Dating abuse or dating violence is defined as the perpetration or threat of an act of violence by at least one member of an unmarried couple

on the other member within the context of dating or courtship. It is also when one partner tries to maintain power and control over the other through abuse/violence. This abuse/violence can take a number of forms: sexual assault, sexual harassment, threats, physical violence, verbal, mental, oremotional abuse, social sabotage, and stalking. It can include psychological abuse, emotional blackmail, sexual abuse, physical abuse andpsychological manipulation.[ ! "ating violence crosses all racial, age, economic and social lines. The #enter for $elationship %buse %wareness describes dating abuse as a &pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner.& ['! The (amily ) #ommunity "evelopment support group at e#iti*en in +ingapore has described what it calls tell,tale signs of an abusive relationship.

o o o o o

-rofiles of abuser and victim ' #haracteristics '. .motional abuse '.' -sychological abuse './ +exual abuse '.0 -hysical abuse '.1 #ontrolling behaviour / +ee also 0 $eferences 1 .xternal links

-rofiles of abuser and victim[edit! Individuals of all walks of life can find themselves in an abusive relationship. %buse can occur regardless of the couple2s age, race, income, or other demographic traits. There are, however, many traits that abusers and victims share in common. The #entre for -romoting %lternatives to 3iolence describes abusers as being obsessively 4ealous and possessive, overly confident, having mood swings or a history of violence or temper, seeking to isolate their partner from family, friends and colleagues, and having a tendency to blame external stressors.[/! 5eanwhile, victims of relationship abuse share many traits as well, including: physical signs of in4ury, missing time at work or school, slipping performance at work or school, changes in mood or personality, increased use of drugs or alcohol, and increasing isolation from friends and family. [0! 3ictims may blamethemselves for any abuse that occurs or may minimi*e the severity of the crime. This often leads to victims choosing to stay in abusive relationships. +trauss 6'7718[1! argues that while men inflict the greater share of in4uries in domestic violence, researchers and society at large must not overlook the substantial minority of in4uries inflicted by women. %dditionally, +trauss notes that even relatively minor acts of physical aggression by women are a serious concern: 25inor2 assaults perpetrated by women are also a ma4or problem, even when they do not result in in4ury, because they put women in danger of much more severe retaliation by men. [...! It will be argued that in order to end 2wife beating,2 it is essential for

women also to end what many regard as a 2harmless2 pattern of slapping, kicking, or throwing something at a male partner who persists in some outrageous behavior and 2won2t listen to reason.2 +imilarly, "eborah #apaldi [9! reports that a /,year longitudinal study found that a woman2s aggression towards a man was e:ually important as the man2s tendency towards violence in predicting the likelihood of overall violence: &+ince much I-3 [Intimate -artner 3iolence! is mutual and women as well as men initiate I-3, prevention and treatment approaches should attempt to reduce women2s violence as well as men2s violence. +uch an approach has a much higher chance of increasing women2s safety.& ;owever, #apaldi2s research only focused on at,risk youth, not women in general, and, therefore, may not apply to the entire population. #haracteristics[edit! Emotional abuse[edit!

;e/+he is afraid of his/her date ;e/+he is afraid of making the date angry and are unable to even disagree with the date. ;is/;er date has publicly embarrassed and humiliated him/her.

Psychological abuse[edit!

The date threatens to use violence against him/her or against himself/herself.6e.g. &If you leave me, I will kill myself&.8

Sexual abuse[edit! See also: Date rape

The date forces his/her partner to have sex with him/her. ;e/she is afraid to say 2no2 to the date2s demand for a sexual act from him/her. The date does not respect him/her, but is only interested in gratifying his/her own sexual needs. The date does not care about the conse:uences of the sexual act or how his/her partner feels about it.

Physical abuse[edit!

;e/she was sub4ected to some physical attacks by his/her partner The date has held him/her down, pushed him/her, or even punched, kicked or threw things at him/her.

Controlling behaviour[edit!

The date has tried to keep him/her from seeing friends. ;e/she is restricted from contacting his/her family ;e/she is even forced to choose between the date and his/her family and friends. The date insists on knowing where he/she is at all times and demands that he/she 4ustify everything he/she does. The date will be furious if he/she spoke with another man/woman. The date expects him/her to ask permission before seeking health care for himself/herself. The date dictates what he/she wears and how he/she appears in public.

What is dating violence? "ating violence is when one person purposely hurts or scares someone they are dating. "ating violence happens to people of all races, cultures, incomes, and education levels. It can happen on a first date, or when you are deeply in love. It can happen whether you are young or old, and in heterosexual or same,sex relationships. "ating violence is always wrong, and you can get help. "ating violence includes:

Physical abuse like hitting, shoving, kicking, biting, or throwing things Emotional abuse like yelling, name,calling, bullying, embarrassing, keeping you away from your friends, saying you deserve the abuse, or giving gifts to &make up& for the abuse. 6$ead more about emotional abuse.8

Sexual abuse like forcing you to do something sexual 6such as kissing or touching8 or doing something sexual when you cannot agree to it 6like when you are very drunk8. 6$ead more about sexual attacks.8

"ating violence often starts with emotional abuse. <ou may think that behaviors like calling you names or insisting on seeing you all the time are a &normal& part of relationships. =ut they can lead to more serious kinds of abuse, like hitting, stalking, or preventing you from using birth control. >earn more about the warning signs of abuse and the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships. "ating violence can cause serious harm to your body and your emotions. If you are in an abusive relationship, get help.

