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DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills

The document discusses three sets of interpersonal effectiveness skills: objective effectiveness, relationship effectiveness, and self-respect effectiveness. Objective effectiveness focuses on getting what you want using the D.E.A.R. M.A.N. method. Relationship effectiveness emphasizes fostering positive interactions using G.I.V.E. Self-respect effectiveness involves being fair, avoiding unnecessary apologies, sticking to your values, and being truthful as outlined by F.A.S.T.

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2K views2 pages

DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills

The document discusses three sets of interpersonal effectiveness skills: objective effectiveness, relationship effectiveness, and self-respect effectiveness. Objective effectiveness focuses on getting what you want using the D.E.A.R. M.A.N. method. Relationship effectiveness emphasizes fostering positive interactions using G.I.V.E. Self-respect effectiveness involves being fair, avoiding unnecessary apologies, sticking to your values, and being truthful as outlined by F.A.S.T.

Uploaded by

sepseppp
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
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Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills

Learning to get along with others while also asserting your own needs is
essential to healthy relationships. It can be difficult to balance your own
needs and the needs of others. How can you get what you need without
being aggressive or neglecting of the needs of others? There are three
sets of skills you will learn to help achieve this goal: objective effectiveness,
relationship effectiveness, and self-respect effectiveness.

Objective Effectiveness (D.E.A.R. M.A.N.)

What is the goal of an interaction? Objective effectiveness is about


getting what you want out of a situation. The acronym D.E.A.R. M.A.N. will
remind you how to clearly express your needs or desires.

Use clear and concrete terms to describe what you want.


Describe Dont say: Could you please clean?
Do say: Could you do the dishes before going to bed?

Let others know how a situation makes you feel by clearly


Express expressing your feelings. Dont expect others to read your
mind. Try using this line: I feel ___ because ___.

Dont beat around the bushsay what you need to say.


Assert Dont say: Oh, well, I dont know if I can cook tonight or not.
Do say: I wont be able to cook because Im working late.

Reward people who respond well, and reinforce why your


Reinforce desired outcome is positive. This can be as simple as a smile
and a thank you.

Dont forget the objective of the interaction. It can be easy to


Mindful
get sidetracked into harmful arguments and lose focus.

Appear confident. Consider your posture, tone, eye contact,


Appear
and body language.

No one can have everything they want out of an interaction


Negotiate all the time. Be open to negotiation.
Do say: If you wash the dishes, Ill put them away.

Provided by TherapistAid.com 2015


Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills
Relationship Effectiveness (G.I.V.E.)

Relationships arent only about getting what we needtheyre also about


the other person. The acronym G.I.V.E. will help you achieve relationship
effectiveness by fostering positive interactions.

Dont attack, threaten or express judgment during your


Gentle
interactions. Accept the occasional no for your requests.

Show interest by listening to the other person without


Interested
interrupting.

Be outwardly validating to the other persons thoughts and


Validate feelings. Acknowledge their feelings, recognize when your
requests are demanding, and respect their opinions.

Easy Have an easy attitude. Try to smile and act lighthearted.

Self-Respect Effectiveness (F.A.S.T.)

Sometimes in relationships you might find yourself betraying your own


values and beliefs to receive approval or to get what you want. The
acronym F.A.S.T. will help you achieve self-respect effectiveness.

Fair Be fair. Not only to others, but also to yourself.

Dont apologize unless its warranted. Dont apologize for


Apologies
making a request, having an opinion, or disagreeing.

Stick to Dont compromise your values just to be liked or to get what


Values you want. Stand up for what you believe in.

Avoid dishonesty such as exaggeration, acting helpless as a


Truthful
form of manipulation, or outright lying.

Provided by TherapistAid.com 2015

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