.

1 WOM
No

£2 EN
THE

’S
G LO

NE
SS ZI M AY 2 0 1 8
Y M AGA

THE STREET
SWIPE STYLE...whoSTAR
RIGHT!
The most fancied
fooled
the fashion
world
people on Tinder
(Did you make the list?)

HOW TOP
LEADERS
THINK...
WHY THEIR IDEAS WILL
TRANSFORM YOUR 9-5

DEATH RED ALERT!

BY SOCIAL
MEDIA
ZOE
SALDANA
IS FEELING TALKATIVE.
We played the game HOLLYWOOD, BE AFRAID
young women are 05
dying to win 9 770141 055290
By D A N I E L L A S C O T T WWW.COSMOPOLITAN.COM/UK
 MAY
2018

✱ On the cover
66 HOW TOP LEADERS
THINK… Why their ideas
will transform your 9-5
72 RED ALERT! Zoe Saldana
onten 72
Inside the bright and
is feeling talkative. beautiful mind of
Hollywood, be afraid Zoe Saldana

80 DEATH BY SOCIAL MEDIA

We played the game young
women are dying to win
86 THE STREET STYLE STAR
…who fooled the fashion world
93 SWIPE RIGHT! The most
fancied people on Tinder
(Did you make the list?)

✱ Know
9 SPLICE UP YOUR LIFE
Top TV shows are set to join
forces – get tuned in
10 HAVE YOU MET..? Talking to
Australian actor Louis Hunter
set us up for a very g’day
12 CONFESSIONS Just when
we think you’re done
embarrassing yourselves…
14 UNCHARTED FESTIVALS
Pining for Glastonbury? Pah!
Try an alternative gathering
16 CATCH-UP CHEAT SHEET
Want to watch the new series
of a show, but missed the first?
Allow us to help…
18 KEEP IT SHORT If you like
your stories like you like your
drink (short, sharp and full of
the good stuff), you’ll love these
20 MY CULTURED LIFE
Turns out even singer Anne-
Marie’s a reality-TV addict
23 THE COMPASS This month’s
cultural ups and downs

4 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
ts
AND BELT, BOTH PHILOSOPHY DI LORENZO SERAFINI. EARRINGS, DINNY HALL. SUBSCRIBER COVER: DRESS, ISABEL MARANT. EARRINGS, MONICA VINADER. BRACELET, MIANSAI. RING (LEFT HAND), ZOE’S OWN. RING (RIGHT
COVER PHOTOGRAPH MAX ABADIAN. SENIOR FASHION EDITOR SAIREY STEMP. FASHION ASSISTANT MADDY ALFORD. HAIR MARA ROSZAK AT STARWORKS ARTISTS, USING LIVING PROOF. MAKE-UP VERA STEIMBERG AT
CRITERION GROUP, USING CHANEL AND NARS COSMETICS. NAILS TINA AU, USING SECHE VITE TOP COAT. PROP STYLING DANNY DIAMOND. PRODUCTION A+ PRODUCTIONS. ZOE WEARS, NEWSSTAND COVER: PLAYSUIT

✱ Glow
25 READY FOR THIS JELLY? This
new way to wear perfume has
us feeling very Destiny’s Child
26 SPLIT LIP Painless, we promise
112
Laid-back spring
style vibes,
we see you
✱ Earn
65 NEW CAREER BREWING
How blogging on the job
could help you take home
the big bucks
71 SELF MADE Entrepreneur
Anna Jones on the business
of finding your career calling

✱ Read
104 WOULD YOU PAY £2,000 FOR
PERFECT HAIR? Because that
27 HOT RIGHT NOW! We’ve a means a lot less to spend in Zara
serious case of the beauty blues 112 DESERT ROSE Pastel pink
28 PERIOD EFFING WITH and earthy tones were made
YOUR FACE? Banish bloating, to be together
spots and eye-bags for good
32 INGE HAS ISSUES… but it’s ✱ Lust
nothing a little magic can’t help
34 BEAUTY LAB Foolproof facial 127 RUBBER STAMP IT Why you’ll
tanning that won’t make you soon be signing sex contracts…
look like Donald Trump 128 “THERE’S A BIG
HAND), MIANSAI. THIS SPREAD: TOP, SKIRT, BRIEFS, BELT, ALL NO.21. PHOTOGRAPHS, THIS PAGE SAM COPELAND, ANTONIO PETRONZIO, LOUISA PARRY

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
✱ Move POLYAMORY & SWINGING…”
This month, our columnist
37 LET IT JUJU-BE Berries: set enjoys an extra-marital

93
to be bigger than The Beatles? tryst with a twist
38 THE DARK SIDE OF SELF 130 MY BEST SEX EVER WAS…
CARE The untold story of Dating tips from with another woman
wellness retreats gone bad Tinder’s top 30? 131 WORST DATES EVER A date
Oh, go on then
42 ENERGY HIIT Work out like a who thinks we’re sort of pretty…
celebrity and the bank balance/ from very far away. No, thanks
global adoration will follow, yes? 132 FIRST LOVE We sent two exes
44 WATER BABY Swimwear out for dinner and there were
worth getting wet for fireworks alright…

✱ Wear ✱ Play
49 PUMP IT UP Stop.everything. 135 JOIN THE FLASH PACK Group
Shoes designed in collaboration trips just got cool. No, really
with Alexa Chung have arrived 136 BEACH, PLEASE In need of
50 IT’S ALL IN THE DETAIL sun and zen? These destinations
64 reasons you’ll want to be deliver on both counts
called ‘Bag Lady’ this summer
58 HEY, HOW DO I WEAR… ✱ And the rest…
Yellow?
60 HELLO SUNSHINE If these 6 MEET TEAM COSMOPOLITAN
new shade shapes don’t make
you feel excited for summer,
28
How to stop your
7 FROM THE EDITOR
146 COSMOPOLITAN CONTRACT
we don’t know what will period making The money diet ◆
your face sad

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 5
 RANDOM
QUESTION OF
THE MONTH
FARRAH STORR What’s the
Editor-in-Chief best backhanded
Editorial Assistant DANIELLA SCOTT compliment
you’ve ever
Deputy Editor SHOSHANA GOLDBERG Creative Director STUART SELNER
received?
Associate Editor AMY GRIER

“You have such lovely ENT ER TA I N MEN T

Entertainment Director LOTTIE LUMSDEN
[looks me up and down
desperately]… thumbs.” FEATU R ES
Senior Editor CATRIONA INNES
Features Writer JENNIFER SAVIN Acting Features Intern KATE PASOLA
A former colleague once
DESI GN said, “Aww, you’re really
Art Director VICTORIA HORN happy for a change. Are
Senior Designer JESSICA LOCKETT you on something?”
PI CTU R ES
Picture Director CAT COSTELLOE Picture Editor NICOLE HOLCROFT-EMMESS
One guy on Tinder’s P RODU CTI ON
opening line was, “You Workflow Director CHRISTINA SIMONE
look like Natalie Dormer Chief Sub-Editor HANNAH JONES Deputy Chief Sub-Editor STEPHANIE JACKSON
from Game Of Thrones!
Because you also B EAU TY
have a wonky mouth.” Beauty Director INGEBORG VAN LOTRINGEN Beauty Editor CASSIE POWNEY
I mean, I’ll take it... Beauty Writer LUCY PARTINGTON
“Your hair’s great ’cause
FASHI ON you can tell you literally
Fashion Director AMY BANNERMAN Senior Fashion Editor SAIREY STEMP do nothing with it. Like,
Bookings Editor SOPHIE LEEN Fashion Assistant MADDY ALFORD do you even brush it?”
COS M O POLI TA N .COM/ U K Er, yeah... sometimes.
Digital Editor CLAIRE HODGSON Fashion & Lifestyle Editor JESS EDWARDS
News & Entertainment Editor ANNA LEWIS Beauty Editor VICTORIA JOWETT
Social Media Manager LAUREN SMITH Senior Writer CATRIONA HARVEY-JENNER
Writer DUSTY BAXTER-WRIGHT Fashion & Beauty Writer LAURA CAPON
“God, you’re tall, Sex & Relationships Writer PAISLEY GILMOUR Snapchat Editor CHARLOTTE WARWICK
aren’t you?” Multimedia Producer ALEX HERING Snapchat Animator CHARLOTTE TEMPLE

CON TR I B U TOR S A kid I used to babysit told

AMANDA STATHAM (Travel)
me I was “special”. When I,
blushing, asked why, she said,
Managing Editor DEBBIE BLACK (maternity) “Because your nose points
Acting Group Managing Editor CONNIE OSBORNE Finance Business Partner EMMA JONES downwards but everyone
else’s points upwards.”
P RES ID ENT AND CHI EF EXECU TI VE OFFI CER
JAMES WILDMAN
H EARST M AGAZ INE S U K HEA R ST MAGA ZI N ES I N TER N ATI ON A L
Executive Assistant to the President and Chief Executive Officer FAYE McNULTY Senior Vice President, Managing Director Asia Pacific & Russia SIMON HORNE
Chief Financial Officer/Chief Operating Officer CLAIRE BLUNT Director of International Licensing & Business Development RICHARD BEAN
Chief Strategy Officer ROBERT FFITCH Chief Operations Director CLARE GORMAN Senior Vice President/Editorial & Brand Director KIM ST CLAIR BODDEN
Chief Agency Officer JANE WOLFSON HR Director SURINDER SIMMONS Deputy Brands Director CHLOE O’BRIEN
Head of PR FAY JENNINGS Director, Hearst Live VICTORIA ARCHBOLD 020 7312 4105 Fashion/Entertainment Director KRISTEN INGERSOLL
MD, Hearst Brand Services JUDITH SECOMBE Marketing & Circulation Director REID HOLLAND International Editions Editor JACQUELYN GALGEY
Head of Consumer Sales & Marketing MATTHEW BLAIZE-SMITH Editor-in-Chief, Cosmopolitan (1965-1997) HELEN GURLEY BROWN
Head of Subscriptions JUSTINE BOUCHER Head of Marketing Promotions CHARLOTTE CUNLIFFE
I N TER N ATI ON A L EDI TI ON S
Digital Marketing Director SEEMA KUMARI Deputy Head of PR BEN BOLTON
Argentina Editor, Australia KESHNEE KEMP Brazil CRISTINA NAUMOVS
Head of Business Management LUCY PORTER
Bulgaria Chile China YVONNE LIU Croatia ALEKSANDRA ORLIĆ
Luxury Business Manager ROSALIE ATKINSON-WILLES 020 7439 5615
Czech Republic SABRINA KARASOVA Finland STINA MANTYNIEMI
H EARST CO M M E RCI A L France MARIE LA FONTA Germany ANJA DELASTIK
Chief Brand Officer DUNCAN CHATER Hong Kong RUQIYAH LAW KAM YING Hungary JOHANNA SABJÁN
Executive Assistant to the Chief Brand Officer NATASHA MANN India NANDINI BHALLA Indonesia FILISYA THUNGGAWAN
MD, Beauty JACQUI CAVE MD, Fashion & Luxury JACQUELINE EUWE Italy FRANCESCA DELOGU Kazakhstan Korea HYUN JOO KIM
MD, Fitness & Health ALUN WILLIAMS Director of Homes JULIA GOODWIN Latin America LUCÍA SOTELO SANTOS Latvia Lithuania VIOLETA KALIKAUSKIENE
Director of Travel DENISE DEGROOT Director of Motors JIM CHAUDRY Malaysia Middle East KAVITA SRINIVASAN Mongolia
Client Director, Personal Finance JACQUIE DUCKWORTH Netherlands ANNE MARIJE DE VRIES LENTSCH Philippines MARLA MINIANO
Client Direct Director, Fashion & Beauty EMMA BARNES Poland HANNA WOLSKA Romania DIANA COLCER Russia ALIONA PENEVA
Director of Client Sales MATT HAYES Hearst Direct Manager LUCY PENNY Serbia NASJA VELJKOVIC Slovenia MANCA ČAMPA PAVLIN
Group Agency Director SARAH TSIRKAS Regional Director DANIELLE SEWELL South Africa HOLLY MEADOWS Spain CECILIA MÚZQUIZ HERRERO
Luxury Directors SHARON DAVIES RIDGWAY, LEE BAILEY, JHAN HANCOCK-RUSHTON Sri Lanka KINITA SHENOY Turkey OZLEM KOTAN
Head of Classified LEE RIMMER Ukraine OLEKSANDRA BURYNSKA USA MICHELE PROMAULAYKO

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Poland by Quad/Graphics Europe
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6 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 FROM THE
EDITOR
H
ave you noticed how hushed everyone has
suddenly become? Have you noticed how people
suddenly stumble over their words a little more
than they used to, clutching for phrases that
wound no one and yet mean nothing? I have.
A friend of mine recently confided she no longer speaks
up at dinner parties for fear her political stance will not
chime with those around her. An ex-colleague, meanwhile,
explained how she had been publicly ‘shamed’ for not
sharing the same feminist principles as others in her Because here’s the thing: we need diverse thoughts. We
office. Multiple young women I know – smart, liberal, need people who challenge and, yes, occasionally rattle
enlightened folk – have shuttered their social-media us. Some of the greatest inventions and most momentous
accounts because of the backlash they have faced when events in history only came about by conflicting ideas,
PHOTOGRAPH IAN HARRISON. HAIR AND MAKE-UP SHARI RENDLE. ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS MAX ABADIAN. *SOAS UNIVERSITY OF LONDON

their views do not match those of the masses. thoughts and personalities coming together. It is now
Given we live in one of the most progressive times in largely accepted, for example, that part of Britain’s success
history, a time when diversity is rightfully being forced in defeating Nazi Germany was down to the conflict
to the top of agendas, isn’t it ironic that it has come to between Winston Churchill and his Chief of Staff, Alan
this? Because let us not forget, diversity is about much Brooke. The two men had vastly different approaches
more than the colour of our skin and the class into to the war, and yet the tension between their opposing
which we were born. Diversity is not only a place where viewpoints is what created a winning result.
everyone looks and speaks differently; it’s a place where True diversity is not when everyone looks different but
people should be able to think and feel differently ay lead to initial change –
thinks the same. Sure, that may
without the threat of verbal admonishment. but it doesn’t lead to
I often ask my team to disagree with me. In meetings long-lasting progress.
I can get wildly carried away with an idea (I am acutely And surely that’s the one
aware of their glazed expressions and smirks when this thing we all agree on.
happens), and so rely on their divergent opinions to 4 Keep in touch by following
challenge me. We don’t always agree on things, that’s me on Twitter @Farrah_Storr FARRAH ST
for sure. But then, that’s also kind of the point. and Instagram @farrahstorr tor-in-Ch

DIFFERENT
VOICES ZOE SALDANA ANNA JONES BARONESS WARSI ROSETTE BARONESS AMOS
Women I love who Our cover star is not My former boss, who The House of Lords’ PAMBAKIAN The first black
only vocal about men put me at the helm youngest member Tinder’s VP of Brand woman to lead a
are leading diverse being part of #MeToo, of this magazine, is and the first Muslim & Communications UK university*, this
but is forging the way setting the agenda woman to serve in has brought diversity total badass works
conversations for Hispanic actors in for women in the cabinet. She to the app, pushing tirelessly to promote
Hollywood with her business with her gives women of through its gender- greater diversity in
around the world media platform BESE. company AllBright. all faiths a voice. identity options. higher education.

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 7
 IF IT’S HOT , I T ’ S I N H E R E ...
WORDS JENNIFER SAVIN, MEGAN LEVERS. PHOTOGRAPH ALEKSANDA KINGO. PROP STYLING ELENA HORN

SPLICE UP YOUR LIFE

Sometimes combining two unlikely
favourites can cause highly addictive
results – take fried halloumi slathered
with honey, for example. And an
impending flurry of new TV mash-ups
is no exception. HBO and Sky are
co-working on original content,
while Scandal and How To Get Away
With Murder have announced a
two-episode collaboration, in which
the shows’ heroines will cross paths.
Long-standing Walking Dead
character Morgan will also transition
to the programme’s prequel, Fear The
Walking Dead, this year. We predict
serious screen hours ahead. You may
want to invest in some eye drops…

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 9
HAVE
YOU
MET
Louis Hunter
There aren’t many men who can
make a gladiator sandal look as
appealing as this Australian actor

Age 26

Hometown
Sydney, Australia
The most misunderstood Most embarrassing
Big break thing about men? moment?
After appearing When we ask what you feel At one audition I said I was
in Aussie soap like eating, it’s not a trick a little more experienced
Out Of The Blue, question. Promise. in dance than I am. I had
Louis trod the to learn a salsa piece, then
boards in War The worst date you’ve perform it, alone, in front
Of The Roses in ever had? of 200 professional dancers.
2009. This year, For a while, I did amateur I felt like crying, but was
he stars in Troy: boxing and once got punched somehow offered the role.
Fall Of A City. in the mouth so hard the day
before a brunch date that What are you afraid of?
Crazy fact #1 I couldn’t eat anything, apart Spiders. When I was a kid,
Louis was almost from little slivers of fruit. one jumped on my hand AS TOLD TO JENNIFER SAVIN. PHOTOGRAPH KATERINA STRATOS

recruited into the I could also barely talk to her and bit me – I had to be
Australian Secret because my face was swollen. rushed to hospital.
Service aged 15,
but chose acting. Weirdest crush? The most romantic thing
Willem Dafoe. I just saw him you’ve ever done?
Crazy fact #2 in The Florida Project, and he’s Forgiven someone.
After a trip to so talented, which always
Thailand aged makes people attractive. What is your greatest love?
18, Louis woke So maybe it’s not that weird. My family comes first, but
up and couldn’t acting’s always been an island
remember a The last time you cried? of sanity within a sea of chaos.
thing (including This morning, due to jet lag.
his own name) I woke up at midnight and 4See Louis in Troy: Fall Of A
for a month. couldn’t fall back to sleep. City, BBC One & BBC iPlayer

10 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 Because
sometimes
life is
stranger
than
fiction

CRASH &
PRIDE COMETH BEFORE A FALL
I’d just started a
new job and was
BURN CRIME OF FASHION
trying to impress at a Years ago, I was shopping with my mum We were waiting for
client event. While chatting to
and brother and decided it would be the bus when my
one big cheese, I accidentally mum realised she’d
pressed the fire alarm instead hilarious to hide. After half an hour, my forgotten her phone,
of the door button. We looked
at one another in horror as the brother found me under a clothes rail. so I ran home to get it.
racket began and 3,000 people
were evacuated. The only thing
But it was too late: Mum had called the Sprinting back to her,
on fire that day? My cheeks. police. Lucky we can all take a joke… eh? day saved, I stacked
BRUNO, 29, MANAGEMENT
CONSULTANT, PARIS
TSIU-KIM, 21,
MODEL, LONDON
it completely. Just as
the bus pulled up. Full
HIGH & DRY
I was keen to get back with my ex-girlfriend and decided to blow a load of cash flying
of people I knew, who
last-minute to Paris, where she lived. It went well at first... until, 12 hours later, she wakes up,
turns over and says it’s over. So, I get on the next flight home, rejected, single and now broke.
were all laughing.
SHEY, 24, COPYWRITER, STAFFORD AZADEH, 24, ARCHITECTURE
STUDENT, VANCOUVER

12 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 DUCKING
& DIVING THE ACCIDENTAL STUNTWOMAN
At the end A PERFECT STORM
AS TOLD TO DANIELLA SCOTT. PHOTOGRAPHS ANTONIO PETRONZIO. HAIR AND MAKE-UP

of a great date, ASKIDS,MYBROTHERAND

I was on a run when these kids started
CHARLOTTE GASKELL, ASSISTED BY CAMILLA AKEHURST. STYLING HARRIET WALKER

I leant in for a
I WERE IN THE BACK OF THE
kiss. But he dodged it, and
I ended up planting a big
chasing me, screaming with excitement. CAR, ARGUING ABOUT HIM
one on the side of his head. When I stopped, they handed me paper NOT KEEPING TO HIS SIDE.
A bit like a distant relative’s
and pens, and asked for my autograph. I DID MY BEST STROPPY
Sunday-lunch greeting.
HUFF AND LEANT AGAINST
HAZEL, 20, STUDENT, Wondering where this newfound fame had THE DOOR, ARMS FOLDED.
GAINSBOROUGH
come from, I started signing, making celeb- SUDDENLY, I WAS FLYING
SWAN QUAKE esque conversation as I did. There was OUT OF THE MOVING CAR,
During a ballet recital at
a moment of awkward silence when I AND MISSION IMPOSSIBLE-
secondary school, I let out
STYLE FELL OUT ONTO THE
the loudest fart of my life,
mid-plié. Nobody believed
handed the papers back, until one of them HARD SHOULDER. LUCKILY,
it was a wind instrument.
LIANA, 28, OFFICE
asked, “Oh, so you’re not Stormzy, then?” ONLY MY PRIDE WAS HURT.
WORKER, THE WIRRAL RICHARD, 28, SARAH, 24,
BOXER, LONDON PHOTOGRAPHER, LONDON

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 13
 Uncharted festivals
With Glastonbury on hiatus, it’s time to mix it up a book a summer alternativee

2-HOUR BEND IENDLY PL

E7 E E FR AC
TH TH
R

E
S E C R E T S O L ST I C E U VA F E ST I VA L
hWhat is it? A literal blinder, at hHigh points: Partying on hWhat is it? 500 people come hHigh points: The setting,
Iceland’s summer solstice, when a glacier to the likes of J Hus, together in a 15th-century surrounded by cliffs and
the sun doesn’t set for days. Stormzy and… Bonnie Tyler. monastery turned vineyard in lush vegetation.
hWho’s the crowd? hDisaster potential: That Andalucía, Spain, for a mash-up. hDisaster potential: Copious
Glastonbury goers looking to weird guy you pulled on day hWho’s the crowd? Billed cheap drinks, in the middle
increase their vitamin D intake. one? Hard to hide from him as ‘a festival for making of nowhere. Go figure.
hWhat you will see: By day when it doesn’t get dark. friends’, it’s a mix of people hComfort factor: Airbnbs
three, it will feel like The Walking hComfort factor: Camp on who like gaining mates or, in the ancient city of Ronda.
Dead, where the zombies all site or walk into Reykjavik. indeed, have none. Camping not an option.
wear Day-Glo sunglasses. hWhat the organisers might hWhat you will see: Stunning hWhat the organisers might
hWhat you won’t see: say: “Come for the Vikings… views of the countryside. say: “Swap your Stella for
First-time festival goers. This and try not to vomit.” hWhat you won’t see: sangria at our house party.”
is not for the faint-hearted. Å21-24 Jun; Secretsolstice.is Long queues for the loo. Å8-10 Jun; Uvafestival.com

