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Hands-on
Writing
Student’s Handbook

By: Ma. Teresa/Dindin Bansolay

Pines English Academy

Volga Street, Riverside Subd., Anunas, Angeles City

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PREFACE
For many ESL students the beginning of learning how to write well is to unlearn much of what they've
been taught. Most students arrive at language academies with a grab-bag of rules that they try their best to hold on
to. They've never really thought about these rules, or wondered if they make sense. But students believe that
following these rules will help produce "good writing," and that "bad writing" is defined as breaking the rules.

With this problem commonly encountered, this class is designed to meet the needs of students for a more
formal, guided, and well structured writing!

For students who have taken Interactive Writing we believe they are very much ready to take a higher
form of writing that involves more hands-on activities which are lengthy, refined, and more precise.

As for this class, we encourage students to be more critical and objective, the good characteristics of
language used in dynamic writing will evoke students’ responses in writing activities. While essay types useful to
develop and to concretely show students’ progress will make them more creative, more entertaining, and most of all
more critical in depicting ideas.

All in all, this class leads students to formal form of English writings, and it serves as a tool in cases some
will take proficiency tests such as TOEIC and TOEFL, where in both Business and Practical English are used.

Teaching Guidelines

The class is divided into three main parts; during the first week students are going to
learn the 3 major structures of an essay. Introduction, body, and conclusion are discusses
followed by examples and then by a writing application.
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On the second week the students are going to learn the tools in maintaining unity and
coherence. Important lessons such as the use of transitions, proofreading symbols, and the like
are discussed.

On the third and fourth weeks, the students are going to focus on the content of their
work outputs, different types of essay will be the main focus of the class.

All throughout the term students are expected to finish every writing task given them, a
time limit is also set to encourage students to work well within a time pressured activity. The
rationale behind this is to instill to the students diligence in writing. At all times the use of
correct grammar, organization, coherence, clarity, and efficiency in writing is highly observed.
Therefore teachers are going to check each of the students’ work, and there after explain to
the students the mistakes formed, and thereby guide the student to make less error on the
next writing activity.

Students may find this class, exhausting and so teachers are expected to explain the
purpose of the class during the first day.

Table of Contents
UNIT CONTENT

Unit I Elements of a Good Paragraph

Unit II Introduction
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Unit III Paragraphs

Unit IV Conclusion

Unit V Proofreading

Unit VI Transition Markers

Unit VII Gathering Data for a Meaningful Essay

Unit VIII Choosing the Best Topics

Unit IX Descriptive Essay

Unit X Process Essay

Unit XI Definition Essay

Unit XII Application Essay

UNIT I. Elements of a Good Paragraph

A paragraph is effective for the following reasons:

1. The paragraph shows unity. All the sentences effectively relate back to the topic sentence at
the beginning of the paragraph. All of the sentences have something to do with dogs not liking
cats.
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2. The paragraph shows coherence. There is a flow of thoughts and ideas among the sentences in
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this paragraph. There are good transitions employed in the paragraph. The writer also presents
her sub-topics in an orderly fashion that the reader can follow easily.

3. The paragraph is developed. The writer gives herself enough space to develop the topic. He or
she gives us at least two reasons to accept her argument and incorporates some examples in
order to give those reasons more validity.

UNIT II. Introduction

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Now sit down and write the essay. The introduction should grab the reader's attention, set up the issue,
and lead in to your thesis. (Note: The title and first paragraph are probably the most important elements in
your essay.. In the first paragraph you either hook the reader's interest or lose it. In the real world, readers
make up their minds about whether or not to read your essay by glancing at the title.

Get the reader's attention

The first goal in your introduction is to grab the reader's attention. Wake him or her
up and generate some interest about the topic. To grab the reader's attention, you
might present . . .

 an interesting fact
 a surprising piece of information
 an exciting quotation
 an intriguing paradox
 an explanation of an odd term
 a short narrative/anecdote (not fiction)
 a provocative question

Do not begin so broad and general that the first several sentences could fit nearly any essay.
For example:

 Too General: Crime has been an issue throughout time.

 More Specific: The question of the severity of punishments for juveniles is an issue that has
garnered attention due to the increasing number of juvenile shootings in the last several years.

