Dr.

Ram Manohar Lohia National Law University

Lucknow,U.P.

Final Project For English

Topic: Assertive Behaviour and its Importance.

Name: pratibha singh

Roll No.: 87
Semester:1st

Submitted To
Alka Singh
Professor In English

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT :A major research project like this is never

the work of anyone alone. Firstly, I would like
to thank respected Asst. Professor Alka
singh, for giving me such a golden
opportunity to show my skills and capability
through this project.
This project is the result of the extensive
ultrapure study, hard work and labour, put
into to make it worth reading. This project
has been completed through the generous
co-operation of various persons, especially
my seniors, who, in their different potentials
helped me a lot in giving the finishing touch
to the project.
This project couldnt be completed without
the help of my universitys library Dr. Madhu
Limaye Library and its internet facility.
I am glad to have made it

Thanking You........

CONTENT
Aim of the topic
What is assertiveness?..................................................

Passive behavior..
Aggressive behavior.

Passive-aggressive behavior
Assertive behavior..

Attitude..
Assertiveness In Leadership.
Advantages......
Disadvantages.
Characteristics of Assertive Communication.
Conclusion
Biblography..

AIM OF THE TOPIC:The project aims to study and trace out the various forms of behavior that are usually observed in
them. Also, it has closely observed the patterns of their methodology and would also suggest few
effective methods and steps that could make their communication more effective.

What is Assertiveness?
The term assertiveness is generally used to denote confident behavior. Though this implication
isnt incorrect, yet it fails to accurately depict what behaviorists mean by assertive behavior. In
fact, just acting in a confident way without understanding what assertiveness really means can do
more harm than good. For example, when two confident speakers debate an issue without the
honest intention of empathetically listening to the other and thus being prepared to allow the
other to influence the decision, poor interpersonal communication, or harmful conflict, is the
usual outcome. Such behaviour creates more problems than it helps resolve. Researchers
postulate that assertive behavior is marked by openness and receptiveness. In contrast, passive
behavior particularly lacks
openness while aggressive behavior is mostly devoid of
receptiveness. The mark of an assertive person is that she is open, stands up for her rights and
communicates in a way that facilitates assertive behavior in others. Thus, assertiveness is a sort
of attitude one possesses to oneself as well to others. In fact, it is a set of attitudes that governs
the perceptions and cognitions which are manifested as ones general style of communication.
What this in effect means is that an assertive person is predisposed to behaving in a way that
facilitates effective communication, problem solving and teamwork. This does not, however,
mean that an assertive person adopts a fixed or predetermined style of communication which is
not responsive to the peculiarities of the situation or to the demands of the relationship. In fact,
she is alert to the realities of the moment and can monitor herself as well as read other peoples
non-verbal cues. She is emphatic in putting her point of view across but her sole aim is to solve
the problem rather than to dominate others. Therefore, she is particularly careful with her tone
and body language; keeping the objectives of the interaction in mind. In other words, an assertive
person communicates to achieve the situational objectives, keeping the relational objectives in
mind. This can be understood better with the help on an example. Lets visualize a situation
where a manager strives hard to achieve objectives each day on the job. Most of us get very
involved in attempting to achieve such targets as the corporate world tends to get more and more
stressful with each passing year. With performance and results being our watchwords it is but
natural to put pressure on our subordinates to achieve goals at any cost. Quite often we encounter
situations where our subordinates disagree with us on the best possible course of action. We try
to convince them but when we dont seem to succeed we sometimes end up dominating them and
forcing our point of view. This often happens because of our involvement with situational
objectives. If our subordinates choose to trust their own judgments, and fail, we might even

