoc in existence. There are two others. A father and son. What I am still researching is where
our family lines converge and whether this family line started pre or post-immigration.My research comes to a dead-end at census records. I can find two Vissoc families in records as far back as the 1910 census in Stark County Ohio, which is where most
all of the Vissoc family resides... with the exception of my father's decendants. I find two Vissocs, both reported to have immigrated in 1888 from Italy.Based on what I can discover, our last name was more likely spelled Visocchi. This is the most common
likeness that I can find on ellisisland.com. I've reached a dead-end, however. After researching Visocchi immigrants from that time period, I read a report that there was a fire that destroyed records at Ellis Island, which would have included the time period
that my ancestor would have immigrated.Had my family done better at passing down stories - and accurate ones at that - I wouldn't be at this dead end.I desperately want to know more about where my family came from. What their occupations were. Why
they left Italy. How they came to arrive in Ohio of all places.I've included a picture of the 1910 census report of the Fred Vissoc family, one of two Vissoc households existing in 1910. The other family is Frank Vissoc, who also reportedly immigrated in
1888.I hope to continue my research, but may have to seek the help of those on the other side of the pond.I’m an only child as was my dad, but his mother came from a large family. A couple of years ago, a second cousin of my father decided to put
together a family history.To get the ball rolling on his project, Cousin Sheldon asked each of us to supply the birth, death, marriage dates, locations and occupations of our parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents.This was shortly after my father
died, so Mother and I tried to come up with a list from recollections Dad and his mother had shared with us.I felt pretty confident that the information we had supplied was accurate. But Cousin Sheldon used that information as a starting point. He plumbed
federal Census Records and other public records that proved inconsistent with the memories my mother and I shared.I’m not sure how I feel about this. Much of how we view ourselves is based on who we believe ourselves to be which is deeply
interwoven with our past experiences and those of our forebears.In my case, I believed my great-grandfather was the son of a federal judge in Vermont. This man, Fred Eddy, ran away from home at an early age and worked for the railroad. His job was to
walk the railroad tracks to check them for safety issues.In the course of his travels he met my great-grandmother Jesse Gansel, the daughter of hotel owners. Fred boarded at the family’s hotel.Years later, a 24-place setting of Havilland china would sit
untouched in two barrels in our attic. Jesse inherited it from her mother; my grandmother inherited it from hers. Havilland china has always been pricey and my great-grandmother never used it in her own home, fearing one of her children would chip it with
rough handling. We never used it either.These stories and additional anecdotes surrounding them were told time and again to me over the years.So it was quite a surprise to learn from Sheldon that our common great-great-grandparents never owned a
hotel. Public records reveal that Gansel was a farmer, dry goods shop owner, sheriff, and judge!While we can all name a judge or two on the Supreme Court, it is doubtful we know any. This is because compared to the general population; judgeships are
few and far between.I’m having a tough time accepting that both of my great-great-grandfathers were judges. More than that, I cannot think of a single reason for a couple to own enough matching china to feed 24 people in a household of 4. I also cannot
figure out why my grandmother would have lied about the circumstances of her parents’ meeting or about the occupation of her grandparents. Worse, my cousin’s research places great-grandfather Fred’s father in Pennsylvania—and not affiliated with law
in any way. More peculiar, he found great-grandfather Fred’s birth records in Vermont! Shouldn’t his dad have been living there, too? Of course, families move. But the implication is that the Gansels and Eddys lived in the same area of
Pennsylvania.Because I know my cousin is meticulous, I know his research is accurate—about someone!I’m busy but I devoted a day to trying to locate past federal judges in Vermont. Unrelated to the people mentioned in this story, I also tried looking up
professional licenses for others now dead. None of this information seems to be available online.A curious lapse in information is newspaper records. Some of these publications have been operating for 150 years or more. Imagine the value to
genealogists if newspapers were to transfer their old clippings from micro fiche and put them online. They could even charge for searches!If you live nearby, you can visit newspaper libraries and conduct your own search. You only pay for copies of any
material you make. But with families spread around the country, this isn’t always feasible.About 20 years ago, friends of ours decided they wanted to create their own family genealogy. They had anecdotal evidence that they originated in France. Try as
they might, they could get no information on their family history, but they had contacted a number of others who shared their family name: Rideout. They gave up before they got started until they heard from one of the people they had contacted. It turns out
their actual surname was Rideoux. Someone on Ellis Island had written their name incorrectly! Armed with this new information they took up the hunt again and a few years later the Rideouts and Rideouxs met for their first family reunion! This is what I am
thankful for! I used my copy of Memorygrabber as an outline to jar my memory of some of the events of my first 20 years of my manhood as a friend, an adult, husband, parent, lover of GOD, my Church and the communities in which I learned so much
from. We are still together and in our continuing 32 1/2 year. It is outlined by Year Age Happening 1958 0 I was born on July 13 at 3201 Franklin Blvd Chicago, Illinois 60653. 1959 (1 year old) We lived in this apartment for another four years. 1960 2 years
old: Rosemarie my sister was born this year.1961 3 years old: The family was attending the Monroe Street Church of Christ - Robert M. Woods was the Minister. 1962 4 years old: Susie my little sister was born this year. 1963 5 years old I started attending
Morse elementary School. My father (Thomas L. Hill) was a member of the Monroe Street Church of Christ. Dad was baptized and was active in the Church and community. Working for United Airlines he fueled up Airplanes to take care of his family. We
regularly attended Church every week on Sunday and midweek services. 1964 6 years old: Our family moved to 525 North Sawyer across the street from a Hospital and one block West of Kedzie Avenue. Attending Morse elementary School. We regularly
attended Church every week on Sunday and midweek services. 1965 7 years old: We regularly attended Church every week on Sunday and midweek services. 1966 8 years old: We regularly attended Church every week on Sunday and midweek
services.1967 years old: My first dog's name was "Basal." we were great friends. I taught him to jump fences. He was excellent I graduated from Morse Elementary. Basal died not long after I had grown to love him. Basal was hit by a Wonder Bread truck I
recall. I cried for hours upon hours to this day my heart breaks for my first love "Basal". It was around this year learned that I was interested in God, The Bible, Christianity and Baptism.I was taught about the Bible being the standard by which you live your
life and I began to make the decisions that this would be the foundational teachings about my faith, Jesus, Heaven and Hell. I really believed that I did not want to go to Hell. I recall I was baptized this year because I wanted the grape juice and the crackers
in the tray that passed by every Sunday and since my brothers were taking it, I wanted to as well. We regularly attended Church every week on Sunday and midweek services. 1968 10 years old: My grandmother, (Alma Boulevard-Bell) lived with our
family. A very famous Black leader in my formative years came into my attention; it was Martin Luther King Jr. He was the civil rights leader that impacted thousands of people to stand up for non violence in America. He was later assassinated in April of
this year at 39 years old. I saw the fire from the riots on Madison Avenue. Nevertheless, we regularly attended Church every week on Sunday and midweek services.1969 11 years old: Attending Morton Upper Grade Center. This was the year of deciding
who I would not want to become in my life. I learned that the urban community that I lived in really influenced me. Gangs were all around me and I me. I learned what fear was and I was afraid. Gangs were everywhere. I did not know how to respond to the
sheer number of "Mad black Souls" and the "Vice Lords". 1970 12 years old: Attending Morton Upper Grade Center. Mother and father separated. I realized I could sing and I was leading song service at Church. 1971 13 years old: Attending Morton Upper
Grade Center. I graduated from Morton Upper Grade Center on the west side of Chicago. Then we moved to Lake and Damon Avenue into the projects. 1972 14 years old: I entered attending Orr High school for my freshman year of high school. During
the summer our family moved to the south side of Chicago, Illinois. Our address became 3747 South Giles. We moved into the house of the founding member of the mother’s side of our family her name was Fannie Linear Davis. She must’ve been in her
60s or 70s. Upon our arrival. We moved in and we placed our Church membership at the 39th Street Church of Christ. We regularly attended Church on Sunday and midweek services. I was leading songs and sporadically started to become disinterested
in Church and more interested in girls, bodybuilding and singing. I rebelled against my mom and wanted to dress and wear my hair braided a lot and other things that teenagers do.1973 15 years old: Attended Dunbar Vocational High school on the south
side of Chicago, 3000 Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. I entered in the music program which consisted of jazz, concert and marching band. I continue to go to Church. 1974 16 years old: Attended Dunbar Vocational High school. I started the singing group
"Guys of Paradise" (Marvin, Jasper and myself) I started body building more regularly this year at the YMCA on the south side of Chicago. 1975 17 years old: Attended Dunbar Vocational High school. I befriended guys named Dan Paterson and Marvin
Jones and I started roller skating this year, a lot. Famous R&B singing group that was up and coming.I became very interested in Francine Johnson whose family knew the Chi-Lites and I think my heart burned for her a lot. I wanted to be with her as much
as I could, so I spent a lot of time at her house from almost beautiful as well. I really liked her brother Frank Johnson. He was called Iggie for short. He made me laugh once that I recall, he put a pot over his face and looked at me and asked when the
smoke some pot and we just laughed so hard. I still remember that today. 1976 18 years old: Attended Dunbar Vocational High school. I graduated from Dunbar, but before I left for the military. I would preach at church. I recall this one sermon I preached. I
remember saying ... "I know him whom I have believed and I am persuaded that he is able"... 2 Tim 1:12-18. That would become the mantra for my life at 18 years old. This would be the conviction by which I would build my faith in God.I went to College at
Southwestern Christian College Aug 26, 1976; I met Feliz Perocier (My wife to be in 9 months) the first day of school. I stayed in school the first semester. I was also interested in Valerie Sanky. After a major relational blunder at a party with Valerie, I
decided to look to Feliz and spend time with her. I was leading songs and sporadically started to become disinterested in Church. After starting to attend South Western Christian College, I started another Singing Group called the ..."Eternal Bliss of Pure
Harmony".... We enjoyed a bit of campus success. After the last musical Opportunity. My brother was involved in a petty crime and this course of events and what ensued created the activity that lead me to Feliz and I getting together and later deciding to
get married. 1977 19 years old: I asked Feliz to marry me, for I left Terrell Texas, and I realize I would need to obtain a job in order to provide for her and I. Jan 11, I entered the Armed Services and my first station was Ft. Bragg South Carolina for basic
training. Transferred to Ft. Lee Virginia for Advanced Individual Training March through May. I chose to be an Administrative Assistant (76 - Y10) Supply Clerk. I flew to California to marry Feliz Perocier May 21st, 1977. Feliz was 17 years old and we had to
get permission from her parents to get married. We moved into our first apartment in a trailer park. I moved from Ft. Lee Virginia to Ft. Polk Louisiana and we settled off base in to Leesville. Our first rent was $100.00 per month and our first car was an
Ambassador Station Wagon. I made $6500.00 that year. We moved to a one bedroom trailer and the rent $62.00 per month. 1978 20 years old: I was in the army for 14 months. I did not like the authority of the military and following orders and the like. I
remember saying to myself, I have got to get out of this place but I cannot do it with violence. I must leave the army with an honorable discharge.After reading and talking to different soldiers and my superiors, into having to work out that I got out of the
military with honorable discharge March 23rd 1978. Simone was born Oct 15th this year and I was proud and scared at the same time. Feliz and I decided that Chicago was not the place we were going to raise our family. I decided that education was the
only way I was going to improve our life and raise my ability to provide for them. I started attending Kennedy King College using the GI Bill.There is more but that will be for my book entitled, “Are We There Yet?” This happened about 10 years back. It was
a very sad and desperate time in my life. My young niece was very sick, afflicted by SLE(lupus). For the family to comprehend the fact that this very young beautiful girl, so full of life, was in the grip of a disease so mean that she had very few chances of
survival, was almost impossible. Her parents were in denial.I will never in my life forget the day the doctor in the hospital called me and told me to call the other family members as she might not survive the next 48 hours. The infection had spread to her
brain.Her eyes had started popping out right in front of me.I had to be strong. I could not give up. I could not let this young woman who wanted so much to live, know she had maybe only 48 hours.I rushed to Delhi to drop my children off and to bring my
sisters with me to Chandigarh. Sheena, my niece, wouldn't let me go because she thought I was leaving her to go home. I promised to be back in the morning.I had given up praying to God long ago since the religion as practiced did not make sense to me.
That one night I was frantic and throughout my car journey I prayed to all Gods. All I could do was pray and cry and ask God to spare this young life.I reached Delhi in the morning and my nephew took me to the Sai Baba Temple where I sat and prayed
and made all kinds of promises to God.
We left for Chandigarh the same day, my two sisters accompanying me. We hardly spoke but prayed. I was scared of reaching the hospital, of seeing my niece going downhill. I walked toward the ward with my heart beating wildly.As I stood at the hospital
ward door I saw my niece, she was smiling at me. This was, the and will remain, the sweetest smile I ever saw. She had survived, had won the battle with lupus.And that day i reconnected with my God. I still do not follow any one particular religion or rituals
but believe in one supreme power. The power that decides and designs life. And I am no more in conflict with that power, I accept gracefully.

