MONTY PYTHON'S

THE MEANING OF LIFE

FILM SCRIPT
Monty Python's
The Meaning of Life
The Cast: (in o!e of a""eaan#e$
FISH %& Gaha' Cha"'an
FISH %( )ohn C*eese
FISH %+ Ei# I!*e
FISH %, Tey Gi**ia'
FISH %- Mi#hae* Pa*in
FISH %. Tey )ones
/AL0 MAN Geoge Si*1e
SINGER Ei# I!*e
MRS2 MOORE 3a*eie 4hittington
0OCTOR SPENSER )ohn C*eese
O/STETRICIAN Gaha' Cha"'an
N5RSE %& )6!y Loe
N5RSE %( I'ogen /i#7fo! S'ith
MR2 MOORE Ei# I!*e
MR2 PYCROFT Mi#hae* Pa*in
0A0 Mi#hae* Pa*in
M5M Tey )ones
/RI0E )ennife Fan7s
PRIEST Tey )ones
GROOM An!e8 Ma#*a#h*an
MR2 HARRY /LAC9ITT Gaha' Cha"'an
MRS2 /LAC9ITT Ei# I!*e
NARRATOR %& Mi#hae* Pa*in
H5MPHREY 4ILLIAMS )ohn C*eese
CHAPLAIN Mi#hae* Pa*in
4ATSON Ei# I!*e
CARTER Mi#hae* Pa*in
4YMER Gaha' Cha"'an
/IGGS Tey )ones
HELEN 4ILLIAMS Pati#ia :6inn
ST5RRI0GE )ohn C*eese
SPA0GER Mi#hae* Pa*in
/LAC9ITT Ei# I!*e
4ALTERS Tey Gi**ia'
HOR0ERN Gaha' Cha"'an
GENERAL Gaha' Cha"'an
SERGEANT MA)OR Mi#hae* Pa*in
COLES Gaha' Cha"'an
AT9INSON Ei# I!*e
4YCLIF An!e8 Ma#*a#h*an
NARRATOR %( Gaha' Cha"'an
AINS4ORTH )ohn C*eese
PA9ENHAM;4ALSH Mi#hae* Pa*in
FIRST LIE5TENANT CHA04IC9 Si'on )ones
PER9INS Ei# I!*e
0OCTOR LI3INGSTONE Gaha' Cha"'an
SERGEANT Tey )ones
3ICTIM %( An!e8 Ma#*a#h*an
POTTER'S HEA0 Ma7 Ho*'es
3ICTIM %+ Ei# I!*e
FRONT EN0 Ei# I!*e
REAR EN0 Mi#hae* Pa*in
<5L5 ANNO5NCER Tey Gi**ia'
LA0Y PRESENTER Mi#hae* Pa*in
STRANGE MAN Tey )ones
STRANGE 4OMAN Gaha' Cha"'an
TROLL Ma7 Ho*'es
MRS2 HEN0Y Ei# I!*e
MR2 MAR3IN HEN0Y Mi#hae* Pa*in
M'LA0Y )OELINE Tey Gi**ia'
4AITER )ohn C*eese
MR2 /RO4N Tey Gi**ia'
ERIC Gaha' Cha"'an
MAN )ohn C*eese
MRS2 /RO4N Tey )ones
YO5NG MAN Pete Lo1sto'
MAN IN PIN9 Ei# I!*e
CHAIRMAN Gaha' Cha"'an
HARRY Mi#hae* Pa*in
/ERT Tey )ones
G5NTHER Ei# I!*e
NO=L CO4AR0 Ei# I!*e
MA>TRE 0 )ohn C*eese
MA?'S 4IFE Ange*a Mann
MA? Ma7 Ho*'es
G5EST %( An!e8 Ma#*a#h*an
MR2 CREOSOTE Tey )ones
GASTON Ei# I!*e
G5EST %, Gaha' Cha"'an
G5EST %,'S 4IFE Cao* C*e1e*an!
MARIA Tey )ones
GO3ERNOR Mi#hae* Pa*in
PA0RE Mi#hae* Pa*in
ARTH5R )ARRETT Gaha' Cha"'an
LEAF %& Tey )ones
GRIM REAPER )ohn C*eese
GEOFFREY Gaha' Cha"'an
ANGELA Ei# I!*e
0E//IE 9AT<EN/ERG Mi#hae* Pa*in
HO4AR0 9AT<EN/ERG Tey Gi**ia'
FIONA PORTLAN0;SMYTHE Tey )ones
)EREMY PORTLAN0;SMYTHE Si'on )ones
RECEPTIONIST Cao* C*e1e*an!
TONY /ENNETT Gaha' Cha"'an
Into!6#tion
@g6g*ingA
FISH %&: Moning2
FISH %(: Moning2
FISH %+: Moning2
FISH %(: Moning2
FISH %&: Moning2
FISH %+: Moning2
FISH %(: Moning2
FISH %,: Moning2
FISH %&: Moning2
FISH %+: 4hat's ne8B
FISH %&: Not '6#h2
FISH %.: Moning2
FISH %-: Moning2
FISH %,: He**o2
FISH %(: Moning2
FISH %&: Moning2
FISH %+: Moning2
FISH %-: Moning2
FISH %+: Moning2
FISH %,: Moning2
FISH %(: Moning2
FISH %&: Fan7 8as C6st as7ing '8hat's ne8B'2
FISH %.: 4as heB
FISH %&: YeahD222 'h''2
FISH %+: HeyD *oo72 Ho8a!'s Eeing eaten2
FISH %(: Is heB Ma7es yo6 thin7D !oesn't itB
FISH %.: M''2
FISH %+: I 'eanD 8hat's it a** aEo6tB
FISH %.: /eats 'e2
Catoon
@'6si#A
SINGER: @singingA
4hy ae 8e heeB 4hat's *ife a** aEo6tB
Is Go! ea**y ea*D o is thee so'e !o6EtB
4e**D tonightD 8e'e going to sot it a** o6tD
FoD tonightD it's 'The Meaning of Life'2
4hat's the "oint of a** this hoaFB
Is it the #hi#7en an! the egg ti'eB Ae 8e C6st yo*7sB
OD "eha"sD 8e'e C6st one of Go!'s *itt*e Co7es2
4e**D Ga #'est *e 'Meaning of Life'2
Is *ife C6st a ga'e 8hee 8e 'a7e 6" the 6*es
4hi*e 8e'e sea#hing fo so'ething to sayD
O ae 8e C6st si'"*y s"ia**ing #oi*s
Of se*f;e"*i#ating 0NA2 NayD nayD nayD nayD nayD nay2
In this '*ife'D 8hat is o6 fateB
Is thee Hea1en an! He**B 0o 8e ein#anateB
Is 'an7in! e1o*1ingD o is it too *ateB
4e**D tonightD hee's 'The Meaning of Life'2
Fo 'i**ionsD this '*ife' is a sa! 1a*e of teasD
Sitting 'o6n! 8ith ien nothing to say
4hi*e the s#ientists say 8e'e C6st si'"*y s"ia**ing #oi*s
Of se*f;e"*i#ating 0NA2 NayD nayD nayD nayD nayD nay2
SoD C6st 8hy;; 8hy ae 8e heeD
An! C6st 8hat;; 8hat;; 8hat;; 8hat !o 8e feaB
4e**D #e soiD fo a #hangeD it 8i** a** Ee 'a!e #*eaD
Fo this is 'The Meaning of Life'2 C'est *e sens !e *a 1ie2
This is 'The Meaning of Life'2
Pat I: The Mia#*e of /ith
ANNO5NCER: Pat One: The Mia#*e of /ith2
@#*6n7A
@#*6n7A
@#*6n7A
@#*6n7A
O/STETRICIAN: One tho6san! an! eightH
N5RSE %&: Ms2 Mooe's #onta#tions ae 'oe feI6entD !o#toH
O/STETRICIAN: Goo!2 Ta7e he into the Foet6s Fightening Roo'2
N5RSE %&: Right2
@eF#iting '6si#A
O/STETRICIAN: Th6'D th6'''D th6'''D th6'D th6''''D th6''''''2 Th6'D th6'''2 Th6'''2 )o**y goo!2
@'6si# sto"sA
0OCTOR SPENSER: /6''D E6''D E6''D E6''D E6';;
O/STETRICIAN: SoD it's a Eit Eae in hee to!ayD isn't itB
0OCTOR SPENSER: Yes2
O/STETRICIAN: Yes2 Moe a""aat6sD "*easeD n6se: the E2E2G2D the /2P2 'onitoD an! the A23232
N5RSE %&: Yes2 Cetain*yD 0o#to2
0OCTOR SPENSER: An!D 6hD get the 'a#hine that goes '"ing'2
O/STETRICIAN: An! get the 'ost eF"ensi1e 'a#hinesD in #ase the a!'inistato #o'es2
@#*6n7A
@eF#iting '6si#A
That's it2 /ing in the othe 'a#hines2 Right o1e hee2
0OCTOR SPENSER: @8hist*ingA
O/STETRICIAN: That's it2 )6st Eehin! 'e2
@'6si# sto"sA
Lo1e*y2 Lo1e*y2 )o**y goo!2 That's Eette2 That's '6#hD '6#h Eette2
0OCTOR SPENSER: YeahhhD that's 'oe *i7e it2
O/STETRICIAN: Eehhh2 Sti** so'ething 'issingD tho6gh2
0OCTOR SPENSER: H'B
O/STETRICIAN: H'''2 M''''2
@sna"A
O/STETRICIAN an! 0OCTOR SPENSER: PatientH
O/STETRICIAN: Yes2
0OCTOR SPENSER: 4hee's the "atientB
O/STETRICIAN: Anyone seen the "atientB
0OCTOR SPENSER: PatientB
N5RSE %&: AahH Hee she is2
0OCTOR SPENSER: /ing it o1e hee2
@#*an7A
Min! the 'a#hinesH
N5RSE %&: SoyD 0o#to S"ense2
O/STETRICIAN: Co'e a*ongH
0OCTOR SPENSER: Co'e a*ong2
N5RSE %&: )6'" 6" thee2 5"H
MRS2 MOORE: Ehh2
O/STETRICIAN: Ha**o2 No8D !on't yo6 8oy2
0OCTOR SPENSER: 4e'** soon ha1e yo6 #6e!2
O/STETRICIAN: Lea1e it a** to 6s2 Yo6'** ne1e 7no8 8hat hit yo62
0OCTOR SPENSER: Goo!;EyeH
O/STETRICIAN: Goo!;Eye2
0OCTOR SPENSER: 0i"s 6"H
O/STETRICIAN: InCe#tionsH
0OCTOR SPENSER: Can I "6t the t6Ee in the EaEy's hea!B
O/STETRICIAN: On*y if I #an !o the e"esioto'y2
0OCTOR SPENSER: O7ay2
O/STETRICIAN: O7ay2 5hD *egs 6"H 0o#toD #o'e in2 Co'e on inD a** of yo62 That's it2 )o**y goo!2
0OCTOR SPENSER: Co'e a*ong2
O/STETRICIAN: Co'e a*ong2 S"ea! 'o6n! thee2 5hD 8ho ae yo6B
MR2 MOORE: I'' the h6sEan!2
O/STETRICIAN: I'' soy2 On*y "eo"*e in1o*1e! ae a**o8e! in hee2 A** ight2
MRS2 MOORE: 4hat !o I !oB
0OCTOR SPENSER: Mh'2 YesB
MRS2 MOORE: 4hat !o I !oB
0OCTOR SPENSER: NothingD !ea2 Yo6'e not I6a*ifie!H
O/STETRICIAN: Lea1e it to 6sH
MRS2 MOORE: 4hat's that foB
O/STETRICIAN: That's the 'a#hine that goes '"ing'2
@"ingA
Yo6 seeB That 'eans yo6 EaEy is sti** a*i1eH
0OCTOR SPENSER: An! that's the 'ost eF"ensi1e 'a#hine in the 8ho*e hos"ita*H
O/STETRICIAN: YesD it #ost o1e thee I6ates of a 'i**ion "o6n!s2
0OCTOR SPENSER: Aen't yo6 *6#7yBH
N5RSE %(: The a!'inistato is heeD !o#to2
O/STETRICIAN: S8it#h e1eything onH
@eF#iting '6si#A
@"ingA
MR2 PYCROFT: MoningD gent*e'en2
RAN0OM: Moning2
MR2 PYCROFT: MoningD gent*e'en2
0OCTOR SPENSER: MoningH
O/STETRICIAN: MoningD M2 Py#oft2
0OCTOR SPENSER: MoningD M2 Py#oft2
MR2 PYCROFT: OhD 1ey i'"essi1e2 3ey i'"essi1e2 An! 8hat ae yo6 !oing this 'oningB
@'6si# sto"sA
O/STETRICIAN: It's a Eith2
MR2 PYCROFT: Aahh2 4hat sot of thing is thatB
0OCTOR SPENSER: 4e**D that's 8hen 8e ta7e a ne8 EaEy o6t of a *a!y's t6''y2
MR2 PYCROFT: 4on!ef6* 8hat 8e #an !o no8a!ays2
@"ingA
AahH I see yo6 ha1e the 'a#hine that goes '"ing'2 This is 'y fa1o6ite2 Yo6 seeD 8e *ease this Ea#7 fo' the #o'"any 8e so*! it toD an! that 8ayD it
#o'es 6n!e the 'onth*y #6ent E6!get an! not the #a"ita* a##o6nt2
@a""*a6seA
Than7 yo62 Than7 yo62 4e ty to !o o6 Eest2 4e**D !o #ay on2
N5RSE %&: OohD the 16*1a's !i*atingD !o#to2
O/STETRICIAN: OhD yesD thee's the hea!2 YesD fo6 #enti'etes2 Fi1e;; SiF #enti'etes2
0OCTOR SPENSER: LightsH
O/STETRICIAN: A'"*ify the '"ing' 'a#hine2
@"ingA
0OCTOR SPENSER: Mas7s 6"H
O/STETRICIAN: S6#tionH
0OCTOR SPENSER: Eyes !o8n fo a f6** ho6seH
O/STETRICIAN: Hee it #o'esH
/A/Y: @#yingA
O/STETRICIAN: An!222 fighten itH Than7 yo62
@8ho#7A
0OCTOR SPENSER: An! the o6gh to8e*sH
O/STETRICIAN: Sho8 it to the 'othe2 That's eno6gh2
0OCTOR SPENSER: RightH Se!ate heH
O/STETRICIAN: N6'Ee the #hi*!2
0OCTOR SPENSER: Meas6e itD E*oo! ty"e itD an! iso*ate itH
@8h6'"A
N5RSE %&: O7ay2
@#*a" #*a"A
Sho8's o1e2
O/STETRICIAN: )o**y goo!2
RAN0OM: @'6'E*ingA 222e1eyone2
O/STETRICIAN: )o**y goo!2
MRS2 MOORE: Is it a Eoy o a gi*B
O/STETRICIAN: No8D I thin7 it's a *itt*e ea*y to stat i'"osing o*es on itD !on't yo6B No8D a 8o! of a!1i#e2 Yo6 'ay fin! that yo6 s6ffe fo so'e
ti'e a tota**y iationa* fee*ing of !e"ession: 'P2N202'D as 8e !o#tos #a** it2 SoD it's *ots of ha""y "i**s fo yo6D an! yo6 #an fin! o6t a** aEo6t the Eith
8hen yo6 get ho'e2 It's a1ai*aE*e on /eta'aFD 3HSD an! S6"e Eight2
@"ingA
The Mia#*e of /ith: Pat (: The Thi! 4o*!
