About the Presenter

Marilyn Manning, Ph.D., founder of Manning Management Consultants, works with

organizations to solve difficult people problems and facilitates strategic planning and team
processes. She consults, gives speeches and workshops, and mediates conflict. She is a
guest lecturer at the University of Chicago Graduate School of Business. Dr. Manning is one
of only 14 speakers internationally who hold both the Certified Management Consultant
(CMC) and Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) designations.
Dr. Mannings books include: The One-Stop Guide to Workshops (with a section on handling
difficult situations and behaviors), Leadership Skills, Office Management, the Office Professional and Professional Excellence for Secretaries. This year she is featured in three of
the best selling Chicken Soup for the Soul books. To get free copies of her articles such as Meetings, Bloody Meetings, Temper Those Tantrums, Teamwork - visit her website at
www.MManning.com
Areas of Expertise:
Change Management
Strategic Planning
Building Better Teams
Managing Conflict and Difficult Behaviors

Leadership
Customer Service
Communication
Facilitation and Meeting Management

Partial Client List:

Hewlett-Packard
Security Pacific National Bank
National Semiconductor
General Dynamics
Oracle
Unocal 76
Stanford University & Hospital
University of Chicago - Graduate School of Business
University of California - Berkeley
Association of Sales & Marketing Executives
VISA Inc.
Eli Lilly & Company

American Standard
Catholic Health Care West
Compaq Computers
General Electric
AT&T
Malaysian Government
Apple Computer
Symantec
City of San Jose, CA
Lucent Technologies
U.S. Dept. of the Interior - U.S.G.S.
General Motors

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

Style Diversity

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

Sending Communication

Sender

Filter

style
experience
values
knowledge
assumptions
customs
beliefs
expectations

Filter

Receiver
Result/Action

The rock is not disturbed by the wind, the mind of a wise man is not disturbed
by either honor or abuse.
Buddha

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]
(wbtopics/commun/send.commun)

D-I-S-C Behavioral Tendencies

High D: Driving Controller
High ego strength
Results, bottom-line approach
Motivated by directness & challenges
Basic fears: being taken advantage of, boredom, failure
Tends to be insensitive of others views and feelings
Whats the bottom line? Watch out-Here I come.
Can you get to the point?
Approach: No small talk, dont waste time.
High I: Influencing Promoter
Optimistic visionary
Social, charismatic, friendly
Motivated by recognition and approval
Basic fears: social rejection, inadequacy, boredom
Tends to be disorganized, impulsive, aggressive
Wow, do I have a deal for you. Whats up...
Approach: Be personable, listen well, keep on track.
High S: Stable Supporter
Pragmatic, loyal team player
Concrete action-oriented
Motivated by tradition, order, and relationships
Basic fears: loss of stability, rejection, conflict
Tends to be possessive and overly-yielding
How can I help you? We can smooth this over.
Approach: Be friendly, emphasize team, draw them out.
High C: Conventional Analyzer
Accurate, precise, and systematic
Intuitive and sensitive
Motivated by the proper way
Basic fears: criticism error, confrontation
Tends to be overcritical of self and others
Do it right or dont do it at all.
Approach: Offer facts and written follow-up, no small talk.
Used with Permission from Inscape Publishing
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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

DISC Group Activity

Write your individual responses; then, in your group, discuss commonalities and record your responses on
flip chart paper.

1.

Help us understand how to work more effectively with you. Make a list of specific
things we can do or should keep in mind in order to create more rapport with you.
Label the list "ALWAYS:" (eg: always give me time to prepare ahead)

2.

What are specific behaviors/actions that we should avoid when dealing with you.
Label this list "NEVER:" (eg: never force me to make a major decision on the spot)

3.

What is most effective about your style? What are your greatest strengths?
(eg: I question the depth and thoroughness of reports)

4.

What behavior or secondary style(s) might enhance your effectiveness? Why?

(eg: the influencing style would help me see the big picture)

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

DISC and Stress

When do Ds feel stressed?

Fail to get their point/s across or ideas ignored.

Too many rules, structure, and formality.
Too much socializing & verbalizing; not getting to the point.
Too many details and too much paperwork.
Cant be in control; are told what and how to do it.
Any attempt is made to force them into conforming.