Then I fell in love with Susan, came to UCC and joined the sailing club.

I HATE Fred, he is the cause of everything that is bad in this world.

Phelim

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 UCC Sailing Club 2010
Paddy Good:
Captain G-spot here. My legacy has
been marred by Gary Boland.
Otherwise I've had a great year
especially watching Frank fail in his
attempts to woo Olivia. My
greatest achievement this year has
been topping Barbara. Barbara is
the greatest top ever. She inspired
me to get us new boats by the
shapeliness of her breasts.
Without her I would be known as
Anal G's brother. 
Well, I have an event to go run.
Yours in sailing, Paddy the Cunt.

Johnny Leahy:
Hi guys! (Spoken in a high pitch voice) I'm
Johnny Leahy! You may know me as the
shrimp with a tiny head. Since developing a
hair problem which results in me losing my
hair at a rapid rate, I have started vomiting
before nights out due to the pressure of
scoring. If you want to score me make sure
we get a photo so I can upload it to my
favourite facebook page "Join this group if u
scored Johnny Leahy".
Sorry guys but I have to get back to scoring
this ol' doll, see you around during the week!
 

 
Rob Lehane:
Mom, if you're reading this I'm sorry I jeopardized your, I mean my Olympic
dream by getting UCC3 kicked out of the last event. You were right all along, I'm
waaay to good for that UCC sailing crowd. Roll on London 2012!

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 Rob O' Leary:
You might know me as the "other brother" in the O'Leary
sailing dynasty. As in, not the one who went to the Olympics
and not the one who won a shit load of national titles and
single handedly won the SYWOC, but the one who came 3rd
in the 1720s in calves week '08. I have a lot in common with
John Terry. We're both light sportsmen and we've both lost
things that are important to us. JT lost his wife and I lost my
jagermeister machine.
 
   
John Dunlea:
Hi, I'm John "Cakes" Dunlea! You might not see me at
the varsos because I'm getting surgery on my
physically massive head to get it reduced in size. I'm
hoping to denote at least half of it to Johnny Leahy,
who might now live a normal life. I've spent the last 20
years in the gym trying to build up my body so that it
will match my head but I just gave up recently and
resigned myself to the fact that its not going to
happen. Not long left in college now, up early each
day working hard to lock down the future I've been
working so hard for since I came to UCC. Flavans
won't run itself! Okay, I'll leave you guys with my
party trick: I drink 2 flaggins of druids and pass out.
Then you rub my hair and watch my groaner boner.
Wish me a speedy recovery post-op!
 
Sean Whelan:
I'm as low key as they come. A well rounded
gentleman and a scholar. Love a bit of yachting. 
Yours etc, Sean.

Gary Boland:
Hi, I'm uhhh Gary Boland. I'm a 35 year old depressed
accountant who possesses a certain member of the
UCCSC's body and causes untold destruction at events. For
example, at Kilrush, I pissed at the bar (Bet you didn't know
THAT Darragh!), wraaaastled with Rob on the pool table, called the hotel manager
a cunt and then hit on his wife. The next night I got UCC3 kicked out of the event
for gently caressing an already broken light bulb....See? Life isn't fair. See you in
Fenit, feckwankers!

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Rob Murphy:
Hi there. I'm responsible Rob, put down Katie's jab Frank! Sorry about that, I was
just being responsible. As the club conscience I feel it is my duty to uphold our
morals and that is why I engaged in a threesome with 2 lads. Since being
promoted to the firsts I have come to enjoy really beating Katie and use the bit of
sailing as cover for her bruises. By the way, thanks UCC for the new bicep and pec
implants. 
Right, I have to go knock the shit out of Katie. Enjoy the week everyone! 
Rob Murphy, UCC clubs Treasurer.

Frank Kenny:
Hi, I'm Frank the wanker, but did I mention I'm
an investment banker? I'm lacking in energy in
my old age as one of the senior members of the
club but still found the jizz to join the unexclusive
Mauliver club in Wexford. Emma is my new
Nicola. For a moment I thought it was Katie
California but I have now seen the light. Sorry,
did I mention I'm an investment banker? Pony
out!
 
 
Lisa Dann:
Hi, I'm Lisa Dann! The best thing about me is that
my tiny hands make every bald headed yoghurt
slinger I grab look massive. Although between you
and me, Rory's was a bit of a choad. I'm talking a
thumb and index finger pinch job! Dr. D out
fuckers!
 

Dave Healy:
How’s it going, I'm Dave! I started the year off well by mauling one of the freshers
in Wexford. I wonder why she never came back to another event? I have been
quite well behaved this year although that time I helicoptered the finish boat
during a 1,2,3 win, several occasions involving glass and porcelain at each event
and a hiccup in Kilrush involving a light, UCC3 and my attitude more than anything
would suggest otherwise. Let me let you in on a little secret... The band
Manhattan Exchange is actually a front for a gay swingers club which myself and
Jack run. What can I say? I like to be dominated. That’s what attracted me to Katie
California in the first place (That and her massive jabs).

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Peter Moriarty:
Hi, I'm Doctor Moriarty... well that’s the line I
used to pull Paddy's sister in Kilrush. I'm actually
quite a balanced person and don't know how I
have such a bad rep. I mean like, I've only been
arrested in 2 foreign countries, jumped out of a 3
storey window in newport last Summer, got
kicked out of McDonalds on Grand Parade for
"anti-social behaviour" and got kicked out of a
house party during RAG week for shitting in the shower. Thank god I'm learning
about STDs in my classes at the moment so I can treat Paddy's sister discreetly
from home.
 
 
Pete Murphy:
Hi, I'm Pete! I decided to go check out the euro-prostitute scene after being
disappointed with what’s on offer in Cork. Hence the "Erasmus trip" to Prague this
year. I like things my way...So keep your elbows off the fucking table when you're
playing beer pong, never disagree with me in an argument because lets face it, I'm
not going to listen to your point of view because I'm right 100% of the time, and
finally, if we're ever on a J1 and I give you a shopping list, you better follow it to
the fucking tee...Prick.

