Erotic Sms Page 1
Erotic Sms Page 1
Sick Leave A guy call into work and says: Boss I cant come to work to day, Im sick. Boss asks: How sick are you? The guy says: Im fucking my sister how sick is that? Brand Sex Sex is like nokia -connecting people like Nike -just do it Like Pepsi -ask for more Like Samsung -everyone is invited and like me -TO GOOD TO BE TRUE! Fucking Mafia Licking pussy is like playing with the mafia... One wrong move and you are in DEEP SHIT!!!! The Alphabet a-ur attractive b-ur beautiful c-ur caring d-ur delicous e-ur exciting f-ur funny g-ur gorgeous h-ur heavenly I-IM J-JUST K-KIDDING L-LOSER!
Good Sex Sex is good, sex is fine, doggy style or , just for fun or getting paid, everyone likes getting laid! Equation Do you like maths, if so add a bed, subtract ur clothes, divide your legs and
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we can multiply! Sex Guide Bak bak, front front, on d table,lick d cunt, stick it in, do ur ting, do it hard & make her sing, tense ur body feel d cum, den let it rip into her bum Luv me tender Luv me tender, luv me sweet, rap ur lips around my meat, watch & smile, watch me grin, watch the cum drip down my chin! Life as a penis reasons not b a penis )ur bald ur entire life )both ur naybors r nutz )an arsehole lives bhind u )ur bestms a cunt )wen xcited u throw up den faint! Pregnant Sex is real evil,sex is a sin,moaning and groaning as he slides slowly in,it cant last eva,I no its a shame,dat night of passion leads to months of pain! Flying Fuck Ill fuck you standing,I fuck you lying, If I had wings Id fuck you flying, if you were dead,your not forgotten, ill dig you up and fuck you rotten! Beat Me Beat me eat me bite my bum, whip me strip me make me cum, suck me fuck me and lick me out, then tickle my nipples until I shout!
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0 note advantages of gettin a 0 note tattood on ur cock: - U can play wiv ur money, - U can see ur money grow - Ur girl can blow as much money as she wants
5 advantages of having sex with married women: They give like hell, they do not yell, they do not tell, they do not of wedding bell. Boy: Kiss karu? Girl: Lipstick kharab hogi Boy: Boobs dabane do Girl: T-Shirt Kharab hogi Boy: Fuck? Girl: Periods mei hu Boy: Now dont say Loose motion hai.
Kiss- Height of luv Nipple- Peak of luv Boobs- Shape of luv Penis- Length of luv Pussy- Depth of luv Ass- Base of luv Testicles- Weight of luv Fuck- Experience of luv Suck- Taste of luv Masturbation- Substitute of luv Condom- Care of luv Sperm- Cream of luv Marriage- Mistake of luv Pregnancy- Proof of luv Child- Outcome of luv
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there was a young girl from Wick,who asked her mum wht's a prick, her mother said annie it goes up your fanny and jumps up and down till its sick... Q: What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia? A: A cancelled Czech!
Man comes home, finds neigbour on top of wife. He rushes out screaming, ' what to do? ' If i hit him on head, it's murder. If i hit him on butt it goes in further!
American Aur Desi american aur desi mein kya farak hota hai? american kaam ko dimaak mein aur c ko l pe rakhta hai . Aur desi c ko dimaak mein aur kaam ko l pe rakhta hai
Arz kia hai. . . 1 rupyaa bacha k puri jindagi nahi kat jaygi 1 rupyaa bacha k puri jindagi nahi kat jaygi 1 msg karne se teri ga*d nahi phat jaygi...!
Zandu Balm,Zandu Balm,Gote karde Jam,Lund ki Khujli Dur Kare,Chut ko De Aaram,Zandu Balm, Zandu Balm..
Miranda Condom: Zor ka Jhatka Dhire Se LageMRF Condom: Extra Rubber Extra MilageMOOV Condom: Aah se Aaha TakIODEX Condom: Andar Tak Jaye Aaram Dilaye
Miya aur bibi me bhayanak jhagda ho gaya.Miya gusse se titmilata hua chillaya- gaand maar doonga!!!Bibi boli:"Aage ki to sochte nahin, bus peeche pade rehte ho.."
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Prince ko bahar nikal ne par usse pucha ke aapko kaisa lag raha hai. Prince bola;- yeh to kuch bhi nahin tha 5 saal pehle esse bhi chote hole tha!!!
se bahar nikla
Husband touched boobs and sung: Piyo glass full doodh, wonderful doodh. Immediately wife touched his penis n said: Thanda matlab CHOTA COKE!