When do Is feel stressed ?

No time for socializing.

Schedules are too tight.
No personal appreciation and credit for work.
Too many details or routine tasks.
Others moving at a slower pace.
When working alone for long periods.

When do Ss feel stressed?

Pace is too fast and direction unclear.

Work interferes with personal life; too much overtime.
Not appreciated and taken for granted.
No time to be thorough or analytical.
Data and people not consistent.

When do Cs feel stressed?

Lack of structure; rules not followed.

Too much personal interaction; group activities.
Tardiness of people.
Not given the details or clear instructions.
There is change over which they have no control; it seems illogical.
Involved in highly emotional conflicts.

Activity:
In your team, discuss the stressors. Make a request of the large group for something from others that can help lower your work stress. Give examples of what
works and what is frustrating.
Cite ways you can lower your own stress.

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
email: [email protected] / website: www.MManning.com

Patron Role Plays : Libraries

Write a constructive script, using the model, for one of the following.
1.

Hurry up patron I influencing:

I have a critical need for an 8:00 a.m. speaker from the library.

2.

Patron C conscientious at the counter or on phone:

This is the third time Ive brought my request to your attention in the last 4 days.

3.

Inter-department conflict with S supportive who cant say no.

The work you promised us was late three days this is the second month in a row.

4.

Demanding Dave D/C dominant perfectionist:

I turned this request into you this morning at 9:00 sharp and no one has called back. We
have to have the information. Its 2 pm. Where the ____ are you?

5.

Impatient Ike I influencing:

The system is down. You told me the system would be up. It is still down.

6.

Unreasonable expectation by S steadiness patron:

Asking to be helped when they may not qualify for that particular service and the
situation must be defused in a quiet manner or some other option must be explored for that
individual.

7.

Accommodating Anna, I/S influencing steady:

Ill try to finish your urgent report, but three other supervisors need things by noon, and I said
Id cover for Jill because she had to go to the doctor. Ive got to take this phone call ...........

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

Ten Principles of Good Library Service

1. Express interest and concern for patrons.

2. Provide timely responses to requests.
3. Provide assistance without being asked.
4. Express sincere appreciation to the patron.
5. Provide flexible, personalized treatment whenever possible.
6. Handle difficult situations in a positive assertive way.
7. Educate the patron.
8. Develop patron-friendly policies and procedures.
9. Practice effective communication skills with patrons and fellow employees.
10. Treat fellow employees with care, patience, and respect.

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

THE MAP GAME

The Map Game is an open interactive competitive game for two teams of three players and a Recorder at
each table. It plays best with three to ten tables. The game highlights issues of competition, cooperation,
process vs. content, and inclusion vs. exclusion.
Real life is often too complicated to learn from easily because basic, underlying patterns are often obscured. The idea of a game is to strip off the complexities and create a simplified version of reflection and
feedback that is rare in real life.
The game is neither threatening nor embarrassing. It merely acts as a vehicle to give the players feedback
on their own patterns and beliefs, thus enabling them to find more powerful ways to solve problems and
conflicts in the future.

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

THE MAP GAME: Participants Manual

The Play of the Game:

You are on one of the two teams, the BLUE or the RED. Each team will be attempting to build roads
across the same territory. Your overall goal is do the best you can for your team, given the situation defined
by the rule of the game. You have a map of the territory, indicating the parts your team owns. The teams
are competitive in that they are trying to build more successful roads than all the other teams; they are also
cooperative since they will need to build parts of their roads through territory owned by the other team.
The first step in the game is for each team to spend 5-8 minutes going over the rules, their map and thinking
about the best strategy to use with the other team. After that initial period with your own team, you will
have 30 minutes for negotiating with the other team.
You should consider carefully what roads you want to build; roads which twist and turn around the board
are more valuable than straight roads (See [2] below). But note that one very twisty road can make it
difficult to construct a second road.
Consider also how you will present your requests to the other team. Keep in mind that teams typically
make at least 1,500 points. Some make considerably more.

Rules for the Game:

[1] Your goal as a team is to acquire as many points as possible by completing successful roads.
For RED, a successful road is an unbroken red line running from the top to the bottom of the map.
For BLUE, a successful road is an unbroken blue line running from side to side.