Simon Murray:
I love using the word cunt around ladies. It really puts
them in their place. It’s kind of like using the word
nigger around black people. They just don't
care...Excuse me, I just don't care. I'm usually in a bad
mood at training because Gary Boland always turns
up late. What a cunting nigger cunt.
   
 
Diarmuid Good:
How’s it going, I'm Anal! (It’s a name, not a state of
mind!) I'd like to take this opportunity to ask
everyone to stop scoring/trying to score my sister. I
was nominated as UCC fresher of the year last year
but was robbed by some ginger prick. The sheer
soul destroying disappointment has turned me into
an epic boozer and these days Paddy is known as
Anal's brother. I bring a new meaning to the phrase
"Everyone in UCC loves Anal!"
 

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Jack Crotty:
Hi, I'm Jack. After my brief romance with Katie I returned
to my playboy ways. By that, I mean smoking a pipe and
sitting in a dressing gown. That said, I still managed to
score 4 girls** one night in the Bróg by using my age old
line: "I'm the sensitive musician type". However, my
dream life ended when Chingy left to go to Australia and
without his guidance, a small turtle led me astray. Now
every night I dine on Chinese but I hope for a bit of variety
at the varsities.
**The term "girls" is used loosely.
 

Dan Hurley:
HI, I'M BIG DAN! SORRY FOR SHOUTING, I'M REALLY TALL YOU SEE
AND ITS THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN HEAR ME! MY CLAIM TO FAME IS
SCORING A 17 YEAR OLD WHO HAS A SISTER WHO LOOKS LIKE OWEN
WILSON WITH BAD HAIR! I FEEL I LAY THE MARKER DOWN
SATURDAY IN WEXFORD AT MY FIRST EVENT WHEN I HIT THE
SAILING CLUB BAR WITH GARY BOLAND AT 9 IN THE MORNING.
DOUBLE VODKAS ALL ROUND! BOOM!!!
 
 
Katie Sheeran:
As most of you know, I get a bit menstrual when I
haven’t eaten. Like for instance, recently Charco
refused to share a serving of his saucy sausage with
me and I ended up making shit of him outside the
Classic. Hugs, Skidmarks Sheeran.
 
 

Jamie Donegan:
Hi guys! It might look like I'm the guys'
bitch but I'm really not! The guys love
me and I love the guys. I just love doing
odd jobs for the guys like getting
firewood. That’s what attracted Katie
to me in the first place because Katie
loves wood aswell! I'll wrap this up by
saying J1 2010 SANTA BARBARA!!!
KATIE, err, I mean, CALI HERE I COME!

Caitlin Cuppage:

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Hi, I'm Caitlin! :) :) :) My favourite things to do are to hang around Monkstown
with my Mom and giving blowjobs! I've missed a lot of training this season. You
see, I've taken up a new wind pipe instrument which leaves me constantly
breathless... Its called the Cantillon. I never swear in public, I save all my thrash
talk for the bedroom. Hugs, Caitlin. :)

Laurna McGovern:
Hi, I'm Laurna! Love the med, love sports and live for the booze. I can be found
outside Hillbillys on a Saturday night squatting for solids in the fountain. I want to
bring 3 things back from the varsities: Fond memories, a wicked hangover and 6
gallons of sperm.

Olivia Good:
Hey there boys! ;) Don't let my sweet innocent appearance fool you. I've
destroyed Frank Kenny as a man and left him a sniveling boy. However, I've made
all of Jack and Pan's dreams come true on the way to heaping as much shame on
my family as possible. You wanna know how I got my nickname "The Gooch"?
Play your cards right at the varsities and you might find out!!

   
Emma Oliver:
Hi, I'm Emma Mauliver! Before we start, lets get it
straight once and for all: That kid I mauled for a naggin
in Schull was 16 so it was within the 2 year rule! 6 nights
of sailing events, 9 guys, BOOM! Suck my cock Rachel
guy, theres a new girl after the title!
   

   
Craig Murray:
Hi! I'm Simon's less boring, more fun younger brother. Although I lost points by
missing the last event for work, I feel I earned enough respect by preying on one
of the international students before Christmas. I've a broken heart now that she’s
gone home but Simon is a great comforter. His hugs are soooo good!
 
 
 
Barbara Duffy:
Hi, I'm Boobara. My jabz are the reason Paddy is inspired to do all the wonderful
things he does for the club. One of my most famous quotes is "Where is Paddy? I
NEED to score him!". I hate sailing in the boat with Caitlin because all she does is
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swear and scream "CUNT". You see, she gets a bit ratty when she’s not playing her
Cantillon as I do when I'm not playing with my G-spot.
 
 
 
 
Dan O' Regan:
I couldn't tell you much about UCCSC. I've only
seen it through to the end of one night in the past
2 years. I really want people to notice me so I
grew this ludicrous mop of hair. The only problem
is that it doesn't fit into my tiny mini. It’s been
great having Sonia in the club this year. She’s the
only person who understands my monotone
Schull voice.
 
 Katie LoCicero:
Hi, I'm Katie California! I'm like a good Mustang: Robust, American and great
airbags. I've sampled a lot of Irish cuisine during my stay here but Jack Crotty was
definitely the worst. I'm settling down with Jamie now. True love is a lot like a box
of chocolates...You need to try absolutely every single last imaginable one before
you find your favourite flavour.
 
 
 
 
Sonia 2.0:
I am a robot. I display no emotions
whatsoever. Except when the guards
came into my house during Rag week
and I cried. Johnny used to arouse me but
the end of our brief romance destroyed me
and I am now an asexual being. Nothing but
a robot. That could be a problem as Rub O'
Leary loves robots. Johnny made me
take up smoking and I kept it up in the hope he takes me back. I'm gutted that
there’s only one picture of me and Johnny on the "Join this group if u scored
Johnny Leahy" page.

Joe Bruen:
WE ALL STUDY IN THE BOOLE, UCC!!! UCC!!! Oh, sorry about that, you caught me
in the middle of one of my chants! The lads call me Jozzer Bruen and I study child
day care in UCC. Its kind of shit but you get to meet loads of girls who will

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hopefully invite me and Pan back to their place to watch the notebook and result
in me missing a night of a sailing event. I love hanging around college with the
lads... Sitting on the triangle in the sunny weather, in the bowl library studying for
exams or just having  a booze in the old pub. I like my women bald below the
waist. They say if there’s grass on the pitch play ball but I prefer to play on the
concrete. Then again, when it comes to swimming, I'm well happy to dive into the
red sea. Oh great, there go’s a techie, check this out lads! C...I...T, IF THE GIRL
SAYS NO, MOLEST HER!

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Cian Twomey

Comes from Cobh. Cian is renowned for his front end a skills and putting the clew up the
mast on national television. Cian was delighted himself as he got lucky in killkee. No doubt
he will have a big smile up on him for the week. Cian is always happy with a "top 3" result!

Mr Joseph Bruen

Joe likes to show his skills and likes to think he is ripped by climbing up masts and trying to
show skills till he lost his Oakley’s and moaned all trip about it. after a night out he normally
is found in a corner counting his coppers and ignoring texts cause it costs too much to reply!
Joe, good idea, stopping at a stop sign, bad idea, using the sign to stop the car!! Only man in
history to have his car rammed by a boat!

Judy Costigan

11
Judy would be one of the best girls coming to CIT .Judy would be famous for contributing to
our tremdous success in France, using the toilet after every race and leaving the spinnaker
firmly under the toilet seat developing a speed hole for a 10 mile down wind. Judy would
normally be seen standing around when everyone else is busy and claiming she is busy doing
something. Never once helped rigged although better than aoife for helping but not by much.
Ha . Judy would also be mad for getting the leg over. After judy scoring Billy (UL) in France
it resulted in Billy jumping off a 3 storey building, but know one knows the full story.

David Kenefick

Dave is part of the night-time staff in CIT sweeping the place clean for the following day
with Dosco brushes. Dave gives up his busy schedule for this week and has decided to
socialise with students. He would of had tried it on with most girls so watch out! Dave would
have done more sailing miles naked than all the miles of the other students here put together.

George Kenefick

Georges trick to motivation is by swearing, the louder he shouts, the faster u go... So good at
laser sailing, that he had to give up, too wet for the Eczema. Has been known to hold his
drink well, while being carried home from SYWOC with his pants around his ankles. George
thinks he’s class at skiing, he tries. After all George can so pretty much do anything
considering his size of his wallet. Do you know who he is??? What a fuckin looser! Tigeeer
woods!!! Three.ie

Nathan Kirwan

12
The Jack of all trades the master of nothing. Nathan has settled down in the last few months
with the one of his dreams! Who is now holding audicans to replace him as he is leaving to
clean the pipes on a gay cruise ship for 9 months. Currabinny will have peace! Probably owns
the worst car known to man, but bless him,  he loves it! In fairness shes a beaut!

Dermot Coughlan

A Schull head before he came to the big city, doesn’t know where he is going, even sailing,
just knows how to get to a pub, probably has never sailed a day without a hangover
contributing to CIT fantastic success this year team racing. Went the team-racing worlds, and
still doesn't know what he's doing! Like the rest of the team so I guess!

Peter Sheehan

Peter follows in dermie footsteps leading each other straight to the pub. Peter birthday was in
killkee and even asked the lads what date it was on his birthday. What an Idiot!

