A RE-APPROPRIATION OF GABRIEL MARCEL’S THE

MYSTERY OF THE FAMILY IN THE FILIPINO CONTEXT

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A Thesis
Submitted to
Faculty of Arts and Letters
University of Santo Tomas

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In Partial Fulfillment
Of the requirements for the degree,
Bachelor of Arts in Philosophy

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By

IVAN EFREAIM A. GOZUM

May 2019
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Abstract

In the past century, the advancements and changes of modernization has greatly
impacted the way people live in the society. As modernization produced a more
liberal modern world, the society now needs to reflect on this situation and be
awakened of the need to go back and focus in its very foundation: family, the
basic unit of the society, the springboard for a society to exist. However, the way
of life of families was also changed by the negative effects of modernization,
which resulted to the increase in number of cases of broken families, cases of
divorce and annulment and improper formation of children. This study aims to
look at the situation of Filipino families. The research delves on how the Filipino
families have changed from its traditional roots to the landscape that the Filipino
family is at today. In order for one to have a realization of what an epitome of a
Filipino family could be, the research uses Gabriel Marcel’s lecture entitled The
Mystery of the Family to offer a new perspective and proper lenses on how one
must look at today’s situation of the Filipino family. To be specific, issues
regarding adultery, divorce, annulment and child formation will be discussed
appropriately using Marcel’s thoughts on the family. These thoughts are mainly
his discussion on the person and the pact between person and life, creative fidelity
and hope from the said essay. Thus, this research urges one to look at the family
as a mystery which lets one realize the reality of being involved in the family.
Apart from this, one can look at the family as both value and presence which
encourages one to always value their families by being faithful to the family
lineage and always recognize the family as their protective skin. Moreover, in the
family, the parents must be reminded of the values of fidelity, generosity and
availability towards one another. Lastly, the researcher suggests that parents must
also fulfil their duties to their children by becoming exemplars to their children.
Hence, one must maintain the sacredness of family life and hope in Thee for the
preservation of the Filipino family.
Keywords: Mystery, Fidelity, Filipino Family, Modernization
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Approval Sheet
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Declaration of originality
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SafeAssign Certificate
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Acknowledgement

I would like to express my sincerest gratitude to the people who helped

and inspired me to finish my thesis and study hard in this prestigious institution,
the Pontifical and Royal University of Santo Tomas. For those who prayed for
me, I like to express my deepest gratitude to all of you. There are many people to
be mentioned in regards to the contribution of my thesis. However, I cannot state
everyone which is why I handpicked those who really helped and inspired me in
this endeavor.
First of all, to Dr. Jove Jim Aguas, my beloved thesis adviser, I would like
to thank you for supporting me and inspiring me in writing a thesis on Gabriel
Marcel. You always encouraged me and motivated me that I can finish this thesis.
Thank you for being a guide in every decision that I made. It is already a great
honor to be under your tutelage for you have always been regarded as one of the
best professors that the university has to offer.
I would like to thank also my panelists, Dr. Emmanuel De Leon and Mr.
Einstein Mejaro, for your commendations and suggestions during my defense. It
is a great honor to be recognized by great minds like the two of you.
I would also like to thank Ma. Georgina Silva and Rev. Fr. Venusto
Suarez for lending me primary and secondary sources on Gabriel Marcel. Without
the both of you, my research on Marcel would be a difficult task. Those books are
very much appreciated. Also, I would like to thank Helen Mae Moreno and
Christopher Reguindin for editing the grammar of my thesis.
I would like to thank all my professors at University of Santo Tomas for
helping me dig deeper on the realm of philosophy. I would like to commend Dr.
Fleur Deliz Albela, Dr. Michael Anthony Vasco, Dr. Paolo Bolaños, Dr.
Emmanuel De Leon, Dr. Jovito Cariño and the Venerable Master – Dr. Alfredo
Co. You are all the professors who left the biggest marks in my pursuit for
knowledge.
Also, I would like to thank my “second parents” or the priests and
professors who still guided me even though I am not in the seminary anymore.
These people are Rev. Fr. Dino Albert Pineda, Rev. Fr. Aristotle Maniago, Rev.
Fr. Danilo Dizon, Rev. Fr. Ely Dizon, Señor Antonio Pangilinan, Mr. Danilo
Maglaqui and Mrs. Essel De Jesus. Thank you for reminding me to never forget
the values that I learned in the seminary.
I would like to thank my classmates both from the University of Santo
Tomas and Mother of Good Counsel Seminary. To 4PHL2, thank you for
welcoming me to your block and sharing with me unforgettable memories. To
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Poets 2014, thank you for being my source of laughter and inspiration whenever I
feel down. To Batch Humilitas, thank you for always reminding me to persevere
and always try to be humble in each situation in life.
I would like to thank my kuya, Rev. Fr. Ervin Ray Garcia, O.P., for
helping me in my dream to study at the University of Santo Tomas possible.
Thank you for always guiding me all throughout my studies.
Also, I would like to thank my family, Papa, Mama, Ivonne and Gabby.
Thank you for being the inspiration for choosing the topic for my thesis. Without
all of you, I will not reach this achievement. Always remember that the family is a
mystery and our ties must last forever.
Most importantly, I would like to thank our Divine Father. Thank you for
being my source of strength. Thank you for letting me know that I can achieve
things as long as I keep the faith. Just like what Saint Paul said, “I can do all
things through Christ who strengthens me” (Phil 4:13). Mipapangadi!
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Dedication

