THE

BUSINESS WRITING
POCKETBOOK
By Clive Bonny
Drawings by Alan Roe
"Bite-size messages with a big impact."
Mel Webb, Sector Skills Development Manager
"Informative and concise: good book, good words."
Richard Wolfstrome, Director, Advanced Media Associates
"Essential for reminding us that simplicity is the key to success."
Gilly Smith, Managing Director, Juicy Guide
"Sensible suggestions for delivering straightforward messages."
Keith Stafford, Training Editor, Reuters

CONTENTS
PLANNING
Choosing channels, 4 Is, costing,
3 Rs, 5 Ws, 7 Cs, starting up

INTERNAL
CORRESPONDENCE
Memos, reports, minutes, e-mail,
desk messages, faxes

15

EXTERNAL
31
CORRESPONDENCE
Letters (layout, structure, examples,
courtesy, complaining, selling),
proposals (drafting, structure, format),
web sites
PERSONALISING
Language, style, tone, sexism,
personalities, VHF

49

PRESENTING
65
Charts, graphs and diagrams,
putting ideas on paper, mind-mapping,
handwriting
MARKETING COMMUNICATIONS
Stationery, strategy, direct mail,
advertising, press releases
AME

ND

89

CHECKING
105
Speed reading, jargon, clarity,
redundancy, grammar, clichs, spelling

INTRODUCTION

QUOTATIONS
WE ARE WHAT WE WRITE
The last thing we decide in writing a book is what to put first.
Blaire Pascal 1623-1662
The art of writing is the art of applying the seat of the pants to the seat of the
chair.
Mary Vorse 1880
There are three difficulties in authorship: to write anything worth the publishing, to
find honest men to publish it and get sensible men to read it.
Charles Cotton 1780-1832
THE 90 : 90 RULE
90% OF LASTING IMPRESSIONS ARE MADE IN THE FIRST 90 SECONDS
REMEMBER TO MAKE AN INITIAL IMPACT:
THERE IS NO SECOND CHANCE TO CREATE A FIRST IMPRESSION
4

P LANNING
5

PLANNING

COSTING
Professional services (eg: banks and solicitors) can charge you 25 - 50
for a single letter.
A stamp and stationery are less than 2% of the cost.
98% of the cost is the TIME it takes to:
G
G
G

research and plan the content

layout and compose the draft
write and check the copy

People involved can include managers, secretaries and mailroom assistants.

Overheads can include office space, filing cabinets, computers and franking
machines.
Your correspondence costs you more than you think.

10

11

12

13

PLANNING

GETTING STARTED

14

Outlining a false start is a first step

Invest time outlining a draft

Brainstorm random words and phrases

Reassemble and link

Prioritise

Rewrite

Do it before writing

I NTERNAL

CORRESPONDENCE

15

INTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE

MEMORANDA
Memos are similar to letters and similar guidelines will apply to both. The main
differences are that memos are internal within organisations and are less formal.
Less formality means memos can be shorter (ideally one page, but avoid being curt)
and even handwritten.
Example Format:

MEMORANDUM

DO
G

Put your most important points first, in

logical sequence, especially who it is for,
why you are writing and what are the
outcomes.

Use headings, lists and pictures when

possible.

16

Check it carefully afterwards for clarity.

TO:
FROM:
DATE:
SUBJECT:
MESSAGE:
SIGNED:

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19

20

21

22

23

25

INTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE

E-MAIL
POLICY ISSUES
Surveys reveal that one in three employees abuse e-mail:
G

For political gain over colleagues (with blind copies)

To avoid dealing personally with sensitive situations (when they should talk)

To create a sense of self-protection (copying everyone)

Publish guidelines on using e-mail and have a clear e-mail policy that states:

26

When employees can/cannot use the internet

That offensive materials breach discipline

What limits there are regarding private use

Any monitoring procedures and why theyre in place

Penalties for breaching policy

Procedures for revising policy

INTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE

E-MAIL
DONT WASTE TIME
If 10 people in a team each sends the other team members a weekly report for
information purposes only, then each week the team members spend a combined 900
minutes reading reports. Over a year, this amounts to more than 100 working days!
Action:
G
Screen-dump your inbox
G
Count the time wasted on unnecessary info
G
Tell the time-wasters!

