Ways To Annoy Your Roommate

or just about anybody! 1. Repeat thoughtfully the last word of everything your victim says e.g. Your roommate! "#ow are you doing today$" You! "Today.... Today......"% &. 'ontinuously refer to your roommate using terms of endearment sweetchee(s) honeybuns%. *lap him+her in the face if s+he ever does the same. ,. -ill several people. *tore the corpses underneath your friend.s bed. 'all the police. /. 0ecome 1orrest 2ump. 3. 4ncessantly rant about the government.s attempts to control our minds by poisoning us with 5ihydrous 6ono7ide. 4f your roommate tries to e7plain that 5ihydrous 6ono7ide 8 #&9 8 Water) e7claim "#A!! T#AT.* W#AT T#:Y +WA;T+ Y9< T9 T#4;-!!!!" =. 4ntensely study the complete list of ways to annoy your roommate. 1orm a discussion group with your roommate. 2ive tests. >. *tart a food drive around campus to feed your roommate. 'omment often on how fat s+he.s getting. ?. Read nothing but "#uman 'alculator" boo(s. 'onsistently ma(e mista(e.s on simple math e.g. "& @ & 8 ..,$ ;o) 3! ;o......."% A. *witch the sheets on your beds while s+he is at class. 1B. Twitch a lot. 11. Cretend to tal( while pretending to be asleep. 1&. *teal a fish tan(. 1ill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Tal( to them. 1,. 0ecome a subgenius. 1/. 4nject his+her Twin(ies with a mi7ture of 5e7atrim and 6*2. 13. Dearn to levitate. While your roommate is loo(ing away) float up out of your seat. When s+he turns to loo() fall bac( down and grin. 1=. *pea( in tongues. 1>. 6ove you roommate.s personal effects around. *tart subtilely. 2radually wor( up to big things) and eventually glue everything s+he owns to the ceiling. 1?. Wal( and tal( bac(wards. 1A. *pend all your money on Eolt 'ola. 5rin( it all. *tac( the cans in the middle of your room. ;umber them.

&B. *pend all your money on transformers. Clay with them at night. 4f your roommate says anything) tell him+her with a straight face) They.re more than meets the eye." &1. Recite entire movie scripts e.g. "The Road Warrior)" "Repo 6an) "'asablanca)"% almost inaudibly. &&. -ill roaches with a mon(ey wrench while playing Wagnerian arias on a (aFoo. 4f your roommate complains) e7plain that it is for your performance art class or hit him+her with the wrench%. &,. 'hain yourself to your roommate.s bed. 2et him+her to bring you food. &/. 2et a computer. Deave it on when you are not using it. Turn it off when you are. &3. As( your roommate if your family can move in "just for a couple of wee(s." &=. 1a(e a heart attac(. When your roommate gets the paramedics to come) pretend nothing happened. &>. :at glass. &?. *mo(e ballGpoint pens. &A. *mile. All the time. ,B. 0urn all your waste paper while eyeing your roommate suspiciously. ,1. #ide a bunch of potato chips and #o #os in the bottom of a trash can. When you get hungry) root around in the trash. 1ind the food) and eat it. 4f your roommate empties the trash before you get hungry) demand that s+he reimburse you. ,&. Deave a declaration of war on your roommate.s des(. 4nclude a list of grievances. ,,. *hoot rubber bands at your roommate while his+her bac( is turned) and then loo( away Huic(ly. ,/. 5ye all your underwear lime green. ,3. 0uy three loaves of stale bread. 2row mold in the closet. ,=. #ide your underwear and soc(s in your roommate.s closet. Accuse him+her of stealing it. ,>. Remove your door. *hip it to your roommate.s parents postage due%. ,?. Whenever your roommate wal(s in) wait one minute and then stand up. Announce that you are going to ta(e a shower. 5o so. -eep this up for three wee(s. ,A. Array thirteen toothbrushes of different colors on your dresser. Refuse to discuss them. /B. Caint your half of the room blac(. 9r paisley. /1. Whenever he+she is about to fall asleep) as( Huestions that start with "5idja ever wonder why....$" 0e creative. /&. *have one eyebrow. /,. Cut your mattress underneath your bed. *leep down under there and pile your dirty clothes on the empty bed frame. 4f your roommate comments) mutter "2otta save space)" twenty times while twitching violently.