For Apung Boy and Apung Paket….

For my family and friends…

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Table of Contents

Abstract ................................................................................................................... 1
Approval Sheet ........................................................................................................ 2
Declaration of originality ........................................................................................ 3
SafeAssign Certificate ............................................................................................. 4
Acknowledgement ................................................................................................... 5
Dedication ............................................................................................................... 7
Table of Contents .................................................................................................... 8
CHAPTER 1 General Introduction ....................................................................... 10
Background of the Study ................................................................................... 10
Review of Related Literature ............................................................................ 20
The Philosophy of Gabriel Marcel ................................................................ 20
Articles on Gabriel Marcel on the Family ..................................................... 26
The Filipino Family ....................................................................................... 29
Methodology ..................................................................................................... 41
CHAPTER 2 The Filipino Family in the Modern Times ...................................... 44
Introduction ....................................................................................................... 44
Traditional Filipino Family Values ................................................................... 45
On Marriage, Fidelity and Spousal Relationship .......................................... 50
On Child and Parenting ................................................................................. 56
The Challenges of Modernization to the Filipino Family ................................. 61
On Marriage, Fidelity and Spousal Relationship .......................................... 66
On Child and Parenting ................................................................................. 71
CHAPTER 3 Gabriel Marcel’s The Mystery of the Family ................................. 74
Introduction ....................................................................................................... 74
On Problem and Mystery .................................................................................. 74
Primary and Secondary Reflection .................................................................... 77
Indisponibilité and Disponibilité ....................................................................... 79
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Creative Fidelity ................................................................................................ 82

The Mystery of the Family ................................................................................ 83
The Family as a Mystery ............................................................................... 83
The Family as Value and Presence................................................................ 92
On Marriage and the Pact between Person and Life ..................................... 98
The Family as Mystery of Fidelity and Hope ............................................. 102
On Child and Hope ...................................................................................... 105
CHAPTER 4 Marcel’s The Mystery of the Family in the Filipino Context ........ 110
Introduction ..................................................................................................... 110
Marcel and the “Mystery of the Filipino Family” ........................................... 110
On Marriage and Fidelity ................................................................................ 115
On Child and Parenting ................................................................................... 124
CHAPTER 5 Summary, Conclusion and Recommendation ............................... 134
Summary and Conclusion ............................................................................... 134
Recommendation ............................................................................................. 142
Bibliography ........................................................................................................ 143
Primary Sources .............................................................................................. 143
Secondary Sources .......................................................................................... 143
Books ........................................................................................................... 143
Journal Articles ........................................................................................... 145
Articles from the Internet ............................................................................ 147
Periodicals ................................................................................................... 149
Documents ................................................................................................... 150
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CHAPTER 1

General Introduction

Background of the Study

Aldo Tassi once said that modernity is not a well-defined system of

concepts but rather a point of view or representing a situation.1 He discussed that

modernity is a point of view and not a specific time period in history. He traced

that modernity started when different inventions, reformations and discoveries of

humans began to rise. These led to the rise of modern empirical science and one

of its greatest contribution – industrialization. Industrialization is a way of life

that propagates profound economic, social, political, and cultural changes in the

society. It is by undergoing industrialization that societies become modern, thus,

undergoing fully to the continuous process of modernization.2

Modernization has given both positive and negative effects in the society.