ANNO5NCER: The Mia#*e of /ith: Pat T8o: The Thi! 4o*!2
@so'Ee '6si#A
@Ea7 Ea7 Ea7 Ea7 Ea7 Ea7A
@I6a#7 I6a#7A
@I6a#7 I6a#7 I6a#7 I6a#7 I6a#7 I6a#7A
0A0: OhD E*oo!y he**2
@I6a#7 I6a#7 I6a#7A
@f86'"A
/A/Y: @#yingA
M5M: OhhD get thatD 8o6*! yo6D 0ei!eB
0IER0RE: A** ightD M6'2
/A/Y: @#yingA
@Ea7 Ea7 Ea7 Ea7 Ea7 Ea7 Ea7A
CHIL0REN: @ta*7ingA
M5M: No8D 8hose teati'e is itB
CHIL0REN: MineH
M5M: Co'e onD no82 O6t yo6 go2 No8D 6hD 3in#entD TessaD 3a*eieD )anineD MathaD An!e8D Tho'asD 4a*teD PatD Lin!aD Mi#hae*D E1a!neD A*i#eD
0o'iniI6eD an! SashaD it's yo6 Ee!ti'e2
CHIL0REN: A88D M6'H
M5M: No8D !on't ag6eH La6aD A*fe!D Nige*D AnnieD Si'onD A'an!aD;;
0A0: 4aitH I'1e got so'ething to te** the 8ho*e fa'i*y2
M5M: OhD I6i#72 Go an! get the othes inD Go!on2
CHIL0REN: 4hat #o6*! it EeB Shhh222
0A0: The 'i**'s #*ose!H Thee's no 'oe 8o72 4e'e !estit6te2
CHIL0REN: @ta*7ingA
0A0: Co'e inD 'y *itt*e *o1es2 I'1e got no o"tion E6t to se** yo6 a** fo s#ientifi# eF"ei'ents2
CHIL0REN: @8hiningA
0A0: NoD no2 That's the 8ay it isD 'y *o1es2 /*a'e the Catho*i# #h6#h fo not *etting 'e 8ea one of those *itt*e 6EEe things2 OhD they'1e !one so'e
8on!ef6* things in thei ti'e2 They "ese1e! the 'ight an! 'aCestyD the 'ystey of the Ch6#h of Ro'eD an! the san#tity of the sa#a'entsD the
in!i1isiE*e oneness of the TinityD E6t if they'! *et 'e 8ea one of those *itt*e 6EEe things on the en! of 'y #o#7D 8e 8o6*!n't Ee in the 'ess 8e ae no82
/OY: Co6*!n't M6''y ha1e 8on so'e sot of "essayB
0A0: Not if 8e'e going to e'ain 'e'Ees of the fastest go8ing e*igion in the 8o*!D 'y Eoy2
M5M: EhhhD he's ight2
0A0: Yo6 seeD 8e Ee*ie1e;;
@"iano '6si#A
4e**D *et 'e "6t it *i7e this2 @singingA
Thee ae )e8s in the 8o*!2
Thee ae /6!!hists2
Thee ae Hin!6s an! Mo'onsD an! then
Thee ae those that fo**o8 Moha''e!D E6t
I'1e ne1e Eeen one of the'2
@'6si#A
I'' a Ro'an Catho*i#D
An! ha1e Eeen sin#e Eefoe I 8as EonD
An! the one thing they say aEo6t Catho*i#s is:
They'** ta7e yo6 as soon as yo6'e 8a'2
Yo6 !on't ha1e to Ee a siF;foote2
Yo6 !on't ha1e to ha1e a geat Eain2
Yo6 !on't ha1e to ha1e any #*othes on2 Yo6'e
A Catho*i# the 'o'ent 0a! #a'eD
/e#a6se
E1ey s"e' is sa#e!2
E1ey s"e' is geat2
If a s"e' is 8aste!D
Go! gets I6ite iate2
CHIL0REN: @singingA
E1ey s"e' is sa#e!2
E1ey s"e' is geat2
If a s"e' is 8aste!D
Go! gets I6ite iate2
GIRL: @singingA
Let the heathen s"i** theis
On the !6sty go6n!2
Go! sha** 'a7e the' "ay fo
Ea#h s"e' that #an't Ee fo6n!2
CHIL0REN: @singingA
E1ey s"e' is 8ante!2
E1ey s"e' is goo!2
E1ey s"e' is nee!e!
In yo6 neighEo6hoo!2
M5M: @singingA
Hin!6D TaoistD Mo'onD
S"i** theis C6st any8heeD
/6t Go! *o1es those 8ho teat thei
Se'en 8ith 'oe #ae2
MEN: @singingA
E1ey s"e' is sa#e!2
@#*6n7A
E1ey s"e' is geat2
4OMEN: @singingA
If a s"e' is 8aste!D222
CHIL0REN: @singingA
222Go! gets I6ite iate2
PRIEST: @singingA
E1ey s"e' is sa#e!2
/RI0E an! GROOM: @singingA
E1ey s"e' is goo!2
NANNIES: @singingA
E1ey s"e' is nee!e!222
CAR0INALS: @singingA
222In yo6 neighEo6hoo!H
CHIL0REN: @singingA
E1ey s"e' is 6sef6*2
E1ey s"e' is fine2
F5NERAL CORTEGE: @singingA
Go! nee!s e1eyEo!y's2
MO5RNER %&: MineH
MO5RNER %(: An! 'ineH
CORPSE: An! 'ineH
N5N: @singingA
Let the Pagan s"i** theis
O'e 'o6ntainD hi**D an! "*ain2
HOLY STAT5ES: @singingA
Go! sha** sti7e the' !o8n fo
Ea#h s"e' that's s"i*t in 1ain2
E3ERYONE: @singingA
E1ey s"e' is sa#e!2
E1ey s"e' is goo!2
E1ey s"e' is nee!e!
In yo6 neighEo6hoo!2
E1ey s"e' is sa#e!2
E1ey s"e' is geat2
If a s"e' is 8aste!D
Go! gets I6ite iaaaaateH
0A0: SoD yo6 see 'y "oE*e'D *itt*e ones: I #an't 7ee" yo6 a** hee any *onge2
GIRL: S"ea7 6"H
0A0: I #an't 7ee" yo6 a** hee any *ongeH Go! has E*esse! 6s so '6#hD I #an't affo! to fee! yo6 any'oe2
NIGEL: Co6*!n't yo6 ha1e yo6 Ea**s #6t offB
0A0: HohhD it's not as si'"*e as thatD Nige*2 Go! 7no8s a**H He'! see tho6gh s6#h a #hea" ti#72 4hat 8e !o to o6se*1esD 8e !o to Hi'2
GIRL: Yo6 #o6*! ha1e ha! the' "6**e! off in an a##i!ent2
CHIL0REN: @ta*7ingA
0A0: No2 NoD #hi*!en2 I 7no8 yo6'e tying to he*"D E6tD Ee*ie1e 'eD222
CHIL0REN: Ohh222
0A0: 222'e 'in!'s 'a!e 6"2 I'1e gi1en this *ong an! #aef6* tho6ghtD an! it has to Ee 'e!i#a* eF"ei'ents fo the *ot of yo62
CHIL0REN: Ohh2 Oh2 Oh222
CHIL0REN: @singing 'o6nf6**yA
E1ey s"e' is sa#e!2
E1ey s"e' is geat2
If a s"e' is 8aste!D222
MR2 HARRY /LAC9ITT: Loo7 at the'D E*oo!y Catho*i#sD fi**ing the E*oo!y 8o*! 6" 8ith E*oo!y "eo"*e they #an't affo! to E*oo!y fee!2
MRS2 /LAC9ITT: 4hat ae 8e !eaB
MR2 /LAC9ITT: PotestantD an! fie#e*y "o6! of it2
MRS2 /LAC9ITT: H''2 4e**D 8hy !o they ha1e so 'any #hi*!enB
MR2 /LAC9ITT: /e#a6se222 e1ey ti'e they ha1e seF6a* inte#o6seD they ha1e to ha1e a EaEy2
MRS2 /LAC9ITT: /6t it's the sa'e 8ith 6sD Hay2
MR2 /LAC9ITT: 4hat !o yo6 'eanB
MRS2 /LAC9ITT: 4e**D I 'eanD 8e'1e got t8o #hi*!enD an! 8e'1e ha! seF6a* inte#o6se t8i#e2
MR2 /LAC9ITT: That's not the "oint2 4e #o6*! ha1e it any ti'e 8e 8ante!2
MRS2 /LAC9ITT: Rea**yB
MR2 /LAC9ITT: OhD yesD an!D 8hat's 'oeD Ee#a6se 8e !on't Ee*ie1e in a** that Pa"ist #*a"ta"D 8e #an ta7e "e#a6tions2
MRS2 /LAC9ITT: 4hatD yo6 'ean222 *o#7 the !ooB
MR2 /LAC9ITT: NoD no2 I 'eanD Ee#a6se 8e ae 'e'Ees of the Potestant Refo'e! Ch6#hD 8hi#h s6##essf6**y #ha**enge! the a6to#ati# "o8e of
the Pa"a#y in the 'i!;siFteenth #ent6yD 8e #an 8ea *itt*e 6EEe !e1i#es to "e1ent iss6e2
MRS2 /LAC9ITT: 4hat !'yo6 'eanB
MR2 /LAC9ITT: I #o6*!D if I 8ante!D ha1e seF6a* inte#o6se 8ith yo6D222
MRS2 /LAC9ITT: OhD yesD Hay2
MR2 /LAC9ITT: 222an!D Ey 8eaing a 6EEe sheath o1e 'y o*! fe**eD I #o6*! ins6e222 thatD 8hen I #a'e offD yo6 8o6*! not Ee i'"egnate!2
MRS2 /LAC9ITT: OohH
MR2 /LAC9ITT: That's 8hat Eeing a Potestant's a** aEo6t2 That's 8hy it's the #h6#h fo 'e2 That's 8hy it's the #h6#h fo anyone 8ho es"e#ts the
in!i1i!6a* an! the in!i1i!6a*'s ight to !e#i!e fo hi' o hese*f2 4hen Matin L6the nai*e! his "otest 6" to the #h6#h !oo in fifteen;se1enteenD he
'ay not ha1e ea*ise! the f6** signifi#an#e of 8hat he 8as !oingD E6t fo6 h6n!e! yeas *ateD than7s to hi'D 'y !eaD I #an 8ea 8hate1e I 8ant on 'y
)ohn Tho'asD222 @sniffA 222an!D Potestantis' !oesn't sto" at the si'"*e #on!o'H OhD noH I #an 8ea Fen#h Ti#7*es if I 8ant2
MRS2 /LAC9ITT: Yo6 8hatB
MR2 /LAC9ITT: Fen#h Ti#7*es2 /*a#7 Ma'Eos2 Co#o!i*e RiEs2 Sheaths that ae !esigne! not on*y to "ote#tD E6t a*so to enhan#e the sti'6*ation of
seF6a* #ongess2
MRS2 /LAC9ITT: Ha1e yo6 got oneB
MR2 /LAC9ITT: Ha1e I got oneB 5hD 8e**D noD E6t I #an go !o8n the oa! any ti'e I 8ant an! 8a*7 into Hay's an! ho*! 'y hea! 6" high an! say in a
*o6!D stea!y 1oi#eD 'HayD I 8ant yo6 to se** 'e a #on!o'2 In fa#tD to!ayD I thin7 I'** ha1e a Fen#h Ti#7*eD fo I a' a Potestant2'
MRS2 /LAC9ITT: 4e**D 8hy !on't yo6B
MR2 /LAC9ITT: /6t they;; 4e**D they #annotD '#a6se thei #h6#h ne1e 'a!e the geat *ea" o6t of the Mi!!*e Ages an! the !o'ination of a*ien
e"is#o"a* s6"e'a#y2
NARRATOR %&: /6tD !es"ite the atte'"ts of Potestants to "o'ote the i!ea of seF fo "*eas6eD #hi*!en #ontin6e! to '6*ti"*y e1ey8hee2
Pat II: Go8th an! Leaning
ANNO5NCER: The Meaning of Life: Pat T8o: Go8th an! Leaning2
H5MPHREY 4ILLIAMS: 222An! s"otteth t8i#e they the #a'e*s Eefoe the thi! ho6D an! soD the Mi!ianites 8ent foth to Ra' Gi*ea! in 9a!esh
/i*ge'athD Ey Sho Etha Rega*ionD to the ho6se of Gash;/i*;/eth6e*;/aJ!aD he 8ho Eo6ght the E6tte !ish to /a*shaJa an! the tent "eg to the ho6se
of Rasho'onD an! thee s*e8 they the goatsD yeaD an! "*a#e! they the Eits in *itt*e "ots2 Hee en!eth the *esson2
CHAPLAIN: Let 6s "aise Go!2 O Lo!D222
CONGREGATION: O Lo!D222
CHAPLAIN: 222oohD Yo6 ae so EigD222
CONGREGATION: 222oohD Yo6 ae so EigD222
CHAPLAIN: 222so aEso*6te*y h6ge2
CONGREGATION: 222so aEso*6te*y h6ge2
CHAPLAIN: GoshD 8e'e a** ea**y i'"esse! !o8n heeD I #an te** Yo62
CONGREGATION: GoshD 8e'e a** ea**y i'"esse! !o8n heeD I #an te** Yo62
CHAPLAIN: Fogi1e 6sD O Lo!D fo thisD o6 !ea!f6* toa!yingD an!222
CONGREGATION: An! Eaefa#e! f*attey2
CHAPLAIN: /6t Yo6 ae so stong an!D 8e**D C6st so s6"e2
CONGREGATION: Fantasti#2
H5MPHREY: A'en2
CONGREGATION: A'en2
H5MPHREY: No8D t8o Eoys ha1e Eeen fo6n! 6EEing *insee! oi* into the s#hoo* #o'oant2 No8D so'e of yo6 'ay fee* that the #o'oant !oes not
"*ay an i'"otant "at in the *ife of the s#hoo*D E6t I 8o6*! e'in! yo6 that it 8as "esente! to 6s Ey the Co"oation of the to8n of S6!E6y to
#o''e'oate E'"ie 0ayD 8hen 8e ty to e'e'Ee the na'es of a** those fo' the S6!E6y aea 8ho so ga**ant*y ga1e thei *i1es to 7ee" China
/itish2 SoD fo' no8 onD the #o'oant is sti#t*y o6t of Eo6n!sH OhD an! )en7insD a""aent*y yo6 'othe !ie! this 'oning2 Cha"*ain2
@ogan '6si#A
CHAPLAIN an! CONGREGATION: @singingA
O Lo!D "*ease !on't E6n 6s2
0on't gi** o toast Yo6 f*o#72
0on't "6t 6s on the EaEe#6e
O si''e 6s in sto#72
0on't Eaise o Ea7e o Eoi* 6s
O sti;fy 6s in a 8o72
OhD "*ease !on't *ight*y "oa#h 6s
O Easte 6s 8ith hot fat2
0on't fi#assee o oast 6s
O Eoi* 6s in a 1atD
An! "*ease !on't sti#7 Thy se1antsD Lo!D
In a Rotisso'at2
@s#iEE*e s#iEE*e s#iEE*eA
@!ingA
@!ing !ingA
@!ing !ingA
CARTER: He's #o'ingH
P5PILS: @ye**ingA
H5MPHREY: A** ightD sett*e !o8n2 Sett*e !o8n2
@#*6n7A
No8D Eefoe I Eegin the *essonD 8i** those of yo6 8ho ae "*aying in the 'at#h this aftenoon 'o1e yo6 #*othes !o8n onto the *o8e "eg i''e!iate*y
afte *6n#hD Eefoe yo6 8ite yo6 *ette ho'eD if yo6'e not getting yo6 hai #6tD 6n*ess yo6'1e got a yo6nge Eothe 8ho is going o6t this 8ee7en! as
the g6est of anothe EoyD in 8hi#h #aseD #o**e#t his note Eefoe *6n#hD "6t it in yo6 *ette afte yo6'1e ha! yo6 hai #6tD an! 'a7e s6e he 'o1es yo6
#*othes !o8n onto the *o8e "eg fo yo62 No8D;;
4YMER: SiB
H5MPHREY: YesD 4y'eB
4YMER: My yo6nge Eothe's going o6t 8ith 0iEE*e this 8ee7en!D siD E6t I'' not ha1ing 'y hai #6t to!ayD si2
P5PILS: @#h6#7*ingA
4YMER: SoD !o I 'o1e 'y #*othes !o8nD o;;
H5MPHREY: I !o 8ish yo6'! *istenD 4y'e2 It's "efe#t*y si'"*e2 If yo6'e not getting yo6 hai #6tD yo6 !on't ha1e to 'o1e yo6 Eothe's #*othes !o8n
to the *o8e "eg2 Yo6 si'"*y #o**e#t his note Eefoe *6n#hD afte yo6'1e !one yo6 s#i"t6e "e"D 8hen yo6'1e 8itten yo6 *ette ho'eD Eefoe estD
'o1e yo6 o8n #*othes onto the *o8e "egD geet the 1isitosD an! e"ot to M2 3iney that yo6'1e ha! yo6 #hit signe!2 No8D seF2 SeFD seFD seF2 4hee