WORDS MEGAN CONNER. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, SHUTTERSTOCK, LEYLA HESNA, GUY BELL, LILJA DRAUMLAND
NE ON A BO LASSICAL RA
EO AT EC VE
TH TH

THE ARK CRUISE N E W G E N E R AT I O N F E ST I VA L

hWhat is it? A five-day jaunt hDisaster potential: hWhat is it? This classical private gardens of the
from Barcelona to the Balearics Swimwear fails, especially on music festival in Florence has Palazzo Corsini.
on a boat with 4,000 shipmates. the on-board climbing wall. concertos early evening, and hDisaster potential:
hWho’s the crowd? Ibiza babes hComfort factor: Luxury DJ raves late at night. Waking up in a hedge with
meet The Inbetweeners on tour. bunks, room service and hWho’s the crowd? Cultured a hot violinist, surrounded by
hWhat you will see: Bikinis, roller-skating waiters. folk of all ages. discarded red-wine bottles.
platform rave shoes… hWhat the organisers hWhat you will see: Straw hats hComfort factor: ‘Picnic
hWhat you won’t see: Your might say: “If the moment and bottles of the finest Chianti. furniture’ is provided.
mum and dad in their glad takes you, you can get hWhat you won’t see: Girls in hWhat the organisers
rags, off to the cruise cabaret. married on-board at our flower crowns peeing into cups. might say: “We love
hHigh points: Partying isn’t wedding chapel…” hHigh points: Late-night Beyoncé as much as Bach.”
limited to the boat. Stop off Å30 Aug-3 Sept; 3-7 Sept; revelling to sets by DJ Harold Å29 Aug-1 Sept;
at Mallorca, Ibiza and Sète. Theark.cruises van Lennep in the magical Newgenerationfestival.org

14 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 Catch-up
cheat sheet
When time is short, backtracking through old episodes of a returning series just isn’t
an option. Here’s our guide to the big ones back this month, so you can dive straight in

WESTWORLD
RLD PLEBS FUGITI A SERIES OF
UNFORTUNATE EVENTS

SCOTT. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, CHANNEL 4/WALTER PRESENTS, NETFLIX, ITV, SKY
So what is it? In a the
eme So what is it? A comed dy So what is it? A subtit o what is it? It’s
park populated by about three young me en Chilean drama about f tflix’s grown-u up
really realistic robotss, trying to get with girlss, people who go on the e on Lemony
human visitors can hold down jobs and after a dodgy drug deal. Sni et’s dark
do whatever they like. The raise their social statuss Who’s in it? Um... quite h
children’s books.
robots should forget everything in ancient Rome. It’s a lot of South-American actors to Who’s in it? Neil
at the end of each day, but they like The Inbetweeners you probably won’t know. Patrick Harris and d
start to develop memories… set in 27BC. What’s happened so far? comedy queens Joan
Who’s in it? Thandie Newton Who’s in it? Friday Night Lead Tegui has figured out Cusack and Lucy Punch.
and Evan Rachel Wood. Dinner’s Tom Rosenthal. who set them up, and plans to What’s happened so far?
What’s happened so far? Some What’s happened so far? expose them to clear his name. The orphaned Baudelaire
robots have worked out what’s Not much has changed. Oh, How many hours have children are trying to lead
going on, and are fighting back. and Michelle Keegan popped I missed? Factor in tea breaks a normal life and escape
How many hours have I missed? up in one episode. Popularity and subtitle breaks and it’s from their murderous money-
Roughly 10. But solipsistic panic and girls? A work in progress. a full 13 hours. grabbing guardian, Count Olaf.
will make time lose all meaning. How many hours have T
The episode where How many hours have I missed?
The episode where it got really I missed? About 11 over it got really good: Eight hour-long episodes.
good: The second, when hen three
t series, but each The series opens The episode where it got really
Maeve (brothel-ownerr eepisode has its own story, with a car chase, good: Number three,
robot, right) remembe ers sso you can dip in and out. with one of the titular when the Baudelaires
the awful things that TThe episode where it got rea ally fugitivess shot and escape Count Olaf WORDS DANIELLA

have been done to herr. good: Number two. Like most bleedin ng. So, straight (left) and live with
What your colleaguess series, get through the pilott away really… their Uncle Monty.
D

will say about it over and you’re golden. What your colleagues will What your
the desk: “I can see What your colleagues will say about it over the desk: colleagues will say
Disneyworld becoming g say about it over the desk: “I’m not even doing any drug about it over the desk k:
a warzone led by a homicidal “Tom Rosenthal is weirdly deals but I still feel paranoid that “I physically laughed,
robotic Mickey Mouse.” hot in a toga.” I’m about to be double-crossed.” instead of just exhaling g
Sound knowledgeable with… Sound knowledgeable with… Sound knowledgeable with… loudly through my nose.”
“Security chief Ashley’s played “Seth Rogen is developing “This was the first Chilean Sound
S knowledgeable e
by Luke Hemsw worth. a US version of this award- show to make it with… “Of course, Neil
Yes, another winning sleeper hit.” onto British TV.” Patrick Harris [right] also
Hemsworth.” Å Season 4 is on Å Serries 2 is on sings the theme song…”
Å Season 2 iss ITV2 in April Walte er Presents/ Å Season 2 is on
on Sky in Apriil Chann nel 4 in April N
Netflix in April

16 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 Keep it
short
No time to wade through a 700-page
tome? These literary heavyweights
are slimming their output right down

Y 
our average commute probably consists of
rewatching Instagram stories, dodging BO-filled
armpits and avoiding eye contact with, well,
everyone. A more enriching way to survive those
hours? Short stories. Three major new collections are being
published, allowing you to expand your mind with the
writing of great authors – without needing a fortnight on a
sunlounger to reach the ending. Want to know which ones
are worth your precious time? We read them all to find out.

The collection: The collection: The collection: Reading the

You Think It, I’ll Say It Property Beautiful Days small print
By: Curtis Sittenfeld By: Lionel Shriver By: Joyce Carol Oates Literary legends in as little
Who? Her novel American Who? Lauded journalist and Who? One of America’s time as possible…
Wife was a bestseller, but at author of the award-winning greatest writers. Aged 79,
640 pages long, you’ll need We Need To Talk About Kevin, she has published more than The Death Of Ivan Ilyich &

WORDS CATRIONA INNES. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES. BASED ON THE AVERAGE READING SPEED OF
a beach holiday to finish it. which was also made into a 40 novels, five of which were y
Other Stories, Leo Tolstoy
Got an hour? Read: The film starring Tilda Swinton. finalists for the Pulitzer Prize. One of his

200 TO 250 WORDS A MINUTE: ROUGHLY TWO MINUTES PER PAGE (EXECUREAD.COM/FACTS/)
Prairie Wife. An Instagram star Got two hours? Read: The Got an hour and a half? Read: masterpieces,
paints herself as the ultimate Standing Chandelier. This The Bereaved. A stepmother and a lot quicker
country wife but is secretly a novella about the friendship comes to terms with the loss (and easier)
lesbian – and her old girlfriend between a woman and a man of her stepdaughter, who she to read than
wants to expose her. It will (and his jealous fiancée) is never really got on with. Anna Karenina.
take 48 minutes to read and ideal for train journeys. Got 16 minutes? Read:
you can spend the remaining g Got 12 minutes? Read: The The Memorial Field At Hazard, Lady Susan And Eighteen
12 stalking your Royal Male. At just six pages, Minnesota. Other Short Stories, Jane
Instagram you could read it in the kitchen A former US Austen These 19 tales, penned
favourites… and while your pasta cooks. President wakes when Austen was a teenager,
wondering what’s Bluff it: “Shriver’s theme here up in hospital, even include her spelling
behind the filter. is ‘property’ in all senses of and goes to mistakes (‘freindship’), which
Got 15 minutes? the word: examining our see the bodies makes us feel much better
Read: Bad Latch. A motherth relationship with our homes, of the hundreds about our own misspellings.
feels judged by a woman in as well as the people who of people whose deaths
her maternity yoga group. The inhabit them. Essentially he feels responsible for. The Complete Stories,
story unfolds at sprint speed. she’s asking: do Bluff it: “As she does in Franz Kafka This
Bluff it: “Sittenfeld expertly we own parts most of her writing, Oates volume includes
shines a light on how quickly of our friends brilliantly treads the line all of Kafka’s
we rush to judge others. and family?” between condemnation work apart from
It certainly made me £14.99, The of, and fascination with, his three novels.
re-evaluate my opinions.” Borough Press, her flawed characters.” Instant smug
£16.99, Doubleday, out 3rd May out 19th April £18.99, Ecco points right there..

18 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 MY Last thing
Three pairs of sun
o
s,
from Etsy. I collect them,
and have hundreds.

Favourite emoji? I like the smiley

face, showing all its teeth – as that’s
what I do when I smile!

The app you can’t live

without? WhatsApp, or
maybe Waze, as I never
Singer Anne-Marie tells know where I’m going.
us what’s keeping her
entertained this month... Song that’s guaranteed to get you
on the dancefloor? Survivor, by
First thing you read in the morning? Destiny’s Child.
My phone! Which is bad… but I also Even thinking
have a book full of happiness quotes, about it makes me

AS TOLD TO CATRIONA INNES. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, TLC/BRIAN BOWEN SMITH, BEN GOLDSTEIN/STUDIO D, INSTAGRAM/@SHAWNMENDES
so then I’ll read from that. want to dance.

Last thing you do before yoou Last podcast you

go to bed? I watch Say Yes listened to?
To The Dress on repeat until I don’t listen to
I fall asleep. podcasts at all.
I want to, I just don’t have the time.
What TV shows do you
binge on? [Reality show]] What’s on your workout playlist?
Long Island Medium, abou
ut Run, by Rudimental and Will Heard.
a woman who is psychic.
Current wallpaper on your phone?
The last film that made A picture of my granddad.
you cry? I cry at
everything. But the last Go-to takeaway dish? Veggie korma.
time was on a plane I’m trying to go vegetarian.
watching The Big Sick.
What was your last Google search?
What book is on your bedside It was ‘the difference between “affect”
table waiting to be read? The and “effect”’… I still don’t quite
Chimp Paradox by Prof Steve understand it!
Peters – it’s all about the mind
d,
and how much control we Last person you followed
have over it. I’m fascinated on Instagram?
by that subject. Shawn Mendes.

Last time you were star- Anne-Marie’s

struck? At the NME Awards, album, Speak
when I had a photo taken Your Mind, is
with Naomi Campbell. out 27th April
 The
Pointing you in the right cultural direction this month...

Floating our boat

SSILKY DRAWERS THUGG BOOTS
W
Warning, footballers: lock Oh my God, her legs are
u
up your shorts ASAP. Vuitton melting! Call an ambulance!!
sent them down the runway for Oh no, wait. She’s just
S/S 18 paired with regal costume wearing thigh-high Uggs –
pieces. Marie Antoinette meets y’know, the ones that look
Match Of The Dayy. like the foreskin of a giant?

CHILLI DOUGH EAR JOBS

Remember when stuffed Kris Jenner is said to have
crusts blew our minds? spearheaded the recent rise
Now it’s Zizzi’s smoked- in cosmetic lobe procedures
chilli-dough base that’s – which rejuvenate ears/support
WORDS JENNIFER SAVIN. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, REX FEATURES, JASON LLOYD-EVANS, WALT DISNEY/COLLECTION CHRISTOPHEL/ARENAPAL.
*AFTER-PARTY TICKETS £45 FROM BEFITLONDON.COM (INCLUDES AN ALCOHOLIC DRINK, CLASS ACCESS AND A LUXURY AFTER-PARTY GOODIE BAG)

getting us hot under the heavy accessories – along with

collar. It’s a yes
y from us. close family friend Pat Butcher.

ALLBROW HEADBONES
As
A well-versed in Love Designed for outdoor runners,
IIsland as you are in Brexit Aftershokz Trekz headphones
neegotiations? Fed up
n (£99.95) conduct soundwaves
being pigeonholed as
of b through your actual cheekbones (to
exclusively high- or lowbrow? also allow for background noise – stay
Welcome
W to the allbrow club. alert, folks). Nope, not creepy at all.

SNORECASTS BATHLEISURE
Listening to a monotonous, snoozesome voice The new Instagram scenario
used to be the preserve of bad first dates. Now, overtaking infinity-pool-posing
Sinking our ship

it’s used in the world’s most in the race for likes. What is
boring podcast, Sleep With it? Influencers and celebs
Me. Weirdly effective. reclining in towels and robes.
We miss clothes.

GRAFTER-PARTY CLAPBACK MIRRORS

The UK’s biggest fitness festival, The HiMirror Plus+ (an
Be:Fit, is back (4th-6th May)* absolute steal at £319) has an
with an after-party (featuring in-built camera that analyses
glitter and skinny prosecco, of your face, then suggests a better
course) to ease that thigh burn. skincare regime to solve your
Lycra optional. Dancing not. many, many problems. Too mean.

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 23
 YOUR NO–BS GUIDE TO ALL THINGS BEAUTY
WORDS LUCY PARTINGTON. PHOTOGRAPH ALEKSANDRA KINGO. FOOD STYLING LUCY-RUTH HATHAWAY. PROP STYLING ELENA HORN

READY FOR THIS JELLY?

The Far East has a lot to answer for: first came the influx of BB creams. Next, an avalanche
of CCs, then, before we knew it, the entire world was drowning in sheet masks. And now?
We have the first of what promises to be a plethora of perfumed jellies. Flower By Kenzo
Le Sponge, £29.50, is much like those foundation/highlighter/blusher cushions that are
floating around in the bottom of your handbag. Except this compact is filled with Flower
By Kenzo-scented gel that’s designed to be dabbed onto pulse points, whenever, wherever.
Think of it as a modern version of a perfume powder puff, except there’s a whole lot
less dust and, we imagine, a whole lot more elegance.

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 25
TRY THE
TREND

SPLIT
HELMUT LANG S/S 18
LIP
No need to book into a boxing class
1
– these looks pack their own punch

1 OMBRE
LOVE
DIFFICULTY 1/3 Fenty Beauty Lipstick
Colour it in and repeat on
MARTIN MARGIELA S/S 18

in Clapback, £16
This dual-toned lip isn’t each side, top and bottom.
quite as difficult to do Keep make-up remover and
as it looks, we promise. some cotton buds handy –
First, choose yourself Estée Lauder
this may take a few attempts.
two contrasting shades – Pure Color
one bright and one dark.
“Start with the darker
colour, and apply from
the outside corners of the
lips to around a quarter
2
Envy Paint-On
Liquid Lipcolor
in Pink Zinc
Matte, £25

Zoeva
3
  BOLD
MOVE
DIFFICULTY 1/3
At L’Oréal Paris’s first
catwalk show, models wore

2
 
BareMinerals Luxe
of the way across,” says BLANK Double-Ended Crease
dramatic contrasting lip
Emma Tillman, Estée SPACE Perfect Fill Lip Brush, shades. Tillman says prep
Lauder UK Pro Make-Up DIFFICULTY 3/3 Brush, £18 £8.99 lips first to soften dry skin

WORDS LUCY PARTINGTON. PHOTOGRAPHS IMAXTREE, JASON LLOYD-EVANS

Artist. “Then, apply the Not only do negative-space – use balm, then blot. Next,
brighter shade in the lips resemble sideways Jo Malone apply colour – matte liquid
centre of your lips, hearts (cute!), but Tillman English Mint lipsticks are best as they
& Ginger Lip
making sure you define says this’ll also help fake a Care, £20 bleed less – to the top lip.
the Cupid’s bow.” Use fuller pout. “A good-quality, “Let that set before you
a fluffy eyeshadow brush sharp lip brush is key,” she move on to the bottom lip,
to carefully blend the says. Pick a hot-pink, matte so the two shades don’t
two shades together,
et voila! If you want to
lipstick and, using said
brush, trace a line from the
3 transfer,” she says. Purple and
blue not quite your bag? Try
L’OREAL S/S 18

switch things up even outer edge of the top lip to pink or red against orange.
more, try playing with the top of your Cupid’s bow. And if one of your lips is
textures: Tillman suggests Continue the line down, thinner than the other, just
a dark matte with a bright leaving a small gap at the use the lightest shade on it
glossy or metallic shade. centre of your lips, ending to make them look more
Talk about endless options. up where you started. even. Who needs fillers?

26 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 Clarins Hydra-Essentiel
Moisturizing Reviving Eye
Mask, £29 Late night?
Salvation comes in the
Nailberry Oxyge ed form of two blobs of this
l Lacquer in Maliblue, under your peepers.
£14.50 perfect
most p
e. And by Na erry, so Versace Pour Femme
one of our five day, yes? Dylan Blue EDP, £99
(100ml) Blackcurrant
and jasmine notes that
linger on clothes for
days. First-date perfect.

Neighbourhood
Botanicals Dream
Dream Dream
Facial Oil, £28
Dreamy name,
dreamy texture,
dreamy smell. Can
La Roche-Posay
we bathe in it?
Hyalu B5 Serum, £37
Hyaluronic acid and

Hot
vitamin B5 in one
easy-to-use formula.
Hello, plumped-up,
well-hydrated skin.

Charles

right
Worthi ton t
ing ueu
Sha ,
ftily
li s
neutralise
red and Glamglow Waterburst
G
orange tones Hydrated Glow Moisturizer,
H

now!
in brunettes. £39 Packed with hyaluronic
acid, this Korean-skincare-
nspired moisturiser is the
in
perfect make-up base.
p

Nin icci Les

Monst a Feeling blue? Us, too.
Ricci Luna
£50.50 (50ml)) Well, we were until we
Fruity hints of lime
and pineapple make
laid eyes on this lot
the juice just as
sweet as the bottle.
Shay & Blue Black
WORDS LUCY PARTINGTON. STILL LIFES PAVEL DORNAK/HEARST STUDIOS

Tulip, £55 (100ml)

A bit spicy, a bit
floral, a bit sweet
(white chocolate
notes, FYI). Bit
obsessed…

Spectrum Collections
Air Brush Set, £49.99
There’s nothing we
LOVES don’t love here. Cute
Guerlain La Petite
+ 2 01 8 + Robe Noire Lip
bag? Check. Cuter Colour’Ink in Blue,
brushes? Also check. £23 Any colour
When you see beauty
layered on top will
products with this logo
transform into an
anywhere, you can be
icier shade. Genius.
guaranteed they are
Cosmopolitan-beauty-
team-approved. 27
PERIOD
WITH
YOUR
FACE?
It’s bad enough
that hormones
wreck your mood,
but the fact that
they mess with
your skin, too?
All too much!
Here’s how to get
on top of your cycle
MENSTRUATION OVULATION
DAYS A typical 28-day cycle DAYS As your body prepares itself
1-5 begins with your period. 13-15 for ovulation, production
As the lining of your of testosterone and oestrogen
uterus is shed, hormone levels continues to steadily increase.
decrease – oestrogen, testosterone
and progesterone are at their h Hormone hack
You’ll be at your glowiest. “Oestrogen
lowest, says Alisa Vitti, founder boosts collagen production and keeps skin
and CEO of Floliving.com and moist and plump,” says Dr Lauren Streicher,
the MyFLO app, nutritionist clinical associate professor of obstetrics and
and writer of WomanCode. gynaecology. And testosterone makes the
skin produce more sebum, which acts as
h Hormone hack a moisturiser, adds Vitti. However,
You’ll likely experience redness and if your skin is oily, testosterone
sensitivity due to a rise in prostaglandin can lead to pimples (P-acne,
(a hormone-like compound that ups the bacteria behind breakouts,
inflammation and lowers pain tolerance, feeds off sebum), so use an
explains dermatologist Dr Joshua exfoliating wash. L’Oréal Paris
Zei er), as well as an increase in blood Pure Clay Glow Scrub uses three
f w to capi rie ries. Use soothing skincare, different types of clay and
e anti-inflamma y e ening primrose oil. red algae to d pores.

Aveeno Daily
Moisturising
eL’Oréal
Lotion, £5.99f eMalin n+Goetz
Paris Pure
Recove ery
Clay Glow
Treatmment
Scrub, £3.99
Oil, £62
2

FOLLICULAR PHASE
Hormone levels start off low, but
DAYS start to rise slowly (specifically
6-12
oestrogen) as your body begins
to mature follicles in the ovaries.

h Hormone hack
At this point, your skin will feel less sensitive, red
or reactive. “Now is the time to use more intense Need special
treatments and active products,” explains Vitti. Try attention when
a DIY facial with Sand & Sky Brilliant Skin Detoxify battling your period?
+ Brighten Purifying Pink Clay Mask (its natural Woman:kind is a spa treatment
acids resurface skin). Follow it up with Algenist’s that tackles hormonal changes,
Genius Liquid Collagen super-plumping serum soothes sore tummies and
(active collagen water softens lines and firms). It’s balances skin. For locations
also the best time for a wax: research shows that and price (£49–£80), visit
as oestrogen levvels
l rise,
i so does pain tolerance. i Naturalspafactory.com

eSand & Sky

Brilliant Skin
Detoxify +
Algenisst Brighten Purifying
Genius Liquiid Pink Clay Mask,
Collagen, £90f £39.90

29
 3 WAYS TO DEAL
WITH HORMONAL CYSTS
STS

Topical treatments Oral medications A healthier diet

These deep, painful The pill keeps hormones “The quality of your
spots don’t tend to have in check, which can sebum and whether
a head, so traditional greatly reduce hormonal or not it has an
acne treatments acne. Another bonus: inflammatory effect on
struggle, says Debbie it also suppresses your the skin plays a big role
Struggling Thomas, advanced skin ovaries by supplying in hormonal acne,” says
to stay on top of care and laser specialist. the body with excess Holey, adding that you
your symptoms? Something with salicylic oestrogen, which makes can thin out your sebum
Exercise. It’ll help acid combined with skin naturally glowy, by sticking to a diet that
regulate your hormones, azelaic or mandelic acid says Dr Streicher. is low in inflammatories.
increase circulation will penetrate deeper If that doesn’t work, Sadly, that means
and shed water to and help to break up talk to your GP about fewer sugary treats
relieve bloating. the blockage, as well spironolactone – which and more vegetables.
as reduce inflammation. can be used as an Perhaps it’s worth
Try: Lixir Night Switch androgen-blocker to jumping on that vegan
BHA/AHA 10%, £20 treat hormonal acne. bandwagon after all...

LUTEAL PHASE BLOODY HELL The (true) stories that left

people more than red-faced…

DAYS This post-ovulation/

16-28 pre-period phase is usually RED DREAD
the longest. Before your ART ATTACK “I was 15 and doing a Duke Of
period begins, oestrogen drops, “I was teaching an art-activity Edinburgh trek while on my period.