Donagh Good

Blank. Not much to say for the poor chap. You will definitely hear before you see him!
Donagh Can be the teams mentor just from saying stupid stuff out of the blue. Lacks
occasionally from social skills due to the fact of a poor education coming from Crosshaven

13
community school. Known for saying the most in approiate stuff in serious situations.
Laughing when we capsized the Beautiful quarter tonner! Also known for his aggressive but
lax driving style!

DIT Sailing Club

14
Rachel Guy

Rachel Guy will be celebrating her 20 th birthday on Friday, one of the only thoroughbred DIT sailors.
Biggest achievement so far is escaping teen pregnancy.

Simon “Rhatarse” Rhattigan

Some say that each of his toenails are exactly the same as a woman's
nipples and his skin has the texture of a dolphin's, and that wherever you
are in the world, if you tune your radio to 88.4, you can actually hear his
thoughts... all we know is, he's called Simon. EX trinity scum, current
Trinity captain won’t talk to him after Simon left trinity with a sour
taste in his mouth, fond of helping Trinity freshers achieve their goals of
SLUT OF THE YEAR!
Likes: Afternoon tea and crumpets,

Conor “Byrno” Byrne

Words can’t really explain Byrno. He thinks that the “credit-crunch” is some kind of a breakfast
cereal! can usually be found topless by 9pm. Ex UCD sailor moved on after refusing to give in to their
theme of “too gayness for your anus”. Can now be found pissing out of windows, topless, and locked
out of his room by his “girlfriend”. Although Byrno has taken on a serious side and was found giving
out to people in Schull and Kilkee, maybe old age is slowing this raver down.

15
Bryan “Who” Byrne

His girlfriend finally let him come out to play!!!,

Aoife “Bearla” English

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, race unimportant. I’m a very good looking girl
who LOVES to play, take long walks in the woods, hunting, camping, fishing trips and cozy winter
nights by the fire. Really like a man with a pickup truck. A candlelight dinner will have me eating out
of your crotch. I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature
gave me. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. Kiss me and I’m yours. Call (08*) 293-1966
and ask for Bearla.

16
Ben Malone

This heroin riddle lad never had a chance, hails from Skerries where he was forced into a life of drug
pushing and prostitution at the age of 10. He hasn’t quite got over it, is attending DIT as part of the
“reach-out to deprived youths” programme, and is said to be coming on leaps and bounds, only
shooting up once a day now.

Tony “TonZ” Fitzgerald

Sir Tony TonZ, was born in Sligo in 1922. In 1954 his first novel, 'Lucky Dave gets with Rach Guy',
burst onto the literary scene with extraordinary force, gaining him instant fame and notoriety as one
of the most prominent of the so-called 'angry young men'. He went on to write over twenty novels
(winning the Booker Prize in 1986 for 'The Old Devils'), and many volumes of poetry and non-fiction.
He was knighted in 1991. His last novel, 'The Biographer's Mishap', was published in September
1995. We are lucky he took time out of his attempt to break the American black rap scene to come
sail for DIT.

Dave Egan

Current puppeteer 22 world champion of the galaxy, this well spoken Howth native is still looking to
follow in the footsteps of fellow puppeteer 22 legend, ALAN BLAY “former 2007 slut of the year” by
also losing his virginity at varsities, you know where to go girls!!

17
Thomas Duke

A simple man with simple needs (buy low, sell high), Thomas likes the finer things in life, like when
people spell his name correct “Thomás”, doesn’t mind being refered to as a tank engine. Is said to
be the next big thing in twin entertainment, along with Twin brother Eoghan, plans to be the next
Jedward, except called “Jewward”

Darren “has a hot sister” Burke

Pampers baby, need I say more!

Marty “misses Nin” O’Leary

18
All his life Marty has been landing on his feet, that is except the time when he landed on his
shoulder, or the seven times he landed on his teeth. Or that time he broke his elbow jumping over
his team to win a dance off. Or at the varisites 2 years ago when he landed in the water. Or that time
he crashed into a jogging Rocky Elsom a week before the Heineken Cup final and wrote off his car.

Richard “Brutal” Bruton

This mysterious man is DIT Fearless leader, although he doesn’t sail ever, maybe to do with his new
found love of swan-diving into the ground face first. He hasn’t been quite the same since, his
imaginary friends, such as Chrevamath his noble steed and Mattallan the guard triceretops, seem to
have doubled. Has also been known to dislocate his shoulder skirting a jib. GENIUS OR IDIOT?

Edinburgh First VI

19
Name- Mark Powell

Nick names- Prowler, Tony, Tony Prowl

Age- 37

Interests- Exercise, Maths, sailing, young boys

Last years IUSA achievement- Pulling Katie Dolan

Enjoys-Rimming

Status- super duper single

Name- Rob Friend

Nick names- Rob TK ( rob The Knob)

Interests- Geography, avoiding pulling women, fibro gel

Last years biggest achievement- getting a first in his geography degree….really? what a waste of
time!

Has been described as-A a gay icon

20
Status- single but not interested

Name- Isobel Walker

Nick names- Rhubarb, Fat Slut

Interests- Moaning , archaeology, Sneakers, flopping, moaning

Last years IUSA achievement- Passing out face down in the toilet before the main course was served
at the ball.

Status- Taken but negotiable after several vodkas

Name- Mark Taylor

Nick names- Trap, NOISE

Interests- Making as much noise as possible, Watching (dirty) films. Favourites include one man one
screwdriver and one man one jar.

Last years biggest achievement- Eating a whole table spoon of cinnamon . Anyone got any
cinnamon?

Current romance- Juliet

Name-Cameron Steele

Nick names- Camalar, Gay Rex

Mental age-8

Interests- Being negative, Tattoos

Once- Received a hand job in a boat park by a solid 3/10

Last years IUSA achievement- Irish slut of the year 2009, showing the whole bus his toby

Status- Riddled and taken

Name-George Clark ( Captain)

Nick names- The animal, Guns McGee, Tower of Power

Age- 20

21
Interests-Cheerleaders from Glasgow, Toothless women from Dundee

Once- Had a 6some with girls aloud while wrestling a crocodile

Last years IUSA achievement- pissing in a lift in a hostel

Status- Well hung and available

Supporters

Cat/Jules- The unstoppable duo hit up IUSA again. Be prepared for more bad chat and poor fancy
dress.

22
NUIG SC

23
 Hetty Sanders If you can’t get on with this lovable girl
your an absolute wanker! AKA Mathew Murphy and
Rob Mc Ternan. The word Hetty is sometimes used in
the gay community to describe breeders while doing
something stereotypically heterosexual - man acting
masculine, girl overly flirtatious with a male. Used by
angry gays like me to confuse straight guys. Hetty
usualy depicts 'stupid straight guy’. “Damn he is
hot, he is hetty though.. Fucking hetties will eat
anything that smells like fish!” This Dergie is as
mad as a bag of hats! Watch the Fuck Out!

Frank The Tank turns out

hes not a tank after failing to down a jug of rum and coke (mostly coke).
Came out of the closet in kilrush where he met kev and jumped straight
back in there. His youthful face has been destroyed by years of chain
smoking and sheep shagging to the point where it now looks like a bucket
of smashed crabs... The down stairs variety. Never checked the weather
for Wexford and ended up face down in a bush pissing himself in a
hurricane.

24
 Ben Number 35 was welcomed into the club with
open arms by first destroying his ego and then ruining
his sailing skills. He can score any girl in the club... and
then he met Lisa. A true love affair blossomed until
he realised he loved her boyfriend more than her!
Sorry man no 3some tonight! Bens rocking the Owen
Wilson look with his nose broken in a million different
places... Thanks Seanie! Hey Ben tip for life: DONT
JOCK LISA AGAIN!

Eoghan (The Cunt) this beautiful city boy always is well

groomed... Especially his cock! He’s been the latest victim of
spoons but Dr Spoons sorted him right out! Loyalty means
nothing to this Eoin Quig lookalike. Eoghan does not
appreciate when people come inside him he is definitely a pull
out kind of guy! At the last Cork week this superstar managed
to pull of the Switcheroo in the s

Ollie Is attracted to everything red... especially fire

extinguishers! Bold Ollie! He became a member of the Dead
Hand Gang and has never looked back since. The clever
nickname Jollie was doled out when he fell victim to our
resident climber. He has never forgotten his mother’s wise
words... You can go swimming but always wear your
rubber! This proud English man never leaves home without
his sache and his “legally owned” Irish passport. Ollie has
never been able to find a shadow or ever seen his own
reflection, although he did once receive 3 rd degree burns
from Holy water.

25
Orla can throw a mean right hook if u grind
her gears! A certain umpire formally from
NMCI can vouch for that not naming any
names...

Emma “don’t get with anyone at an event, avoid them like the plague” Mc Locked. Way to practice
what you preach Emma! This 4th yr came into the club with a bang, and left in style this year with 4
bangs! Bedding a UCD first year four times on Saturday night after a none to lonely Friday night
either... coughFRANKcough!

Joan or as the new spelling goes Jeoghan, has taken her

pick of the boys in NUIG and is now hoping to broaden
her horizon. She is like a malteser brown on the outside ,
but she will always be a blondy on the inside. Her
beloved festy died this year but it was quickly replaced
with the new love of her life a ’01 Corsa... The only car in
the world whose wing mirrors don’t fucking bend in!
WTF! Is it the stress or her 300 hundred years that are
causing those white hairs to sprout? One thing is for sure
she’s not stressed!