8ee 8eB @sniffA 4e**D ha! I got as fa as the "enis enteing the 1aginaB @sniffA
P5PILS: 5''2 M'''2
@si*en#eA
/IGGS: NnnnoD si2
4ATSON: NoD si2
/IGGS: NoD si2
4ATSON: No2
P5PILS: No222
4ATSON: No2
H5MPHREY: 4e**D ha! I !one foe"*ayB
@si*en#eA
P5PILS: M'''2 Yeah2 Yeah222
4ATSON: Yes2
/IGGS: YesD si2
4ATSON: YesD si2
H5MPHREY: AhhD 8e**D as 8e a** 7no8 a** aEo6t foe"*ayD no !o6Et yo6 #an te** 'e 8hat the "6"ose of foe"*ay isD222 /iggs2
/IGGS: 5h';; 0on't 7no82 SoyD si2
H5MPHREY: Cate2
CARTER: Ah2 5hhD 8as it ta7ing yo6 #*othes offD siB
H5MPHREY: 4e**D an!;; an! afte thatB
4YMER: Ooh2 P6tting the' on the *o8e "egD siB
P5PILS: @#h6#7*ingA
@8ho"A
H5MPHREY: The "6"ose of foe"*ay is to #a6se the 1agina to *6Ei#ateD so that the "enis #an "enetate 'oe easi*y2
4ATSON: Co6*! 8e ha1e a 8in!o8 o"enD "*easeD siB
H5MPHREY: Yes2 HaisD 8i** yo6B An!D of #o6seD to #a6se the 'an's "enis to ee#t an! ha222 !enH @sniffA No8D !i! I !o 1agina* C6i#es *ast 8ee7B
OhD !o "ay attentionD 4a!s8othH I 7no8 it's Fi!ay afte;; OhD 8at#hing the footEa**D ae yo6 EoyB RightH Mo1e o1e thee2 I'' 8aning yo6H I 'ay
!e#i!e to set an eFa' this te'2
4ATSON: OhD si2
/IGGS: OhD si2
P5PILS: OhD si222
H5MPHREY: SoD C6st *isten2 No8D !i! I o !i! I not222 !o222 1agina*222 C6i#esB
P5PILS: M''2 M''2 YesD si2 YesD si2
H5MPHREY: Na'e t8o 8ays of getting the' f*o8ingD 4atson2
4ATSON: R;; 6EEing the #*itoisD siB
H5MPHREY: 4hat's 8ong 8ith a 7issD EoyB H''B 4hy not stat he off 8ith a ni#e 7issB Yo6 !on't ha1e to go *ea"ing staight fo the #*itois *i7e a
E6** at a gate2 Gi1e he a 7issD Eoy2
4YMER: S6#7 the ni""*eD siB
H5MPHREY: Goo!H Goo!2 4e** !oneD 4y'e2
05C94ORTH: 5hD sto7ing the thighsD si2
H5MPHREY: Yes2 YesD I s6""ose so2 H''B
P5PIL IN FRONT: OhD si2 /iting the ne#72
H5MPHREY: Yes2 Goo!2 NiEE*ing the ea*oEeD 6hhD 7nea!ing the E6tto#7sD an! so on an! so foth2 SoD 8e ha1e a** these "ossiEi*ities Eefoe 8e
sta'"e!e to8a!s the #*itoisD 4atson2
4ATSON: YesD si2 SoyD si2
H5MPHREY: No8D a** these fo's of sti'6*ation #an no8 ta7e "*a#eD222
@#*6n7 #*6n7A
@#*6n7A
@#*6n7 #*6n7A
@#*6n7 #*6n7A
@t8ongA
222an!D of #o6seD tong6eing 8i** gi1e yo6 the Eest i!ea of ho8 the C6i#es ae #o'ing a*ong2 He*enH No8D "enetation an! #oit6s;; That is to sayD
inte#o6se 6" toD an! in#*6!ingD ogas'2 AhD he**oD !ea2 0o stan! 6" 8hen 'y 8ife entes the oo'D CateH
CARTER: OhD soyD si2 Soy2
HELEN 4ILLIAMS: H6'"heyD I ho"e yo6 !on't 'in!D E6t I to*! the Gafie*!s 8e 8o6*! !ine 8ith the' tonight2
H5MPHREY: Yes2 YesD 8e**D I s6""ose 8e '6st2
HELEN: An! I sai! 8e'! Ee thee Ey eight2
H5MPHREY: 4e**D at *east it'** gi1e 'e a eason to 8in! 6" the staff 'eeting2
HELEN: 4e**D I 7no8 yo6 !on't *i7e the'D E6t I #o6*!n't 'a7e anothe eF#6se2
H5MPHREY: 4e**D it's C6st that I fe*t n;; 4y'eH This is fo yo6 Eenefit2 4o6*! yo6 7in!*y 8a7e 6"B I'1e no intention of going tho6gh this a** again2
4YMER: Ahhh2
H5MPHREY: 5hhD 8e'** ta7e the foe"*ay as ea!D if yo6 !on't 'in!D !ea2
HELEN: NoD of #o6se notD H6'"hey2
H5MPHREY: SoD the 'an stats Ey enteing;; o 'o6nting;; his goo! *a!y 8ife in the stan!a! 8ay2 5hD the "enis is no8D as yo6 8i** oEse1eD 'oe o
*essD f6**y ee#t2 Thee 8e ae2 AhD that's Eette2 No8D;; Cate2
CARTER: YesD siB
H5MPHREY: 4hat is itB
CARTER: It's an o#ainaD si2
H5MPHREY: /ing it 6" hee2 The 'an no8 stats 'a7ing th6sting 'o1e'ents 8ith his "e*1i# aeaD 'o1ing the "enis 6" an! !o8n insi!e the 1aginaD
so;; P6t it theeD Eoy2 P6t it thee on the taE*e2
@#*6n7A
4hi*e the 8ife 'aFi'iJes he #*itoa* sti'6*ation Ey the shaft of the "enis Ey "6shing fo8a!D;; Than7 yo6D !ea2 No8D as seF6a*222
/IGGS: @#h6#7*ingA
H5MPHREY: 222eF#ite'ent 'o6ntsD 6hD;; 4hat's f6nnyD /iggsB
/IGGS: 5hD;; OhD nothingD si2
H5MPHREY: OhD !o "*ease shae yo6 *itt*e Co7e 8ith the est of 6s2 I 'eanD oE1io6s*y so'ething fightf6**y f6nny's going on2
P5PIL: @#h6#7*eA
/IGGS: No2 Honest*yD si2
H5MPHREY: 4e**D as it's so f6nnyD I thin7 yo6'! Eette Ee se*e#te! to "*ay fo the Eoys' tea' in the 6gEy 'at#h against the 'astes this aftenoonH
@'oEi! '6si#A
/IGGS: OhD noD si2
@8hist*eA
@7i#7A
CRO40: @#heeingA
@8hist*e 8hist*eA
@a""*a6seA
/OY: OhhH AaaahhH
H5MPHREY: 4e** !one2 O7ay2
/OYS: OhhH 56hhH
CRO40: @#heeingA
/OYS: 56hhH A82 5yH Ahh222
@8hist*e 8hist*e 8hist*e 8hist*eA
OohH 56hhH Sto" hi'2
@8hist*eA
CRO40: @#heeingA
@Eoo' Eoo' Eoo'222A
Pat III: Fighting Ea#h Othe
ANNO5NCER: The Meaning of Life: Pat Thee: Fighting Ea#h Othe2
@Eoo'A
SOL0IERS: Hh2 5hh2 Loo7 o6t2
@Eoo'A
5hh2 Ahh2
/IGGS: O7ay2 /*a#7ittD St6i!geD an! 4a*tesD yo6 ta7e the E6gges on the *eft f*an72 Ho!enD S"a!geD an! I222
@"8eengA
2228i** go fo the g6n"ost2
SPA0GER: RightD si2
/LAC9ITT: OhD hang on a ti#7D si2
SPA0GER: Yeah2
/LAC9ITT: Yo6'** ne1e 'a7e itD si2 Let 6s #o'e 8ith yo62
/IGGS: 0o as yo6'e to*!D 'an2
/LAC9ITT: Right;oD s7i""e2
@Eoo'A
OhD si2 SiD222 i;; if 8e;; 8e !on't 'eet againD siD I'! C6st *i7e to say it's Eeen a;; it's Eeen a ea* "i1i*ege fighting a*ongsi!e yo6D si2
/IGGS: YesD 8e**D222
SPA0GER: Yeah2
/IGGS: 222I thin7 this is222
@Eoo'A
222ha!*y the ti'e o "*a#e fo a goo!;Eye s"ee#hD ehB Hah2
/LAC9ITT: No2 NoD 'e an! the *a!s ea*ise thisD siD E6tD 8e**D222
/IGGS: Ehh2
/LAC9ITT: 2228e 'ay ne1e 'eet againD siD soD222 I;;
/IGGS: YesD a**;; a**;; a** ightD /*a#7itt2 Than7s a *ot2
/LAC9ITT: NoD ehD C6st a 'o'entD si2
SPA0GER: 06#72
/LAC9ITT: Yo6 seeD222
@Eoo'A
222'e an! the *a!sD 8e'1e ha! a *itt*e 8hi";ao6n!D si2
@Eoo'A
4e Eo6ght yo6 so'ethingD si2
SPA0GER: Ahh2
/LAC9ITT: 4e Eo6ght yo6 thisD si2
@#*in7 #*an7 #*in7A
SPA0GER: Ah2 Hhh2
/IGGS: Oh2 4e**D i;; I !on't 7no8 8hat to say2
@Eoo'A
It's a;; it's;; it's a *o1e*y tho6ght2
@Eoo'A
Than7 yo62 5hD than7 yo6 a**D222
@Eoo'A
SPA0GER: A** ightD si2
/IGGS: 222E6t;;
4ALTERS: Yo6'e 8e*#o'e2
@"8eeeeengA
/IGGS: /6t I;; I;; I;; I thin7 8e'! Eette get to #o1e no82
@Eoo'A
/LAC9ITT: Hang on a ti#7D si2 4e got so'ething e*se fo yo6 as 8e**D si2
SPA0GER: Aah2
/LAC9ITT: 5h2
SOL0IERS: Ah2 Ah2 Ehh222
@!ingA
/LAC9ITT: Soy it's anothe #*o#7D siD222
@Eoo'A
222on*y thee 8as a Eit of a 'iF;6"2 4e**D 4a*tes tho6ght he 8as E6ying the "esentD an! S"a!ge an! I ha! a*ea!y got the othe one2
/IGGS: 4e**D it's;; it's Eea6tif6*2
@Ji'' Ji'' Ji''A
They'e Eoth Eea6tif6*2
@Ji'' Ji'' Ji''A
@!ingA
4ALTERS: AahH
@Eoo'A
/IGGS: I;; I thin7 8e'! Eette get to #o1e no8D222
/LAC9ITT: OhD siD an! Co";;
/IGGS: 222an! I'** than7 yo6 "o"e*y *ate on2
SPA0GER: 5hh2 Ehh2
/LAC9ITT: Co"oa* St6i!ge got this fo yo6 as 8e**D si2 He !i!n't 7no8 aEo6t the othesD si2 It's S8iss2
/IGGS: OhD 8e**D no8D that is tho6ghtf6*D St6i!ge2 Goo! 'an2
@Eoo'A
/LAC9ITT: An! thee's a #a!D siD222 fo' a** of 6s2 Soy aEo6t the E*oo!D si2
@Eoo'A
/IGGS: Than7 yo6 a**2
/LAC9ITT: SI6a!D222
@Eoo'A
222thee #hees fo Ca"tain /iggs2 Hi" hi";;
@Eoo'A
SOL0IERS: HooayH
/LAC9ITT: Hi" hi";;
SOL0IERS: HooayH
/LAC9ITT: Hi" hi";;
@Eoo'A
OoooohH
SOL0IERS: HooayH
/IGGS: /*a#7ittH /*a#7ittH
/LAC9ITT: I;; I'** Ee a** ightD si2 OhD thee's C6st222 one othe thingD si2 S"a!geD gi1e hi' the #heI6e2
SPA0GER: OhD yeah2 5hh2
/IGGS: OhD no8D this is ea**y going too fa2
SPA0GER: Oh2 I !on't see' to Ee aE*e to fin! itD si2 5hhD it'** Ee in;; Ee in N6'Ee Fo6 Ten#h2 I'** go an! get it2
/IGGS: Fo Chist's sa7eD foget itD 'anH
@Eoo'A
SPA0GER: Yo6 sho6*!n't ha1e sai! thatD si2
@Eoo'A
Yo6'1e h6t his fee*ings no82
/LAC9ITT: 0on't 'in! 'eD S"a!ge2 Toffs is a** the sa'e2 One 'in6te it's a** '"*ease' an! 'than7 yo6'D an! the neFtD they'** 7i#7 yo6 in the teethH
ST5RRI0GE: Yeah2
/LAC9ITT: @#o6ghA
4ALTERS: Let's not gi1e hi' the #a7e2
/IGGS: I !on't 8ant any #a7e2
SPA0GER: Loo72 /*a#7itt #oo7e! it s"e#ia**y fo yo6D yo6 Easta!H
ST5RRI0GE: YeahD he sa1e! his ations fo siF 8ee7sD si2
/IGGS: Soy2 I !i!n't 'ean to Ee 6ngatef6*2
SPA0GER: Yeah2
/LAC9ITT: I'** Ee a** ight2
@Eoo'A
AhhH
SPA0GER: /*a#7ittH /*a#7ieH Loo7 at hi'2 He 8o7e! on that #a7e *i7e no one e*se I'1e e1e 7no8n2
@Eoo'A
So'e nights it 8as so #o*!D 8e #o6*! ha!*y 'o1eD E6t /*a#7ie'! Ee o6t thee s*i#ing the *e'onsD 'iFing the s6ga an! the a*'on!s2
@Eoo'A
I 'eanD yo6 ty tying to get E6tte to 'e*t at fifteen !egees Ee*o8 JeoH Thee's *o1e in that #a7e2 This 'an's *o1e222 an! this 'an's #ae222 an! this ';;
@Eoo'A
AghhH
/IGGS: OhD 'y ChistH
ST5RRI0GE: Yo6 Easta!2
/IGGS: A** ightH
@Eoo'A
4e 8i** eat the #a7eH
@'6si#A
They'e ight2 It's;;
@"8eeeeengA
It's too goo! a #a7e not to eatH Get the222 "*ates an! 7ni1esD 4a*tes2
4ALTERS: YesD si2 Ho8 'any "*atesB
/IGGS: SiF2
4ALTERS: Fine2
@Eoo'A
AahhH
/IGGS: 5h2
4ALTERS: Agh2
/IGGS: Oh2 /ette 'a7e it fi1e2
ST5RRI0GE: TaE*e#*othD siB
/IGGS: YesD get the taE*e#*oth2
@Eoo'A
ST5RRI0GE: AaghhH 5h2
/IGGS: NoD noD noD no2 I'**;;
@Eoo'A
I'** get the taE*e#*oth an! yo6'! Eette get the gate;*eg taE*eD Ho!en2
@Eoo'A
HOR0ERN: Ohh2 AahhH An! the *itt*e 'atsD siB
/IGGS: YesH
HOR0ERN: Right;o2
/IGGS: A** ightD 8hi*e yo6'e at itD yo6'! Eette get a !oi*yH
HOR0ERN: I'** Eing t8oD siD in #ase one gets s#6'"*e!2
/IGGS: O7ayH Eh2
@Eoo' Eoo' Eoo'A
GENERAL: 4e**D of #o6seD 8afae isn't a** f6n2 Right2 Sto" thatH It's a** 1ey 8e** to *a6gh at the Mi*itayD E6tD 8hen one #onsi!es the 'eaning of *ifeD
it is a st6gg*e Eet8een a*tenati1e 1ie8"oints of *ife itse*fD an! 8itho6t the aEi*ity to !efen! one's o8n 1ie8"oint against othe "eha"s 'oe aggessi1e
i!eo*ogiesD then easonaE*eness an! 'o!eation #o6*!D I6ite si'"*yD !isa""ea2 That is 8hy 8e'** a*8ays nee! an a'yD an! 'ay Go! sti7e 'e !o8n
8ee it to Ee othe8ise2
@Jifff Eoo'A
SERGEANT MA)OR: 0on't stan! thee ga8"ing *i7e yo6'1e ne1e seen the Han! of Go! EefoeH No8D to!ayD 8e'e going to !o 'a#hing 6" an! !o8n
the sI6aeH That isD 6n*ess any of yo6 got anything Eette to !o2 4e**BH Anyone got anything they'! athe Ee !oing than 'a#hing 6" an! !o8n the
sI6aeBH YesBH At7inson2 4hat 8o6*! yo6222 athe Ee !oingD At7insonB
AT9INSON: 4e**D to Ee I6ite honestD SageD I'!222 athe Ee at ho'e 8ith the 8ife an! 7i!s2
SERGEANT MA)OR: 4o6*! yo6D no8BH
AT9INSON: YesD Sage2
SERGEANT MA)OR: RightH Off yo6 goH No8D e1eyEo!y e*se ha""y 8ith 'y *itt*e "*an222 of 'a#hing 6" an! !o8n the sI6ae a EitB
COLES: SageH
SERGEANT MA)OR: YesBH
COLES: I'1e got a Eoo7 I'! I6ite *i7e to ea!2
SERGEANT MA)OR: RightH Yo6 go ea! yo6 Eoo7D thenH No8H E1eyEo!y e*se222 I6ite #ontent to Coin in222 8ith 'y *itt*e s#he'e of 'a#hing 6" an!