severely chastise them for visible insubordination. Such situations are more often than not
fraught by acrimony and everybody seems to be playing the blame game. Thus, an over
involvement with situational objectives results in passive or aggressive behavior, as seen above.
On the other hand, if we bring our relationships into focus, in addition to the situational
objectives, our perception of reality changes. For example, in the above-mentioned situation, if
the manager also focuses on her relationship with her subordinates, namely, that of a mentor,
trainer and guide, then, her style of communication may change. Since a key prerequisite of
effective mentorship is mutual respect and liking, the manager might refrain from
communicating in a way that undermines the relationship. Thus, while emphasizing that the
situational objectives must be achieved the manager will now seek collaboration and ask
people how best it can be done rather than tell them. Even if the situation requires that
directives be issued, the manager may explain the whys because she would, in her mind, be
performing the role of a guide or mentor. Thus, the tone of the communication will remain
supportive or objective and not 4 acrimonious or confrontational. The manger will now be more
likely to patiently listen to the peoples apprehensions and actively engage them to dispel
misgivings. This is how focusing on the relational aspects besides the situational and
organizational objectives, may lead to assertive behavior.

Passive behavior:Passive or non-assertive behaviour comes primarily from the Obedient/Adapted Child or
Nurturing Parent ego. Passive people adopt the life position l am not OK you are OK. Passive
behaviour is an avoidance of behaviour or an accommodation of others wishes without standing
for ones own right. It involves self-denial and sacrifices. A person who is unassertive or passive
by reason of his interpersonal fears may not be able to complain about the poor service in a
restaurant/hotel room, contradict a friend with whom he disagrees, get up and leave a social
situation that has become boring, or express affection, appreciation or praise. Such persons as
employees learn early in their careers that if they speak up they are not likely to get a raise or
promotion and may even lose their jobs. Passive people often have very poor self-esteem and are
unhappy. The passivity is based on unknown fearsfear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of
displeasing others, fear of retaliation, fear of hurting others and being hurt, and fear of getting
into trouble. Passivity of behaviour is not by birth but it is because of what is learnt in early
childhood.

Aggressive behavior:-

Aggressive behaviour comes primarily through Critical Parent or Rebellious Child. Aggressive
people are demanding, rude, and dominating. They want their own way and force to gain control.
Aggressive people are very competitive and do not like to lose. For winning in any interpersonal
conflict they will not hesitate to cheat to gain control. They have a tendency to violate the rights
of others to get their way. Non-verbal communication used by aggressive people includes cold
response, speaking loudly, threatening gestures and belligerent postures, showing impatience,
shaking fingers, and making fists. People avoid contact with aggressive people and transaction is
minimal.
Aggressive people appear to be self-confident but the behaviour is more often the result of poor
self-concept. Although they are in I am not OK position, but consistently try to prove that they
are in OK position by attacking and controlling others. Since they have inherent inferiority
complex, they try hard to prove their worth by violating others rights.

Passive-aggressive behavior:Passive-aggressive behaviour is displayed in different ways due to split personality. A person
may behave aggressively with his subordinates but may behave passively with his boss. This
person may have assertive difficulties which lead to inadequate behaviour.
In some situations a person may use passive behaviour and then shortly afterward uses
aggressive behaviour. For example, an employee may accept to do a job in front of his boss and
immediately afterwards may get annoyed, slam the door, and shout at the next person he meets.
Sometimes, a person may be behaving in a passive way but building up hostility within himself.
After repeated use of such behaviour, he builds up pent-up feeling due to repeated irritants and
suddenly he becomes aggressive with another person. The person attacked does not understand
the full situation and blames the man who behaved aggressively. This results in bad interpersonal
relations.

Assertive behavior:Assertive behaviour comes out of Adult ego state with I am OK, you are OK position.
Assertive people express their feelings, emotions, and thoughts without being aggressive. They
express their ideas, feelings, and thoughts firmly and emphatically without being rude and
unreasonable and without offending others.
These persons stand up to their rights without violating the rights of others. Non-verbal
communication of an assertive person includes positive facial expression like smiling, eye
contact, pleasant voice, erect postures, and firm gestures.

The person with assertive behaviour is having positive self-concepts. They do not get threatened
and do not allow others to control their behaviour. They project positive image of themselves.
Assertive personality
A truly assertive person possesses following three characteristics:

Communication: He can communicate with people at all levels. His communication is

always open, direct, honest, and appropriate.

Active orientation: He has an active orientation to life. He has a goal of his life and goes
after what he wants. In contrast, a passive person waits for things to happen where an
assertive person attempts things to happen.