Teen dating violence In the ?nited +tates, teens and young women experience the highest rates of relationship violence. In fact, relationship. If you haven2t dated much, it can be hard to know when a relationship is unhealthy. +ome signs of teen dating abuse include: No excuses It is never okay for someone to hit you or be cruel to you. <ou may think alcohol or drugs make a partner abusive. Those in 7 female high,

schoolers say they have been physically abused by a dating partner in the past year. >earn more about leaving an abusive dating

things may increase the chances of abuse, but they never make it right. <ou also may think it is your fault that your partner has hurt you. =ut you don2t control how your partner acts, and you can2t make someone mistreat you. @eep in mind that if you sometimes hit your partner first, you can get help learning how to stop. Talk to a mental health professional, like a school counselor, or a doctor or nurse.

#onstantly texting or sending instant messages 6I5s8 to monitor you Insisting on getting serious very :uickly %cting very 4ealous or bossy -ressuring you to do sexual things -osting sexual photos of you online without permission Threatening to hurt you or themselves if you break up =laming you for the abuse

Teenage girls in physically abusive relationships are much more likely than other girls to become pregnant. %buse can get worse during pregnancy, and it can harm the baby growing inside you. Aever get pregnant hoping that it will stop the abuse. <ou can ask your doctor about types of birth control that your partner doesn2t have to know you are using. If you are under B, your partner could get arrested for having sex with you, even if you agreed to have sex. >aws covering this are different in each state. <ou can learn more about thelaw in your state.

Leaving an abusive dating relationship If you think you are in an abusive relationship, learn more about getting help. +ee a doctor or nurse to take care of any physical problems. %nd reach out for support for your emotional pain. (riends, family, and mental healthprofessionals all can help. If you2re in immediate danger, dial C .

If you are thinking about ending an abusive dating relationship, keep some tips in mind:

#reate a safety plan, like where you can go if you are in danger. 5ake sure you have a working cellphone handy in case you need to call for help. #reate a secret code with people you trust. That way, if you are with your partner, you can get help without having to say you need help.

If you2re breaking up with someone you see at your high school or college, you can get help from a guidance counselor, advisor, teacher, school nurse, dean2s office, or principal. <ou also might be able to change your class schedules or even transfer to another school.

If you have a 4ob, talk to someone you trust at work. <our human resources department or employee assistance program 6.%-8 may be able to help.

Try to avoid walking or riding alone. =e smart about technology. "on2t share your passwords. "on2t post your schedule on (acebook, and keep your settings private.

If you are ending a long,term or live,in dating relationship, you may want to read our section on domestic and intimate partner violence.

Staying sa e !hen meeting someone ne! If you are meeting someone you don2t know or don2t know well, you can take steps to stay safe. Try to:

5eet your date in a public place Tell a friend or family member your date2s name and where you are going %void parties where a lot of alcohol may be served 5ake sure you have a way to get home if you need to leave ;ave a cellphone handy in case you need to call for help

http://www.womenshealth.gov/

Dhat is Teen "ating 3iolence 6T"38E

Teen dating violence 6T"38 is a pattern of behavior that includes physical, emotional, verbal or sexual abuse used by one person in an intimate relationship to exert power and control over another.

T"3 is generally defined as occurring among individuals between the ages of /, C years old. >ike intimate partner violence among adults, T"3 occurs without respect to age, race, religion, socioeconomic status and sexual orientation.

Dhat does Teen "ating 3iolence look likeE

%pproximately '1 percent of teens report experiencing T"3 annually 6Aoonan ) #harles, '77C8. It can include emotional, verbal, physical and/or sexual abuse. In most cases of T"3, violence is used to get another to do what he/she wants, to gain power and control, to cause humiliation and to promote fear, and to retaliate against a partner 6(oshee ) >angwick, '7 78.

;ow does Teen "ating 3iolence differ from %dult Intimate -artner 3iolenceE

%n article published by the Aational Institute of Fustice discusses current research on T"3 and concludes that there are three key differences between adult and teen dating relationships:

%busive teen relationships typically lack the same une:ual power dynamic found in adult intimate partner violence relationships. %dolescent girls are not often dependent on their partner for financial support and do not typically have children to provide for and protect.

Teens have limited experience with romantic relationships and negotiating conflict. Teen relationships are more readily affected by the influence of peers.

=ecause the dynamics of intimate partner abuse are different in adolescent and adult relationships, it is important not to apply an adult framework of intimate partner violence to teen dating violence.