End of Tour Script
End of Tour Script
Screenplay by
Donald Margulies
Directed by
James Ponsoldt
Based on
"Although Of Course You End Up Becoming Yourself:
A Road Trip With David Foster Wallace"
by David Lipsky
2014 EOT Film Productions, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No Portion of this script may be performed,
published, reproduced, sold or distributed by any means, or quoted or published in any medium, including on any
website without prior written consent of EOT Film Productions, LLC. This material is the property of EOT Film
Productions LLC and is intended and restricted for use solely for EOT Film Productions, LLC personnel.
Distribution of disclosure of this material to unauthorized persons is prohibited.
Disposal of this script copy does alter any restrictions previously set forth.
FADE IN:
1
INT. LIPSKYS WEST END AVE APT/LIVING ROOM/OFFICE - NYC 2008 - NIGHT
LIPSKY
Hey, Bob, whats up?
BOBS VOICE
(over phone) Listen: According to
this unconfirmed report... David
Wallace is dead.
LIPSKY
(disputing) What? No no no no, must
be a college prank or something...
Lipsky rapidly googles david foster wallace death and scans
the news.
BOBS VOICE
I thought if anybody knew whether it
was true or not...
Shock registers on Lipskys face.
SIEGEL.
2.
4
3.
7A
4.
Lipsky stops and presses rewind on the tape player. He
ruminates as we HEAR the whir of the tape rewinding.
FLASHBACK TO:
10
10
11
14
5.
David, hi!
Great!
BEARDED GUY
Howd your reading go?
LIPSKY
BEARDED GUY
Sorry I missed it!
LIPSKY
Dont worry about it!
Drinks held aloft, Lipsky continues into the crowd.
A MODEL:
MODEL
I heard you got the Rolling Stone job!
Well see!
LIPSKY
Im sort of on probation!
15
6.
LIPSKY (CONTD)
- (not including footnotes) - the
competition has been obliterated.
Its as though Paul Bunyan had joined
the NFL or Wittgenstein had gone on
Jeopardy! The novel is that colossally
disruptive. And that spectacularly
good. Thats the fucking opening
paragraph!
SARAH
What if it actually is that good? You
know? You may just have to read it.
16
16
LIPSKY
LIPSKY
I checked.
BOB
Maybe thats because Rolling Stone
doesnt interview writers.
LIPSKY
There hasnt been a writer like this
one. Once in a generation, maybe.
Hemingway, Pynchon. Let me have this
story.
BOB
What story?
17
7.
Lipsky tosses Newsweek, opened to a photo of Wallace, onto
Bobs messy desk.
LIPSKY
Hes finishing up his book tour and I
want to go with him.
BOB
Thats not a story.
LIPSKY
He teaches at some small state
university, somewhere in Illinois.
Send me there. Please, Bob. This is
the sort of stuff I should be doing,
not 500-words on boy bands. Talk to
Jann?
17A
18
LIPSKY
There will be!
Now what?
20
21
20
21
8.
22
22
25
26
27
9.
This is the first time we see David up close and in focus:
stubble, long hair, blue bandanna, wire-rims, Frye boots,
62 and, at this time in his life, burly.
DAVID
You made it.
Yeah.
Hi.
LIPSKY
David offers his wary, tolerant hand. This being the end of
his tour, his patience is frayed and hes just about talked
out. But, at the same time, its Rolling Stone, he wants to
make a good impression.
Dave.
DAVID
Dave Wallace.
LIPSKY
David Lipsky. Pleasure.
Lipsky is cowed but determined to hold his own. These are
two really smart, competitive guys out to impress each other.
Wallace wants to be favorably profiled and Lipsky wants
Wallaces approval - and a good story.
LIPSKY
Sorry about the phone call.
95% joke.
DAVID
Lipsky laughs.
DAVID (CONTD)
Sorry in advance about the dogs, gonna
be slobbering all over you.
LIPSKY
Oh, I dont mind.
I love dogs.
DAVID
Yeah? Well, you havent met these
guys... Its cold, lets go inside.
(to the dogs) Jeeves, Drone! Get over
here!
Lipsky follows David and the rowdy, barking dogs into the
house.
10.
28
LIPSKY
DAVID (O.S.)
Thank you. I cant take credit for it.
Lipsky smiles.
Pause.
LIPSKY
So... Have you always been unlisted?
DAVID
(from the kitchen) I had to do that
recently. It was getting crazy.
28
11.
LIPSKY
Because of fans?
DAVID
I dont know if fan would be the
right word... I think what happened
was, I had forgotten to tell my
parents not to give my number out. So
it was people who tracked my parents
down, and um (knowing)
LIPSKY
Ohhh.
DAVID
I have this terrible problem, I just
really hate to hurt peoples feelings.
So I did something kinda cowardly.
LIPSKY
Unlisting your numbers not cowardly.
DAVID
It kinda is. I mean, I changed my
number so these folks couldnt find me
anymore. There was this computer
operator in Vancouver, lived in a
basement. Who I found really moving.
In terrible terrible pain.
LIPSKY
What did he want from you?
DAVID
Wasnt clear, and when I would sort of
ask him, hed get angry, and thats
when it got scary.
Lipsky sees a childs drawing displayed on the fridge:
Chickenhead Dave Wallace.
LIPSKY
(re: the drawing)
DAVID
Hm? (Lipsky points.) Oh, my friends
daughter. Calls me Chickenhead, and I
call her Chickenhead. Her latest
salvo in the war.
Laughing, Lipsky takes out his tape recorder and starts to
set it up but stops. (Lipsky is a nervous laugher; he laughs
a lot, not only where indicated.)
12.
LIPSKY
You mind if I...?
Hey.
DAVID
Do what youve got to do.
LIPSKY
DAVID
I need to know that anything that I
ask you five minutes later to not put
in, you wont put in.
LIPSKY
Absolutely.
He clicks off the recorder.
DAVID
Given my level of fatigue and fuck-up
quotient lately, its the only way I
can see doin it and not going crazy.
LIPSKY
I understand completely.
Lipsky presses play.
DAVID
Right back on, huh.
LIPSKY
You agreed to the interview.
29
Ad-libs.
DAVID
...Therell be signs for the school on
the right.
LIPSKY
You like teaching there?
29
13.
DAVID
Yeah, I do, very much, thats whats
so fucked, I feel so bad for these
kids.
LIPSKY
Why do you feel bad them, they have
the best writing teacher in the world.
DAVID
If I were there, maybe. The whole
fuss has taken me out of school for
the past two weeks and Im gonna have
to leave again tomorrow. Weve got to
get up at the crack of dawn to leave
for the airport, by the way.
LIPSKY
Oh, shit, do we really?
DAVID
Thats what you signed on for, man.
Youre welcome to stick around, write
an article about my dogs. Might be
more interesting, I promise you.
David spits chewed tobacco into a Savarin can.
31
31
31A
Okay.
LIPSKY
31A
Hes
14.
EARNEST STUDENT
I just want my narrator to be funny
and smart, yknow?
DAVID
I know. You want your narrator to be
funny and smart. Heres a tip, then:
Have him say funny, smart things some
of the time.
Laughter.
32
Whos next?
They
DAVID
LIPSKY
Oh, come on, you know they do.
DAVID
You hungry?
33
33
A large Diet
33B
15.
LIPSKY
Ill have the same.
WAITER
Ill be right back with your pop.
The waiter goes.
LIPSKY
You dont drink.
David doesnt answer right away.
DAVID
Is that a question?