26
 Avril Ní Mhathúna has a difficult to pronounce second
name, the English way of pronouncing her name goes
something like ‘muff hunter’. Lives in Finit so the sesh is in
her gaff this time! One def. of "Avril" is the month "April"
in the French language. If you have one of those songs in
your head but you can’t remember the name.....who you
gonna call.....AVRIL!!!

Faoite.... where to start,

maybe that firstly as
everyone should know....he shaves his balls. After having a fantastic
relationship with a brilliant girl, he seems to of left her to go fish. But
with his disappointment he has come to realised that there are also
plenty of whales out there too. He got very angry with Eoghan at the
last training sesh for not pulling out, and ever sense he’s found it
difficult look him in the eye. Prefers pubes to tooth paste(thank you
Jamie) . Also he owes me and Hetty about 3 weeks rent......dick! Oh
and every1 can’t wait cos his sister Aoife is coming to NUIG next
year...woop woop!!!

Dave HIT PUBERTY!... We think. Constantly on the prowl he is beating the girls away or at least his 3
day no shower rule is! All that put aside Dave’s life is SOOO funny! As it turns out it is still just as
dangerous as last year to drive with him… Who says sense comes with age? Then again what age is
Dave? Either his mom has been injecting him full of Botox or he really is only 14... Maybe some lucky
girl could volunteer to take one for the team and find out?...

27
Mags doesn’t know the meaning of noise, speaks Spanish way too much and expects you to
understand what she is saying. Has started to go running at 8 o’ clock in the morning and is twice as
happy when she gets back… Unfortunately its morning time Mags! If you like watching tv.... I’d
advise u don’t....well with Mags… especially if its skins! Makes some good chilli do!

Aidan this fine sailor heralds from GBSC were tails of his
success are know all over the world. This champion of men
once sailed on puma’s ‘il Mostro ’ oh wait shit, that was his
younger brother. He also holds in his trophy cabinet GBSC
junior helm of the year award two years running, three
years bow man on ‘Thats life’ and one year skippering an
SB3. Nice Aidan we all aspire to be as good as you one day!
He also got the part of a gay drug dealer who had a
threesome with a black professor on the college radio......
well we don’t aspire that much....

Lisa where’s the pants in the Club and when someone

tries to jock her when she is buttering her toast there
nothing left except for the sound of BOOM to fill the
room! She was hoping to broaden her sexual
experiences, but after being refused the option of a
threesome with Ben her chances of expanding her
sexual vocabulary were crushed.

Marky We Did It! We found out why he’s

so small! Ever noticed how Mr. Mischief
suddenly disappears after the pub? It’s
that classy girlfriend of his sucking his
juices so he’s constantly dehydrated!

28
This captain of cool has mastered the gangster lean and it has been said that he showed
Chimillionaire how to ride dirty! Oh and that’s Elaine in the photo!

Ciara is quite small. Her older, very protective cousin has

warned her to keep away from boys in general but she’s a
sneaky minx! Although apparently one of them didn’t
count “cause it was only like 5 seconds”. Ciara has been
having private meetings with her lecturer about
attendance, it makes you wonder how far a person will go
to pass? From the suburbs of Sligo to the suburbs of corrib
village, one wouldn’t want to mess with a cousin to be of
Elaine Farrell’s.

Connell The only Dergie to join us this year and like most
he has not been a disappointment... Well at least scandal
wise! He has found a novel hiding place for his booze... IN
MY BELLY! Didn’t waste any time to get on the circuit
with the ladies. ( big thank you to UCD for providing us
with someone who was as drunk as he was). Also he has
an AMAZING scar from when he rescued a bag of
drowning kittens from a swordfish... Ladies...

Tom Coyne, single and born on the 16th of May

1990. His favourite quotes are ‘your momma so old
her breast milk is powder’ and ‘it smells like
bigfoot’s dick’. He’s too modest to talk about
himself; his motto in life is ‘save a wave ride a
surfer’. All interested parties please email
[email protected] or ring 087-2822745.

29
 Deirdre Lectures instead of training? GET YOUR
FUCKING PRIORITIES STRAIGHT! Deirdre picked up
a boyfriend pretty early on in her first year and yes
we know... PDA’s are a big part of that
relationship... Her natural habitat is sucking face!
She always carries some vics nasal spray with her
because breathing through the nose is a big part of
this relationship!

Louis loves smoken the whugiflipper. More of a

player than Flaver Flav, and with a hectic
schedule of jumbling around 3 girl friends at the
one time he lives to his name. This blonde small
look alike of Joan Mulloy’s doesn’t mind getting his
hands dirty when it comes to destroying murder
evidence......the poor fox didn’t know what hit
him. After a hard day of playin the field Louis
doesn’t like anything more than to chillax with a
cold refreshing ‘Turbo G’.

Will Likes to be the centre piece in the room...

Especially when naked! But don’t worry he just
kept on trooping even with an audience of 12
people! Some of his favourite pastimes are

30
hunting and being a racist... A big fan of being a dickhead, we feel that Will would have felt more at
home in Trinity.

Sammon Yeh he’s still here it’s like trying to get rid
of AIDs... He is quickly becoming the Duggan of
NUIG and for some fucked up reason is proud of it,
go figure... Wee James still comes down to college
every weekend but due to girlfriend restraints has
quite a hard time leaving the bedroom...We think
he’s been taking a few too many tips from Elaine!

Scottish Universities
Sailing Association
S U S A – ’09 - ’10

The SUSA team this year is made up of six strapping seamen:

Will, Woody, Alex, Butters, Gav and Niall all from the University of BOOM, Boom Town.

31
 Name: Will

Backstory:

Has the unfortunate honour of SUSA Captain this

year. Can be found bumping and grinding on the D
floor, he also enjoys a good motor-boat.

Name: Woody

Sexual preference: Ruth.

Backstory: A loveable dirty perve. Safe.

Name: Alex Ekström

Backstory: Off the water Alex acts like he does on the

water: Backs himself with pace, so ladies strap in and
feel the Gs of this Nordic Raider.

32
 Name: Butters

Backstory: A man whom all other men admire and

want to be. All women fall at his feet and beg to be
taken by him. Hero.

Name: Gavlar (left)

Backstory: A young chavvy Glaswegian guy, who

loves a good pork nudging. However is now off the
market (sorry boys) due to getting serious with his
new BF (Cammy ‘Gay Rex’ Steele) from the Edinburgh
team.

Name: Niall

Personal Ad: Seeking clunge, preferably within the

ages of 15-menopause, into piercings, limbs are a
bonus.

p.s. George…. Nothing.

33
 UCD
Sailing
Club
Eoin “I’ve been around for so long it’s about time I made
Commodore” Duggan

Voted in through pity, this Commodore is living up the

reputation of previous Commodore’s by making sure he has a
UCD bird at his assistance(Alyson Rumball), Since Joining the
medics over in Health sciences buildings he has become
appealable to another UCD Lady(Katie Curtain)……. Also since
moving from the buff hole of the engineering building “
there’s like only 11 people 4m Dublin in my whole class” to
the upper class Health sciences building Eoin is Morphing
into the rest of the doc’s in UCDSC……Eoin is most likely to be
Heard at varsities either asking where the sesh is? Or listening

34
 Donal “can’t use a Johnny right” Murphy

This strawberry blonde (GINGER) stud, obviously

built up his stamina with the boys on the rowiding
team but not satisfied with his lust for buggery, He
thought he would try his luck with the Ucdsc girls,
but after two unsuccexful attempts ( Caitriona and
Caroline) , he moved Westside to the looser ladies.
Donal was last seen in Kilrush with a Galway girl
(Pregnant) showing him how to use a condom!!!
However she obvo didn’t teach him that well as one
innocent bystander found out as they walked in to
find condoms strewn across the room, butts in the
air and an unbearable smell of GACK!! This Ucd
male jigalo/ stripper/ prossy Is definitely are vote

Aidan “ don’t ya knooow Im from

Coirk boi?” Mc Lavertory

Aidan’s been homesick for his

Rory “ THE SECRET beours down in Cork since stranded
SLUT” Murphy in Dublin after The Flood. This
Cork boi was so lonely up here in
If he isn’t going after his Dublin that he had to get his ould
brothers ambitions or wan to move up with him. Some
secretly getting close to his people can’t handle big cities!! Most
crew’s (Marty watch out!!), likely to be seen going for “extra
he is dressing up as a sexy curricular” training with Shar….is
skin tight she wolf to show that a baby firefly I see?? Aidan’s
off his body that is reputation for the maul has
disimproving yearly…….” diminished due to his love for the
Did u know that in 1st year I natural Cork beauty. We hope to see
was under the average of Name: Christine “ Doddy is sooo like bringingchanges
me to the america’s
in this area atcup”
Varsity’s…or
15% body fat”……. Most Lynch both the girls and boys will be
likely to be seen at varsities getting worried..!
trying to grab a women WOULD LIKE TO MEET: Tall, single, boy/girl, with GSOH, preferable
over the legal age (not essential)! Preferable some1 who isn’t related
(CATHAL Thats u out!!! And u JOAN!!) .

ENJOY’S: speaking in an American accent, jetting off around the world to

Yachting events with Doddy, Raving, Hockey SOCIAL”S with all the
girls …..OMFG!!! 35
Somebody kiss me ASAP!!!!!!
 Jodie “Car crash” Jane Tingle

After a recent four day bender Jodie attempted to drive 5 minutes down the road
and earned the ultimate 100 points by running over a nun, pushing a buggy
before mounting the curb and destroying Mr. Big and Tall (So if Jim Devlin is
seen at varsities in rags we all know it’s because the only clothes shop in Dublin
that will sell him clothes is closed for a refurbishment) and anyone who has got
caught at the recent road works at the goat....U know who to blame!!

