“Success or Failure is Usually a

Pattern in One's Life…”

7 Roadblocks
To Success
How to Make Success a Pattern in Your
Life Whether You Want to Make More
Money, Lose Weight, or Build Satisfying
Relationships

Andrew Bolis
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Welcome
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Introduction to the 7 Roadblocks to
Success
Take a few moments to answer the following questions by
reflecting on your current lifestyle and circumstance

• Are you successful financially or do you have credit

card debt and are living from paycheck to paycheck?
• How do you rate your love life? What about your sex
life? Is it fulfilling?
• What about your social life, are you the life of the
party or the outsider trying to sneak in?
• How much do you like your body shape? Is it satisfying
when you look in the mirror or are you feeling a little
ashamed of the extra pounds you have put on over the
past weeks, months, or years?
• Do you have a really exciting life? Do you often jump
out of bed and can't wait to start a new day?

Success or Failure is usually a Pattern in One's Life

Each time I meet a person who's very successful in one area of

his (or her) life, I keep noticing a reoccurring pattern. Usually he
is successful in several other areas of his life. Here is a related
article about how to become great and successful in any field.

Similarly, each time I meet a person who's a failure in one area

of his life, generally that failure seems to be a pattern
throughout other areas of his life.
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Now I must clarify, by failure I'm talking about a reoccurring
failure over at least months and years where there isn't any
progress, instead a lot of disappointment and even setbacks.

I'm a big believer of trying and failing until one succeeds

however this isn't the kind of failure I'm talking about in this
article.

A good example of what I mean by failure is someone who's

constantly getting a new job for 6 months and then quitting it
and repeating this for 3-4 years instead of maybe thinking he
needs to switch his career choice in the first place.

Another good example is someone who's trying to lose weight

who has been trying one diet after the other for 2-3 years now,
losing the pounds and putting them back on, instead of starting
to question if diets work in the first place.

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Table of Contents
Roadblock 1: Caring What Everyone Thinks....................... 7

Roadblock 2: Always Looking for a Shortcut Instead of Putting

in the Hard Work ..................................................... 11
Success only Raises the Quality of Your Life ............... 12
Always Wanting What You Don’t Have ...................... 14
What about the Secret Formulas that do Work?........... 15
Consistent Hard Work .......................................... 16
Hard Work Example ............................................. 17
Working Smart while Working Hard .......................... 18

Roadblock 3: Giving Up Too Quickly .............................. 19

1. Pursue Your Heart’s True Desires. ....................... 20
2. Do Not Confuse the Means with the Ends ............... 21
3. Do Not Give up Because of Laziness ...................... 22
4. Do Not Give up Because of Slow or Lack of Progress.. 22
5. Success is Closer than You Think. ........................ 23
6. Be Flexible & Willing to Change. .......................... 24
7. Start Visualizing. ............................................. 24
8. Add Emotions to Your Goals................................ 25
9. Regularly Review these Words of Calvin Collidge ...... 26

Roadblock 4: Living a Crappy Life................................. 27

1. Let fear control your life ................................... 27
2. Live for others validation................................... 27
3. Become a fan ................................................. 28
4. Think too much ............................................... 28
5. Stick to your little tribe..................................... 29
6. Have a closed mind .......................................... 30
7. Think inside the box......................................... 30
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 8. Be negative .................................................... 31
9. Hate yourself.................................................. 31

Roadblock 5: Always Choosing Instant Gratification ........... 33

Instant gratification, we all fall for it it’s when: .......... 33
Instant Gratification Doesn’t Work ........................... 34
Instant gratification is a paradox. ............................ 35
How to deal with instant gratification? ..................... 36

Roadblock 6: Letting Fear Take Over Your Life ................ 38

1. Fear will stop you from achieving your dreams. ....... 38
2. Fear always leads to mediocrity. ......................... 39
3. Fear will limit your happiness. ............................ 40
4. Fear will cover up your creativity. ....................... 41
5. Fear will cover up your uniqueness. ..................... 42

Roadblock 7: Surrounding Yourself with the Wrong Crowd .. 44

1. Get a clear idea of your goals and personal values .... 44
2. Spend less time with the wrong crowd .................. 45
3. Build your social skills ....................................... 45
4. Get involved in workshops and social groups related to
your goals ......................................................... 46
5. Offer value to your success models ...................... 47

Additional Resources ................................................ 48

Do Me a Big Favor .................................................... 48

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Roadblock 1: Caring What Everyone
Thinks
We are programmed by society and the media to care about
what everyone else thinks, and to always try to fit in. This
process is automated in our brain that we don’t even stop to
question it most of the time.

