Copyright 1994 Carolyn Gage

Originally published in off our backs, April 1994.

INVITATION TO A TRASHING

I have just had the privilege of attending the trashing of one of the most prominent Lesbian

writers and editors in the world. And what a trashing it was! It leaves me breathless to

think about it! The disruption of the evening's format, the blazing denunciations from the

stage, the manipulation of the shocked audience - and, most unforgettable - the pain,

confusion, and humiliation of the author herself.

This was not your ordinary trashing. This was a championship trashing. The trashee had

survived thirty years of trashings: trashings by hets, trashings by academics, trashings by

gaymen and bisexual women, trashings by non-separatist women - violent trashings,

passive aggressive trashings, in-house trashings, international trashings... Survived all of

these to publish the world's first anthology of Lesbian culture - for which she has yet to see

any money. And here she was, in a major city, on a book tour she partially financed

herself, for the sake of the pride she took in the work and the measure of recognition she

might expect to receive for such a massive labor of love.

So she had made it through all the elimination trials to make it to the final round, where her

book would be trashed in a room full of other Lesbian writers by one of the very contributors

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to the anthology! No, ma'am, this was not your ordinary Saturday night, small-town potluck

trashing. This was a grandmama of them all, a trashing to out-trash all trashings. It was

the trashing of a lifetime which would result in the author's retirement from thirty years of

Lesbian activism.

But it is not my purpose here to narrate the circumstances of that infamous evening. I

confronted the dynamic and walked out. Let others tell what happened. I want to talk about

trashing as a means of social control. I want us all to spend a little time considering this

phenomenon, how it works, how we respond to it, and maybe - just maybe - give some

thought to what we will do the next time it happens. Because it will.

A DEFINITION OF TRASHING

Trashing is "a particularly vicious form of character assassination which amounts to

psychological rape. It is manipulative, dishonest, excessive. It is occasionally disguised by

the rhetoric of honest conflict, or covered up by denying that any disapproval exists at all.

But it is not done to expose disagreements or resolve differences. It is done to disparage

and destroy."1

WHO TO TRASH

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A WOMAN WHO IS ACHIEVING THINGS: Otherwise, what's the point?

A WOMAN WHO IS DEEPLY CONSCIENTIOUS: A conscientious woman is more likely to

indulge in soul-searching than in self-defense. This is highly desirable.

A WOMAN WHO BELIEVES IN COMMUNITY: "Community" does not really exist, but the

woman who believes in it, will bare her soul to conference rooms full of strangers, will

attempt dialogue with blatant agitators, and will plead her case with anonymous readers of

publications - in every instance digging a deeper grave for herself. Again, very desirable.

A WOMAN WHO MAKES MISTAKES: You've got to catch her in a real mistake, but

fortunately nobody's perfect.

A WOMAN WHOSE OPPRESSION IS NOT VISIBLE: DO NOT trash a woman of color, a

woman with a visible disability, or an old woman. Depending on the level of achievement

and the quality of their mistake, you may succeed in trashing a fat woman, a diabetic

woman, a working class woman - as long as she is white. This was the case in the trashing

I witnessed. (Note: Separatists make excellent targets. Chances are, nobody will be in

their corner.) Trashing rich women is not advisable, but then most trashers seem to know

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this.

A WOMAN WHO IS UNDERPAID: This is not essential, but it helps, because the woman

whose achievements are not remunerated financially is generally very hungry for

recognition and appreciation. This raises the stakes for her at the trashing, which makes

for better sport - much as not feeding the bear will enhance the bear-baiting.

A WOMAN WHO HAS OPPOSED THE TRASHING OF OTHERS: Get her. She's out to

ruin the sport.

HOW TO PARTICIPATE IN A TRASHING

COVERT PARTICIPATION: Validate the trasher's action by addressing the issue, instead

of the abusive dynamic. You can do this by defending the trashee to the trasher. Very safe.

You get to look loyal, but you're really right on the trasher's agenda.

OVERT PARTICIPATION: Just sit there and say nothing. You can pretend you're not

involved.

HOW NOT TO PARTICIPATE IN A TRASHING

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Speak out! Confront the abusive dynamic of the trasher, name the specific behaviors,

demand that trasher stop or be removed, and if the trashing continues in any form, leave. If

enough women did this, trashing as we know it would become extinct. Fortunately,

trashers have established a well-known precedent for trashing women who threaten to

remove them (patriarchal collaborators), trashing women who insist on sticking to the

agenda (classist, racist, ableist, etc.), trashing women who object to disrespectful and

violent action (classist and/or collaborationist), and trashing women who walk out (avoiding

the issue, protecting their privilege).

HOW TO TRASH A WOMAN

1) PICK A PUBLIC FORUM. Trashing requires mobilization of public opinion, which is why

you can't trash in a one-on-one confrontation. Besides, one-on-one means the possibility of

there being dialogue. Dialogue runs directly counter to the objectives of trashing.

2) DO NOT WARN THE TRASHEE. The element of surprise is very important. If she has

had time to prepare for the issue, to arrange her arguments, to strategize - well, it puts her

on equal footing with you, the trasher. And if you could hold your own as her equal, you

wouldn't need to resort to trashing in the first place.