27

INTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE

E-MAIL
HOW TO PRIORITISE E-MAIL
E-mail headers should state levels of importance and urgency.
Code each message with a level of importance, eg:
A = high
B = medium
C = low
Add a code for level of urgency, eg:
1 = reply within 24 hours
2 = reply within 72 hours
3 = reply unnecessary

28

INTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE

DESK MESSAGES
HOW NOT TO
Have you seen something
like this on a handwritten note?

CHRIS CALLED YOU UNAVAILABLE

IMPORTANT TO CALL BACK
AS SOON AS POSSIBLE
WHEN NEARBY
CB

What do they mean?

BREVITY DOES NOT ALWAYS MEAN CLARITY
DONT KICK OUT KEY WORDS OR FORGET PUNCTUATION
29

INTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE

ORGANISING FAXES
As with desk messages, use a pre-printed format.
Also

30

Attach the fax confirmation slip (if available)

Write in bold capitals (poor telephone lines can delete parts of words)

Show your fax number to help replies

Use coloured paper rolls to highlight incoming urgent messages

Copy thermal paper onto plain paper for archive

Avoid faxing OUT on dark coloured paper - it can take ten times longer to send

E XTERNAL

CORRESPONDENCE

31

EXTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE

LETTERS
IMAGE
Your letters represent your personal and your organisations image to the world
outside - set high standards.
Keep your image consistent: where House Rules exist, follow them by applying the
Seven Cs (page 12).

32

EXTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE

LETTERS
LAYOUT
G
G

G
G
G
G
G
G
G
G

Use letterhead stationery showing your location details. Quote your fax, phone
and extension.
Set a one inch margin. Double space between paragraphs.
Start all text on the left margin. Put Day Month Year (no punctuation)
eg: 13 May 1994 (Americans put Month Day Year).
Use their name, title (if known) and full address (always spell-check carefully).
Your Reference (for file purposes). Their Reference (from their prior letter).
Salutation eg: Dear Ms Jones (where less formal).
Dear Madam (where name is unknown).
Subject heading: CENTRED IN BLOCK CAPITALS.
Subscription or sign off: Yours sincerely (after named addressee).
Yours faithfully (after Dear Sir or Madam).
Sign it.
Writers name and title.
Enclosure reference: Encl(s).
Copies to: cc(s).
33

EXTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE

LETTERS
STRUCTURE
Always ensure that your letters follow a logical framework:

34

Beginning

refer to situation and purpose

Middle

detail facts supporting purpose

Ending

summarise situation and next actions.

EXTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE

LETTERS
BEGINNING
Avoid stilted starts
eg:
G

Your correspondence dated ..... is hereby acknowledged

We are in receipt of your letter dated .....

We hereby acknowledge

This letter is written by way of responding to yours dated .....

We are confirming your letter of

Why not simply say - Thank you for your letter dated .....

35

BUSINESS LETTER LAYOUT

cc:

SOUTHVIEW 8 STONEHILL CLOSE EAST SHEEN LONDON SW14 8RP

TELE (0181) 876-1454 FAX (0181) 878-6970

Adrian Hunt, Management Pocketbooks

Encl: The Business Writing Pocketbook

Clive W Bonny
Proprietor

Yours sincerely

The enclosed pocketbook identifies other common problems and solutions.

Finally, enclosures are often not numbered. This can lead to confusion when there are a
number of enclosures.

Another problem is the failure to state the writers purpose early. This frustrates busy
readers.

The cardinal error is to spell the addressee incorrectly, either in title, company or personal
name. This shows a lack of care.

Thank you for your fax about the standardised layout of letters. This is to confirm
some common mistakes by writers.

Dear Mr Dickens

Your Reference: CWB/WP123

Mr C Dickens
Bleak House
London WC1

1 September 2008

EXTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE

LETTERS
GIVING BAD NEWS
G

Courtesy is crucial - consider their feelings.

Avoid starting with no, judging or blaming.

When refusing, be clear and say why.

Help them with alternatives where possible.

End on a co-operative or sympathetic note.

37

JOB APPLICATION

SOUTHVIEW 8 STONEHILL CLOSE EAST SHEEN LONDON SW14 8RP

TELE (0181) 876-1454 FAX (0181) 878-6970

Clive W Bonny
Proprietor

Yours sincerely

Regrettably, therefore, we are unable to offer you a position. However, we will keep
your details on file for future reference. Thank you for your interest in our company.