//. Cut horseradish in your shoes. /3. *helve all your boo(s with the spines facing the wall. 'omplain loudly that you can never find the boo( that you want. /=. Always flush the toilet three times. />. *ubsist entirely on pic(les for a wee(. Iomit often. /?. 0uy a copy of 1ran(ie Yan(ovic.s "Cennsylvania Col(a)" and play it at least = hours a day. 4f your roommate complains) e7plain that it.s an assignment for your primitive cultures class. /A. 2ive him+her an allowance. 3B. Disten to radio static. 31. 9pen your window shades before you go to sleep each night. 'lose them as soon as you wa(e up. 3&. 'ry a lot. 3,. *end secret admirer notes on your roommate.s :mail. 3/. 'lip your fingernails and toenails and (eep them in a baggie. Deave the baggie near your computer and snac( from it while studying. 4f he+she wal(s by) grab the bag close and eye him+her suspiciously. 33. Caste used (leene7es to his+her walls. 3=. Whenever your roommate comes in from the shower) lower your eyes and giggle to yourself. 3>. 4f you get in before your roommate) go to sleep in his+her bed. 3?. Whenever you go to bed) start jumping up and down on it. 5o so for a while) then jump really high and act li(e you hit your head on the ceiling. 'rumple onto your bed and fa(e li(e you were (noc(ed out. <se this method to fall asleep every night for a month. 3A. 4f your roommate goes away for a wee(end) change the loc(s. =B. Whenever his+her parents call and as( for your roommate) breathe into the phone for 3 seconds then hang up. =1. Whenever he+she goes to shower) drop whatever you.re doing) grab a towel) and go shower too. =&. 1ind out your roommate.s post office bo7 code. 9pen it and ta(e his+her mail. 5o this for one month. After that) send the mail to him+her by <C*. =,. 'ollect all of your pencil shavings and sprin(le them on the floor. =/. 'reate an imaginary cat for a pet. Tal( to it every night) act li(e you.re holding it) (eep a litter bo7 under your des(. After two wee(s) say that your cat is missing. Cut up signs in your dorm) blame your roommate. =3. 'all safety J security whenever your roommate turns up his+her music. ==. 1ollow him+her around on wee(ends.

=>. *it on the floor and tal( to the wall. =?. Whenever the phone rings) get up and answer the door. =A. Whenever someone (noc(s) answer the phone. >B. Whenever your roommate is wal(ing through the room) bump into him+her. >1. *tare at your roommate for five minutes out of every hour. 5on.t say anything) just stare. >&. Tell your roommate that someone called and said that it was really important but you can.t remember who it was. >,. Det mice loose in his+her room. >/. 2ive each of your walls a different name. Whenever you can.t answer a problem) as( each of your walls. Write down their responses) then as( your ceiling for the final answer. 'omplain to your roommate that you don.t trust your ceiling. >3. Ta(e your roommate.s papers and hand them in as your own. >=. *(ip to the bathroom. >>. Ta(e all of your roommate.s furniture and build a fort. 2uard the fort for an entire wee(end. >?. 2ather up a garbage bag full of leaves and throw them in a pile in his+her room. Eump in them. 'omment about the beautiful foliage. >A. When you wal( into your room) turn off your lights. Turn them on when you leave. ?B. Whenever you.re on the phone and he+she wal(s in) hang up immediately without saying anything and crawl under your des(. *it there for two minutes than call whoever it was bac(. ?1. 4nsist on writing the entire lyrics to American Cie on your ceiling above your bed. *ing them every night before you go to bed. ?&. 0urn incense. ?,. :at moths. ?/. 0uy *ea 6on(eys and grow them. ;ame one after your roommate. Announce the ne7t day that that one died. ;ame another one after your roommate. The ne7t day say that it died. -eep this up until they all die. ?3. 'ollect 'hiaGCets. ?=. Refuse to communicate in anything but sign language. ?>. :at a bag of marshmallows before you go to bed. The ne7t day) spray three bottles of whip cream all over your floor. *ay you got sic(. ??. Wipe deodorant all over your roommate.s walls. ?A. 4f you (now that he+she is in the room) come barging in out of breath. As( if they saw a fat bald na(ed Tibetan man run through carrying a hundred dollar bill. Run bac( out swearing.