This obviously is a big roadblock to success because it

prevents us from being who we really want to be and instead we
become products of our society and surroundings.

A great example of this is how for the average man, asking a

woman out on a date is a big deal. Because if she turns him
down, he’ll feel a little hurt or foolish. Why is that? Because he
cares about what she thinks of him.

The problem with caring about what others think is that we

can’t control it in the first place. They’ll always be people that
like you, and people that dislike you.

Actually the most disliked people tend to be really wealthy

or famous like many of today’s movie stars and music artists who
are constantly being bad mouthed in the media.

Is part of their success due to not caring about the publics

opinions? Maybe, I’m not sure, but its food for thought. More
importantly, caring about others opinion of you assumes that we
are all alike. It assumes that we were all born in the same
towns, cities, or countries, went to the same schools, had the

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same parents, had the same circumstances in life etc. This is
why what anyone thinks of you is usually based on superficial
judgments they made even if they are a good friend or relative.

The long term effects of caring about what others think of us

is leading a disappointing unfulfilling life. What’s worse than
looking back on your life and realizing that most of the choices
you made were strongly influenced by the opinions and
judgments of others instead of your own preferences?

Why do we care what others think of us? While one can come
up with many good sounding reasons, deep down there are two
main reasons.

One main reason is usually some sort of insecurity. When we

are insecure about our lifestyles, our choices, or our actions, it’s
easier to just go along with the flow, and try to please everyone.

Otherwise, if we decide to stop caring what everyone thinks

of us, and live life however we please, we will start receiving
criticism and start generating a lot of attention.

A great example of this is feeling too insecure to ask your

boss for a raise. You feel that if you ask for a raise you might
give you boss the wrong idea, and since you’re insecure about
your quality of work, thinking it isn’t all that great to start with,
you decide it’s better to just be quiet instead of generating a lot
of attention.

The other main reason is a scarcity mentality. A scarcity

mentality is where we think there is a limited set number of
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resources, opportunities or options. Going back to the “asking
for a raise” example, an employee might feel that if he starts
asking and demanding too much maybe he’ll get fired, and not
be able to find any other jobs.

Of course this isn’t true because there will always be

numerous jobs and opportunities; however we often have this
ridiculous scarcity mentality.

How do you stop caring? Not caring what anyone thinks of

you is a working process, you just have to make the decision that
from now on you will not care.

You also have to be conscious of this decision repeating “I

don’t care what anyone thinks of me” in your head as you are
making choices in life. This will ensure that you aren’t making
choices based on others judgments or opinions.

Also to clarify, there is a big exception to this rule which is

breaking the law. You should certainly care about your countries
laws and respect the authorities.

While caring about what others think of us and our actions

can be a big roadblock to success, we still need to maintain a
balanced perspective.

If one stops caring completely about what anyone thinks of

him, he will not be able to change or grow. What was it that
initiated the last goal you made? I’m sure it had to do with
another human being achieving it, working towards it, or
recommending it.
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 Simply put, next time someone gives you their opinion you
will need to pause and consider whether it’s valuable or not. If
that person understands where you are coming from, has a
similar background and similar personal values, then their
opinion generally will be more valuable.

However you should try to be more honest with yourself and

make sure that you are not letting others opinions or judgments
hold you back from doing what you want in life.

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Roadblock 2: Always Looking for a
Shortcut Instead of Putting in the Hard
Work
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed
in overalls and looks like work.” - Thomas Edison

Consistency and hard work are two of the least discussed

methods for success these days.

Much of today’s marketing and advertising is about selling a

magic pill, a secret formula, or a newly discovered shortcut that
will transform your life within a few minutes hours or days and
poof you’ll reach your goal and live happily every after.

Whether a company is trying to sell a weight loss product or

a home-business starter kit, they are usually promising extreme
success very quickly.

Advertisers will also associate that extreme success with

happiness and fulfillment. They will show how happy Stacy looks
after she just lost 20 pounds.

They won’t show how many of her older friends are now a
bit jealous of Stacy getting all the attention and prefer not to go
out with her to social events.

