Becoming Who God Says You Are

a l gt a r
e o
CRAIG

G RO ES C HEL

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We want to hear from you. Please send your comments about this
book to us in care of [email protected]. Thank you.
ZONDERVAN
Altar Ego
Copyright 2013 by Craig Groeschel
This title is also available as a Zondervan ebook. Visit www.zondervan.com/ebooks.
This title is also availablein a Zondervan audioedition. Visit www.zondervan.fm.
Requests for information should be addressed to:
Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Groeschel, Craig.
Altar ego : becoming who God says you are / Craig Groeschel.
p.
cm.
ISBN 978-0-310-33371-5 (hardcover, jacketed)
1. Identity (PsychologyReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Title.
BV4509.5.G696 2013
248.4dc23

2012039760

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from The Holy Bible, New
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permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation,
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In chapter 8, the poem by Jane Kenyon titled Otherwise is from Collected Poems. Copyright 2005 by The Estate of Jane Kenyon. Reprinted with the permission of The Permissions Company, Inc. on behalf of Graywolf Press, www.graywolfpress.org.
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contents

to the reader. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
- Part One -

Sacrificing Your False Self

for Your Sacred Identity in Christ
1. overcoming the labels that bind you. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
2. you are Gods masterpiece. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31
3. you are an overcomer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47
4. you are Gods ambassador. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65
- Part Two -

Sacrificing Cultural Relativity

for Eternal Values
5. living with patience . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83
6. living with integrity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 101
7. living with honor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121
8. living with gratitude . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 139

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- Part Three -

Sacrificing Self-Justification
for Passionate Obedience
9. bold behavior . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 161
10. bold prayers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 177
11. bold words . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 193
12. bold obedience . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 209

final introduction. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 227

acknowledgments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 233

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Pa r t O n e

Sacrificing Your
False Self for Your
Sacred Identity in Christ

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chapter 1

o v er coming t he label s
t h a t bind y ou
Dont rely too much on labels,
for too often they are fables.
C harlesH. Spurgeon

Its no secret that Ive always been financially conservativeat least

thats the way Ive described myself. Others havent been as kind in
their descriptions of my careful spending habits. The refrain Ive heard
the most often is Craig the Tightwad, which I find a bit extreme. Im
just more fiscally responsible than other people, I rationalize.
In my teens and college years, my financial selfishness didnt
stand out that much. None of us had a lot of money to spend, so saving was pretty much out of the question. Sure, you might have been
able to spot signs of my selfishness. Letting a buddy drive so I didnt
have to pay for gas. Conveniently forgetting about a friends birthday
and the requisite gift. In college, some guys actually spread rumors

15

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sacrificing your false self for your sacred identit y in Christ

that Id break up with a girl before Valentines Day to avoid giving

her a present! For the record, if I ever did such a lousy thing, it wasnt
more than once or twice.
When I was a young adult with a real job that paid a real salary
(real low, but real nonetheless), my selfish tendencies became more
obvious. When Amy and I married, my annual income was twelve
thousand dollars a year. With the goal of becoming debt free, we held
back on giving expensive presents to our friends and families. In the
early years, our budget for Christmas was five dollars per person.
When people made fun of us, we eventually caved and raised our
budget to a liberal seven dollars per person. (Before you judge me,
remember that seven dollars went a lot farther in 1991.)
The one habit that cemented my reputation, though, was recycling gifts. Anyone with the gift of penny-pinching has recycled a gift
or two in their prime. I admit that I excelled and elevated regifting to
an art form. Not only did I not want my kids to open the cellophane
wrapping off some presents to ensure we could give those to another
child as needed, but I regularly gave to others gift cards that I had
received. The granddaddy of them all was when I actually got caught
doing it. Sure, everyone suspected my crime, but no one could ever
prove it, until the day I gave a Chilis gift card to Mike.
Mike was a painter who did some work on our home. Because
Mike did a great job and wasnt a Christian, I wanted to be a good
witness by offering him a tip for his work. But not wanting to drop
any extra cash, I rummaged through my desk until I found a gift card
to a Chilis restaurant. The little envelope it came in displayed the
amount, and Mike seemed genuinely touched to receive a card with a