[2] Each team receives 1,000 points for each successful road; they receive an additional 100 points for
each square used in a successful road.
Squares used in unsuccessful roads have no value at all. Squares used in two successful roads can
be counted twice, once for each road passing through.

[3] Each square on the board is owned by either the BLUE team of the RED team; the team which owns a
particular square makes the final decision about what roads pass through that square.
The only exceptions are the square that is blacked out so that neither team can pass though, and the
square that has curved roads already in place. Whichever team records a connection with those
lines first automatically makes them a part of their road.
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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

[4] A square can be filled in with any of the following patterns:

Each line in these patterns can be either RED or BLUE, contributing to either a RED or a BLUE road.
[5] The Recorders main function is to record the final decisions of each team and to compute their scores.
The Recorder is NOT to serve as an intermediary, judge or referee. They may help you find
relevant portions of the rules if you are uncertain what to do, but they cannot interpret the rules.
[6] A team may inform the Recorder about their decision on a particular square at any time. All decisions
are provisional or temporary until they are recorded; once recorded, the decision about a square cannot be
changed.
The advantage of reporting a decision early is that the other team can know you intention or agreement with them is secure. The advantage of reporting a decision later is that you can change it if
advantageous or necessary to do so.
[7] Squares not reported to the Recorder will NOT be counted.
When the time limit is up, the Recorder will compute the score for each team; there will be warnings
during the play to help you keep track of the time. Squares not recorded when TIME! is called
will not count!
The Recorder will also be working as an observer. They should be allowed to listed in on any conversations. Naturally, they cannot pass any information from team to team.

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

Two Types of Conflict: Content vs. Process

1.

Conflicts of Content
Market plans, production schedules, policy and procedures, time deadlines, budget
review, long-range plans, contracts, project plans, etc.
(what's often written)

2.

Conflicts of Process
How will we make decisions? Are everyone's roles and responsibilities clear? Who is the
formal / informal leader? Are contributions respected? Is our group fair? Will my personal
goals be met? How do behavioral styles impact communication? How, when, to whom does
information get disseminated?
(what's often unwritten)

There are two implications of this distinction:

Issues of process usually masquerade as issues of content.

That is, we use questions of market strategy or production plans to fight questions of
relative influence, prestige, participation, access rights, decision rights, and so on.

Issues of process must be resolved first.

When bargaining or conflict resolution is unsuccessful, it often (but not always)
means unresolved issues of process have contaminated or distorted any
consideration of genuine substantive issues. Only when process issues are clear can the discussion
of substantive issues be clear. It's often necessary to go slowly and clear up process issues to be
able to go fast and deal effectively with the substantive issues.

Exercise:
1.

List typical conflicts that occur in your team or in the workplace.

2.

Review each conflict, deciding if it is a conflict of content or of process.

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

The Critical Balance: Competition vs. Cooperation

Successful conflict resolution requires a balance between cooperation and competition:

Competition acknowledges differences and incompatiable needs. It addresses conflicting goals, scarce
resources, and focuses on task success.
Cooperation searches for shared goals, maximizing utilization of resources, and focuses on group harmony.
The bargaining process is usually unsuccessful is one party becomes extremely competitive or extremely
cooperative, assuming they have legitimately incompatible interests.

Drawing The Right Boundaries

Local vs. Global Competition
1.

Local Competition
Usually more compelling, immediate consequences, face-to-face, involves personal
relationships. Often less important. We often have "clans" at the workplace - subgroup
v.s subgroup; individual vs. individual.

2.

Global Competition
Less obvious arena, but usually more important with long time delays and little direct involvement.
The issue here is that we too often take for granted the dividing lines provided for us in the situation.
We assume that its

labor vs. management

men vs. women

marketing vs. production

engineering vs. purchasing

without really stopping to ask where the real boundaries might be, or if there are any at all.

Used with permission, Jerry L. Talley, Stanford University

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

A Man was Chief

A man was chief only as long as he did the will of the people.
If he got to be too chiefly, hed go to sleep one night, and
wake up the next morning to find that he was chief all to himself.
The tribe would move away in the night, and they didnt wait
four years to do it, either.
- Sun Bear, Chippewa

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

Change Management

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

Recall a Change
Part A: Recall a significant change you have had to make at work in the past year;
(i.e. new system or procedure, voicemail, new boss or team). Answer the following
questions:
1. Who initiated the change? How were you informed? How much warning or preparation
did you receive?