WORDS LAUREN BALSAMO. ADDITIONAL WORDS LUCY PARTINGTON. PHOTOGRAPHS LOUISA PARRY.
while progesterone spikes. class when I started to leak. On my heaviest day, I didn’t get to

ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, J MUCKLE/STUDIO D, PIXELEYES, HEARST STUDIOS

hHormone hack I checked my skirt and noticed change my pad at all. When I finally
got to the toilet, the wings had chafed
The trickiest time for your complexion. a mark so I grabbed a bottle of
“The hormonal imbalance causes so much they’d cut into my vagina.
inflammation in the skin and can trigger
red paint, squirted it over my And we had two days of hiking to go.”
androgens (a type of hormone) to skirt, and then ‘accidentally’
produce thicker sebum in pores,” says bumped into a table
skin specialist Kristina Holey. Pre-empt
of paint pots.”
breakouts with a probiotic-infused mask
to reduce acne-causing bacteria sans SMEAR QUEST
stripping, says Dr Zeichner. Increased “I went for my first smear test
circulation to capillaries coupled with WHITE OUT and agreed to let some training
sleepless nights (common during this “I used to think I could
part of the cycle) can also lead to dark medics watch, totally forgetting I was on
wear whatever I wanted
circles, so don’t forget the eye cream!
during my period. Until
my period. My legs were in the stirrups
the day I put on very and a team of people was crowded
eGallinée
white jeans to go to a around my crotch when the doctor,
Alpha-H Face Mask &
Liquid Gold Scrub, £17.90 restaurant. I had to wrap without saying anything, removed
Firming my boyfriend’s coat around the tampon I’d forgotten about,
Eye Cream,
£52f
me as we left because, yep, and walked it, blood and all,
the inevitable happened…” over to the bin.”
30 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 INGE HAS
ISSUES
Cosmopolitan’s beauty director INGEBORG VAN

What’s the deal with …

RING s some t off her chest

PERSONAL SHOPPER

MAGIC
MAKE-UP?
Make-up brands are falli over
each other to dazzle uss with
innovation and texturees
we never knew we OBSESSED
needed. Some of it ✱ Isle Of Paradise Self-
is style over rehashed Tanning Water, £18.95*
substance, but there’s With unique skin-colour-
also stuff that solves correcting actives: cue a
our problems and totally blotch-free tan.
blows our little minds..
Such as? Hourglass
Veil Retouching Fluid What’s new for lips? Marc Jacobs’ Le
is a concealer and brightener, Marc Liquid Lip Crayon is a pencil that
but not as you know it. A serum slicks on like a liquid lipstick, but ends
packed with super-fine silicone- up glossy-ish. Huh? It’s a trick achieved
coated pigments, it can be piled with ‘ghost pearls’, which give the melty
on top of existing make-up to long-wear texture a wet-look effect. A gloss IMPRESSED
give it a new lease of life without that stays put for 16 hours? Miraculous! ✱ Mary Kay Timewise
caking or gathering. And that Eyes? OK, so this doesn’t actually come Vitamin C Activating
makes life easier. away in one satisfying little strip, but Squares, £22 Patches of

PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, SHUTTERSTOCK, ALLSTAR/DISNEY. *PRICE PER BOTTLE

Can I put it all over my face? That Too Faced’s peel-off glitter liner can be active vit C you mix with
would be silly (you’d use half the little picked off in flimsy bits. The upshot is serum before applying to
bottle). Instead, try Nars’ new foundation that its film-forming agent really does get a potent, fresh hit.
(below), which has the same serum lock down the glitter, so for once you
texture, but gives full coverage and stays can trust it won’t end up all over your
put, making touch-ups redundant. face – or anyone else’s.

WIZARDRY FOR YOUR MAKE-UP BAG

NON-PLUSSED
✱ Lipstick Queen Girls
Will Be Boys Lipstick, £22
Claims its bullet ‘easily
glides onto lips of both
Hourglass Veil Nars Natural
N N t Marc Jacobs Le Too Faced Glitter
Retouching Radiant Longwear Marc Liquid Lip Pop! Peel-Off men and women’. Wow,
Fluid, £25 Foundation, £35 Crayon, £22 Eyeliner, £16 breakthrough technology.

32 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
BEAUTY
LAB Vita Liberata Self-Tanning Anti-Age
Serum, £29.95 After mixing three
drops of this fresh-smelling serum into
my usual moisturiser, I watched my
pasty complexion warm within the
eight hours promised. It took a
couple of days to look officially
‘tanned’, even when applied
directly to the skin, so a good one
for first-time tanners and paler
skin tones. The anti-ageing
additions of rose, cucumber and
cell-supporting peptides are
not to be sniffed at either.

Tropic Sun Drops, £22 I was

dubious about the thick, caramel-
coloured liquid at first, but
appreciated having a colour guide
when it came to mixing it with
my moisturiser. What followed
(10 hours later) was a natural
golden glow, thanks to a plant
Tmhoins th...
Tanning
extract that mimics the colour
of the skin’s own melanin.
Clever. I ditched my bronzer
for the rest of the week.

Balance Me Gradual Tanning Drops, £30

An impressively high 98.8% natural
formula (if that’s your bag), no colour
guide and a noticeable-yet-natural
skin warmth after one or two
uses (darker than Vita Liberata,
subtler than Tropic). The dry-oil
consistency makes it perfect
drops Could the humble pipette be the key to
for skin on the dry side, as do foolproof facial tanning? Sun-avoider
the skin-loving ingredients
aloe vera and vitamin E. CASSIE POWNEY seeks a summer glow

Editor’s pick...
Tan-Luxe Sleep Oil, £34 These before-
Marks & Spencer Autograph
Self Tan Luxe Oil, £12.50
Full marks for the just-returned-
bed drops contain six nourishing oils, from-two-weeks-abroad colour,
PHOTOGRAPHS TODD BARRY

including the much-loved likes of argan, which is easily maintained with

raspberry seed and jojoba. It blends like a every-other-day application directly onto
pampering product (no moisturiser-mixing the skin. But at less than half the price
required), and contains certified-organic DHA of its contender oil, what’s the catch? A
(that’s the tanning agent). I rose from my noticeably less nourishing ingredients list,
pillow looking like a sun-kissed goddess. which didn’t go unnoticed – I had dried-
Legit skincare with beauty benefits. out skin for the whole week I used it.

34 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 STRETCH YOUR BODY AND YOUR MIND...
WORDS CATRIONA INNES. PHOTOGRAPH PIXELEYES. ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES. *PER 100G, ACCORDING TO NUTRITION-AND-YOU.COM/JUJUBE.HTML

LET IT JUJU-BE
We’ve finally learned how to pronounce acai, added pond (OK, spirulina, same difference) to
our smoothies and convinced ourselves that turmeric lattes are better than a regular cup of Joe.
And now there’s a new superfood in town to get our tastebuds (and vocabulary) around: the
jujube. Thankfully fairly easy to pronounce (joo-joob), this berry gives us 115% of our RDA
of vitamin C,* plus minerals, phytonutrients and 18 of the 24 amino acids our bodies need to
build muscle and function properly. Even better news? They don’t taste like your granddad’s insoles
– eaten fresh, they’re akin to a sweet apple. You can get dried ones (which taste like dates) to
snack on from Ocado.com (£1.99). Maybe this is one health craze that’ll actually be a hit.

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 37
 T 
he soaring sandstone cliffs of
Sedona in Arizona are magical.
When the morning rays hit
the towering rock formations
at just the right angle, they
seem to catch fire, flickering
from red to ochre, orange to umber.
Little wonder, then, that thousands of
devotees come to this city every year in
search of spiritual enlightenment, lured
by the dozens of centres and retreats
that have sprung up over the past 10
years. New Yorker Kirby Brown, 38, was
one of them. She came for a retreat she
hoped might unlock her potential as
an entrepreneur. By the time that retreat
was over, 18 people were in hospital
and three, including Kirby, were dead.
“We called her Hurricane Kirby. She
was drunk on life,” says her mother,
Ginny Brown. An adventurous spirit,
Kirby loved to climb, cycle and surf,
always grabbing opportunities with
both hands. So, when she wanted to
take her painting business to the next
level, she went all in, blowing her life
savings on a five-day motivational
retreat led by the charismatic James
Arthur Ray. The millionaire guru
promised to help her and more than
50 others “push past their self-imposed
borders” to better their lives.
More of us than ever What that involved was foregoing
are travelling in search sleep for a 36-hour food-and-drink fast
and shaving off all her hair. Finally, in
of enlightenment, but the stifling heat of the Arizona desert,
she entered a crowded ‘sweat lodge’
do we really know what made of wood, plastic and blankets.
we’re getting into? As the temperatures soared, people
started vomiting, but they were told
KATE GRAHAM investigates to stay and push through the pain.
what happens when They were told it would feel like they
were dying. Two hours later, Kirby
retreats go rogue... died from acute heat stroke. i

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 39
 More than 50 people

W
 
e’re in the middle of And with good reason. Side effects went on the retreat
a wellness boom. We include seizures and respiratory
live in an age where arrest, and there have been at least
a £46 egg-shaped crystal five deaths at retreats in recent years.
for your vagina, touted “Ayahuasca puts people in touch with
by Gwyneth Paltrow, their deep psyches and memories,”
sells out. Festivals at which you swig explains anthropologist Jeremy
cider and sing along to indie bands Narby. “It’s possible not to know how
are on the decline, while fitness vulnerable you are until you take it.
festivals are flourishing. The multi-day By then, it’s too late to turn back.”
Wanderlust event has grown from a That’s something Julia, a 29-year-old
one-off in the US in 2009 to something advertising manager,
held in 10 countries worldwide. experienced first-
The entire wellness industry is said hand. She tried The makeshift
lodge’
to be worth roughly £3trillion.* The iboga, an African desert ‘sweat
fastest-growing sector within that? plant with similar
Wellness tourism. Worth around hallucinogenic
£350 billion,** it saw a 10% rise last properties, at an
year alone. And its main consumers? underground retreat.
Experience-thirsty millennials. “Before I took the
Spafinder’s State Of Wellness Travel drug, I was asked
Report revealed that not only are to submit a history
millennials the core wellness tourism detailing my life’s
demographic, but also that our goals emotional events. That
are ‘adventure’ and ‘enlightenment’ included the fact that
rather than ‘fluffy robes’. I was attacked, raped Kirby Brown
and nearly murdered at at her home
17,” Julia says. The retreat
UP HIGH
If it’s deep enlightenment and an
leader’s advice shocked her. “He said
I should relive the event. It was the
experience-unlike-any-other that most terrifying experience of my
we’re looking for, then ayahuasca life. The visions were more real than
seems to offer it. The hallucinogenic the actual memories – it was like
plant, taken primarily in Peru, Brazil, allowing someone to rape me again.”
Colombia and Ecuador, has been At first it seemed to help: “I
used in South America for centuries remembered different parts of the
as part of religious ceremonies within attack and saw that I just couldn’t
tribes. However, of late, retreats have fought back. It helped ed with
offering it have seen a rise in young my guilt tremendously. I was
people, women in particular, eager told I was cured. Three
to ‘discover’ themselves through the months later, I realised
drug. Taken in tea, ayahuasca gives I wasn’t fixed at all.”
a high that can last up to six hours Violent visions suddenly
– it causes strong hallucinations, appeared; she constantly
with those who have tried it saying felt people were attacking g
they’ve had visions from their past her. Julia was referred to a
and advice given to them from mental-health professionaal
deceased loved ones, or even God. and treated for extreme
Some claim that they’ve left with depression and post-
a deeper understanding of their life. traumatic stress disorder.
In the UK and US, its active Iboga didn’t create those
ingredient, dimethyltryptamine issues, she explains, it
(DMT), is an illegal, class-A drug. just brought them to
Ray served 20
James Arthur hss
th s in prison for the deat
40 · C O S M O P O L I TA N mon
 the surface. But without proper practices tend to involve early rises people coming down the stairs like
medical guidance or aftercare, she and restricted diets. And when your zombies, their eyes blank and their
wasn’t equipped to cope with the body is deprived of sleep, water mouths open. They walked so
psychological impact. and food for prolonged periods of incredibly slowly, their faces
There’s also the danger that while time, your ability to think clearly completely dead,” she says.
trapped in a high, you’re also trapped is disturbed. Away from home
in tight confines with strangers, who and surrounded by like-minded
may not have your best interests at people, it’s easy to be swayed into INDUSTRY TRAPS
heart. That was the experience of questionable ways of thinking. These stories, of course, don’t reflect
Perrie, a 32-year-old PA who was And those in place to take care of an entire industry. But what they
sexually assaulted on an ayahuasca you during this time are often not do highlight is a problem with the
t year. For days, her qualified to cope should something ever-expanding market: that almost
shaman touched go wrong. When teacher Laura, anyone can set up a retreat. There
Temperatures her repeatedly. 37, went on a weekend meditation are no qualifications needed to call
in
the lodge hit
90°C “The only way retreat, she didn’t know she had yourself a ‘guru’. And there’s no
out was by boat,” an undiagnosed bipolar disorder. definitive list of vetted, safe retreats.
she says. “I played The retreat leaders did no mental- Throw into the mix the mindset of
along with his game health screening at all. “I meditated people who might book themselves
because I had no for hours asking, ‘Who am I?’ over onto a retreat: vulnerable people,
other choice. On and over,” she says. Days later, Laura searching for closure after a break-up
he final night, the was committed to a psychiatric or bereavement, or those like Kirby
haman yelled at me ward. She’s clear the retreat – go-getters, eager to push their limits,
or not standing up didn’t cause her disorder, but regardless of physical or financial cost.
hen he told me to. argues that meditation is When these people are put
t 1.30am I got up, a powerful practice that in the wrong hands, the
t my passport and should be taken seriously results can – and have –
oney in a zip-lock
g, walked to the river
by those running retreats.
Clinical psychologist
“Anyone proved deadly. After the
Sedona deaths (James Shore,
slipped into the Dr Rachel Andrew agrees: can call 40, died upon arrival at
er, prepared to swim “If people have suffered themself hospital and Lizabeth
afety. I wasn’t afraid.
Survival was my only thought.”
traumatic events in their
past, they often cope
a guru” Neuman, 49, passed away
after more than a week in
Finally, she managed to flag down by blocking them out. a coma), Ray was convicted
a boat and paid its crew to take her Suddenly having to think of three counts of negligent
PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES (POSED BY MODEL), SHUTTERSTOCK. ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS
TRANSFORMATIONATANGELVALLEY.COM. *ACCORDING TO THE GLOBAL WELLNESS INSTITUTE.

to Iquitos, the nearest city. about these memories can lead to homicide and served 20 months in
being re-traumatised. Mental-health prison, but he’s now trying to rebuild
LL.CO.UK.

professionals work slowly and his self-help career. Ginny Brown

DANGEROUS MINDS
It can be easy to think that, were
carefully to ensure therapies are
helpful, not harmful. Some retreat
has dedicated her life to speaking on
her daughter Kirby’s behalf, setting
**ACCORDING TO LONELY PLANET. SOME NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED

something to go wrong, you would teachers are simply not qualified or up Seeksafely.org to offer advice to
be strong enough to deal with it. But skilled enough to do this properly.” self-help retreat attendees. They ask
at the extreme end of the wellness- Nurse Louisa, 24, tried out those running retreats to follow the
retreat scale, often you’re pushed the now-famous Vipassana silent ‘Seek Safety Promise’, agreeing to
so far out of your comfort zone that meditation retreat. Her experience a list of principles and practices to
you’re not yourself – even when there was nightmarish. Forbidden from keep participants informed and safe.
are no drugs involved. Lauded retreats going outside, given very little food The key, Brown says, is the way that
of recent years include the Ayurvedic and deprived of sleep, she quickly retreats are run. Find one that’s safely
cleanse – eating ghee (that’s clarified began to feel disorientated. And that organised, with qualified experts on
butter) for three days, before spending was before the leaders turned off hand, and it can be a wonderful
a day drinking milk, mixed with salt her water to keep her “punctual”. By experience. “Kirby isn’t here, so I can
water, until you throw up – or colon the fourth day, she’d decided to leave, say this on her behalf: don’t stay away
hydrotherapy, where water is pumped which was trickier than expected due from things. Just walk into them with
into your intestines. Even less extreme to exhaustion and confusion.“I saw open eyes as well as an open heart.” ◆

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 41
·2
42
I TA N
Feeling sluggish? Try this workout, by the
man who keeps the A-list on their A-game
icture the scene: the clock hits 4pm, and you just stay sitting
at your desk. You don’t rush to make yourself a double espresso,
or chow down a doughnut. You don’t need to. You have enough
energy already. Impossible? Not according to Bradley Simmonds.
Trainer to Theo Walcott, Frank Lampard,
Louise Redknapp and Maya Jama, he says if we
begin our day with HIIT, we’ll feel full of
juice for the rest of it.“The moves are
tough,” he says. “You don’t have to
breathe through them, just go
as hard as you can before
pausing.” Do each move
for 30 seconds, rest
for 30, then repeat
three more times.

STEP1Runner’s lunge TIP!

TARGETS Glutes, thighs
Simmonds
1 Stand with your hands on your hips.
recommends doing
2 Step back, bending your left le at these HIIT moves in the
90˚. Get your knee as close to the loor morning, on an empty
as possible (without touching it! stomach, before having
3 Using that glute, drive back some overnight oats
into standing position and kick. with a banana.
4 Repeat with your right leg.
WORDS CATRIONA INNES, MEGAN LEVERS. PHOTOGRAPH SHUTTERSTOCK.
ILLUSTRATIONS LIZZY THOMAS. GET IT DONE BY BRADLEY SIMMONDS
(HQ, £16.99). FIND HIM ON INSTAGRAM @BRADLEYSIMMONDS
 STEP2Mountainjacks STEP4Sprints
TARGETS Glutes, core
TARGETS Glutes, thighs 1 Start sprinting on
1 Start in plank – back straight, your the spot, bringing
chest aligned with your hands. each elbow to the
2 Engage your abs and glutes – and opposite knee.
ensure your bum isn’t in the air. 2 Bring your knees
3 Bring one knee into your up as high as possib
chest, then move it back keeping your
to starting position and body straig
bring the other in. and balanc
4 Now jump both 3 If you be
feet out, then to wobble,
back to starting slow down
position, once, but push
quickly. yourself as
5 Got the hang hard as you
of it? Now do can. You got this.
it again, faster.

STEP3Chest-to-floorbur ee STEP5Squatwalks
TARGETS Full body, upper body, glutes TARGETS Glutes, thighs
1 Begin standing up straight. 1 Begin in a squat stance – hips
2 Bend knees, then jump back back, knees in line with fe t
into a plank position. 2 Lower down, an when
3 Lower your chest to the loor, you’re at your low s ,
pushing your elbows behi d you. take four steps fo r
4 Once you’re as close t t e floor as 3 Explode into
possible, push back up i t plank. a squat jump.

C O S M O P O L I TA
5 Now go back down o t 4 Land back

AN ·
your chest once more. on your feet,
6 Push back to standin and repeat.
 O’NEILL S/S 18
Swimsuit, £46, Backpack, around £15, Finis
Seaspray

Foam roller, £49.95, Nike

Pedometer watch,
£70, Swimovate Swimming cap,
PoolMate at £17.95, Adidas
Goggles, Simplyswim.com
£15.95, Adidas

WATER
Sliders,
£30, Lacoste
at Asos.com

Towel, £44.99, O’Neill

BABY
Take your strokes to the next level Underwater MP3
player, £85, Finis
in the sleekest of swimming gear at Wiggle.co.uk
Paddle, £17 (part
Swimsuit,
of set), Speedo
at Wiggle.co.uk PSST…
Lie face up and hold
£285, Caroline
Constas at
Net-a-porter
a kickboard to your .com
chest – it’ll make your
abs work hard to
keep your head
above
a
ter.

Nose clip,
£4, Arena
Flip flops, £26, Havaianas
at Simply
swim.com
COMPILED BY MADDY ALFORD

Water shoes, £8.50,

Hot Tuna at Sports Direct

Kickboard, £15, Dumbbells, £22,

DHB at Wiggle.co.uk Speedo.com

44 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 SOMETIMES IT’S WHAT’S ON THE OUTSIDE THAT COUNTS

PUMP IT UP
We spent hours, OK, maybe days, perfecting
her nonchalant cat-eye flick, wrestled a granny
to the floor in Marks & Spencer to get our hands
on that iconic ruffle-neck shirt, and despaired
that our wardrobes were like a bad jumble-sale
rail in comparison to hers. Now Alexa Chung has
WORDS AMY BANNERMAN. PHOTOGRAPH LEO ACKER

put her heart and literal sole into a collaboration

with Italian pump brand Superga. These new
kicks come in high/low and backless styles, as
well as classic white and satin jewel colours,
which are totally evening-appropriate. But how
does the queen of insouciant chic wear hers?
“Personally, I like to wear mine with dungarees
or jeans and a denim jacket,” she told us.
*Cue frantic googling of dungarees*
Superga x Alexa Chung, from £72

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 49
 Need an effort-free
way to update your
look? We’ve got 64 of
’em. Spring’s hottest
bags have landed…

t's al in the
Senior
Fashion Editor
SAIREY STEMP
Photographer
CAROLINE
LEEMING

Top, £28; shorts,

£32, both River
Island. Bag,
£335, Yosuzi
 SHOP
£24,
Topshop
ME NOW
£250,
£30,
Michael
Oasis
Michael
Kors

£49.99,
TK Maxx

£45, V by
Very.co.uk

£22.99,
New
Look

£89,
Plümo
The woven
basket
Pop one of these on your arm and you’ll
forever feel like you’re wandering through
a sunny market in Marrakech. Feel free
to add a cherry on top. Also, pompoms
£390,
Loeffler
Randall Psst... Raw textures like these can snag
embroidery or delicate fabrics like silk. £16,
When you’re taking your woven tote Peacocks
out, stick to tougher fabrics such
as denim, cotton or corduroy.