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17

twenty-five dollar balance. It was a win-win; Mike got rewarded and

I didnt have to spend a cent.
The next night, Mike called me. Craig! he said. Everyone said
youre a tightwad, but this is ridiculous! I could hear loud voices and
the clatter of plates and cutlery in the background.
Oh no. My mind raced. What did I do? How did he know?
Im at Chilis with a friend and just tried to use the gift card
you gave me, Mike said, his words coming out so fast I could barely
understand him. Our bill came to just over twenty bucks.
Yes, I replied, as much of a question as a statement.
Mike didnt hold back as he unloaded on me. The stupid gift
card you gave me only had $2.43 credit on it!
I had regifted a mostly used card. I guess I earned my not-socoveted nickname, Craig the Tightwad.
Read the Labels

Im not the only one to get saddled with identity baggage. You dont
have to think long and hard to name p
eople whove been labeled.
There is Attila ... the Hun. There is Conan ... the Barbarian. Billy
... the Kid. Buffy ... the Vampire Slayer. And my childhood favorite,
Winnie ... the Pooh. Right or wrong, people are known for what they
do. Tiger Woods was known for being the best golfer in the world.
Unfortunately, because of his extracurricular activities, he has now
picked up less favorable labels. Some peoples names even become
synonymous with their crimes or failures. No one wants to be a Benedict Arnold or a Doubting Thomas.
Ive owned up to the negative nickname I earned, and Im going to

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sacrificing your false self for your sacred identit y in Christ

ask you to do the same. Even if you dont totally deserve what youve
been called, its important to acknowledge your label instead of pretending it doesnt exist or that it doesnt bother you. Whats the label
following your name?
Maybe youre Pam the People Pleaser, allowing others to walk all
over you, rarely standing up for your rights or what you really want in
life. Because of your passive nature, youve been labeled a doormat or
a pushover. Youre always concerned with what people think, worrying youve let them down, hurt their feelings, or disappointed them in
some way. Perhaps people have labeled you as insecure, self-doubting,
or apprehensive.
You might be more like Evan the Evasive, someone who postpones decision-making, always trying to keep your options open.
Commitments make you feel tied down. So p
eople say youre unreliable or uncommitted.
Or perhaps youre always getting your feelings hurt and people
tiptoe around you because youre known to be overly sensitive.
Maybe you lose your cool more easily than most. You tend to say
the first thing that pops into your mind. P
eople have labeled you as
angry and bitter, a hothead.
Or perhaps you have so much on your mind that you occasionally
forget to return a call or a text. You often are late to meetings, if you
make it at all. And youve been labeled irresponsible.
It might be that youve been the center of a few too many parties.
Youve lived on the wild side and had more than your share of latenight fun, and youve been labeled the party girl or the guy who is
nothing more than a player.

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Or maybe you dont feel like you excel at much of anything. Youre
not the worst, but you certainly arent the best. And for most of your
life, youve been called average. Mediocre.
Secret Identity

No matter what you have or havent done, Gods power is big enough
to change you. There is no sin too great for Gods grace. There is no
habit too big for his healing. There is no label too strong for his love.
Let me say it again, because I want you to believe this: Gods power is
bigger than your past.
And his power is rooted in his love for you. He knows who you
really are no matter what others label youor what you label yourself.
Whats true about you now doesnt have to be true about you later. The
goal is not to reinvent yourself by striving to be some perfect person
but to allow God to do an extreme makeover by uncovering your true
self in his image, redeemed through Christ. What
once was, no longer has to be. God can and will
Gods power
break the labels that have held you hostage.
is
bigger than
You were made for more than youve settled
your past.
for. You know your life does not reflect who you
really are deep down inside. You know theres
more, and youre tired of settling for less, but
youre just not sure how to move forward. Its time for you to learn
who you really are and what youre capable of doing across eternity.
So many competing messages vie for our attention, trying to tell
us who we are and what we should do, where we should shop and

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sacrificing your false self for your sacred identit y in Christ

how we should vote, who we should cheer for and who we should
condemn. But if weve committed to follow Jesus and have accepted
the ultimate gift card of salvation, which carries an infinite balance
over the charges of our sins, then theres only one source for knowing
who we are and how we should live.
Overcoming labels will likely mean a radical shake-up of who you
think you are. You may not even recognize yourself by the time you
finish this book! My hope is that youll discover greater harmony and
peace in your life, a tighter alignment between your beliefs and your
behavior. You will no longer be a collection of labels glued together
by your acceptance of other peoples perceptions of you. You will see
the truth about who you are and how to live in the freedom of who
you were meant to be.
Hello, My Name Is...

