SALT OR LIGHT

by

RICHARD MILLETT
Content:
White Cello
Settle
Tasteless, Colorless
Wax Fruit
The Gauntlet
Pearls
The Rabbit & The Cowardly Wolf
Would You Sell The Relics?
Allison Where The Blue Sea & Icebergs Are
Physical Copies
All content written and edited by Richard Millett 2016 published by Fluxlife Inc.
Layout & Design- Earl Todteman
Conceptual Continuity- Earl Todteman

The distance between a drop here and a drop there in the ocean makes no difference to each drop's relation to the ocean. - Meher Baba
[email protected]

makethingseasy.blogspot.com

scribd.com/Fluxlifeinc

youtube.com/user/Fluxlifeinc

Other titles in this series:

Radar/Grain- Tracing The Dim Signal- Water b/w Fingernail In My Salad- Scatter- Scatter/Mild Life/T. & W.- Life Isn't Hard b/w Mild Life- The
Aluminum Farm- The Zen Transference Manual- It Went Red- The First Four Years- Splish!- The Splish! Supplement- Splish Reconsidered- Swim To
The Center- Oranges- Present- Communism Is Grand- The Sampler- Statements Anti Statements- Sunrise On The Caina IslandsRemember b/w Thank You- Your Future Your Freedom- This Is What Freedom Looks Like- God Bless The Guests At The Banquet

WHITE CELLO
"Take the white envelope next to your right hand
give it to mehere, lick the seal and
thank you"
Talk to me
I'm in the open window
I'm not in time
but I've got your watch and
I need to learn to play this white cello
Scratch the surface
I'm on the shore
with a can of sugar
it's never bitter
I'd really rather be playing, though
I like the white strings, white bow
"that's not her that's her"
was the simplest thing you said today
I'm still and I'm still reeling
with no moments except now
you dont possess any microscopes
so I'll take the telescope
I'm trying to be angelic
which isnt easy after getting
desensitized with disappointments
every night eating fresh vegetables
but planning
oh you already know
and then you talk me out of it
You dont have a pistol in your waistcoat
your teeth aren't flecked with flax seeds
my misjudgments are my own
and most are unknownand just because I'm a pacifist
doesnt mean anyone can abuse me
and speaking of myself!
Notice me
I'm standing next to the tree
where the guy crashed the stolen car
then got out and ran for it
but I can behave for over
100 days and
I've squandered my efforts
and so much good will
that I sometimes still
need to convince myself
that I should try
to take lessons to play at all
but I'm sure you want me to
and I know what I can do

And with that!

we're not missing anything
we're humming songs through the phone
we're midnight movers
no we're not!
and dont be the guy on the bike
in the right lane
racing for his life
against rush hour traffic
in the morning
I know you are
and you know that I care
and I feel like Im Clark Kent
dressed in primary colors and
I havent taken off my
glasses off just yet
she said "as long as it's not evil"
and I cannot be evil
not right now
but it's the rising sun
it's a hardboiled egg
it's basil, it's a blue charm
I just want to play the white cello
I just want to sit in a circle and think about it some more
Are you gonna wrap this up?
you're just testing people's patience now
no, no no I'm just thinking out loud
it's a warm communication going on here
oh brother
see, that's what I'm talking about
I'm going to change some channels
quarters, nickels and all sunbathers must be wearing a blue suit
It'll be like a reverse safari
where they put lions, cheetahs, and tigers in a truck
and drive 'em around to show them people shopping
and walking down the street or pumping gas
itll be the apex of manifestation
or itll be the suburban safari
where some guy named Greg gives you
a little pith helmet and plastic binoculars
and you wait under his kitchen table
for the cat to use the litter box
"but why does it gotta be white"
never heard from before
advertising space available
clean clear water
the tastiest tomatoes