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 They will not tell you about how Stacy dislikes getting
constantly accused by many of her relatives and friends of being
way too skinny, or overhearing rumors about herself having an
eating disorder. Here is a related article if you are not
convinced:
You Think Making Money or Losing Weight Equals Happiness?
Think Again

Success only Raises the Quality of Your Life

To clarify, I’m not saying that losing weight isn’t great, it is,
in fact I’m currently doing my own weight loss challenge.

Maintaining a healthy weight, being in a great shape, and

regularly exercising will certainly raise the quality of your life
allowing you to do and experience a lot more.

However, I must add success will not solve all of your

problems, in fact once you have lost the weight you will have a
few new problems.

The two Stacy problems I mentioned above I actually

discovered from hanging out with a great friend of mine after
she lost a lot of weight.

I’m just clarifying that there are no shortcuts to happiness.

Simply achieving a goal will make you happy momentarily,
however after a little while you will want the next thing.

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Always Wanting What You Don’t Have

Being stuck in this cycle of wanting one thing after the next
is perfect for advertisers and marketers because guess what?

They will always have something to sell you. By the way I’m
really interested in advertising and marketing and think it’s
great and necessary for selling a product, especially really good
valuable products.

For example many of the self help and personal development

products that helped me grow the most had very good
advertising and marketing behind them which is why I was
attracted to buying them in the first place.

However as a consumer I try to stay conscious of this process

of always wanting what I don’t have, because it allows me to
have more realistic expectations when purchasing a product.

So next time a product appeals to you as a magic pill or a

secret formula, pause and remember past products you have
purchased because of this same appeal and how they turned out.

This will help you save a lot of the time wasted in going
after shortcuts and the secret formulas. So what will you do with
this free time? Consistent Hard Work.

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What about the Secret Formulas that do Work?

“All the so-called secrets of success will not work unless you
do.” - Author Unknown

Maybe you are still debating the value of hard work and can
even think of a few secret formulas or magic pills that really do
work.

A great example is the Atkins diet. The Atkins diet is where

you avoid any foods with carbohydrates and sugars. If you have
tried this diet yourself you will see that it does work and you will
lose weight very quickly, however you will discover that it’s very
hard work after the first few days.

You will constantly crave bread and pasta, and generally

have a hard time finding Atkins friendly foods in social events.

Even if you lose all of your excess weight on the Atkins diet,
it’s very hard (if not impossible) to maintain the weight off as
you are gradually reintroducing carbs to your diet.

So I guess what I’m trying to convey is that even shortcuts or

magic pills that do deliver what’s promised usually require some
hard work.

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Consistent Hard Work

“Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key

to unlocking our potential” - Liane Cordes

While consistent hard work might not sound very appealing,

it is a great way to achieve fulfilling success.

Hard work is always guaranteed to pay off, even if you don’t

achieve your goal, consistently putting in the day to day work
will help you grow a more disciplined self controlled character
ready to tackle on your next big goal.

Hard work is consistently doing the day to day tasks whether

or not you are seeing results. Of course to be able to work hard
on something you must really want it.

When you make working hard one of your values you are no
longer detracted by all of those things you were contemplating
or thinking that would be “nice to have”, you end up going after
what you really want.

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Hard Work Example

“Some people dream of success while others wake up and

work hard at it.” - Author Unknown

The best example of hard work is a healthy approach to

losing weight and keeping the pounds off. This approach will
usually require that you eat healthier foods than fast foods or
sweats, however it will still give you some wiggle room.

While this approach is gradual therefore slower it’s easier

and therefore the chances of you maintaining it are higher. Also
it will help you build healthy eating habits that you will have for
life, leaving you feeling more energized every day you wake up.

This approach will usually require some form of exercise,

which will help you get red of your stress anyways. As you are
exercising gradually you will start burning fat, and eventually
building more lean muscle mass.

This lean muscle mass will not only help you look better in
most of your clothing, it will also decrease your chances of
coming in contact with many of the disease related to being fat
or overweight.

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Working Smart while Working Hard

Working hard doesn’t mean having an unbalanced life where

you are constantly working 10+ hour days.

While some people are very passionate about their work that
they enjoy working the 10+ hours that doesn’t mean that you
have to.

You should be trying to work smart. One way to work smart

is to eliminate unnecessary tasks that are more time intensive
yet provide a little or no payoff.

A quick way to find out what tasks you can eliminate is to

ask yourself in the morning, If I had only 2 hours to get one days
worth of work done, what projects/tasks would I skip or not
worry about as much?

Another way to work smart is to outsource very time

intensive boring tasks.