£78, Sensi
Studio at The
Outnet.com

£100,
Claudie
Pierlot

£45, Nine by
Savannah Miller
at Debenhams i
£18, Matalan

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 51
 £440, Orla
Kiely at
Very
£250, Aspinal exclusive.
Of London co.uk

£110, Matt & Nat

£26, £12,
Warehouse Asos.com

£180,
Maykher.com

The
mega tote
£125, Mix/Zocalo £99,
Chic by Label: What’s a girl to do when she needs Ri2k
Mix at Next.co.uk to buy four pints of milk, a set of
encyclopaedias and a Shetland pony?
Turn up the volume, of course

Psst... Rooting through one of these

supersizers to find your keys isn’t fun.
Keep go-to essentials in a make-up bag
and attach to the inside of your
tote with ribbon or cord.
£375,
Tory
Burch

£45, Label
£99, Kurt Lab at House
Geiger Of Fraser
London

£45, M&S £18, George

Collection

£89,
Whistles

52 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
Shirt dress,
£395, Victoria,
Victoria
Beckham. Bag,
£185, Essentiel
Antwerp.
Rings (left
hand), £65;
(right hand)
£65, £140,
all Pandora i
Jacket, £315; trousers,
£185, both Sandro.
Multicoloured bag,
£490, Les Petits
Joueurs. Blue bag,
£22, Oasis. Ring,
£140, Pandora
 £65,
Zatchels

£189.99,
Ecco
£650, Hill
& Friends
£260,
Sandro

£65,
Dune
London

£110,
Tommy The mini £8,
Hilfiger
cross-body Primark

“All my stuff? Oh, it’s outside in the

limo with my driver. I only carry the
£25, Star by
essentials.” Presenting the sleekest,
Julien Macdonald chicest way to roll this season
at Debenhams

Psst... Use your strap to adjust your look: long

for a classic effect that’s perfect for work, or when
it’s playtime, shorten as far as it’ll go and wear £115, Bimba
Y Lola
high for a more versatile, sporty look.

£280, Diesel £59, Guess

£

£99, Kurt
Geiger £90, Cath
London Kidston i

£250, Theory

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 55
 £22, Eastpak

£18, Miss
Selfridge

£80,
Lacoste

£210, Diesel

£70, Biba
at House
Of Fraser

£22,
V by
Very.
£22,
Accessorize The new co.uk

bumbag
£22, V by
Very.co.uk To recap, for those recently returned from the £12.99,
moon: in the fashion world, this little bag is New Look
now a big deal. The ’90s revival continues.
Fingers crossed for a Dawson’s Creek reunion

Psst... Want to infiltrate the fashion elite?

Wear yours casually slung cross-body (right). £28,
Topshop
£19.99, Mi-Pac The classic way works, too: thread a mini
version through the belt loops of your jeans.

£17.99,
Lamoda.co.uk

£105, Bimba
Y Lola

£6, Primark

£29, Urban
Outfitters £15,
Asos.com

£12.99,
£178, Kate
New Look
Spade New
York

56 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
Shirt, £220; dress,
£350; bag, £195;
sunglasses, from
a selection, all
House Of Holland X

Hair Jason Crozier at

Stella Creative Artists,
using Sachajuan and
Milk + Blush hair
extensions. Make-up
Rebekah Lidstone at
Stella Creative Artists,
using Too Faced.
Model Marine Dandoy
at The Squad. Fashion
assistant Emily Bond
HEY, 3 CHOOSE

HOW DO
YOUR SHADE
If your skin has warm
undertones, you’ll be able to
pull off richer, deeper shades

IYellow?
WEAR…
of yellow, such as mustard or
amber. On skin with cooler
undertones, pastel will look
best. Not sure which you are?
If the veins on your inner
wrist look blue-ish, you
have cool undertones; if they
…without looking like look more green, you’re a
Laa-Laa the Teletubby warm-toned gal. True Crayola
brights and neons look best
on darker skin tones (just tell
your friends not to forget
their sunglasses).

1 WHY IT
WORKS
Agreed, yellow is a tricky
colour. It’s easy to look
washed out or garish
wearing it next to your
face. But balance
sweetcorn-coloured
trousers out with a
pastel-pink long-line 4 COLOUR
jacket and you’ll nail it. PAIRINGS
Think back to the colour wheel
from primary school. Purple
and yellow sit on opposite
sides of the wheel, meaning
they’re complementary
colours and work together
well – same with yellow and
blue. Earth tones such as
brown and rust, meanwhile,
2 STYLE IT RIGHT play nicely with similarly
The trick to being taken seriously earthy yellows. This season
when wearing yellow is all in the also brought forth lots of
styling. Tailored pieces like trousers, unexpected colour mash-ups,
blazers or structured jumpsuits all like Kate’s golden yellow
look grown-up because they err on with pastel pink. Still scared?
the side of formal. A short slip dress Neutrals like grey, black, nude
is elegant for evening, and can be and white are fail-safes.
dressed up or down. Or, just add a
pop of the colour via your accessories
– a bag charm, phone case or high
heel. Head-to-toe yellow is probably
best saved for the red carpet.

Kate Bosworth

58 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 4 THE ACCESSORY
Fashion stylist Emili knows the simplest
yellow hack: save it for your accessories
if you’re not feeling it as a separate. Brown
(especially in on-trend corduroy) and
yellow are perfect together (see tip 4
for more on earth tones), and neutrals
and pastels blend in without overpowering.
The bright flash of colour from the
accessories helps to add playfulness
to an otherwise elegant outfit. A*.

Blazer, £69.99, H&M. Top, £89, Finery. Skirt,

£35.99, Mango. Bag, £450, Shrimps at
Matchesfashion.com. Shoes, £149, Kurt Geiger

Emili Sindlev

4 THE SUNNY SLIP

A loose, short slip dress is a great canvas for
this bold hue, because you’ll still have lots
of skin on show, meaning the colour won’t
be overwhelming. Blue is a complementary
colour, so a denim jacket or silky bomber
are ideal layers for your look. Hailey’s
WORDS AND STYLING MADDY ALFORD. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, REX FEATURES, ACIELLE/STYLEDUMONDE.COM, PIXELATE

darker yellow shade plays well with her

tan – it could leave someone with cooler
skin tones looking washed-out.

Jacket, £255, Colmar. Dress,

£12, Missguided. Sunglasses,
£16, River Island. Bag, £75,
Paul’s Boutique. Boots, £30,

Hailey Baldwin
Hidden Fashion PSST...
Against a yellow
one-piece, navy is
less harsh than black,
and makes bright,
canary shades more
wearable.

4 THE TROUSER
If a trouser-and-blazer combo is
o formal for you, take inspiration
m Victoria’s Secret model Nadine
and p your look off with a white
e
ee. Tailoring not your thing?
r ck pant with trainers keeps
the look on-trend and casual.

T-shirt, £65, Etre Cécile. Trousers, £149,

Baum Und Pferdgarten. Necklace, £45,
Rachel Jackson London. Earrings, £53,
Taddaandtoy.com. Trainers, £39.95,
United Colors Of Benetton
Nadine
Leopold

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 59
 £177, Black
Eyewear
GUCCI S/S 18

£190, Markus
Lupfer x Linda
Farrow

£69,
Po
oppylissiman.
com

£5.99, H&M

Hello £10, Claire’s

£239, Miu Miu

HEART EYES at Sunglass Hut
Team with faded
denim flares and
a shrunken tee to
look like you’ve just
stepped out of That £3, Primark
’70s Show. (Ashton
Kutcher sadly not
included)

£220,
Yazbukey
x Linda
Farrow

60 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 THE
EDIT
£15.99, Zara

FAR OUT
Super-slanty shades:
£160, Illesteva
stylish, spunky and
perfect for hiding
eye-roll when your
PRADA S/S 18

£12, Asos.com
mum’s bemoaning
Auntie Sue’s potato
salad again

su shine The sun has got his hat on, so you should be accessorising, too.
Whether you’re into heart eyes, cat eyes or just enjoy giving the
occasional side eye, here’s our pick of the hottest shade shapes i
Senior Fashion Editor S A I R E Y S T E M P

£715, Linda Farrow £118, Gigi Hadid for Vogue Eyewear £12, River Island

£290, Céline £10, Monki £177, Black Eyewear

£7.99, New Look £71, Poppylissiman.com £14, Asos.com i

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 61
 £18, Topshop

£47, £157, Emporio

Poppylissiman.com Armani at Sunglass Hut

£180, No.21 x Linda Farrow £90, Toms

£180, Kaleos Eyehunters £7.99, New Look

£120, L F Markey £75, Le Specs

CAT EYES

GUCCI S/S 18
The more angled
ALBERTA FERRETTI S/S 18

these bad boys are,

the fiercer, and
more feline, you’ll
look. A pussycat in
lion’s clothing,
if you will

OVER-THE-TOP
For the brave. Or the
£85, Le Specs at Revolve.com £177, Black Eyewear
hungover/very tired/
*insert your issue
here* – these will
divert attention
£159, Kymesunglasses.com £14, Urban Outfitters from your pasty
pertly
p y

£160, Illesteva £159, McQ

£300, Moncler

£12, River Island £280, Linda Farrow

62 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 £335, Gucci at
Coggles.com £320, Cutler And Gross £49.95, Komono

£12, River Island £165, Stella McCartney

£87, Poppylissiman.com £220, Freda Banana

at Net-a-porter.com

£118, Gigi Hadid £17.99, Mango

for Vogue Eyewear

£160, Kymesunglasses.com £45, Quay Australia

ROUND
Part beach chic, part
BOTTEGA VENETA S/S 18

festival cool. Pair

these with tousled
hair to look Palm
Springs, even if
you’re only in
Portsmouth

£33, Izipizi £136, Ray-Ban

OBLONG PHOTOGRAPHS JASON LLOYD-EVANS

Yes, Gucci’s shades

£75, Le Specs £8.99, H&M
aren’t unlike the 3D
glasses you get at
GUCCI S/S 18

the cinema. No, you

can’t just wear your
£255, Oliver Peoples £25, Skinny Dip
Odeon
Od freebies
f bi

£160, Illesteva

£535, Linda Farrow £310, Christopher Kane

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 63
6
 WORK SMARTER, NOT HARDER…
WORDS JENNIFER SAVIN. PHOTOGRAPH LOUISA PARRY. *OH SH*T, I ALMOST KILLED YOU! BY SONJA SCHWARTZBACH, OUT NOW

NEW CAREER BREWING

First came the fashion bloggers, then the beauty vloggers, then the fit-fluencers. Now, it’s ‘cloggers’ – yep, that’s
career bloggers: people who write about their 9-to-5s. The Secret Barrister offers a fly-on-the-wall view of the
criminal justice system, Nurse Sonja’s musings from the A&E frontline are so compulsive, they’re now a book*,
and Dutch Pilot Girl impresses 92,000+ followers with an insight into life at 35,000ft. So, how do you turn
your part-time gig into a like-fest? Beckii Cruel, of influencer marketing agency Social Circle, advises balancing
education and entertainment: “Combine making your audience laugh – or cry – with useful tips they can deploy
in their own lives.” Not sure it’s for you? Use the trend to find frank career advice, by searching out the
hashtags for your dream job (just take the profession and add the word ‘life’). Next up: commutefluencers.

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 65
 T GET
Want a free pep talk from the stars of business and beyond? Step this wayy
THE

T
hey’ve launched hundreds TALK controversial opinion. are really difficult,
of careers, landed unknowns She talks about times in especially when they
lucrative book deals and GET COMFORTABLE her life when she’s said are needed.”
notched up billions of views WITH BEING something she assumed Apply it: Criticising
on YouTube. Ted Talks are a UNCOMFORTABLE would be unpopular an idea or process thatt
phenomenon – we started ‘leaning (like criticising a everyone else seems OK
in’ thanks to Sheryl Sandberg’s Why The idea: Be well-known author), with may not seem lik ke
We Have Too Few Women Leaders, the domino. only to realise others it’s worth the trouble
we upped our sleep game because Who: Luvvie not only felt the same, – but chances are
of Arianna Huffington’s rallying Ajayi – but were thankful she’d others are sitting theree
cry, and we know a good chunk of a writer and activist started the conversation. thinking it’s a duff ide
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s We who calls herself a Quote: “For a line of too. In these instances,
Should All Be Feminists after Beyoncé “professional shade dominoes to fall, one Ajayi has three questio s
sampled it on Flawless. But finding thrower”, and whose has to fall first, which she asks herself. “One
new talks can be tough – each one fans include Bono then leaves the others Do you mean it? Two:
is supposed to be on an ‘idea worth and Shonda Rhimes. choiceless to do the Can you defend it?
spreading’, but often it’s a trope What? Ajayi believes same… Being the Three: Are you sayin it
you’ve heard before. We’ve waded troublemakers can domino, for me, looks with love? If the ans
through hours of footage to find the make real change – like speaking up and is yes to all three, I say it
talks that will actually inspire you. just by stating the doing the things that and let the chips fall.

66 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
Ashley Judd
salutes the
power of a
good Ted Talk

67
 THE THE THE THE
TALK TALK TALK TALK
WHAT I LEARNED HOW FRUSTRATION WHY IT’S TIME TO THE SURPRISING
FROM 100 DAYS CAN MAKE US FORGET THE PECKING HABITS OF
OF REJECTION MORE CREATIVE ORDER AT WORK ORIGINAL THINKERS
The idea: The idea: The idea: The idea:
Rejection Deliberate Superflocks. Vuja de.
resilience. disruption. Who: Who: Adam
Who: Jia Who: Tim Margaret Grant
Jiang – author, blogger, Harford – financial Heffernan – former – psychology professor
entrepreneur and all- journalist and author CEO of five companies and author of New
round charming man. of the book Messy: The and business author. York Times bestsellers
What? Jiang overcame Power Of Disorder To What? In a famous Originals and Give
his paralysing fear of Transform Our Lives. experiment, a biologist And Take. He also
rejection by forcing What? We all like it put together a flock of co-wrote Sheryl
himself to confront it when things happen very productive chickens, Sandberg’s Option B.
every day for 100 days. easily, right? Except for thinking it’d produce a What? Like the reverse
He began by asking a Harford, who argues ‘superflock’ and lots of of déjà vu, silly.“Vuja
stranger for $100 (er, no, that the more awkward eggs. It didn’t. Only three de is when you look at
mate) and eventually and messy the process, chickens survived – the something you’ve seen
convinced a university the better the outcome. rest were pecked to many times before and
professor to let him He cites how students death. In comparison, all of a sudden see it

WORDS CLARE THORP. PHOTOGRAPHS MARLA AUFMUTH/TED, GETTY IMAGES, JAMES DUNCAN DAVIDSON/TED, BRET HARTMAN/TED, RYAN LASH/TED
teach a course. He who were given an ‘average’ flock were with fresh eyes,” says
found the more he got handouts in thriving. Heffernan says Grant. According to
used to the word ‘no’, ‘difficult’ fonts, this is like many offices him, it’s one of the
the easier it was to stay like italicised – and instead of striving most common habits
and challenge it. “Confront Comic Sans (our to hire the very best, we of creative people.
Quote: “People who
really change the world,
yourself with eyes!), did better
in tests, as it
should work together to
become the best team.
Encouraging doubt
– not in yourself, but in
who change the way we things you’re forced them to Quote: “No idea is born an idea – is a good thing.
live and think, are the scared of” slow down and fully formed. It emerges Quote: “It’s about
people who were met work harder. a little bit as a child is being the kind of
with initial and often Quote: “The born… messy and person who takes the
violent rejections.” ugly font, the confused but full of initiative to doubt the
Apply it: This is the awkward stranger, the possibilities – and it’s default and look for
basic premise of random move… these only through generous a better option.”
exposure therapy: disruptions help us solve contribution, faith and Apply it: Don’t accept
confront yourself with problems, they help us challenge that they the first version of
things you’re afraid of. become more creative.” achieve their potential.” something. Try to leave
Scared of cold-calling Apply it: Find a way to Apply it: Got an idea yourself enough time
clients? Do it every day. challenge your normal you think would work, to go back to a project,
And next time you’re routine. Think you’re but not quite sure how? document or important
knocked back, instead best in the morning? Suggest a brainstorm email – even if it’s just
of running home and Start a project at night. with colleagues. the next day. And if you
diving headfirst into Write out a proposal by Work alone? Ask your suspect something can
a tub of Ben & Jerry’s, hand instead of typing contacts’ opinions on be done better, dig
force yourself to ask it first. Basically mess projects – they might around to find another
(nicely) why. At the very around with things a bit. see things differently. way to do it. ◆
least, you’ll get useful
feedback – and you PSST... Want to know the number one thing Cosmopolitan editor-in-chief Farrah Storr
could end up changing has learned in her career? Check out her Ted Talk at Cosmopolitan.com/uk/
FarrahsTedTalk
someone’s mind.

68 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 SELF
‘Test, MADE
learn and
move on’
From leading a huge company
to co-founding AllBright, a
members’ club for women in
business, ANNA JONES, 43, has
the pedigree to pass on advice

³Don’t let a good idea get away

If you can’t leave an idea alone, then don’t.
Before setting up AllBright, a members’
AS TOLD TO JENNIFER SAVIN. PHOTOGRAPH TIM BISHOP. *ACCORDING TO DATA FROM M&A, PRIVATE EQUITY, AND VC DATABASE PITCHBOOK

club and 360° support system for women in

business, I was the CEO of publishers Hearst
UK. I’d spent years working my way up –
I was in charge of the best part of 1,000 ANNA’S BUSINESS AllBright, we tried to create a crowd-
people, but had always wanted to start my ESSENTIALS funding platform. It wasn’t working in the
own company. Six months after reading way we’d hoped, so we created the members’
the shocking data surrounding female Podcast: club. I’m a marketer at heart and have seen
entrepreneurs [just 2% of all venture capital I love Badass first-hand that the best way to operate is to
went to female founders last year*], and Women’s Hour, test, learn and move on – and keep getting
hosted by three
meeting my co-founder Debbie Wosskow, businesswomen who I find
feedback. I’m not suggesting that if you
a serial entrepreneur, I knew I had to make very cool and inspirational. have a business selling handbags and that
the leap. We sketched out our first business- My co-founder and I went fails, you move on to buying rocket ships.
plan draft on the back of a menu and on the show as agony aunts It’s about evolving. If handbags didn’t
never looked back. We named the business once – it was so much fun. work, why not try suitcases instead?
Book: I read it
after [US politician] Madeleine Albright, ³Combine purpose and profit
about 10 years
who said, “There’s a special place in hell ago, but still It’s vital you do something you care
for women who don’t help each other.” recommend about. A lot of the women I meet at work
³Value your reputation Freakonomics by Stephen have businesses with a mission: they marry
Imagine your mum is sitting next to your J Dubner and Steven purpose and profit. Quite often, people
Levitt. It takes data
desk or that what you say’s being broadcast. come up with great ideas when they
and looks at the art of
Reputation is everything and it never ceases storytelling with stats. encounter something in their own lives that
to amaze me how many people don’t act Publication: could be made better. It wasn’t until I got
professionally at work. It’s important to THE WEEK
The Week – it the spark of AllBright that I knew it was
be authentic, but keep the conversations has information time to answer my entrepreneurial calling.
you have over cocktails separate. on everything 4Want to start your own business?
that’s happened in the past
³Keep getting feedback seven days. It’s great for
Join us at the Cosmopolitan Self Made
People talk about ‘failing fast’ in business, people who have no time Summit, 14th-15th April 2018. Book now
but few actually do. When we first started but want to stay informed. at Selfmadesummit.co.uk

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 71
‘I ALWAYS
WANTEDTO
BE THE
Actress, wife, mother,
activist… best not to
mess with Zoe Saldana,
as we found out i
Wo r d s L O T T I E L U M S D E N
Photographs MAX ABADIAN
 CELEBRITY

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 73
 Z
CELEBRITY

oe Saldana takes a sip of rosé everything going on in Hollywood

in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein
from a white-china cup and looks out towards harrassment scandal and subsequent
the mellowing LA skyline. We’ve been together #MeToo and Time’s Up movements,
of which she is very much a part.
since 9am this morning and choosing to “My husband has been an
inspiration in this whole thing,” she
drink wine out of a coffee cup is probably says.“The conversations we’ve been
the least surprising thing about the actress. having, safely and intimately, have
been evolving. And it’s been very
On set, shortly after she decamped there were the promotional tours rewarding. He is a part of the #MeToo
into the make-up chair, a small shoal for the franchises, moving house group.” She adds, “We have to broaden
of children arrived with a rugged, and, you know… giving birth to Zen. the narrative of #MeToo. The same
handsome, long-haired Italian man “It [2017] was my most hectic year,” way it applies to victims, it should
and a smiling older couple in tow. she smiles. “A lot happened in our apply to men who were blind who
have now seen. If there is one thing
PREVIOUS SPREAD: TOP AND TROUSERS, AU JOUR LE JOUR. THIS PAGE: TOP; SKIRT; BRIEFS; BELT, ALL NO.21

This was Saldana’s family – her lives. I was dividing my time between
three sons, Cy, Bowie, and Zen, her my family life, personal life and I have to advise, it’s to be kind to the
husband, Marco, and his parents. The also two of my movies, which were men who are making an effort and
children did what children do – ran shooting in different locations – don’t put them all in one box. Let’s
about, shrieked, but also snuck a look Atlanta and Los Angeles. It became not do to others what has been done
at mummy at work on set. Saldana very stressful. I realised that life needs to us. If we know how bad it’s felt
explains that it’s important they to be more balanced. Not only was it for so long, then we know what
see she is happy at work – that’s affecting me, but it was affecting my not to do and how not to teach.”
one of the reasons she tries to children and husband.” Twins Cy and It’s easy to forget up here in the
bring them to everything she does. Bowie are three, and Zen is now one. calm of the Hollywood Hills, amid
Marco, meanwhile, is a quieter, “A lot of decisions were the swaying palms and
steady presence, always watching. made for the betterment multi-million-dollar
Watching and smiling, like the of our health.” mansions, that Hollywood
most handsome pirate on earth. Saldana and Marco is burning up, vaporised
Saldana, 39, made the decision last married in 2013, with her “I realised that from the inside out by one
year that her family should join her
at work wherever possible. She’d
artist husband famously
taking the actress’s name,
life needs of the biggest revolutions
to have ever hit the
had a crazy few years of it, what to become Marco Perego- to be more industry. But when you
with filming Avengers: Infinity War Saldana. She says he is her balanced” are living and breathing
(out this month), Guardians Of The greatest confidante, and it every day, like Saldana, it
Galaxy Vol. 2, and starting work on that it is he she turned can never be far from your
the long-awaited Avatar 2. And then to while trying to process mind. “I get choked up,” i