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3) OUTNUMBER HER. Very important. If she is allowed an equal number of supporters,

again we are talking productive dialogue - and that is not going to ruin anybody's reputation.

Keep your eye on your goals. Just because she may believe you are serious about the

issues you raise, as the trasher you have a responsibility to keep you eye on your real

purpose: the trashing.

4) DISRUPT. Storm the stage, seize the podium, rise in the audience and challenge the

performers, or - if you are a legitimate presenter - deliver something that is not part of the

program. Surprise always gives you an unfair advantage, and unfair advantage is the

name of the game. There is an additional edge if you are trashing in front of a group of

women: Aggressive disruptions will trigger dissociative states for many women who are

survivors. They will numb out, go into shock, or become desperately invested in showing

solidarity with anyone who even looks like they have the potential to become violent - and

that's you, sister.

5) FOCUS ON THE FLAW! Take it out of context. Do not put it in perspective. Amplify,

magnify, distort! Use hyperbole, use rhetoric, make inflammatory associations. If the

speaker, organizer, or writer has made an ignorant or insensitive mistake, don't hesitate to

characterize it as deliberate! Assume that she identifies with her mistake, that it represents

an underlying agenda of virulent racism, classism, ableism, etc. Create a worst-case

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scenario. The transcripts of the McCarthy hearings may provide some useful pointers.

6) BE GENUINELY OUTRAGED. If you can spontaneously dissociate, or self-hypnotize,

so much the better! You will be very persuasive. A woman registering powerful emotion

has a very good shot at triggering survivors or co-dependents - even if the emotion is not

appropriate to the circumstances. In fact, the more inappropriate, the better the trigger.

Make it look as if the trashee has been inaccessible or unresponsive to your concerns,

leaving you no option except this form of confrontation. (In point of fact, you have probably

never made the slightest attempt to contact her prior to the trashing.) Speak to the Lesbian

artist or activist as if she were evil incarnate. Speak to her as if she were the fountainhead

of all oppressions, especially those which are not your own. This is finally your chance to

really project your rage and frustration where it will do some damage. Go for it!

6) DENOUNCE! And here is where we are getting to the heart of the matter. This is it.

This is the trashing. Don't just criticize a chapter, or a presentation, or a policy - Indict the

entire book, the entire conference, the entire organization. And if it's a book, indict the

press that published it, the bookstores that carry it, the women who buy it! Declare it so

evil, it never should have come into existence at all! Take no prisoners!

7) AVOID THE APPEARANCE OF A PERSONAL ATTACK - And here you have to be

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careful. A good trashing is engineered to involve few risks for the trasher, but this is one

area where you could lose your edge. Do not attack the woman personally, because this

will show your hand. Do it by implication. Do it by omission. If you have erased her

achievements, discounted her motivations, addressed her in a disrespectful manner, and

trashed her work, you will not need to specifically attack her character. This is the point of

the trashing, and so it is hard to resist, but you must avoid any show of personal animosity

in order to retain your own credibility. You need to maintain your image as a radical and

courageous. If the audience caught wind of just how reactionary and cowardly your actions

really were, you would lose the whole show!

8) END BY DECLARING YOURSELF AN ALLY. Act like you are trying to help the woman

you are destroying. Don't hesitate to present yourself to her or to anyone else as an ally in

the deepest sense of the word. In fact, put the trashee on the spot by asking her to validate

this. Again, this will help to mask your agenda. If the trashee is a survivor of abuse, she

can be easily confused by declarations of this sort, because it has been a survival skill for

her to rationalize abuse and focus on empty gestures of support. By all means, exploit her

conditioning!

9) LET IT GO! Yes, gloat, savor, enjoy your victory. You deserve it. But let it go, because

in the weeks or months to come the trashee may kill herself, she may have a nervous

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breakdown, she may quit the organization to which she has given her life's blood - taking it

down with her, she may go mainstream, she may even retire from thirty years of activism.

You don't want that on your conscience. I mean, let's face it... You've already got all the

guilt and shame you can handle. Why else would you be trashing?

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The trashing of Julia Penelope was shameful, and her response was appropriate and

consistent with her commitment to Lesbian separatism. It is my hope that her pain from the

trashing and the loss we will suffer from her retirement will not have been for nothing.

The McCarthy era witch-hunts ended when McCarthy finally named someone with such

impeccable credentials that someone rose from the floor to demand, "Sir, have you no

decency?" The Communist witch-hunts ended because the country - saturated with

paranoia and censorship, sated with suicides, blasted careers, wasted lives, and the loss of

a generation of playwrights, novelists, screenwriters, and intellectuals - finally found the

guts to say "Enough!"

It is my hope that Julia Penelope will be the last Lesbian to be subjected to a publicly

supported trashing. I am grateful to Julia for her courage in coming forward with her pain

and for her decision to retire, which has brought home so tragically the consequences of

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our participation in a culture which tolerates the trashing of women.

Footnote:

1) Joreen, "Trashing: The Dark [sic] Side of Sisters," MS., April 1976. In The Feminist

Dictionary, edited by Cheris Kramarae and Paula Treichler (with Ann Russo). Boston:

Pandora Press, 1985.

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