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Roadblock 3: Giving Up Too Quickly
“Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after
others have let go.” ~ William Feather

Perseverance, or persistent determination, is a common

personal development topic, and therefore I will not be
discussing perseverance in its traditional sense.

What I will be discussing is smart perseverance. The problem

with the traditional concept of perseverance is its vagueness.
When should you persist and when should you just quit and move
on? When is perseverance smart, and when is it just a waste of
time?

Smart perseverance simply is a conscious persistent

determination. It involves regularly evaluating each one of your
goals and actions deciding whether or not you should keep going.
The following tips will shed a lot more light on smart
perseverance.

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1. Pursue Your Heart’s True Desires.

“Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without

thinking about.” ~ Unknown

A lot of the time we aren’t really going after what we want

because of fear or insecurity. We end up pursuing lives that
never even feel like they are truly our own, instead they are just
what society and others consider appropriate.

On your death bed do you want to look back on your life

with regrets? This is why you must really go after what your
heart desires.

It can be difficult to find your hearts true desires because of

social conditioning and many of society’s implied rules which you
are raised with.

You must approach it like an innocent young kid, who sees a

world full of endless possibilities. Once you are pursuing your
heart’s true desire, smart perseverance takes care of itself. You
will be naturally motivated to pursue your desires.

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2. Do Not Confuse the Means with the Ends

If asked, what do you want out of life? Most of us would

conclude happiness.

We all want to lead happy satisfying lives. However

sometimes we associate the wrong things with happiness.

It’s common in a capitalist society that money is associated

with happiness. This is done in tv shows, the movies, and
advertising.

Money is necessary however it’s important to realize that

it’s just a mean to an end. The problem is that a lot of people
pursue making lots and lots of money as one of their goals. And
once they make the money they realize that long-term money by
itself never makes a person happy.

Your real goal should be happiness. And once you make this
clarification you will realize that there are many more means to
happiness than just money.

As an example building friendships with fun exciting happy

people will always add to the quality of your life, and leave you
feeling happier. Giving back to your community will also
increase your happiness. Taking time to reflect on all of the
great things that you have been blessed with in your life will also
make you happier.

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3. Do Not Give up Because of Laziness

“Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent

perspiration.” ~ Thomas Alva Edison

An easy happy satisfying life is an ideal. There are no

shortcuts to happiness. Life is a journey not a destination. Living
a lazy easy lifestyle will never be satisfying in the long run. In
fact it usually leads to feeling a light depression. Living a happy
satisfying life is hard work.

4. Do Not Give up Because of Slow or Lack of

Progress

“Most of the important things in the world have been

accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there
seemed to be no hope at all.” ~ Dale Carnegie

This will take care of itself if you are pursuing your

heart’s true desires, because your desire will be so strong, that
progress will become irrelevant.

However there still will be times where you might become

discouraged because of the slow or lack of progress.

Remember that while in a movie you can see a character

progress or change his whole lifestyle in a matter of 2 hours, in
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real life progress is much slower. This is why most people don’t
stick with their goals. Aim for steady slow progress.

5. Success is Closer than You Think.

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how
close they were to success when they gave up.” ~ Thomas
Alva Edison

Success might just be around the corner. Even if it’s not, by

persevering in pursuing your goal you are building a great
lifelong habit.

If you give up on your goal, how do you know that you will
not give up on your next goal or the one after that?

Be careful not to make giving up a habit. If you hang in there

and keep working at it, you are building a persistent determined
character.

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6. Be Flexible & Willing to Change.

Do not let your current identity or self image limit the

pursuit of your goals. Be willing to make changes, to try new
things, and to learn new skills.

Be willing to look like a fool every now and then. Remember

that if you keep doing the same things you will always get the
same results. So to achieve a new goal you must slowly make
changes and try different things.

7. Start Visualizing.

Visualization is very powerful especially as you use it more

and more. Whatever goal or endeavor you are pursuing, close
your eyes and start visualizing yourself as having achieved it.
Visualize how happy you feel as a result.

If, for example, you are pursuing weight loss then visualize a
thin version of yourself with your ideal weight and body shape.
Visualize how lean your body looks, how well clothing fit you,
how confident and happy you are with your amazing body shape.
Visualize how energetic you are.

Visualize becoming a lot more successful in other areas of

your life because of the confidence you now have from achieving
your weight loss goal. Daily review your goals, and visualize
achieving them.
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8. Add Emotions to Your Goals

A goal is just a goal, a few words or sentences. However

once you add emotions, it starts becoming part of you. Achieving
that goal becomes a strong part of your character.