LIPSKY
Its an observation.
DAVID
Ah. I see. No; I do not drink. You
can order whatever you want, go right
ahead.
LIPSKY
Thats all right. My friends who have
been through the program say they
didn't want people to drink in front
of them, so out of respect...
DAVID
I'm not any sort of authority on any
sort of program. But from my very
limited outside understanding, people
who have been in it for a while: you
could snort cocaine off the back of
your hand and theyre okay.
Lipsky is embarrassed for having been presumptuous.
DAVID
You know what I would love to do?
What?
LIPSKY
DAVID
I would love to do a profile of one of
you guys whos doin a profile of me.
LIPSKY
That is interesting...
Pause.
16.
DAVID
Too po-mo and cute?
LIPSKY
Maybe, for Rolling Stone.
DAVID
But it would be interesting.
(A beat.)
Im sorry.
LIPSKY
Whats wrong?
DAVID
Its just, youre gonna go back to New
York and sit at your desk and shape
this thing however you want. And that
to me is extremely disturbing.
LIPSKY
Why is it disturbing?
DAVID
Cause I would like to shape the
impression of me thats coming across.
I cant even tell if I like you yet
cause Im too worried whether you
like me.
Before Lipsky can assure him, the waiter brings their sodas.
WAITER
(handing off the sodas)
Here you go. Your food will be out
soon. Can I get you anything else?
LIPSKY
Were fine, thanks.
The waiter goes.
DAVID
So whats this piece about?
Jann want?
What does
LIPSKY
Whats it like being the most-talked
about writer in the country. That
sort of thing. That sounds so -Lipsky seems embarrassed as soon as he says the words.
17.
DAVID
How do you learn to do this stuff?
What.
LIPSKY
DAVID
Interviewing. Did you go to
interviewing school?
LIPSKY
No... I, uh...
A beat. Lipsky feels a tad fraudulent to identify himself as
a writer to the man whose success and talent he envies.
LIPSKY
Im a writer.
Oh, yeah?
DAVID
LIPSKY
I mean I write fiction. Just published
my first novel, as a matter of fact.
DAVID
Whats it called?
LIPSKY
The Art Fair?
David shrugs. Hes never heard of it.
for having brought it up.
LIPSKY
And I, uh, had a collection published,
a couple of years ago.
Lipskys pumping leg betrays his anxiety.
David notices.
DAVID
Youre a nervous guy, arent you?
LIPSKY
No no Im okay. How are you?
DAVID
Cause Im terrified.
LIPSKY
Are you? I think its going to be a
lot of fun.
18.
33D
DAVID
The thing about this tour is... I
would like to get laid out of it a
couple of times, but... Like, people
come up, they kinda slither up during
readings or whatever. But it seems
like, what I want is not to have to
take any action.
Like...?
LIPSKY
DAVID
Like, I dont want to have to say,
Would you like to come back to my
hotel? I want them to say, I am
coming back to the hotel. Where is
your hotel?
Lipsky laughs.
DAVID
I cant stand to look like Im
actively trading on this sexually.
Which of course I would be happy to
do. In retrospect, it was lucky that
I didnt.
LIPSKY
Why?
DAVID
Basically, it just would have made me
feel lonely.
LIPSKY
Why lonely?
DAVID
Because it wouldnt have had anything
to do with me, it would have just
been...
Your fame?
Yeah.
LIPSKY
DAVID
Whatever.
33D
19.
LIPSKY
Youre famous. You can say that.
Except... if theyre responding to
your work, and the work is so
personal... then trading on it is
actually another way of meeting you,
isnt that right?
A beat.
LIPSKY
DAVID
This piecell really be good if its
mostly you. Talk all you want, man,
save me a whole lotta trouble.
Lipsky laughs, sensing his stock has risen, relaxing more
into the rhythm of their conversation.
34
34
20.
DAVID
Like, Do you want to do a Rolling
Stone interview, do you want to do X,
do you want to do Y worries me that
what Im doing right now is being a
whore.
A whore?
LIPSKY
Why?
DAVID
You know, cashing in somehow, or
getting some little celebrity for
myself. That will, from some bizarre
set of misunderstandings, sell more
copies of the book.
Right.
LIPSKY
DAVID
You can quote that. Preferably in a
context where I dont sound like a
total dweeb.
(A beat.)
By the way, are they gonna send Annie
Leibovitz to take pictures?
LIPSKY
Im not sure. Possibly.
DAVID
I know: Youre a good-looking guy. We
should have em photograph you, and
say youre me. Maybe Ill finally end
up getting laid.
Lipsky laughs.
35
LIPSKY
DAVID
You dont have to pay for my shit.
35
21.
LIPSKY
Its not coming out of my pocket...
Ive got an expense account.
DAVID
All right, if you insist...
David goes back for more.
36
36
Great film.
LIPSKY
Brilliant, right?
The best.
37
DAVID
37
22.
DAVID
So if the books about anything, its
about the question of: Why am I
watching all this shit? Its not
about the shit, its about me. Why am
I doing it? And whats so American
about what Im doing?
We hear the dogs barking as David unlocks the door and they
enter the house.
38
DAVID
The minute I start talking about this
stuff, it sounds, number one: very
vague. And, two: really reductive.
LIPSKY
I dont think youre being reductive
or vague at all.
DAVID
Because its like, I dont have a
diagnosis, a system of prescriptions.
You know? Like, why are we - and by
we I mean people like you and me:
mostly white, upper middle class,
obscenely well-educated, doing really
interesting jobs, sitting in really
expensive chairs, watching the best,
most sophisticated electronic
equipment money can buy - why do we
feel empty and unhappy?
LIPSKY
Kinda like Hamlet.
surfing.
With channel-
DAVID
Im not saying TV is bad or a waste of
your time. Any more than, you know,
masturbation is bad or a waste of your
time. It's a pleasurable way to spend
a few minutes. But if you're doing it
twenty times a day, if your primary
sexual relationship is with your own
hand, then there's something wrong.
38
23.
LIPSKY
At least with masturbation, some
action has been performed, though,
right?
DAVID
All right, you could make me look like
a real dick if you print this: Yes,
you're performing muscular movements
with your hand as you're jerking off.
But what you're doing is running a
movie in your head, and having a
fantasy relationship with somebody who
isn't real, in order to stimulate a
purely neurological response.
Look: as the Internet grows in the
next ten, fifteen years, and virtual
reality pornography becomes a reality,
we're gonna have to develop some
machinery, inside our guts, to help us
turn off pure, unalloyed pleasure.
Otherwise, I dont know about you, but
Im gonna have to leave the planet.
LIPSKY
(smiles uncertainly)
Why?
DAVID
Because the technology is just gonna
get better and better. And it's gonna
get easier and easier, and more and
more convenient, and more and more
pleasurable, to be alone with images
on a screen, given to us by people who
do not love us but want our money.
Which is fine. In low doses. But if
that's the basic main staple of your
diet? You're gonna die. In a
meaningful way, you're going to die.
Silence. Lipsky mulls over the gravity of what David has
said. David breaks the portentous silence when he pops a wad
of tobacco in his mouth.
LIPSKY
Can I try that?
DAVID
Be my guest. It takes some getting
used to.
Lipsky tries it and makes a horrible face.
David laughs.
24.
LIPSKY
You mind if I use your uh...
Amused, David points the way to the bathroom.
DAVID
I believe its unoccupied.
Lipsky goes, leaving the tape running.