!o8n the sI6aeBH
4YCLIF: SageB
SERGEANT MA)OR: YesD 4y#*ifBH 4hat is itBH
4YCLIF: 4e**D I''D 6hD *eaning the "iano2
SERGEANT MA)OR: Leaning the "ianoBH
4YCLIF: YesD Sage2
SERGEANT MA)OR: An! I s6""ose yo6 8ant to go an! "a#tiseD ehB Ma#hing 6" an! !o8n the sI6ae not goo! eno6gh fo yo6D ehBH
4YCLIF: 4e**D;;
SERGEANT MA)OR: RightH Off yo6 goH
4YCLIF: Oh2
SERGEANT MA)OR: No8H 4hat aEo6t the est of yo6B Rathe Ee at the "i#t6esD I s6""ose2
S:5A0: Yeah2 Yeah2 Yeah2 OohD yeah2 Yeah2 Right2 Yeah2 Right2
SERGEANT MA)OR: A** ightH Off yo6 goH
S:5A0: Oh2 Ooh2 Geat2 That's geat2 4hat a !ay2 I 8ant to see the Me*e OEeon "i#t6e2 Eh hehheh2
SERGEANT MA)OR: /*oo!y a'yH I !on't 7no8 8hat it's #o'ing to2 RightH Segeant MaCoD 'a#hing 6" an! !o8n the sI6ae2 LeftD ightD *eft2
Left222
NARRATOR %&: 0e'o#a#y an! h6'anitaianis' ha1e a*8ays Eeen ta!e'a7s of the /itish A'y222
SERGEANT MA)OR: R6EEishH
NARRATOR %&: ShhH 222An! ha1e sta'"e! its ti6'"h tho6gho6t histoyD in the f6thest;f*6ng #ones of the E'"ieD222
@'ayhe'A
222E6tD no 'atte 8hee o 8hen thee 8as fighting to Ee !oneD222
@"atioti# '6si#A
222it has a*8ays Eeen the #a*' *ea!eshi" of the Offi#e #*ass that has 'a!e the /itish A'y 8hat it is2
@8hooshA
@#ashA
@'6si# sto"sA
AINS4ORTH: 'S#6se 'e2
PA9ENHAM;4ALSH: MoningD Ains8oth2
AINS4ORTH: MoningD Pa7enha'2
PA9ENHAM;4ALSH: S*ee" 8e**B
AINS4ORTH: Not Ea!2 /it to she!sD tho6gh2 M6st Ee a ho*e in the E*oo!y 'osI6ito net2
PA9ENHAM;4ALSH: Yes2 Sa1age *itt*e E*ightesD aen't theyB
@#*in7A
FIRST LIE5TENANT CHA04IC9: EF#6se 'eD si2
AINS4ORTH: YesD Cha!8i#7B
CHA04IC9: I'' afai! Pe7ins got athe Ea!*y Eitten !6ing the night2
AINS4ORTH: 4e**D so !i! 8e2 H6h2
CHA04IC9: YesD E6t I !o thin7 !o#to o6ght to see hi'2
AINS4ORTH: 4e**D go an! fet#h hi'D then2
CHA04IC9: Right yo6 aeD si2
AINS4ORTH: S6""ose I'! Eette go a*ong2 Co'ingD Pa7enha'B
PA9ENHAM;4ALSH: YesD I s6""ose so2
AINS4ORTH: Caef6*H
PA9ENHAM;4ALSH: Co'e onD Eoy2
@'ayhe'A
AINS4ORTH: AhH MoningD Pe7ins2
PER9INS: MoningD si2
AINS4ORTH: 4hat'sD 6hD;; 8hat's a** the to6E*eD thenB
PER9INS: /ittenD si2 06ing the night2
AINS4ORTH: H''2 4ho*e *eg goneD ehB
PER9INS: Yes2
AINS4ORTH: Ho8 !oes it fee*B
PER9INS: Stings a Eit2
AINS4ORTH: M''2 4e**D it 8o6*!D 8o6*!n't itB That'sD 6hD222 I6ite a Eite yo6'1e got theeD yo6 7no82
PER9INS: YesD a222 ea* Eea6tyD isn't itB
AINS4ORTH: Any i!ea ho8 it ha""ene!B
PER9INS: None 8hatsoe1e2 Co'"*ete 'ystey to 'e2 4o7e 6" C6st no8D one so#7 too 'any2
PA9ENHAM;4ALSH: Yo6 '6st ha1e a he** of a ho*e in yo6 net2
AINS4ORTH: H''2 4e**D 8e'1e sent fo the !o#to2
PER9INS: OhhD ha!*y 8oth itD isn't itB
AINS4ORTH: OhD yes2 /ette safe than soy2
PA9ENHAM;4ALSH: Yes2 Goo! Lo!D *oo7 at this2
AINS4ORTH: /y Co1eD that's eno'o6sH
PA9ENHAM;4ALSH: Yo6 !on't thin7 it'** #o'e Ea#7D !o yo6B
AINS4ORTH: Fo 'oeD yo6 'eanB
PA9ENHAM;4ALSH: Yes2
AINS4ORTH: Yo6'e ight2 4e'! Eette get this stit#he!2
PA9ENHAM;4ALSH: Right2
AINS4ORTH: AhD he**oD !o#2
0OCTOR LI3INGSTONE: MoningH I #a'e as fast as I #o6*!2 IsD 6hhD;; is so'ething 6"B
AINS4ORTH: Yes2 5hD !6ing the nightD o*! Pe7ins got his *eg Eitten sot of222 off2 M'B
0OCTOR LI3INGSTONE: Ahh2 /een in the 8asD ha1e 8eB
PA9ENHAM;4ALSH: Mh'2
PER9INS: Yes2
0OCTOR LI3INGSTONE: Ehh2 Any hea!a#heB /o8e*s a** ightB M'2 4e**D *et's ha1e a *oo7 at this one *eg of yo6sD thenD ehB Yes2 Yes2 YesD yes2
Yes2 Yes2 YesD yes2 YesD 8e**D this is nothing to 8oy aEo6t2
PER9INS: OhD goo!2
0OCTOR LI3INGSTONE: YesD thee's a *ot of it aEo6t2 PoEaE*y a 1i6s2 5hD 7ee" 8a'D "*enty of estD an! if yo6'e "*aying footEa** o anythingD ty
an! fa1o6 the othe *eg2
PER9INS: Oh2
0OCTOR LI3INGSTONE: Mh'2
PER9INS: Right;o2
0OCTOR LI3INGSTONE: /e as ight as ain in a #o6"*e of !ays2
PER9INS: Oh2 Than7s fo the eass6an#eD !o#2
0OCTOR LI3INGSTONE: Not at a**2 That's 8hat I'' hee fo2 Any othe "oE*e's I #an eass6e yo6 aEo6tB
PER9INS: NoD I'' fine2
0OCTOR LI3INGSTONE: )o**y goo!2 4e**D '6st Ee off2 M;h''2
PER9INS: SoD it'**D ehhD;; it'** C6st go8 Ea#7 againD thenD 8i** itB
0OCTOR LI3INGSTONE: 5hhD222 I thin7 I'! Eette #o'e #*ean 8ith yo6 aEo6t this2 It'sD 6'D;; it's not a 1i6sD I'' afai!2 Yo6 seeD a 1i6s is 8hat 8e
!o#tos #a** 1eyD 1ey s'a**2 So s'a**D it #o6*! not "ossiE*y ha1e 'a!e off 8ith a 8ho*e *eg2 4hat 8e'e *oo7ing fo hee isD I thin7D;; An! this is no
'oe than an e!6#ate! g6ess2 I'! *i7e to 'a7e that #*ea2 222Is so'e '6*ti;#e**6*a *ife fo' 8ith sti"esD h6ge aJo;sha" teethD aEo6t e*e1en foot *ongD
an! of the gen6s Fe*is HoiEi*is: 8hat 8e !o#tosD in fa#tD #a** a 'tige'2
PER9INSD PA9ENHAM;4ALSHD an! AINS4ORTH: A tigeBH
E3ERYONE: A tigeBH
@'ayhe'A
PA9ENHAM;4ALSH: A tige222 in Afi#aB
AINS4ORTH: H'B
PA9ENHAM;4ALSH: A tige in Afi#aBH
AINS4ORTH: 4;; AhD 8e**D itD 6hD;; it has "oEaE*y es#a"e! fo' a Joo2 Mh'2
PA9ENHAM;4ALSH: 0oesn't so6n! 1ey *i7e*y to 'e2
AINS4ORTH: St6''2 St6''2 St6''2
SERGEANT: SiH
AINS4ORTH: St6''2
SERGEANT: SiH SiH SiH The atta#7's o1eD siH The <6*6s ae eteatingH
AINS4ORTH: OhD Co**y goo!2 Mh'2
SERGEANT: :6ite a *ot of #as6a*tiesD tho6ghD si2
AINS4ORTH: M;h''2
SERGEANT: 'C' 0i1ision 8i"e! o6t2
AINS4ORTH: Yes2
SERGEANT: Signa*s gone2
AINS4ORTH: Yes2
SERGEANT: Thity 'en 7i**e! in 'F' Se#tion2
AINS4ORTH: Yes2 I see2 M'2
SERGEANT: I sho6*! thin7 aEo6t a h6n!e!;; h6n!e! an! fifty 'en a*togetheD si2
AINS4ORTH: )o**y goo!2 @sniffA
SERGEANT: I ha1en't got the fina* fig6esD siD E6t thee's a *ot of seio6s*y222
AINS4ORTH: Yes2
SERGEANT: 2228o6n!e! in the #o'"o6n!2
AINS4ORTH: Yes2 4e**D the thing isD SegeantD I'1e got a Eit of a "oE*e' hee2 One of the offi#es has *ost a *eg2
SERGEANT: OhD noD siH
AINS4ORTH: I'' afai! so2 PoEaE*y a tige2
SERGEANT: In Afi#aB
AINS4ORTH: St6''2
PA9ENHAM;4ALSH: @'6'E*eA
AINS4ORTH: St6''2 St6''2 St6''2 The M2O2 says 8e #an stit#h it Ea#7 on if 8e #an fin! it i''e!iate*y2
SERGEANT: RightD siH I'** oganise a "aty222 ight a8ayD si2
AINS4ORTH: 4e**D it's ha!*y the ti'e fo thatD is it SegeantB
SERGEANT: Loo72 A;; a sea#h "aty2
AINS4ORTH: OhH OhH AhH AhhH M6#h Eette i!eaH Mh''2
3ICTIMS: @'oaningA
SERGEANT: OhD soy aEo6t the 'essD si2 4e'** ty an! get it #*eae! 6" Ey the ti'e yo6 get Ea#72
3ICTIM %&: 4e sho8e! 'e'D !i!n't 8eD siB
AINS4ORTH: Yes2
SERGEANT: HeeD 8e'1e got a sea#h "aty2 Lea1e that a*one2
3ICTIM %(: This is f6nD siD isn't itB A** this 7i**ingD E*oo!she!;; /*oo!y goo! f6nD siD isn't itB
RAN0OM: @#o6ghA
AINS4ORTH: Yes2 3ey goo!2
POTTER'S HEA0: MoningD siH
RAN0OM: Agh2
AINS4ORTH: Nasty 8o6n! yo6'1e got theeD Potte2
POTTER'S HEA0: Than7 yo6 1ey '6#hD siH
RAN0OM: Aghh2
RAN0OM: Aahh2
AINS4ORTH: Co'e onD Pi1ate2 4e'e 'a7ing 6" a sea#h "aty2
3ICTIM %+: /ette than staying at ho'eD isn't thisD siB EhB I 'eanD at ho'eD if yo6 7i** so'eoneD they aest yo62 HeeD they gi1e yo6 a g6n an! sho8
yo6 8hat to !oD si2
RAN0OM: Ooh2
3ICTIM %+: I 'eanD I 7i**e! fifteen of those E6ggesD si2 No8D at ho'eD they'! hang 'eH HeeD they'** gi1e 'e a f6#7ing 'e!a*D siH
@C6ng*e so6n!sA
AINS4ORTH: HahD 'h' 'h' 'h'2
SERGEANT: SoyD si2
PA9ENHAM;4ALSH: Than7 yo6D Segeant MaCo2
CHA04IC9: M' h'2
AINS4ORTH: Loo7H My Go!D it's h6geH
@go8*A
@Eang Eang Eang222A
@e88A
REAR EN0: 5hh2 5hD !on't shoot2 0on't shoot2 4e'e not a tige2 4;; 5hhD 8e 8ee C6s;; s;; stD 6'D;;