Let’s say you set the following goal “I want to lose weight”.
This is a very plainly stated goal. What does it look like when
you add emotions? “I want to lose weight because I’m sick of
always having to buy new clothing that are a size or two bigger. I
want to lose weight because I’m sick of looking in the mirror and
seeing all those fat rolls.”

The more emotional reasons that you come up with for why
you must achieve a goal the better. You should regularly review
and add to your list of reasons.

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9. Regularly Review these Words of Calvin Collidge

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.

Talent will not; nothing in the world is more common than
unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is a proverb.
Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”

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Roadblock 4: Living a Crappy Life

If you are living a lame boring life then you won’t be

motivated to become successful in the first place.

Here are several ways to ensure that you live a boring

meaningless sad depressing crappy life ;)

1. Let fear control your life

There are all kinds of fears including fear of failure, fear

of success, fear of rejection, fear of change, fear of uncertainty,
etc. If you let fear control your life you will just become a
comfort zone zombie. How do you work on your fears? You
simply make a conscious decision to gradually get out of your
comfort zone.

2. Live for others validation

Validation is just another word for acceptance. Peer

pressure is easy to spot among teenagers. It’s adult version is
seeking others validation or acceptance and caring what
everyone thinks. Stop caring what everyone thinks.

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3. Become a fan

Every famous rock star has lots and lots of fans. Fans are
usually very reactive; they are acting in reaction to the rock
star’s actions.

The rock star takes the action of getting on stage, and the
fans react by cheering. The rock star makes news in the tabloids
or magazines and the fans react by admiring him or trash-talking
him.

In the same way, often times we live our lives like fans.
When we are out we are looking around at others to entertain
us. Instead of creating an exciting life of our own we become
fans of the people in reality tv shows. Since we don’t have
anything exciting going on in our lives we gossip about others.

Here is a quick tip to build an exciting rock star lifestyle:

Travel more, here are some cheap flight and hotel fares to great
destinations.

4. Think too much

Being smart and intelligent is a blessing yet it can be a curse

at times. One bad thing about being a smart intelligent human
being is the ability to rationalize any action whether it’s good or
bad.

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 For example I’m sure you can come up with 10 reasons why
you can’t follow the last tip I gave about booking a quick fun
trip. I’m sure you can even give me 10 more reasons why you
need to put it off.

However the sad truth is that most people rationalize, and

live very crappy boring lives, is that what you want? Very few
people live a life without regrets. Sometimes you need to just
stop thinking and start doing.

5. Stick to your little tribe

Having close friends and a stable social circle is necessary

and rewarding. However it can be limiting.

In addition to staying in touch with your current friends, you

should be always trying to meet new diverse people. Meeting a
new people will help you learn more about yourself and develop.

Every time you meet a new person it’s like seeing your
reflection in the mirror. If there are things about them that you
like and admire, you realize that maybe those are some
strengths that you have and just need to develop more.

If there are things about them you dislike, you learn more
about your personal values and you might even discover some of
your insecurities. Seeing your reflection in the mirror is just
another way of stating that we project our strengths (as likes)
and insecurities (as dislikes) onto others.

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6. Have a closed mind

We often hold on to our past perceptions and judgments.

This tricks us into thinking that we are all knowing and even
makes us feel a false sense of security.

Sadly this will lead to a very predictable boring life. Each

day will be the same routine, with the same thoughts and mostly
even the same actions. Try this for a change, think of yourself as
a clean slate. Approach life with the open mindedness of a child.

7. Think inside the box

It’s interesting, I still remember a very influential English

literature teacher in college who always encouraged thinking
outside of the box. While he was a very passionate teacher, he
failed to tell us one important thing.

He didn’t tell us how to cultivate thinking outside of the box

or thinking in more creative ways. According to him some people
had this ability and others didn’t.

An easy way to start thinking outside the box and to increase

your creativity is by learning different kinds of performance arts
including acting, improv or standup comedy, singing, or how to
play a musical instrument.

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 Learning performance arts will increase your creativity in
every other area of your life, especially if you are a very smart
logical person.

8. Be negative

It’s easy to be negative. It helps us create more excuses to

why we can’t achieve more success in our lives. Different studies
have shown that most of our negative thoughts or worries never
come true anyways. T

his is why you should cut off negative thoughts and replace
them with positive ones. Positivity will make you happier and
more successful in the long run.

