2014

Teaching Young Children about Personal Safety

in ECE programs- Challenging Conversations

by Abbie Schiller & Pattie Fitzgerald

Abbie’s Bio & Story

• Founder & CEO of

The Mother Company
• Background in PR &
Marketing
• Children’s Show Creator,
Producer
• Children's Author
• Mom

(follow the company @TheMotherCo

or Abbie @Mocomama)

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 2

Abbie’s Bio & Story

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 3

Pattie’s Bio

• Child Safety Advocate &

Prevention Educator for
over 14 years
• Keynote Speaker
• Court Appointed
Visitation Monitor
• Former Preschool
Teacher
• Children's Author
• Mom

www.safelyeverafter.com

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 4

Pattie’s Story

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 5

POLL 1

POLL

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 6

 Seminar Goal

• a different and more

effective way to keep
I’m the boss children safe
of my body!

• the myth of stranger-danger

• authentic child-friendly
language and concepts that
work

Hope that everyone comes away with new skills to

share with their children.
The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 7
POLL 2

POLL

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 8

Safety Statistics:

90% of child
sexual abuse
happens to
children by
SOMEONE THEY
KNOW, not by a
stranger.

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 9

Safety Statistics:
Myth vs. Reality: What does a predator look like?

VS

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 10

Stranger Danger VS Tricky People:

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 11

Most Commonly Asked Questions

How do I talk about strangers?

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 12

“Grooming”

• 89% of offenders gain

access to children
through “grooming”
• How to recognize a
“tricky person”
• The most common
lures & tricks a
predator uses
• Red Flags and Warning
Signs

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 13

 Safety Statistics:

Approximately 40% of abusers are family

members or someone close within the
family’s inner circle.
The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 14
 Safety Statistics:

1 in 10 children are sexually exploited

by the age of 18
The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 15
Safety Statistics:

Two elements must be present for a predator

to victimize a child:
ACCESS AND PRIVACY
The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 16
 Safety Statistics:

Most vulnerable age range: 9-12

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 17
Safety Statistics:

• 39 million survivors of
sexual abuse in US
today
• Childhood sexual
abuse is one of the
most under-reported
crimes
• Occurs among all
socioeconomic,
educational, racial,
and cultural groups.
The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 18
 Use Empowering Language:

• Parent and Teacher Guidelines

• Language for talking to children in an effective, non-
fearful manner
The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 19
 The Super Ten “Safe Smarts” for kids

1. I AM THE BOSS OF MY BODY!

2. I know my NAME, ADDRESS, & PHONE NUMBER, and my parents’ names.
3. Safe Grownups Don’t Ask Kids for Help!!
4. I never go ANYWHERE or take ANYTHING from someone I don’t know.
5. I must “CHECK FIRST” with my safe grownup for permission: before I go
anywhere, change my plans, or get into a car even if it’s with someone I know.
6. Everybody’s bathing suit areas are PRIVATE.
7. I don’t have to be POLITE, if someone makes me feel scared or uncomfortable.
It’s okay to say NO… even to a grownup, if I have to.
8. I don’t keep SECRETS… especially if they make me feel scared or uneasy.
9. If I ever get LOST in a public place, I can FREEZE & YELL or go to a Mom with
Kids and ask for help.
10. I will always pay attention to my Special Inner Voice, especially if I get an “uh-
oh” feeling.

www.SafelyEverAfter.com

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 20

The Super Ten “Safe Smarts” for kids

I AM THE BOSS
OF MY BODY!

www.SafelyEverAfter.com

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 21

Resources for teachers:

Free teaching guide download at:

TheMotherCo.com
under “downloads”
The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 22
The Super Ten “Safe Smarts” for kids

I know my NAME,
ADDRESS, & PHONE
NUMBER, and my
parents’ names.

www.SafelyEverAfter.com

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 23

Safety Cuff Craft

Duct Tape safety cuffs craft with child’s

Safe Adult phone number on the inside.
Close with velcro.