AB. Deave apple cores on his+her bed. A1. 5on.t ever flush. A&. #ang stuffed animals with nooses from your ceiling. Whenever you wal( by them mutter) "You shouldn.t have done that to me." A,. Dic( him+her while they are asleep. A/. 5ress in drag. A3. 4nsist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "*lim Eim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach every time your roommate wal(s in. 4f he+she as(s about the wrappers) say you (now nothing about them. A=. 2et some hair. 5isperse it around your roommate.s head while he+she is asleep. -eep a pair of scissors by your bed. *nic(er at your roommate every morning. A>. :very time your roommate wal(s in yell) "#ooray! You.re bac(!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards) (eep loo(ing at your watch and saying) "*houldn.t you be going somewhere$" A?. Trash the room when your roommate.s not around. Then leave and wait for your roommate to come bac(. When he+she does) wal( in and act surprised. *ay) "<hGoh) it loo(s li(e) T#:Y) were here again." AA. :very time you see your roommate yell) "You son of a..." and (ic( him+her in the stomach. Then buy him+her some ice cream. 1BB.*et your roommate.s bed on fire. ApologiFe and e7plain that you.ve been watching too much "0eavis J 0utthead." 5o it again. Tell him+her that you.re not sorry because this time) they deserved it. 1B1.Cut your glasses on before you go to bed. Ta(e them off as soon as you wa(e up. 4f your roommate as(s) e7plain that they are 6agic 5ream 2lasses. 'omplain that you.ve been having terrible nightmares. 1B&.:at lots of "Duc(y 'harms." Cic( out all the yellow moons and stoc(pile them in the closet. 4f your roommate inHuires) e7plain that visitors are coming) but you can.t say anything more) or you.ll have to face the conseHuences. 1B,.*et up meetings with your roommate.s faculty advisor. 4nHuire about his+her academic potential. Ta(e lots of notes) and then give your roommate a full report. 4nsist that he+she do the same. 1B/."5rin(" a raw egg for brea(fast every morning. :7plain that you are in training. :at a doFen donuts every night. 1B3.:very Thursday) pac( up everything you own and tell your roommate you.re going home. 'ome bac( in an hour and e7plain that no one was home. <npac( everything and go to sleep. 1B=.:very time you wa(e up) start yelling) "9h) no! Where am 4$!" and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go bac( to bed. 4f your roommate as(s) say you don.t (now what he+she is tal(ing about. 1B>.5raw a tiny) blac( spot on your arm. 6a(e it bigger every day. Doo( at it and say) "4t.s spreading) it.s spreading."

1B?.0uy a 6c5onald.s "#appy 6eal" for lunch every day. :at the straw and the nap(in. Throw everything else away. 1BA.0uy a plant. *leep with it at night. Tal( to it. After a few wee(s) start to argue with it loudly. Then yell) "4 can.t live in the same room with you)" storm out of the room and slam the door. 2et rid of the plant) but (eep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever again. 11B.0uy a Eac(G4nGTheG0o7. :very day) turn the handle until the clown pops out. *cream continuously for twenty minutes. 111.#ang up pictures of chic(ens all over the room. 4f your roommate eats eggs) yell at him+her and call him+her a cannibal. 11&.0uy some (nives. *harpen them every night. While you.re doing so) loo( at your roommate and mutter) "*oon) soon...." 11,.Doc( the door while your roommate is out. When he+she comes bac( and tries to unloc( it) yell) "5on.t come in) 4.m na(ed!" -eep this up for several hours. When you finally let your roommate in) immediately ta(e off all of your clothes) and ignore your roommate. 11/.0ring in potential "new" roommates from around campus. 2ive them tours of the room and the building. #ave them as( about your roommate in front of him+her) and reply) "9h) him+her$ #e+she won.t be here much longer." 113.4f your roommate comes home after midnight) hit him+her on the head with a rolling pin. 4mmediately go to bed) muttering) "<ngrateful little..." 11=.Cile dirty dishes in your roommate.s bed. 4nsist that you don.t (now how they got there. 11>.'ollect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. -eep one pencil on the other side of the room. Daugh at the pencil. 11?.1eign a serious illness for two wee(s. #ave a priest come to your room and visit you. Write out a will) leaving everything to your roommate. 9ne day) miraculously "recover." 