Most of the very successful people that I’ve met tend to be

overly optimistic and very positive. Even in the worst of
situations they will still find a positive way to look at things.

9. Hate yourself

Do you love yourself? Think carefully about this. I always

thought my lifestyle was okay, maybe a bit above average but
nothing too spectacular. Recently I discovered that I didn’t love
myself.

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 To love yourself you must take some time to discover what
you really want out of life, and go for it. One of my personal
preferences is staying sober and avoiding alcohol.

There was a period where I was invited to different social

events and was pressured into drinking, and after a few of those
events I started developing a light depression, I even started
feeling like I don’t deserve anything good in life.

Once I started saying no to alcohol, or acted in line with my

persona preference, I noticed I gradually started liking myself
more.

Often times loving yourself will mean putting your personal

values and preferences before others. To love yourself more you
need to take more actions that are in alignment with your
personal values.

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Roadblock 5: Always Choosing Instant
Gratification

Instant gratification, we all fall for it it’s when:

• we eat that greasy fatty junk food, that tastes oh so

good in our mouth yet is bad for our health, energy
levels, productivity, and our weight loss plan
• we skip doing a chore like going to the gym, buying
groceries, cleaning the house and instead watch
useless mind numbing tv
• we get red of our hobbies, and forget about our
dreams just because they require too much work,
time and effort
• we overspend, buy stuff we don’t need, and maybe
even get in debt instead of investing and saving our
money
• we are always looking for the magic pill, whether it’s
to lose 30 pounds in 30 days without getting off the
couch or becoming the next millionaire by following
the newest get rich quick scheme

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Instant Gratification Doesn’t Work

We all know instant gratification doesn’t work, it’s a rip off.

We eat the junk food, and while it tastes amazing, afterwards
we feel too full, dehydrated, sleepy, lazy, and want to take a
nap.

We skip our chores, watch some tv, and afterwards realize

that we just wasted our a block of really valuable time.

We give up on our dreams, and discard our hobbies and live

like zombies doing the least we have to do to get by.

We go on shopping sprees, buy things we don’t need and

know we can’t afford and eventually encounter financial
problems and might even get in debt.

We want to lose weight without putting in the effort so we

order that magic diet pill and are disappointed when it doesn’t
work.

We want to become millionaires without putting in the hard

work and the long hours so we order that new get rich quick
program yet are disappointed later when we find out it’s either
a rip off or is a lot tougher and requires more effort than we
initially thought.

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Instant gratification is a paradox.

It’s a lie, however it’s one that we keep buying into.

Marketers know this, that’s why advertising works.

Does that mean advertising is evil? No, it’s what you make of
it. If it wasn’t for advertising and marketing you might have
never found out about the last great book you read, movie you
watched, or product you bought.

A great example of this is the 4 hour work week. It’s a great

book, yet it takes a lot of work to setup a business that only
requires 4 hours of your time to manage per week.

It took the author himself over a year just to get his business
to make him good profits, and another year to automate it. It’s
also important to point out that this wasn’t his first business
idea, he’s certainly tried and failed plenty of times in the past.

While the 4 hour work week is a great book, and is becoming

more and more popular, how many people do you think will end
up creating their own 4 hour work week? how many people are
willing to put in 2 years or more of hard work into setting such a
business up? how many people are willing to try and fail with
different business ideas until they find the right one? I’d like to
be optimistic and say many, yet in reality it’s very few.

Can you wake up one day and just eliminate all of the
temptation of indulging in instant gratification? No. Besides you
wouldn’t want to go to the other extreme of always thinking
long term.
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 While thinking long term is a healthy habit, it can certainly
distract you from enjoying the moment and making the best of
your current life situation.

Besides many people get too hung up on long term thinking

that they live their whole lives to create a better future, yet
that future never comes, how could it when they are always
busy creating it and can never stop to enjoy their present?

How to deal with instant gratification?

Step 1: Start looking at your choices and actions and see if

they are motivated by instant gratification. Take some time
right now and write down at least 3 choices/actions in your day
to day life that are an attempt to indulge in instant
gratification. Don’t judge those choices, and don’t be hard on
yourself.

Step 2: In the next 7 days become conscious of when you

make those choices and take those actions and how you feel
afterwards. Start becoming more conscious of how instant
gratification is a paradox, it doesn’t really exist.

