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IELTS Writing Samples

This document discusses the transfer of diseases between generations and the benefits of modern medicine and technology in detecting diseases. It notes that disease transfer from one generation to another is common and can end or destroy lives. Therefore, knowing family history and understanding generational history is important, as is using modern medicine and technology to analyze genes and discover diseases.

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Zahraa Lotfy
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0% found this document useful (0 votes)
94 views

IELTS Writing Samples

This document discusses the transfer of diseases between generations and the benefits of modern medicine and technology in detecting diseases. It notes that disease transfer from one generation to another is common and can end or destroy lives. Therefore, knowing family history and understanding generational history is important, as is using modern medicine and technology to analyze genes and discover diseases.

Uploaded by

Zahraa Lotfy
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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No need to write this information

its drawbacks.

Excellent intro!

immense ( wrong here)

Its undeniable that disease


transfer

from a generation to another is


immensely common( It has to be a
full sentence); ..

which may end/ destroy their


lives.

. Therefore, ( please do not


overuse the semicolon : )

Many parents

illnesses

Modern medicine together with


technology

the genes of babies

knowing about family history, understanding the history of families,

Most people

immigerate from one country to another; this leads to having generation who knows
too little about ..

You tend to over-use the gerund ( leading to , contributing to )

to the loss of identity..

the internet

people not persons

detect is a wrong word, you can use find, realize, encounter, discover)
Change Also

strengthened/ enhanced better


than increased

The ideas isnt clear here

a debatable issue

avoid is a better word than inhibit (


avoiding transferring diseases to the
new generations.)

diseases

Just again, you have focus on using new words at the expense of accuracy. Your vocab range is
excellent; However, you need to try as much as you can to use it accurately. Id go with band 6 (
Sorry).

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