 Too General: Man has always wondered about the meaning of information.
 More Specific: The Age of Information brought about through the digital revolution of
computers has posed significant questions about the value and worth of this information: Does
having instant access to every newspaper and journal blog in the world make us more
intelligent, value-based people?
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Hands-on: Write an example Introduction for the topic “Why go to university?” Write 2 or 3
sentences for the introduction.
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UNIT III. Paragraphs

Each individual paragraph should be focused on a single idea that supports your thesis. Begin paragraphs with
topic sentences, support assertions with evidence, and expound your ideas in the clearest, most sensible way
you can. Speak to your reader as if he or she were sitting in front of you. In other words, instead of writing the
essay, try talking the essay.

I. Choose a singular focus

Each paragraph should have a clear, singular focus to it. If there is an overriding error students make
in writing essays, it is shifting topics within the same paragraph, rather than continuing to develop
the same idea they began with.

II. Begin with a topic sentence

Nothing will help you keep a tighter focus on your paragraphs than topic sentences. A topic sentence
is generally the first sentence of the paragraph, and it describes the claim or point of the paragraph,
thus orienting the reader to the purpose of the paragraph.

III. Develop ideas

Try to apply these techniques to develop the idea of your paragraph

 illustrate your idea with examples

 give an authoritative quotation
 anticipate and respond to counterarguments
 back your ideas with more evidence
 offer another perspective to the idea
 brainstorm more insights about the idea
 elaborate on causes/effects, definitions, comparison/contrasts
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Hands-on: Write an example paragraph for the given topic, “Why go to university?
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UNIT IV. Conclusion

Gracefully exit your essay by making a quick wrap-up sentence, and then end on some memorable thought,
perhaps a quotation, or an interesting twist of logic, or some call to action.

I. Recap your main idea

If your essay was long and complex, sometimes difficult to follow, in the conclusion
you'll want to recap your ideas in a clear, summarizing manner.

II. Leave a memorable impression

You've got to make a graceful exit from your essay by leaving a memorable
impression on the reader. To leave this memorable impression, try . . .

 giving a thought-provoking quotation

 describing a powerful image
 talking about consequences or implications
 stating what action needs to be done
 ending on an interesting twist of thought
 explaining why the topic is important

III. Keep it short

Keep your conclusion short, probably ten lines or less, and avoid fluff. You're just trying to make a clever
exit, and presumably all the really important points have been made previously in your essay.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Example of Real Conclusions

Today, as the phonographs which follow prove, the mystique of the cat is still very much alive in
the Egyptian environment. For after all, should not the cat be important in the Muslim world, as
apparently God inspired man to write its name-qi, t, t in Arabic letters-in such a shape that it looks like a
cat?
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--Lorraine Chittock, Cairo Cats

Hands-on: Write a Conclusion about the essay “Why go to university?”

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UNIT V. Proofreading

A. Common Proofreading Symbols

Symbol Meaning Example

insert a comma

apostrophe or single
quotation mark

insert something

use double quotation marks

use a period here

delete

transpose elements

close up this space

a space needed here

begin new paragraph

no paragraph
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B. Common Proofreading Abbreviations

Ab a faulty abbreviation She had earned a Phd along with her M.D.
Agr
agreement problem:
See also The piano as well as the guitar need tuning.
subject/verb or
P/A and The student lost their book.
pronoun/antecedent
S/V
awkward expression The storm had the effect of causing
Awk
or construction millions of dollars in damage.
Cap faulty capitalization We spent the Fall in Southern spain.
Raoul tried his best, this time that
CS comma splice
wasn't good enough
Due to the fact that we were wondering
DICT faulty diction
as to whether it would rain, we stayed home.
Working harder than ever, this job
Dgl dangling construction
proved to be too much for him to handle.
problem with
- ed Last summer he walk all the way to Birmingham.
final -ed
Depending on the amount of snow we get this
Frag fragment
winter and whether the towns buy new trucks.
problem in parallel
|| My income is bigger than my wife.
form
pronoun/antecedent A student in accounting would be wise to see
P/A
agreement their advisor this month.
My aunt and my mother have wrecked her car
problem with The committee has lost their chance to change
Pron
pronoun things.
You'll have to do this on one's own time.
unnecessary
Rep The car was blue in color.
repetition
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Raoul tried his best this time

R-O run-on sentence
that wasn't good enough.
Sp spelling error This sentence is flawed with two misspellings.
-s problem with final -s He wonder what these teacher think of him.
The proofreader uses this Latin term to indicate
that proofreading marks calling for a change
STET Let it stand
should be ignored and the text as originally
written should be "let stand."
subject/verb
S/V The problem with these cities are leadership.
agreement
T verb tense problem He comes into the room, and he pulled his gun.
Seldom have we perused a document so verbose,
Wdy wordy so ostentatious in phrasing, so burdened with too
many words.
What affect did the movie have on Sheila?
WW wrong word
She tried to hard to analyze its conclusion.