AINS4ORTH: 4hy ae yo6 !esse! as a tigeB
REAR EN0: H'B OhD '8hy'H '4hy'H '4hy'H HaahhD isn't it a *o1e*y !ay to!ayB
AINS4ORTH: Ans8e the I6estion2
REAR EN0: OhD 8e 8ee C6stD 6'D;;
FRONT EN0: 4e**D 6hhD a#t6a**yD 8e'e;; 8e'e !esse! *i7e this Ee#a6seD 6hD;; Oh2 NoD that's not it2
REAR EN0: 5hD 8e !i! it fo a *a72 Pat of a s"ee2 High s"iitsD yo6 7no82 Si'"*e as that2 H'2
FRONT EN0: Nothing 'oe to it2 Hah2
REAR EN0: Ha ha2
FRONT EN0: 4e**D a#t6a**yD 8e'e on a 'ission fo /itish Inte**igen#e2 Th;; th;; thee's a "o;Tsaist Ashanti ChiefD 6hD;;
REAR EN0: NoD no2 No2 NoD no2
FRONT EN0: 5hD no2 NoD noD no2 No2 No2 No2
REAR EN0: No2 NoD noD noD no2 No2 NoD 8e'e !oing it fo an a!1etise'ent2
FRONT EN0: AhD that's it2
REAR EN0: Mh'2
FRONT EN0: 5hhD foget aEo6t the R6ssians2
REAR EN0: Mh'2
FRONT EN0: 5hD 8e'e;; 8e'e !oing an a!1et fo 'Tige' Ean! #offee2
REAR EN0: 'Tige' Ean! #offee is a ea* teat2 E1en tiges "efe a #6" of it to ea* 'eat2 M'2
AINS4ORTH: No8 *oo72
REAR EN0: A** ight2 A** ight2 4e ae !esse! as a tige Ee#a6se he ha! an a6ntie 8ho !i! it in eighteen;thity;nineD an! this is the fiftieth anni1esay2
FRONT EN0: No2 4e'e !oing it fo a Eet2
REAR EN0: Go! to*! 6s to !o it2
FRONT EN0: To te** the t6thD 8e ae #o'"*ete*y 'a!2
REAR EN0: @gi'a#ingA
FRONT EN0: 4e ae;; 8e ae in'ates of a /enga*i "sy#hiati# instit6tion an! 8e es#a"e! Ey 'a7ing this s7in o6t of o*!D 6se! #eea* "a#7ets2
REAR EN0: Mh'2
PER9INS: It !oesn't 'atteH
AINS4ORTH: 4hatB
PER9INS: It !oesn't 'atte 8hy they'e !esse! as a tige2 Ha1e they got 'y *egB
AINS4ORTH: Goo! thin7ingH 4e**D ha1e yo6B
REAR EN0: A#t6a**yD222
AINS4ORTH: YesB
REAR EN0: 222it's Ee#a6se 8e 8ee thin7ing of taining as taFi!e'ists an! 8e 8ant to get the fee* of it fo' the ani'a*'s "oint of 1ie82
AINS4ORTH: /e I6iet2 No8 *oo72 4e'e C6st as7ing yo6 if yo6'1e got this 'an's *eg2
FRONT EN0: A 8oo!en *egB
AINS4ORTH: NoD no2 A "o"e *egH Loo72 He 8as fast as*ee"D an! so'eone o so'ething #a'e in an! e'o1e! it2
FRONT EN0: 4itho6t 8a7ing hi' 6"B
AINS4ORTH: Yes2
FRONT EN0: I !on't Ee*ie1e yo62
REAR EN0: 4e fo6n! the tige s7in in a Ei#y#*e sho" in Caio2 The o8ne 8ante! it ta7en !o8n to 0a Es Sa*aa';;
AINS4ORTH: Sh6t 6"H No8 *oo72 Ha1e yo6 o ha1e yo6 not got his *egB
REAR EN0: Yes2
FRONT EN0: No2
REAR EN0: No2
FRONT EN0: NoD noD no2
REAR EN0: No2 NoD noD no2
FRONT EN0: NoD noD noD noD noD noD noD noD noD noD noD no2
REAR EN0: NoD noD no2 No2 No2 No2 No2
AINS4ORTH: 4hy !i! yo6 say 'yes'B
FRONT EN0: I !i!n't2
AINS4ORTH: I'' not ta*7ing to yo62
REAR EN0: 56'2 56'2 H''hh2
AINS4ORTH: RightH Sea#h the thi#7et2
FRONT EN0: OhD #o'e on2 I 'eanD !o 8e *oo7 *i7e the sot of #ha"s 8ho'! #ee" into a #a'" at nightD stea* into so'eone's tentD anaesthetise the'D
tiss6e;ty"e the'D a'"6tate a *egD an! 6n a8ay 8ith itB
AINS4ORTH: Sea#h the thi#7et2
FRONT EN0: OhD '*eg'H Yo6'e *oo7ing fo a *egH A#t6a**yD I thin7 thee is one in thee so'e8hee2 5hhD so'eEo!y '6st ha1e aEan!one! it heeD
7no8ing yo6 8ee #o'ing afte itD an! 8e st6'E*e! a#oss itD a#t6a**yD an! 8on!ee! 8hat it 8asD an! they'** Ee 'i*es a8ay Ey no8D222
@tho#7A
222an! I eF"e#t 8e'** ha1e to ta7e a** of the E*a'e2
REAR EN0: H'h'2 As 6s6a*2
<5L5 ANNO5NCER: He**o2 Goo! e1eningD an! 8e*#o'e to 'The Mi!!*e of the Fi*''2
The Mi!!*e of the Fi*'
@'6si#A
LA0Y PRESENTER: He**oD an! 8e*#o'e to 'The Mi!!*e of the Fi*''D the 'o'ent 8hee 8e ta7e a Eea7 to in1ite yo6D the a6!ien#eD to Coin 6sD the
fi*';'a7esD in 'Fin! the Fish'2 4e'e going to sho8 yo6 a s#ene fo' anothe fi*' an! as7 yo6 to g6ess 8hee the fish isD E6tD if yo6 thin7 yo6 7no8D
!on't 7ee" it to yo6se*1esH Ye** o6t so that a** the #ine'a #an hea yo62 SoD hee 8e ae 8ith222 'Fin! the Fish'2
Fin! the Fish
@'6si#A
STRANGE MAN: I 8on!e 8hee that fish has gone2
STRANGE 4OMAN: Yo6 !i! *o1e it so2 Yo6 *oo7e! afte it *i7e a son2
STRANGE MAN: An! it 8ent 8hee1e I !i! go2
STRANGE 4OMAN: Is it in the #6"Eoa!B
A50IENCE: YesH YesH NoH222
STRANGE 4OMAN: 4o6*!n't yo6 *i7e to 7no8B It 8as a *o1e*y *itt*e fish2
STRANGE MAN: An! it 8ent 8hee1e I !i! go2
MAN IN A50IENCE: It's Eehin! the sofaH
STRANGE 4OMAN: 4hee #an that fish EeB
MAN IN A50IENCE: Ha1e yo6 tho6ght of the !a8es in the E6ea6BH
RAN0OM: ShhH
STRANGE 4OMAN: It is a 'ost e*6si1e fishH
STRANGE MAN: An! it 8ent 8hee1e I !i! go2
STRANGE 4OMAN: OooohD fishyD fishyD fishy fishH
STRANGE MAN: A;fishD a;fishD a;fishD a;fishyD ooooh2
STRANGE 4OMAN: OooohD fishyD fishyD fishy fishH
STRANGE MAN: That 8ent 8hee1e I !i! go2
MAN IN A50IENCE: Loo7 6" his t6n7H
MAN IN A50IENCE: YeahD it's hi!!en in his to6sesH
@g6g*ingA
FISH %&: That 8as teifi#H
FISH %(: GeatH
FISH %,: 4on!ef6*2
FISH %(: YeahH
FISH %-: Yeah2
FISH %+: /est Eit so fa2
FISHES: @'6'E*ingA
FISH %(: Fantasti#H
FISH %&: Yeah2
FISH %(: YesH Rea**y geatH
FISH %.: 3ey "is#ine2
FISH %-: Ha ha hah2
FISH %.: Yeah2 HeeD heeD heeD hee2
FISH %,: OhH
FISH %.: Ahh2
FISH %&: Heh2
@"a6seA
FISH %(: They ha1en't sai! '6#h aEo6t the 'eaning of *ife so faD ha1e theyB
FISH %&: 4e**D it's Eeen E6i*!ing 6" to it2
FISH %,: Has itB
FISH %(: Has itB
FISH %+: YeahD I eF"e#t they'** get on to it no82
FISH %-: Pesona**yD I 1ey '6#h !o6Et if they'e going to say anything aEo6t the 'eaning of *ife at a**2
FISH %.: OhD #o'e on2 They'1e got to say so'ething2
FISH %+: They'e Eo6n! to2
FISH %(: Yeah2
FISH %,: Yeah2
FISH %&: Yeah2
@"a6seA
FISH %+: 4hat !o yo6 thin7 the neFt Eit 8i** EeD thenB
FISH %&: Ca"tionD I eF"e#t2
FISH %.: 4hatB AEo6t the neFt stage of *ifeD yo6 'eanB OhD yeah2 Hee 8e go2
Pat I3: Mi!!*e Age
ANNO5NCER: Mi!!*e Age2
FISH %.: Oh2 Co6*!'1e g6esse! it2
MR2 MAR3IN HEN0Y: OhD that's '6#h Eette2 Than7 yo6D honey2
MRS2 HEN0Y: Yo6'e 8e*#o'e2
MR2 HEN0Y: M'''2 It 8as a** sot of 'isty Eefoe2
MRS2 HEN0Y: M;h''2
MR2 HEN0Y: That's fine2
M'LA0Y )OELINE: HiH Ho8 ae yo6B
MR2 HEN0Y: OhD 8e'e C6st fineH
)OELINE: 4hat 7in! of foo! '! yo6 *i7e to eat this e1eningB
MR2 HEN0Y: 4e**D 8e sot of *i7e "inea""*es2
)OELINE: Pinea""*e2 M''2
MRS2 HEN0Y: YeahD 8e *o1e "inea""*e2
)OELINE: M''2
MR2 HEN0Y: YeahD anything 8ith "inea""*e in it is geat fo 6s2
)OELINE: M'2 4e**D ho8 aEo6t the 06ngeon Roo'B
MRS2 HEN0Y: OhD *oo72
MR2 HEN0Y: OhhD that so6n!s fineH
)OELINE: S6e is2 It's ea* Ha8aiian foo! se1e! in an a6thenti#D 'e!ie1a* Eng*ish !6ngeon at'os"hee2
MR2 HEN0Y: OhhB
MRS2 HEN0Y: It's;;
@ssssssA
PRISONER: AaaaaaaaaaahH
@Ha8aiian '6si#A
Aah2 Ah2 Aah2 Aaaaah2 AaaaaahH
MR2 HEN0Y: H'' ' '' '' '''' '' '' ''''2 Isn't this ni#eB Ha hah2 4hy notB Goo! shot2 Rea* 9o!a72 OhH Than7 yo62 Than7 yo6
1ey '6#h2 H' '' ''''2 0ah !ah222
PRISONER: AaaaaaaaaaahH
MR2 HEN0Y: 222!ah !ah !ah !ah !aah2 0aah2
MRS2 HEN0Y: H'2
MR2 HEN0Y: H6hh h6h ''2 M''2
MRS2 HEN0Y: H'' h''2
MR2 HEN0Y: H;'''2
MRS2 HEN0Y: H''2
MR2 HEN0Y: M''2
4AITER: Goo! e1eningH 5hhD 8o6*! yo6 #ae fo so'ething to222 ta*7 aEo6tB
MR2 HEN0Y: OhD that 8o6*! Ee 8on!ef6*2
4AITER: O6 s"e#ia* tonight is 'inoitiesH
MR2 HEN0Y: OhhD that so6n!s ea* inteesting2
MRS2 HEN0Y: 5'D 8hat's this #on1esation heeB
4AITER: 5hD that'sD 6hD 'footEa**'2 Thee yo6 #an ta*7 aEo6t the Stee*es;/eas ga'e this Sat6!ayD o yo6 #o6*!D 6hD e'inis#e aEo6t ea**y geat 4o*!