Teer Kya chalati ho dhaar to TALWAR mein hai, Teer Kya chalati ho dhaar to TALWAR mein hai. Dupatte se kya chupati ho, maal to SALVAR mein hai!
Rosemary divorced Mr.Lele b'coz she was sick of telling her name, "Roz Meri Lele." Imagine her tough luck, when she was re-married to Mr.Marlow
What did ramu say ven he saw a surgical glove? Shaym lagta to condom hai per draupdi ke zamane ka hai
Toothpaste & Boobs What is the Similarity between Toothpaste & B**bs? Guess ? its easy !! U know the answer !! Kholo.. Dabao... Muh me dalo aur Fresh ho jaao....
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Q:wht is the defination of eternity? A: the time when you cum and she leaves...
Q: why does a squirrel swin on its back? A: to keep its nuts dry...
young female patien:I'm a embarrased but how long before can i resume my doc: u r the firdt patient to ask me this after tonsillectomy!!!!
sex life.
Girls are like internet domain names... the ones I like are already
taken.
Whats the difference between a chicken and a baby? Chicken is the result of a sitting hen while the baby is the result of standing cock.
Q: A guy breaks up with his GF & pushes her down from da 24th floor. Amazingly she survives..... How?? A: New WHISPER with wings... Never Lets You Down!
Why was the two piece swimsuit invented? 2 separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section!!
wht is the defination of sn Impotent loser? a guy who cant even get his hopes up!
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waht does bungee jumping and hookers have in comman? they both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breasks u r screwed.
all men are terrorists. they always attack women on their twin towers pentagon!!!
how can u tell tht ur computer mouse is male or female? U dont have to turn it upside down to see it u can tell urself!!how? its a female coz it uses a pad below.
Husband:- if u cook well,we can dismiss cook and save 300rs. Wife:- if u **** well, we can dismiss driver,gardner and watchman and
save 12000rs.
Researcher: Excuse me madam, I'm conducting a survey. Woman: Yes, what is it about? Researcher: We are asking people what they think about sex on the Woman: Very uncomfortable, I would imagine!
television...
Statistical analysis of Penis ....Avg length 6in,avg strokes 50,avg **** 3 a wk,52 wks a yr,avg sex life 20yrs..so a women gets 47kms of Penis in a lifetime.
Hi,i m leaving the country.Kyoki bipasa ka rape ho gya hai or POLICE ko mujh pe shaq hai,tum bhi nikal lo kyoki uski kutia bhi chudi hui mili hai.
2 sardar at a cinema:1st see House full at the ticket counter & said:Maa di fudi band hogi?2nd shouted: Oye Aaja Aaja !Bhen di fudi black ch mildi payi ha?.
Son-aisi kya chij he jiske aju baju baal hai? PAPA-chup be Son-mai batau AANKHE hai. PAPA-haa thik. SON-aap CHUT samajte the na. .
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Famous poet Faiz in love with Noorjhan asked her for a ****. Noorjahan blushed & said "Apne bahut badi cheez mangli hai?" Faiz: "Agar itni badi hai to rehne do"
Boss: Lt me fuk u jst once, I'll b quick & pay u1000. I'll thrw the money on the flr & b4 u bend dwn & pk it up, It'll b dn. Girl lks the proposal & cals her BF....BF: Its ok, bt ask 4 2000 & b vry quick 2 pck money.Aftr 4 hrs BF cals her.Wht hpnd? GF:Bastard's stil ****in me, he got coins.
After intense sex sardar said to lady'Mazaa nahi aaya,teri koi breast nahi,tera hole bhi chota he"... Lady "sardar ji mainu sidha to karo..
Do you want to have sex with me? For RS. 5000.00 ! Please please please.................................. ...I really need the money!
A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play *Magic*? She says: What's that? .....He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you dissappear.....
Pornography tells lies about women, but the truth about men.
God created the world in SIX days But took him centuries... to come up with someone...as "HOT" ... as "SEXY" ... as "****able" ... *..As "YOU!" .. *
Aik larka College mai larki say kehta hai.... Matak matak k chalti hoo Dil ko khoob lagti ho... Aik bar dedo kya farq parta hai... Larki nay kaha.... Matak matak kar chalna hamari chal he aise hai... Apni bhabi say mago uski aour mere aik he jaisee hai...
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Braiser k nechay kya.... Bachoon ki Ghizaa... Baro ka maza... Nekar k nechay kya.... mit k maa.. 9 ahenayki saza...