UNIT VI. Transition Markers

Use transition markers wisely. Sometimes you'll need to announce to your reader some turn in
your argument. Or you'll want to emphasize one of your points. Or you'll want to make clear
some relationship in time. In all these cases you'll want to use transition markers.

Here are some examples:

 To show place - above, below, here, there, etc.

 To show time - after, before, currently, during, earlier, later, etc.
 To give an example - for example, for instance, etc.
 To show addition - additionally, also, and, furthermore, moreover, equally important,
etc.
 To show similarity - also, likewise, in the same way, similarly, etc.
 To show an exception - but, however, nevertheless, on the other hand, on the contrary,
yet, etc.
 To show a sequence - first, second, third, next, then, etc.
 To emphasize - indeed, in fact, of course, etc.
 To show cause and effect - accordingly, consequently, therefore, thus, etc.
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 To conclude or repeat - finally, in conclusion, on the whole, in the end, etc.

Sample Text

During the early twentieth century, Australian society experienced a transformation of the
domestic ideal. At this time families were subject to an increasing array of government and
'professional' programs and advice aiming to manage and regulate family life. Some of
these programs were designed to counter social changes, others were designed to
engineer them; ultimately each heralded a growing expert encroachment into the private
sphere.

Intervention and influence took three forms. Firstly, techniques designed to maximize
efficiency were introduced into the home and scientific principles were applied to its
design. In addition, housework and parenting methods were scrutinized and subject to
unprecedented standards. Secondly, all aspects of reproduction attracted increasing
intervention from government and the medical profession. Thirdly, state, professional and
philanthropic groups began to usurp the parental role within the family through instruction
and policy. Consequently, the development of 'modern' social ideals brought regulation,
intervention and ever-increasing unrealistic standards.
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Hands-on: Imagine these 2 paragraphs are part of a larger essay on Wendy’s.

1. Insert transitional words & phrases within the FIRST PARAGRAPH to make it more cohesive &
less choppy. To do so, you’ll need to determine what kind of relationships exist between
sentences and phrases & choose transitions that are appropriate. You may change punctuation as
needed.
2. Provide a smooth transition sentence to begin the SECOND PARAGRAPH and smoothly
connect it to the preceding paragraph. “Also” doesn’t cut it. Neither does the more
grammatically correct “In addition…” (Notice the good transition that opens the 1 st paragraph).

In spite of such negative statistics, I will continue to frequent Wendy’s in the Student

Union building. The fries are excellent. They are rarely too greasy. They are usually

fresh and crispy. They aren’t too crispy. The burgers are sizzling hot. The warmth of

the burger is accentuated by the coolness of the mayonnaise & other condiments. A

Frosty makes a good dessert. Dinner at Wendy’s is not healthy. The food tastes great.

Also, Wendy’s has great service. I particularly appreciate the lightening-fast finger work

of the Wendy’s cashier as he punches students’ orders into the magic box. When he

quickly enters my order, I am confident that he takes his work very seriously. Likewise,

the other Wendy’s employees are professional & courteous. They too acknowledge the

need to work quickly & effectively, and their service reflects such an understanding.
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UNIT VII. Gathering Data for a Meaningful Essay

Four Basic Data Gathering Procedure Options

Some students are not aware of the fact that they need to know some data gathering
procedure techniques when writing their essays. Usually, they are simply concentrating on how
to come up with a good thesis statement, how to develop literature review or even how to
cute reference materials.

There are different ways for you to conduct data gathering procedures. Usually, these ways are
related to the same processes in statistics.

1. Data mining – this procedure involves the search for published data from reputable
sources. The process is simpler than other techniques but you need to make sure that
the data is up to date.
2. Interviewing - this data gathering procedure involves a certain amount of time and
effort investment. However, you can maximize the data that you can acquire form each
respondents because you will personally acquire data from them.
3. Depending on your essay topics, you can conduct surveying. If you wish to gather quick
and raw data, this is the best medium for you. Prepare a set of questionnaire and then
have your respondents fill them out.
4. Lab experiments – this type of data gathering procedure is intended if you wish to have
a control factor. You can then conduct lab experiments to gather raw data and then
compare your results to a control measurement.