SETTLE
Of course
Im not going to talk about my divorce
Except to say
I went to a party
and The Host
asked where my invitation was
I had no thoughts
as I looked at the lapels of his white tux
He looked down at me
and said "Richard, it's up to you to
decide if you want to get inside"
Without a pause I said "of course I want that"
And
In the center of the circular driveway
the butler and stable boy
both ungroomed
face each other with unbroken smiles
and unblinking eyes
each studying the other
not daring to break the social contract
both hoping their requests are filled
On the spiral staircase
two cousins sitting
dressed up as girls
pretending to be sisters
holding a sance
only they can see
trying to conjure
Milton or Welles out of eternity
writing telepathic lists
of possible offerings
In the family crypt
two tabby cats
sink their claws into
a scrap of silk
carried down from
the master bedroom
when they've grown bored
they leave the stray threads
and torn shreds to blow away
At the bar
the maid and courier
fleetingly forget their responsibilities
her spiraling locks
the gentle powder of her perfume
make the courier stop what
he's whispering in mid sentence
and move closer
the two feeling each other breathing
and listening to Sugar Blues
beam from the bandstand

At the service entrance

the plumber and the chef
only briefly met
one asking the other
to borrow a pen
then the plumber
went to clear the water
and the chef finished
the notes for the meal plan
We sat on the cold stone in the rippling dusk
And I pointed to a building across the street
that we'd walked past before
And I said, I used to think that everything we built
Would be demolished if we split
But now I'm certain
Thats not true
Its been built
And that exists forever
Its just, now its a museum
Instead of a home
she didnt say anything
but I could tell she agreed

TASTELESS, COLORLESS
Viscous liquids
slowly spread across
the floor covered
with a shadow
Mirela stands with force-coughed laughter, a few phrases
hoping her Host will believe this is a natural interaction
she sees two children in the kitchen sitting with folded hands
and strangers faces staring through the window at them
The Host had been holding a one sided conversation
about if atoms turn to ice or go dry when they stop vibrating
and then began conjecturing about people he'd left behind and
informally ended with an enigmatic "I want to drain your glass eye"
Into the ocean
Mirela stands naked
before the mirror
remembering her husbands tattoo
thinking she should
not succumb to low desires
She remains unsure
about the connection
between newborn and mother
nervous that the baby
doesnt reach out for love
but out of instinct for its own interests
when she was pregnant
she was never told she had a glow
she figured her purity
would show in her
unmarked face of snow
but that was years ago
Mirela knows that ghosts are laughing at her
When she talks to her boss, when she steps in the shower
Mirela knows the ghosts keep her depraved
When they take off her clothes, when they change her name
But the reality is far more plain
the only one watching her is a raw nerve
who pays attention after he's completed his redactions
and thinks he's the last rational man in any room
It stands in the stairwell, It asks me to display concern
It analyses my impulses, it blends back into paintings
It asks me what Id do, if I'd never get caught
It asks how much I'd pay for the chance
It writes down my final thoughts at night
It convinces me to miss my flight
It makes it seem impossible to be love intoxicated when you abstain from all vice
Waking from recurring dreams
to discover none of the
four previous visitations
ever happened

Trying and failing to remember

the details
and why they seemed so real
Writing prayers of protection
and taping
them to the walls
Swearing at myself for
not having
read what I should
The Host appears wearing
spotless black cashmere
Fingernails neatly manicured, two inches long
The Host fills the sink
with boiling water
which he watches turn grey when he pokes in a finger
I'm afraid of spring
And what it means
It's safe to stay enclosed in winter
remaining quiet with migraines
willing away regression
casting off possessions
I need evidence
That this will work
A sign
for the effort
do you think
do you think
You are God's camera
I need evidence
That this will work
a sign
of what this is worth
do you think
do you think
You are God's camera
I dont need to
create another myth
I dont need to
be dependent
do you think
do you think
You are God's camera

