Meghan Draudt

EDES 640

Week 7: Teacher Feedback

Student 1, Grade 2, Paper 1

Feedback

The point of this assignment is to write about the step-by-step process of planting

a seed using transition words. In your writing, you followed directions and explained all

the steps involved in planting a seed. You used transition words to introduce each step

and start each sentence. Your use of transition words was more consistent in this

assignment than in the last writing assignment and I was able to easily follow the steps.

After the first draft, I noticed you edited your work very quickly. It is in this editing step

that you can look for mistakes in spelling and punctuation. When you look back through

your writing, do you see any spelling mistakes you may have missed? What strategy

could you use to find the words you misspelled? Perhaps you could slow down, read your

sentences aloud, and sound out words, just as we have as a class with reading

assignments. Lets try that strategy with what you wrote for step 1.

Rationale

The feedback I gave was in the context of a writing conference with the student. I

began by explaining the goal of the assignment to eliminate any confusion when

providing feedback. Hattie (2012) explains, With a clear goal in mind, students are

more likely to actively seek and listen to feedback (p.20). Therefore, beginning with the

goal will make students more receptive of feedback. I then discussed how the student

addressed the goal in his or her writing, which in this case was positive feedback. I
refrained from using value judgments in my feedback, such as great job following

directions because the evaluative language serves no useful function (Wiggins, 2012,

p.15). I instead focused on identifying what the student did well by pointing out specific

strengths in the assignment. The goal of the assignment is to write the step-by-step

process of planting a bean and I compared the students use of transition words to his or

her work on the previous step-by-step writing assignment, thus giving the student a point

of reference and highlighting how the student has improved. I ended my comments with

process feedback. Assuming I was walking around the room as students work, I

commented on my observation that the student completed the editing process quickly. I

then clarified the function of the editing step to eliminate any confusion. Finally, I asked

the student to consider strategies for editing spelling mistakes and offered a suggestion of

a strategy reviewed in class. Before ending the writing conference, I asked the student to

use the strategy to edit a small section of the assignment to ensure my suggestion was

clear and can be used on the next assignment.

Next Steps

` The student is writing at grade level and uses spelling patterns and writing

conventions typical of a second grade student. The writing assignment reveals the

students strengths in vocabulary, following directions, and relating information through

writing. Although the students spelling is consistent with those of other second grade

students, this students next steps would include a focus on phonological awareness and

spelling. Many of the spelling errors appear to have resulted from mistakes in sounding

out the word. For example, the student spells the word things as dings, which

indicates an error in phonological awareness of English rather than simply spelling.

writing, it is still important to strive to reduce these errors. To start, I would begin to

work with the student more frequently in small groups and independently on

phonological awareness skills, such as by using phoneme magnets. I would then transfer

these lessons to other reading and writing assignments, keeping the strategies consistent

across subjects. In reviewing writing assignments, I would first draw attention to words

with inaccurate initial or final sounds, such as firs for first rather than misspelled

words such as been for bean that are difficult to sound out.

Student 2, Grade 3, Paper 3

Feedback

You worked on a fun creative writing assignment to answer the prompt If I won

a million dollars and wrote about your ideas of what you would like to do with the

money. Will you read your work to me? You listed many ideas for what you could buy

with the money, both for yourself and for your family. You stayed on topic with the

prompt by including several ideas, but the sentences are jumbled here, here, and here

[point to writing]. Which idea did you enjoy writing about the most? Why? Perhaps you

could choose three of your favorite ideas and write two sentences for each idea. What

strategy could you use to organize your thoughts? An outline may help you to keep your

ideas and supporting details clear. For example, in rewriting your sentences, keep the

details you have already included, such as who the item is for or where you will put it,

and add one more reason for why you would buy the item in the second sentence.

Rationale
 This paper has many areas for improvement, including a need for meaningful

detail, English vocabulary and language structures, and reducing the presence of the

students first language. While all of these skills need to be addressed, I focused on just

one skill when giving feedback for this assignment rather than create a buzz of

information coming in from all sides (Wiggins, 2012, p.14). I began by clarifying the

purpose of the assignment and asked the student to read the paragraph aloud. Hearing the

student read may eliminate some confusion regarding vocabulary and sentence structure.

I then recognized that the student followed directions and included many creative ideas in

his or her response. After this acknowledgement, I asked the student about the writing

process and what ideas he or she was excited to write about. This reflective conversation

served to introduce the concept of providing more detail so the subsequent feedback

would be meaningful. I asked the student about strategies he or she could use to clarify

sentences and provided process feedback about where to start. I ended my feedback with

task feedback to clarify what the student needs to do to improve his or her performance

of that task (Hattie, 2012, p.21). The student then has an idea of where to start on the

next draft or on a similar assignment in the future.

Next Steps

For this assignment, I chose to focus on sentence structure despite the need for

feedback on vocabulary and English language consistency. In focusing on sentence

structure, the next step is to provide supports to help the student develop a formula when

writing. For example, an outline with lines for three main points and one or two details

for each point would help the student understand how a paragraph or paper should be

structured. After several assignments using the outline, scaffolding can gradually
decrease until the student is writing without the supports, possibly with an example

outline to reference as needed. Although the feedback did not focus on vocabulary, I

would also make note of these areas for improvement and teach the student strategies to

use when unsure of the vocabulary word in English, such as by using a Spanish to

English dictionary when editing work.

References

Hattie, J. (2012). Know Thy Impact. Educational Leadership, 70(1), 18-23.

Wiggins, G. (2012). Seven keys to effective feedback. Educational Leadership, 70(1),

10-16.