2. Who was involved in the change? Several departments or groups? What was your
specific role in this change?

3. What barriers or resistance did you experience or observe?

4. How was cooperation or enthusiasm fostered?

5. What were the final results?

Part B: In your small groups, retell your experiences and list behaviors and attitudes that
promoted positive change. List ways to overcome the behaviors and attitudes that impeded
the change. If you had it to do again, what would you do differently?
List change strategies:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

Transition Curve - Leaders Role

Helping Your Team Move Through Transitions

Communicate

Reward

Listen

Facilitate

Denial

Directions: Indicate where you think your team (or each team member
individually) is on the Transition Path. Identify a strategy you can apply to
help each member.

Committment

Resistance

Exploration

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

Small Group Discussion:

Indicate where you think your team (or each individual) and where you are on the transition path.
Cite strategies to help your team move to the next stage.
1. Identify major changes you are facing:
______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

2. Which stage are you in? ________________________________________________________

3. Which stage is your team in? _____________________________________________________

(or the individuals)
4. List strategies to help your team move through the transition:
______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

Change Strategies
Listed below are seven possible reactions to change. Following each one is a strategy for dealing with that
reaction. Use the strategy as a guide to craft a specific action that you could take to ease the situation.
Identify a recent change or an upcoming change: ____________________________________________

1. If someone feels awkward, ill at ease, anxious, and helpless, they may be experiencing disidentification.
They may be thinking: I used to be somebody.
Strategy: Inform them about the change. Find ways to give them responsibility in the next step with some
freedom. Give them adequate information and encourage them to take some risks.
Specific actions you are willing to try:
Example: I will give Mary the big picture and relevant details about the move to our new building. I will
delegate to her responsibility for configuration of equipment in the new space. Ill allow her freedom of
choice within three guidelines.
List your specific actions:
____________________________________________________________________________

2. Some people will think about loss and what they have to give up. They may shut down or withdraw.
They may disengage and view change as loss.
Strategy: Dont try to sell the benefits of the change effort initially. Legitimize losses, and allow them to
mourn. Demonstrate problems and opportunities.
Specific actions you are willing to try:
__________________________________________________________________

3. Some people will feel alone, unsupported, and confused even if others are going through the change.
They may experience disorientation and think: Where do I fit it?
Strategy: Structure activities that create involvement. Encourage them to share ideas and work together.
Enlist them in planning.
Specific actions you are willing to try:

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

_____________________________________________________________________

4. People can handle only so much change. They may be thinking: This is too soon,
too fast, and too ugly. They resent the changes. They may think: Ill make mistakes and fail.
Strategy: Set and reset priorities. Make incremental changes. Give reasons for all changes.
Action:____________________________________________________________________

5.People are at different levels of readiness, openness, and understanding of change. They may avoid many
learning situations or become indecisive.
Strategy: Recognize that some people are risk takers and others take longer to feel secure. Be sensitive to
their struggles as you do individual coaching. Use the stages of transition to coach them. .
Action: _____________________________________________________________________

6. People will be concerned that they dont have enough resources (time, money, skills, or help). Their
stress levels elevate. They may feel disenchanted, thinking: Isnt this terrible?
Strategy: Encourage creative problem solving and the need for short-term sacrifice.Plan for mentoring and
training. Adjust performance expectations.
Action: _____________________________________________________________________

7. If you take the pressure off and neglect to give feedback, people may revert back to old behavior.
They may backslide or cling to the past, thinking: Ill do it my way, the good old way.
Strategy: Keep a focus on maintaining the change.
Action: _____________________________________________________________________

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

Why is the Change Needed?

Planning Actions
Why:

is the change needed and what are the benefits?

What:

steps have to be taken?

follow-up actions will be required?
resistance/opposing forces could occur?
driving forces can be implemented to minimize them?

Who:

will be the overall champion?

needs to be involved?
needs to be informed?
will complete each action step?