WAX FRUIT
Like a shift starting at 4 am
without benefits and security
they knew the ex poet lied
Or tried, and when he arises
smiles and deeply breathes
the morning air, he's filled with daylight
and his friends dream of him in heaven
while he dreams of seeing faces in rock formations
like the town crier lying supine on the floor next to an unplugged
vibraphone he imagines he's on a source mission to recover
93 rare fish from the indian ocean and having an unfolding
series of unexplainable epiphanies bounce off his eyelids
and into his ears, private collages whose messages
leave him inarticulate and unwilling to even try to
make sense to his most loyal admirers instead
he thinks about moving earth between his
fingers, the smell of tomatoes on the vine
in the humid summer morning and
pretending he's on a cold cement
floor in a locker room where the
janitor won't find him and he
can think about his
breathing and
align all his
impulses
into an
imperceptibly
perfect
balance
Around the pool, around the pool
the wrestling racoons eventually stopped
to drink from a can of soup, while
the deer in the reeds, the bats in the trees watched
along with myself, smelling the stack
of rice paper, and chewing pulp
the lemon juice in a simple
accidental circle next to my pen
and postcards from Knebworth
As my attention wandered
I was staring up, pensive and
with little use for amusement
picturing my peers
and their futures in wheelchairs
asking a physical therapist for help
and in an hour of uncertainty
one can become fragile
and feel safe in that space
for years, repeatedly living out the fear
of being put there again
we become fragile
and lose sense of what's natural
become fragile
and not recover what's hidden

become fragile
and ignore colors in the spectrum
become fragile
and wonder why we're living
become fragile
and think there won't be redemption
The witness said she'd never
seen the like of you before
the rumpled polka dot dress
the mismatched flats
stretched wide across your feet
the misapplied make-up
drawing the eye away
from the razor burn and stubble
marking your white legs
the thin black wig framing your face
but mostly of course
the chipped front tooth smile of
your uncontrolled jubilance as
you skipped down the staircase
but in that moment
it was unbeknownst to you
that your associates had missed
and while you carried out
the planned exit
your target had already given
you all the slip
and though there were theories
around the handling of the case
despite strict orders
the tapes were never erased
A: I know that you never saw anything like that!
B: But I did! I did see it!
A: That's impossible because there wasnt anybody there!
B: Yes, there was, and I saw them!
A: Why do you insist on lying about this?
B: I'm not lying! I'm telling you what I saw! I can only tell you the truth!
A: Ms. Rodriguez, dont do this to me.
B: Dont do what to you?
A: Ms. Rodriguez, don't make me go out there and tell them that youre lying.
B: I saw what I saw.
A: Ms. Rodriguez, you're a young woman, dont throw your life away for this.
B: I'm not throwing my life away! I'm answering your questions!
A: Ms. Rodriguez, are you Catholic?
B: Yes, and no.
A: Confirmed but not practicing?
B: Yes
A: Ms. Rodriguez, you want to go home, yes?
B: Yes
A: Then be honest and tell me you were mixed up.
B: But I'm not mixed up.
A: I could let you go right now.
B: I dont want to be here any longer, I havent done anything wrong.
A: You dont have any sense of decency.
B: I do! I do too! I am telling you the truth.

THE GAUNTLET
B: That wasn't him
A: Yes it was, we have it on film
Seeing- her sister falling
Sound- of the puncture
As he sits in his box
she sits in hers
her face smeared tears
pleading for understanding
He's learned his
expression
and how not to hear
the wailing of either sister
Alone he knows
when his aim is perfect
he's untouchable
when his aim is perfect
they stay quiet
when his aim is perfect
they show respect
When I ask
they bring me water
they bring me clothes
they bring me paper
I am always- my own possession
Skywriting virgins- breathing exhaustedly
You can't keep singing
at a grave that
doesnt exist
it's unrealistic
and disingenuous
I'll never answer back
or visit your dreams
no matter what you think
if you insist
on saying farewell
then you must leave
and dont keep me
in your own
private purgatory
Cracking gavel
image of entrails
I'll tell you
what to do
when you're
half asleep
I'll erase
your ability
to succeed
I'll eat
your concentration