39
39
Lipsky spits the tobacco into the sink. He cups his hands
under the running water and rinses his mouth. He looks at
himself in the mirror and takes a deep, fortifying breath.
He stealthily opens the medicine cabinet and finds it stocked
with jars of vitamins, Stri-Dex pads and tubes of Topol,
toothpaste for smokers. He jots down notes.
40
LIPSKY
Do you not have a TV?
DAVID
I do not have a TV.
How come?
LIPSKY
DAVID
Cause if I had a TV, Id watch it all
the time. I dont even know if I would
watch it; it would be on all the time my version of a fireplace. A source
of warmth and light in the corner that
I would occasionally get sucked into.
LIPSKY
Did you watch a lot of T.V. when you
were a kid?
Yeah.
DAVID
A lot. You?
25.
LIPSKY
Me? Yeah, I did. I moved in with a
woman who grew up without a
television, and living with her, the
first month was torture, and then I
realized it was probably the best
thing for me.
DAVID
Did you guys stay together?
LIPSKY
Its complicated.
Why?
DAVID
LIPSKY
I was seeing this woman, then she
moved to L.A. and we theoretically
broke up. And I started seeing this
other woman, but then I started seeing
the first woman again - trying the bicoastal thing - and the second...
Well, lets just say she hasnt taken
it very well.
DAVID
Its so much easier having dogs. You
dont get laid; but you also dont get
the feeling youre hurting their
feelings all the time. I emphasize:
strictly platonic relationship with
the dogs.
LIPSKY
Youre not dating anyone?
DAVID
Seriously dating? No. Im out of
practice; I wouldnt know what to say.
LIPSKY
You want to have kids?
DAVID
Yeah, I think someday I do; do you?
Yeah.
LIPSKY
Eventually.
I think.
26.
DAVID
Writing books is kinda like raising
children, but you gotta be careful:
you should take pride in the work but
its bad to want that glory to reflect
back on you.
LIPSKY
You worry about having children?
David seems far away; this is difficult for him. After a
beat, he speaks, sounding vulnerable, which doesnt go
unnoticed by Lipsky.
DAVID
I dont know that I want to say
anything more about it - okay?
LIPSKY
(prepared to back off)
Thats fine.
DAVID
I mean, we can joke about getting laid
on tour and stuff, but...
LIPSKY
I just thought, itd be nice to have
someone to be sharing all this
wonderful stuff with.
DAVID
Yeah. I really have wished I was
married, the last couple of weeks.
You have?
LIPSKY
DAVID
Yeah, because nobody quite gets it.
Your friends who arent in the writing
biz are all just awed by your picture
in Time, and your agent and editor are
good people, but they have their own
agendas. Its fun talking to you
about it, but you've got an agenda,
too, and a set of interests that
diverges from mine.
LIPSKY
Thats true...
27.
DAVID
Theres something nice about having
somebody who kinda shared your life,
and that you could allow yourself just
to be happy and confused with.
LIPSKY
Somebody you can call when you get
back to the hotel.
DAVID
Uh huh. (A beat.)
married at thirty?
LIPSKY
Why aren't you married at thirty-four?
You first.
DAVID
LIPSKY
Okay. Um... I think it's hard to cast
that role to fill it when you know
it's for thirty or forty years
someone who, whatever mental landscape
you're in, they're going to be in it
too, you need someone who'll fit any
landscape you can imagine.
DAVID
Well, I can't put it as well as you
did about the mental landscapes, I
just know I'm hard to be around.
Davids mental landscapes reference: competitive, fawning,
mocking? Lipsky isnt sure.
Why?
LIPSKY
DAVID
Because when I want to be by myself,
like to work, I really want to be by
myself. I think if you dedicate
yourself to anything, one facet of
that is that it makes you very very
self-conscious. You end up using
people. Wanting them around when you
want them around, but then sending
them away.
LIPSKY
Comes with the territory, though,
doesnt it? Self-consciousness?
28.
DAVID
Theres good self-consciousness. And
then theres this toxic, paralyzing,
raped-by-psychic-Bedouins selfconsciousness.
Lipsky laughs.
LIPSKY
(re: Alanis poster)
Can you do me a favor? Can you tell
me about that poster over there?
DAVID
Alanis? I dont know, I guess I'm
susceptible like everybody else. Why?
LIPSKY
Shes pretty, alright...
DAVID
Yeah, but in a very sloppy, very human
way. That squeaky, orgasmic quality
in her voice? Heres what it is: A
lot of women in magazines are pretty
in a way that isnt erotic because
they dont look like anybody you know.
True.
LIPSKY
DAVID
You cant imagine them putting a
quarter in a parking meter or eating a
bologna sandwich. But her, I dont
know, I just find her absolutely
riveting.
LIPSKY
Howd you get to know her, her music,
I mean?
DAVID
Listening to cheesy Bloomington radio,
and I Want to Tell You came on.
LIPSKY
(correcting him) You Oughta Know.
What?
DAVID
29.
LIPSKY
I Want to Tell You is the book O.J.
Simpson wrote.
Oh, right.
DAVID
LIPSKY
Wouldnt it be great if O.J. Simpson
sang You Oughta Know and Alanis
Morissette wrote a book about not
killing two people?
They laugh.
DAVID
If somehow this whole fuss could get
me even like a five-minute cup of tea
with her...
LIPSKY
Why dont you put out feelers, see if
shed be willing to meet you?
DAVID
You serious? I would never do that.
Why not?
LIPSKY
DAVID
Id be too terrified.
do that?
LIPSKY
If I were you? Why not?
DAVID
A date with Alanis Morissette? What
would I say to her? Hello, Miss
Morissette. What is it like to be
you? (gruff voice) I dont know shut up. And get the fuck away from
me.
LIPSKY
But youd go if she called? Hey,
Dave. Im at the Drake in Chicago.
Lets have that tea.
DAVID
Yeah... except this is gonna look
ridiculous: like Im using Rolling
Stone as a vehicle to, like -
30.
LIPSKY
Its been used for worse.
DAVID
Yes, I would do it.
heartbeat.
Id go in a
LIPSKY
I dont want to impose...
41
31.
DAVID
Let me get this shit out of the way...
Hm. (re: the rumpled sheet) Might be
a good idea to change that.
Together, they put on a clean sheet.
DAVID
Uh, leave the door open for the dogs.
Oh, okay.
LIPSKY
DAVID
They like to wander from room to room
during the night; if the doors
closed, theyll eat it to get through
if they have to. Night.
Lipsky makes a move to shake his hosts hand but doesnt.
David goes. Lipsky finds himself surrounded by intimidating
stacks of domestic and foreign editions of Davids books.
41A
41A
43
44
DAVID
Theres coffee...
LIPSKY
No, thanks. I dont need caffeine to
wake up. But cigarettes...?
He lights up.
DAVID
Brothers of the lung.
A Pop-Tart pops up from the toaster.
DAVID
Want to split this with me?
last one Ive got.
Its the
44
32.
No thanks.
LIPSKY
LIPSKY
46
I mean, why
DAVID
Every time I go to New York, I get
caught up in this - theres this
enormous hiss of egos at various
stages of inflation and deflation.
Its me-me-me.
Lipsky takes out his tape recorder.
LIPSKY
So, I gotta ask: Whats with the
bandanna?
What?
DAVID
What do you mean?
LIPSKY
People think its a way youre trying
to connect with the younger reading
audience.
47
33.
DAVID
Is that what people think? I dont
know many Gen-Xers who wear em.
Jeez. I dont know what to say. I
guess I wish you hadnt brought this
up.
Why?