We are intending to increase our staff numbers in the future, although not right now.

Thank you for your letter dated 25 August and your enclosed C.V. Your
qualifications are impressive.

Dear Mrs Jones

Mrs R Jones
East Street
Twickenham
Middlesex

1 September 2008

EXTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE

LETTERS
COMPLAINTS
G

Be F-I-N-E when making

complaints:

Facts:

be specific and factual

about who, what, why,
when, where

Implication:

describe the effects of

the problem

Needs:

say what outcome you

want

End:

politely and positively

When handling complaints

show CUSTOMER concern

Concern for clients

Urgency
Specific facts
Timetabled actions
Options to resolve
Mailed confirmation
Empathy for them
Respect

39

CAR SERVICE REG NO. ABC 123D 30 AUGUST

SOUTHVIEW 8 STONEHILL CLOSE EAST SHEEN LONDON SW14 8RP

TELE (0181) 876-1454 FAX (0181) 878-6970

Mrs V Annoyed
Senior Accountant

Yours sincerely

Thank you for other work in servicing the car which was of your usual high standard.

Can you please fit a new wiper blade when I visit you on Tuesday 6 September? I would
expect this free of charge because of the inconvenience. Please phone me on Monday 5
September, 9 - 11am if this is not possible.

As I need to reverse into a main road from my driveway, this could result in a major
accident.

I am writing to complain about the condition of my company car following its service. The
rear wiper blade was missing.

Dear Mr Gasket

For the urgent attention of

Mr Gasket
Service Manager
Crankshaft Garage
Piston Lane
East Sheen, London SW14

1 September 2008

EXTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE

LETTERS
INFLUENCING TO WIN A SALES APPOINTMENT
The strategy is to get A I D A to C I Am in Need
Attention

focus on you the reader

Circumstances

Interest

identifying with the readers

Issues

Desire

stimulating readers wants

Amount to

Action

by whom and by when

Need

41

COMPANY EXPANSION WITH NEW PRODUCTS

SOUTHVIEW 8 STONEHILL CLOSE EAST SHEEN LONDON SW14 8RP

TELE (0181) 876-1454 FAX (0181) 878-6970

Clive W Bonny
Proprietor

Yours sincerely

I will call you on Monday to discuss further.

Can we meet on Thursday 8 September, 8.30 a.m. at your office? Alternatively,

should this be inconvenient, I could rearrange a more suitable time through your personal
assistant.

Other companies like your own have found my information has helped them achieve their
strategic goals and increase market share. Bill Smith of AB & Co suggested I contacted
you directly. I am not sure at this stage how helpful I can be to you and a brief meeting
would establish this quickly.

I believe that you can achieve this earlier than forecast, and I would like to meet you to
show how this may be accomplished.

Your press release in The Times last week caught my eye. You announced that your new
products will catapult you into market leadership within 2 years.

Dear Mrs Brown

Mrs S Brown
NewPro Limited
The Innovation Centre
Bracknell
Berkshire

1 September 2008

EXTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE

LETTERS TO CUSTOMERS
EXERCISE
Check your policy and procedures:
G

How quickly should I reply? Is this achieved? When I cannot answer queries
quickly am I sending interim acknowledgements?

How tidy and up to date are my customer correspondence files?

How do I check the impression my letter makes?

Who handles correspondence in my absence?

43

EXTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE

PROPOSALS
DRAFTING
G
G
G
G
G

Submit a DRAFT first to check what your reader wants.

Test the draft with your inside supporter.
If competing with others, submit your draft LAST - then ask how it
compares with others.
Submit it IN PERSON to verify acceptability.
Give COST OPTIONS, breaking costs down into smaller terms,
eg: cost per day NOT per year
cost per item NOT per shipment.

COVERING LETTERS
G
G
G
G

44

Personalise for each recipient

Thank them for any help given
Put a deadline on any quotation
Confirm next action (NOT we await your reply)

EXTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE

PROPOSALS
STRUCTURE
1. Covering Letter, outlining benefits.
2. Management Summary, key points proposed.
3. Client Aims and Objectives, company-wide and departmental.
4. Current Methods and Costs, identifying their concerns.
5. Requirements: New conditions, Needs and Priorities.
6. Proposed Improvements and implications.
7. Implementation Plan, with simple steps: how, who, when, where.
8. Suppliers Unique Benefits, as wanted by the client.
9. Cost-benefits and return on Investment, counterbalancing costs.
10. Appendices, detailing supporting information.