Seies2
MRS2 HEN0Y: NoD noD noD no2
MR2 HEN0Y: 4hat is this one heeB
4AITER: 5hhD that's '"hi*oso"hy'2
MRS2 HEN0Y: Is that a s"otB
4AITER: AahD noD it's 'oe of an atte'"t toD 6hD #onst6#t a 1iaE*e hy"othesis toD 6hD eF"*ain the 'eaning of *ife2
FISH %+: 4hat 8as thatB
FISH %-: 4hat's he sayB
FISH %,: 4hat 8as thatBH
FISH %(: Sh6sh2
FISH %-: EhB
MR2 HEN0Y: OhD that so6n!s 8on!ef6*2 4o6*! yo6 *i7e to ta*7 aEo6t the 'eaning of *ifeD !a*ingB
MRS2 HEN0Y: S6e2 4hy notB
4AITER: Phi*oso"hy fo t8oB
MR2 HEN0Y: Right2
4AITER: Roo'B
MR2 HEN0Y: T8o;fi1e;nine2
4AITER: T8o;fi1e;nine2
MR2 HEN0Y: Y6"2 5hhD;; 6hD h;; ho8 !o 8e;;
4AITER: OhD 6hhD yo6 fo*7s 8ant 'e to stat yo6 offB
MR2 HEN0Y: OhD ea**yD 8e'! a""e#iate that2
4AITER: O7ayH
MR2 HEN0Y: Yeah2
4AITER: 4e**D ehhD222
MR2 HEN0Y: Mh''2
4AITER: 222*oo72 Ha1e yo6 e1e 8on!ee!222 C6st 8hy yo6'e heeB
MR2 HEN0Y: 4e**D 8e 8ent to Mia'i *ast yea an! Ca*ifonia the yea Eefoe thatD an! 8e'1e;;
4AITER: NoD noD no2 I 'eanD 6hD 8;; 8hy 8e'e hee222 on this "*anet2
MR2 HEN0Y: H'''2 No2
4AITER: RightH AaahD yo6 e1e 8ante! to 7no8 8hat it's a** aEo6tB
MR2 HEN0Y: No"e2
MRS2 HEN0Y: No2 No2
4AITER: Right;oH AahD 8e**D 6hD seeD tho6gho6t histoyD222
MR2 HEN0Y: M;h''2
4AITER: 222thee ha1e Eeen #etain 'en an! 8o'en 8ho ha1e tie! to fin! the so*6tion to the 'ysteies of eFisten#eD222
MRS2 HEN0Y: G;eat2
4AITER: 222an! 8e #a** these g6ys '"hi*oso"hes'H
MR2 HEN0Y: Ohh2
MRS2 HEN0Y: An! that's 8hat 8e'e ta*7ing aEo6t2
4AITER: RightH
MR2 HEN0Y: Yeah2
MRS2 HEN0Y: OhhD that's neatH
4AITER: 4e**D yo6 *oo7 *i7e yo6'e getting the i!eaD so 8hy !on't I gi1e yo6 theseD 6hD #on1esation #a!sB They'** te** yo6 a *itt*e aEo6t "hi*oso"hi#a*
'etho!D222
MR2 HEN0Y: Oh2
4AITER: 222na'es of fa'o6s "hi*oso"hesD;; 5hD thee yo6 ae2 5hhD ha1e a ni#e #on1esationH
MR2 HEN0Y: OhD than7 yo62 Than7 yo6 1ey '6#h2
MRS2 HEN0Y: He's #6te2
MR2 HEN0Y: YeahD ea*;;
MRS2 HEN0Y: Yeah2
MR2 HEN0Y: Rea* 6n!estan!ing2 M''2
MRS2 HEN0Y: OhH I ne1e 7ne8 S#ho"enha6e 8as a "hi*oso"heH
MR2 HEN0Y: OhD yeahH He's the one that Eegins 8ith an 'S'2
MRS2 HEN0Y: Oh2
MR2 HEN0Y: 5''D *i7eD 6hD 'NietJs#he'2
MRS2 HEN0Y: 0oes 'NietJs#he' Eegin 8ith an 'S'B
MR2 HEN0Y: 5hD thee's an 's' in 'NietJs#he'2
MRS2 HEN0Y: OhD 8o82 YesD thee is2 0o a** "hi*oso"hes ha1e an 's' in the'B
MR2 HEN0Y: 5hD yeahH I thin7 'ost of 'e' !o2
MRS2 HEN0Y: Oh2 0oes that 'ean Se*ina )ones is a "hi*oso"heB
MR2 HEN0Y: YeahH RightH She #o6*! EeH She sings aEo6t the 'eaning of *ife2
MRS2 HEN0Y: Yeah2 That's ightD E6t I !on't thin7 she 8ites he o8n 'ateia*2
MR2 HEN0Y: No2 OhD 'ayEe S#ho"enha6e 8ites he 'ateia*2
MRS2 HEN0Y: No2 /6t /a#haa#h 8ites it2
MR2 HEN0Y: /6t thee's no 's' in '/6t /a#haa#h'2
MRS2 HEN0Y: O in 'Ha* 0a1i!'2
MR2 HEN0Y: 4ho's Ha* 0a1i!B
MRS2 HEN0Y: He 8ites the *yi#s2 /6t C6st 8ites the t6nesD on*y no8D he's 'aie! to Cao*e /aye Sage2
MR2 HEN0Y: OhD 8aite2 This #on1esation isn't 1ey goo!2
4AITER: OhD I'' soyD siH 5hhD 8e !o ha1e one to!ay that's not on the 'en62 It's sot of a s"e#ia*ty of the ho6seD yo6 7no82
MR2 HEN0Y: OhD yes2
4AITER: 'Li1e Ogan Tans"*ants'2
MRS2 HEN0Y: 'Li1e Ogan Tans"*ants'B 4hat's thatB
Pat 3: Li1e Ogan Tans"*ants
@1io*in '6si#A
ANNO5NCER: The Meaning of Life: Pat Fi1e: Li1e Ogan Tans"*ants2
@!ing !ongA
MR2 /RO4N: @#o6ghA 0on't 8oyD !eaH I'** get itH @#o6ghA
@!ing !ong !ing !ongA
@!ing !ong !ing !ongA
MR2 /RO4N: YesB
MAN: He**o2 5hhD #an 8e ha1e yo6 *i1eB
MR2 /RO4N: My 8hatB
MAN: Yo6 *i1e2 It's a *ageD ehhD g*an!6*a ogan in yo6 aE!o'en2
ERIC: @sniffA
MAN: Yo6 7no8D it'sD 6hD;; it's e!!ish;Eo8n2 It's sot ofD 6hhD;;
MR2 /RO4N: YeahD;; y;; y;; yeahD I 7no8 8hat it isD E6t222 I'' 6sing itD eh2
ERIC: Co'e onD si2
MR2 /RO4N: HeyH HeyH Sto"H
ERIC: 0on't '6#7 6s aEo6t2
MR2 /RO4N: Sto"H HeyH HeyH Sto" it2 HeyH
MAN: Ha**o2
MR2 /RO4N: Ge;; get off2
MAN: 4hat's thisD thenB M'h2
MR2 /RO4N: A *i1e !ono's #a!2
MAN: Nee! 8e say 'oeB
ERIC: NoH
MR2 /RO4N: ListenH I #an't gi1e it to yo6 no82 It saysD 'in the e1ent of !eath'2 5h2 OhH Ah2 Ah2 Eh2
MAN: No one 8ho has e1e ha! thei *i1e ta7en o6t Ey 6s has s61i1e!2
MR2 /RO4N: Agh2
ERIC: )6st *ie theeD si2 It 8on't ta7e a 'in6te2
MR2 /RO4N: @s#ea'ingA
MAN: <i" it 6"2
MR2 /RO4N: @s#ea'ingA
MRS2 /RO4N: 'Ee2 4hat's going onB
MAN: 5hD he's !onating his *i1eD 'a!a'2
MR2 /RO4N: @s#ea'ingA
MRS2 /RO4N: Is this Ee#a6se he too7 o6t one of those si**y #a!sB
MAN: That's ightD 'a!a'2
MR2 /RO4N: @s#ea'ingA
MRS2 /RO4N: Ty"i#a* of hi'H
MR2 /RO4N: @s#ea'ingA
MRS2 /RO4N: He goes !o8n to the "6E*i# *iEayD he sees a fe8 signs 6"D #o'es ho'e a** f6** of goo! intentions2
MR2 /RO4N: @s#ea'ingA
MRS2 /RO4N: He gi1es E*oo!2 He !oes #o*! esea#h2 A** that sot of thing2
MAN: Oh2
MR2 /RO4N: @s#ea'ingA
ERIC: Ehh2
MRS2 /RO4N: 4hat !o yo6D 6hD;; 8hat !o yo6 !o 8ith the' a**D any8ayB
ERIC: They a** go to sa1ing *i1esD 'a!a'2
MRS2 /RO4N: M''2 That's 8hat he 6se! to say2 'It's a** fo the goo! of the #o6nty' he 6se! to say2
MR2 /RO4N: @s#ea'ingA
MRS2 /RO4N: 0o yo6 thin7 it's a** fo the goo! of the #o6ntyB
MR2 /RO4N: @s#ea'ingA
MAN: H'B
MRS2 /RO4N: 0o yo6 thin7 it's a** fo the goo! of the #o6ntyB
MAN: 4e**D I 8o6*!n't 7no8 aEo6t thatD 'a!a'2 4e'e C6stD 6hD !oing o6 CoEsD yo6 7no82
MR2 /RO4N: @s#ea'ingA
MRS2 /RO4N: Yo6'e not222 !o#tosD thenB
MR2 /RO4N: @s#ea'ingA
MAN: Oh2 /*i'ey no2
MR2 /RO4N: @s#ea'ingA
MAN an! ERIC: @*a6ghingA
YO5NG MAN: M6'2 0a!2 I'' off o6t no82 I'** see yo6 aEo6t se1en2
MAN an! ERIC: @*a6ghingA
MRS2 /RO4N: Right;oD son2 Loo7 afte yo6se*f2
MR2 /RO4N: @s#ea'ingA
MAN: Oh2 No82
ERIC: M;h''2
MR2 /RO4N: @s#ea'ingA
MRS2 /RO4N: 0o yo6D 6'D222
ERIC: @'6'E*eA
MAN: Cay on2
MRS2 /RO4N: 222fan#y a #6" of teaB
MR2 /RO4N: @s#ea'ingA
MAN: OhD 8e**D that 8o6*! Ee 1ey ni#e2
MRS2 /RO4N: Oh2
MAN: Than7 yo62
MR2 /RO4N: @s#ea'ingA
MAN: Than7 yo6 1ey '6#hD 'a!a'2
MR2 /RO4N: @s#ea'ingA
MAN: Than7 yo62
MR2 /RO4N: @s#ea'ingA
MAN: OhD ehD;; I tho6ght she'! ne1e as72
ERIC: Yo6 7no8 it2
MR2 /RO4N: @s#ea'ingA
MAN: 5hhD yo6 !o ea*iseD 6hD he has to EeD 6hD222 8e**D !ea!D222 Ey the te's of the #a!D 6hD Eefoe he !onates his *i1e2
MRS2 /RO4N: 4e**D I to*! hi' thatD E6t he ne1e *istens to 'e2 Si**y 'anH
MR2 /RO4N: @s#ea'ingA
MAN: On*y I 8as 8on!eingD ehhD222 8e**D yo6 7no8D 8hat yo6 8as thin7ing of !oing afte that2 I 'eanD @sniffA 8i** yo6 stay on yo6 o8nD222 o is
theeD 6hD222 8e**D so'eone e*seD sot ofD 6hD222 on the hoiJonB
MRS2 /RO4N: I'' too o*! fo that sot of thing2 I'' "ast 'y "i'e2
MAN: Not at a**2 Yo6'e a 1ey atta#ti1e 8o'an2
MRS2 /RO4N: 4e**D I'' #etain*y not thin7ing of getting hit#he! 6" again2
MAN: S6eB
MRS2 /RO4N: S6e2
@"a6seA
MAN: Can 8e ha1e yo6 *i1eD thenB
MRS2 /RO4N: Oh2 NoD I'! Ee222 s#ae!2
MAN: A** ight2
@sna"A
I'** te** yo6 8hat2 Loo72 Listen to this2
@'6si#A
MAN IN PIN9:
4hene1e *ife gets yo6 !o8nD Ms2 /o8nD
An! things see' ha! o to6ghD
@#*6n7A
An! "eo"*e ae st6"i!D oEnoFio6sD o !aftD
An! yo6 fee* that yo6'1e ha! I6ite eno6ghD
@Eoo'A
@singingA
)6st e'e'Ee that yo6'e stan!ing on a "*anet that's e1o*1ing
An! e1o*1ing at nine h6n!e! 'i*es an ho6D
That's oEiting at nineteen 'i*es a se#on!D so it's e#7one!D
A s6n that is the so6#e of a** o6 "o8e2
The s6n an! yo6 an! 'e an! a** the stas that 8e #an see
Ae 'o1ing at a 'i**ion 'i*es a !ay
In an o6te s"ia* a'D at foty tho6san! 'i*es an ho6D
Of the ga*aFy 8e #a** the 'Mi*7y 4ay'2
O6 ga*aFy itse*f #ontains a h6n!e! Ei**ion stas2
It's a h6n!e! tho6san! *ight yeas si!e to si!e2
It E6*ges in the 'i!!*eD siFteen tho6san! *ight yeas thi#7D
/6t o6t Ey 6sD it's C6st thee tho6san! *ight yeas 8i!e2
4e'e thity tho6san! *ight yeas fo' ga*a#ti# #enta* "oint2
4e go 'o6n! e1ey t8o h6n!e! 'i**ion yeasD
An! o6 ga*aFy is on*y one of 'i**ions of Ei**ions
In this a'aJing an! eF"an!ing 6ni1ese2
@Eoo'A
@s*6"A
The 6ni1ese itse*f 7ee"s on eF"an!ing an! eF"an!ing
In a** of the !ie#tions it #an 8hiJJ
As fast as it #an goD at the s"ee! of *ightD yo6 7no8D
T8e*1e 'i**ion 'i*es a 'in6teD an! that's the fastest s"ee! thee is2
So e'e'EeD 8hen yo6'e fee*ing 1ey s'a** an! inse#6eD
Ho8 a'aJing*y 6n*i7e*y is yo6 EithD
An! "ay that thee's inte**igent *ife so'e8hee 6" in s"a#eD
'Ca6se thee's E6gge a** !o8n hee on Eath2
@#*6n7A
MRS2 /RO4N: @sighA Ma7es yo6 fee* soD sot ofD insignifi#antD !oesn't itB
MAN: Yeah2 Yeah2 @sniffA Can 8e ha1e yo6 *i1eD thenB
MRS2 /RO4N: Yeah2 A** ight2 Yo6 ta*7e! 'e into it2
MAN: Ei#H
@#*a"A
@'6si#A
CHAIRMAN: 2224hi#h Eings 6s on#e again to the 6gent ea*isation of C6st ho8 '6#h thee is sti** *eft to o8n2 Ite' siF on the agen!a: the 'eaning of
*ife2 No8D 6hD HayD yo6'1e ha! so'e tho6ghts on this2
HARRY: That's ight2 YeahD I'1e ha! a tea' 8o7ing on this o1e the "ast fe8 8ee7sD an!D 6hD 8hat 8e'1e #o'e 6" 8ith #an Ee e!6#e! to t8o
f6n!a'enta* #on#e"ts2 One: "eo"*e ae not 8eaing eno6gh hats2 T8o: 'atte is enegy2 In the 6ni1eseD thee ae 'any enegy fie*!s 8hi#h 8e #annot
no'a**y "e#ei1e2 So'e enegies ha1e a s"iit6a* so6#e 8hi#h a#t 6"on a "eson's so6*2 Ho8e1eD this so6* !oes not eFist aE initioD as otho!oF
Chistianity tea#hes2 It has to Ee Eo6ght into eFisten#e Ey a "o#ess of g6i!e! se*f;oEse1ation2 Ho8e1eD this is ae*y a#hie1e!D o8ing to 'an's 6niI6e
aEi*ity to Ee !ista#te! fo' s"iit6a* 'attes Ey e1ey!ay ti1ia2
@"a6seA
/ERT: 4hat 8as that aEo6t hatsD againB