LIPSKY
DAVID
Because now Im worrying that its
going to seem intentional. Like if I
dont wear it, am I not wearing it
because Im bowing to other peoples
perception that its a commercial
choice? Or do I do what I want, even
though its perceived as commercial and its just like one more crazy
circle to go around.
Sorry.
them?
LIPSKY
When did you start wearing
DAVID
In Tuscon. It was a hundred degrees
all the time. I would perspire so
much... I would drip into the electric
typewriter, I was nervous I was gonna
give myself a shock. And then I
discovered that I felt better with
them on.
Uh huh.
LIPSKY
DAVID
I know its a security blanket for me whenever Im nervous. Or feel like I
have to keep myself together. It
makes me feel kinda creepy that people
view it as an affectation or a
trademark or something. Its more of
a foible, the recognition of a
weakness, that Im kinda afraid my
heads gonna explode.
Lipsky laughs.
34.
51
51
35.
LIPSKY
They were paying you to write their
papers?
DAVID
Well, I wouldn't put it that coarsely.
But let's say there were complicated
systems of reward. Id read two or
three of their papers to learn, you
know, what their music sounded like.
And I remember thinking, Man, I'm
really good at this. I'm a weird kind
of forger. I mean, I can sound kind of
like anybody.
LIPSKY
Odds are Im gonna want to talk to
your parents.
What for?
DAVID
LIPSKY
Biographical stuff.
DAVID
I hereby request that you dont.
Oh.
Okay.
LIPSKY
DAVID
Theyre real private people, and I
would have a hard time with it. So, no
you may not.
LIPSKY
(backing off) Okay.
52
I may not.
53
53
56B
36.
DAVID
Crap jobs? Lets see: I was a security
guard for this software company for
three and a half months.
Really.
LIPSKY
DAVID
I had to wear this polyester uniform,
and walk under these fluorescent
lights, twirlin my baton, checking in
every ten minutes: [mimes a walkietalkie] All clear at this cubicle!
Like, every bad '60s novel about
meaningless authority.
LIPSKY
And were you thinking, My God, I had
two books come out when I was in my
early twenties and here I am...?
DAVID
No. As a matter of fact, one reason I
liked that job is, I walked around not
thinking. In a really like, Huh:
there's a ceiling tile.
LIPSKY
And after the security guard thing?
DAVID
This is the worst: I worked as a towel
boy at this chichi health club.
LIPSKY
A towel boy?
DAVID
They called me something other than a
towel boy, but I was in effect a towel
boy. Who every once in a while was
entrusted with the job of checking
people in, having them show their i.d?
Uh huh.
LIPSKY
DAVID
Anyway, I'm sitting there, and who
should walk in to get their towel, but
this guy, this writer I knew.
37.
Who received a Whiting Writer's Award
the same year I had, like two years
earlier.
LIPSKY
Oh, shit...
DAVID
So I see this guy that I'd been up on
this fucking rostrum with, having
Eudora Welty give us this prize Oh, God!
LIPSKY
DAVID
- And two years later, I'm like It's
the only time I've literally dived
under something, to have somebody
avoid seeing me.
LIPSKY
Did you think you were done then?
DAVID
Yeah. I was pretty sure life was over.
LIPSKY
This is after your suicide watch?
David blinks.
A beat.
DAVID
Howd you know about that?
LIPSKY
I read it somewhere. McLeans, right?
How long were you there?
DAVID
Eight days, I think.
LIPSKY
Why were you there?
DAVID
Mostly 'cause I was scared I would do
something stupid. I had a friend from
high school who tried to kill himself
by sitting in a garage with the car
runnin'. And what it turned out was,
he didn't die, but it really fucked up
his brain.
38.
And I knew, that if anybody was fated
to fuck up a suicide attempt, it was
me.
LIPSKY
So there you are still in your
twenties...
DAVID
My late twenties.
LIPSKY
Your late twenties, somewhat in pain
about your desire to become a sort of
successful literary person.
DAVID
I think probably the not very
sophisticated diagnosis is that I was
depressed. 'Cause by this time, my
ego's all invested in the writing.
It's the only thing that I've gotten,
you know, food pellets from the
universe for. So I felt really
trapped: Like, Uh-oh, my five years
is up. I've gotta move on, but I don't
want to move on. I was really stuck.
And drinking was part of that. But it
wasn't that I was stuck because I
drank. It was like, I really sort of
felt like my life was over at twentyeight. And that felt really bad, and I
didn't wanna feel it. So I would do
all kinds of things: I mean, I would
drink real heavy, I would like fuck
strangers. Oh, God -- Or, then, for
two weeks I wouldn't drink, and I'd
run ten miles every morning, in a
desperate, like very American, I will
fix this somehow, by taking radical
action sort of thing.
LIPSKY
And here you are, promoting this
acclaimed book. Not bad.
DAVID
David. This [the interview] is nice.
This is not real.
They look at one another.
39.
58
DAVID
Just as I pictured.
Its
DAVID
(in explanation) We only just met.
Hes writing a piece on the tour.
Should we get going?
PATTY
Yes, come on, come on...
As they exit:
DAVID
How was your morning, Patty...
58
40.
PATTY
Good. How about you guys?
alright?
59
The flight
DAVID
PATTY
Do you want me to stop?
No, no.
DAVID
PATTY
Everybody who comes here, the first
thing they want to see is where did
Mary Tyler Moore throw her cap in the
air? One of our biggest attractions.
You sure you dont want me to stop?
DAVID
Im sure. Thanks, anyway.
(sotto, to Lipsky)
Trust me: This is about as sexy as the
tour gets.
Lipsky laughs.
59
41.
61
61
Mr. ...
Lipsky.
LIPSKY
L-I-P, S-K-Y.
Excuse me?
62
62
DAVID
See ya later. Im gonna take a nap.
We follow Lipsky in the opposite direction to his.
63A
BOBS VOICE
Thats your story.
42.
LIPSKY
Its hard.
Okay.
Why?
BOBS VOICE
Because you like him?
LIPSKY
Well... Yeah.
David.
Okay.
BOBS VOICE
Youve got to press him.
LIPSKY
BOBS VOICE
Be a prick if you have to. Youre not
his best buddy, youre a reporter.
I know.
LIPSKY
Right. Bye.
Introductions, handshakes.
DAVID
This is David Lipsky.
Rolling Stone.
JULIE
Oh, wow, hi.
DAVID
This is Julie...
A reporter from
64
43.
Hi, Julie.
LIPSKY
DAVID
And this is Betsy.
Hi.
BETSY
LIPSKY
Nice to meet you.
DAVID
Betsy and I went to grad school
together, in Tucson.
LIPSKY
Nice. (to Julie)
David?
DAVID
She wrote me a fan letter.
JULIE
I did, I was the books editor at City
Pages and I wrote him a fan letter,
thats right.
DAVID
Julie has worked with a whole lot of
writers JULIE
So Im discriminating.
DAVID
Exactly. And we discovered that we
actually kind of like each other as
people.
Indeed.
JULIE
DAVID
Thats how I met Jon Franzen: I wrote
him a fan letter. Writers are
pushovers when it comes to flattery.
You could try it sometime.
66
66
44.
MARTHA CAVENAUGH, the shop manager, a robust earth-mother who
loves books and her job, offers cookies to Julie, Betsy,
Lipsky and Patty while David looks over his reading
selection.
MARTHA
You sure I cant get you something to
drink?
DAVID
Do you have any artificial spit?
Everyone laughs, perhaps a little too heartily.