PEARLS
There'd been a robbery in her apartment
The dentist dabbed at the blood dripping off his drill and
said "that was a lot more than I expected"
They had hit Carrie's place while she slept
The cops spent the early hours asking her questions
like did she have any enemies, perhaps somebody in her family
they told her to screen her calls, implored her to invest in some security
ultimately, the only items of value taken were a few pieces of jewelry
Bankers boxes were duct taped shut, and loaded in the truck
their contents filled with scrap
to go and get melted down
by guys who didn't care whether
it came from an abandoned iron works, or was brass stolen from a catholic school
Gregory never thought it would come to this
the ranch was facing foreclosure
he'd gotten a wedge of glass jammed into his hand
and his girlfriend had spent $25 she didn't have
on an ugly antique horseshoe she hung upside down in the doorway
I should have known
when we were standing
at your mother's grave
that you wouldn't speak any longer
I should have known
when we were standing
at your mother's grave
walled in a cold fog
Gregory looked down at the four inches of stained skin
on his left forearm and thought
what that symbol meant to him when he was 18
and then how gutted he felt when he noticed the girl at the bank
had the same thing on her ankle
while the detective tried to focus on the negatives
from the crime scene, intently scanning
for details he might otherwise miss, but he was
distractedly irritated by the accidental double exposures
and darks splotches of silver salts on his fingertips
I used to walk
Much quicker
And look over my shoulder
Now I no longer worry
I used to walk
Much quicker
But now Ive been
absolved of responsibility
There was a beautiful storm last night that disrupted
the 90 degree heat and blocked out the 6pm sun
the smell of mud running over the fresh blacktop
icy rain that came like the crest of a wave
cutting short the humidity
my clothes and hair getting drenched
the holes in the soles of my shoes
letting the water soak my feet
as I walked in circles
across the nearly
empty lot

THE RABBIT & THE COWARDLY WOLF

Who cares
an angry ingrown sore
spreading red
and silently whining
the body? what body?
The published excerpts
her body
a brace of muscle spasms
in her right bicep
she'd observe her pet rabbit
in its cage
and skip past the
turn of the century print
in her father's office
depicting a fox hunt
and yet
just one block away
another rabbit sat in the passenger
seat horribly embarrassed
as the cowardly wolf
got a breathalyzer and then failed
to walk in a straight line
but back to the unnamed girl
I think it might have been Amanda
or Amy
when one's head is round
as a bowling ball
and smokes their shame
and presses bare chested
on saplings in the spring
at dawn for an unobserved
tiny tingle before the roll is called...
clearly mockery is uncalled for
and exoneration is at a premium
but we shall not allow
for a violation of definitions
especially for one as important
to this narrative as Amanda or Amy
No, no, no, no, no
When the rabbit stepped down
as the star of his own sitcom
to attend to those "personal issues"
there had been
so many whispers about
the cowardly wolf suddenly
was left without something
to watch, emulate, idolize
sneak in a quick jerk during the commercials to,
argue with, get enlightened by, surprised by
study, evaluate, grade, rate, review

proselytize on behalf of,

display obscure knowledge of,
and "obviously"
whinge that it wasn't as good as the early years
and that he would know
since he was there before whoever
he wasn't impressing
but since no other show
gave the cowardly wolf the
flood of serotonin
he craved so restlessly
he grudgingly and pragmatically
chose to watch re-runs in perpetuity
and why not dress it up a little
for they could be revivals
or even better, celebrations!
a new institution, a part of our shared
experience and ongoing mounting heritage
Clutter
television was revoked
The rabbit and cowardly wolf decided
to intercept their favorite actor's private plane
and as he touched down at the dullest airport you can imagine
the duo were hilarious to themselves
is he wearing rayon? It's not like he couldnt afford ultra suede!
after the actor greeted them with
a few quick, canned quips
he deftly inked two memories
and upon his departure
the cowardly wolf chided the rabbit
about mistaking the actor's
autograph for a pictograph
as they later sat in the 50's diner
their root beers run flat
the jukebox unplugged by the owner
who was that fighter
who won a round
without throwing a single punch?
it wasnt Willie Pep
which one are you?
an afterthought
welcoming back Amanda or Amy
He spent his first life as Alexander The Great's chariot
He'd get upset when his action figures didn't eat the cucumber sandwiches he'd made
He'd put down his crayons and say things like
You're Arnold and I'm Willis
No, you're Mr. Drummond and I'm Dudley