HARRY: OhD 6hD "eo"*e aen't 8eaing eno6gh2
CHAIRMAN: Is this t6eB
E0M5N0: Cetain*y2 Hat sa*es ha1e in#ease!D E6t not "ai "ass6D as o6 esea#h initia**y;;
/ERT: /6t 8hen yo6 say 'eno6gh'D eno6gh fo 8hat "6"oseB
G5NTHER: Can I C6st as7D 8ith efeen#e to yo6 se#on! "ointD 8hen yo6 say so6*s !on't !e1e*o" Ee#a6se "eo"*e Ee#o'e !ista#te!D222
@6'E*eA
222has anyone noti#e! that E6i*!ing thee EefoeB
RAN0OM: Ohh2
RAN0OM: My Go!H
CHAIRMAN: Goo! Lo!H
@#ashA
@eF#iting '6si#A
@#ashA
E3ERYONE: @'6'E*ingA
@#ashA
CRIMSON PERMANENT ASS5RANCE PIRATE: AaaaahH
@#ashA
CHAIRMAN: Goo! Lo!H The Ci'son Pe'anent Ass6an#eH
PRO)ECTIONIST: 4e inte6"t this fi*' to a"o*ogise fo this 6n8aante! atta#7 Ey the s6""oting feat6e2 L6#7i*yD 8e ha1e Eeen "e"ae! fo this
e1ent6a*ityD an! ae no8 ta7ing ste"s to e'e!y it2
@#ea7A
@Eoo'A
Than7 yo62
Pat 3I: The A6t6'n Yeas
ANNO5NCER: The Meaning of Life: Pat SiF: The A6t6'n Yeas2
@"iano '6si#A
NO=L CO4AR0: Goo! e1eningD *a!ies an! gent*e'en2 Hee's a *itt*e n6'Ee I tosse! off e#ent*y in the CaiEEean2 @singingA
Isn't it a8f6**y ni#e to ha1e a "enisB
Isn't it fightf6**y goo! to ha1e a !ongB
It's s8e** to ha1e a stiffy2
It's !i1ine to o8n a !i#7D
Fo' the tiniest *itt*e ta!ge
To the 8o*!'s Eiggest "i#72
SoD thee #hees fo yo6 4i**y o )ohn Tho'as2
Hooay fo yo6 one;eye! to6se sna7eD
Yo6 "ie#e of "o7D yo6 8ife's Eest fien!D
Yo6 Pe#yD o yo6 #o#72
Yo6 #an 8a" it 6" in iEEons2
Yo6 #an s*i" it in yo6 so#7D
/6t !on't ta7e it o6t in "6E*i#D
O they 8i** sti#7 yo6 in the !o#7D
An! yo6 8on't #o'e Ea#72
OhD than7 yo6 1ey '6#h2
RAN0OM: /ea6tif6*H
@a""*a6seA
MA?: OhD 8hat a fightf6**y 8itty song2
MA?'S 4IFE: TeiE*y #*e1e2
G5EST %&: )o**y goo!2
G5EST %&'S 4IFE: Ma1e**o6s2
@s6s"ensef6* '6si#A
FISH %-: OhD shitH It's M2 Ceosote2
MA>TRE 0: AhD goo! aftenoonD siD an! ho8 ae 8e to!ayB
MR2 CREOSOTE: /ette2
MA>TRE 0: /etteB
MR2 CREOSOTE: /ette get a E6#7et2 I'' going to tho8 6"2
MA>TRE 0: 5hD GastonH A E6#7et fo 'onsie62 Thee yo6 aeD 'onsie62
@gooshA
Me#iD Gaston2
MR2 CREOSOTE: I ha1en't finishe!2
MA>TRE 0: OhH Pa!on2 GastonH A tho6san! "a!onsD 'onsie62
MR2 CREOSOTE: 5hh2
@gooshA
MA>TRE 0: No8D Jis aftenoonD 8e ha1e 'onsie6's fa1o6ite: Je C6gge! hae2 <e hae is 1ey highD an! Je sa6#e is 1ey i#h 8ith t6ff*esD an#ho1iesD
Gan! ManieD Ea#onD an! #ea'2 Than7 yo6D Gaston2
MR2 CREOSOTE: Thee's sti** 'oe2
MA>TRE 0: OhH A**o8 'e2 A ne8 E6#7et fo 'onsie6D222
@gooshA
222an! Je #*eaning 8o'anD222 an! 'aintenant2 4o6*! 'onsie6 #ae fo an a"KitifD o 8o6*! he "efe to o!e staight a8ayB
@gooshA
MR2 CREOSOTE: Oh2
MA>TRE 0: 5hD to!ay 8e ha1eD 6hD fo a""etiJes: EF#6se 'e2 Mh''2 5hD 'o6*es 'ainiLesD "MtK !e foie gasD Ee*6ga #a1iaD eggs /ene!i#tineD tat
!e "oiea6F;; that's *ee7 tatD;; fogs' *egs a'an!ineD o oe6fs !e #ai**e Ri#ha! She"he!;; #'est N !ieD *itt*e I6ai*s' eggs on a Ee! of "6Ke! '6shoo'2
It's 1ey !e*i#ate2 3ey s6Et*e2
MR2 CREOSOTE: I'** ha1e the *ot2
MA>TRE 0: A 8ise #hoi#eD 'onsie62 An! no8D ho8 8o6*! yo6 *i7e it se1e!B A**D 6hD 'iFe! 6" togeJe in a E6#7etB
MR2 CREOSOTE: YeahD222 8ith the eggs on to"2
MA>TRE 0: /6t of #o6seD a1e# *es oe6fs fites2
MR2 CREOSOTE: YeahD an! !on't s7i'" on the "MtK2
MA>TRE 0: OhD 'onsie6D I ass6e yo6D C6st Ee#a6se it is 'iFe! 6" 8is a** Je othe thingsD 8e 8o6*! not !ea' of gi1ing yo6 *ess than Je f6** a'o6nt2
In fa#tD I 8i** "esona**y 'a7e s6e yo6 ha1e a !o6E*e he*"ing2 Maintenant I6e*I6e #hose N Eoie2 So'ething to !in7D 'onsie6B
MR2 CREOSOTE: YeahD I'** ha1e siF Eott*es of ChMtea6 Lato6 Foty;fi1e222
MA>TRE 0: Foty;fi1e2
MR2 CREOSOTE: 222an! a !o6E*e )eoEoa' of #ha'"agne2
MA>TRE 0: /onD an! the 6s6a* Eo8n a*esB
MR2 CREOSOTE: Yeah2 NoD 8ait a 'in6te2 I thin7 I #an on*y 'anage siF #ates to!ay2
MA>TRE 0: @t6t t6t t6t t6tA I ho"e 'onsie6 8as not o1e!oing it *ast night2
MR2 CREOSOTE: Sh6t 6"H
MA>TRE 0: 0'a##o!2 AhH <e ne8 E6#7et an! Je #*eaning 8o'an2
@goosh goosh goosh gooshA
Monsie6D is thee so'ething 8ong 8ith the foo!B
G5EST %,: NoD the foo! 8as eF#e**ent2
MA>TRE 0: Peha"s yo6'e not222 ha""y 8ith the se1i#eB
G5EST %,: NoD no2 No #o'"*aints2
G5EST %,'S 4IFE: It's C6st that 8e ha1e to go2 I'' ha1ing athe a hea1y "eio!2
G5EST %+: H''2
G5EST %+'S 4IFE: M' ''2
G5EST %,: An!222 8e222 ha1e222 a222 tain to #at#h2
MA>TRE 0: Ah2
G5EST %,'S 4IFE: Oh2 Yes2 YesD of #o6se2 4e ha1e a tain to #at#hD an! I !on't 8ant to stat E*ee!ing a** o1e the seats2 HaD h' h' h'2
MA>TRE 0: Ma!a'B
G5EST %,: Peha"s 8e sho6*! Ee going2
G5EST %,'S 4IFE: Oh2
MA>TRE 0: OhH 3ey 8e**D 'onsie62 Than7 yo6 so '6#h2 So ni#e to see yo6D an! I ho"e 1ey '6#h 8e 8i** see yo6 again 1ey soon2 A6 e1oiD
'onsie62
@#*6n7A
OhD !ea2 I ha1e to!!en in 'onsie6's E6#7et2
G5ESTS: @'6'E*ingA
@s*6"A
MA>TRE 0: Anothe E6#7et fo 'onsie6D222
@gooshA
222an! "eha"s a hose2 M;h'2
MA?: @et#hA
MA?'S 4IFE: OhD MaF2 Rea**yH
G5EST %(: @hi##6"A
MR2 CREOSOTE: @goaningA
MA>TRE 0: An! fina**yD 'onsie6D a 8afe;thin 'int2
MR2 CREOSOTE: Nah2
MA>TRE 0: OhD siD it's on*y a tinyD *itt*eD thin one2
MR2 CREOSOTE: No2 F6#7 off2 I'' f6**2
MA>TRE 0: OhD si2 H''B
MR2 CREOSOTE: @goanA
MA>TRE 0: It's on*y 8afe thin2
MR2 CREOSOTE: Loo72 I #o6*!n't eat anothe thing2 I'' aEso*6te*y st6ffe!2 /6gge off2
MA>TRE 0: OhD siD C6st;; C6st one2
MR2 CREOSOTE: @goaningA A** ight2 )6st one2
MA>TRE 0: )6st the oneD 'onsie62 3oi*N2
MR2 CREOSOTE: @goaningA
MA>TRE 0: /on a""Ktit2
MR2 CREOSOTE: @goaningA
@s6s"ensef6* '6si#A
@'6si# sto"sA
@#ashA
@/OOMA
@gooshA
@gooshA
@'ayhe'A
MA>TRE 0: Than7 yo6D siD an! no8D hee's Je #he#72
Pat 3I /: The Meaning of Life
ANNO5NCER: The Meaning of Life: Pat SiF /: The Meaning of Life2
MA>TRE 0: M;h';h''2 Yo6 7no8D MaiaD I so'eti'es 8on!e if 8e'** e1e !is#o1e the 'eaning of it a** 8o7ing in a "*a#e *i7e this2
MARIA: OhD I'1e 8o7e! in 8ose "*a#esD "hi*oso"hi#a**y s"ea7ing2
MA>TRE 0: Rea**yD MaiaB
MARIA: Yes2 I 6se! to 8o7 in the A#a!K'ie FanGaiseD E6t it !i!n't !o 'e any goo! at a**D
A;; an! I on#e 8o7e! in the *iEay in the Pa!o in Ma!i!D E6t it !i!n't tea#h 'e nothingD I e#a**D
An! the LiEay of Congess yo6'! ha1e tho6ght 8o6*! ho*! so'e 7eyD
/6t it !i!n'tD an! neithe !i! the /o!*eian LiEay2
In the /itish M6se6' I ho"e! to fin! so'e #*6e2
I 8o7e! thee fo' nine ti** siFD ea! e1ey 1o*6'e tho6ghD
/6t it !i!n't tea#h 'e nothing aEo6t *ife's 'ystey2
I C6st 7e"t getting o*!eD an! it got 'oe !iffi#6*t to seeD
Ti**D e1ent6a**yD 'e eyes 8ent an! 'e athitis got Ea!D
An! so no8 I'' #*eaning 6" in heeD E6t I #an't Ee ea**y sa!D
'Ca6seD yo6 seeD I fee* that *ife's a ga'e2 Yo6 so'eti'es 8in o *oseD
An! tho6gh I 'ay Ee !o8n ight no8D at *east I !on't 8o7 fo )e8s2
MA>TRE 0: @#ho7ingA
@#*6n7A
I'' so soy2 I;; I ha! no i!ea 8e ha! a;; a a#ist 8o7ing hee2 I;; I;; I;; I a"o*ogise 'ost sin#ee*y2 I 'eanD 8e**D 8;; 4;; 8hee ae yo6 goingB 9no8
8hatB I #an eF"*ainD 6hD;; EhhD I6e* !o''age2
GASTON: As fo 'eD h6hD if yo6 8ant to 7no8 8hat I thin7D @sniffA I'** sho8 yo6 so'ething2 Co'e 8ith 'e2
MA>TRE 0: AhH I 8as saying that;; 5hD a**oB
GASTON: Co'e on2
MA>TRE 0: AhD a**oB A**oB
GASTON: This 8ay2 Co'e on2 0on't Ee shy2 Min! the staisD a** ightB I thin7 this 8i** he*" eF"*ain2 Co'e a*ong2 Co'e a*ong2 O1e hee2 Co'e on2
Co'e on2
@s#eeee#hA
@Eeeeeee"A
This 8ay2
@Eeeee"A
@hon7A
@s#eee#hA
Co'e on2 This 8ay2 Stay Ey 'eD 6hB
@'6si#A
Nea*y theeD no82 Yo6 see thatB That's 8hee I 8as Eon2 Yo6 7no8D one !ayD 'y;; 'y 'otheD she "6t 'e on he 7nee an! she sai! to 'eD 'GastonD
'y sonD the 8o*! is a Eea6tif6* "*a#e2 Yo6 '6st go into it an!222 *o1e e1eyoneD ty to 'a7e e1eyone ha""yD an! Eing "ea#e an! #ontent'ent
e1ey8hee yo6 goD' an! soD I Ee#a'e a 8aite2 4e**D it's;; it's not '6#h of a "hi*oso"hyD I 7no8D222 E6tD 8e**D222 f6#7 yo62 I #an *i1e 'y o8n *ife in 'y
o8n 8ay if I 8ant to2 F6#7 off2
3OICE: @#o6gh #o6ghA
GASTON: 0on't #o'e fo**o8ing 'eH
Pat 3II: 0eath
@!ongA
ANNO5NCER: The Meaning of Life: Pat Se1en: 0eath2
@seag6**sA
@o#ean so6n!sA
@s6s"ensef6* '6si#A
NARRATOR %(: This 'an is aEo6t to !ie2 In a fe8 'o'entsD no8D he 8i** Ee 7i**e!D fo Ath6 )aett is a #on1i#te! #i'ina* 8ho has Eeen a**o8e! to
#hoose the 'anne of his o8n eFe#6tion2
NA9E0 GIRL %&: Thee2
NA9E0 GIRL %(: Thee he isH
NA9E0 GIRLS: @"antingA
@eF#iting '6si#A
GO3ERNOR: Ath6 Cha*es HeEet R6n#ie Ma#A!a' )aettD yo6 ha1e Eeen #on1i#te! Ey t8e*1e goo! "esons an! t6e222 of the #i'e of fist !egee
'a7ing of gat6ito6sD seFist Co7es in a 'o1ing "i#t6e2
@hea1en*y '6si#A
NA9E0 GIRLS: @"antingA
ARTH5R )ARRETT: AaaaaaagghH
@8h6'"A
PA0RE: Ashes to ashesD !6st to !6st2
LEAF %&: @soEEingA
@Ea7 Ea7 Ea7A
@Ea7 Ea7 Ea7 Ea7A
@Ea7 Ea7A
It's no goo!2 I;; I;; I;; I C6st #an't go on2 I;; @soEA I'' no goo! any 'oe2 @sniffA
LEAF %(: No2
LEAF %&: @soEA I;; I;; I 8ant to en! it a**2 @soEEingA Goo!;EyeH Goo!;EyeH
@sna"A
AaaaaaagggghhH
@8h6'"A
LEAF %(: @gas"A OhD 'y Go!H @gas"A OhD noH I #;; @gas"A 4hat'** I !oB I;; I #an't *i1e 8itho6t hi'2 I;; I;; I;; @gas"A
@sna"A
AaaaaagghH
@8h6'"A
LEAF %+: M6''yB
LEAF %,: M6'D 8hee ae yo6B
LEAF %+: M6'B 0a!!yB
LEAF %,: @gas"A
LEAF %+: M6'';; '6''yB
LEAF %,: @gas"A M6''yB 4hat ae yo6 !oingB
LEAF %+: @gas" gas"A
LEAF %,: 0on't "6sh2
@sna"A
LEAF %+: @gas"A AaaaaaggghhH
LEAF %,: AaaaaaggghhH AaaaggghhH
@8h6'"A
@8h6'"A
REMAINING LEA3ES: OhH AaghH
@8h6'"A
@Eeathing so6n!A