DAVID
No, its an actual pharmaceutical
product. Zero-Lube.
LIPSKY
Artificial saliva?
Really?
DAVID
Yeah, but its way better cause it
lubricates. You dont get that clicky
sound you do with dry mouth.
He demonstrates.
MARTHA
Ill have to remember that.
DAVID
Next tour, I bring a case.
MARTHA
In the meantime, what can I get you?
Water?
DAVID
No ice?
LIPSKY
45.
BETSY
Just got my first poem published in
the Kenyon Review.
Really!
LIPSKY
Wow! Congratulations!
66A
On the move:
DAVID
I dont mean to be a prima donna, but
Id really prefer it if we didnt have
a Q & A.
MARTHA
Of course. Whatever you feel most
comfortable with.
DAVID
Its always stuff like Where do you
get your ideas? (to Lipsky) From a
Time-Life subscription series for
$17.95 a month.
Lipsky and Martha laugh.
MARTHA
Its show time!
Martha goes to the podium.
DAVID
(to Lipsky) Its all downhill from
here.
MARTHA
This is the very last stop on his book
tour and were very lucky to have him!
Ladies and gentlemen... Would you
welcome to the Hungry Mind... David.
Foster. Wallace!
The packed audience applauds enthusiastically.
watches as David approaches the podium.
66D
Lipsky
66D
46.
DAVID
There you go.
The young woman looks at it with bemusement.
YOUNG WOMAN
What is that supposed to be, a
computer?
What?
No.
DAVID
Its a smiley face. See?
YOUNG WOMAN
Ohhh...
DAVID
If you want, I could put Wite-Out over
it...
YOUNG WOMAN
Thats okay.
You sure?
DAVID
Its your book...
DAVID
That old thing?
NERDY GUY
Do you mind...?
DAVID
Eh, the new ones better.
The guy plunks down a copy of Infinite Jest, too.
DAVID
Now were talkin.
The guy laughs as David sees Lipsky laughing with Julie and
Betsy and is threatened by it. Lipsky sees David looking at
them and smiles; David ominously doesnt return the smile.
He turns instead to the next customer.
DAVID
Whos next?
47.
67
67
48.
JULIE
Well get you back to the hotel.
They settle up the check.
LIPSKY
I will get the check.
me.
This one is on
DAVID
Well, its on Jann.
Jann?
JULIE
DAVID
Jann is his boss.
JULIE
Mr. Rolling Stone.
68
BETSY
Hypothermia smoking tour.
that!
I love
LIPSKY
Oh, thank you.
BETSY
Sounds like something Dave would say.
DAVID
(to himself) Doesnt it.
David doesnt like that Lipsky amused his friends with a DFWlike joke - and Lipsky senses tension.
68
49.
69
69
DAVID
Im hungry.
Still?
70
LIPSKY
LIPSKY
Why is that?
50.
DAVID
I think pretty girls are what we most
sort of dream and despair of ever
having, of ever paying attention to
you. And there they are, in the front
row, making eyes at you.
LIPSKY
I think my girlfriend is in love you.
DAVID
No shes not.
LIPSKY
I think she is. I think she likes
your writing more than she likes mine.
Its getting kind of annoying.
DAVID
Get her on the phone.
LIPSKY
No, shes probably sleeping anyway.
A beat.
Please?
71
DAVID
SARAHS VOICE
(over the phone) Hello?
LIPSKY
Hi.
Hi!
SARAHS VOICE
Hows it going?
Its fine.
LIPSKY
Did I wake you up?
SARAHS VOICE
No, Im up reading Infinite Jest.
Its pretty amazing.
LIPSKY
Good. Listen: Somebody wants to say
hello. Hold on a sec.
71
51.
He hands the receiver to David.
DAVID
(whispers to Lipsky)
again?
Sarah.
LIPSKY
DAVID
Hi. Its Dave Wallace.
Hes livid.
52.
LIPSKY
You were on the phone with him for
like a half hour!
SARAHS VOICE
It wasnt a half hour...
LIPSKY
It was! It was twenty-five minutes; I
timed it! You were only supposed to
say hello!
73
LIPSKY
Escorts waiting. We gotta go.
74
Lipsky and David, with his shower-wet hair pinned up, find
Pattys car out front. They get in the backseat.
PATTY
Youre wearing that?
DAVID
For a radio interview?
75
Yes.
75
53.
76
Dave.
DAVID
Dave Wallace.
P.A.
(blushes)
I know who you are.
David introduces Lipsky.
DAVID
My amanuensis, Mr. Boswell.
The P.A. shakes Lipskys hand, playing along with the joke.
P.A.
(in greeting)
Mr. Boswell. Right this way.
She leads David, followed by Lipsky, down a corridor past
glass-walled studios. Lipsky sees people recognize David,
whisper among themselves. Young women smile shyly, excited
to be in the presence of a cool celebrity.
P.A.
We record digitally. I hope thats OK.
DAVID
So only yes or no answers?
She rolls her eyes.
in his pad.
DAVID
If you do a really mean job, I have
twenty years to get you back.
Remember that.
76A
76A
54.
Jay McInerney called it something
like a sleek Vonnegut chassis wrapped
in layers of post-millennial Zola.
David Foster Wallace, welcome to our
show.
DAVID
Thank you, glad to be here.
He exchanges looks with Lipsky outside the booth.
NPR GUY
You have said that you saw yourself as
- quote - a combination of being
incredibly shy, and being an
egomaniac, too.
DAVID
I think I said exhibitionist, also.
Meaning?
NPR GUY
77
55.
PATTY
So, you have the rest of the day free.
Where would you like to go?
DAVID
Do you know where the Mall of America
is?
79
80
College kids?
DAVID
The people who seem most enthusiastic
are young men. Which I guess I can
understand - its a fairly male book,
a fairly nerdy book, about loneliness.
You can expect that somebody who's
willing to read and read hard a
thousand-page book is gonna be
somebody with some loneliness issues.
LIPSKY
You think its about loneliness?
80
56.
DAVID
I think if there is sort of a sadness
for people under forty-five or
something, it has to do with pleasure
and achievement and entertainment.
And a kind of emptiness at heart of
what they thought was going on, that
maybe I can hope that parts of the
book will speak to their nerve endings
a little bit.
He presses stop on the tape recorder, surprising Lipsky.
DAVID (CONTD)
By the way, if you quote any of this,
youd do me a favor if youd say that
Im talking about what I hope for the
book, or what the book is tryin to
do, I dont pretend that it has. Okay?
LIPSKY
Thats fine.
Lipsky presses play.
LIPSKY
So: the Walter Kirn review, in New
York Magazine DAVID
Didnt read it. I mean, I heard.
LIPSKY
Next years book awards have been
decided kind of thing? Howd it feel?
DAVID
I applauded his taste and discernment.
What do you want me to say? How would
you feel about it?
LIPSKY
How would I feel? That Id known all
along it was good, and here was
someone validating that.
DAVID
All I know is, this is absolutely the
best I could do between like 1992 and
1995. And if everybody hated it, I
wouldnt be thrilled, but I dont
think Id be devastated, either.
57.
Its like, if youre used to doing
heavy-duty literary stuff that doesnt
sell well, being human animals with
egos, we find a way to accommodate
that fact by the following equation:
If it sells really well and gets a lot
of attention, it must be shit. Then,
of course, the ultimate irony is: if
your thing gets a lot of attention and
sells really well, then the very
mechanism youve used to shore
yourself up when your stuff didnt
sell well is now part of the Darkness
Nexus when it does, so youre screwed.