Lover’s Corner

WE are currently very worried These new kids on the block

for Ellen as Kev seems to be have been sighted sneaking into
moving closer and closer to a the UCD boat shed and pulling
sex change every event. This down the roller…. (our sources
tell usfor
Fiona “Are u Reddy they
theheard that’s the
next event? way
“ Gallagher
I like it MR boatman), but will
thisss honest whesssstport
laddd, pass the test of Mr. and
Mrs. Halpenny and gain access
through the doors of Chloe’s
Mount Merrion Mansion??
These two are most likely to be
seen at varsities Smhoking
Drinking Fighting and shifting,
who let this d4 princess wild on
the Feint Country side!!!

Mary Lucey
“how long
will it take
her to get into
her next
helm”Lucey

36
Dublin Lads change began with ages ….. So will Kerry be his
a onzieeeeeeeeee and pleads for home run?? Or just when he
some1 to do his make-up, and gets to meet the parents, Our
last event he slipped into some sources reveal that Aisling’s
sexier spandex 4 Ellen’s parents have the dress picked
enjoyment ……but how long out and we are all looking
will she stick with him……till forward to a return journey to
the op??These two are most Kerry in 2011, for the first
likely to be seen at varsities UCDSC wedding, but what will
going at it Westport style!!! come first the Marriage or the
(slhutss) baby in the golden carriage!!
After conversing with the
Kinsella’s and the Carney’s we
have got two baby pictures and
made a morph of the future
child!! Kinsella is most likely to
be seen at varsities getting
condom advice from Donal!!!
Danielle “No sex till I’m
married” Vincent

This Virgin Mary may be

saving herself, but boy is she
some heart breaker. One recent
ex was so devastated when she
ran off with his best friend that
he had to emigrate to
Australia…..actually this is
quiet a pattern with Dani’s
EX’s…… So at varsities there
will be a chip around for

Gillian “ anyone wanna toke of this “

Anne “I’mNick
like “soooooooooo
I’m the best alternative”
team racer inCollins
Ireland” Harger Condy

So Anne’s normal day consists of going round listening to alternative radio

Our resident stations like
Rastafarian, phantom FM,
is most
when really we all know she was born in Terenure, she grewlikely up in to
Terenure, She met her Husband at the
be seen at varsities napping
local sweet shop in Terenure, Love at first sight, he bought her Peggy’s leg, she got married
with FBR in the car, while everyone and had 37 4
children AND NOW SHE LIVES IN TERENURE!!!! Ann Collins is most
else is out likely to be social
racing……The seen atside
varsities
Shar “ thelistening
sitting only time we have seenmusic”
to “alternative a smilesuch
on her face thisSpears
as Britney year or correcting people who sing the dubbed
to sailing is just way too much for
is version
when she of is sailing
LICK MY with Aidan”
BACK, MYQuigley
PUSSY AND MY CRAIC!!! me!
 Katie “My boobs are so big my back hurts” Curtain

This saucy nurse renowned for letting us know how much better nurses
are than doctors certainly doesn’t mind giving them a go!! A true bossy
boots at the events (nearly got in a fist fight with Matty) she is living up to
be a true reincarnation of her brother John Curtain aka Hitler. After been
elected accommodation officer Katie makes sure everyone’s sleeping
arrangements suit her (there will be Katie and all the lads in house 1)……
Katie is most likely to be seen at varsities getting her tits out for the lads!!!

Elaine “husband beater” Lee-Lang Farrell

This wild Sligo lassie is an infamous husband beater. She’s such a knacker, she was
recently barred from Quinn for offering to suck the lecturer off for an A. One recent
such event involved being kicked out of Coppers for mistaking the boys bathroom for
girls..Always remember to knock twice before entering her room at events ,the sight
within has blinded many. Most likely to be found romping with Markey and wearing
very little.

Alyson “I scored the commodore and I’m proud of it” Rumball

Alyson has a little bit of a thing for people in authority as we all witnessed her statement
at the last event “ You know like when your Swimming coach starts fiddling with you in
the shower”…NO Alyson we don’t…STROKE, STROKE, STROKE,STROKE!!!

Matthew “ bad boy” Murphy

Since getting rejected from the priesthood, this Murphy has

turned into UCDSC’s resident bad boy. From passing out under
a firefly in Wexford to strolling through the streets of Schull
half naked, there’s nothing this Northener won’t do. He was
unable to attend Western’s as he had to attend to all the needs
and wishes… of his broken-armed other half…..

Barry “Just because I speak nordie, doesn’t mean I’m not Irish” Mc Cartin

38
 QuickTime™ and a
decompressor
are needed to see this picture.

Andy “ I have a girlfriend I swear” O Donoghue

After he got burned by Anne at last year’s varsities, Andy returned home to safer
pastures of the Rebel County to search for a bride. Andy is so scared that somebody
will rob his one and only that he has taken up Christine’s strategy of the secret GF.
Does she exist?? Andy is most likely to be seen getting run over by cars , or waking
up the morning after the night before in Vincent’s A&E…wondering who the
fooooook brought him there!!!!

Simon “good at everything but holding my booooooooozzzzze” Doran

After Mary got sick of carrying him home, he was sent to Christine who whipped
him into shape…..yet still this ladies man needs to learn a thing or two……about
sailing obviously!!! Most likely to be seen at varsities looking for the only ally in
Fenit to get sick in!!!!

39
 UL Sailing Club

Billy Clarke

Pa Hegarty

Kevin Stallard

40
Lucy Fitzgerald

Darragh O’Connor

Rachel Cronin

41
Shane Newman

Rachel O’Brien

Cian Gallagher

42
KKKatie Pringle

Peadar O’Sullivan

43
Conor Martin

Lucy Fitzgerald

Is most likely to be seen frolicking around with Conor Martin at events. The two of them live in a
world of their own, full of fantasy and make believe. Lucy’s finest moments had to be when she
asked Conor in Schull was that a thing for hitting horses he had in his hand (a tiller extension) and
when she asked Tingle was she eating caviar in her breakfast roll. It was indeed black pudding. Not
the sharpest tool in the box but we still love our little Lucy.

Billy Clarke

Is most likely to be seen at events giving out to Pa, eating far more than required or moaning about
something in general. Billy thinks he is Superman. In fact we know he is Superman. Falling off
balconies at SYWoC three stories high is no bother to him. Anyone else would have died but not
Billy. He has since used this as his chat-up line to impregnate young and innocent UCC girls. It seems
to have worked so far. High-five Bill.

Patrick Hegarty

Is most likely to be seen getting abuse from Billy or else passed out somewhere from drinking too
much Crimson gin. Pa’s best trait is being able to delegate........

KKKatie Pringle

Katie Pringle is usually found in the most random place. This girl has a mind of her own that takes
her places you would least expect. Katie thinks that kettles boil at different temperatures.

Darragh O’Connor

44
Can be found teaching knacks in Dublin. This year it seems that Darragh has forgotten he once had
an anger problem and has calmed slightly on the water. Now that he has a real job..yuck..this will be
his final year and we bid him farewell. He has done enormous work for the club and we will miss the
African dearly.

Kevin Stallard

Once told Lucy to ‘fuck off’, how could he?

Cian Gallagher

Can be found rallying around in the club’s Sprinter. At SYWoC, a search party was sent out for Cian
on the last day as we thought he had been killed. It turned out he had scored. This fella is mad for
holding bricks at ransom so be careful.

Shane Newman

Claims he is 22 when trying to score older members of UL when really he is only 19.

Peadar O’Sullivan

Peadar likes malaria and he straightens his pubes hourly underneath falling couches. He felt
arachnophobia in his anal (what college is he in?) cavity mayonnaise mountain sprinkled generously
over Shane Newman’s sheep frequently. Once he encountered UCD’s irresponsible staggering
chimneys he ate a Dick (McGlade) vigorously while conversing with a packet of nuns sealed in foil for
freshness. He also attends Mary’s Whispering Eye, the fag!

Rachel Cronin

Rachel “the racist” Cronin has found it hard to live up to last years toilet incident put has tried her
heart out by shouting racial slurs at ethnic minorities from her car!! However, what happens in
France….;) Reportedly she was actually the one who pushed Billy from the balcony, still waiting for
video evidence though!! Enjoys heavy bondage which led to one unfortunate predicament involving
a tree, a scary man and some good reef knots!! Luckily, she poo’d herself and the Gardai sniffer dogs
found her in a few hours!! She flew to the moon twice on a big cat. Eats diamonds to fuel her bowel
movements. Wears strange socks that light up during the full moon. Also known as the violent drunk
of UL Sailing Club!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Conor Martin

Conor Martin’s superpower is undoubtedly the power of costume. Glimpsed briefly in a garden
themed suit before blending into Galway City’s foliage he also has the unique ability to actually
understand Lucy, a feat which is rather handy! In a more recent display of costume ingenuity Conor
took the many uses of cling film to new heights by using it to display his sculpted physique and his
large collection of plastic bottles, cans and pub stools. Kudos to Conor and his wonderful chocolate
biscuit cake! Be warned, it is literally impossible to piss Conor off, he even enjoys the company of
Jess Guy, something that reduces most people to fits of unintelligible rage.