When I became a Christian, I carried more labels than just Craig the
Tightwad. Some people knew me as the frat boy who was the center
of the party. Those on the outside of our party world often called me
an arrogant jerk. The bottom line is, I felt like I had committed most
of the sins a person could commit. As I shared in my opening letter
to you, my self-image was lower than the belly of a worm crawling
in the dirt. Not only did I dislike who Id become; I outright hated
myself.
Thats why Gods truth about who I am transformed my life and
hope. Paul writes, Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new
person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! (2Cor. 5:17 NLT,

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emphasis mine). No matter what others have said or what youve

believed about yourself, even if the negative labels are true, God can
give you a new view of you.
He will start by giving you a new name. All through the Scriptures are multiple examples of God giving new names to replace
old identities and to reflect new realities. Isaiah 62:2 says, You will
be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will bestow
(emphasis mine).
Can you imagine: the Lord of the universe bestowing upon you a
new name to replace an old and hurtful label? God gave Abram and
Sarai new names: Abraham and Sarah, meaning father and mother
of many nations. Their new names pointed to Gods promise of the
blessings to come. God changed the name of Jacob, which meant
trickster or deceiver, to Israel, the name of Gods beloved chosen
ones.
In the book of Judges, we read about a timid leader named Gideon.
In our first impression, we see Gideon hiding in a winepress, afraid of
the enemy, the Midianites. But when an angel of the Lord appears to
Gideon, the angel calls him a mighty man of valor. Gideon, empowered by God, grew into the true meaning of his name. God will do
the same for you, but you must be willing to let go of the old name to
grow into the fullness of your true identity.
Like Gideon and Jacob, so often we cling to the safety of a familiar, false identity rather than extend ourselves to grasp who we really
are. People tell us were shy, so we never allow ourselves to take risks
to meet new people and become more social; we retreat into the safety
of our refrain that thats just who I am. Or they tell us were funny

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sacrificing your false self for your sacred identit y in Christ

and always expect us to crack a joke or deliver a witty punchline,

never challenging us to use the intellect behind that humor for something more substantive.
I observed this phenomenonand challenged itwhen I first
met my wife, Amy, more than twenty-two years ago, when she was a
sophomore in college. Besides her love for God, I was impressed with
her quick wit and sharp mind. So imagine my shock when one day
Amy casually mentioned that she was just an average student. Average student? I remember thinking, There is nothing average about this
girl! So I argued with assurance that she wasnt average at all.
Amy didnt budge on her self-proclamation of mediocrity. She dismissed my observation as the product of infatuation or flattery. When
I tried to discern why she felt this way about herself, she explained
that everyoneher parents, her teachers, her friendsa lways told
her she was a middle-of-the-road student. For as long as she could
remember, everyone agreed that she wasnt at the bottom of the class
and never would find herself at the top. Her making mostly Bs and a
handful of Cs only confirmed the label.
After several months of getting to know Amy even better, I was
convinced that she believed a lie. With a burden that I felt came from
God, I sat Amy down, looked her in the eye, and told her as boldly as
I could, Just because everyone else says something, and even believes
it, doesnt make it true. You are not average. God made you very, very
bright.
Amys eyes almost glazed over as she instinctively brushed me
off. Unfazed, I firmly but lovingly held both sides of her face and said,
Listen to me. I believe God wants you to hear this. Hear it as him

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speaking, not me. God did not make you average. You have greatness
inside of you. Its time to act like it.
Her eyes teared and locked with mine. Something changed at that
moment. I believe that instead of seeing herself as others saw her,
Amy saw herself as God sees her. She started her next semester not as
Amy the Average but with a new God-given name: Amy the Brilliant.
If my story sounds a little cheesy or melodramatic, the results speak
for themselves. For the first time ever, Amy made a 4.0all As. With
a new, God-given self-image, she never made anything lower than an
A for the rest of her college studies.
The Big Reveal

It wasnt long after this experience with Amy that God gave me a new
name as wellone that I felt inadequate to own. Shortly after joining
my church staff at the tender age of twenty-two, I passed a lady in our
office. She smiled broadly and said, Hi, Pastor Craig, and kept on
walking. Pastor Craig? Are you kidding me? I dont deserve to be called
Pastor anything!
Uncomfortable with this title, I found my boss, Nick, and told
him that I wasnt ready to be called Pastor yet. I didnt know enough.
Wasnt good enough. And still had way too much to learn. Pastor
Nick burst out laughing, put his hand on my shoulder in a fatherly
manner, and said, Pastor Craig, I remember feeling just like you.
Dont worry. Youll grow into your new name.
Those words helped change my life, and now the same is true of
you. God is going to give you a new name; you may already know it.