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 75
CELEBRITY

she says, her eyes widening. When she Get Over It with Kirsten Dunst. treated like an extra, but in a very
tries to speak again her voice is hoarse, But it didn’t take long for Saldana despicable way by people who don’t
constricted by palpable emotion, to realise that being a woman in the even speak properly…’ my time is
something I’ll see time and again film industry came with its issues. being wasted. A lot of that has to
throughout our interview. “Never “You cry [now], because you didn’t do with your personal insecurities,
in my life would I have dreamed know how hard you had it,” she says. too, though, and your inflated ego.
what happened last year. We were all “Now I see it differently. We were So I was immature also.”
reaching out to each other, as women, all suffering quietly... The high Still, that experience almost led
providing care for each other.” She road for a woman for centuries was to her quitting the industry. And
pauses. “I never experienced that when silence. You kind of go, ‘F*ck!’ The new it was only her next job, a Steven
I arrived in Hollywood 20 years ago.” high road is speaking up. I don’t want Spielberg production alongside
Saldana moved here aged 19 and, to go back to feeling minimised and Tom Hanks, that stopped her.
soon after, was cast as a ballet dancer in like I’m lucky to be here. It was unfair “I booked [my role in] The Terminal
her debut film, Center Stage. She had and uneven… from how you built right after, so I got to work with an
been signed to a talent agency after the part to why you were cast…” Her amazing director who is known for
they spotted her in a New York Youth voice breaks. “To how you are dressed. being humble and a mentor,” she says.
Theatre production of Joseph And The And that one scene where you have How did she get her passion back?
Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. to be in your underwear and why you “By speaking up. I shared [my
Although she was born in New have to have this sex scene that feels experience] with him, and he said,
Jersey, she moved to the Dominican gratuitous. Or when you arrive on set ‘That’s very unfortunate you went
Republic aged nine with and see your male director through that. But keep doing this.
her Puerto-Rican mother and male co-star having You’re really good at it. There are
and two sisters, Mariel a collaborative discussion good people out there.’
and Cisely, after her father, about a scene that involves “He would invite me to sit with
who was Dominican, “I don’t want you and you’re not a part him on set – there would be a chair
tragically died in a car you to just of it because you’re the right next to his. It made my heart
crash. Later, they moved
to New York. Growing up,
post me on serviceable character.
And how hurt you then
ache with happiness because he
remembered that I’d been made
her role model was Alien’s your wall” feel in your trailer. I don’t to feel so irrelevant before and
Ellen Ripley. “She was want to go back to that. he went out of his way to make
everything,” she says. “It was You feel stupid. I don’t me feel the exact opposite.”
all I wanted to watch. It want to hear another Shortly after, Saldana made her
wasn’t easy for me to look at princess man tell me, ‘Oh, you were my muse’. name as warrior Neytiri in James
movies – I always wanted to be the I don’t want to f*cking be your muse Cameron’s epic Avatar in 2009. Until
warrior, or the ninja.” As a child, any more. I don’t want you to just December (when Star Wars: The Force
Saldana describes herself as “insecure, post me on your wall and look at me. Awakens overtook), it was still the
vulnerable, confident… but also a I want you to listen to me!” highest-grossing film in US history,
loner. I was picked on by other girls. Saldana’s first big film role came having pulled in a lifetime gross
I always felt I was the luckiest girl in the form of pirate Anamaria, of £542million. She’s in the middle
because my best friends were my in 2003’s Pirates Of The Caribbean: of filming the long-awaited second
sisters, but they have said, ‘It must have The Curse Of The Black Pearl. It was instalment now, in cinemas in 2020.
been painful for you as you cried a lot.’” a learning curve. “I was very young But two years ago, trouble brewed
Arriving in Hollywood for the first – it was my first massive production again... this time for very different
time was “fun”, she smiles. “It was of a movie. I was dealing with a lot of reasons, when Saldana took the
DRESS, PHILOSOPHY DI LORENZO SERAFINI

great. You arrive here and you’re just people who were great and a lot of eponymous role in the biopic of
as innocent and impervious to good people who were not so great. I left singer and civil rights activist Nina
[as you are to] bad things. You learn that experience feeling a little bitter,” Simone. Social media, as well as
as you grow – what to do, who you she says. “It was super-elitest. My time certain factions of the press, were
should not ever work with again…” is everything to me. And when I don’t incensed that she had had to wear
She laughs. “And who you should spend it wisely I am unhappy. So dark make-up to play the part,
have been more thankful to.” if I’m like, ‘I could have been with because her skin was too light.
Small film roles came early on in my family, in school learning, or At the time, she tweeted a Nina
Crossroads with Britney Spears and travelling, and instead I’m here being Simone quote, ‘“I’ll tell you what i

76 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
CELEBRITY

freedom is to me – no fear. I mean,

really no fear,” #NinaSimone.’ Simone’s
estate responded by tweeting, ‘Cool
story but please take Nina’s name out
your mouth. For the rest of your life.’
Today, Saldana is reflective about
the whole situation. “There’s a
personal feeling because I’m a human
being. I had my reactions to that, but
there is also an acknowledgement
that it’s a systemic issue and I’m just
a fragment in it. Listening was the
only answer at that time. Not to the
hate, but to the facts, and the issues.
I learned a lot, but I have no regrets
about why I decided to do it. I just
wanted her story to be told. Nobody
else was willing to do it,” she says.
This is not the first time Saldana’s
ethnicity has caused her grief. As
well as everything that comes with
being a woman in Hollywood, she
has found herself, at times, “dealing
with race on top of that”. She reveals,
“That was quite difficult because it
was hurtful. It has always been hurtful.
I’ve always known it’s wrong.”
Frustrated by her own experiences,
in 2013, Saldana co-founded
production company Cinestar
Pictures with her sisters, aiming to
create content that reflected them,
as women. Then, in February this
year, she and her husband launched
BESE, a digital media company that
focuses on empowering Latinos.
Does she feel she has had to work It’s time.‘Time’s Up’!” What’s the other,” she muses. “I was my own
harder because of her skin colour? answer? “Standing up and speaking person. I think art should really start
“I’m not going to sugar-coat it for with love and respect whenever you depicting women more accurately.”
you,” she smiles, sadly. “Ask any artist feel you’ve been treated unfairly.” With that, it’s time for us to go.
of colour if they feel like they have This month, Saldana reprises her The sky has blackened around us and
to work harder. I don’t mean that we role as green the temperature dipped. She grabs
deserve any special treatment – I don’t anti-heroine her blazer and pulls it tight around
want anybody’s sympathy. But I do Gamora in her body as she makes her way to
encourage empathy because you do Avengers: the purring car in the driveway. She
have to work twice as hard to make “Art should Infinity War. envelopes me in the sort of hug an
someone in a position of power
who has the power to f*ck with your
be depicting “Maybe I chose
to live in space
old friend would pull you into. And
then, just like that, she’s gone. Back
life and your dreams see why they women more for many [of home to her babies. To her husband.
should hire you, and why you are accurately” my] roles, To saving the world. Whether that is
the right person for the role.” because in on-screen or in her own universe. ◆
“We are yet to have an Asian space I wasn’t Avengers: Infinity War, in cinemas
superhero. And I’m waiting for that. just someone’s 26th April

78 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
TOP AND TROUSERS, AS BEFORE. SHOES, PIERRE HARDY. SENIOR FASHION EDITOR SAIREY STEMP. FASHION ASSISTANT MADDY ALFORD. HAIR MARA ROSZAK AT STARWORKS ARTISTS, USING LIVING PROOF. MAKE-UP VERA STEIMBERG
AT CRITERION GROUP, USING CHANEL AND NARS COSMETICS. NAILS TINA AU, USING SECHE VITE TOP COAT. PROP STYLIST DANNY DIAMOND. PRODUCTION A+ PRODUCTIONS. ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES

Zoe Saldana 2020: Neytiri, Avatar 2

“It’s wonderful to be back filming.
Kate Winslet has joined our cast, and
we just had our first full rehearsal,
2013:
2013: Uh
Uhura, Star Trek Into Darkness

2011: Dir
irect
ectss shor
shortt d
starring Bradley Coop
drama, Kaylien,
ooper
er
HOME

which involved tapping her into all of

the emotional beats that her character 2009: Neytiri, Avatar
needs to have in relation to ours.” “II played this warrior, which was
ammazing, as the female icons I’d
2018: Gamora, Avengers: Infinity War adm mired grow
rowing
ing up were created by
“A lot of the women from the Marvel Jamess Cameron – Alien’s Ellen Ripley
universe are involved in the Time’s Up and Th he Terminator’s
r Sarah Connor.”
movement. We all reached out at the
time and encouraged each other to 2009: Uhura, Star Trek
send emails and make phone calls to
MY CV

“I’m part off a series that has made

bosses and producers. And we did – history. It bro
ough
ghtt peop
people
le together
th 50
and they replied. It was inspiring.” years ago whe en it was unimaginable.
Uhura gave the e African-American
2018: Launches BESE community the aspirations
a it needed;
“Latinos are expected to comprise it gave them prese ence in high ranks.”
30% of the US working population by
2060. BESE is an acknowledgement
2007: Kat, After Sex
x
of where we’re headed.”
INTERESTS

2004: Andrea, Haven

2017: Gamora, Guardians
Of The Galaxy Vol. 2
2004: Dolores Torres, Thee Terminal
“[Working with] Steven Spieelberg
2016: Lieutenant Uhura, Star Trek
reminded me that I mattered.
d I have
Beyond
had all these mentors in my life
fe:
2016: Nina Simone, Nina my mum, my ballet teacher, Steven,
James Cameron. Whenever my sp pirit
2014: Gamora, Guardians was broken, they’d restore my faithh
AWA R DS

Of The Galaxy in people and what I was doing.”

“I don’t see Gamora as tough, [I] just
[see] how broken she is and that’s 2002: Kit, Crossroads
what makes me like her. The fact that
she can kick ass and defend herself 2001: Maggie, Get Over It
makes her a complete woman.”
2000: Eva, Center Stage
2013: Co-founds Cinestar Pictures
production company with sisters 1999: Belinca, Law & Order
REFERENCES

“My sisters and I have never felt bad

about what we look like. We are 1995: Burger King, server
American. Cinestar, and the content “I was 17 and making my own money.
we create, is for that and about that.” I had a blast! It was empowering.”

E D U C AT I O N
Newtown High School, New York
“Growing up, I was pretty wholesome. I was a little bit of everything
– brave, a coward, insecure, scared but also very confident.”
ECOS Espacio de Danza Dance Academy, Dominican Republic
SUICIDE
Suzie* is a 17-year-old schoolgirl.
She struggles with making
friends and seeks solace
in chatrooms in her bedroom

Suzie is actually Danny,

a 24-year-old reporter for
Cosmopolitan on the hunt
for online predators

80 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 READ

BY SOCIAL MEDIA
Matthew* is a 33-year-old
office worker. He is lonely and
seeks friendship with young
women on the internet

Matthew is also an
¶DGPLQLVWUDWRU·IRU
Blue Whale, a suicide
cult that lures young
women to their deaths

For six weeks, Daniella Scott was groomed by an online figure who convinced her he
was her best friend – until he asked her to commit the unspeakable. What happened
over the next few weeks is one of the most shocking stories you will read all year i
Photog raphs S A R A H B R O W N
 aring back
kind and
is face is
dark hair,
ree-day
d a pair of
tal-rimmed
e’ve been
n-stop for
this is the
I’ve seen his
ace of the
confided
y darkest,
onal
“I care
,” he tells
always here
e says he
best for
me, that I can trust
him to look after me and, most
importantly, that he is the person
who is going to guide me through
a series of tasks, culminating in my
suicide in 50 days’ time. This is what
‘best friends’ do, he tells me.
Last year, a Russian man named
Philipp Budeikin was jailed for
inciting two young girls to attempt
suicide, through an online social-
media game he claimed to have
invented, called ‘Blue Whale’. Danny used filters
to make her photos
Budeikin had never met these girls
look younger
or spoken with them face-to-face.
Instead, he’d infiltrated their lives
through their social media, putting
himself astride every update: 17 girls, and it was reported that the about building a picture. In reality,
wherever they went, he was in their game he created was responsible for I’m 24, have a full-time job and a
pockets; whoever they were with and more than 130 suicides. Budeikin’s tightknit group of family and friends.
whatever they were doing, he was an case brought to light the myriad But I become a fragile 17-year-old
inescapable factor in their lives. Over others that go on every day. girl with a turbulent family life,
the course of 50 days, he controlled A quick Google search will tell you an embittered relationship with
and manipulated each of them into that being encouraged to kill yourself my mother, no friends and an
performing a number of tasks by a faceless manipulator online obsessive nature. I am resentful of
involving everything from humiliation is not rare. Anecdotally, we know others for not sharing my loneliness,
to self-harm and, eventually, in order Budeikin was not the only predator and I am average-looking, with a
to ‘win the game’, they had to kill of that type. But just how widespread less-than-impressive academic record.
themselves. He received a three-year is the problem? Weeks later, I set I am entirely ordinary, yet wholly
sentence. The girl at the centre of his up a fake profile to find out. isolated. I use an avatar of a cartoon
trial had lived, and could testify as I create the profile with ease, years crying girl as my display picture,
to his involvement, but Budeikin has of watching Catfish: The TV Show and write in my bio that I am looking
claimed to be behind the deaths of have taught me what to do: it’s all for a safe space to talk about being

82 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 READ

family lives, and comments about

their ordinary jobs. They ask me
everything from ‘Why are you
unhappy?’ to ‘Have you ever cut?’
The messages keep rolling in. One
man asks about self-harm: was it
something I did? How often? And
when was the last time? Before telling
me, ‘If you were really brave, you’d
make sure you didn’t survive.’ A
‘19’-year-old boy is keen to tell me
how to cut myself in a way that
would prevent my family from
noticing, but, ‘You should never cut
anywhere that might destroy your
beauty.’ Over the course of the next
two weeks, the messages not only
increase, but become more and more
gruesome. Multiple people across
several platforms message me every
day. It was relentless and inescapable:
if I do not respond to them
immediately, I’m inundated with a
deluge of fraught messages asking why
I’m ignoring them. Am I angry with
them? Do I not want to be friends?
More distressing than the volume
and frequency of contact is the
content. Each person would fixate
on a particular aspect of my suicide,
from the one who harangued me
to use a certain method because ‘we’
Text messages wouldn’t want it to be ‘too messy or
exchanged by
ineffective’, and then sent me links
Danny and Matthew
to products and shops where I could
buy the required tools, to the person
who emailed me regular suggestions
depressed away from getting myself noticed. on my suicide note. Another sent
the prying eyes of the I begin to join groups, me information on how to illegally
mother I hate so much. follow threads, request acquire a particular sedative that
I set up profiles on several “Don’t cut access to blogs and sign is lethal in large doses. I had emails
social-media and blogging
sites with subtle links
anywhere up to message boards.
Then I post, comment
about suicide pacts from men almost
three times my age, and one person
connecting them to create that’d ruin and repost frantically, sent me a video with instructions
a picture of a genuine
identity. Slowly, this
your beauty” ensuring I always leave
a breadcrumb trail of
demonstrating how to tie a noose
and test tree branches to ensure
persona becomes part loneliness and isolation, they could hold my weight. I felt
of my reality. In Budeikin’s concerned that it would claustrophobic. I was not permitted
testimony, he described how take a lot to stand out from the crowd. to take a break, ignore their messages
he would attract children with Within 10 minutes I am inundated. or change my mind. They would
“depressive content” before singling I have messages and friend requests be back to check on my progress.
out those he thought were vulnerable. from all over the world, mainly from And then, one Tuesday, when the
With this in mind, I embark on men, and all with pictures of idyllic chatter is at its loudest and the torrent i

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 83
of demands at its most tormenting,
one voice cut through the noise: ‘Do
you want to play?’ He tells me he’s
an administrator for ‘Blue Whale’, the
game Budeikin claimed to have set
up and was imprisoned for. He tells
me that he can guide me through it,
that he will set me challenges and if
I put my trust in him, we can get me
to my suicide together. The way he
writes is gentle, his manner so much
less aggressive than the others who
have harassed me in recent weeks.
His display picture is a teddy bear.
‘There are a lot of tasks. Including
hurting yourself. Obeying me. Nudity.
Et cetera. You must be ready to do
all I say,’ he says. He explains that
I would have to do a task a day and
that I was his ‘whale’ now. He even
had a method picked out for me
because he liked ‘a clean death’.
This was all to be ‘our secret’.
The first task required me to carve
writing into my arm using either
a knife or a pen, then send him
pictures. The next day, he told me to
write the word ‘whale’ over my entire
body, a method which is typically
used on young girls to make them
feel overweight and self-conscious
(a different tactic apparently used
on boys is to
make them
feel unpopular
instead, by
“There are a calling them
lot of tasks. ‘losers’). Again,

You must he asks me to

send photos.
do all I say” Next, he asks
that I send him
a video of my
face as I say,
“I am your whale.” This would be Over the next week, he bombards simply says ‘fine’, or ‘OK’, and moves
the first time he’d see my face. I lock me with messages, darting between on to the next. He tells me he is
myself in the toilets at work and inappropriate, twisted praise about mentoring another girl and I feel
mumble the words into my phone my appearance and suicidal oddly jealous and competitive. Slowly,
camera. My stomach drops and my encouragement. We speak all day, every he drip-feeds me information about
mouth goes dry as I watch the blue day. I am supposed to be completing himself. He tells me he is 33 years old
send-bar spread across the top of a new task each evening, but I am and works in an office. He said he was
the screen. He would now have stalling, taking two weeks to do three lonely, just like me, that he had loved
that video forever. I feel owned. tasks. Every time I complete one he someone who didn’t love him back

84 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 READ

and he had suffered because seems awkward and a little distracted. wholly believing that I would be able
of her. ‘You are similar to I tell him I am struggling and afraid of to differentiate between lies and truth,
me,’ he says. ‘I like you.’ But some of the tasks. He repeats lines of that the man who stole my attention
I realise that I can’t trust reassurance, but he is cold as he speaks, would only get to me in the ways that
anything he tells me, from appearing to spit out the phrases, I would let him. I couldn’t have been
the story of the girl who as though he has learned them by more wrong. I’m still realising the ways
had already killed herself rote. His eyes rove around the room in which he got under my skin. There
through Blue Whale under behind his phone. Why does he care are so many lies I didn’t notice and
his instruction, to the fact about me? I ask. “I am a endless tactics that worked
that he sleeps with a teddy naturally caring person,” on me without me knowing.
bear. Another of our secrets. he replies. It is only when However, I’d still struggle to
Some weeks later, I ask we speak about the tasks say I dislike him. And that’s
to video-chat, and, to my that he seems focused and “He tells how I know this has to end.
surprise, he agrees. And so,
hidden away in the first-aid
comfortable. As has become
a theme, he is punitive:
me to start Over the next few weeks,
I start to feel more separated
room in my office building, saying that as I have not finding tall from him. I stop checking
with my heart thumping done enough tasks in the buildings…” the accounts, wondering

HAIR AND MAKE-UP JOLANDA COETZER AT LHA REPRESENTS, USING URBAN DECAY AND PAUL MITCHELL. SET DESIGN NICOLE HOLCROFT-EMMESS. POSED BY MODEL NIKKI FIDDES.
and an oversized grey past two weeks, I must do what he’s doing, and

*NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED. MADISON OFFICE DESK AVAILABLE IN BLACK AND WHITE, £547; STRAIGHT BACK GLOSS HOME OFFICE CHAIR IN WHITE, £99, BOTH DWELL.CO.UK
hoodie pulled halfway several in one day, “to make eventually forget the sound
down my head in my best up for lost time”. He asks of his voice. And then he
attempt to look teenage, me to do everything from shaving my comes back into my life. He texts
I hit ‘call’. There is a flash whole body to be smooth “like the a phone I’d used to video-chat with
of a bearded face, then the whale”, and sending him a video of it, him, which he believes belongs to
picture goes black, like to holding my head under my bath my mother. He asks where I am,
someone has turned the water until I cannot hold it any longer, saying that we were friends and I had
lights off. I wave, say hello, and even to start finding tall buildings, confided in him. Acting as my mum,
and do my best to look or railway tracks that I could throw a colleague tells him that I’ve tried
confused at the ‘technical myself onto. He says this as casually to hurt myself and am in hospital.
fault’, pretending I don’t as if he were reading out a to-do list. There’s a pause; he’s online but saying
know he is there, hiding, At this point, I decide not to take nothing. I wait in silence, aware of the
staring at me in the dark. it any further. I need a break, and shallowness of my breath in my chest,
A few seconds later, the I’m concerned how little I want to and the impatient ticking of the clock
face reappears, the mic take one. I wake up the following next to me. Surely now he will be
he told me had broken day, ready to carry on with my life remorseful? Or at the very least, say
is miraculously fixed and as normal. But as soon as I sit down nothing and disappear into the
I am greeted by bright white at my desk, I check to see if he has quiet of his shame at the pain he has
teeth, a warm smile, and messaged, relieved that he has. I don’t caused. His response? ‘She had been
those kind eyes. I finally see reply, but almost every day for weeks, having bad thoughts, I had been
him: Matthew.* “It is really I check to make sure he is still there. trying to help her get better.’ ◆
nice to see you,” he says. I go out with friends and have dinner SANE aims to improve the quality of life for
His voice is deep and silky with my boyfriend, acutely aware that anyone affected by mental illness. Call 0300
and he speaks with a rich something is missing. I decide not 304 7000 or visit Sane.org.uk. Cosmopolitan
French accent which, to speak about him for a day, and has reported this issue to the Metropolitan Police
despite myself, I find I notice I have much less to say. He is
attractive. It was the face of a normal on my mind much more than I am BEHIND THE SCENES
guy, the kind of person I would have comfortable with. Something has
passed in the street, sat next to on the happened that I did not intend. Daniella Scott
bus or held the door for in a shop I grew up on the internet, as many “Early on, one of the tasks
and never thought twice about. There of my generation did. As a teenager, Matthew asked me to do was carve writing
was nothing about him that would my parents worried about how into my arm. The picture I sent him was
actually of some very convincing stage
mark him out from the crowd. We dangerous it was, but I maintained
make-up using fake blood on a colleague’s
speak for what feels like an hour, but that I could work out what was safe arm. It was scarily realistic.”
turned out to be only 10 minutes. He and what wasn’t. I came into this

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 85
Canthiswoman’s
style make her
 READ

Every season, the

sartorially minded
masses descend on
London Fashion
Week. But what
does it take to get
‘papped’ like the
style elite? AMY
GRIER went to great
lengths to find out i
BY
OWN
 couple to my right are pretending
they have just met. I have been
watching them stage this ‘Oh hi!’
kiss for around seven minutes. He
wears black chaps, cowboy boots,
a fringed jacket and what must be
the world’s hottest trousers (black
leather, as narrow as a garden
hosepipe). She is resplendent in
a fascinator, a sparkly rainbow-
hued twinset and a pleated skirt
that catches the light with
every gesture of faux surprise.
Each time they embrace, flashbulbs go off, as nine or so
paparazzi capture this moment of disingenuous emotion
that will later, when the pictures appear on blogs and news
sites, no doubt look like a candid capturing of two old friends.

