Body Language
Body Language
COMMUNICATION
VERBAL NON-VERBAL
Now, what exactly do we mean by body language and gestures? When two or
more people interact, a host of hidden signals are sent, either consciously or
unconsciously, by each of them. These signals may come together, in ‘clusters’,
or individually. The sum of all these signals is called body language. Gestures
are particular signals that the person may consciously or unconsciously be using,
like waving one’s hands to illustrate one’s point.
In other words, body language is the way people unconsciously telegraph their
private thoughts and emotions through body movements – the way in which they
fold their arms, cross their legs, sit, stand, walk, use their hips, eyes, and even in
the subtle way they move their lips.
The ‘medium’ of body language is, of course, the body. Body language can
include any reflexive or non-reflexive movement of a part or all of the body to
communicate an emotional message to the outside world. It is the basis from
which we draw our non-verbal conclusions.
understood by the people of the respective cultures. For instance, almost anyone
can tell just by looking at a person whether he is happy or sad, angry or calm, or
nervous or composed.
Of course, the study of body language is not similar to that of other languages,
like French, or Spanish, or English, because it goes beyond verbal
communication. Even if we do not know a foreign language, we can
‘communicate’ rather well through body language because it is ‘read’ and
interpreted by people all over the world.
Some may claim, and rightly so, that they already know and use body language,
so how will further study help. It is true that we have all been using body
language since infancy. But is our knowledge complete and comprehensive? If it
is, then this presentation has hardly anything new or extraordinary to offer. But it
could help in another way. It will sharpen our perception by enabling us to ‘label’
and ‘vocalize’ what we already know in non-verbal communication, and make our
observation more deliberate and detailed for greater efficiency and more
accurate interpretation.
Body language covers a range of aspects of the body, including the following:
Posture
Gestures
Non-verbal Vocalizations
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GESTURES
THE HANDS
Hands play a vital role in non-verbal communication. It expresses gestures in the
form of handshakes, hand positions, etc. The hands express what a person
thinks and has to say, it is a dead give-away. It helps the other person to
understand what is being conveyed. The following are a few common hand
signals:
Steepling: Some people join their fingertips and form what might be
described as a ‘church steeple’. It designates the confident and sometimes
smug, pontifical, egoistic or proud gesture. It immediately communicates
that a person is very sure of what he is saying.
Arms Behind Back: Holding one arm behind the back and clenching
the hand lightly, while the other grips the wrist or arm, is a gesture that
people use to disguise the emotions of anger, frustration and fear. It is a
gesture of self-control. A worker or salesperson who is made to wait outside
the boss’ cabin may make this gesture out of nervousness. The further up
the other hand is gripping the arm, the higher the self-control being exerted.
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If the hand is unclenched, and the other hand is at the wrist, this is a gesture
of superiority and confidence. The person is exposing vulnerable areas like
the stomach, heart and throat, unconsciously showing fearlessness.
Palm To Back Of Neck: When a person places his palm to the back of
his head, it indicates that he is on the defensive or has acknowledged
defeat in the argument. Women may disguise this gesture by the motion of
setting their hair.
Collar Pull: People make the collar pull gesture when they are telling a
lie or when they feel their lie has been detected by the other person. This
gesture is also used by an angry or frustrated person, where he needs to
pull away the collar from the neck so as to allow cool air to circulate around
it.
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HANDSHAKES
Our styles of handshakes are generally governed by our attitudes. There are
basically three main attitudes – dominance, submission & equality.
The Stiff-Arm Handshake: Here the arms are kept stiff, thus
placing the receiver at ‘arm’s length’, literally out of one’s ‘intimacy zone’. It
is generally used by aggressive people.
THE FACE
The face is the most expressive part of the body. In our daily interaction with
people it is the face that first draws our attention, since it is directly observable.
Researchers of non-verbal communication have found that in a normal one-to-
one encounter people look longer at the face than at other parts of the anatomy.
Therefore, what we ‘read’ in the face is of great importance in the communication
process.
In the movies and TV serials, actors exaggerate and prolong certain gestures so
as to make an impression on the audience. In real life our facial signals are all
too fleeting; they appear and disappear, in a fifth of a second.
The flashes of facial signals are generally spontaneous reactions which a person
finds difficult to hide. It is for this very reason that they are so quick and
instinctive that they reflect one’s true feelings, which may or may not match with
what a person is saying. When someone is telling a lie, for example, his
subconscious will betray him by letting surface a fleeting emotional reaction on
his face, which any perceptive person will notice as contradictory to his words.
