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Starting Over.

Revamping a story I started working on quite a while ago. Looking for critique before I even get close to putting it back up again.
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© Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
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Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
0% found this document useful (0 votes)
100 views

Starting Over.

Revamping a story I started working on quite a while ago. Looking for critique before I even get close to putting it back up again.
Copyright
© Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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DISCOVERY

Warframe. That was the name of a projected submitted exactly three centuries ago today. Space was still relatively a matter of hardly any concern to international politics. The budget for another moon exploration by NASA had been miniscule, but it was managed. Fortunately, they were also able to bring more sophisticated tools than had been available some decades ago, when the first lunar landing had been achieved. It was not an altogether ground breaking project it was almost like a long overdue checkup in its attempt to further understanding about Luna. What they had discovered was far from normal; far from anything anyone could have expected.

The gray, powdery dust shifted like fine sand underneath Jimmys boot as he took another short step. Where his foot had been, was now a clear print. It caught his eye, and he smiled. Perhaps Ill leave my own legacy, Neil, he thought. His eyes lifted and grazed the grey, dusty landscape. Rolling slopes stretched ahead of him, eventually curving downward to mesh with the deep black above. It was hardly the fells of rural England, but he had no complaints. Far higher than any hill could reachfar higher than any mountain - higher than anything on the blue marble that hovered in the great black. It looked so small, at this distance. A smile touched his lips. Truly a marble, in the cosmic marble bag of the Milky Way. He took a few more slow steps; the terrifying and fascinating thought of giving one strong jump and floating away constantly present. He noticed again the way the dust beneath his boots moved in such that he could almost feel that he was on the beach. A massive, waterless beach. And he was wearing an oversized full body swim suit. The thought made him grin. His foot slipped, and he tumbled. But to his horror, what met his outstretched gloves was not the soft gray dust. What greeted his hands and eyes was a looming blackness, which eagerly reached up to embrace him as he fell. Fright surged through his veins; his hands scrabbled at the rock a few feet in front of him. Would his gloves rip against it? Fuck, he hoped not. He continued to drop, specks of rock and dust bouncing off of his faceplate. His fingers finally felt a jut in the stone. He held onto it for dear life, feeling a small jolt as his body ceased its drop suddenly. Feeling himself swing into the wall, the face of his helmet scratched against it with a blood curdling scraping noise. He held his breath for a few seconds and when there was no shrill hissing noise of air escaping his suit, let it out in what would be the deepest sigh of relief of his life. If he

made it back, he swore hed shake the hand of every man and woman that had designed this thing. But he wasnt out of danger yet, he knew. Slowly, he brushed the front of his suit with his free hand, looking for his flashlight. Unclipping it, he clicked it on and swept it around him, pointing it down as well, expecting to see a gaping maw of black. Had the situation been less dire he would have rolled his eyes. Letting go of the wall, he bent his knees and landed gently on the ground that had been a mere three feet below him. He was in some kind of narrow crevice. The walls were only about ten feet apart, and their black faces rose high above him. Craning his neck, he glimpsed the dim light of the sun touching the very top of the wall in front of him. Good God, thats got to be at least fifteen meters, he thought. How he would get back up there escaped him, and worry began to twist his stomach into knots. Pointing the flashlight back down, he could not spot its light for a moment. Confused, he jiggled it. It was functioning correctly, as he saw the light flicker on the wall to the left and right but in the middleblack. Intrigued, he took a tentative step forward. And another. No rock met him. Turning his head, he pointed the light behind him, illuminating the wall. Looking back in front of him, the light disappeared nothere it was. Dim, but the way it angled made it clear there was a turn. What is this, a tunnel? he wondered. His radio clicked and static burst over the speaker, startling the ever living shit out of him. Harrington, are you there? Come in, Harrington, came a voice. Im here, he replied, thankful to hear his partners voice again. Status? came the response. Thats going to be an inconclusive, Goodman, Harrington said. There was a pause. His radio clicked again. Care to elaborate on that, Jimmy? Goodman said. Harrington hesitated. How could he best explain this? He pressed the transmit button. Well, Goodman, Ive fallen and I cant get up. Letting go of the button, he continued ahead through the passageway. There was no reply for a good ten seconds. He could already see Goodman in his minds eye, calculating and processing like the machine that man was. He smirked to himself. Not that Goodman altogether appreciated the term of endearment. His radio clicked again, finally. Location? Goodman asked. Dont rightly know, bud. Ill get back to you on that, Harrington responded, delicately edging himself through a particularly narrow part of the tunnel; so far the walls had given ample space for walking, but now they were barely four feet apart. Where the ceiling had previously been about ten feet above him, it was now hardly more than one. How much longer does this go? he wondered. Not much longer, as he would discover. The passage turned sharply to the left

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