It gave way for a human being to discover what one can do. It helped one explore

the possibilities that one’s existence can actualize. It made humans look at

themselves as the center of the universe. Unfortunately, modernization also paved

way to negative events that occurred. It led to invention of weapons of mass

destruction. Indeed, every success has a coinciding consequence. Behind these

1
Aldo Tassi, “Modernity as Transformation of Truth into Meaning,” in Philosophy of
Man: Selected Readings, ed. Manuel B. Dy, Jr., (Makati: Goodwill Bookstore, 1982), 17.
2
See Krishan Kumar, “Modernization,” in Brittanica Encyclopaedia,
https://www.britannica.com/topic/modernization, retrieved on September 11, 2018
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things, one will eventually realize that, behind all the noisiness and heaviness that

modernization was able to produce, one will feel the comfort and importance of

one’s beginnings. This, the researcher thinks, seems to originate from one’s home

– family.

The family is the basic unit of the society. It is the beginning of social

relationships. The family plays a vital role in the society and is considered as the

most important formation house for a person. Only a child’s parents can start to

educate the child. The members of the family have a relationship which many

consider unbreakable. The family usually starts with the marriage of a couple.

When the couple is able to produce an offspring, one can say that the family

already consists of the required members of a complete family.

Throughout history, the importance, character and value of the family has

been challenged by many occurrences in history as humanity continues to

progress. Modernization has affected the formation of the family. Many tragedies

throughout the history, such as World War I and II, have killed lives of innocent

people. Modernization has also influenced the way persons communicate and

look at how to live their own lives.

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Martin Plattel, a British writer, said that the family has frequently been

spoken to as the community par excellence.3 It is expected that all citizens must

have a strong foundation of good moral character. It is expected that the parents

will be able to mold their children to prepare them to what the world will bring. It

is sad to see that in today’s world, the bonds of the families are gradually

weakening. The family is slowly being desecrated. Some people have forgotten

the real importance of the family: the divorce rate, child abuses and cases of

adultery have been increasing.

Filipino families value their families very highly, an exceptional character

which they are known for. Without regards of the liberal influence they have

gotten from the western culture, the family remained the basic unit of the

Philippine society. Filipino families also have high respect to elders and maintain

a close connection with their relatives.

Modernization is catching up with the Filipino family. Modernization

provided both positive and negative effects to the Filipino family. The once

patriarchal trait of the Filipino family is gradually changing. Today, women are

allowed to go to work and the father may not be the sole provider for his family.

The problem that arouse from this practice is the lack of parental guidance for the

3
See Martin Plattel, Social Philosophy, (Pittsburg: Duquesne University Press, 1965),
110.
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children. A result of lack of parental guidance is the tendency of some children to

be rebellious. They tend not to maintain close family ties.

The Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA) has released a statement

regarding an erratic trend in marriages. PSA reported that in a span of 10 years,

the reported number of marriages decreased by 14.4 percent from 2007 to 2016. 4

Moreover, the report states that there is a huge number of registered marriages

that showed a generally decreasing trend from 2007 to 2016, but with speed of

decrease varying for figures 2007-2012, 2012-2016 with shifts in level in 2009,

2012 and in 2015.5 CNN Philippines has reported that during the year 2015, there

has been an increase of support from the Filipinos to legalize divorce. It was

reported that 62% of men and 57% of women are in favor of divorce.6 Apart from

this, the child abuse rate in the country also increased with the divorce rate.

According to the Policy Development and Planning Bureau of the Department of

Social Welfare and Development (DSWD), 4,374 child abuse cases were reported

4
Lisa Grace Bersales, Marriage in the Philippines, 2016,
http://psa.gov.ph/content/marriage-philippines-2016, retrieved on September 12, 2018. Lisa Grace
Bersales is the undersecretary of the Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA). Moreover, she is the
National Statistician and Civil Registrar General.
5
Ibid.
6
Paulo Taruc, SWS: Support for divorce growing in Philippines,
http://cnnphilippines.com/news/2015/03/24/survey-pinoys-favor-divorce.html, retrieved on
February 18, 2018
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in the entire year of 2015. In the first half of 2016, 2,147 cases of child abuse

were already reported.7

These situations are just some of the effects of modernization. Manuel Dy,

Jr., a philosophy professor at the Ateneo de Manila University, points out:

Modernization indeed broadens the human being’s consciousness and freedom

of choice, but this increase of consciousness and liberty easily leads to
licentiousness, giving rise to the phenomenon of divorces, pre-marital sex,
single parenting, broken homes. The crisis in the modern family is primarily
one of solidarity. 8