45
Rachel O’Brien

Rachel, I must ask you a question. Are you really Ronnie Drews identical twin????? NO no, I joke.
She’s been an ambassador for the club for a long number of years. When she’s not “already winning
the varsities”, or surfing through the expansive collection of lady videos on RedTube, she can be
found hunting for bendy objects in Chinese forests!!! In all seriousness though. This could (who
knows) be Rachel’s last event. She will be remembered fondly, kindly, (erotically by DOC) for her
time with the club for giving shed loads of effort, farting like a bull and kissing girls. POOOOOOO!!!!
Good luck and god speed!!! Here’s to you Ronnie Drew, here’s to you!!

46
 With the National
Maritime College of
Ireland being a Nautical
College, and the only
one in Ireland, it would
seem natural to have a
sailing club. The sailing
club is reasonably new,
and only been here
since 2007/2008.
Unlike most Colleges,
It is hard for us to keep
the same people
involved, year in, year
out. The sailing club is
extremely lucky and
thankful for the
fantastic facilities we
have here in
Ringaskiddy. Our own
slip, a nice shelter area
for sailing, a jetty that
helps with quick
changeovers, rescue boat and space for our boats, and of course great changing facilities. The
Club started up again, with Stephen Higgins as chairperson in September. We had 40 students
signed up. But as the months went past people started to head back to sea. So in December,
we got a new commodore Rob Obrien, and then it happened again! So third time lucky and 4
months left in the college semester, we start all over again with a new committee. As we are a
small club, we are trying very hard to keep afloat. This past year we have had a very
successful table quiz night, to help raise funds for refurbishment of our Larks.
The club has enjoyed the involvement in the intervarsity, every trip away has seen a different
group of people going, which has kept the spirit up in the club. It is also is a reward for the
hard work that has been seen since September. The Larks were in a bad condition, but we
have 4 on the water, and maintenance is constant.
As a sailing club, we have a ethos, that we welcome people who have never been on the
water before. Thankfully the club has a number of sailing instructors, so this has helped this
work. We did a lot of training, ( twice a week) up till Christmas. This was mainly possible for
the location of our sailing club.
As the evenings are beginning to stretch again, we are hoping the sailing club, and our sessions on the
water and in the class room will continue up till the exams, so we can continue to enjoy the fun, and
team spirit we have had all year.

Stephanie Keohane & Hannah Logan

Joint Chairpersons

47
 Trinity Sailing Club
David White

Sadly, there are no life guards at the gene

pool, and young David is certainly
drowning. In years gone by it has been
common place to site the crippling
dyslexia that this young man struggles
with every day, but that would be unfair.
To constrain attention to just one of his
failings would be neglectful. Having
failed Accounting 101 in BESS Whiteser
has now been appointed as Treasurer of
Trinity Sailing Club (count every penny
coming from TCD). In his spare time
David has taken up a hobby of public
exhibitionism, and can frequently be seen
conducting explicit acts of a sexual nature throughout the Arts block in Trinity.

And while this may mean he has himself a ball and chain, you never know if
you might make your weekend get lucky with Mr. White, and given his
penchant for rough anal sex, he may just make your hole weak!

48
Eoin “small spoon” Blaney

Once known to be happy to sup

from the milk of the breast of any
guise, Captain Blaney has risen the
ranks of Trinity Sailing Club,
while defying every tradition of
the Queen’s College – the staunch
Protestantism, the passive
acceptance of homosexuals, and a
requirement of hailing from within
the pale. Now a veteran of the
college sailing circuit, Blaney’s
just in it for the smelly fingers
(think, the smell at the Nassau entrance). An ardent racist, aggressive gay
basher and sexual predator, Eoin Blaney may just make this your lucky night.

Jake Mealy

Forbes Magazine named Jake Mealy in its top 5 least

inspirational people of the past
decade. It’s easy to overlook just
how much of a wanker this
individual is. With the departure
of Simon “it’s my ball and I’m
going home” Rhattigan and
Geoff “insert racial slur” Tait,
Jake has looked to fill a void left in the indecency
of this institution. With his coarse farmer boy
looks and ungodly odour, Jake is to the sailing
circuit what a bad case of thrush is to a young lady
– an irritating cu

49
nt.

With a face like a smacked arse and hair as red as hell (look closely he dyes it)
Jake has little or nothing in the way of positive attributes. His contraceptive
personality mean that he has more haters than Tiger Woods has mistresses,
forever ensuring that there’s still a fine reason for everyone to hold just a little
contempt for Trinity college.

Brendan Rowan

Brendan is a toughie. Adopted from Chernobyl he has weird calves,in recent

years the radiation has also spread to his brain. He often mistakes himself as a
hit with the ladies and can be heard loudly proclaiming that anyone in the
vicinity fancies him. The ones he scores are traditionally bet down and heavily
medicated (not of their own doing.) His crowning achievement in life, read: his
only achievement in life, is that he once broke a girls coccyx doing her in the
brown. A recurring theme in trinity sailing as it turns out. See: McCormack,
Morgan and McSweeney, Stu

Sarah ‘Skin’ Ebrill

Thinks she’s male and black. She’s not. Obviously. Don’t really know
much about her as I’ve never understood a single word she’s said. Her lack of
drinking this year has made her a social pariah and therefore no one wants to
know her, or even cares who she is. Alreet sahn?!

Ben Mitchell

Editor of the Law Review. Shameless committee hack. Never heard of

him? Well who the fuck are you anyway? Known to be eager to get the cock out
this weekend he’s also partial to a bit of scwafalling. His enthusiasm for the
sport knows no bounds and his holy grail of targets: The Roy Sisters face.

Davie Carr

50
Widely portrayed as an all round nice guy, fighting Obama for Time’s Man of
the Year. We want to announce today that this is a lie. Davie Carr is in fact the
symbol for all evil in the world today. He has been implicated in so many sex
scandals that its been reported Joey Fritzels final request was to high-five Davie
Carr. The sole cause for the Irish Recession something he denies. The caretakers
of Trinity queried his request to have three cages installed in his office. He told
them to fuck off. He’s also be known to dabble in Suicide Bombing at the
weekends.

Stu “Brown Out” McSweeney

Worried at the end of last season that we would be short a cunt, what with the
departure of Simon and Geoff, Trinity Sailing have had our salvation in the
delightful Stu McSweeney. He’s arrogant, enjoys placing his finger in dark
holes, and remarkably loud. American in other words. And this is why he’s our
cunt to watch in 2010. His claim to fame is browning out and he is often heard
threatening anyone who goes near Ruth Morris with “fucking them up.” As
gentle souls we don’t quite know what he means but we find him a delight.

Seb “Chuckles” Bailey

Decided not to run for Ents Officer this year. Apparently Trinity couldn’t
handle that level of fun.

Abby “Blabby” Burke

Has crawled on all fours up through the ranks of DUSC, ultimately

reaching our esteemed (but disappointingly short-cocked) captain. Some say she
only did it for the “power position”, at which Blaney excels, despite his
disadvantage. However she is also in prime position for marriage to a doctor
(Oz) and an engineer (Davie). I feel a sitcom coming on!

Rachael Flood

Some advice if you ever want to have a conversation with Rachael that
doesn’t end in violence. Don’t call her British. Don’t call her a pixie. Don’t

51
make fun of hunger strikes. Seriously… she’s a vicious little sod. Sources say
she is on the pull after a recent break up. Qualities she finds attractive in men:
Dislexia and a hairless face. Committee member optional.

Conor “Abs” O’Brien

According to the hotel manager in Kilkee, Conor’s was the cleanest and
yet the filthiest room after the weekend. i.e. Conor had a lot of sex. With
Claudia. He had a point, I mean the smell of gack out of that room was
powerful.

Jamie Carton

LADIES! A WORD OF WARNING! DO NOT, UNDER ANY

CIRCUMSTANCES, STAND WITHIN 4 FEET OF CARTON AS HE WILL
GET YOU PREGNANT.

Ronan “Jackhammer” Murphy

Ronan is proud of his nickname. If you see him walking towards you
wearing earmuffs, goggles and a hi-vis, get ready for the most traumatising
sexual experience of your life. He will break you. Just ask Meadvbh.
Splashback!

Claire Murphy

Everyone’s favourite 3rd wheel, Claire has patience. Some say she’s been
stalking the same guy on the sailing circuit for two years now. No one knows
who he is but she’s gonna get him. It won’t be pretty. There’s a lot of pent up
sexual aggression there. I feel sorry for the poor fucker.

Luke “Blue” Finnegan

52
 Famed for beginning his conversations with girls with the words “Clunge,
Luke. Luke, clunge”. Luke’s secret to success is a sympathetic pharamacist
who seems to be constantly overstocked on Vitamin R. Ironically, he’s actually
a really cool guy and could easily get girls without resorting to date rape drugs.
But he says that lifting unconscious girls back to his lair is doing wonders for
his guns. In fact sometimes the drugs work against him, in Schull Sarah was so
doped up that she wouldn’t even let Blue rub her with his leg. Bitch.

Colm Core 

Hes down on our team roster but no one knows who he is or what he looks
like??mystery man on the circuit! 
 

Mc Lovin 

Nice guy, general all-rounder but better known for dominating the self
proclaimed slut of the year of the ’09 season, Rachel Guy, in Terryglass! 
 

Chris O’ Reilly 

Never have I ever had a wank over Chris’ mom……..Drink now or else your
just lying!!! 
 

Alice Wyse-Jackson 

Jakes Bitch. Wanked Conor O’Brien on a Dancefloor. ‘Nuff said. 