How:

will I/we create an awareness of the need for change?

will I/we tell the key players and others affected?
will I/we evaluate success?

When:

will the change be initially introduced?

will each step be completed?
can we expect that the change will be in place?
do we celebrate successes?

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

PERSONAL POWER

No other individual has the power to determine

how I will think and feel about myself.
- Nathaniel Branden

Freedom is the power to choose your response

to any condition or to choose your attitude in
situations where you have no control.
- Victor Frankl

Developing a sense of personal power involves

developing a belief in yourself. You should believe that you can go after what you want and that
you have the ability to reach your goals in your
own way.
- Marilyn Manning, Ph.D.

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

Stress Management:

Creating Work-Life Balance

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

Definitions of Stress

1.

Stress is a nonspecific physical reaction to change.

2.

Stress occurs when we perceive ourselves having excessive demands without the appropriate
resources, the feeling of being pressured or overloaded.

3.

Stress is the response of our bodies and minds to any demand or change.

Activity: List the 3-5 things that presently cause you the most stress. Write down how you are
currently coping. Be prepared to discuss your answers in a small group.

The American Management Association found in an extensive survey of 1400 top

managers and 1200 middle managers that the four main causes of on-the-job
stress for them were: "time pressures caused by a heavy work load, the disparity
between what they had to do and what they'd like to accomplish, the political
climate of their organization, and the lack of feedback on performance."

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

Stress Reduction Tips

1.

Be still. Let the world rush by you for a few moments. It isnt necessary, or possible, to be in
constant motion.

2.

Focus. Concentrate on one thing at a time. When you give matters your full attention, they can often
be completed with more satisfaction.

3.

Listen. Avoid interrupting. Why commit your energy to hindering or trying to finish another persons
thoughts? Be an active listener; itll unclog blocked communication channels. Try to see the others
point of view. Let go of resentment by practicing forgiving.

4.

Relax. Practice every day. Sit quietly; close your eyes; with each breath, think in then out.
Practice 10 minutes every day for 2 weeks.

5.

Savor your food. Eating is as much a sensory experience as it is a physical necessity. Try setting
your fork down after each bite.

6.

Monitor your thoughts. When you realize you are thinking negative or cynical thoughts, in your
mind visualize a red stop sign.

7.

Laugh at yourself. Humor can defuse anger. Learn to lighten up.

8.

Take regular time off. Refresh you mind and body by getting away from routines when they
become too restrictive.

9.

Live one day at a time. You can drastically increase frustration levels by living in the future or the
past. Pretend today is your last day.

10.

Acknowledge your positives and what you are grateful for. Review your positive actions and
feelings every day before retiring. Keep a gratitude journal.

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]
(wbtopics/stress/reduction-tips)

Stress Map I

Part I
Environment: Pressures and Satisfactions
Scales
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

Work Changes
Work Pressures
Work Satisfactions
Personal Changes
Personal Pressures
Personal Satisfactions

Strategies
1.
2.
3.
4.

Time and Change Management Principles

Lifetime Goals
Networks
Relaxation Techniques

Its easier to get folks to agree to do better tomorrow than to

get them to do their best today.

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

Lifetime Goals Exercise

One stress management strategy is to manage time and goals more systematically.
Focusing on lifetime goals can improve how you manage your daily time. Think about your mission or
purpose in life and your personal values as you set goals.
Mission:

Values:

Lifetime Goals: List three lifetime goals. Consider physical, mental, social, emotional, and spiritual. Example: Write a book on my leadership experience.

One Year Goals: Pick one goal from above; list three actions you could take during the next 12 months to
help you accomplish this goal. Example: Publish one article.

One Month Goals: List three actions you can take in the next month to accomplish your one year goals.
Example: Write an outline for an article.

One Week Goal: List one thing you can do in the next week to move you toward this goal.
Example: List 5 topics for an article.

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Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

Visualization and Relaxation Techniques

Islands of Peace:
Recall a peaceful place in nature that makes you smile when you think of it. Using all five senses, write a
detailed description. Read this as a reminder to relax.
Breathing Technique
Get seated comfortably. Close your eyes, relax your muscles, take a deep breathe, hold it for a count of 1
or 2 and sigh or moan as you exhale. This usually takes 3 or 4 times before you really release tension.
Muscle Relaxation
Sit comfortably, uncross your arms and legs. Take a deep breath in and out slowly. Repeat the following
phrases slowly, five times each with slow, deep breathing.
Breathe In
A.
B.
C.
D.
E.
F.
G.
H.