I am at London Fashion Week (LFW fashion editors in cashmere camel

to those in the business) – the coats stalking the Corso Como. They
cavalcade of shows and parties that wanted dazzle, flamboyance and
descend on the capital twice a year. pictures that would go viral. And
The multi-day event sees journalists, fashion bloggers were the people
models, photographers and a lot of to give it to them. You will have
B-list celebrities running between its seen these people plastered across
three main central-London locations. Instagram: they have identical poses,
Once upon a time, all the action wear hats shaped like lobster cages,
at LFW (and its sister locations, New and appear to have no other job My plan started three weeks earlier.
York, Paris and Milan) happened inside. than to stand outside shows wearing Rumour has it, some bloggers spend

BECKSONDERGAARD. LOOK TWO: COAT, AMO COUTURE. TRACKSUIT, VINTAGE KAPPA FROM BEYOND
Nameless fashion insiders would turn said hats in the name of Fash.On. up to six months planning their looks,
up, dressed almost exclusively in head- It is this side of the fashion industry often changing five times a day. To do

LOOK ONE: COAT, MANGO. JACKET, INTHESTYLE.COM. T-SHIRT, ESSENTIEL ANTWERP. SOCKS,
to-toe black, before slinking into the I have never quite understood. As a the same, I enlist the help of a stylist

RETRO. EARRINGS, PRIMARK. BAG, ESSENTIEL ANTWERP. BOOTS, PRETTYLITTLETHING

show with their notepads and pens. bookish 32-year-old with a mortgage, to try and channel the season’s key
But not any more. Because around a crumpet addiction and a growing trends. I also look to some of street
2007, something happened. And that collection of M&S footwear (don’t style’s major players for inspiration
something was ‘street style’. Its leading knock it till you’ve tried it), I could – from fashion director Sarah Harris
proponent was a small, serious father- never comprehend why someone to street-style icon Pandemonia, a
of-one, Scott Schuman (AKA The wearing a cape made of curtain tassels 7ft-tall walking/talking latex doll.
Sartorialist), who chose to photograph deserved a bank of fawning As all the fashion shows
the outfits worn outside the shows paparazzi. To the untrained require a ticket and I, alas,
rather than those on the catwalks. eye, the dizzying and ever- do not have any, my plan is
His images made fashion a democracy
– anyone could be famous for having
more extreme street-style
images on my Insta feed
“‘Is she a to loiter outside the main
show spaces. Some street-
good taste and a keen eye. His subjects kinda look like anyone blogger?’ style photographers tell me
were fashion editors, models and the
occasional immaculately put-together
could create them. Which
is how I find myself on the
I hear one that half the people they
photograph never go in,
mere mortal. But by 2013 things had first day of LFW, in a yellow person say” and that most hire their
changed. A growing troop of street fur coat, fishnets, satin own photographers, too.
photographers wanted more than dress and builder’s hat. To this end, I find a seasoned

88 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 Bringing your own
prop bus is costly READ
but effective

“Is she a blogger?” I overhear one

LOOK ONE of them say.
My first look is the Dozens more photographers cluster
‘control test’. It’s how around me. Two tourists ask for
I would dress if selfies. I go through my rotation
I was styled by a of poses: looking up, looking down,
professional every day. draping my jacket over one shoulder,
I’m in denim, flats, a bit fiddling with my bag, talking on
of sharp tailoring, and the phone. Dying inside… As the
holld an oversized clutch initial flurry of attention calms down,
bag under my right arm. I walk my own photographer taps me on
purposefully towards the braying the shoulder.“Excuse me, is it OK
pack of photographers. As I step if I take your picture?” she says. We
off the kerb and into the road, the pretend that we are strangers and
first snap happens. Emboldened, it works. A few more photographers
I slow down, pretending to be on follow her lead and then disappear,
my phone as I’ve rehearsed, to allow as a blogger wearing a jewelled
them to get those all-important mini-dress with what looks like
movement shots.“Hi, are you there? an iron-on rainbow swimming
I’m here,” I say repeatedly into the badge on the front emerges from
receiver, speaking to no one. a LFW-branded Jeep.
“Oi! Can I take your picture?”
yells one man. I stop, and turn
to one side, then the other, before LOOK THREE
looking coyly down at my bag. Keen to capitalise on
A few others follow his lead before my newfound success,
the snappers suddenly start to I change location, to
disperse. I see why. They have turned, the Fashion Scout space
like a swarm of bees, to a woman up the road. Here, the
wearing a black cape and one red crowds are smaller but
embroidered elbow-length glove. more serious, wackier
Fashion Week photographer on She poses with her arm in the air yet somehow more
CONNECTION. BAG AND SOCKS, BECKSONDERGAARD. SLIDERS, BOOHOO. OTHER CLOTHES, AMY’S OWN
LOOK THREE: COAT AND SUNGLASSES, PRETTYLITTLETHING. CATSUIT, BEYOND RETRO. BERET, FRENCH

Instagram and hire her to follow me as if about to pull an imaginary discerning. I change outfits again,
around. We will pretend not to know rabbit from the clouds. I skulk away. this time into a long dusky-pink
each other outside the shows, I tell her. puffa coat (channelling Moncler’s
However I expect her to start furiously designer quilting), a velvet leopard-
snapping whenever I walk past. LOOK TWO print long-sleeved catsuit, fluffy
After weeks of research, I realise My second look can only sliders, and a red beret. It is
the biggest street-style influencers be described as leisure- millennial Che Guevara meets
have five main poses I need to master. centre chic. A vintage Bet Lynch. I cross the road.
They are the ‘Abbey Road’ (walking shell suit, white stiletto Photographers turn, look me
astronaut-slow across a zebra crossing); booots and a plush faux-fur. up and down, and turn back.
the ‘Where Are My Keys?’ (looking my mum in 1985 and
If m Nothing. Street-style photographers
down and fumbling with your 50 CCent circa 2003 had prowl the line of people queuing
handbag); the ‘Baywatch’ (a slow- hadd a style baby, it would for the upcoming show. I join the
motion run that, when photographed, have llooked
h k d exactly like this. back and watch as they snap. The
looks like a very modish walk); the I retrace my steps from earlier, girl in front of me is wearing a white
‘Tap Dancer’ (static pose, one foot walking the catwalk-esque stretch judo-suit-cum-straitjacket outfit, with
turned out, head looking to the side, of pavement towards the main red-tinted sunglasses and a fluffy
body to the front); and the crucial LFW space on the Strand. The clutch bag. She is photographed
‘Someone’s Calling Me’ (pretending response is immediate. As I strut by everyone who walks past. Me?
to be on the phone to a VIFP – Very across a zebra crossing, a handful No one so much as bats a shutter.
Important Fashion Person). of paparazzi start snapping away. I need to step it up. i

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 89
READ

“I love your jacket,” she purrs. “The

LOOK FOUR colour really… pops.” Paparazzi circle LOOK SIX
After a quick change around us like reef sharks. “I love Undeterred, I have one
in a nearby café toilet, your dress,” I blurt. “Thanks, I made final trick up my sleeve.
I emerge in a satin slip it myself. Shall we have a photo?” Colour worked once
dress, fishnets, walking We turn and face our public. Now before, maybe it would
boots, logoed sweatshirt, I know why fashion people wear work again? I emerge
yellow faux-fur coat and sunglasses. One rebel photographer from a café toilet in a
hard hat from Toolstation. follows me as I walk away. “Can I get bubblegum-pink hippo
com. I am calling this you against this wall?” It’s an order, onesie. If Anna Dello
look ‘Big Bird Meets Bob The Builder’. rather than a question. “Are you Russo could rock a watermelon hat,
“Canary yellow is the shade this a blogger? What’s your name?” then I can take LFW dressed as George
season, and the colours “@Geeee,” I mutter. from ’80s children’s TV show Rainbow.
and printed sweatshirt aree Papped with “It’s spelled ‘at G, E’,” I step out. People snigger behind their
Pandemonia
very Rita Ora,” my stylist I say to him, feigning phones. Valiantly, I pose again. Crowds
assured me when I tried confidence and get out of my way, but for the wrong
this on, horrified, a few wishing I’d thought reasons. Admiration has curdled into
days before. And the hat? of something better. admonition. I am the LFW pariah.
There was a long pause… “How long have With the light fading, I head home
“It’s your talking point.” you been a blogger?” to the safety of my regular wardrobe

PRIMARK. BOOTS, BOOHOO. LOOK FIVE: COAT, ZARA. T-SHIRT, BOOHOO. LEGGINGS, PRETTYLITTLETHING. SHIRT (AROUND WAIST), MISSGUIDED. HAT, ESSENTIEL ANTWERP.
I head back to the “A year.” when I get a phone call. It is my

HAIR AND MAKE-UP MAXINE SMITH AT LHA REPRESENTS. LOOK FOUR: COAT, AMO COUTURE. JACKET, H&M. DRESS, VERO MODA. HAT, TOOLSTATION.COM. EARRINGS,
main show area, now a “What did you picture director.
throbbing hub of people do before?” “It worked! You’re all over the
spilling out into the road. Someone On his command, I put on my hat. agencies!” she says. I open my email to
wheeling a rail of clothes out of a “I was a workman. Obviously.” find my own face staring back at me

BAG, BECKSONDERGAARD. DOG, BIGFATBALLOONS.CO.UK. LOOK SIX: JUMPSUIT, SMIFFYS.COM. NECKLACE, BOOHOO. OTHER CLOTHES, AMY’S OWN
side door looks up at me and yells, He doesn’t laugh. – in the hard hat and yellow coat –
“FINALLY! Some colour!” with a from every main photo agency in the
theatrical eye roll. I walk the same country. I smile to myself. Then walk,
road as before, but this time I can’t LOOK FIVE astronaut-slow, over the zebra crossing
get across it. Photographers block I save my last two looks doing my best ‘Abbey Road’. ◆
my path, snapping constantly. I surge ffor the penultimate day
on, but am stopped again. A dozen oof LFW, a rainy Monday.
BEHIND THE SCENES
photographers surround me. “Put on IIf I’ve learned anything,
your hat!” they shout. I pull it down iit’s that if you really
to hide my giggles, and mortification. want attention, your outfit
w
Amy Grier
“As I was walking to the
“Show us the Pepsi logo! Show it to need ds a) texture, and b) station after two days of shooting,
us!” I ignore them. A true influencer propps. On go PVC leggings, someone behind me rustled a camera out
changes her styling for no one. biker boots, a clear plastic raincoat, of their bag. I listened to the click and flash,
taking in the Piccadilly Circus lights, and
I whip around, preparing to take and a cuddly toy dog. I was at once
the compulsion to stand, turn and pose
yet another fictional phone call, entirely waterproof, and yet distinctly was almost overwhelming. Maybe this
and bump into none other than flammable. A dribble of photographers street-style business is addictive after all.”
Pandemonia, who stares at me. turn to look as I walk. I get nothing.

The dos and don’ts of getting papped

DO Watch DON’T Wear DO Use DON’T
Baywatch your jacket landmarks Go empty-
That slow Are you mad? Lamp posts, handed
run they do? Jackets aren’t phone boxes Hands look
Ridiculous made to be and buses awkward
IRL, great for worn! Drape, add context. in shots,
walking shots shrug, dangle, Just mind the so carrying
on camera. place or belt. traffic, yeah? is a must.

90 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 COSMOPOLITAN PROMOTION

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 David Vitaljus Immy Robyn Amy Vincent John Bex

Ellie The It’s back,

Chris

Cosmopolitan
and Tinder’s
Max David
algorithmically
proven
Hot List...

Alison Emily

Rebecca MOST Pablo

RIGHT
Tom

SWIPED
How long does it take to make a first impression? Pop science tells us seven seconds, psychologists
say a tenth of a second. However, any seasoned single person knows that in the dog-eat-dog world of
Brian

Sandro digital dating, you have nanoseconds to catch the eye (and halt the thumb) of future suitors swiping Danny
left or right on your romantic fate. And no one knows that better than the elite class of daters whose
profiles are the country’s most right-swiped. Last year, Tinder hooked Cosmopolitan up with exclusive
access to the lives and profiles of the app’s 10 most-fancied UK users. Now, once again, we’ve got the
lowdown from their most successful daters – but we’re booting things up a notch. Meet Tinder’s top
30, as this year’s super-swipers lift the lid on the details of their overflowing inboxes i

Wo r d s K A T E P A S O L A Photog raphs A N T O N I O P E T R O N Z I O
Susan Jamie

Emily Sean John Callum Ciaran Charlotte Peter Lauren

READ
IMMY Best date you’ve had?

➤
We played Topgolf. I couldn’t
DAVID Ape, on a whim. It was different,

➤
18, SURREY, STUDENT do it, so we just had a laugh.
and sometimes one-to-one What’s your Tinder bio? What makes you swipe
26, BRADFORD, can be a bit intense. ‘Happy chap.’ right? If they’re good-
COMPLIANCE WORKER What makes you swipe Opening line? ‘Hola!’ Often looking!
What’s your Tinder bio? right? Nice hair, that’s they’ll be like, ‘Oh, are you What makes you swipe left?
My name and my location. always a bonus. Spanish?’ and I’m like, ‘No…’ A crude bio. Or if all their
Opening line? ‘Hello :)’ What makes you swipe left? It’s worked every time. photos are group ones.
It’s worked out so far. If they come across as
Best date you’ve had? At Go judgemental in their bio.

DAVID WEARS: JACKET AND JEANS, BOTH H&M. TOP, NEW LOOK. SHOES, RIVER ISLAND. VITALJUS WEARS: JACKET, ZARA. TOP, JEANS AND SHOES, VITALJUS’S OWN.
IMMY WEARS: TOP, LEVI’S. TROUSERS, PRETTYLITTLETHING. SHOES, TOPSHOP. ROBYN WEARS: JACKET, ZARA. TOP, MATALAN. BRALETTE, NEW LOOK. SHOES AND
JEANS, ROBYN'S OWN. AMY WEARS: DRESS, DIESEL. SHOES, MISS SELFRIDGE. VINCENT WEARS: TOP AND JEANS, BOTH ASOS.COM. SHOES, MAISON KITSUNE

VITALJUS I matched with someone

➤

who lives in Panama, but

33, LONDON, we didn’t manage to meet.
CABIN-CREW MANAGER We kept in touch and ended
What’s your Tinder bio? up going on a date in London
‘I like it simple and honest. six weeks later.
Chemistry is all that matters. What makes you swipe
Terms and conditions apply.’ right? A genuine look.
Opening line? What makes you swipe left?
‘How’ve you been?’ When all the pictures
Best date you’ve had? are selfies.
 The
ROBYN Best date you’ve had?

➤
At the cinema. It was
22, DUNDEE, just so comfortable
SALES ASSISTANT and normal.
What’s your Tinder bio? What makes you
‘Stunner x.’ It’s swipe right? A tan MOST
a Dundee thing.
Opening line? I always
and good teeth.
What makes you swipe
RIGHT
let them speak first left? When you can’t SWIPED
because I think it’s tell who they are in
more gentlemanly. a group picture.

VINCCENT
➤

23, BRISTOL, STUDENT

What’s your Tinder bio?
‘London Boy.’ [He grew
up there.]
Opening line? ‘Tell me
an interesting fact about
yourself.’
Best date you’ve had?
I’m not huge on the ‘let’s go
for a drink’ thing. My perfect

AMY ➤
24, LONDON, MARKETING
Opening line? I’m never
the first to talk… that’s
really bad!
date would be Laser Quest!
What makes you swipe right?
I quite like it when people
ASSISTANT Best date you’ve had? At a bar, have done cool stuff.
What’s your Tinder bio? and then on to a cocktail bar. Anything that’s not just
I don’t have one, but I’ve What makes you swipe right? five selfies.
set my Spotify anthem Tall rugby players! What makes you swipe left?
[on Tinder] to Hall & Oates’ What makes you swipe left? Snapchat filters. That’s
You Make My Dreams. Something weird in their bio! off-putting. i
95
 The
CHRIS ➤ Best date you’ve had?
Probably when I was
25, LONDON, CORPORATE in Sydney using Tinder
INVESTIGATOR internationally to meet new
What’s your Tinder bio? people. I went to a bar with
MOST ‘Love the outdoors and my date, and then we met
RIGHT dogs. Value laughter, up a couple more times to

JOHN WEARS: JACKET, PE NATION. TOP, NEW LOOK. JEANS, H&M. SHOES, JOHN’S OWN. BEX WEARS: JACKET, DIESEL. TOP, NEW LOOK. TROUSERS AND SHOES, BOTH TOPSHOP.
CHRIS WEARS: JACKET, NEW LOOK. TOP AND SHOES, BOTH ADIDAS. JEANS, H&M. DAVID WEARS: JACKET, H&M. TOP, RIVER ISLAND. JEANS, NUDIE. SHOES, JONES BOOTMAKER.
a good Negroni and explore the city together.
SWIPED the simple things in life. What makes you swipe
Ideally looking for someone right? Good pictures
to build a fort with in the and taste in music.
living room of a Sunday. What makes you swipe
Let’s grab a drink?’ left? Obnoxious bios
Opening line? ‘Is there making demands like

EMILY WEARS: TOP AND TROUSERS, BOTH NEW LOOK. SHOES, DUNE. PABLO WEARS: JACKET, REISS. TOP, ZARA. JEANS, H&M. SHOES, HUDSON BLACK
a boyfriend I should be ‘If you’re not gym-fit,
concerned about?’ don’t swipe right’.

BEX
➤

20, LONDON, STUDENT

What’s your Tinder bio?
My Instagram, my height
and my university.
Opening line? A funny GIF.
Best date you’ve had?
The zoo. If you have

JOHN Bunkers del Carmel, these a laugh, it’s not so

➤

civil war ruins that have the pressurised.

31, LONDON, highest vantage point over What makes you swipe
OPERATIONS DIRECTOR Barcelona. The language right? Funny pictures.
What’s your Tinder bio? barrier was made easier by I have swiped right on
‘Loves dogs, seeing how picturesque it all was. people before simply
friends, travelling.’ What makes you swipe because I haven’t been
Opening line? If there’s right? When a profile seems able to stop laughing
something interesting like an honest reflection of at their profile. In a
in their pictures or bio, a person, not totally staged. good way, of course!
I’ll ask about that. What makes you swipe What makes you
Best date you’ve had? left? Snapchat filters. swipe left? People
I went with a Spanish girl to Instant swipe left. who seem arrogant.
 EMILY
➤ Best date you’ve had? READ
Talking for hours over the
21, YORK, RETAIL ASSISTANT dinner table in his kitchen
What’s your Tinder bio? with a takeaway.
What I studied at uni and What makes you swipe
my Instagram. right? A really good smile.
Opening line? I try to target What makes you swipe left?
something in their pictures, Too many selfies and
like an interest. body pictures.

PABLO my wine preferences described

➤

DAVID Best date you’ve had? When perfectly to the sommelier. I’d
➤

we ended up doing shots with 34, LONDON, have thought that behaviour on a
34, LONDON, REVENUE the barman in a tapas place! HEAD OF TRADING SERVICES date was tacky, but I was surprised
CONTROL TEAM LEADER It all got a bit crazy. What’s your Tinder bio? by the knowledge behind it.
What’s your Tinder bio? What makes you swipe right? It’s deliberately blank. What makes you swipe right?
‘Midlands boy, living in the Aesthetically, a great smile Opening line? ‘Where are you Someone who looks natural and
big smoke.’ and eyes. from?’ Everybody’s up for whose photos were taken by others.
Opening line? Just the What makes you swipe left? answering that. What makes you swipe left?
typical, ‘Hey, how are you?’ People in sunglasses. It’s like, Best date you’ve had? Being taken When pictures seem to
It tends to work. ‘Hello, I can’t see your eyes!’ to a good restaurant and having include their exes. i

97
READ
JA M I E ➤ the date came to an end,

JAMIE WEARS: DRESS, H&M X BALMAIN. SHOES, JAMIE’S OWN. LAUREN WEARS: JACKET AND JEANS, BOTH JOE’S JEANS. TOP AND SHOES, BOTH TOPSHOP. JEWELLERY,
he asked me what other
29, LONDON,

BRIAN WEARS: JACKET, H&M. TOP AND SHOES, BOTH ZARA. JEANS, RIVER ISLAND. DANNY WEARS: JACKET, REISS. TOP, NEW LOOK. JEANS, ZARA. SHOES, TOPMAN.
skills I was hiding. I told him
PRODUCTION MANAGER that I could sing, so he called

LAUREN’S OWN. PETER WEARS: JACKET, LEVI’S. TOP, WAVEN. JEANS, TOPMAN. SHOES, TIMBERLAND. CHARLOTTE WEARS: DRESS, ASOS.COM. SHOES, OFFICE
What’s your Tinder bio? his friends and we went to
‘Tolerant of your beliefs, a karaoke bar until 4am.
judgemental of your shoes.’ What makes you swipe
Opening line? They always right? Their eyes and
talk to me first. their smile.
Best date you’ve had? What makes you swipe left?
The one where just before Square-toed shoes.

BRIAN Opening line? I usually chat

DA N N Y Best date you’ve had?
➤
➤

about something in their bio. Watching Sunset Boulevard.

28, TIPPERARY, IRISH DANCER Best date you’ve had? 23, NOTTINGHAM, STUDENT We had orchestra seats and
What’s your Tinder bio? A second date. We walked What’s your Tinder bio? it was amazing because
‘Southern-Irish guy. Dancer in on Brighton pier at sunset. ‘Down-to-earth guy looking I’d never done anything
Riverdance and have travelled the I was due to fly out that night, for mates and dates. Love like that before.
world touring. Now teach kids. but changed it last-minute. to travel and any excuse to What makes you swipe right?
Primary-school teaching degree What makes you swipe right? see the world and explore Career-minded people. I’m
with German. Model. Love all Someone who’s physically active. new places.’ a sucker for a suit.
sports; athletics, football, tennis. What makes you swipe left? Opening line? ‘Hey, how’s you?’ What makes you swipe left?
Animal lover – especially dogs!’ Cockiness. Straight to the point. Snapchat filters or no bio.
 The
PETER
24, MANCHESTER,
➤ Opening line? I personalise
it each time.
Best date you’ve had? We
POSTGRADUATE STUDENT went into Primark with 10
What’s your Tinder bio? minutes and £15 to buy each
‘Irish citizen with a British other an outfit, and did a MOST
accent. If you need an EU
passport without arousing
mini-golf course dressed up.
What makes you swipe
RIGHT
the suspicions of your Brexit right? If they seem to have SWIPED
family, I’m your man. Dog a life outside of social media.
ownership a plus. References What makes you swipe left?
available upon request.’ Exclusively group photos.