 

Meadbh Dickson 

An absolute fucking lout. This woman could be classed as schizophrenic as she

possesses two personalities. The bambiesque, meek sailor who finds trouble
with uttering the word hello on a normal day and the loutish, leading member of
the Henry Cellars Appreciation Society who torments the members of IUSA
with her sherry induced antics, claiming “she made the BBC!!” 
 

Alistair Cornelous Archbald Kissane III

53
This trinty ‘socialite’ has taken 3 years to pluck up the courage to join the
sailing team and now that he has people are scared of the lethal mix of alcohol
and steroids, this ‘Strong Man’ has been reported to rip off his shirt and lunge at
anything that would talk to him …therefore no one talks to him, except for one
Ms. D. Starr. Chooses his crew strictly on her quick hands and jip work (not a
typo) he is most certaintly our favourite drunken, sleazy mess!

When asked to take off his shirt off after the first event by a msterious female 

Also known for excessive drinking and roids problem  

 

Holly ‘sweet cheeks’

This “girl” has only attended one college racing event but has started racking up
the numbers like a pro…. This eunuch has been compared to such greats as Jess
and Rachel Guy, if given the time and opportunity would climb mount Everest
just to put something in her …. While shouting ‘any holes a goal’ 
 
 
 

Claudia Walker

When the subject was raised about her relationship status she commented
“Conor O’Brian Is banging the ring’s out of me”. She then went on to say that
the perminant limp she now carries will always remind her of room 222 in
kilkee. The idea of a couple smoking after sex has severly damaged this poor
girls health after being caught going to the shop after being in Wexford for only
15 minutes with a carton of 200 cigrettes under her arm while having 1 in her
mouth …and were not talking about a cigrette (talking about a Penis) ….. this
‘women’ has reportedly been seen hanging up side down while feasting on
newly born babies, we feel that this has given her 

George Tetley

A born and bred protestant landlord rumoured to be the heir of Geoff Tait’s
Protestantism. You might recognise him for his famous surname. While his
grandfather Archibald Tetley III fought hard to make his name famous by
making quality teabags. George is adamant he’ll make teabags famous in their

54
own right. A master craftsman at teabagging he’s known to be well practised in
his trade often demonstrating to Meadhbh (Dick-son) the ins and outs of a good
tea bag. Oxford and Cambridge applied to him to come to their “Universitys.”
He turned them down both because they weren’t posh enough and because he
wanted to make like great-grandaddy and plant the emerald isle. When asked to
name his hero he replies instantly: Oliver Cromwell. See, we told you, Geoff
Tait.

Isabelle + Morgan “The Twin Towers” McCormack

How fucking tall are these two? Seriously, what the fuck? Do they not have
some sort of screening process to get into this grand institution. If so can we
please add giantitis to the criteria. Isabelle tries to put forward an image as a
puritan and an innocent soul. The reality is that she gives Jenna Jameson a run
for her money. She is shameless in pursuit of a cheeky ride, and with the recent
addition of Morgan her depravity has only got worse. Their sheets in Kilkee
were suspiciously brown and while we’d never be one to spread rumours we did
see Morgan consulting with Stu earlier in the night. On top of that (or her) she
had him fake illness to keep Emily out of the room. The only thing young
Morgan was coming down with was her.

Suzi/Jill Roy

Are there actually two of them? Is Jill actually in Trinity? These are the
questions we faced at the beginning of this year. We’ve come to believe that
young Jill was bullied into attending Trinity so Suzi can maintain her
“allegiance” to the Queens College. The Roy’s sat up nights coming up with
this plan that will, in theory, finally help Suzi get Ben in her pants. Phase 2
starts this week. God Speed Ben.

Joey Fritzill

An all round nice guy, brought to our last meeting by Davie. He’s Class.

Emily Mitchell

A noobie to our team Emily joined the club late, taking the dangerous position
as Chris’s Crew. Chris has had more crews than you’ve had hot dinners, he even
55
turned the last one Lesbian. Emily is rumoured to have joined the club to
complete her rampant pursuit of the Blaney family. While there were legal
issues when Hugh (the oldest one) tried, Ruari succeeded where no Blaney had
gone before. Her appetite suitably whet (or is that wet?) she set about chasing
the whole clan. Joining the sailing club was the obvious next step towards
catching her next fix, Eoin. He’s down this weekend, go for it mitch.

56
 DCU Sailing Club 2010
Richie Carter a.k.a. Mitch, the guy who scored
Claire Boyle.
An oldie but a goodie Rich was the Daddy for the
year. Famous for his fancy cars, he has been known
to voluntarily don female attire at events, this years
favourite being his fantastic Scary Spice
impression in Schull, which resulted in him having
a “healthy” sun shimmer glow for the following
week...leopard skin never looked so good!!

Ronan Cull a.k.a. Henry, the Romeister, Some Goer. The token
Northside scumbag / slut of the team, famous for his amazing costumes
at events which so far this year have consisted of tucking his trackies
into his socks and putting his baseball hat at a 45 degree angle on his
head. “Whatcha mean, Whatcha mean??!!” - although it took some
time, these questionable tactics finally paid off and his long term crew
finally surcomed to his “charm”!? We can only imagine (and would
rather not) what has been going through his mind for the last 2 years as
he plotted how to make his move on the Blonde Bombshell!! Stamina
is key Ronan – Well done!

Shelley Ryan a.k.a. Baby Spice. This iron lady of organisation finally
gave in to the charms and fluttering eyelashes of her helm for the last 3
years – all that pent up lust eventually broke through into an illness
that left them ‘Bed ridden’ for most of Saturday evening in Kilrush!!
……. so who knows what’s been going on in between races in that
boat!?! Despite all this fraternizing with the opposite sex she still made
time for her lady friends in the car journey filled with the Glee
soundtrack and Vagina Monologue scripts! ………We would also like
to confirm that after her 21st it is clear that Shelley’s Mom, definitely

57
has it going on!!

Pam Lee a.k.a. Sporty Spice, Sean's bitch. Giving Ed a run for his
money, Pam is quite the little drinker and has been carried home on
more than one occasion (although rarely to our houses!!) Always the
trouper though, she still manages to get out sailing the next day without
emptying the contents of her stomach. Also the team member who likes
to wear the least amount of clothing on nights out and blame Byrno if
she “sleeps in”.

Ed Butler a.k.a. Two can Ed. Undoubtedly the man on the team with the
best dance moves, his infamous twists are regular requests at events. The
lightweight of the team. Threatened to sue the College magazine when
photos of him dressed as posh spice from Schull were published for all to
see. Has a tendency to walk into doors.

Sean Collins a.k.a. Danger Mouse. The only man

Pam will take orders from. Loves his apres sailing power spoons with
Ed. Fancies himself as a bit of a musician with his midnight busking at
events. Loves getting to know the lovely locals at events and tends to
leave a lasting impression and they tend to leave physical impressions
on him.

Joe Bourke a.k.a. She Wolf. A

new addition to the group he settled straight in with his
cross dressing ways, testicular slapping and Glee-ing
ways. The lead chanter of the group, he will always be
heard to roar...at least until his voice runs out!! Has been
known to ask female members of the team for dresses to
wear on nights out.

Katie a.k.a. Ginger Spice. The Druggie of the group, she doesn't even
need alcohol to get her head spinning when she has a handbag

58
stocked with goodies is frequently heard to say “They're perscription so they're EXTRA
strong!!” The only person on the planet to be allergic to fresh air an uses the excuse of
“strenuous activity” been harmful to her as a way to get out of sailing while hungover. Wants
to be from NUIG.

Suzanne Burke a.k.a. The Shooting Star. An employee of the Egyptian Mafia. Lost a tooth so
couldn't bear to show face in Kilrush, resulting in the recruitment of Alex. Initiated herslf
well at the first event by making good “friends” with the longest standing member of the
team!
Ryan Scott a.k.a. Pregnant Scumbag, Mini Meg, the dude from the video.
The new Ronan Cull to the team he decided to take the role of the bossy
member of DCU 2, whipping them all into shape. Tends to suffer from
short term memory loss after nights out.

Lynn Reilly a.k.a. The former Mommy of the group who

passed down her title this year when she disappeared off to
America for the first semester only rejoining us in Kilrush.
Usually her name comes in the form of “Where the hell is
Lynn?? Oh of course, she's in bed, sure where else would she
be..”
Rachel a.k.a. The Cooler Cull. She managed to fill her brothers shoes
quite well along with drinking him under the table and proved our
suspicions correct by showing us that no, Ronan, you do not
come from a knacker family so pull your pants out of your
socks.
Una McLaughlin. Rachel's other half the two ladies were
welcome additions to the group balancing out the male
dominance. Believes Clare is beside Donegal, even though she is from Donegal
and was once convinced by Joe that smurfs were based on a real blue tribe in
South America.

Peter Bisset a.k.a. The Panto King, the Joker, Peter and his
Mutlicoloured Spandex Wetsuit. Uses his team members as ways of

59
meeting women, then drops these said friends once he gets his tongue down their throats and
proceeds to bring the team mates friend back to his team mates house for a bit of sexy time.
The team mate was not impressed.

Alex Short a.k.a. Adam's right hand man, or was it his left
hand?? Al saved our asses when he quickly filled in at Kilrush
and settled in immediately, even spending his first weekend
holding hands with Adam. However, he was most respected for
managing to win his initiation task by somehow managing to
pull while physically attached to another
man. Legend.

Adam Davis a.k.a. The Kiwi. The dude with the best accent by far, his
Kiwi-ness made him an instant hit on the team. He formed a special
bond with Alex...and has the bump to prove it!

60
61