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Week 4: Parent Management Training SESSION 4: Attending and Planned Ignoring Page 1 of 6

Rules for attending 1. Define the behavior you want to increase: the positive opposite. Decide what kind of planned ignoring to use when the defined behavior occurs. Set an acceptable limit of tolerance for the identified behavior. Use ignoring immediately after the limit has been reached.

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Week 4: Parent Management Training SESSION 4: Attending and Planned Ignoring Page 1 of 6

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Week 4

1. Ignore ___________________________ until the child has stopped or has changed behaviors.
2. Attend to the child when she or he is doing ____________________________________________________.
3. Keep praising and charting!
4. Praise your child at least three times a day for __________________________________________________.

Parent Management Training SESSION 4: Attending and Planned Ignoring

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SESSION 4 Chart I
Rules for Attending and Ignoring
Rules for Attending
1. Define the behavior you want to increase: the positive opposite.
A good definition tells who, what, where, and when.
2. Decide on the type of attention to use.
Vary the attention and approval.
Specific praise is most effective when paired with attention and interest in the child and what he
is doing.
3. Decide when to use it
While the behavior is happening or immediately after its completion.
Rules for Ignoring
1. Define the behavior to be ignored.
A good definition tells who, what, where, and when.
2. Decide what kind of planned ignoring to use when the defined behavior occurs.
Look away, move away.
No facial expression.
Do not talk with your child.
Ignore all requests.
Leave the room.
3. Decide when to use it. Set an acceptable limit of tolerance for the identified behavior.
Decide how much of the behavior you will tolerate; for example, ignore all whining after you
explain once.
Use ignoring immediately after the limit has been reached.
Use it every time the behavior occurs.
4. Decide on what positive behavior (positive opposite) to attend to.
Planned ignoring will not work if attending is not used at the same time.

Parent Management Training SESSION 4: Attending and Planned Ignoring

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SESSION 4 Chart II
Attending and Ignoring Exercise
Your child has a major report due for school. A few nights before the due date, you encourage your daughter
to start her book report, but she complains and states, I dont want to do it now, Ill do it later! You calmly
remind her that she can earn bonus points on her point chart for working on it that night. She gets her books
and mumbles under her breath, This is stupid, I hate this class, and who cares about this topic? She looks
out the window for a few minutes and begins working again. After working on it for 20 minutes, she looks
up and yells, This is all your fault. I wanted your help last week, but you were too busy! Two minutes later,
she pulls the book back and begins reading. As she continues her report, she looks confused and calmly asks
her mother for help.
Behaviors to attend: ____________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________
Behaviors to ignore: _____________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________
Always attend to the positive behavior immediately!

Parent Management Training SESSION 4: Attending and Planned Ignoring

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SESSION 4 Chart III

Worksheet for Attending and Ignoring
General Problem: ______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________
When my child does this (problem behavior):

I will do this:

_________________________________________________________________

Ignore him/her

_________________________________________________________________

Not look at him/her

_________________________________________________________________

Not talk to him/her

_________________________________________________________________

Not smile at him/her

_________________________________________________________________

Turn/walk away

_________________________________________________________________

Talk to someone else

_________________________________________________________________

Attend to another child

And Ill do it every time!

When my child does this (positive opposite):

I will do this:

_________________________________________________________________

Pay attention to him/her

_________________________________________________________________

Look at him/her

_________________________________________________________________

Talk to him/her

_________________________________________________________________

Smile at him/her

_________________________________________________________________

Praise him/her

_________________________________________________________________

Ask questions

_________________________________________________________________

Hug, kiss, or high five

And Ill do it every time!

Parent Management Training SESSION 4: Attending and Planned Ignoring

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SESSION 4 Chart IV
Common Problems to Ignore
Whining
Bad table manners
Complaining
Yelling
Unable to play alone
Pleading to be bought things in stores
Crying
Swearing
Noisiness
Quarreling with siblings
Pouting
Teasing
Interrupting