You cant win.
Lipsky is laughing.
81
81
BETSY
Oh, my God, this place is insane!
JULIE
I cant believe we actually found you!
81A
BETSY
Happy Gilmore?
JULIE
No, thats Adam Sandler.
DAVID
Ooo, Broken Arrow! Perfect dumb boy
movie. Things that blow up!
LIPSKY
Ive already seen it, but...
81A
58.
DAVID
Youve already seen it? Boy, you are
a man from my own heart, arent you.
LIPSKY
I dont mind, Ill see it again...
BETSY
Ill see anything.
DAVID
We can see something else...
82
82
83
83
Julie, Betsy, David and Lipsky file out after the movie.
Improv post-movie discussion.
DAVID
Wasnt that a cool shot at the end,
when Travolta gets impaled by the
thing?
JULIE
What do we do now?
DAVID
Do you have a T.V.?
Uh huh.
84
JULIE
I do.
They sit
84
59.
LIPSKY
The guy playing Leno?
DAVID
No, the guy playing Letterman.
JULIE
How do you know him?
DAVID
Went to Amherst with him.
LIPSKY
Friend of yours?
DAVID
I hated his guts.
Laughter. Lipsky gets up to go to the kitchen which is
visible from the living room.
LIPSKY
Does anyone want drinks or anything?
(calls)
JULIE
Theres also beer.
LIPSKY
Sodas fine, thank you.
(to David)
JULIE
Why did you hate him?
DAVID
He was just very cool and popular and
I was not, that was the basic offense.
Betsy gets something out of her bag and joins Lipsky in the
kitchen.
Hey.
Hey!
BETSY
LIPSKY
BETSY
I brought you something.
LIPSKY
You brought me something?
She gives him a copy of the Kenyon Review.
60.
Oh, great!
Thank you!
LIPSKY
This has your poem in it!
JULIE
DAVID
Its one of the greats. And Hedy
Lamarr is fascinating. She invented
frequency hopping.
David sees Lipsky and Betsy talking and doesnt like it.
Back to the kitchen.
LIPSKY
Hey, when I get back to New York, you
mind if I e-mailed you with questions
about what Dave was like in grad
school and stuff?
BETSY
Sure, if its okay with Dave.
LIPSKY
Im sure its fine with Dave.
have your e-mail address?
Sure.
Can I
BETSY
61.
DAVID
I saw you hitting on Betsy.
LIPSKY
Hitting on...? I was talking to her.
DAVID
David, I saw you!
you her address.
LIPSKY
Her e-mail address. In case I had
questions, about the piece I am
writing about you.
DAVID
Well, I dont want her talking to you.
Fine!
LIPSKY
I wont contact her.
DAVID
I told you she and I dated when we
were in grad school... The least you
can do is show me the respect of not
coming on to her right in front of me.
LIPSKY
Dave, Im sorry if it looked that way.
That was not my intention. Besides,
why would I want to get involved with
somebody who lives in St. Paul?
DAVID
Youre already involved with somebody
who lives in Los Angeles...
David is glaring at him when we hear:
JULIE (O.S.)
Are you okay?
DAVID
(calls)
Everythings fine. Thank you.
(to Lipsky)
Just stay away from her. Okay?
good guy.
David goes back to the women.
DAVID (O.S.)
Whatd I miss?
Be a
62.
Once he catches his breath, Lipsky, breaking solidarity with
Davids abstinence, gets a beer out of the fridge and
pointedly, while making eye contact with David, pops open the
can and defiantly takes a slug.
86
86
87
87
87A
87A
DAVID
LIPSKY
Thats all right, my expense
accountll cover it.
DAVID
So will mine. I got it, I said.
Lipsky relents.
88
89
88
LIPSKY
Good night.
63.
SARAHS VOICE
(over phone)
Were you flirting?
LIPSKY
No! Sarah, I swear to you: He just
completely went bonkers on me.
SARAHS VOICE
You do that, David, you know?
not even aware of it.
Youre
LIPSKY
What do I do?
SARAHS VOICE
Youre compulsively flirtatious.
LIPSKY
I cant believe youre taking his
side!
I am not!
SARAHS VOICE
LIPSKY
Yes you are. Listen, I think Im just
really tired. I gotta go.
David?
SARAHS VOICE
David...?
He hangs up.
91
64.
She makes room for Lipsky who gets into the passenger seat.
Patty continues yammering but Lipsky tunes her out. The car
pulls away.
92
92
93
They
LIPSKY
DAVID
You didnt think to write down where
we parked the car?
Lipsky is cold, feeling vulnerable, fighting tears.
LIPSKY
No. I didnt, okay? Sorry! I fucked
up. Im a fuck-up. Not everyone can
be as brilliant as you.
DAVID
What is with you?
LIPSKY
What the fuck is with you?
They get into the car.
94
94
65.
LIPSKY
I gotta say... Theres something
basically false about your approach
here.
DAVID
What do you mean false?
LIPSKY
I think its part of your whole social
strategy.
DAVID
In what way?
LIPSKY
You still feel youre smarter than
other people.
DAVID
Oh, really?
LIPSKY
Yeah but you act like youre in the
kids softball game, but holding back
your power-hitting, to try to make it
more competitive for the little ones.
When?
DAVID
LIPSKY
Here, now, for the past three days,
its part of your social strategy.
DAVID
Youre a tough room, you know that?
LIPSKY
You make a point of holding back theres something obvious about you
holding back your intelligence, to be
with people who are younger or maybe
not as agile as you are...
DAVID
That would make me a real asshole,
wouldnt it? I dont think writers
are any smarter than other people. I
think they may be more compelling in
their stupidity, or in their
confusion.
66.
But I think one of the true ways that
I have gotten smarter is, Ive
realized that Im not much smarter
than other people.
LIPSKY
Yeah, right.
DAVID
There are ways in which other people
are a lot smarter than me. Like, I
dont know, it makes me feel kinda
lonely...
What.
LIPSKY
DAVID
Theres certain stuff Ive told you
thats really true and, frankly, I
think its been brave of me.
LIPSKY
Absolutely.
DAVID
Ive written enough of these pieces
to know that you could present this in
a hundred different ways. Ninety of
which Im really gonna come off as a
monumental asshole. But it seems like
your read of this is, Huh: what an
interesting persona Dave is adopting
for the purposes of this interview.
LIPSKY
Thats not what Im saying.
DAVID
If wed done this interview through
the mail? And I had access to a
library, and could look stuff up?
My dream would be for you to write
this up, send it to me, and I get to
rewrite all my quotes - which of
course youll never do. When Im in a
room by myself, alone, and have enough
time, I can be really really smart.
Dont get me wrong: I think Im
bright; I think Im talented. I dont
mean to sound disingenuous.
(amused)
LIPSKY
Oh, no?!
67.
DAVID
I am not an idiot. I mean, you know,
I can talk intelligently with you
about stuff. But I cant quite keep
up with you.
LIPSKY
That is such bullshit.
DAVID
Believe me: Im not just Aw-shucks,
Im just in from the country, Im not
a real writer, Im just a regular
guy. Im not trying to lay some kind
of shit. And Im LIPSKY
You just did it again! You flatter
me, but are you just being
patronizing?
DAVID
I just think to look across the room
and automatically assume that somebody
else is less aware than me, or that
somehow their interior life is less
rich, and complicated, and acutely
perceived than mine, makes me not as
good a writer.
Why?
