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Sara's Super Special Resume

Sara Hall is seeking a new job and provides an unconventional resume. She aims to get an interview by being amusing and highlighting her ability to work with different personalities. Her experience includes customer service, training, and property management roles. She claims to be personable, flexible, and able to take on difficult tasks. Her objective is to find stable employment that allows her to pay bills and enjoy leisure activities.

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Sara Claywell Hall
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121 views2 pages

Sara's Super Special Resume

Sara Hall is seeking a new job and provides an unconventional resume. She aims to get an interview by being amusing and highlighting her ability to work with different personalities. Her experience includes customer service, training, and property management roles. She claims to be personable, flexible, and able to take on difficult tasks. Her objective is to find stable employment that allows her to pay bills and enjoy leisure activities.

Uploaded by

Sara Claywell Hall
Copyright
© Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Sara Hall

448 N. Washington St. Hagerstown, IN 47346 (765) 465-3247 [email protected]

Objective ___________________________________________________________________________
To get you to read this resume, schedule an interview with me, realize my amazing awesomeness, and instantly hire me. Once generously compensated by your superior company, I will be able to pay my bills, buy groceries, and eat pizza on Friday evenings. Finally, if I survive to the ripe old age of 65, I shall retire from your fine institution and move to an active retirement community in Southern Florida.

Profile _____________________________________________________________________________
After two days sitting at home, I get bored with myself and prefer to go to work. I like to work at a place where people are fun and interesting, but I have a proven ability to work well with jerks, too. Ill do just about anything if it pays enough (except weird stuffIm not into weird stuff). Im pretty good at keeping secrets so if you are into weird stuff, I wont tell my co-workers (especially if you pay me extra). Flexible and versatile, not physically, of course, but in regards to my disposition. Able to maintain a sense of humor under tremendous pressure as opposed to turning into a complete asshole. Almost everyone at every place Ive ever worked has really liked me, so that probably qualifies me as personable. Very high attendance rates. I show-up, people like me, Im awesomeyou could easily stop reading now and start offering me loads of money.

Skills Summary ______________________________________________________________________


Rapier Wit Connoisseur of Fun Ambassador of Coolness General Office Skills

Computer Savvy Customer Service Movie Watching Marketing & Sales

Lunch Hour Master Training/Recruiting Front-Office Operations Professional Presentations

Professional Experience _______________________________________________________________


RECRUIT/TRAIN/ RETAIN

Can talk most people into doing almost anything. Terribly convincing/conniving. Once I learn how your business works, Id be really good at training other people to do it and/or train them how to do it the right way (depending on how yall have things set-up over there). Since people like me, they tend to do what I say and want to make me happy. I want to make them happy as well. I form little Mutual Admiration Societies everywhere I go. Doesnt YOUR company need a little more sunshine in the office? I bet so. When I first started college, I was going to be a teacher so I took a lot of educational theory classes. Then I realized that I hate children. So long as you dont hire little kids, I would be good at training your workers. I realize that maintaining top talent is necessary for success. I could easily shitcan the jerk-offs and help you retain the people who possess the capacity for complex thought. Sounds tempting, huh? My numbers at the top of this page. Call now. A customer once yelled at me for 10 minutes on the phone and I never yelled back. Then theres all the verbal abuse I endured while working the front desk of a hotel. I can take a lickin and keep on tickin. Drive and entrepreneurial spirit learned very early in life: I had a lucrative business in high school selling term/research papers and other homework. I usually end-up being the person who takes all the crap jobs at the company once everyone else fails to do them correctly, calls in sick, or weasels out of it in some other way. Ready to take one for the team. Worked as a personal assistant to a very old and very insane real estate agent. I created a website for him (before websites were cool), marketed the heck out of it, and revolutionized his business. Plus, working for him is the source of many terrific/horrifying stories that I love to tell. You KNOW you want to hear them.

CUSTOMER SERVICE/MARKETING/PROBLEM SOLVING


Employment History _________________________________________________________________


A-SONS CONSTRUCTION, INC. Muncie, IN

Customer Service Rep. and Vendor Recruiter, November 2010 to August 2012

Sara Hall
LEBEL PROPERTY MANAGEMENT Morristown, TN

Property Manager and Storage Facility Manager, March 2010 to November 2010
KRENZER PROPERTY MANAGEMENT Morristown, TN Property Manager for 200+ rentals, May 2004 to January 2010 REMAX REAL ESTATE TEN Morristown, TN Personal Assistant, Punching Bag, and Gopher, August 2003 to May 2004 HOLIDAY INN Morristown, TN Front Desk Clerk and Verbal Abuse Sponge, December 2002 to August 2003 NASA Moon, Universe Astronaut during Moon Landing, July 20, 1969

Education __________________________________________________________________________
NORTHWESTERN STATE UNIVERSITY Natchitoches, LA

B.A. General Studies (emphasis in Psychology), 2002 GPA: 3.5 This doesnt actually qualify me for anything, but its a degree that I earned/paid for.
SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS Worldwide

Student, 1980-present

GPA: 2.5-4.0 (depending on the day)

TENNESSEE REAL ESTATE SCHOOL Knoxville, TN Affiliate Brokers License, 2004

References available upon request.* *Number, quality, and truthfulness of references will vary according to your willingness to actually call them. So let me know ahead of time. Thanks.

448 N. Washington St. Hagerstown, IN 47346 (765) 465-3247 [email protected] Page 2

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