4nsist that your roommate write out a will) leaving everything to you. :very time he+she coughs) e7citedly say) "9ooh) are you dying$" 11A.-eep a tarantula in a jar for three days. Then get rid of the tarantula. 4f your roommate as(s about it) say) "9h) he.s around here) somewhere." 1&B.Tell your roommate) "4.ve got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover) say you can.t remember what the message was. Dater on) say) "9h) yeah) 4 remember!" Cretend to faint again. -eep this up for several wee(s. 1&1.0owl inside the room. *et up tournaments with other people in the building. Award someone a trophy. 4f your roommate wants to bowl too) e7plain that he+she needs bowling shoes. 1&&.Wal( bac(wards all the time. Then pretend to trip and hurt yourself. 1a(e an injury and go through a long) painful recovery. *tart wal(ing bac(wards again. 1&,.While your roommate is out) glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate wal(s in) sit on the floor) hold your head) and moan. 1&/.:7plain to your roommate that you.re going to be housing a prospective student in the near future. 9ne day) bring in a pig. 4f your roommate protests) hug the pig and tell your roommate that he+she hurt its feelings. Watch T.I with the pig) eating lots of bacon.

1&3.6a(e a sandwich. 5on.t eat it) leave it on the floor. 4gnore the sandwich.Wait until your roommate gets rid of it) and then say) "#ey) where is my sandwich!$" 'omplain loudly that you are hungry. 1&=.Cunch a hole in the T.I. *it and watch it anyway) complaining about the poor picture Huality. 1&>.Wear a cape. *tand in front of an open window for about an hour every day. Then) one day) when your roommate is gone) go outside and lie down underneath the window) pretending to be hurt) and wait for your roommate to return. The ne7t day) start standing in front of the window again. 1&?.'ollect potatoes. Caint faces on them and give them names. ;ame one after your roommate. *eparate your roommate.s potato from the others. Wait a few days) and then ba(e your roommate.s potato and eat it. :7plain to your roommate) "#e just didn.t belong." 1&A.1ill an empty shaving cream can with whipped cream. <se it to shave) and then spray some into your mouth. Dater on) complain that you feel sic(. 'ontinue this process for several wee(s. 1,B.'over your bed with a tent. Dive inside it for a wee(. 4f your roommate as(s) e7plain that "4t.s a jungle out there." 2et your roommate to bring you food and water. 1,1.-eep a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the room. Doo( at it with fear for a few days. Then stay out of the room entirely) opening the door only a crac( and whispering to your roommate) "Csst! 4s it gone$" 1,&.0rea( the window with a roc(. 4f your roommate protests) e7plain that you were hot. 9pen and close the bro(en window as you normally would. 1,,.Throw darts at a bare wall. All of a sudden) act e7cited) telling your roommate that you hit the bulls eye. 1,/.*end flowers to your roommate) with a card that says) "4.m sorry. 4t won.t happen again." When you see them) start ripping up the flowers. Repeat the process for a few wee(s. 1,3.'all your roommate "'lyde" by accident. *tart doing so every so often. 4ncrease the freHuency over the ne7t few wee(s) until you are calling him "'lyde" all the time. 4f your roommate protests) say) "4.m sorry. 4 won.t do that anymore) 6urray." 1,=.#ire a night watchman to guard the room while you are sleeping. 1,>.6ove everything to one side of the room. As( your roommate if he (nows how much an elephant weighs) and loo( at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern. 1,?.Cractice needlepoint every night. At one point) grab your thumb and scream) "9wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" 'ry hysterically for a few minutes) and then go to bed. *ob and sniff all night. 1,A.When your roommate comes in) pretend that you are on the phone) screaming angrily and shouting obscenities. After you hang up) say) "That was your mom. *he said she.d call bac(." 1/B.:very time your roommate comes in) immediately turn off the lights and go to bed. When he+she leaves) get up and loudly yell) "9(ay) guys) you can come out now." 1/1.*tart wearing a crown) all the time. 4f your roommate tells you to ta(e it off) say) "What do you thin( you are$ A (ing$" 1/&.*it in front of a chess board for hours) saying nothing) doing nothing. Then) loo( up and say) "4 thin( this game goes a lot faster with two players."