Breathe Out

I am.............................................................................relaxed
My arms and legs.....................................................are heavy and warm
My heartbeat.............................................................is calm and regular
My breathing.............................................................is relaxed and comfortable
My abdomen.............................................................is warm
My forehead..............................................................is cool
My mind....................................................................is quiet and still
Now, slowly repeat your own goal twenty times, once per breath,
(e.g. I am relaxed and dynamic while speaking).

Systematic Relaxation to Music

Play meditative/relaxation music in the background. Suggested artists: Kitaro, Steve Halpern, Tony Scott,
Georgia Kelly, Paul Winter, Paul Horn, Deuter, K. Robertson, George Winston, Zamfir, Bearns & Dexter,
Syncresta, Ray Lynch, Mike Rowland, Iasos, Bernoff.
Sit comfortably, legs and arms uncrossed, slow down breathing, close your eyes. Starting with your feet, let
your right foot feel very heavy and relaxed; now focus on your left foot, let it relax. Focus on your right calf,
let it relax. Next, your left calf. Then relax your right knee, and your left knee; your right thigh, left thigh, and
the rest of your body mentally moving from your legs to your torso, upper body, arms, neck, and head.

" Every part of your body responds to your emotions."

Robert E. Decker, Director
Palo Alto Center for Stress Related Disorders

29
Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

Stress Map II

Part II
Coping Responses: Assets and Liabilities
Scales
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.

Self Care
Direct Action
Support Seeking
Situation Mastery
Adaptability
Time Management

Strategies
1.
2.

Type A
Procrastination

30
Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

Type A Strengths
List Strengths and Weaknesses for Each Behavior:
1. Time Urgency
Wasting time is unthinkable; keeps close track of time; impatient with delay; over
schedules; likes lists, details, deadlines, and calendars.
Strengths:
Weaknesses:
2. Goal Oriented and Competitive
Identifies with work and accomplishments; likes recognition; strives for advancement
and winning; perfectionist; compulsive and hard-driving; aggressive; may have a hidden
lack of self-esteem. (If one's expectations are in excess of one's achievements, self-esteem
remains inadequate).
Strengths:
Weaknesses:
3. Polyphasic and Fast Moving
Does multiple activities at one time (shaves, listens to audio tape, and works on report
while driving); uncomfortable only doing one thing; a blur of activity (talks, drives, eats,
and moves fast); interrupts others; uneasy when waiting; judges performance in terms of
numbers (how many, how much).
Strengths:
Weaknesses:
4. Free Floating Hostility
Frequently frustrated; justified anger; finds excuses and reasons for irritation; faultfinding and blaming; impatient with others, especially errors; needs to control; needs to
be right or dominate; hypercritical; may use loud voice, sigh, shake fist or roll eyes;
demanding and critical of self and others; holds a grudge.
Strengths:
Weaknesses:
5. Other Behaviors
Tense face, rapid eye blinking, sighing, clicking, lip smacking, hurried speech, jiggling
knee or fingers, nodding head, groaning, complaining, mumbling, folded arms, or
sneering.
31
Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

Stress Map III/IV

Part III & IV

Inner World: Thoughts and Feelings
Scales
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
21.

Self Esteem
Positive Outlook
Personal Power
Connection
Expression
Compassion
Physical Symptoms
Behavioral Symptoms
Emotional Symptoms

Strategies
1.
2.
3.

Stress-Resistant Personality
Stress Response
Self-Defeating Behaviors

32
Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

Self-Defeating Behaviors
A self-defeating behavior is a coping behavior that no longer works. It is a behavior that was once developed to help us with a fear or anxiety. The behavior may or may not have been effective when it was
adopted, but is currently ineffectual.

Self-defeating behaviors are often habits that are no longer helping us.

They work against us, even though they were originally adopted to reward or
take care of ourselves.

A self-defeating behavior is something we do, not something that we are. We can

exert choice in changing it.
Examples of Self-Defeating Behaviors

1.