UNIT VIII. Choosing the Best Essay Topics

Writing is an activity that has a sequence of logically well constructed sentences dedicated
towards representing in essence the viewpoint of an individual. There are many simple factors
that are considered when choosing the appropriate topics for essay. The style and the
structure of an essay depend on the specific type of essay that you are writing on but the basic
construction of an essay remains the same almost everywhere. The introduction is where the
writer ushers in the topic of the essay and makes a thesis statement if necessary. When
choosing a topic for essay keep in mind that you consider your level of knowledge and
experience on the topic.
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Successful essays depend a lot on how the topic for essay was chosen. The occasion for which
the essay is to be written affects the language that you can you in essays.

The classifications are very broad, some factors are environment dependent. The environment
also determines what topic for essay is chosen. It is not always necessary to be outspoken and
outright. It helps sometimes to be tactful and soft spoken.

 Consider the audience: Always make it a point to consider your audience. If you have
time to write the essay then you can brainstorm the topic, it helps to converse with
peers about it and get the general opinion on the topic. Choose a catchy topic that is
targeted to the interests of your audience.
 Narrow your work down: Narrow down the possible topics for essay and make a list of
the extremities of the topics available to you. Make sure that you do not choose a
controversial topic to write an essay that has a high degree of importance unless you
are familiar with the topic in question.
 Research the topic: Research the topic if you have to. There are many online guides
that will help you write a powerful essay. Web sites dedicated to hosting articles offer
in great detail a good variety of sound articles which offer valuable help in writing
drawing from a large database of topics for essay.
 Use your imagination: Imagination has a very important role to play in the process of
writing. One thing to remember when choosing topics for essay is the importance of
your personal creativity and viewpoint. Adding your own individual element is just as
important as writing with the correct structure or the correct grammar. Blunt writing
only dulls the reader's affections towards your work.

Make a summary of the possible topics for essay. Work out the variables carefully and make a
final list. Before you draft your work, make sure that you have selected a topic that will
highlight your opinion and the need to act upon the topic.

To illustrate:
UNIT IX. Descriptive Essay
This type of essay describes what the author observes and perceives. The main message is the
author wants to share this experience with the reader.

To begin with a descriptive essay, it's important to identify exactly what to describe. Often, a
descriptive essay will focus on portraying one of the following:

a person
a place
a memory

focus on the five senses.

sight
sound
smell

SAMPLE ESSAY

Provo
by Guo Ying Gao
an experience
an object

In writing a descriptive essay, the best way to create a vivid experience for the readers is to

touch
taste

Read other essays by Guo Ying Gao

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I have been in Provo for almost eleven months. I have seen winter, spring,
summer, and fall. Provo's winter is so beautiful. The mountains are covered with a lot of
snow. They look like many beautiful brides wearing wedding dresses, and veils. In
spring, Provo doesn't have many trees; when the snow melts the mountains are bald as
strong bald men. Summer in Provo is very hot in the daytime. Last summer when I was
walking under the sky, it was like walking in an oven; the sun was like a fire that burned
my skin. In spring and summer the weather was always clear. I never used my umbrella.
Provo was like huge clothes dryer; it is very dry in spring and summer. In the fall the
weather in Provo is very strange. One late September morning when I woke up, the
mountaintops was covered with snow. Provo is a lovely and strange place. I
love it very much.

Hands-on: Describe the person you admire the most. Use adjectives and adverbs to make your
essay more comprehensible. Limit your essay from 150-225 words.
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UNIT X. Process Essay

Writing a process essay requires a lot of work to do. First of all the author is supposed to explain
the significance of the analyzed process. Then, the effect this process may have on objects or even
people is revealed. It is necessary to mention all the information about the process to make the
reader fully understand its essence. A good way to make a process essay logical is to choose a
correct number of steps within the process and the difficulties of each step.

A process essay has a classical structure depending only on the amount of the process’ steps
described:

I- Introduction
In the introduction the author reveals the basic aim of the process leaving out specific details. Basic
background information is also provided. Another factor to mention is the true meaning of this
process and its everyday life application. The thesis statement is always the final sentence of the
introduction.
II- Body
The amount of body paragraphs depends on the amount of process stages. Therefore the body is a
guide to how to carry out the procedure. Each step or stage should have its specific purpose the
reader needs to understand.
III- Conclusion
The conclusion paragraph reveals the result of the process. It is also offers a thesis restatement to
reinforce the significance of the procedure.