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sacrificing your false self for your sacred identit y in Christ

You might not feel worthy of that name or understand how it applies
to you. You may not feel deserving. Dont worry. God gave you that
new name, and you will grow into it.
You might have done a lot of things wrong and you carry the
guilt. Your new God-given name is Forgiven. Perhaps youve struggled with an ongoing sin or dont like something about yourself. Your new name is
Transformed. You might live daily with a
When God gives you a
new name, by his Spirit
hurt from the past. Youve been abused and
and through his Son, you
dont know if you can ever overcome it. You
will grow into it.
have a new name. Your name is Healed.
It could be that you know you need to
step it up and direct your family toward
Gods perfect will. Even though you dont feel ready, God calls you
Spiritual Leader. You might have battled overeating or underexercising your whole life. Accept the new name Physically Fit. If youve ever
felt like a failure as a mom, seek the God of all and own it when he
calls you Great and Godly Mom.
When God gives you a new name, even if it feels like you cant
fulfill it, dont worry. By his Spirit and through his Son, you will grow
into it.
Living on Purpose

Not only will the Lord bestow upon you a new name but your new
name carries a new purpose. Again, Gods Word is rich with examples. My favorite is Simon the fisherman because I relate to his incon-

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sistencies, blunders, and well-intentioned failures. Like most of us,

Simon didnt have the credentials expected of a spiritual hero. Many
would have described him as unstable, unpredictable, and impulsive.
But Jesus saw more in him than others saw.
And I can assure you that J esus sees more in you as well.
Calling Simon to be his disciple, Jesus gave the fisherman a new
name that carried a new purpose (see Matthew16). After Jesus plays
a round of spiritual Jeopardy! asking his followers who he really is,
Peter lands the big money with the right answer. You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God. In recognizing Jesus true identity,
Simon is stepping into a new name of his own. Jesus says, Blessed are
you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and
blood, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter,
and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will
not overcome it (Matt. 16:1718, emphasis mine). He is no longer
Simon, but Peter. He will no longer cast nets for fish, but now he will be
a fisher of men. God will use him to win p
eople into Gods kingdom.
Now, if you know anything at all about Peter, even after Jesus
declaration, Peter didnt always live up to his new name. (Like us, he
still had to grow into it.) Numerous times Peter fell short of faithfulness. When the guards confronted Jesus near the Garden of Gethsemane, rather than responding as J esus taught him, Peter resorted
to violence and sliced off a soldiers ear. (Im only guessing, but Im
pretty sure Peter was swinging for the head and missed.)
Peters most infamous failure followed on the heels of his boldest declaration. When Jesus explained that many would fall away,
Peter fought back, promising his allegiance. Even if everyone else

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in the world falls away and leaves you, Peter declared with unbending boldness, I will always be there for you and never let you down
(Mark 14:29, paraphrased). If you know the rest of the story, before
the rooster crowed, Peter denied even knowing his Lord, not once, but
three different times.
Even though Peter didnt initially live up to his new name and
purpose, God helped him grow into it. His consistent shortcomings
became his best teacher to learn about the grace and redemption of
God through Christ. Since he was forgiven much, he knew how to
preach on repentance and forgiveness. Its no wonder that God chose
Peter to be the keynote speaker on the day of Pentecost as he unwaveringly told p
eople to turn from their sins and turn to Christ.
Peter the Wishy Washy grew into his new name and his new
purposePeter the Rock, called not to fish for fish but to fish for
souls. History shows us that Peter died a martyrs death for his faith
in Christ. Tradition says that his enemies planned to crucify him on a
cross just like Jesus to mock his faith in Christ. But Peter begged them
not to, explaining that he wasnt worthy to die in the same way as
his Savior. Many Christians believe Peter was crucified upside down,
displaying his love for Christ and his unwillingness to end his life in
the same way as his Savior. Peter may have been born as quicksand,
but he died a rock.
Youre a Genius

When God helps you overcome a destructive label, hell often do what
he did through Peter. He will take one of your greatest weaknesses

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and turn it into one of your greatest strengths. It has been said that
our weakness is our geniusour greatest struggle often yields the
greatest opportunity for our growth. Thats exactly what God did
through me. My Lord transformed my heart and gave me a new name
that carried a new purpose.
The closer I became to God, the more I believed God was calling
me to a life of radical generosity. Over time, God changed my heart
from that of a tightwad to that of one who lives to give. Though it
started slowly, I grew into Gods calling. Without question, I now
know that one of my greatest purposes is to live well beneath my
means and to give sacrificially to make a difference around the
world.
This passion has overflowed into our church. Rather than selling
products that our church produces, we strive to give away as much
as we possibly can. Its hard for me to imagine, but more than one
hundred thousand pastors and leaders downloaded from our churchs
website more than three million videos, messages, transcripts, and
artwork pieces last year. Weve been honored to give away YouVersion Bible apps by the millions every month. Our church is blessed
to partner with hundreds of other churches who show my weekend
teachings every week to their churches, all free of charge.
I may be a penny-pincher, but Amy and I are blessed to give away
as much of our income as possible. Forgive me if this sounds boastfult hats not my intentbut weve been privileged to give away
my book royalties, honorariums, and speaking income to bless ministries around the world. God took my greatest weakness (selfishness)
and turned it into one of my favorite strengths (generosity). Craig the