Step 3: After a week of consciousness, start taking small

steps to decrease the frequency of those 3 choices/actions or
even to eliminate them if possible.

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 For example if you chose to watch tv regularly, try to watch
less tv, eliminate one of the shows you watch etc. If you’re
eating a lot of junk food try to incorporate one healthy meal into
your diet each day.

If you are living from paycheck to paycheck try to go

shopping less often and mostly buy necessities instead of
luxuries.

There isn’t an easy way to do this, it’s just a matter of

knowing that you need to do the right thing and doing it anyway
whether or not you feel like it. Of course after making the right
choices for a while, they become habits that are easier to
maintain.

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Roadblock 6: Letting Fear Take Over Your
Life
Here are 5 reasons to push through fear.

1. Fear will stop you from achieving your dreams.

I’m sure you have many dreams and aspirations. Maybe one
of your dreams is to travel the world, start your own business or
find the love of your life.

These are a few of my dreams. As I have been working on

making these dreams a reality, I’ve realized that one of the
biggest roadblocks is fear.

To find the love of my life, or in other words meet a great

woman I have had to face one of my biggest fears. The first step
to meeting a great woman (or mate) is becoming social and
meeting lots and lots of people.

As I started doing this, I had to deal with my fear of

rejection over and over again. I realized that what stops most
men from meeting a great woman is fear of rejection.

I still remember when how my heart would beat faster and

my mouth would stutter when I would go out and initiate
conversation with strangers.

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 This is a great example of the physical results of fear that I
would push through. It certainly wasn’t easy. However it paid
off. I did end up building a great social circle with many great
friends.

I also did end up meeting a couple of very spectacular

women along the way. If I didn’t push through my fear of
rejection, I would have never improved my social skills.

2. Fear always leads to mediocrity.

Becoming great in any field or endeavor usually requires

conquering some fear. However if your goal is to just be average
or mediocre then you can skip reading this section.

Still here? One factor that separates the good (average or

slightly above) from the great, is the willingness to push through
fear. You should be smart about pushing through fear. You
should evaluate the fear logically looking at two factors.

The first factor is the reality of the fear, is there real danger?

With my fear of rejection there wasn’t any. If I approached a

new person, initiated a conversation, received a bad reaction, I
would still be physically fine.

Yes I might feel bad for a few seconds, my pride and ego
might get a kick. However I always reminded myself that I’m

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trying to learn a skill. Additionally it would be foolish to give
importance to strangers reactions since they don’t know me that
well.

As I’ve started pushing through most of my fears I learned

that fear is mostly in my head and there is rarely ever any real
danger. If there is a physical risk or a real danger, then you need
to evaluate the second factor.

The second factor is comparing the potential payoff (or gain

from taking the risk) with the possibility of a real danger
happening.

When I went skydiving I realized that it can be physically

dangerous. However after looking at some statistics I quickly
learned that skydiving is safer than driving. It also seemed that
our potential skydiving center was safe and very organized.

Additionally considering the payoff of the experience and how

amazing it would feel, I decide to join my friend in doing it. It
was a surreal experience, and now I recommend that anyone try
a tandem sky dive at least once. This is where an instructor is
tied to your back during the jump, pulls the parachute for you
and gives you landing instructions.

3. Fear will limit your happiness.

Living in your comfort zone usually turns your life into a

boring everyday routine. You are generally taking the same
comfy actions and therefore can predict their results.
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 However if you start getting out of your comfort zone and
facing some of your fears you can eventually create a rock star
lifestyle. I’m not speaking of all the lavage aspects, instead the
unpredictability, excitement, and fun.

You just have to try getting out of your comfort zone to

really see the big payoffs. A quick way to do it is to initiate
conversation with a stranger. A simple “Hey, how are you” or a
giving a compliment is an easy way to do this. Who knows you
might even make a new friend.

4. Fear will cover up your creativity.

Creativity is risky and uncomfortable. Often people try to

work on their creativity, and while it is a great skill to develop,
it is risky. The unwillingness to take risks and regularly get out of
your comfort zone will inhibit your natural creativity.

Your natural creativity is when you have a great idea or

think outside the box. You can start strengthening your natural
creativity by following the little voice in your head that tells you
to do something in a different way.

Once you notice that your natural creativity is developing

and no longer inhibited, then you can take different workshops
that will increase your creativity. Performance art workshops
(improv comedy, acting, singing, playing a musical instrument)
usually build your creativity.

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5. Fear will cover up your uniqueness.