Process Essay Sample Outline

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I. Introduction
Thesis: Ingestion, digestion, and absorption are the three major steps involved in the digestive
process.

II. Food is ingested.

A. Food enters the mouth.
B. Food is chewed.
C. Food is ready to travel to the stomach.

III. Food is digested.

A. Food is mixed with acidic gastric juices in the stomach.
B. The partially liquid food moves from the stomach to the small intestine.
C. Enzymes are secreted.

IV. Absorption
A. The digested food passes through the walls of the small intestine.
B. The digested food is absorbed into the bloodstream.
V. Conclusion
Paraphrased Thesis: The digestion process involves three major steps: ingestion, digestion, and
absorption.
SAMPLE ESSAY

A Process of Digestion
The digestive process is important in maintaining the lives of living organisms and in
providing them with needed energy. Groups of organs, such as the mouth, esophagus, stomach,
and intestines, work together to perform this complex task. Digestion is the process of breaking
down food from large molecules into small ones to make it easier for absorption. The three major
steps involved in the digestive process are ingestion, digestion, and absorption.
Ingestion, which occurs in the mouth, is the first step of the digestive process. After
food enters the mouth, the teeth chew it. Saliva, which is produced by the salivary glands, plays
a major role in breaking down the food into smaller pieces. These small pieces travel to the
stomach through the esophagus.
In the stomach, the second step of the digestive process begins. When the chewed food
reaches the bottom of the esophagus, a valve lets the food enter the stomach. Contraction of the
stomach wall mixes the food. Acidic gastric juices, which are secreted by the gastric glands in the
stomach, help in mixing the food and in turning it into a partial liquid so it will have the ability
to move into the small intestine. In the small intestine, enzymes are secreted, and digestion is
completed.
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The last step in the digestive process is absorption. Absorption takes place in the small
intestine. The wall of the small intestine is lined with small, finger like projections called villi.
Small molecules of food are absorbed by the huge number of villi. Some of these absorbed
molecules enter the bloodstream to be distributed throughout the whole body.
In conclusion, the digestive process involves three major steps: ingestion, digestion, and
absorption. Ingestion, which occurs in the mouth, helps to increase the surface are of the food
particles and prepares them for digestion. In the stomach, digestion begins, and it continues until
it reaches the small intestine, where absorption takes place. The digestive process maintains
organisms' lives by providing them with energy needed for different
functions.

Hands-on : Write an essay on how to develop self-confidence. Use transitions and limit your essay
from 150-225 words.
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UNIT XI. Definition Essay

I. A definition essay defines a word, term, or concept in depth by providing a personal commentary on
what the specific subject means.

A. Most physical objects have a definition about which most people agree.

1. Most people will agree on what trees, windows, computers, and pencils are in
general.

2. These objects all have specific physical properties that most people can agree on
through the use of their physical senses.

B. However, abstract terms, such as love, pain, or patriotism, have different meanings for
different individuals since such terms play on people’s feelings more than their physical senses.

C. The definition essay provides a personal, extended definition of such terms by linking or
comparing the term to a previous definition and by illustrating how that term should be
applied.

COURAGE
So literally it means “an action that comes from a heart”, other words it is a noble action. It
what sense is this word used by modern people? The main interpretation of the usage of this term
is – “to describe people who have a quality of mind that allows them to face danger without fear,
which is also often referred to as bravery or boldness”. This word it mostly used when talking
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about man for from its original it is considered to be more of a manly a good value. The definitions
of this word are numerous, but since the world around us changes the definitions change, too. For
instance, if we talk about the liberty of word we can define “courage” as the “the person’s ability to
say what he thinks on this matter”.

Courage is a brilliant word. For many people risking or giving one's life for others is
probably the highest example of courage. This is an action that will always be deeply respected by
other people and touches every single one of us to the core. What about everyday courage? Can
certain devoted actions made by ordinary people in ordinary situations be considered to be
courageous? Is courage measured by physically giving someone’s life away for somebody? Is it
“courage” when a person reconciles from the death of the loved one? Or is “courage” living with a
handicapped child? We can say that “courage” is being strong even though you are afraid, but on
the other hand it is taking risks without knowing the future result. Bravery, heroism, boldness,
spirit, confidence, firmness, persistence, fearlessness, determination – these words can all be view
from a point of being synonyms to the word courage. This word is a combination
of these words and has a deeper meaning...

UNIT XII. Application Essay

1. Being good is not enough. Be unique.

There are many good essays out there. So you should not be contented with a good essay. You have to
work for an excellent essay.