Well I'm Bruce Wayne and youre Commissioner Gordon

No, you're Dick Grayson and I'm Edward Nigma
No, you're wrong, I'm Ryne Sandberg and you're Leon Durham
No, you're Keith Moreland and I'm Rick Sutcliffe
Amanda or Amy
I handed him my Ovation
but it wouldn't play, total silence
he gave it back, and I sounded like Segovia
he tried one more time
and it was like someone had pressed a mute button
I see that you've just wandered in
would you like to give an account of yourself?

the unclean offerings

are an example of a permissive society
the long thin membrane
that seems to lead skyward
you are so well spoken
and none of us would have noticed
reverse gentrification
the committee smiles, the lead lawyer holding out a pen
the rabbit renews his contract
and his first project, a mystery called
If Only You Were Innocent
photographs, press conference
no disclosed details of the arrangement
he thanked his agent Marty Webber
with a note and fruit basket
The rabbit's people punched up the script with gems like
"son, you're a born fact checker
right down to the letter"
"I'll sell my secrets
because I don't care!"
"only dogs try to understand things"
meanwhile, the cowardly wolf had
disappeared for four days to investigate a garden
he had wanted to make a biopic about himself
but couldnt secure the rights

the rabbit and the cowardly wolf

slumped drunkenly against the back wall of their town
with only the moonlight
reflecting off their wine bottle
nyit nyet not neither the harridan
butcher's wife nor the labourer
pounding spikes shall
befeel a rigidity known in the necks
like the mechanics racks
that feels nor floats
a load stone on the banks
betwixt a bell end and an alarm clock
do you think it's wrong to contradict yourself?
seasick
Since you are no longer
allowed to enjoy a glass of water
The cowardly wolf mumbles a roar
as that goddamn kid has taken his seat on the train again
off the rails with
this wretched decade, then the remorse, the introspective post mortem
the fashion, the architecture, the music, the media, the technology
indecisive broad gestures
sweeping changes of the subject
conflating placating terminology with warm sentiment
the cowardly wolf appears to ignore the newsfeed
deeply flawed
Archaic? Downright pre-historic!
dances over the line of self parody
so often, you start to lose the ability to tell the difference
an obvious, forced version
of what he used to do so effortlessly
I really miss Amanda or Amy
The rabbit and the cowardly wolf get x-rays together
Paw in paw at the clinic
nothing's broken, they just like the way their jewelry looks
against their bones in the photographs
At the ballet
The view from the private box is undisturbed
and the rabbit relaxes and holds a bucket of carrots
the cowardly wolf watches him gnaw
they bought tickets using pseudonyms
and are wearing new suits
with contrasting fedoras and little pasted on beards

In between acts the cowardly wolf yawns

"must they always" which the rabbit doesnt hear
then the lights go black
a cameo appearance
The rabbit bribed a policeman
and the cowardly wolf crouched behind a bush filming it all
and while both are smart enough to accept
that this is an inherently artificial medium
they can't stand exposition disguised as dialogue
or arbitrary structural decisions
or the limitations of the budget
or when some exec wants to cast his nephew
who just needs a way to break-in
Amanda or Amy
I've always had such a high opinion of you
Save your dignity
Don't call the press
Preserve the essence
The essence of drama
The command
The show that intermittently ends and begins

WOULD YOU SELL THE RELICS?

The General that
only cares about tomorrow
also expects everyone
to echo the same expression
and when the general can
no longer see the power
of their influence
they try and exert
control over any small
circumstance under their command
While the brigadier general
worries to no one
if they need a transfusion
The Colonel who's
concerned that not enough
people's fingerprints
matches theirs
requires a warning
on the front page of each report
along with a summary
cut together by a subordinate
in a matter of minutes
so they don't have to
waste any energy generating
contradictory thoughts
While the Captain
enters their coordinates
so their location is known
and updated every moment
which leaves the Captain free
to make discoveries
like the wheel or gravity
then sell their findings
to the executives
or campaign staff of their choice
urged by a strong sense of benevolence
a tribute to charity as a force
And the 1st Lieutenant's
unmatched love of history
is proven by the pictures
taken of their parents
with Goebbels in Brazil in the 70's
And the 2nd Lieutenants
jealousy shows and
grouses to one, that's not Goebbels
it's clear it's Martin Bormann
The Sergeant Major that
reset the standards
of esprit de corps
doesnt know the panic they'll feel
a few short years later
when they are urged
out of the way
or that they'll become stiff
with resentment and resolute in their
calls for punishment
and institute measures