When we are born we are all naturally unique in certain

ways. This is very easy to spot if you observe a young kid. Young
kids are very uninhibited and they let their uniqueness shine. We
all are naturally unique.

Your uniqueness comes from that little voice inside of your

head that suggests you try this or that unique thing. Taking
unique actions tend to attract a lot of attention especially in
public.

Additionally it tends to draw more judgments from others.

This is why conformity is very easy and safe. However there are
many rewards to being unique including a happier self, a more
fulfilling lifestyle and an easier time figuring out your purpose.

I think the reason a lot of people can’t find their purpose is

because they have always conformed. Uniqueness is simply
acting in line with your personal values and preferences.

Lack of fear does not equal stupidity. There are of course good
reasons why we feel fear. Fear is a protection mechanism to
help us survive.

For example it’s great that you might feel a bit of fear crossing a
busy intersection. This fear keeps your senses alert. What I’m
recommending is taking calculated risks.

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Roadblock 7: Surrounding Yourself with
the Wrong Crowd

Surrounding yourself with the success models will

automatically steer your life and your efforts toward success. A
success model is someone who either has achieved a goal you
are working towards or can guide you in the path towards
achieving it.

On the other hand surrounding yourself with the wrong

crowd will make it much harder for you to succeed. Whenever
you spend a lot of time around a person, you naturally become
more like them whether they are a good or a bad influence.
Here are tips on how to surround yourself with success models.

1. Get a clear idea of your goals and personal values

Without having clear specific goals, and personal values

there is no way to tell if you are surrounding yourself with
success models or failure models.

There is a difference between a goal and a personal value. A

goal is a futuristic want you are working towards achieving. A
good example of a goal is wanting to lose weight. A personal
value, is a preference, a trait or characteristic you like that you
can start implementing right away.

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 Some of my persona values are positivity, optimism,
randomness, humor and open-mindedness. Once you have goals
and personal values you can start evaluating whether a friend is
a success model or not.

2. Spend less time with the wrong crowd

You will start realizing that some of your close friends or

maybe even relatives aren’t a really good influence on you.

Maybe they don’t believe that achieving your goals is

possible and tend to always put you down when you bring them
up. Or maybe their personal values don’t align with yours.

Whatever the case is, just try to spend less time with them.
Also when spending time with them, make sure you are steering
the direction of the conversation.

For example if they bring up a negative subject, just switch

the conversation by starting to talk about something positive.
Get them talking about things they like or love so that you can
experience their positive side.

3. Build your social skills

In order to have more choice in the quality of friends and

relationships you create you must have good social skills. When I

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was younger I had bad social skills, and was great full for any
friends I made whether they were good or bad.

As I started working on my social skills I started having a lot

more choice in the friendships I make. A quick tip to improve
your social skills is to simply introduce yourself to strangers
when you’re out.

I usually just say “Hey, I’m Andrew, What’s your name?”. It’s
a natural reaction for a stranger to introduce him/her self back.
Just carry on the conversation from there. You might be really
nervous trying this out at first, but just do it at least 10 times,
and it will start becoming easier.

4. Get involved in workshops and social groups

related to your goals

If you want to lose weight, you should join weight loss

support groups or go to group fitness classes at your gym. This
will help you come into contact with others who are working
towards your goal of losing weight or staying fit.

It will certainly also increase your chances of making friends

with similar goals. As you spend more time with those new
friends you will automatically move closer and closer towards
your weight loss goal.

For example if you were to go out to eat with one of those

new friends they will tend to order healthier foods. This will
encourage you to also order healthy foods or menu choices also.
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I just used weight loss as an example goal, however this strategy
works with any other goal.

5. Offer value to your success models

Once you have made friends who are success models make
sure you are offering them value. Don’t just become a vacuum
that only sucks value from them. Otherwise you will notice the
relationships will deteriorate and they will be trying to avoid
you.

You just need to ask what is valuable to my new friend?

Maybe there is a skill they are trying to learn that you can teach
them or help them in learning. Maybe you can introduce them to
other cool people. Maybe you can invite them to fun events and
parties that you go to.

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Additional Resources
Visit http://PersonalHack.com for many more free success and
personal development articles.

Do Me a Big Favor
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have enjoyed reading this guide please take a few minutes
right now to pass it on to others.
This guide can be distributed free of charge as long as it’s not
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No part of this guide’s text maybe copied or reproduced in
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whole as long as it’s not modified, however the text is still
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