LIPSKY
DAVID
Because that means I'm going to be
performing for a faceless audience,
instead of trying to have a
conversation with a person. If you
think that's faux, then you think what
you want. I've got a serious fear of
being a certain way. And a set I think
of like, real convictions about why
I'm continuing to do this, why it's
worthwhile. Why it's not just an
exercise in basically getting my dick
sucked. And, you know what?, this is a
very clever tactic of yours:
LIPSKY
Tactic, what tactic?
DAVID
Get me a little pissed off, a little
less guarded, Im gonna reveal more.
68.
Yes, it's true: I treasure my regularguy-ness; I've started to think it's
my biggest asset as a writer, that I'm
pretty much just like everybody else.
(A beat.)
You know what? Im not doing any kind
of faux thing with you; I'm not gonna
say it again.
LIPSKY
Okay, but the faux thing - what you
just said - is an example of the faux
thing. You don't want to take the
risk of giving the full you.
DAVID
Look, I dont know if youre a very
nice man or not. Its very clear that
you dont believe a word Ive said.
LIPSKY
All your protesting... Im just a
regular guy. You dont crack open a
thousand-page book cause you heard
the authors a regular guy. You read
it because the author is brilliant.
Because you want him to be brilliant.
So who the fuck are you kidding?
DAVID
I dont have the brain cells left to
play any kind of faux games with
you.
Fine.
LIPSKY
95
96
69.
DAVID
Tours over.
LIPSKY
Just hit you?
DAVID
Yeah. Im gonna have to feel all this
now, instead of just sleepwalk through
it.
LIPSKY
What do you mean by sleepwalk?
DAVID
Ive kind of unplugged myself for the
last three weeks. Meeting a whole lot
of new people, having to do things,
youre in a constant low-level state
of anxiety. And sort of deep,
existential, you know: fear, that you
feel kind of all the way down to your
butthole.
LIPSKY
What are you afraid of? I mean,
whats the worst thing that could
possibly happen?
DAVID
The worst? That Ill really get to
like it. Thats the worst.
LIPSKY
The attention?
Uh huh.
DAVID
LIPSKY
(nods, then)
And what would be so wrong about that?
DAVID
Become one of these hideous: Yet
another publication party, and Hey,
theres Dave sticking his head in the
back of the photo. Id rather be
dead.
Why?
LIPSKY
70.
DAVID
I dont want to be seen that way.
Why, would you?
LIPSKY
Well, if youre deriving your
satisfaction from talking about your
work, as opposed to writing, then,
yeah, I guess youd get a lot less
done.
DAVID
Exactly. And theres nothing more
grotesque than somebody whos going
around, Im a writer, Im a writer,
Im a writer.
Is that a dig at Lipsky?
DAVID
I dont mind appearing in Rolling
Stone, but I dont want to appear in
Rolling Stone as somebody who wants to
be in Rolling Stone. If you see me
like, you know, a guest on a game show
in a couple of years...
Lipsky laughs.
Pause.
DAVID
To have written a book about how
seductive image is, and how many ways
there are to get seduced off any kind
of meaningful path, because of the way
the culture is now...? What if I
become this parody of that very thing?
Lipsky looks at David, who stares straight ahead, his eyes
maybe filling with tears.
DAVID
Tomorrow, you drive away, get on a
plane, this is over. And Im back to
knowing like twenty people. Then Im
going to have to like decompress from
getting all this attention. Because
its like getting heroin injected into
your cortex.
That registers with Lipsky.
71.
DAVID (CONTD)
And where Im going to need real balls
is to be able to sit and go through
that. And try to remind myself that
what the reality is: that Im thirtyfour years old, and Im alone in a
room with a piece of paper.
They drive in silence.
97
LIPSKY
Uh. Hey. So, Im leaving tomorrow
and, Ive got to ask you about this
rumor...
DAVID
Is this the heroin thing?
thing again?
Yeah.
LIPSKY
The heroin
97
72.
DAVID
It isnt true. What is so hard for
you to believe?
LIPSKY
The reason it is so hard to believe is
because there is so much about drugs
and addiction in the book...
DAVID
That doesnt mean its
autobiographical, the drug stuff in
the book is basically a metaphor.
Look at you. You dont fucking
believe a word Im saying, do you.
LIPSKY
I didnt say that.
DAVID
I was not, I never was a heroin
addict.
LIPSKY
Okay. The rumor I heard... was that
in the late 80s, when you were at
Harvard, you'd gotten involved with
drugs and had some kind of
breakdown...
DAVID
I don't know if I had a breakdown, I
got really really depressed. I told
you that. It had nothing to do with
drugs. I mean, I'm somebody who spent
most of his life in libraries. I never
lived that kind of dangerous life. I
wouldn't even stick a needle into my
arm.
LIPSKY
Okay, so how do you think that rumor
got started?
DAVID
I have no idea! I have no idea.
LIPSKY
Alright... Calm down...
73.
DAVID
To tell you truly, if you structured
this as some and then he spiraled
into some terrible addiction thing,
it would be inaccurate. It was more
like, I got more and more unhappy. The
more unhappy I would get, the more I
would drink. There was no joy in the
drinking. I used it for anesthesia.
Okay?
LIPSKY
Okay. What kind of drinker were you?
Were you a falling-down drinker? A
waking-up-in-the-curb drinker?
DAVID
No, I was not! Okay? Part of my
reticence about this whole thing is
that it won't make very good copy for
you. Because, no, I was not like that
at all!
LIPSKY
You did agree to this interview.
DAVID
I know that I did.
LIPSKY
Alright, I'm not gonna push much
further.
DAVID
I'm also aware that some addictions
are sexier than others. My primary
addiction my entire life has been to
television. I told you that. Now,
television addiction is of far less
interest to your readers than
something like heroin, that confirms
the mythos of the writer LIPSKY
A myth I do not believe, okay?
DAVID
I know you don't believe that. Im
also aware that one of the things
swirling around here is you want the
best fucking article you can have!
74.
Why dont you write whatever the fuck
you want, but the fact of the matter
is, it was not a Lost Weekend sort of
thing. Nor was it some lurid, romantic
writer-as-alcoholic-sort-of-thing.
What it was, was a 28-year-old person
who exhausted a couple other ways to
live, really taken them to their
conclusion. Which for me was a pink
room, with a drain in the center of
the floor. Which is where they put me
for an entire day when they thought I
was going to kill myself. Where you
dont have anything on, and somebodys
observing you through a slot in the
wall. And when that happens to you,
you become tremendously...
unprecedentedly willing to examine
some other alternatives for how to
live.
David looks at him for a moment. He walks out of the room,
leaving Lipsky behind, his head reeling. Lipsky presses stop
on the tape recorder.
100
100
101
DAVID
LIPSKY
DAVID
I was just thinking... It wasn't a
chemical imbalance, and it wasn't
drugs and alcohol. It was much more
that I had lived an incredibly
American life. That, If I could just
achieve X and Y and Z, everything
would be OK.
(A beat.)
75.
There's a thing in the book: when
people jump out of a burning
skyscraper, it's not that they're not
afraid of falling anymore, it's that
the alternative is so awful. And then
you're invited to consider what could
be so awful, that leaping to your
death seems like an escape from it. I
don't know if you've had any
experience with this kind of thing.
But it's worse than any kind of
physical injury. It may be what in
the old days was known as a spiritual
crisis. Feeling as though every axiom
of your life turned out to be false,
and there was actually nothing, and
you were nothing, and it was all a
delusion. And that you were better
than everyone else because you saw
that it was a delusion, and yet you
were worse because you can't fucking
function. And its really horrible.