In this study, these situations are to be viewed in the light of Gabriel

Marcel’s eye-opening essay, from his book Homo Viator: An Introduction to the

Metaphysic of Hope, entitled The Mystery of the Family. From this essay, He

suggests that the family must not be dealt as a problem; rather, as a mystery. He

says:

The family does not suggest just one problem, but an infinity of problems of
every description which could not be considered as a whole; you have already
heard several of them discussed with a competence which I lack. But it is
above all because the family seems to me to belong to an order of realities, or
I should rather say of presences, which can only create problems in so far as
we are mistaken, not so much with regard to their special character, as to the
way in which we human beings are involved in them. 9

7
DJ Yap, Child abuse on rise, DSWD report shows,
http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/798772/child-abuse-on-rise-dswd-report-shows, retrieved on February
18, 2018.
8
Manuel Dy, Jr., “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in
the Asian Context,” in KarununganL A Journal of Philosophy Volume 20, ed. Alfredo Co,
(Manila: UST Publishing House, 2003), 69.
9
Gabriel Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, (New York:
Harper Torchbooks, 1962), 68.
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Marcel compared the mystery of the family to the mystery of the body and

soul which he considers as the root of presences. He said that the family is a

mystery because one is talking about presence not outside of the family but the

family in itself.

Moreover, Manuel Dy, Jr. wants to point out in his article Marcel’s

Mystery of the Family and Problems of Modernization in the Asian Context that

modernization, as one of the occurrences that happens to the society, have greatly

influenced the family. In the Philippines, the family has a noteworthy character.

The Filipino families are known for their close family ties. This has become a

reason why almost all traditional families live in a compound or a place near each

other. One can also see the sincerity of the traditional married couples as they stay

together through different adversities. They remain together through every

difficulty.

In today’s situation of Filipino families, the commitment of the married

couples during their marriage is not being given importance. In today’s generation

as Filipino families, the commitment of married couples is endangered by the

faltering quality of formed relationships which often result to issues of infidelity

and divorce. Marcel discusses that the family is a mystery because it is the

incarnation of the pact between man and life. He accentuates:

The essential act which constitutes marriage is obviously not the pure and
simple mating which is only a human act, common alike to men and animals;
it is not just a momentary union, but one which is to last; it is something
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which is established. A family is founded, it is erected like a monument whose

hewn stone is neither the satisfaction of an instinct, nor the yielding to an
impulse, nor the indulgence of caprice. 10

Marcel wants married couples to give importance and sincerity to the

sacredness of their union. He wants them to take their relationship seriously and

respect its sacredness. He advocates marriage as a vow or commitment and not

just a matter of contract.

As a member of the family, one must be proud to belong to such. Marcel

wants people to look at one’s own family and be proud of it. He further says: “It is

a recognised hierarchy, and I do not merely have to integrate myself into it by

recognising the authority vested in its leader; I have actually been caught up in it

from the origin.”11

Filipino families today present a huge number of broken families which

often caused by bad parenting and lead to rebellious acts of children. Marcel

highlights the need of parents to focus on forming their children. The home, for

Marcel, is not just a place to live in but rather a place for the formation of the

child. The child must be taught well as the child grows up in order for the child to

live well and be a good social being. With proper formation, the child can have an

excellent reason to be proud of his family. Also, the possibility of having broken

families, as it is increasing in a vast number, will decrease.

10
Ibid., 85.
11
Ibid., 76.
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From this, one can draw out the importance of the proper formation of a

child. It is the responsibility of the parents to form their child for good reasons.

The child must be formed well – for a child is considered a sign of hope. Having

hope, Marcel wants men to acknowledge the existence of a Divine Father. The

Divine Father, as the Creator of all things, unites couples during their marriage.

The Divine Father’s guidance is implored to help in the formation of the family

because this process needs a higher power and He is the only one who is higher

than men.

He also highlighted many important points that can help people see the

mystery of the family. The Filipino families need these adjurations to be able to

be guided accordingly and influence others to live and have an appropriate vision

on how to live – for everyone carries an emblem of hope. Marcel envisages a

family which ties will last and sooner will not be untied because of having a

strong foundation and proper knowledge. One cannot think of family as a mystery

if one can untie it anytime. Marcel wants every family to have ties that last.

This paper presents a re-appropriation of Gabriel Marcel’s The Mystery of

the Family in the Filipino context. The urgency for every Filipino, as the mystery

of the Filipino families exists, is to be aware that the families need to start

realizing the most important values in life which were forgotten due to the

modernization and occurrences throughout history. The need for the proper

formation of the family must be realized.