Admissions officers have to evaluate mountains of applications. This means that they are busy people.
And when they have to go through identical papers a sort of fatigue sets in that could inadvertently lead
to rejection of the candidates who submit non-differentiated essays, even though these essay by
themselves are of good quality. This means that not only will your essay have to be good; it has to be
different enough to break the boredom and make the admissions officer sit up and take notice.

You can do this by incorporating the right amount of creativity on your essay. Just make sure that you
do not overdo everything.

2. Your application essay should reveal your personality

You can make your essay interesting by portraying a four dimensional image of yourself through your
essay. You have to talk about your character as well.

Make sure that in addition to being grammatically correct, your essay must also be an expression of
your personality and character, and be persuasive enough to make a busy admissions officer to accept
your application.
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You have to portray yourself as honestly as possible. The admissions committee will surely see through
your lies.

3. Your essay should talk about your past and future

Your essay should also incorporate the things that influence you. Talking about these things will give
uniqueness to your essay since people’s experiences and influences are not exactly the same. It also
pays if you talk about your goals and dreams.

Reflect on the way you view the world. Contemplate on the things that drive you, and on the people
that have made a difference in your life. And finally what are your aspirations

Talking about these things will give an impression that you are a person who is strong enough to handle
difficulties and who is active enough to pursue his or her dreams.

4. The essay should be natural and uses specific examples

5. Your essay, in order to be noticed, should be unique and creative. It should reveal your
personality, experiences, and dreams.

19 Common mistakes that need to be avoided…

Here’s some helpful advice to help improve an application essay:

1. Select the Best Topic and Subject. If the application requires more than one essay, select
distinct topics and subject areas so the admissions people get a broader, and more complete,
picture of you. If you are an athlete, for example, try not to write more than one essay about
sports.
2. Answer the Question. Read the prompt carefully and pay particular attention to two part
questions. The admissions people are looking for a window into your character, passion and
reasoning.
3. Be Personable and Specific. Brainstorm with others. Don’t be afraid to think creatively. Don’t
be afraid to reject ideas! Most strong essays have more “show” than “tell”.
4. Make Your Essay The Right Length. If there is only an upper limit, don't stress if your essay
appears too short. Lincoln got his points across in brief in the Gettysburg address -- in less than
275 words. Be concise. Omit irrelevant details, clichés, and poorly developed ideas. Do not
distract the reader with unnecessary words and repetition.
5. Watch Your Tone. A bit of well placed humor is fine, but don’t try to be a comedian.
6. Don’t Appear Self-Interested or Materialistic. If you are applying to a business program, the
average starting salary of recent graduates should not be your stated motivation for seeking
admission!
7. Don’t Rely on Your Computer’s Spell Checker. Applicants who rely solely on their computer's
spell check program may find themselves submitting applications with poor grammar and word
choice. Just because everything is spelled properly doesn’t mean it is correct. A good way to
catch mistakes is to read your essay very slowly and out loud.
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8. Don’t Overlook the ordinary. Some essays of this type center on a moment of enlightenment
or clarification when the writer views life from a new perspective and/or gains new confidence.
9. Skip the Volunteer Trip. Dedicated community service over a period of time can be a strong
topic for an application essay.
10. Don’t Rehash the Resume. The admissions committee relies on essays to learn additional
things about you such as your initiative, curiosity about the world, personal growth, willingness
to take risks, ability to be self directed, motivation and ability to make the most of a situation.
11. Read thoroughly the Entire Application. Many applications, especially for some of the more
competitive schools, are complex and require multiple essays and short answers.
12. Don’t Fall in Love with the Thesaurus. There’s no need to use a big word in every sentence. Use
caution when showing off your extensive vocabulary.
13. Check Your Ego at the Door. Even if you are impressed with yourself, most admissions officers
don’t respond favorably to students/applicants who brag, put down others, or wax eloquent
about their amazing achievements.
14. Accentuate the Positive. Few students have a perfect resume, which is apparent in the
application. Drawing attention to weakness in an essay is generally not a good idea, unless you
were able to overcome a weakness, and make it a strong suit.
15. Proofread Carefully. Don’t let your eagerness to submit an application cause you to overlook
careless mistakes. Errors can doom your otherwise excellent application.
16. Organize Your Essay. Make sure you include enough background information about whatever
topic you are writing about so that the reader can put it into context.
17. Research the College/Company Before Writing the Essay. Pay attention to what is important to
the particular school/company and, when appropriate, consider including it in some manner in
your essay.
18. Invest in a Strong Introduction. A boring opening may cause the reader to not pay close
attention to the remainder of the essay. Design the introduction to draw them into your essay.
A well-planned essay may omit some key details in the opening forcing the reader to pay close
attention to the rest of the story.
19. Start Early and Take Your Time. Don’t wait until the last minute. Application essays almost
always take longer than you anticipate. Invest the time necessary to do it right. It should be
your best work. Ask others to review your drafts and offer comments and suggestions. Take
comments and suggestions seriously – behind every good writer is usually at least one good
editor!
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SAMPLE ESSAY 1