@Ea7 Ea7 Ea7 Ea7 Ea7 Ea7A
@Ea7 Ea7 Ea7A
@Ea7 Ea7 Ea7 Ea7A
@Ea7 Ea7 Ea7A
@!ong !ongA
@8in!A
@!ong !ong !ongA
@s#ay '6si#A
@#*6n7 #*6n7A
@#*6n7 #*6n7A
GEOFFREY: YesB
@"a6seA
Is it aEo6t the he!geB
@"a6seA
Loo72 I a' a8f6**y soyD E6t;;
GRIM REAPER: I a' the Gi' Rea"e2
GEOFFREY: 4hoB
GRIM REAPER: The Gi' Rea"e2
GEOFFREY: YesD I see2
GRIM REAPER: I a' !eath2
GEOFFREY: YesD 8e**D the thing isD 8e'1e got so'e "eo"*e fo' A'ei#a fo !inne tonightD an!;;
ANGELA: 4ho is itD !a*ingB
GEOFFREY: It's a 'M2 0eath' o so'ething2 He's #o'e aEo6t the ea"ingB I !on't thin7 8e nee! any at the 'o'ent2
ANGELA: He**o2 4e**D !on't *ea1e hi' hanging ao6n! o6tsi!eD !a*ing2 As7 hi' in2
GEOFFREY: 0a*ingD I !on't thin7 it's I6ite the 'o'ent2
ANGELA: 0o #o'e in2 Co'e a*ong in2 Co'e an! ha1e a !in72 0o2 Co'e on2
G5ESTS: @'6'E*ingA
ANGELA: It's one of the *itt*e 'en fo' the 1i**age2
G5ESTS: @'6'E*ingA
ANGELA: 5hD !o #o'e in2
G5ESTS: @'6'E*ingA
ANGELA: P*ease2
G5ESTS: @'6'E*ingA
ANGELA: This is Ho8a! 9atJenEeg fo' Phi*a!e*"hia222
HO4AR0 9AT<EN/ERG: Hi2
ANGELA: 222an! his 8ifeD 0eEEieD222
0E//IE: He**o thee2
ANGELA: 222an! these ae the Pot*an!;S'ythesD )ee'y an! Fiona2
FIONA PORTLAN0;SMYTHE: Goo! e1ening2
ANGELA: This is M2 0eath2
@s"oo7y '6si#A
4e**D !o get M2 0eath a !in7D !a*ing2
GEOFFREY: 5hD yes2
HO4AR0: M''2
ANGELA: M2 0eath is a ea"e2
GRIM REAPER: The Gi' Rea"e2
ANGELA: Ha!*y s6"isingD in this 8eathe2 Ha ha ha2
E3ERYONE: @*a6ghingA
HO4AR0: SoD yo6 sti**D 6hD ea" ao6n! heeD !o yo6D M2 0eathB
GRIM REAPER: I a' the Gi' Rea"e2
GEOFFREY: That's aEo6t a** he says2
0E//IE: Heh2
GEOFFREY: Thee's yo6 !in7D M2 0eath2
ANGELA: 0o sit !o8n2
0E//IE: 4e 8ee C6st ta*7ing aEo6t so'e of the a8f6* "oE*e's fa#ing the thi;; @gas"A
@#ashA
ANGELA: Ohh2 4o6*! yo6 "efe 8hiteB I;; I'' afai! 8e !on't ha1e any Eee2
)EREMY PORTLAN0;SMYTHE: The Sti*ton's a8f6**y goo!2
GRIM REAPER: I a' not of this 8o*!2
@s"oo7y '6si#A
GEOFFREY: Goo! Lo!2
GRIM REAPER: I a' !eath2
0E//IE: 4e**D isn't that eFtao!inayB 4e 8ee C6st ta*7ing aEo6t !eath on*y fi1e 'in6tes ago2
ANGELA: YesD 8e 8ee2
HO4AR0: M''2 M'2
ANGELA: Yo6 7no8D 8hethe !eath is ea**y the en!2
0E//IE: As 'y h6sEan!D 6hD Ho8a!D heeD fee*sD o 8hethe thee is;; an! one so hates to 6se 8o!s *i7e 'so6*' o 's"iit'D E6t;;
)EREMY: /6t 8hat othe 8o!s #an one 6seB
GEOFFREY: E;; eFa#t*y2
GRIM REAPER: Yo6 !o not 6n!estan!2
0E//IE: AhD no2 OE1io6s*y not2
HO4AR0: Let 'e C6st te** yo6 so'ethingD M2 0eath2
GRIM REAPER: Yo6 !o n;;
HO4AR0: )6st one 'o'ent2 I'! *i7e to eF"essD on Eeha*f of e1eyEo!y heeD 8hat a222 ea**y 6niI6e eF"eien#e this is2
)EREMY: HeaD hea2
ANGELA: YesD 8e'e so !e*ighte!D 6hD that yo6 !o""e! inD M2 0eath2
HO4AR0: Can I C6st finishD "*easeB
0E//IE: M2 0eathD is thee an afte;*ifeB
HO4AR0: 0eaD if yo6 #o6*! C6st 8aitD "*easeD a 'o'entD;;
ANGELA: Ae yo6 s6e yo6 8o6*!n't *i7e so'e sheyB
0E//IE: @'6'E*ingA
HO4AR0: Ange*a2 Ange*aD I'! *i7e to C6st say this at this ti'eD if I #o6*!D "*ease2 Rea**y2
GRIM REAPER: /e I6ietH
HO4AR0: Can I C6st say this at this ti'eD "*easeB
GRIM REAPER: Si*en#eH I ha1e #o'e fo yo62
ANGELA: Yo6 'ean222 to;;
GRIM REAPER: Ta7e yo6 a8ay2 That is 'y "6"ose2 I a' !eath2
GEOFFREY: 4e**D that's #ast athe a g*oo' o1e the e1eningD hasn't itB
HO4AR0: I !on't see it that 8ayD Geoff2 @sniffA Let 'e te** yo6 8hat I thin7 8e'e !ea*ing 8ith hee: a "otentia**y "ositi1e *eaning eF"eien#e to get an;;
GRIM REAPER: Sh6t 6"H Sh6t 6"D yo6 A'ei#an2 Yo6 a*8ays ta*7D yo6 A'ei#ans2 Yo6 ta*7 an! yo6 ta*7 an! say '*et 'e te** yo6 so'ething' an! 'I
C6st 8anna say this'2 4e**D yo6'e !ea! no8D so sh6t 6"H
HO4AR0: 0ea!B
GRIM REAPER: 0ea!2
ANGELA: A** of 6sB
GRIM REAPER: A** of yo62
GEOFFREY: No8D *oo7 hee2 Yo6 Eage in heeD I6ite 6nin1ite!D Eea7 g*assesD an! then anno6n#eD I6ite #as6a**yD that 8e'e a** !ea!2 4e**D I 8o6*!
e'in! yo6 that yo6 ae a g6est in this ho6seD an!;;
@8ho#7A
AhH Oh2
GRIM REAPER: /e I6ietH Eng*ish'enD yo6'e a** so f6#7ing "o'"o6sD an! none of yo6 ha1e got any Ea**s2
0E//IE: Can I as7 yo6 a I6estionB
GRIM REAPER: 4hatB
0E//IE: Ho8 #an 8e a** ha1e !ie! at the sa'e ti'eB
@si*en#eA
GRIM REAPER: The sa*'on 'o6sse2
GEOFFREY: 0a*ingD yo6 !i!n't 6se #anne! sa*'onD !i! yo6B
ANGELA: I'' 'ost !ea!f6**y e'Eaasse!2
GRIM REAPER: No8 the ti'e has #o'e2 Fo**o82 Fo**o8 'e2
@#*6n7A
@Eang Eang Eang Eang EangA
GEOFFREY: )6st222 testing2 Soy2
GRIM REAPER: Fo**o8 'e2 No82
@!eath*y '6si#A
Co'e2
@eeie '6si#A
ANGELA: 4e**D the fish'onge "o'ise! 'e he'! ha1e so'e fesh sa*'onD an! he's no'a**y so e*iaE*e2
RAN0OM: St6''2 St6''2
)EREMY: Can 8e 7ee" o6 g*assesB
RAN0OM: M'' h''2
FIONA: Oh2 Goo! i!ea2 @hi##6"A
RAN0OM: Co'e on2
G5ESTS: @'6'E*ingA
HO4AR0: O7ay2
G5ESTS: @'6'E*ingA
0E//IE: HeyD I !i!n't e1en eat the 'o6sse2
G5ESTS: @'6'E*ingA
ANGELA: Honest*yD !a*ingD I'' so e'Eaasse!2 It ea**y is e'Eaassing2 I 'eanD222
HO4AR0: I s6""ose222 @'6'E*ingA
ANGELA: 222to se1e sa*'on 8ith Eot6*is' at a !inne "aty is so#ia* !eath fo 'e2
GEOFFREY: 4e**D a** ight2
G5ESTS: @'6'E*ingA
)EREMY: 5hD sha** 8e ta7e o6 #asB
FIONA: 0o 8e nee! the'B
GEOFFREY: 4hy notB
ANGELA: Yes2 4hy notB
HO4AR0: @'6'E*ingA 222is 'y 1ote2
ANGELA: Goo! i!ea2
RAN0OM: Yes2 4hy notB
G5ESTS: @'6'E*ingA
RAN0OM: Sha** 8e go se"aate*yB
@#a so6n!sA
G5ESTS: @'6'E*ingA
@s"oo7y '6si#A
GRIM REAPER: /eho*!222 Paa!ise2
@e*e1ato '6si#A
MR2 HEN0Y: I *o1e it heeD !a*ing2
MRS2 HEN0Y: Me tooD Ma1in2
RECEPTIONIST: He**o2 4e*#o'e to Hea1en2 EF#6se 'eD #o6*! yo6 C6st sign heeD "*easeD siB
)EREMY: Yes2
RECEPTIONIST: Than7 yo6H Thee's a taE*e fo yo6 tho6gh thee in the esta6ant2
)EREMY: Than7 yo62
RECEPTIONIST: Fo the *a!iesD222
FIONA: Mh'2 'Afte;*ife Mints'2 @hi##6"A
0E//IE: Than7 yo62
RECEPTIONIST: Ha""y Chist'asH
0E//IE: OhD is it Chist'as to!ayB
RECEPTIONIST: Of #o6seD 'a!a'2 It's Chist'as e1ey !ay in Hea1en2
0E//IE: Ohh2
HO4AR0: M''2
0E//IE: Ho8 aEo6t thatB
HO4AR0: He**o thee2
0E//IE: Ah2
CRO40: @'6'E*ingA
@'6si#A
Shhh2 ShhhhH Shhh222
TONY /ENNETT: Goo! e1eningD *a!ies an! gent*e'en2 It's t6*y a ea* hono6aE*e eF"eien#e to Ee hee this e1eningD a 1ey 8on!ef6* an! 8a' an!
e'otiona* 'o'ent fo a** of 6sD an! I'! *i7e to sing a song fo a**222 of yo62
@a""*a6seA
@singingA
It's Chist'as in Hea1en2
A** the #hi*!en sing2
It's Chist'as in Hea1en2
Ha72 Ha72 Those #h6#h Ee**s ing2
It's Chist'as in Hea1en2
The sno8 fa**s fo' the s7yD
/6t it's ni#e an! 8a'D an! e1eyone
Loo7s s'at an! 8eas a tie2
It's Chist'as in Hea1en2
Thee's geat fi*'s on T3:
'The So6n! of M6si#' t8i#e an ho6
An! ')a8s' OneD T8oD an! Thee2
)OSEPH AN0 MARY: @singingA
Thee's gifts fo a** the fa'i*y2
Thee's toi*eties an! tains2
THREE 4ISE MEN: @singingA
Thee's Sony 4a*7'an Hea!"hone sets
An! the *atest 1i!eo ga'es2
E3ERYONE: @singingA
It's Chist'asH It's Chist'as in Hea1enH
Hi" hi" hi" hi" hi" hooayH
E1ey sing*e !ay
Is Chist'as !ayH
It's Chist'asH It's Chist'as in Hea1enH
Hi" hi" hi" hi" hi" hooayH
E1ey sing*e !ay
Is Chi;;
The En! of the Fi*'
LA0Y PRESENTER: 4e**D that's the en! of the fi*'2 No8D hee's the 'eaning of *ife2 Than7 yo6D /igitte2 M;h''2 4e**D it's nothing 1ey s"e#ia*2 5hD
ty an! Ee ni#e to "eo"*eD a1oi! eating fatD ea! a goo! Eoo7 e1ey no8 an! thenD get so'e 8a*7ing inD an! ty an! *i1e togethe in "ea#e an! ha'ony
8ith "eo"*e of a** #ee!s an! nationsD an!D fina**yD hee ae so'e #o'"*ete*y gat6ito6s "i#t6es of "enises to annoy the #ensos an! to ho"ef6**y s"a7
so'e sot of #onto1esyD 8hi#hD it see'sD is the on*y 8ayD these !aysD to get the Ca!e!D 1i!eo;sate! "6E*i# off thei f6#7ing ases an! Ea#7 in the so!!ing
#ine'a2 Fa'i*y entetain'ent Eo**o#7s2 4hat they 8ant is fi*th: "eo"*e !oing things to ea#h othe 8ith #hainsa8s !6ing t6""e8ae "atiesD EaEysittes
Eeing staEEe! 8ith 7nitting nee!*es Ey gay "esi!entia* #an!i!atesD 1igi*ante go6"s stang*ing #hi#7ensD a'e! Ean!s of theate #iti#s eFte'inating
'6tant goats;; 4hee's the f6n in "i#t6esB OhD 8e**D thee 8e ae2 Hee's the the'e '6si#2 Goo!night2
@'6si#A
@!ongA
@'Monty Python's F*ying Ci#6s' the'eA
@8in!A
3OICE OF MAN IN PIN9: @singingA
)6st e'e'Ee that yo6'e stan!ing on a "*anet that's e1o*1ing
An! e1o*1ing at nine h6n!e! 'i*es an ho6D
That's oEiting at nineteen 'i*es a se#on!D so it's e#7one!D
A s6n that is the so6#e of a** o6 "o8e2
The s6n an! yo6 an! 'e an! a** the stas that 8e #an see
Ae 'o1ing at a 'i**ion 'i*es a !ay
In an o6te s"ia* a'D at foty tho6san! 'i*es an ho6D
Of the ga*aFy 8e #a** the 'Mi*7y 4ay'2
O6 ga*aFy itse*f #ontains a h6n!e! Ei**ion stas2
It's a h6n!e! tho6san! *ight yeas si!e to si!e2
It E6*ges in the 'i!!*eD siFteen tho6san! *ight yeas thi#7D
/6t o6t Ey 6sD it's C6st thee tho6san! *ight yeas 8i!e2
4e'e thity tho6san! *ight yeas fo' ga*a#ti# #enta* "oint2
4e go 'o6n! e1ey t8o h6n!e! 'i**ion yeasD
An! o6 ga*aFy is on*y one of 'i**ions of Ei**ions
In this a'aJing an! eF"an!ing 6ni1ese2
The 6ni1ese itse*f 7ee"s on eF"an!ing an! eF"an!ing
In a** of the !ie#tions it #an 8hiJJ
As fast as it #an goD at the s"ee! of *ightD yo6 7no8D
T8e*1e 'i**ion 'i*es a 'in6teD an! that's the fastest s"ee! thee is2
So e'e'EeD 8hen yo6'e fee*ing 1ey s'a** an! inse#6eD
Ho8 a'aJing*y 6n*i7e*y is yo6 EithD
An! "ay that thee's inte**igent *ife so'e8hee 6" in s"a#eD
'Ca6se thee's E6gge a** !o8n hee on Eath2