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The Filipino family is envisioned by many as a traditional one but with the

rise of modernization, one must be concerned about the proper formation of the

Filipino family because this idea has been slowly forgotten. The discussion above

focuses on how Gabriel Marcel’s The Mystery of the Family can help

understand and address the challenges of the Filipino family in today’s

situation. Thus, this study focuses on how Marcel’s essay can help the Filipino

family to realize the significance of one’s family. As the researcher tries to use

Marcel’s essay to show the importance of the family, the readers of this paper

must also be receptive and try to evaluate the message that the researcher tries to

convey. Thus, this study aims to answer the following questions:

1) What are the Traditional Filipino family values?

2) What are the challenges, which modernization engendered, that paved

way and affected the traditional values of the Filipino family?

3) What is Marcel’s perception of the family in his lecture The Mystery of

the Family?

4) How can Marcel’s The Mystery of the Family help reinforce and

unravel the challenges of the Filipino family in today’s situation?

This paper delves primarily on Marcel’s The Mystery of the Family and its

relevance to Filipino families. It is essential to all Filipino families so that they

can understand and be aware of the family’s importance because everyone

belongs to a family. This study is relevant to students, teachers and other

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professionals who want to pursue further studies about family. This is mostly

important to the parents because theirs is the main duty to raise their children and

properly form them to be good social beings.

Moreover, the researcher tries to impart to the readers what Marcel

envisions. In line with this, the researcher also wants to give a philosophical

perspective on the points of Marcel that are needed to be pondered on the current

situation of Filipino families.

The researcher presents an eye-opener for student-readers of this paper to

help them to realize the realities of the present time. Also, the researcher wants to

show to the readers different lenses to be used in facing certain family issues. The

research aims to show a glimpse of the background of the traditional values of

Filipino families and the effects of modernization to them. It will also express

how Gabriel Marcel’s The Mystery of the Family can give light to the different

modern day situations of the Filipino family.

In addition, the study only explicates Gabriel Marcel’s lecture entitled The

Mystery of the Family which is taken from his book Homo Viator: An

Introduction to a Metaphysic of Hope. The researcher discusses some key

concepts of Marcel such as mystery, disponiblité and creative fidelity which can

be found from his books Mystery of Being, Creative Fidelity and Being and

Having. Moreover, an analysis is made on how Marcel’s lecture will give light to
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the current situation of the Filipino families. As the study progresses, the

researcher re-appropriates Marcel’s thought to the Filipino families only. Lastly,

the research tackled on the biological family.

Review of Related Literature

The Philosophy of Gabriel Marcel

Gabriel- Honoré Marcel, a French philosopher, was born on December 7,

1889 in Paris, France. Gabriel was the only child of Henri and Laure Marcel.

However, his mother died when he was 4 years old. With this, Gabriel was raised

by his aunt and later his father remarried his aunt. Brendan Sweetman, an Irish

philosopher who focuses on areas such as philosophy of religion, contemporary

European philosophy, and political philosophy and a specialist on the work of

French philosopher, Gabriel Marcel, said:

Marcel had little religious upbringing but received an excellent education,

studying philosophy at the Sorbonne and passing an agrégation (competitive
examination) in 1910 that qualified him to teach in secondary schools.
Although he produced a stream of philosophical and dramatic works (he wrote
more than 30 plays), as well as shorter pieces in reviews and periodicals,
Marcel never completed a doctoral dissertation and never held a formal
position as a professor, instead working mostly as a lecturer, writer, and critic.
He also developed a keen interest in classical music and composed a number
of pieces. 12

Furthermore, Marcel’s philosophical style is phenomenology. He used life

experiences in order to uncover truths about the human condition.13 With this, his

12
Brendan Sweetman, “Gabriel Marcel,” in Britannica Encyclopaedia,
https://www.britannica.com/biography/Gabriel-Honore-Marcel, retrieved on March 5, 2018.
13
See Ibid.
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early works were written in a diary format. Moreover, his works are mostly

autobiographical because he believed that philosophy is as much a personal quest

as a disinterested impersonal search for objective truth.14 In Marcel’s view,

philosophical questions involve the questioner which he believed was lost in the

contemporary thinking.