The Greatest Influence in My Life

It took me eighteen years to realize what an extraordinary influence my mother has been
on my life. She's the kind of person who has thoughtful discussions about which artist she would
most want to have her portrait painted by (Sergeant), the kind of mother who always has time for
her four children, and the kind of community leader who has a seat on the board of every major
project to assist Washington's impoverished citizens. Growing up with such a strong role model, I
developed many of her enthusiasms. I not only came to love the excitement of learning simply for
the sake of knowing something new, but I also came to understand the idea of giving back to the
community in exchange for a new sense of life, love, and spirit.

My mother's enthusiasm for learning is most apparent in travel. I was nine years old
when my family visited Greece. Every night for three weeks before the trip, my older brother
Peter and I sat with my mother on her bed reading Greek myths and taking notes on the Greek
Gods. Despite the fact that we were traveling with fourteen-month-old twins, we managed to be
at each ruin when the site opened at sunrise. I vividly remember standing in an empty
ampitheatre pretending to be an ancient tragedian, picking out my favorite sculpture in the
Acropolis museum, and inserting our family into modified tales of the battle at Troy. Eight years
and half a dozen passport stamps later I have come to value what I have learned on these
journeys about global history, politics and culture, as well as my family and myself.

While I treasure the various worlds my mother has opened to me abroad, my life has
been equally transformed by what she has shown me just two miles from my house. As a ten
 28

year old, I often accompanied my mother to (name deleted), a local soup kitchen and children's
center. While she attended meetings, I helped with the Summer Program by chasing children
around the building and performing magic tricks. Having finally perfected the "floating paintbrush"
trick, I began work as a full time volunteer with the five and six year old children last June. It is
here that I met Jane Doe, an exceptionally strong girl with a vigor that is contagious. At the end
of the summer, I decided to continue my work at (name deleted) as Jane’s tutor. Although the
position is often difficult, the personal rewards are beyond articulation. In the seven years since I
first walked through the doors of (name deleted), I have learned not only the idea of giving to
others, but also of deriving from them a sense of spirit.

Everything that my mother has ever done has been overshadowed by the thought
behind it. While the raw experiences I have had at home and abroad have been spectacular, I
have learned to truly value them by watching my mother. She has enriched my life with her
passion for learning, and changed it with her devotion to humanity. In her endless love of
everything and everyone she is touched by, I have seen a hope and life that is truly exceptional.
Next year, I will find a new home miles away. However, my mother will always be by my
side.

SAMPLE ESSAY 2 (Application)

Intel Job Application Essay

Essay #5 (Max 300 words)

Five Work Habits

Do you plan your work in advance? Are you more interested in the overall planning of a
project, or in specific details? What factors influence your priorities? How do you
accommodate unforeseen circumstances in your work?

For my whole life, people have asked me how I maintain such a busy schedule. The only
way that I am able to meet all of my obligations -- AP classes, college courses, science
research, three varsity sports, two musical instruments and peer tutoring – is through
efficient time management. My first priority is always my academic work, with sports,
music and fun filling up my left-over time.
 29

When I begin a project, I try not to plan all of the work in advance. I develop a general
approach and then roll up my sleeves and get to work. I am a big believer in mental
momentum, meaning that when I begin to make progress and things seem to be running
smoothly, I try not to break the energy. In the same way, when I approach a task, I try to
envision how the whole process will work. Once that is conceptualized in my mind, I focus
on the details making sure they are correct as I go, so I won't have to go back to incomplete
or inaccurate portions of the task.

I accommodate unforeseen circumstances by keeping my mind open and my attitude

positive. For instance, when my initial mentor had to resign due to poor health, I did not
become demoralized; I simply identified the most respected number theorist in my area of
study and contacted him. This experience reflects my personal optimism in that I always
believe there is an attainable solution, and it is my job to find the approach which will yield
the desired result. Once I determine the best course of action, I work tirelessly and
thoughtfully and am willing to put in as much time and effort as it takes to make the goal a
reality.