Setting up unrealistic goals with unrealistic time frames or being ambiguous.

2.

Having so many balls up in the air that you become ineffective in all or most of them.

3.

Blaming others....or yeah, buts (excuses) you tell yourself.

4.

Rescuing others to the detriment of meeting your own needs.

5.

Procrastination.

6.

Perfectionism.

7.

Overanalyzing/resisting decisions.

8.

Classic Type A - Workaholic - Compulsive doer.

Exercise:
List one specific self-defeating behavior you would like to change:

What are the consequences of this behavior:

Describe a specific desired behavior to replace it:

33
Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

Coaching & Empowerment

Coaching is face-to-face leadership that pulls
together people with diverse backgrounds, talents,
and experiences, encourages them to step up to
responsibility and continued achievement, and
treats them as full-scale partners and contributors.
- A Passion for Excellence,
Peters and Austin

People want to feel that they are important

and that their contribution matters. Recognizing
and using peoples abilities and experiences
involves them in a way that builds rapport,
respect, ownership and loyalty. The higher
morale is, the harder employees are likely
to work. Better productivity results.
- Marilyn Manning, Ph.D.

When you delegate, your team members

learn to take responsibility. The commitment
and energy of the team can increase
dramatically.
- Marilyn Manning, Ph.D.

34
Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663
Fax (650) 965-3668 website www.MManning.com [email protected]

Appendix

12
Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

Training Materials
Statistically Valid Assessment Tools
Personal Profile System (self assessment) 2800 Series
The personal profile system presents a plan to help you understand self and others in a specific environment.
Heighten your understanding of your own behavioral profile and identify the environment most conducive to
your success. Learn about the differences of others and the environment they require for maximum productivity and teamwork in the organization.
360* Interpersonal Profile Report (Computer-generated Report /40+ pages)
You along with five selected individuals profile your behavioral style, performance flexibility, and versatility.
Included are computer-generated graphs and reports that display the relationship of your 4 behavioral
tendencies, comparing your input to the other five. Includes a range of intensity of over 30 behaviors such
as "advocates, assumes, praises." Invaluable feedback for managers, administrators, and leaders. Good
tool for coaching and supervising. Allows individuals to identify work behavioral styles and the environment in which a person works most effectively. The Profile helps you capitalize on your strengths. Report
includes behavioral highlights and overview, motivating factors, preferred environment, strategies for increased effectiveness, demotivating factors, and behaviors in conflict situations.
Managing Work Expectations - Transforming Attitudes Profile
Explore ten key areas that impact today's employment relationships. Recognition, autonomy, security,
expression, teamwork, career growth, diversity, balance, structure, and environment.
Personal Listening Profile
It's estimated that people screen out or change the intended purpose of what they hear in over 70% of all
communications. The biggest factor contributing to such miscommunication is our listening approach. This
Profile helps people learn how listening approaches impact listening effectiveness, improve their ability to
understand the purpose of different communications, overcome listening barriers and reduce conflict, and
enhance individual and team performance.
Discovering Diversity Profile
This profile helps people discover their own personal comfort level with people different from themselves,
understand the impact of their behaviors and others, assess the accuracy of their knowledge about differences, and embrace diversity as a source of organizational strength.
Time Mastery Profile
Setting priorities and managing time effectively is basic to organizational performance. Let this profile help
you discover time management strengths, develop new skills for improved performance, increase productivity and reduce stress, and focus on the priorities. It provides a practical road map for improving.
DiSC Management Action Planner
Become a better manager with this action-oriented planning tool that bridges DiSC and situational leadership theory. Develop management strategies to meet diverse needs. Use this to plan your coaching sessions
and help make your feedback more specific and measurable.