1/,.Tal( bac( to your "Rice -rispies." All of a sudden) act offended) throw the bowl on the floor and (ic( it. Refuse to clean it up) e7plaining) ";o) 4 want to watch them suffer." 1//.'hange the loc(s on the door. 5on.t let your roommate in unless he+she says the secret word. 'hange the secret word often. 4f your roommate can.t guess the secret word) ma(e him+her pay a tithe. 1/3.*catter stuffed animals around the room. Cut party hats on them. Clay loud music. When your roommate wal(s in) turn off the music) ta(e off the party hats) put away the stuffed animals) and say) "Well) it was fun while it lasted." 1/=.#ang a tire swing from the ceiling. Act li(e a mon(ey. 4f someone besides your roommate comes in) cease acting li(e a mon(ey and claim that the tire swing was your roommate.s idea. When you and your roommate are alone again) continue acting li(e a mon(ey. 1/>.<nplug everything in the room e7cept for one toaster. Cray to the toaster. 0ring it gifts. Throw some of your roommate.s possessions out the window. *ay that the toaster made you do it. 1/?.'hallenge your roommate to a duel. 4f he+she refuses) claim that you have won by forfeit and therefore conHuered his+her side of the room. 4nsist that he+she remove all of his+her possessions immediately. 1/A.*ign your roommate up for various activities 'ampus tour guide) blood donor) organ donor%. 13B.*tart dressing li(e an 4ndian. 4f your roommate inHuires) claim that you are getting in touch with your ;ativeGAmerican roots. 4f your roommate accuses you of not having any ;ativeGAmerican roots) claim that he+she has offended your people and put a curse on your roommate. 131.Wear your shoes on the wrong feet) all the time. 'onstantly complain that your feet hurt. 13&.#it your roommate on the head with a bric(. 'laim that you were trying to (ill a mosHuito. 13,.*teal something valuable of your roommate.s. 4f he+she as(s about it) tell him+her that you traded it for some magic beans. 2ive some beans to your roommate. 13/.4nstead of turning off the light switch) smash the lightbulb with a hammer. Cut a new bulb in the ne7t day. 'omplain often about the cost of lightbulbs. 133.Iideotape yourself hammering a nail into a wall for a while) and then stopping. Clay the tape in your room. Right before the hammering stops on the videotape) loo( at the screen and say) "5on.t do that." 13=.0uy a lamp. Tell your roommate it.s a magic lamp) with a genie inside it. *pend a wee( thin(ing about what to wish for. At the end of the wee() report that someone has released the genie from the lamp. 0lame your roommate. 13>.Whenever your roommate brushes his+her teeth) watch him+her do so. Ta(e notes. Write a paper on it) and circulate it around campus. 4f your roommate protests) say) "The people have a right to (now!" 13?.'ollect potato chips that you thin( loo( li(e famous people. 1ind one that loo(s li(e your roommate. 0urn it) and e7plain) "4t had to be done." 13A.Read the phone boo( out loud and e7citedly "1ran( Eohnson! 9h) wow! ?,>GA/A/! #oly cow!"%

1=B.*hadow bo7 several times a day. 9ne day) wal( in loo(ing depressed. 4f your roommate as(s what.s wrong) e7plain that your shadow can.t bo7 with you anymore due to an injury. As( your roommate if you can bo7 with his+her shadow. 1=1.When you wal( into the room) loo( at your roommate in disgust and yell) "9h) you.re here!" Wal( away yelling and cursing. 1=&.Cut up flyers around the building) reporting that your roommate is missing. 9ffer a reward for his+her safe return. 1=,.0uy a watermelon. 5raw a face on it and give it a name. As( your roommate if the watermelon can sleep in his+her bed. 4f your roommate says no) drop the watermelon out the window. 6a(e it loo( li(e a suicide. *ay nasty things about your roommate at the funeral. 1=/.5raw a chal( outline on the floor. When your roommate comes in) say) "5on.t worry. 4t.s not what you thin(." 4f he+she as(s about it again) immediately change the subject. 1=3.5rin( a cup of coffee every morning. When you finish it) gnaw on the mug for about ten minutes. Then) loo( at your roommate) immediately put the mug away) and Huic(ly leave the room. 1==.Caint a tunnel on the wall li(e they do in cartoons. :very day) hit your head as you attempt to crawl through it. #old your head and grumble) "*tupid road runner...." 