Hands-on : Write an essay on how to develop self-confidence. Use transitions and limit your essay
from 150-225 words.
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APPENDICES
APPENDIX (Process Essay)

Suggested transition words to lead readers through your essay

Process essays are generally organized according to time: that is, they begin with the first step in the
process and proceed in time until the last step in the process. It's natural, then, that transition words
indicate that one step has been completed and a new one will begin. Some common transitional words
used in process essays are listed below:

One Another
Transition
time time

TIME
After a few hours, Immediately following,
Afterwards, Initially,
At last In the end,
At the same time, In the future,
Before In the meantime,
Before this, In the meanwhile,
 31

Currently, Last, Last but not least, Lastly,

During Later,
Eventually, Meanwhile,
Finally, Next, Soon after,
First, Second, Third, etc. Previously,
First of all, Simultaneously,
Formerly Subsequently,

Immediately before, Then,

APPENDIX (Descriptive Essay)

Descriptive Adjectives List
List of Descriptive Adjectives List of Descriptive Adjectives List of Descriptive Adjectives
Describing Appearance Describing Personality Describing Feelings
Adorable Aggressive Afraid
Attractive Ambitious Angry
Alluring Amused Anxious
Beautiful Brave Bad
Bewildered Bright Bored
Confident Cruel Calm
Cheerful Combative Confused
Cultured Co-operative Comfortable
Clumsy Cowardly Creepy
Drab Dangerous Depressed
Dull Diligent Disturbed
Dynamic Determined Dominating
Disillusioned Disagreeable Deceitful
Elegant Evil Envious
Fair Frank Faithful
Filthy Fearless Fine
Gentle Generous Good
Glamorous Gifted Grieving
Handsome Helpful Horrible
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Homely Harmonious Happy

Hurt Hesitant Hungry
Ill-mannered Instinctive Ill
Jolly Jealous Jovial
Kind-hearted Knowledgeable Kind
Lovely Loner Lively
Magnificent Mysterious Mature
Nervous Naughty Nice
Pleasant Pleasing Proud
Perfect Placid Peaceful
Plucky Punctual Protective
Smiling Successful Sorrowful
Splendid Sedate Silly
Self-assured Sincere Sombre
Snobbish Selfish Sore
Thoughtful Talented Tired
Tense Thrifty Troubled
Timid Truculent Testy
Upset Unbiased Unwell
Vivacious Voracious Vengeful
Wonderful Witty Wicked
Worried Wise Weary
Wild Warm Wrong
Zaftig Zany Zestful
eg- What an adorable baby! eg- He was a brave knight. eg- She was in a jovial mood.

Following is a list of descriptive adjectives that describe shape, sound, size, time and quantity.

List of Descriptive List of Descriptive List of Descriptive List of Descriptive

Adjectives Describing Adjectives Describing Adjectives Describing Adjectives Describing
Shape Size Time Quantity
Broad Big Ancient Abundant
Crooked Colossal Annual Bountiful
Circular Great Brief Cumbersome
Distorted Gigantic Early Empty
Flat Huge Fast Extra
Hollow Large Late Few
Narrow Miniature Modern Heavy
Round Mammoth Old Myriad
Square Petite Rapid Many
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Skinny Tall Swift Multiple

Steep Thin Slow Numerous
Wide Tiny Young Substantial
eg- A skinny boy eg- A miniature train eg- An ancient manuscript eg- Myriad stars

The following descriptive adjectives list qualify nouns related to sound, taste, touch and color.

List of Descriptive List of Descriptive List of Descriptive List of Descriptive

Adjectives Describing Adjectives Describing Adjectives Describing Adjectives Describing
Sound Taste Touch Color
Blaring Bitter Hard Azure
Cooing Delicious Loose Aqua
Deafening Fresh Rough Blue
Loud Hot Smooth Black
Melancholic Icy Slippery Crimson
Noisy Juicy Sticky Cyan
Soft Spicy Sharp Gold
Shrill Sweet Scattered Green
Squeaking Sour Soft Magenta
Silent Salty Tender Orange
Thundering Tasty Uneven Pink
Whispering Tasteless Wet Turquoise
eg- Blaring loudspeaker eg- Delicious pastry eg- Rough surface eg- Green diamond
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