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SMILING
Smiling and frowning are two major facial expressions. The smile tends to
convey the general states of acceptance and agreements; the frown of rejection
and disagreement.
The smile is the most universally recognized non-verbal signal. It has enormous
power to defuse tense situations, smoothen customer service, raise the level of
teamwork, and communicate friendliness. A genuine smile can convey pleasant
emotions such as happiness, acceptance, and appreciation. The following are
the types of smiles:
Simple Smile: This is when the teeth are not exposed. We generally wear
the simple smile when we are watching something interesting or pleasant
but are not physically involved in the action. We smile to ourselves.
Upper Smile: This, as the title indicates, exposes the upper set of teeth. It
is a friendly smile, usually when we greet someone. It is accompanied by
eye contact.
Broad Smile: This smile exposes both sets of teeth, and is usually
accompanied by laughter.
LAUGHTER
Laughter is composed of a broad range of gestures and sounds. One can
distinguish a burst of laughter from average horselaugh which is characterized by
an open mouth and exposed teeth. The vocalized smile is the softest form of
audible laughter.
All of us develop habits of some sort or another. In the same way, we develop
our own particular style of expressing ourselves non-verbally. Where laughter is
concerned, some have the habits of laughing automatically or spontaneously,
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while others strictly guard their vocal expressions. The latter reserve laughter
only for social occasions. The following are the varieties of laughter:
THE EYES
The eyes are a part of the face, but on account of their critical role in non-verbal
communication they merit special treatment. “The eyes of men converse as
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much as their tongues, with the advantage that the ocular dialect needs do
dictionary, but it is understood the world over,” said Emerson.
Eye contact is one of the most important aspects of dealing with others,
especially when people two people have just met. Maintaining good eye contact
shows respect and interest in what they have to say.
The eyes can be steely, knowing, mocking, piercing, shifty… They can level a
‘burning’ glance, or a ‘cold’ glance or a ‘hurt’ glance! Or, again, they can be wise,
knowing, inviting, scary, disinterested, and so on. A variety of metaphoric
expressions are used for the kind of look and attitude the eyes convey: ‘to look
daggers at someone’, ‘to have big, baby eyes’, ‘to have shifty eyes’, or ‘inviting
eyes’, or ‘a gleam in the eyes’.
In UK they tend to keep eye contact around 60-70% of the time (however, there
are wide cultural differences, so be careful in other countries). By doing this you
won't make the other person feel self-conscious, like they've got a bit of
vegetable stuck between their teeth or a dewdrop hanging from the nose…
Instead, it will give them a feeling of comfort and genuine warmth in your
company. Any more eye contact than this and you can be too intense, any less,
and you give off a signal that you are lacking interest in them or their
conversation.
GAZING
Gazing means looking intently. It is a non-verbal signal which concerns the act,
duration and manner of looking. We gaze in order to perceive the expressions of
others, especially those of their faces. The duration of eye contact can vary
considerably across individuals and cultures. The normal gaze for individual
conversation should be 5 – 15 seconds, and while talking to a group one should
gaze at specific individuals for 4 – 5 seconds.
There are different types of gazes. They include:
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EYE CONTACT
Eye contact signifies awareness and acceptance, which sometimes precedes
conversation and involvement. Lack of eye contact communicates a lack of
interest. The varieties of eye contact are:
Polite inattention: When we encounter individuals we are
unfamiliar with, we avoid staring at them, but we also avoid ignoring them.
So we glance at them deliberately, with ‘polite inattention’. That is, you look
at a person just long enough to make it obvious that we have seen him, and
then we turn our eyes away.
Exchanging Glances: When we pass a stranger on the street,
we may exchange a glance with them. If we look directly at the other
persons face before looking away it indicates the message, “I trust you. I am
not afraid of you.”
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EYE FEEDBACK
There are number of ways in which we receive feedback from eye movements. In
negotiation situations, if the other person hardens the lower eyelids and sets
them rigidly, we can surmise that we have lost him, he will not yield to us. In the
course of a conversation, if the other person’s eyes start wandering around the
room, or he begins to look at his watch, he has lost interest. When the other
person’s eyes go dull, it means we have said something he does not understand
or which does not appeal to him.
Eye contact also reflects our self-confidence and many of our other personality
traits. Moreover, it expresses the numerous emotional elements that are a part of
our personality at any given time, such as surprise, joy, satisfaction, sadness,
shock, disappointment, anger, curiosity, warmth, respect, strength and pride.