13
Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

Using Stress and Conflict Positively 2 cassette audio album

One of the most well-thought-out, succinctly presented and practical treatments yet encountered on
how to deal creatively with lifes tension. (Personal Selling Power Magazine)
Develop a stress-resistant personality
Relaxation & problem-solving techniques
Personal Power Strategies 2 cassette audio album
An excellent discussion of the nature, diversity and application of power. The ideas are invaluable to
all business people and professionals. Dr. Manning never unveils a provoking concept without telling
how to implement it. - Personal Selling Power Magazine
Elevating self-esteem & risk taking
Creating balancing
Professionalism in the Office: Proven Techniques for Administrators, Secretaries, & Coordinators
Crisp Publications 2001-Manning
An excellent blend of no-nonsense, practical advice and positive motivation all in one book.
- 1st V.P., Professional Secretaries International
Managing Time, Conflict & Stress Decision Making, Writing & Speaking Tips
Leadership Skills for Women -Crisp Publications 1995-Manning & Haddock
An action-oriented book that gives the busy working woman an extra edge to succeed in her job.
- Director, National Association of Female Executives
Team Building & organizational skills
Conflict management & delegation
Office Management: A Productivity and Effectiveness Guide -Crisp Publications 2001-Manning
and Haddock
A practical guide for increasing office productivity. I recommend it for beginners as well as experienced managers. Must reading for anyone in an office environment. - Exec. Dir. Leadership Academy
Office planning, measurements & control Customer relations

____ Personal Profile System 2800 Series x $16.00

____ 360* Interpersonal Profile Report x $225.00
____ Managing Work Expectations Profile x $18.00

Ship To: _______________________________

_______________________________
_______________________________

____ Personal Listening Profile x $16.00

Subtotal: $___________

____ Discovering Diversity Profile x $16.00

____ Time Mastery Profilex $18.00
____ DiSC Management Action Planner set(s) of 10 x $55.00

Shipping and Handling: $__________

$5 for first item
$2 for each additional item

____ "Using Stress and Conflict Positively" x $25.00

____ "Personal Power Strategies" x $25.00

8.25% CA sales tax: $__________

____ "Professionalism in the Office" Crisp Publication x $13.95

____ "Office Management" Crisp Publication x $13.95
Total Enclosed: $___________
____ Leadership Skills for Women x $13.95

14

Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com / email: [email protected]

Reading List

Carlzon, Jan. Moments of Truth: New Strategies for Todays Customer-Driven Economy.
Harper and Row, 1989.
Drew, Jeanine & 3M Meeting Mgmt. Team. Mastering Meetings - Discovering the Hidden
Potential in Effective Business Meetings. McGraw Hill Inc., 1994.
Friedman, Meyer, M.D. and Diane Ulmer. Treating Type A Behavior and Your Heart.
Fawcett Crest, 1984.
Johnson, Spencer, M.D. Who Moved my Cheese? G. P. Putnams Sons, 1998.
Kouzes, James and Barry Pozner. Encouraging the Heart, A Leaders Guide to Rewarding &
Recognizing Others. Jossen-Bass, 1999.
Manning, Marilyn and Patricia Haddock. The NAFE Guide To Starting Your Own
Business; A Handbook for Entrepreneurial Women. Irwin Professional Publishing, 1995.
Manning and Haddock. Leadership Skills for Women. Crisp Publications, Inc., 1995.
Manning and Haddock. Office Management: A Productivity and Effectiveness Guide. Crisp
Publications, Inc., 1990.
Manning, Marilyn and Helen Rietz. The One-Stop Guide to Workshops.
Irwin Professional Publishing, 1994.
Manning, Marilyn. Personal Power Strategies. Using Stress and Conflict Positively, 1990.
(audio cassettes).
Morrisey, Geoge L. A Guide to Strategic Thinking. Jossey-Bass Publishers, 1996.
Oakley, Ed and Doug Krug. Enlightened Leadership. Fireside, 1994.
Scholtes, Peter et al., The Team Handbook - How to Use Teams to Improve Quality.
Joiner Associates, 1988.
Tannen, Deborah. Talking From 9 to 5. William Morrow, 1994.
Tichy, Noel. The Leadership Engine: How Winning Companies Build Leaders at Every Level.
Harper Business, 1997.
Ury, William. Getting Past No. Bantam Books, 1993.
Zemke, Ron and John Woods. Best Practices in Customer Service. Amacom, 1999.

Note: Marilyn Mannings books can be ordered from her website at www.MManning.com.
15
Marilyn Manning, Ph.D. 945 Mountain View Ave. Mtn. View, CA 94040 (650) 965-3663 Fax (650) 965-3668
website: www.MManning.com email: [email protected]
(wbtopics/appx-mater/3reading)