Why r condoms only sold in packets of 3 and 12 ?3packs r for young ppl(morn,afternoon,night) n 12 for old ppl- Jan,feb,Mar,Apr,
Solve:Mom is 21 yrs elder 2 her child . After 6 yrs d mom wil b of age 5 times of her child. Que: where is d father right now. Solve it.
My thought of day_ Agar aap ladkiyon ko ijzat denge to woh bhi tumhen dengi
apni ijzat
SPECIAL KAVITA "LUND"Land tum khade raho,Chut main pade raho.Land jab prachand ho,To chut khandkhand ho.Land tum khade chalo,Land tum bhade chalo.Samne darar ho,Gand ka pahad ho.Land tum ruko nahi,Land tum jhuko nahi.Chut charmara uthe,Jhant kasmasa uthe.Agni sa dhadak dhadak,Chut me sarak sarak.Jab tak chut phate nahi,Tab tak land hate nahi.Chut ko tu phad de,Uske ander jhaad de.Land tum mahan ho,Sarv shaktimaan ho. "Bolo BABA LUND DEV maharaj kg jai".
Looking at the Elephant's Penis, Son:Mummy Ye Kya Hai? Mother:Kuchh Nahi hai Beta...... Fatherekha Beta, Teri Maa ke Liye ye Bhi Kuchh Nahi Hai...!!!
18 sal ki Ladki K 18 vachan.................1. mera pecha mat karo 2.mai sharif ladki hu 3.bus ek bar bolugh I L U 4.sirf ek bar milugi 5.kuch karna nahi 6.koi dekh lega 7.bus upar sai kar lo 8. panti mat utaro 9.bas ek bar hi karwaungi 10.sharm aa rahi hai 11.bhut lamba hai 12.meri chut mai itna mota nahi jayega 13.jor sai mat dalna 14.bhut dard ho raha hai 15.chuchi ko choso 16.kamar ko pakr kar dalo17.jor sai dhakka maro 18.bahar mat nikalo..
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World's most dangerous snake.ERECTERIUS TROUSERIUS (Trouser Snake)Description-Varies from pink to black, fangless with highly venomous spit. Size varies from 3 to 12 inches depending on subspecies.Usually found in bedrooms but is known to appear in unusual places from time to time. Attacks women in the lower frontal abdomenal area but on occasions is known to attack men in the lower posterior area also!
She offered him honour. He honoured her offer. And then....the whole night.... It was "Onher & Offher"!!!
Man is born through a hole. when he grows up he searches for holes, when he dies he is buried in a hole. Thats y your nickname is *******!
8 qualities of a PERFECT boyfriend... Brave,Intelligent, Gentle,Polite, Energetic, Non-alcoholic, Industrious, Self-organised. In short, B.I.G.P.E.N.I.S.
He met a lady while browsing. She unzipped his dotcom when downloading. Since he was virus free he slotted his floppydisk into her hotmail she screamed yahoo!
Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.then you my friend will be THE MAN!!
Whats the diff between your wife and your job? After 10 years your job
still sucks
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman to a man, it's $2.95 a minute
talks dirty
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Sardar ki Biwi mar gayi, Dost ne puchha kaise mar gayi? Sardar: Yaar, Mooh me Mooh tha, Chut me Lund tha, Gaand me Ungali thi, pata nai AATMA kahan se nikal gayi
Arz hai: Log kehte hai ki mard ko dard nahin...log kehte hai mard ko dard nahin.Main kaheta hu Do taangoke beech me maaro DARD NAHIN TO MARD NAHIN!
A couple was pumping hard in bed.MAN: Spread ur legs wider honey! WIDER!. ...WIDER!GIRL: Are u trying to get ur balls in?MAN: Im trying 2 take them OUT!
Farmer tries a cows milking machine on his penis & had great FUN, but could"nt remove it...Reads the manual & faints. It said...AUTO RELEASE AFTER 5 LITRES..
Shakeela goes to L I C office to insure her pussy & breast The officer said to her 'Sorry madam we r not accepting highly damaged & things'...
used
When Apple is Green its ready to Pluck & when a Girl is 16 she is ready to ****! Apple Says Beat me Eat me Bite my Bum. Girl says Suck me **** me make me MUM !
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Sardar: Will u marry me? Girl: sorry im a lesbian. Sardar: what's a lesbian? Girl: I like to have sex with girls. Sardar: wow! I'm also a lesbian...
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