(A beat.)
I dont think we ever change. Im
sure there are still those same parts
of me. Ive just got to find a way
not to let them drive. Yknow?
(A beat.)
Well, anyway... Good night.
LIPSKY
Good night.
David goes. Lipsky, his eyes moist, scrambles to get his pad
and scribbles notes so he wont forget David at his most
revealing.
102
103
102
103
Lipsky heads for the bathroom just as David emerges from it.
Morning.
104
LIPSKY
104
David and Lipsky are out on a wintry field, walking the dogs.
76.
DAVID
Jeeves, Drone, come! You get
instantaneous production from the
Jeevester; Drones a much tougher nut.
LIPSKY
Beautiful out here.
DAVID
You should see: in the spring, when
the wind blows, you can see ripples,
its like water. Its like the ocean,
except its real green. I mean, it
really is. Calm, real pretty.
(Pause.) Hungry?
LIPSKY
You know me.
They turn back toward the house.
DAVID
You should get going.
LIPSKY
Yeah. Let me take you someplace nice
this time. Remember, its on Jann.
106
106
Lipsy and David emerge. David tucks into the takeout bag.
DAVID
Sorry, I cant wait, Im suddenly
starving, I gotta eat something.
David picks pickles off his bacon double cheeseburger.
LIPSKY
You dont like pickles.
DAVID
Oh, come on. Now the whole world will
know what my mothers known for years:
Im a picky eater?
He takes a bite.
107
107
77.
DAVID
Jeeves, sit! You see, Jeeves gets
very obedient when food is around.
You sit, Drone. It should be clear by
now that youre not getting any of
this.
Drone sits.
DAVID
Good dog! There you go, thatta boy.
(to Lipsky) Dont leave food within
their reach - they will eat it.
Lipsky takes a note.
DAVID
Youre not gonna make me look like one
of those insane old women who talk to
their dogs, are you?
LIPSKY
Dont worry.
DAVID
I am worried: my dogsll be offended.
LIPSKY
Your dogs are not gonna read it.
Drone playfully nudges Lipsky to the floor.
DAVID
Wow - hes never taken to a male like
hes taken to you.
LIPSKY
Really?
DAVID
Except for me, of course.
The phone rings.
Hold this?
Sure.
DAVID
LIPSKY
Oh, hey.
78.
He turns away from Lipsky and lowers his voice but Lipsky can
still hear him.
DAVID
Yeah, I would like to. I cant right
now. Ive got this guy here.
Lipsky is stung: After all the intimacy they shared, Lipsky
is just this guy.
DAVID
The Rolling Stone guy. Yeah. Well, he
should be leaving pretty soon. Can I
just meet you there? Okay? Great.
See you there. Bye.
He hangs up.
LIPSKY
I should get out of here, let you get
on with your life.
DAVID
Just this friend. This dance I like
to go to, with this friend.
You dance?
LIPSKY
DAVID
Uh huh. Ive just discovered in the
last few years that I really like it.
Although Im still not very good.
LIPSKY
What kind of dancing?
DAVID
I tend to do the Jerk, the Swim,
cheesy 70s disco.
Really?
LIPSKY
DAVID
The nice thing about Bloomington?
Youre completely hip if you do that.
LIPSKY
Where do you go, a club?
DAVID
This Baptist church.
79.
Lipsky cant tell if David is serious.
Why there?
LIPSKY
DAVID
Because Baptists can dance.
Wow.
LIPSKY
Dancing.
DAVID
I will not Vogue.
CUT TO:
108
108
Well, I should
DAVID
And I should start carving an ice
sculpture out of my car. Its like
Antarctica.
David grabs his coat and gloves and goes outside. Soon we
hear the sound of David scraping ice off his car, which is
heard throughout the following:
109
80.
Lipsky goes from room to room, as if memorizing this time and
place, softly describing what he sees into his recorder.
LIPSKY
(into the device) Dog stuff. Throw
toys, chew toys. Crap stains on
carpet. Shark doll on bookcase.
American flag. Alanis. Coal-burning
fireplace. Brick wall. Fake woodpaneling. Soda cans. Lots of em.
Diet Rite. Looks like a frat; the
bookish frat. Botticelli calendar:
Birth of Venus. Wooden chess set.
Postcard of Updike. Cartoon:
Comparative anatomy: Brains - Male,
Female, Dog.
110
110
LIPSKY (CONTD)
Barney towel used as curtain. Photo
of German philosophers. Photo collage
of his family, the kind kids put in
their dorm rooms. His sister is
pretty, looks like a female him.
Clothes everywhere: sneakers, stuff on
the floor, clothes draped over stuff.
111
111
LIPSKY (CONTD)
Padded toilet seat, looks like a rug.
Postcards: Baboons. Clintons. St.
Ignatius quote: Lord teach me to be
generous. / Teach me to serve you as
you deserve; / to give and not to
count the cost... / to toil and not to
seek for rest / to labor and not to
ask for reward, / save that of knowing
that I do your will.
112A
112A
Lipsky sees the door to Davids office, ajar for the first
time. He pushes his way in and discovers a darkened room. He
looks around quietly, barely breathing, sees the partially
illuminated keyboard and computer. He goes to the closed
drapes, pushes them aside and squints as he takes in the
brilliant snowy field.
81.
112
112
Why?
DAVID
I gotta get a new one but I cant junk
this.
Why not?
LIPSKY
DAVID
Its my friend.
Ah.
LIPSKY
Pause.
LIPSKY
Hey, David, I, uh...
Lipsky shyly presents David with a copy of his book.
Wow.
DAVID
Just happened to have it on you?
LIPSKY
I debated whether or not I should I do
this.
113
82.
Why not?
DAVID
LIPSKY
I dont know, you dont think this is
like some kid-brother sort of thing to
do?
DAVID
No. Thanks, man, I look forward to
reading it.
LIPSKY
Youre welcome. I wrote my address
and e-mail on the flyleaf.
DAVID
Ill read it soon as Im done with the
Heinlein and Ill send you a note.
Great.
LIPSKY
Thanks.
83.
DAVID
Cause my own experience is that
thats not so. The more people think
that youre really good, actually the
bigger the fear of being a fraud is.
The worst thing about having a lot of
attention paid to you, is that youre
afraid of bad attention. If bad
attention hurts you, then the calibre
of the weapon thats pointed at you
has gone way up. Like from a .22 to a
.45. But theres a part of me that
wants a lot of attention. And that
thinks Im really good, and wants
other people to see it. Its one of
the ways I think were sort of alike,
you know?
Uh huh.
LIPSKY
Pause.
LIPSKY
(in farewell) Well...
Lipskys awkward attempt at a hug - unreciprocated by David turns into a clumsy handshake. Lipsky gets into the car.
David stands at his window.
DAVID
Im not so sure you want to be me.
I dont?
LIPSKY
DAVID
(A beat. He smiles.)
Send my best to Jann.
David shuts the door. Lipsky starts the car and pulls away
while David returns to scraping his car.
115
115
84.
116
116
117
117
118
119
119A
119A
85.
120
120
123
DAVID
Lipsky goes, leaving David with the tape running. This time,
instead of following Lipsky, we break form and stay on David:
DAVID
(into the recorder) Now its just me
and the tape recorder sittin here.
Drones lookin at the floor, Im
smokin, having said I wasnt going to
smoke, Im smokin. Just me and your
your tape recorder.
The SCREEN GOES WHITE.