CHARLOTTE
21, LONDON, PR
ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE
What’s your Tinder
bio? ‘I’m a shortie.
I hate people who
step on escalators
slowly. I love the sea.’
Opening line?
‘But do you have
a puppy?’
Best date you’ve had?
We went to a racing

L AU R E N track. It was so cool.

➤

Best date you’ve had? I really love You can’t not have fun.
32, LONDON, SOCIAL MEDIA dinosaurs – Jurassic Park is one of What makes you swipe
CONSULTANT my favourite films – so he took me right? Somebody
What’s your Tinder bio? to the Natural History Museum. who looks like they
‘5’2. Born and raised Londoner. What makes you swipe right? have a fun life.
You’ll do.’ Dark hair, light eyes, a bit of What makes you swipe
Opening line? ‘Now, then…’ stubble and a cheeky smile. left? Generic selfies,
or ‘You’ll do.’ If they respond, What makes you swipe left? topless photos, overly
I’ll ask about their favourite crisps. Pouty and posy selfies. white teeth. i

99
 The
CA L LU M
➤ Best date you’ve had?
We went to a gin-tasting.
23, MANCHESTER, Pretending to notice the
STUDENT subtle differences was fun.
What’s your Tinder bio? What makes you swipe
MOST ‘Student and Shirley-from- right? Nice eyes, nice skin
RIGHT EastEnders stunt double.’ and a funny bio.
Opening line? I normally What makes you swipe
SWIPED don’t start conversations left? People who have
because of my crippling pictures with drugged-up
fear of rejection. animals from their travels.

CIARAN WEARS: TOP, UNIQLO. JEANS, CHEAP MONDAY. SHOES, MAISON KITSUNE. CALLUM WEARS: JACKET AND TOP, BOTH DIESEL. JEANS, H&M. SHOES, DUNE. JOHN WEARS: TOP, GYMPLEX. JEANS, TOPMAN. SHOES, LACOSTE.
SEAN WEARS: DRESS, ASOS.COM. SHOES, HIDDEN FASHION. EMILY WEARS: JUMPSUIT, PRETTYLITTLETHING. SHOES, SCHUH. SUSAN WEARS: JACKET, NEW LOOK. TOP, ASOS.COM. SKIRT, MONKI. SHOES, HIDDEN FASHION
JOHN
➤

28, LONDON,
BUSINESS
CONSULTANT
What’s your Tinder
bio? ‘Live and
work in London.’
Opening line?
I tend to wait
for people to
message me.
Best date you’ve
had? A really
thoughtful date in a
place called Corby.
What makes
you swipe right?
To be honest,
it’s mostly about
CIARAN Best date you’ve had?
➤

the photos.
Mini-golf. We sacked the What makes you
24, LONDON, BRAND game off halfway round swipe left? Body
PARTNERSHIP MANAGER the course because we were shots and selfies.
What’s your Tinder bio? ‘Ideally, just getting on so well.
I’m looking for dark hair, a red What makes you swipe right?
jumper and quite a large face.’ Images of dogs go down a treat.
It’s a quote from Nighty Night. What makes you swipe left?
Opening line? I don’t often open Overly posed photos – they’re
the conversation. a bit of a mood-killer.
 READ
EMILY Vegas with a friend and made it

➤
clear to my date beforehand that
22, LEEDS, STUDENT my friend and I wouldn’t separate.
What’s your Tinder bio? My old I assumed he’d bring someone,
job title and ‘University of Leeds’. but he turned up alone. The three
Opening line? ‘I find you of us learned to play blackjack!
a-peel-ing’, with banana emojis. What makes you swipe right?
It usually goes down well. Someone smiley who looks fun.
Best date you’ve had? It was kind What makes you swipe left?
of the best and worst: I was in Sunglasses in every photo.

SUSAN
23, LONDON,
➤
ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE
What’s your Tinder bio?
‘Need someone to share
pasta with, eating it
on your own can get
cannelloni sometimes.’
Opening line? ‘Would
you rather have your
commute narrated by
David Attenborough or
your internal monologue
by Morgan Freeman?’
Best date you’ve had?
SEAN on to become one of
➤

my good friends. It was With a boy I met on

18, BIRMINGHAM, really romantic and holiday. We went for
COLLEGE STUDENT ended with that princess dinner on a sunny rooftop,
What’s your Tinder bio? moment where you kick followed by a late-night
‘I am label-free, gender up the heel of the foot trip to the beach.
non-conforming, and and kiss the guy. What makes you swipe
a “one-of-a-kind What makes you swipe right? Someone who’s
collectible”,’ a quote right? Interesting tall, dark and handsome –
from American drag pictures and but also smiling.
queen Violet Chachki. beautiful faces. What makes you swipe
Opening line? ‘Kakaw, What makes you swipe left? Topless bed selfies
kakaw, I’m an eagle!’ left? Someone who and Thailand tiger
Best date you’ve had? looks the part yet gap-year pictures. i
With a boy who went only exudes beige.

101
 The
R E B EC CA Best date you’ve had? It’s also

➤
my worst. We had oysters at the
21, EXETER, beach. We both felt so ill, and
HOSPITAL DISPATCHER my bus wasn’t for two hours.
What’s your Tinder bio? ‘Not as What makes you swipe right?
MOST grumpy IRL as I look in photos.’
Opening line? A sassy GIF of
Rebellious-looking people.
What makes you swipe left?
RIGHT Beyoncé or Honey Boo Boo. Photos of the back of their head!
SWIPED

SANDRO WEARS: TOP, RIVER ISLAND. JEANS, H&M. SHOES, MAISON KITSUNE. TOM WEARS: JACKET, ALL SAINTS. TOP, AMAZON FASHION. JEANS, ZARA. SHOES, AXEL ARIGATO. REBECCA
WEARS: JACKET AND TROUSERS, BOTH VERY.CO.UK. TOP, FRENCH CONNECTION. SHOES, PUBLIC DESIRE. ALISON WEARS: TOP, PULL & BEAR. SHORTS, ZARA. HAT, URBAN OUTFITTERS.
SHOES, TOPSHOP. MAX WEARS: JACKET, RIVER ISLAND. TOP, LEVI’S. JEANS, MANGO. SHOES, LACOSTE. ELLIE WEARS: TOP AND TROUSERS, BOTH KENDALL AND KYLIE. SHOES, REISS
SANDRO
➤

34, LONDON, RECRUITER

What’s your Tinder bio?
‘I’m leaving this blank
intentionally, so you
can judge me entirely
on my looks.’
Opening line?
A Joey Tribbiani GIF.
Best date you’ve had?
The one that ended up
in me getting my boyfriend.
He loves coffee as much
as I do, and after brunch
we ended up going for
Best date you’ve had?
about six rounds of it.
TO M
➤

We stayed in that coffee I met up with a match in Bali.

shop for about three or 23, LONDON, We spent two days going to
four hours. BRAND MANAGER/SEMI- dinner and the beach; it was like
What makes you swipe PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALLER a romantic getaway with a total
right? A pretty face, What’s your Tinder bio? stranger. Short, but very sweet.
blue eyes and a nice smile. Just my Instagram. What makes you swipe right?
What makes you swipe Opening line? The love-heart- Someone genuine.
left? Group photos and eyes emoji. It works more than What makes you swipe left?
torso pictures. 50% of the time. Fakeness.

102
 READ
ALISON Best date you’ve had?

➤
The zoo. You don’t have
20, MANCHESTER, STUDENT to worry about finding
ELLIE

➤
What’s your Tinder bio? something to say.
‘Why do Norwegian ships What makes you swipe 22, LONDON, STUDENT
have barcodes on the side?’ right? Someone who What’s your Tinder bio?
To Scan-da-navy-in.’ looks pretty relaxed and ‘I’d try and woo you with
Opening line? A GIF of a is dressed smartly. herb and fish jokes, but
woman waving frantically. What makes you swipe I don’t know if this is the
People reply 90% of the time. left? Men in white jeans. thyme or the plaice.’
Opening line? ‘I hope
you like my chat-up
line’, then I send a
line emoji.
Best date you’ve had?
At some hidden
waterfalls in Greece.
It was a cool adventure.
What makes you swipe
right? A funny bio.
What makes you swipe
left? Topless selfies. ◆
SENIOR FASHION EDITOR SAIREY STEMP. FASHION ASSISTANT SHANNON HYLTON. HAIR AND MAKE-UP CHARLOTTE GASKILL, USING NARS
AND REN; HANNAN PARKIN, USING BOBBI BROWN AND SACHAJUAN HAIR; DAVID LAWRENCE, USING MAC COSMETICS AND PAUL
MITCHELL; CHEZELLE BEAUTY, USING NARS AND WELLA HAIR; JENNI DAVID, USING MAC AND PAUL MITCHELL; CAMILLA
AKEHURST, USING NARS AND PAUL MITCHELL, ALL AT LHA REPRESENTS. *TERMS AND CONDITIONS APPLY

COSMOPOLITAN &
WANT TO PARTY
WITH THE HOT LIST?
Well, we’re offering a lucky few the chance
to do just that. Bag your free ticket to
the rooftop party of the summer, bring a
plus-one of your choice, and have a cocktail
with the 30 most right-swiped. All you
have to do is download or open Tinder.
MAX Best date you’ve had?
➤

White-water rafting at the Then, on 22nd April (for one day only),
26, SURREY, PROJECT MANAGER Olympic Stadium as a surprise. swipe until you come across a branded
What’s your Tinder bio? ‘Came in It was a really cool date. Cosmopolitan card. Swipe right on the
a black Benz, left in a white one.’ What makes you swipe right? card to enter, and fill in the short form.
Opening line? I try and take If they look wholesome. Yep, it really is that simple. See you there!*
something from their profile and ask What makes you swipe left? THE DETAILS
a question based on that. I think it Anyone who just seems too Entries open on: 22nd April
works – I don’t get ghosted too often. into themselves. Party: Evening of 9th May
Venue: A rooftop location in London (all will
be revealed once the form is complete…)
 BEFORE

Would you*
pay £2,000 for
104
perfect hair?
 READ

AFTER

Josie Copson spent

a lifetime faking it
(badly) in her quest for
longer locks. Here, she
recounts her road to
extension nirvana i
 very cheap glue. Armed with this
remember the day I got my knowledge, I found a hair-extension
hair cut the way most people stockist on Brierley Hill high street
and got myself a bag of hair and
remember the day their family a bottle of black hair glue. I then
pet died. I was 13. Days earlier, returned to my hairdresser with
my two bags and asked them to get
my older sister Abbi had said, to work. Two hours later, I emerged
“You know, you’ve got the looking like Katie Price. Who cares
that my entire head smelt of mackerel
perfect face shape for a bob,” (that glue is potent stuff)? Or that
the jet-black extensions looked like
while absent-mindedly they had been liberated from Alice
flicking through a copy Cooper? I had long, swishy hair
again. I felt like me.
of Heat magazine. Sibling
coercion is a powerful thing.
THE HOPEFUL
YEARS CLIP-INS
AGED 16-18 The thing is, there’s
I mulled it over for all of two only so long a girl can
put up with her entire
minutes, then insisted my mum booked me head smelling like
in for a cut and blow-dry at the hairdressers a fish supper. And
besides, my real hair
above our local gym. The minute she left, was matting at the
I instructed the hairdresser to cut the lot off. roots, the glue was
dripping out and I’d spend my life
To understand what followed, you It wasn’t an easy time. The boys finding little tails of hair all over
need to know what came before. at school called me ‘Mushroom’. the place. Often I couldn’t afford
I had lovely hair. It was long, shiny My boyfriend dumped me. At to go back to the salon to get them
as a horse chestnut and reached that the exact moment girls in my class reapplied (you try and afford
teeny little nook in the small of my were emerging from their adolescent hair-extension upkeep when you’re
back. My long hair was a part of my chrysalises as beautiful, elegant earning £10 a week teaching primary-
identity but, of course, I didn’t realise butterflies, I was Ann Widdecombe. school children maths, and £5 for
this until it was gone. Two years and about one inch of doing the entire family’s ironing),
Ten minutes later, there it was hair growth later, despite trying every so I would glue them back in myself.
– chocolate tendrils scattered across supplement, treatment and piece The results included, though were
the floor of the hairdresser’s white- of advice available to womankind, not limited to: black hair glue over
tiled floor like shrapnel. I now had I had no choice but to fake it. my entire wardrobe, thick globules
a bob. But this was no Victoria- of hastily applied glue all over my
Beckham bob. It wasn’t even
THE EARLY
YEARS
(VERY CHEAP) hair, and one carpet stain in my
a vaguely hipsterish Velma from AGED 15-16 GLUE-INS sister’s bedroom that we still do not
Scooby-Doo bob. This was a bob My mum has Afro talk about. Thankfully salvation came
of epic proportions, a bob that hair, so that means from the most unlikely of places:
floated around my head like giant I spent many, TOWIE. I’d heard Lauren Pope (her
cumulonimbus clouds. many hours of of the lustrous hair and Lilo lips)
I waited eagerly for my mum in my childhood in was flogging hair extensions that you
the gym reception, hopeful of some Caribbean hair salons. could attach temporarily with clips.
reassurance. It never came. She looked One of the few They seemed the perfect solution
at me and said,“Cute,” which sounded benefits of this (besides the fact that – until I applied them. They were
far more like a question than a I got a magazine and a Morrisons heavier than your average extension
statement. My hair never grew back. hot-counter chicken drumstick) – so heavy, in fact, that my poor
I was now saddled with braces, was that I learned what you could natural hair struggled with the
acne and a malfunctioning bob. achieve with some fake hair and weight and would break off in fine

106 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 READ

Josie in hair
heaven and,
left, less so

little wisps. There was also the opening it, so you can imagine what – seriously, just running my hands
comedic sight of me having to hang my scalp had to go through as she put through my hair would result in
my hair over my laundry basket every the extension inside a bead in my real a mass exodus of extensions. I could
evening, bringing to mind the Dolly hair, then used dad’s pliers to secure be mid-conversation with someone
Parton quote: “Home is anywhere it. A year later, I had two bald patches. and the next minute I would be
I hang my hair.” Still, my clip-ins took talking with a fistful of my own hair
me all the way to university where
THE WISER
YEARS TAPE-INS in my hand (is that called a ‘power
I became adept at removing them AGED 22-24 Imagine Sellotape, move’?). In the end, I took to keeping
mid-marathon-make-out sessions. but for your hair. That an envelope in my handbag where
is tape-ins. Literally. I could safely store any errant
THE BROKEN
YEARS MICROBEADS The first time I went extensions to be reused on my next
AGED 19-21 Oh, these sounded to get them done, the salon visit. At one point I had more
so good! At least, hairdresser grabbed hair in my handbag than I did on
according to their a piece of what little my head. Something had to change.
website. Teeny plastic hair she could find,
beads that required put a piece of tape below it and
THE WISEST
YEARS MICRO RINGS
no heat, no glue, a piece of tape above it and then PRESENT I’ll admit. I was
and which attached patted it down like two pieces of dubious. For a start,
delicate strands Warburtons bread over a slice of ham. micro rings sound
of extensions to my own rapidly The tapes were longer and lighter like some odd
diminishing head of hair. My mum than the beads, which meant less variation on the
insisted on doing it by following pressure on my real hair. In truth, vibrating cock ring.
a YouTube tutorial in a bid to cut the ‘tape years’ were pretty good to But I was told on
costs (at £200 per application, you can me and my hair. My own remaining good authority that
see why). She is a woman so heavy- tendrils certainly preferred them. The these are the gold standard of hair
handed that she once broke the door only issue was they tended to fall out extensions. I headed to Vixen &
off our washing machine simply by the closer I got to maintenance day Blush, a salon in London where i

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 107
READ

the staff are all specially trained in

hair extensions, rather than being
hairdressers with an extension side
hustle (or my mum and a pair of
pliers from dad’s toolkit). Micro
rings are basically little copper tubes
that flatten when they’re applied
so you can barely see anything –
although you do have to wave
goodbye to the high pony. They’re
less weighty than beads, too, so
theoretically cause less damage
to your hair. What intrigues me the
most, however, is that a) they’re
made from ‘virgin Russian hair’
– I didn’t ask, but I presume that
means pure, ethically sourced
human hair rather than hair plucked
from a poor Muscovite with her
hymen still intact. And b) you
should only wash them using
a downward motion, which will
make shampoo time fun.
It took all of three hours to put
the extensions in, but I did feel like
I’d stepped out of an ’80s L’Oréal
ad when they were done. I had
properly big, bouncy, swish-it-all-
about hair for the first time in my
life. So great did I feel that I went
straight from the salon to a hot date.
I have genuinely never felt more She liked it
so she put
confident meeting a guy. I thought a ring on it
nothing could go wrong with that
hair. I was wrong. The date was a
disaster. Still, I did have good hair
while I was enduring it.
Three months into my micro rings
and there have been no breakages,
Damage AFTERCARE KIT
HairBurst Mulberry
Silk Pillowcase, £34.99
no rogue tendrils scattered on the
pillow in the morning, and no bald
patches. As for me? I’m making up
for all those lost teenage years by
limitation
“When it comes to bonds, damage is not
implicit,” says founder of Vixen & Blush, Easilocks Rose
flicking my new hair at everyone
Sarah McKenna. “But it is determined by Gold Oil Heat
from my poor Uber driver to the how experienced your stylist is, the glue Protector Pro,
guy who delivered my ASOS order. they use, how it’s removed and how £25.81
Some girls like to apply expensive you treat your hair.” Assuming your hair
type is suitable for them to be applied, Wet Brush-Pro
make-up to feel good. Some lift Epic Extension Pureology Hydrate
the ‘glue’-free micro rings are generally
weights three times a week and Brush, £17.99 Shampoo, £16; and
considered the most user-friendly. Conditioner, £20
some turn to Botox. And some, “If an extension is tugged, the ring slips
like me and Dolly Parton, just wear down the hair, rather than taking your
a hell of a lot of hair not grown natural hair with it,” McKenna says. i
out of our own follicles.

108 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
READ

Extensions Downsides: The removal is messier

and longer, with acetone applied to
the keratin bond so it can be crushed
What's in a mane?
Cut out any confusion. Here are

untangled
Is picking the right type
into a powder and brushed out. This
process also means the hair can’t be
reused, so that’s brand-new hair every
three-to-four months – pricey.
the buzzwords to look out for
SYNTHETIC
As in, not real.
REMY
All strands are
Yes, it’s loads facing the same
You’ll love them because: This is
making your head hurt? the most discreet method by far,
cheaper, which way, with the
is great… if you cuticles pointing
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110 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 COSMOPOLITAN PROMOTION

HOW TO SERVE…
It’s time to throw away that elaborate
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range is much easier, and here to

ICE, ICE baby

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only is sparkling wine on ice
acceptable now, it’s about to change
your life. Oh, and a quick tip for
when you get to the bar: it’s
pronounced “fresh-eh-net”. Don’t
worry, we had to Google it, too.
Ja S ro
ski h
c
R 6 i n

112 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 rl-cool will give your step more
e sh take on cowgi
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This f ing than a bucking bronco. Saddle up, partner…
spr MP Ph EY STE otographs S A M C O P E L A N D
Ed itor S A I R
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Senior
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Isabel Marant.
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Urban Outfitters.
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Illesteva. Sandals,
£55, Teva

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earrings, £275,
both Mulberry.
Shorts, around
£128, Dondup.com

118
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23
3
GET YOUR
GLITTER ON
Styled by us and worn by our favourite influencers,
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the new festival range from Primark has well and
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Hannah wears:
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 COSMOPOLITAN PROMOTION

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 SINGLE? SETTLED? WE’VE GOT YOU COVERED

RIP

98% effective against morons

WORDS JENNIFER SAVIN. PHOTOGRAPHS PIXELEYES

RUBBER STAMP IT
First it was driving, then came ironing… now the latest activity to join the outsourcing-app
world is having potentially awkward conversations with your partner. New relationship apps
Kindu and Undercovers suggest a range of sexual exploits for you and your partner to rate,
and ‘matches’ the ones you’re both into. LegalFling, meanwhile, is a much-anticipated Dutch
app planned for rollout, where instead of matching with new people, users are able to set
up consent contracts (including whether you’re willing to use condoms or agree to photos
or videos being taken) with the ‘close personal friends’ in their contacts. A technological
step too far or the most exciting online survey you’ll ever complete? We’re undecided.