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Tightwad is no more. God calls me Craig the Generous, and Im still

growing into my new name and purpose.
I pray you experience Gods grace as he removes a cruel label that
youve owned. Perhaps youve gone through life struggling with a certain addiction. Youve tried to kick it but always seemed to fail. Those
around you know you as the Addict. But God will turn your weakness to strength. As the Overcomer, your new name, you will live for
a higher purpose.
As God helps you defeat what once held you, you can do the same
for others. Maybe youve been overweight most of your life and youve
been labeled Fat. God can change your name to Fit. As you learn to
eat right, exercise regularly, and tone your body, you can help others
find the same freedom youve found.
Perhaps youre not good with money. Youve lived with the name
Broke or Struggling. Do not accept this as who you are! Have hope in
God. You might start by studying Dave Ramseys teachings (I know
a guy with Daves face tattooed on his arm) and over time, become
financially free. Then God can use you to help others find the same
freedom you know.
With your new name, God will always give you a new purpose.
Revise the Future

Not only will God give you a new name and a new purpose, but by his
grace and through his love, he will give you a new future. Jeremiah
expresses the goodness of Gods vision for us this way: For I know
the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and

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not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jer. 29:11).
While its easy to believe the worst, God wants you to believe the best.
He never promises a trouble-free life of leisure, but he does promise
never to leave you and always to love you.
As you prayerfully banish labels from your life, you may have to
alter your thinking about those labels implication on your future. You
might have heard, Youre always the bridesmaid and never the bride.
This seemingly harmless phrase might rob you of the hope of a blessed
marriage. Dont let it. Maybe others have said that youre one who simply
cant commit. Or your divorce renders you
useless in Gods church. Brush away those
lies like dandruff from your shoulders.
When we know who we
are and grow into our
If youve struggled in your marriage,
purpose, God revises the
you might be tempted to believe you will
way we see our future.
always struggle. Remember all things are
possible with God. If you feel like an inadequate parent, believing you dont have what
it takes to raise godly children, cast down the lie. When we know who we
are and grow into our purpose, God revises the way we see our future.
My favorite example of Gods redemption toward a better future
is the story of a lady with a shady life. This woman is mentioned eight
times in the Bible. Six of the eight times, shes identified with the
darkness of her sultry profession as Rahab the Prostitute. Through
her trade, Rahab had become a successful businesswoman running
a profitable operation on the outskirts of Jericho. After giving her
body to countless men, Im certain she felt the pain that every person
in such conditions eventually feels. Imagine her inward thoughts in

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sacrificing your false self for your sacred identit y in Christ

dark, lonely, honest moments. Im used goods. No one will ever want
me. After all Ive done, Ill never find real love. Men want me for only
one thing. If there is a God, he could never love me.
If you know the amazing story, she encounters two of Israels
spies, who have come to check out her town. Rahab has heard numerous stories about the miracles of the God of Israel. Likely out of a
desire to know more about their God, Rahab risks her life to hide the
spies. If anyone in her town discovers and reports her crime, Rahab
will immediately be executed for treason. Joshua 2:11 captures a beautiful picture of her desire for and curiosity about God: When we
heard of [all that God had done], our hearts melted in fear ... for the
Lord your God is God in heaven above and on the earth below.
Somewhere along the way, the God of Israel becomes the God of a
prostitute.
Scripture makes it crystal clear that our grace-filled God gave
the sin-stained woman a new hope and a new future. Though most
would have believed Rahab would never marry well, she met a Godfearing man named Salmon, who loved her faithfully. And according
to the first book of the New Testament, Rahab had a great, great,
great, great, great-grandson named Jesus of Nazareth. Thats right,
from the lineage of a prostitute came the Savior of the world.
Isnt it time to peel off the many labels that cling to your reputation and uncover who you really are? Its not what you were that matters, but what you can become. And there is no name given to you that
is more powerful than the name of J esus. If God can bring J esus into
the world through the lineage of a prostitute, imagine what he wants
to do through you.

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