Craft ho- to video at: http://bit.ly/1sBv76S

(or search TheMotherCo.com for “safety
cuff video”)

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 24

The Super Ten “Safe Smarts” for kids

Safe Grownups Don’t

Ask Kids for Help!!

www.SafelyEverAfter.com

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 25

The Super Ten “Safe Smarts” for kids

I never go ANYWHERE
or take ANYTHING
from someone I don’t
know.

www.SafelyEverAfter.com

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 26

The Super Ten “Safe Smarts” for kids

I must “CHECK FIRST”

with my safe grownup
for permission: before I
go anywhere, change
my plans, or get into a
car even if it’s with
someone I know.

www.SafelyEverAfter.com

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 27

The Super Ten “Safe Smarts” for kids

Everybody’s
bathing suit areas
are PRIVATE.

www.SafelyEverAfter.com

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 28

The Super Ten “Safe Smarts” for kids

I don’t have to be
POLITE, if someone
makes me feel
scared or
uncomfortable. It’s
okay to say NO…
even to a grownup,
if I have to.

www.SafelyEverAfter.com
The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 29
The Super Ten “Safe Smarts” for kids

I don’t keep
SECRETS…
especially if they
make me feel scared
or uneasy.

www.SafelyEverAfter.com

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 30

 The Super Ten “Safe Smarts” for kids

If I ever get LOST in a public place, I can FREEZE &

YELL or go to a Mom with Kids and ask for help.
www.SafelyEverAfter.com
The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 31
The Super Ten “Safe Smarts” for kids

I will always pay

attention to my
Special Inner
Voice, especially
if I get an “uh-
oh” feeling.

www.SafelyEverAfter.com

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 32

What to avoid:

• Good Touch/Bad Touch

• Scary Words (i.e.
kidnapping)
• Scary concepts (i.e.
stranger danger)
• Minimize a child’s “uh-
oh feeling”
• Over protecting

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 33

Preschool safety:

• Sign ins and Sign outs

• List of safe adults (save the
password for 8+ yrs)
• Giving children a choice of
how to greet people/say
goodbye
• Be aware of regular
outsiders (Delivery people,
volunteers, etc)

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 34

POLL 3

POLL

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 35

A Parent’s Role:

• Minimize the risk to

their children
• Do due diligence
• Recognize grooming
tricks
• Educate and empower
our children
• Strike a balance
Helicopter Parent

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 36

A Teacher’s Role:
• To empower kids with
right language

• Respectful boundaries
for all students

• Mindful of any child

who is at risk

• To take action when

necessary

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 37

Working with kids on a spectrum:

• 4x more likely to
be abused

• more likely to get

lost/wander

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 38

Working with kids on a spectrum:

1. Why its hard

2. Why its necessary
3. How to do it
The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 39
Working with kids on a spectrum:

1. Determine how the

child learns:
• Visual
• Tactile
• Auditory

2. What challenges do
they face?

3. Know who’s working

with them
The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 40
How teachers can talk to parents
about safety:

1. Establish Trust
2. Document any concerns
3. Help parents with the
right language
4. Re-assure the child is safe

Parents look to teachers for

guidance

Be their expert

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 41

Most Commonly Asked Questions
• A preschooler is showing his
private parts in school. What
do I do?

? • Does this behavior indicate

abuse?

• Normal developmental
curiosity vs hyper sexuality

• How do I talk about

strangers?
The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 42
 Possible Signs in Children

How do I handle reasonable suspicion if I think a

child is at risk?
The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 43
Summary

Child Safety Is An Adult

Responsibility
• Listen to Your Instinct
• Minimize the Risks
• Get the Dialog Going
• Keep It Positive!
• Knowledge is Power

The Mother Company| www.TheMotherCo.com 44

 Thank you!
www.TheMotherCo.com
Contact Abbie Schiller – [email protected] - 310.826.2400
Pattie Fitzgerald – [email protected]
Door Prize: 3 sets of 3 products!

46