Revelation: He reveals himself freely.

Many people have an erroneous concept of assertion confusing it with aggression and telling
themselves aggression is always bad. They fail to distinguish between being liked and being
respected. Some people lack assertion because they have not acquired the skill through
experience and practice. Someone who lacks assertion says yes to a request when he does not
want to give an affirmative response. He does it because he has never learned the art of saying
no.

ATTITUDE:Attitudes are considered an evaluative predisposition to perception and behaviour. They are
evaluative statements or judgments concerning objects, people or events. A more accurate and
scientific description is that an attitude is an enduring system that includes a cognitive
component, a feeling component, and an action tendency. It can be classified as positive,
negative or neutral (which can also be viewed as a non-existent attitude). However, it is not
possible to see somebodys attitudes; they have to be guessed by observing behaviour. Attitudes
are influenced by values and also by experience but, once they are formed, they are generally
long lasting. There is a lack of clear terminology and distinctions between attitudes, values and
beliefs. Therefore, in the absence of consensus, we will limit our explanation to what has already
been understood. An interesting thing about attitudes is that though they are evaluative
statements which influence behaviour, they are not always an accurate predictor of Behaviour.

Assertiveness In Leadership:Assertiveness is very important in leadership it is one of the key leadership skills for achieving
success in leading a group of people. Leaders who are not assertive enough fail to stand up for
themselves or their groups or organisations and thus allow themselves (or their group or

organisation) to be taken advantage of.There are many benefits to being assertive in the right
way by standing up for yourself and your group and communicating your needs, you will gain
respect for yourself and your group, because people respect those who can honestly express their
feelings and needs in a non-confrontational manner.
Being assertive can help relationships to become more authentic, as you will be able to share
your honest reactions with others and encourage them to do the same with you. In addition,
expressing your feelings about other peoples behaviour gives them an accurate indicator of
where they stand and enables them to modify their behaviour.In fact, although many people fear
being assertive because they worry about the potential for conflict, not being assertive can also
damage relationships because you end up sacrificing your integrity and denying honest, personal
feelings which can lead to resentment and damaged relationships.

ADVANTAGES:There are many advantages of assertive communication, most notably these:

It helps us feel good about ourselves and others

It leads to the development of mutual respect with others

It increases our self-esteem

It helps us achieve our goals

It minimises hurting and alienating other people

It reduces anxiety

It protects us from being taken advantage of by others

It enables us to make decisions and free choices in life

It enables us to express, both verbally and non-verbally, a wide range of feelings and
thoughts, both positive and negative

DISADVANTAGES:-

Others may not approve of this style of communication, or may not approve of the views you
express. Also, having a healthy regard for another person's rights means that you won't always
get what YOU want. You may also find out that you were wrong about a viewpoint that you held.
But most importantly, as mentioned earlier, it involves the risk that others may not understand
and therefore not accept this style of communication.

CHARACTERISTICS OF ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION:There are six main characteristics of assertive communication. These are:

eye contact: demonstrates interest, shows sincerity

body posture: congruent body language will improve the significance of the message

gestures: appropriate gestures help to add emphasis

voice: a level, well modulated tone is more convincing and acceptable, and is not
intimidating

timing: use your judgement to maximise receptivity and impact

content: how, where and when you choose to comment is probably more important than
WHAT you say.

CONCLUSION:To sum up, organizations need to impart assertiveness training to their employees across all
levels. This will enhance the quality of interpersonal relationships within the organization.
Consequently, managerial effectiveness will be enhanced and pathological stress diminished.
Organizational efficiencies will increase dramatically because poor interpersonal communication
is said to be the number one cause of managerial failure. According to one survey, 64% of the
employees do not generally believe what their managers say,and, over half of all conflicts are
said to emanate from communication errors. Therefore, organizations must start providing
assertiveness training to their personnel today!

BIBLOGRAPHY
1)http://ezinearticles.com
2)http://www.anants.org/articles/Assertiveness.pdf
3)Elementary Behaviour of Composite Steel and Concrete Structural Members

4)Dos and Don'ts of Behaviour Management 2nd Edition