1=>.Deave memos on your roommate.s bed that say things li(e) "4 (now what you did)" and "5on.t thin( you can fool me." *ign them in blood. 1=?.#old a raffle) offering your roommate as first priFe. 4f he+she protests) tell him+her that it.s all for charity. 1=A.6a(e cue cards for your roommate. 2et them out whenever you.d li(e to have a conversation. 1>B.Tal( li(e a pirate) all the time. Threaten to ma(e your roommate wal( the plan( if he+she doesn.t swab the dec(. Arrrrrrrrr! 1>1.*et up about twenty plants in an organiFed formation. When your roommate wal(s in) pretend to be in the middle of delivering a speech to the plants. Whisper to them) "We.ll continue this later)" while eyeing your roommate suspiciously. 1>&.0uy a telescope. *it on your bed and loo( across the room at your roommate through the telescope. When you.re not using the telescope) act li(e your roommate is too far away for you to see. 1>,.-eep some worms in a shoe bo7. When doing homewor() go and consult with the worms every so often. Then become angry) shouting at the worms that they.re stupid and they don.t (now what they.re tal(ing about. 1>/.Watch "Csycho" every day for a month. Then act e7cited every time your roommate goes to ta(e a shower. 1>3.Wear a paper hat. :very time your roommate wal(s in) say) "Welcome to 6c5onalds) can 4 ta(e your...9h) it.s just you." Ta(e off the hat) sit) and pout. 1>=.2o through your roommate.s te7tboo(s with a red pen) changing things and ma(ing random corrections. 4f your roommate protests) tell him+her that you just couldn.t ta(e it anymore. 1>>.Deave the room at random) (noc( on the door) and wait for your roommate to let you bac( in. 4f he+she as(s about it) go off on a tangent about the importance of good manners. 1>A.#ang a

horseshoe above the door. 6a(e up stories about having had good luc(. Then) ta(e the horseshoe down and wrap your head in bandages. When you see your roommate) loo( above the door where the horseshoe used to be) hold your head) and mutter) "*tupid horseshoe...." 1>?.'arve a jac(GoGlantern. 'omplain to your roommate that the jac(GoGlantern has been staring at you. The ne7t day) tell your roommate that the jac(GoGlantern thin(s he+she has been staring at it. 'onfide in your roommate that you really don.t li(e the jac(GoGlantern) but you can.t convince it to move out. 1>A.As soon as your roommate turns the light off at night) begin singing famous operas as loud as you can. When your roommate turns on the light) loo( around and pretend to be confused. 1?B.#ang a bas(etball net on the wall. 'hallenge your refrigerator to bas(etball games) and play them in front of your roommate. 5o so for about a month. 'onfide in your roommate that you thin( the refrigerator has been ta(ing steroids. 1?1.5rin( lots of lemonade. Tal( obno7iously for hours about how much you love lemonade. Then) one day) paint your face yellow. 1rom then on) complain about how much you hate lemonade. 1?&.Date at night) start conversations that begin with) "Remember the good old days) when we used to..." and ma(e up stories involving you and your roommate. 1?,.Whenever your roommate sneeFes) go and hide in the closet for about an hour. Doo( around nervously for the rest of the day. 1?/.*it and stare at your roommate for hours. 0ring others in to join you. :at peanuts) throwing a few at your roommate. Then say) "0oy) these Foos just aren.t what they used to be." 1?3.Tell your roommate that your toe hurts) and that means there.s going to be an earthHua(e soon. While your roommate is out) trash everything on his+her side of the room. When he+she returns) e7plain that the earthHua(e hit) but only on one side of the room. 1?=.0uy a gun. 'lean it every day. 9ne day) put a bandGaid on your forehead) and refuse to discuss the gun ever again. 1?>.0uy a lobster. Cretend to play cards with it. 'omplain to your roommate that the lobster is ma(ing up his own rules. 1??.6a(e panca(es every morning) but don.t eat them. 5raw faces on them) and toss them in the closet. Watch them for several hours each day. 