POSTURES
SITTING POSTURES
The legs play an active role in body language, particularly so in sitting postures.
The way they are positioned (crossed, close together, held apart) can convey
relaxation, tension, modesty, seduction, and so on. Shaking one’s foot can reveal
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STANDING POSTURES
‘Standing tall’ has to do with the upper part of the body, which is held straight and
upright, and indicates self-confidence. Some people can change their feelings
from depression to determination merely by squaring their shoulders and
straightening the back. In contrast, a body not properly held may strongly convey
a person’s feeling of low self-esteem.
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The lower part of the body often tends to be neglected. Some people are in the
habit of positioning themselves with one hip pushed back while they are standing
and conversing. This stance often lowers their impact on the other person. It
sends a non-verbal message of ‘I don’t want to be here’, and literally distances
them from the other. Other variations of this gesture are rocking from side to
side, going back and froth on one’s heels and toes, and pacing.
WALKING POSTURES
Each person has a distinct walk; often we identify people by their walk. Our walk
is shaped on the basis of our individual body structure and emotions. These
control our pace and length of stride, and our posture.
By avoiding eye contact or turning our face away, we send out signals that a
stranger is to either keep out of the invisible space around us or enter at their
own risk. If the person does not take the cue and invades our space, we may act
nasty or cold and indifferent in order to drive him away.
SPATIAL REQUIREMENTS
Emotions have a direct effect on the size of our territory. The space bubble of a
person who is angry or under stress expands and the person needs more space.
Stress as a result of overcrowding is cumulative; people are more tolerant of
crowds early in the day, but owing to the stress they accumulate in the course of
the day, their tolerance level decreases, and by the end of the day, they begin to
lose their temper if pressured by crowds.
As an interviewee you must remember the dictum, “The first impression is the
last impression.” It would be to your advantage to make an extra effort to ensure
that the first impression that you make is good. For this, here are some tips that
will help – depending on the setting and the situation, of course:
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After you enter the interview room, close the door gently behind
you.
Glance at the interviewer with a smile of acknowledgement and
walk steadily to the chair provided for you.
Be prepared to shake hands if the interviewer initiates it.
Look the interviewer in the eye and smile. At a panel interview, do
the same with each interviewer as they are introduced. If their names are
mentioned, try to remember them, as you can impress them by using them
later.
Wait to be asked to sit down.
POSTURE
At an interview, you must adopt a posture that reflects interest and gives the
impression that you are relaxed and confident. The following are some non-
verbal characteristics that give a clue to the interviewer about your inner feelings.
You must be aware of them and avoid them at an interview.
If you sit with your back very stiff, or if you grip the arms of the chair
tightly, the interviewer can tell that you are nervous.
If you are restless, shifting about in your seat constantly, again, you
portray nervousness, boredom, irritation and impatience.
If you fidget, drum your fingers, tap your pencil, rock your chair, you
will indicate lack of interest and attention.
If you sit sprawled in the chair with your legs crossed you could
give an impression of over-confidence or lack of interest.
If you have your hands folded tightly over your chest or stomach it
may indicate insecurity, tension, or an aggressive nature.
If you have your arms raised, with the hands placed behind the
head, it may signal superiority or over-confidence.
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In short, avoid shifting your posture (like swaying or wriggling in your seat), or
sitting too rigid. Choose a position that is comfortable; this will help you relax. At
the same time it should not look sloppy. Regardless of what kind of chair you are
offered, try to sit upright and lean forward slightly (this shows you are interested
and attentive. Avoid tugging at your clothes or playing with your fingers. Try to
stop your hands creeping into your pockets.
EYE CONTACT
Eye contact is crucial in an interview. It shows that you are confident and honest.
The following are some tips on eye contact:
Maintain eye contact most of the time the interviewer is talking (this
shows you are being attentive), and periodically when you are talking (to
reinforce the communication).
When you are being interviewed by a panel, make eye contact with
each member, and watch the non-verbal communication among the
members. Try to identify the person on the panel who holds the most
important position and is worth making particular responses to.
Remember that like your facial expression, eye contact is only an automatic
reflection of what you are feeling inside. If you are feeling relaxed and confident,
you will naturally show it in your eyes.
In conclusion, one must watch one’s body language in a job interview. We must
send the proper signals of interest, attention and above all confidence. The
secret to cracking a job interview is to remain calm, feel confident, be honest,
and above all else, BE ONESELF.
THE END