to monitor how the company behaves

While the Staff Sergeant
writes on a photo of themselves
"the future points to you"
and daydreams about
collecting the remaining
virginities from the sorority
house down the road
and they already have
the names, ages, and weights
in a frequently updated database
then the Staff Sergeant complains
about commercials before content
The Chief Warrant Officer who breaks ranks
to research the order
the alphabet was created in
gets rueful about seeing themselves age
and attending charity events,
funerals, and hospital visits
seeing their face in the mirror
more washed out than before
wondering as they write their
commencement address, who
will even be paying attention
in the audience?
drinking from puddles
seeing what the sky says
not being able
to read handwriting
As
children
they
received
a puzzle
In the mail
To the private it's an eye roll
and all so boring and shallow
To see another round of
legacies shut out by an off hand remark
The private doesnt ask
any of the officers where
they should start
what's the matter where
rebellion is kitsch
and trauma is walmart
the specialist greets the private
they each think the other is a dilettante
and later the specialist considers
what's the matter where
you have a thousand followers
and not a dozen supporters?
Would you sell the relics?

ALLISON WHERE THE BLUE SEA & ICEBERGS ARE

She's ice cream
and there she's down the hall
she uses words like everything and all
I can hear her, but I cant make out her features
I know she spends her weekends
in a cement cinema
making notes
the girl next to her tries to see what
she wrote
Allison wonders
Why The Guy In The Elevator Keeps
Glancing At Her
and why the weather keeps jumping
between rain and sun
every 30 minutes
she keeps saying
Quit asking me questions
I'm innocent
as people assume she's joking
Allison wonders
what are the windows thinking?
on day where there's a white line
down the center of the sky
her mind cuts back to the guy
on the elevator with a quick
look at me, look at you
were equals
Allison wonders
if she can keep hiding
while knowing theyre following me
Allison writes
What started as hopes
are now observations
mostly about nature
and being young stops being
fascinating once it's done
Allison looks at her bowl of spinach
and her eyes focus down on
the details of one leaf
and she quietly speaks
an atheist sees this
and can only think
of the mud it grows from
Allison writes
we extend grace out of
our own sense of grace
and smiles because she's not sure
if that's her own
or something she's
half remembering from
2 or 3 incarnations ago

Allison considers
why her back & hands are so slippery
when she's invisible
and then tells her sister
my tongue is a graffiti sponge
I wonder if I'll have to make love
in front of a judge
Allison considers
that she's a character
who looks and acts just like her
then draws a bath with the lights off
Allison invites
her guests to walk barefoot
while cherries and red confetti
float out of her phone
Allison considers
emptying cash registers
if the security cameras lose power
but what she mostly wants
are completely natural segues
with no artificial blends
Make thoughts your aim
Or nerve blaming
when all meet with you at your beginnings

but make allowance for their worn-out tools

and make dreams a trap for fools
after they are gone

PHYSICAL COPIES

Ah, he detached himself years ago

Spent every night this week
with his face in his phone
or making excuses why he cannot come home

What is he looking at for so many hours?

where does he go?
what is it that captivates him so?
you respect his privacy
but you also have the right to know

Maybe he only wants the girlfriend experience

instead of the reality...
perhaps he can only cope with false intimacy
or maybe it just took this long to discover
that his natural disposition could easily be described as
unpleasantly empty

Maybe in his mind

he's only got eight months to live

Maybe he's just too afraid

to be embarrassed
...or maybe he only cares
about his ease of convenience

You figure that he cant even remember

the memories that you treasure
You catch him glancing at you
and wonder if he's recalling
something he once heard Mr. Blackwell say,
"the more hardware, the less personality"

What does he spend his money on?

all you know is that he never has enough
and he doesn't buy the things that
he used to show interest in
and he certainly hasn't gotten you a gift in months

He doesn't seem to respond

to your new clothes, makeup or perfume
and then there's the most disconcerting fact
when you realize that even the implants won't bring him back