'omplain to your roommate that your "panca(e farm" isn.t evolving into a selfGsufficient community. 'onfide in your roommate that you thin( the (ing of the panca(es has been ta(ing bribes. 1?A.While you are ironing) pretend to burn yourself. *tart a garbage can fire in the middle of the room. Toss the iron inside. 4f your roommate objects) e7plain that you are just trying to get even. 1AB.0uy some turtles. Caint numbers on their bac(s. Race them down the hall. 1A1.'reate an army of animal crac(ers. Cut them through basic training. *et up little chec(points around the room. Tell your roommate that the camel spotted him+her in a restricted area and said not to do it again. As( your roommate to apologiFe to the camel. 1A&.Cut out a plate of coo(ies at night. Tell your roommate that they.re for the *andman. Ta(e a bite out of one of the coo(ies while your roommate is asleep. The ne7t morning) accuse your roommate of having bitten one of the coo(ies. 4f he+she tries to tell you the *andman did it) insist that you

(now what the *andman.s teeth mar(s loo( li(e and that those are) in fact) not the *andman.s teeth mar(s. 2rumble angrily and storm out of the room. 1A,.*teal a tire from a fraternity lawn. 0ring it to your room. 0athe it. ;ame it. *leep in it. 1A/.Deave your room and loc( the door. Croceed to bang on the door) screaming) "Det me in." 2et mad at your roommate for loc(ing you out. 1A3.Tal( on the phone a lot. 5on.t pic( up the receiver. 1A=.Tal( to your roommate but don.t let any sound come out. 2et mad at him+her for not listening to you. 1A>.As( your roommate) if 0ob) your invisible friend) can stay the night. 1A?.As( your roommate if s+he can turn down the music. :7plain that 0ob has a headache. 1AA.*tart a brothel. &BB.'onstantly slip and fall GG on your carpet. &B1.4nvite the 5ean to sleep over. &B&.4nvite the school Cresident to sleep over. &B,.4nvite your roommate to sleep over. &B/.Det your alarm cloc( go off and refuse to turn it off. 4f your roommate comments) pretend not to hear anything. &B3.Wal( into walls. &B=.Deave little notes in the shower for him+her. &B>.:very time you ta(e a shower) yell audibly) "4.m melting) 4.m melting!" &B?.When your roommate has friends over) get under your covers and stare at them through a little hole in the covers. <se a telescope. &BA.When you leave the room) put on a screen saver that says) "4.m watching you." &1B.6a(e a care pac(age for your roommate. Deave the room and ride bac( and forth outside your window saying) "*peedy 5elivery!" until s+he comes out. &11.6ove very stiffly and grin. Tell your roommate that you.ve turned into 2umby. &1&.*tudy computer science and listen to techno while tal(ing about robots ta(ing over the world. &1,.*leep with a banana or lemon% and refuse to throw it out even after it is rotten. &1/.Wear a silly hat. &13.Tell him+her that you.re committing suicide) and let him+her find some dynamite under your bed. &1=.Deave lots of pills in your drawer) and wal( around li(e a Fombie.

&1>.6ove your bed around the room once a day) and leave it in a new position every night. &1?.Doc( your door every time you go through it. Tell him+her that you.re afraid of aliens. &1A.:at raw pasta for dinner. &&B.Cut bric(s in the middle of the room) and e7plain to him+her that you intend to ma(e a fireplace to save electricity. &&1.Write letters to yourself from famous people. 6ail them to yourself. &&&.*pread Iaseline all over your room and then tell your roommate you.re trying to loosen up the place! *ubmitted by! *cott Adelmund &&,.*ing 6ichael Eac(son songs while putting ma(e up on. *ubmitted by! ;ic( *tadlin stadlinnKhotmail.com% &&/.6a(e a stac( of bric(s in the middle of the room. Throw all the bric(s on the floor. Wrap bandages around your legs and move around in a wheel chair for several wee(s. Crotest loudly and often to your roomate that he did not have to throw bric(s on you. *tart leaving revenge notes for him in the shower. *ubmitted by! 6att Wenic( mwenic(Kdigdat.com% &&3.-eep po(ing your roommate in the shoulder while repeatedly saying) "5oes thin bug you$" *ubmitted by! *am WarmetalKA9D.com%