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 127
 THE
POLYAMORY
DIARIES

“There’s a big
difference
between
polyamory &
swınging...”
It’s been four months since Jack’s* wife
told him she wanted to be polyamorous.
This month, he tries to get his head
around ‘poly sex’ versus ‘casual sex’

128 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 O
ne of the complicated things ‘dom’ or ‘sub’. Being a ‘switch’, she’s
about polyamory is that it happy to accommodate both with
means different things to props ranging from the ‘traditional’
different people. Many ‘poly (corsets) to the more surprising (strap-
people’ are in the position ons). Often she will film whatever she
where they have a primary partner does to show to her main boyfriend
– in my case, my wife, Lucy* – with when he gets home. It’s a huge
whom they’ve reached an agreement turn-on, and we soon end up in her
to have a more open relationship. bedroom. Things are about to get
Whereas others have multiple heated when she tells me she has a
relationships, which are all on an rule: she never sleeps with anyone
equal footing in terms of commitment until she’s had more than two dates
and time spent. Something that is with them. It seems even polyamory
agreed upon is that polyamory is has a traditional side. I lock in our
more than just sleeping around. Sex third date for the next week.
should be something that strengthens When we meet up again, we’re soon
a relationship, rather than being back on her bed, talking dirty. But
some sort of end game. Otherwise, rather than the amateur-porn scenario
it’s not polyamory, it’s swinging. I’d been expecting, our tryst ends in
But it’s not easy. My wife’s first nothing more exotic than a blow job,
extra-marital relationship ended and I leave wondering if Lisa is really
abruptly when her boyfriend as adventurous as she says.
began to take issue with her Over the next few weeks, the
being married. Meanwhile, fire and urgency disappears
my only ongoing relationship from our text exchanges,
is with Nell*, who is also “While her and those familiar time
polyamorous with a primary boyfriend pressures intervene. We fail
partner at home, which
means we have yet to find
works, the to arrange another meeting.
Some might expect
a moment where we can others visit” polyamory to mean a lot
share a bed. The truly of sex with a lot of different
complicated thing about people. But the fact that
polyamory? Simply finding most people involved in this
the time. I like the idea of building lifestyle, by definition, have so many
meaningful relationships, but other options on the table means the
diarising with my family is hard metaphorical ‘bar’ for real intimacy is
enough, let alone trying to find time set much higher than it might be on
to date a string of other women, too. the singles dating scene. So the free
And yet, I’m determined to make availability of casual sex that I thought
as many new connections as I can. polyamory might lead to has not
Lisa* is another poly girl I meet materialised. Both Lisa and I moved
through dating app OKCupid. She on without a second look back. Would
PHOTOGRAPH AGATA PEC. *NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED

lives nearby and we meet at her it have been so easy if we’d both been
local pub. There is an instant spark single? Perhaps polyamory really is a
and she tells me that her live-in more enlightened, less high-pressured
boyfriend works nights, and her way to meet people and create
other boyfriends visit while he’s genuine connections. I’m still hopeful.
out. We arrange another date
for a week later… at her place. The Polyamory Diaries chronicles one
On our second evening together, man’s reluctant journey into polyamory
I learn a little more about her set-up. in order to save his marriage. Read the
previous instalments at Cosmopolitan.
She’s into S&M, and her current com/uk/polyamory-diaries
boyfriends are categorised as either

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 129
A D U LT N O N - F I C T I O N

MY
BEST SEX
EVERWAS…
with another woman
Alex’s* work party ended up taking a very unexpected turn…
I’d always got on with Clare.* intoxicating, and when she suggested down my body, kissing, biting and
Whenever I was booked sharing an Uber back to hers for a post- stroking my skin. When she reached
to work in her office as a party drink, I said yes immediately. my knickers, she tugged them off and
freelancer, I’d sit diagonally As soon as the engine started, her threw them onto the floor, before
opposite her and we’d catch each hands were in my hair, her lips on running her hands up my thighs.
other’s eye every time we shared a mine. She ran her tongue around the When she finally touched my clitoris,
joke. I thought she was absolutely inside of my mouth, and my body gently, with her fingertips, I was so
beautiful. She had a real gothic responded instinctively. I hadn’t turned on I nearly screamed with
beauty and was tall and curvy, with imagined it – the chemistry was real. the intensity of it. Then her tongue
black shoulder-length hair and smoky Her skin was soft and smelled of replaced her fingers, and she gave
eye make-up. I’d always considered coconut body lotion. Just me the best head of my life,
myself straight, and had only ever the thought of what we licking me so sensually that
been with men before, but there were doing turned me on I came almost straight away.
was just something about her. – the fact it was so illicit I then returned the favour,
Often, and quite inexplicably, and surprising, yet also “I knew discovering I found it as
I’d find myself fantasising about strangely inevitable. exactly how much of a turn-on making
kissing her. I knew she was casually
dating a couple of guys, so figured
We tore each other’s
clothes off as we stumbled
and where her writhe and moan as
it had been being on the
it would stay at just that: a fantasy. into her flat – and then to kiss her” receiving end. There was
One evening, however, the company into her bedroom. She something so different about
PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES. *NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED
threw a big ‘Aren’t we doing well?’ pulled my dress off over being with a woman – the
back-patting celebration party my head and unclipped softness of her body, the fact
at a posh local venue. Clare and my bra, pushing me backwards onto I knew instinctively how and where to
I went together, walking arm-in-arm, the bed. She straddled me, wearing stroke, lick and kiss her, as it’s where
swigging gin out of the hip flask she just her knickers, and kissed my lips, I like to be stroked, licked and kissed.
carried in her clutch bag. We spent earlobes and neck, moving softly and The next morning, we said goodbye,
all night laughing, dancing and, yes, slowly to my breasts, cupping one agreeing to keep this just between
flirting. She constantly found excuses gently while flicking the nipple with ourselves. It wouldn’t happen again; it
to touch me, whether it was rubbing her tongue. My hands gripped her was best kept as a wonderful one-off.
away smudged lipstick or holding hair and I bucked my hips against Whenever I worked with her after that,
my hand when we moved from hers. I was so wet I couldn’t bear the though, and we caught each other’s
room to room. I found the attention anticipation. She moved teasingly eye, we’d always share a secret smile.

130 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 WORST DATES EVER Hey, we’ve all been there…

We went for drinks,

then dinner. At the I DROVEUSTOARUGBY
S MATCH,
restaurant, he realised
he’d left his laptop bag Pre-date, he texted asking BUT MY DATEWAS SO HUNGOVER,
in the pub and started
if I was on birth control I HAD TO STOP THE CAR SO HE COULD
freaking out. He cried, VOMIT. HE THEN ASKED TO BE DROPPED
then called the bar
repeatedly until they
because “Daddy has an AT A FRIEND’S HOUSE SO HE COULD
picked up and told impregnation fetish”. CARRY ON DRINKING. I WENT TO THE
him it was still there. EMILY, 23
APRIL, 25
GAME WITH MY EX INSTEAD.
MADISON, 22

My date declared
that “Hitler wasn’t
HE RETURNED FROM THE TOILET, PUSHED
actually such a bad MY HAIR BACK AND GRUNTED, “YOU SORT OF The day after our date,
guy”, and “if he hadn’t
lost the war, he’d be
LOOK LIKE A MODEL… FROM FAR AWAY.” I messaged to tell him we
SOPHIE, 30 should just be friends. His
a national hero”.
reply? “We’ll see,” followed
MAGGI, 22 by three skull emojis.
LIV, 29

He cancelledour dinner,
He cancelled on me 10 minutes suggesting we go for drinks
He pulled out my
before our date because his granddad with his female friend Tinder profile and
was sick. Weeks later, we finally met instead. At the bar, he told started comparing
AS TOLD TO JENNIFER SAVIN. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES

and were talking about past dates. He me to buy her a drink, kissed my photos to my face,
telling me how the
said that he’d never stood anyone up, her, then said, “We’re all lighting made my
but had made excuses not to go... going to have a good time features look different.
such as his granddad being ill. tonight.” I left immediately. KATHERINE, 23
GABRIELLA, 25 AISHA, 27 ✱ Got a dating nightmare to
share? Email worstdatesever
@cosmopolitan.co.uk
FERAL FACTOR

HOLD YOUR HORSES CRAZY FROG TOTAL PIG OTTER LOSER

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 131
 d Zack
Crystal an
ar ago
about a ye

“He was more into it than I was”

Crystal Foster, 21, is a model from Doncaster

I met Zack in a club just over two years ago.

The first thing I remember about him was how
talkative and well-dressed he was. I was on a night
out with some friends when he came over. We
got chatting and it didn’t take long before we were kissing.
At the end of the night we swapped numbers and started
dating almost immediately afterwards.
At first we had a lot of fun. I’m quite a shy person, so
I liked that he was confident and chatty, and my friends loved
him: they thought he was really sweet. But things changed as
time went on. He was so cute and polite when we first met,
but the more I got to know him, it became clear he wasn’t
that person. He was cocky and in-your-face, and he tried too
hard to present a ‘cool’ image of himself when he was around
his friends. Just before my 21st birthday, we broke it off by
text. I didn’t want to do it in person. I wasn’t bothered when
it ended – although when we’d met, I’d wondered if he
could end up being my big first love, I know now that
I never loved him. He was definitely more into it than I was.
When we met up, we barely mentioned our relationship
– there’s nothing more to say. I thought the date could
be a good chance for us to start a friendship, but I was
surprised by the kind of person he turned out to be; he was
laddish and image-obsessed. I was also annoyed when I left,
as he was constantly trying to
flirt with me – on the drive Would you see him again?
home I was stuck in traffic “No, definitely not. If I saw
and he messaged me saying him in person I’d be civil,
that I should have just stayed but I’d never go out of my
way to see or speak to him.
at his instead. I thought it was
He’s no longer someone
a sly thing to say, and I haven’t I’d want to be with.”
spoken to him since then.

132 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 Each
month, we
send two
former lovers
on a date to
see what
happens

“She’s become a worse version of herself ”

Zack Smith, 22, is an entrepreneur from Essex

When I first saw Crystal across the club, I thought

she was stunning so I went over and we got chatting.
We had a laugh all night, and she ended up coming
back to mine. After that, she was always on my case,
so we were texting every day and meeting up every weekend.
About two weeks after we’d met, we made it official.
We’re very different, but it worked. It was like a friendship
and a romance in one. I liked that she was business-minded
and ambitious, and obviously she’s beautiful, too. It was my
first experience of love at first sight. After five weeks together,

AS TOLD TO DANIELLA SCOTT. PHOTOGRAPHS ANTONIO PETRONZIO. HAIR & MAKE-UP EMILY-JANE WILLIAMS.
we went to London for the weekend. When we were

STYLING CHLOE BEENEY. THANKS TO RIVERFORD AT THE DUKE OF CAMBRIDGE (DUKEORGANIC.CO.UK)

cuddled up in bed, I told her I loved her and she said it back.
Just being with her made me happy. She motivated me
to be a better person, but things changed when she started
modelling – she became a diva. Before that she was
considerate and caring, but she became selfish and snobby.
When I brought it up with her she was adamant that I was
the one who’d changed, then she started saying the distance
was too much, but that was only an excuse. She just didn’t
want to be with me, so we broke up. However, this date was
like starting again, and it was very flirty. She kept hinting
about moving down South soon and tried to feed me
nachos. After dinner, she was moaning about the long drive
home and I got the feeling she wanted to stay at mine, but
she isn’t my type any more.
She’s become a worse version Would you see her again?
of herself. We kissed, and I’d “I wouldn’t go on another
sleep with her again, if she date with her. She drove me
wanted to, but nothing more. insane. I don’t mind if she
wants to stay friends but
4Want to be reunited with your nothing romantic can
first love? Email us at first. happen between us.”
[email protected]

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 133
 Subscribe to
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 BECAUSE LIFE’S ALL ABOUT THE 5-9
WORDS JENNIFER SAVIN. PHOTOGRAPH LOUISA PARRY. POLAROID 600 COOL CAM IN PINK AND GREY, £169.99, UK.POLAROIDORIGINALS.COM. ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES.
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If the words ‘group trip’ make you think of
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Now companies such as Flash Pack*, For The Love Of Travel**
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C O S M O P O L I TA N · 135
We’ve circled the
globe to find THE
best stretches
of sand. It was
a tough job, but,
hey, someone
had to do it… i
137
 Beauty
writer LUCY
PARTINGTON
found a secret beach
so relaxing, even
the resident sharks
were laid-back KIA ORA RESORT & SPA

The most
Where on earth? Slap-bang (basically a ring-shaped Apart pressure you’ll organise
feel all trip
in the middle of the South coral reef) in the world. from your your day
Pacific Ocean – 10,000 Then, finally, sail an hour personal, trip to the
miles away, AKA one of west until you arrive at ukulele- Blue Lagoon
the furthest places from the Blue Lagoon. playing boat with Oviri
the UK. To get there, you Sounds like a mission. It is, captain and Excursions.
need to navigate your way but this beach is more than chief BBQ-er Stay in one of
to Paris, then make yourself worth the epic pilgrimage: (and maybe one Kia Ora’s dreamy
comfy on the 22-hour the sand is a perfect shade of his pals, if he comes over-water bungalows. Even
flight to Tahiti (there’s a of gold, and the water so along for the ride). the standard double rooms
two-hour refuel in LA so blue and so clear that you’ll Top spot: Right in the come with a not-so-standard
you can stretch your legs have a hard time believing water itself. There are private pool. Instagram
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butter M&Ms). Jump on wi-fi in the middle of the can move into the sea – everywhere (#nofilter
another plane and fly 200 ocean, and you definitely it’s a lagoon so it’s shallow necessary), and make sure
miles north to Rangiroa, won’t see another human enough. You’ll probably you grab a scoop (or 12)
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(friendly) blacktip reef version in French Polynesia
Kia Ora: no sharks, but that’s part (the group of islands where
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For internal Air Tahiti flights,
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double rooms at Kia Ora Resort
& Spa from £400 per room;
Rangiroalagoon.com/en

138 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
 For once, falling out
of your hammock really
isn’t such a bad thing
ANANTARA DHIGU MALDIVES RESORT

Can I stay? Yes! With 110

beach villas and over-water
suites, Anantara Dhigu
Maldives Resort is the only
resort on the island. And

MALDIVES
if you want more than
just a chance to relax in
a hammock with a book,
there’s plenty of stuff to do
on this tiny sandbar in the
Indian Ocean. Try surfing
or open-water scuba diving
with the help of the on-site
Senior fashion a stingray casually gliding seafood, dance beneath the professionals, Aquafanatics.
editor SAIREY past in the shallow waters. stars, then wade out to the Treat yourself to a massage
Then be sure to look up at mid-water rope swing and at the spa (bliss). Eat lunch
STEMP the incredible expanse of enjoy a 360° view of your at Dhigu’s over-water
fed her Instagram turquoise from sea to sky. very own tropical paradise. restaurant, Sea. Fire. Salt,
with photos of sea Heaven. Tell me more! Top spot: The tiny and dine in the evening at
turtles, and her face First off, you’ll fall in uninhabited island the five-star Thai restaurant
with a slew of seafood love with your of Gulhi Fushi. Baan Huraa. You can even
Ah, the end of a hard
thatched- day of sunbathing… It’s a coconut’s watch a movie beneath the
roofed throw away stars on the beach. And, yes,
Where on earth? villa – you from Dhigu popcorn is provided. i
Dhigufinolhu Island can stroll and reached
(mercifully just called straight off via a
Dhigu for short) is a the deck pontoon GET ME TO PARADISE
Anantara Dhigu
circular white sandbank onto white – grab a
Maldives Resort,
in the middle of a piercing sand, and on picnic and from £615 per night per room
blue lagoon that’s only into the ocean. spend a blissful for a Sunrise/Sunset Beach
a 35-minute speedboat ride On Tuesday evenings, day on your own Villa, includes complimentary
from the airport in Malé, top chefs from Anantara Robinson Crusoe-style half-board for two people and
transfers; Dhigu-maldives.
the Maldives’ capital. As Dhigu Maldives Resort fantasy isle. Even better,
anantara.com. Qatar Airways
you step onto the jetty, cook up a delicious beach borrow a kayak and paddle flies to the Maldives several
make sure you look down, buffet accompanied by a over, watched by the local times a week. Returns via Doha
as you’ll probably spot DJ. Stuff your face on local sea turtles as you pass by. from £549; Qatarairways.com

139
 spot. There’s a 100m
ESSQUE ZALU ZANZIBAR
Lights on, no one wooden jetty
home: perfect that stretches
out to a cosy
restaurant, all
candles, sofas
and fresh fish.
There’s also
an intriguingly
named spa-fari
where we had the
Masai Ritual – two hours
of obscene pampering that
included five Masai warriors,
three goats and a fire pit.
Accommodation (Superior
Garden Suite inset),
meanwhile, is simple but
elegant – a mix of white-

ZANZIBAR
washed villas for groups
and pretty bungalows for
couples, surrounded by
acres of manicured gardens.
Essque Zalu is a word-of-
mouth discovery – a truly
low-key luxury experience,
the memory of which will
Editor-in-chief a freshly run bath and the sometimes the sea is keep you going through
FARRAH sand so blindingly white nothing more than a pale the grimmest work day.
that headaches come with blue meniscus on the As for the beach… let’s just
STORR every sunbathing session. horizon, and it’s just you keep it between us, eh?
found peace and So where is ‘the’ beach? and a handful of cockle-
quiet on beautiful Head to Nungwi, a sliver pickers roaming the shore.
sands far from the of coastline studded with Things you won’t find here: GET ME TO PARADISE
Essque Zalu Zanzibar,
madding crowds outrageously photogenic inflatable-banana rides,
from £366 per suite
stretches of sand – we’re drunk Brits with third- per night; Essquehotels.com.
talking real dazzlers of degree sunburn and full- Oman Air flies to Muscat, Oman,
Where on earth? Zanzibar, fine white powder broken moon parties full of berks from London Heathrow twice a
that’s where: the teeny only by the odd fisherman singing DJ Otzi. Things you day, and daily from Manchester,
with onward flights to Zanzibar
tear-shaped archipelago studiously repairing his will find: complete solitude.
available five days a week.
off the coast of Kenya. dhow. In the morning, the Can I stay there? You Return economy fares from
Here you will find beaches tide pulls so far out that certainly can. Essque Zalu £499; Omanair.com
and coral reefs just is that rare thing: a five-star
as spectacular as hotel with earthy service
those in the nearby and bundles of character.
Seychelles, but
minus the fawning
In the middle of the
quietest stretch of Nungwi, Brilliant
honeymooners and
obnoxious drink
prices. On the
north-east coast,
and with a crescent of
private beach (so no need
to worry about someone
hawking you a ‘Gucci’
BRIT TRIPS
Think UK beach, think rain,
the Indian Ocean sunhat while you bask), windbreaks and Mr Whippy
is as warm as Essque occupies the perfect rip-offs? Think again…

140
Masai Ritual
 “Look lively, Nigel,
the Beeb are here”

Tortuga Bay’s
a natural beauty.
Travel editor Just like us…

AMANDA
Island in the super-remote and nesting the island’s
STATHAM Galápagos Islands. You blue-footed only proper
hung with sea lions, know, the archipelago boobies (it’s settlement,
lizards and other rare 1,000km off the coast of a bird, stop and has en-
wildlife. Watch out, Ecuador where Charles sniggering). suite rooms
Attenborough… Darwin came up with his Top spot: The and a pool –
theory of evolution, where first crescent of sand what more do you
David Attenborough’s at the end of the boardwalk need? Or, do an ‘18-to-35
Where on earth? Tortuga always filming wildlife and is vast, wild and a fave spot Contiki Island Hopper’ trip,
Bay, a remote beach (it’s a your mates talked about for surfers (yep, despite the and sleep on the beautiful
25-minute walk from the visiting on Gap Yah but sharks). Head instead to Isabela Island, a two-hour

OPENING PHOTOGRAPH CARLA GULER. FASHION DIRECTOR CHEE SMITH. HAIR ADAM GARLAND. MAKE-UP ALENA MOISEEVA,
nearest road via a wooden never quite made it? the second crescent of speedboat ride away. ◆
boardwalk) on Santa Cruz OK… but why this beach? sand, which is quieter

ALL AT MMG ARTISTS. MODEL DARIA M AT MMG MODELS. ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, SHUTTERSTOCK
The sand is so white it with calmer sea – great for
looks fake (but isn’t) and snorkelling with turtles. GET ME TO PARADISE
there are no beach bars or Can I stay? You can’t stay The six-day
Galápagos Island
stalls selling holiday tat. at the beach, but Hotel Hopper, from £1,845 per
The ‘Never-going- But the real draw is the Albemarle is probably the person with Contiki (also takes
home’ cruise? Count wildlife: you’ll see marine best on the island (there in Guayaquil, Isabela, Santa
us very much in iguanas (the Galápagos is aren’t many to choose from, Cruz and San Cristóbal islands).
the only place in the world so don’t get too excited). Includes twin-share hotel
rooms, internal flights and
these lizards live – oh, and It overlooks a white-sand transport, meals and excursions
they have two penises, weird beach in Puerto Villamil, including Tortuga Bay and
but true), the odd sea lion a small fishing village and Kicker Rock; Contiki.com

Swap the Seychelles Swap the Caribbean Swap the Maldives

for the ISLES for CORNWALL for the HEBRIDES
OF SCILLY This island Carbis Bay boasts Try the Isle of Barra.
chain off Cornwall is the miles of soft golden White-sand: tick. Your
UK’s best-kept secret: beach and turquoise plane lands on a beach:
micro-climate, palm water. Pretend you’re tick. Great seafood: tick.
trees, white sand. Stay at the Karma living in the tropics at The Carbis Bay OK, it lacks over-water villas, but the
Hotel on St Martin’s and dine with your Hotel, with its cool beachside restaurant rooms in the Isle of Barra Beach Hotel
feet in the sand; Karmagroup.com and luxury yacht; Carbisbayhotel.co.uk do have sea views; Isleofbarrahotel.co.uk

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 141
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 TH
C PPOLII N
N RACTT

contrac
This is an agreement made by A Person Trying To Save A B
Bit Of Cash This Month,

_______________________________ (hereafter referred to as The Thrifty)

y

THE RT A tea towel? To make it look more special, The Thrifty will
The Thrifty will begin by making a budget end up buying a gift bag that inexplicably costs £5.50.
dh
spreadsheet. She will input her essential outgoings for “I’ve always wanted a dreamcatcher!” the friend will say.
the month – food, bills, rent, Netflix, beauty subscription
box – and spend two hours fiddling with Excel to decide
which is the most frugal-looking font. Eventually she
will add up the columns and discover that she spends
5  TRIMMING THE FAT
To avoid going out for dinner, The Thrifty will invite
everyone round for a night in. “I’ll just cook a big, cheap
more in Topshop than she does on council tax and stew!” she will say, choosing an easy Nigella recipe which
heating. She will hide her credit card in the freezer. will turn out to involve pine nuts, saffron and a special
type of oil that costs £4.79. The Thrifty won’t buy any

2 TIGHTENING THE BELT

In an effort to stop giving half her wages to M&S
Food, The Thrifty will buy a big bag of lunch supplies.
wine, hoping everyone will bring some. They won’t. She
will end up serving some limoncello she won in a raffle.

She will make a stuffed pitta with hummus and salad for
lunch in the office kitchen, telling everyone it only costs
75p when you break down the cost of ingredients! Which
6 CUTTING BACK
The Thrifty will volunteer as a model for trainee
hairdressers, which will end in tears when they confuse
she has. When a collection envelope comes round for Zooey Deschanel with Zoë Wanamaker. After her
Janet’s leaving present, she will put in an IOU for a hug. eco-friendly reusable cup dribbles coffee all over the
inside of her bag, The Thrifty will switch to her back-up

3 THE BIG STRETCH

To save money on transport and justify cancelling
her gym membership, The Thrifty will decide to start
strategy: being aggressively smiley to Pret baristas, in
the hope of blagging a free flat white. Eventually one
will ask, kindly, if she is in pain.
walking everywhere. In order to motivate herself, she
will buy a new fitness tracker (only an extra £35 for
rose gold!), a new pair of trainers and two extra cans
of deodorant for her desk drawer. But you have to
7  TREAT YO’SELF
The Thrifty will find herself composing a furious all-
company email to ask who took her last pitta from the
spend money to save money, everyone knows that. fridge, typing, “Whoever did it OWES ME 37p!!!” She will
go to Janet’s leaving drinks to rinse the company bar t

4
WORDS LAUREN BRAVO. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES

THE PERSONAL TOUCH By 9pm, she will have bought a round (of extortionate
Instead of
o buying a birthday present for overpriced craft spirits). By midnight she
h will
ill
her best ffriend, The Thrifty will decide to be in an Uber with a KFC family bucket and
econoomise by making something. She a Euromillions ticket, doing an ASOS haul
will lose several evenings (and some on her phone. In the morning, she will
w
blood) to hand-sewing a… a thing. wake to find her Visa card in the sink,
Iss it a blanket? A wall hanging? surrounded by defrosted peas…

Signed:
(The Thrifty)

146