45

EXTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE

PROPOSALS
FORMAT
SAY YOU
USE HEADINGS
CREATE WHITE SPACE
SHORTEN PARAGRAPHS
DOUBLE SPACE LINES
INSERT GRAPHICS
PUT CAPTIONS ON GRAPHICS
EMPHASISE WITH UNDERLINING, ITALICS, BOLDFACE

46

EXTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE

MAKE YOUR WEB SITE WORK

G

Make it interactive and easy to navigate

Integrate messages with appealing visuals

Encourage reader response

Monitor effectiveness

Show case studies of your offer (visit www.consult-smp.com for examples)

Use colours to create emotive effects:

- red or yellow to excite
- blue or green to calm

47

EXTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE

MAKE YOUR WEB SITE WORK

PUBLISH CASE STUDIES OF SUCCESS
A good case study describes:

48

How you helped improve a situation

Why change was required

Who was involved

How quickly improvements occurred

What specific benefits arose

Why you were chosen to help

P ERSONALISING
49

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P RESENTING
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PRESENTING

MIND MAPPING
EXERCISE
Now practise by drawing a mind map about yourself.
Alternatively, download free of charge mind map software from www.mindjet.de

85

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88

M ARKETING
C O M M U N I C AT I O N S
89

90

MARKETING COMMUNICATIONS

STATIONERY
BUSINESS STATIONERY can promote our services with the help of:
G

a LOGO - people remember pictures (frank your envelopes with a logo)

a MOTTO - people remember rhymes

a SLOGAN - people remember catchphrases

a BUSINESS NAME describing your offer

Use quality paper with fold markers.

Have business cards which stand out.

91

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99

100

MARKETING COMMUNICATIONS

PRESS RELEASES
DONT:
G

Start sentences with numbers

Use italics, upper case, very large or small type faces

Underline or abbreviate

Be humorous!

Example: How NOT to start:

I would like to invite you to immerse yourself in the world of
the herpes simplex virus.
(from Private Eye)

101

12 November 2008

103

MARKETING COMMUNICATIONS

USING THE INTERNET

DO:
G

Be courteous - netiquette

Respect intellectual property

Consider cultural differences

DONT:

104

Share your password

Copy everyone

Violate libel law

AME

ND

C HECKING
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(see page 126)

ND

CHECKING

SIGN MISTAKES
Notice in health food
shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

AME

In a department store:

BARGAIN
BASEMENT
UPSTAIRS

Spotted in a safari park:

ELEPHANTS
PLEASE STAY
IN YOUR CAR

ND

In a laundromat:
AUTOMATIC
WASHING MACHINES
PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR
CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT
GOES OUT

In an office:
In an office WC:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO
TOOK THE STEP LADDER
YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING
IT BACK OR FURTHER
STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

TOILET OUT
OF ORDER PLEASE USE
FLOOR BELOW
125

AME

126

ND

About the Author

Clive Bonny
Clives career began in voluntary service overseas, progressing into accounts,
marketing, customer service and sales management with British, German and
American employers. As a General Manager he improved net profits from 6.8% to
18.2% whilst increasing the customer base tenfold within two years. He has been
owner-manager of Strategic Management Partners since 1989, providing interim
management support and advising organisations on best practice across diverse supply
chains. Clive is professionally qualified as a management consultant, and is a trained assessor
using the Business Excellence Model for human resource development, corporate responsibility,
innovation and alliance partnering. He is a Fellow of the Royal Society of Arts, Manufactures and
Commerce and projects have taken him to Africa, Middle East, Asia and across Europe. Outside work,
he enjoys inline roller-blading and orienteering.

Contact
Clive can be contacted at Strategic Management Partners www.consult-smp.com
[email protected] Tel: + 44 0 79 73 79 91 53
Success Breeds Success when Values Sustain Value
Clive W. Bonny 1994
This edition published in 1994 by Management Pocketbooks Ltd.
Laurel House, Station Approach, Alresford, Hants SO24 9JH, U.K.
9th printing 2008. Printed in UK.

ISBN 978 1 870471 22 0

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