After looking at his early experiences, his concepts and way of

philosophizing developed greatly. The book The Philosophy of Gabriel Marcel is

a book written by Kenneth Gallagher. This book was written with the aim that it

would send the reader back to the original works in all their non-expoundable

concreteness.15 As Gallagher states: “A system is a spectacle which is there for a

disengaged mind, a mind which is not itself' enclosed within the panorama it

beholds. For the human subject such a disengagement is unthinkable.” 16 This

statement shows that to understand one’s line of thought, one must be ready to be

immersed in the experiences and thoughts of the thinker.

Gallagher had a comprehensive explication on the main points of Marcel’s

thoughts in this book. More importantly, he was able to expound the most famous

concepts of Marcel which are Problem and Mystery, Ontological Exigence and

other important ideas. In the book, he was able to explain the distinction between

Marcel’s notions on problem and mystery. Gallagher states that the problem
14
See Ibid.
15
Kenneth Gallagher, The Philosophy of Gabriel Marcel, (New York: Fordham
University Press, 1962), x.
16
Ibid., 13.
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views the object as something that is detached from the self. Thus, the object is

external from the self. As he explains: "A problem...is an inquiry which is set on

foot in respect to an object which the self apprehends in an exterior way." 17 On

the other hand, mystery is something that involves the self. The object is not

exterior from the self. As Gallagher states: "A mystery is a question in which I am

caught up.”18 Catherine R. Cowell simplified this in her aricle Communication-

Problem or Mystery?: An Interpretation of the Philosophy of Gabriel Marcel by

summarizing the four distinctions: 1. While the problem can be objectified, the

mystery is not; 2. The problem has a solution, on the other hand the mystery’s

solution has not been found; 3. The problem varies with its viewer’s experiences

due to its objectivity, meanwhile the viewer’s experience with mystery is

subjective and is not interchangeable; 4. Problems are sought out of curiosity,

while mysteries are asked out of mood or wonderment.19

The notion of mystery is very important for it will be used in this paper.

Moreover, Gallagher’s book was able to have an inclusive exposition on Marcel’s

thoughts. His explication on ontological exigency emphasizes that the human

person has as part of its structure that has a need for being, a need to develop the

inner life of the spirit in creativity and freedom, including in its ethical

17
Ibid., 31.
18
Ibid., 32.
19
See Catherine Cowell, Communication-Problem or Mystery?: An Interpretation of the
Philosophy of Gabriel Marcel, (San Antonio, Texas, 1972), 3-4. This article was downloaded
from the World Wide Web.
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dimensions.20 To further explain, Sweetman said that ontological exigency is not

merely a form of wishful thinking but is an “interior urge” that offers the human

person an “ontological hope” in the ultimate rationality and meaningfulness of

reality amidst the broken world.21

Gallagher was successful in elucidating Gabriel Marcel’s philosophy. This

book can be of help to future readers of Gabriel Marcel. One can see the very

system of Marcel which is phenomenology and existentialism. However, his

distinction between problem and mystery will be the things to be further discussed

in this study. After a life of contributing to philosophy, Gabriel- Honoré Marcel

died on October 8, 1973 at Paris, France.

Gabriel Marcel’s philosophy has many terms in which he was known for.

Some terms are mystery, creative fidelity, ontological exigence, disponibilité, and

primary and secondary reflection. However, in all of these terms mystery has

always been one of the most discussed topic. Catherine R. Cowell says, “One of

the central issues in the philosophy of Gabriel Marcel is the distinction he makes

between the terms ’problem’ and ‘mystery’.”22

In her paper, Communication-Problem or Mystery?: An Interpretation of

the Philosophy of Gabriel Marcel, Cowell discussed the distinction between

20
See Sweetman, “Gabriel Marcel.”
21
Ibid.
22
Cowell, Communication-Problem or Mystery?: An Interpretation of the Philosophy of
Gabriel Marcel, 2.
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24

Marcel’s notion on problem and mystery. She delved into this so that she can

apply it on the discussion regarding communication. She states:

In the context of the problem, the object is viewed as something external to

the observer, something encountered as outside and over against the self.
Gallagher explains, "A problem...is an inquiry which is set on foot in respect
to an object which the self apprehends in an exterior way." In a mystery,
however, what is given cannot be detached from the self Being non-
externalizable, the mysterious is indefinable. "A mystery is a question in
which I am caught up."23

Cowell emphasized that, for Marcel, the problem is something which is

external of the self. On the other hand, mystery is something which is not outside

of the self. It always involves the subject. With this, Cowell analyzed the

discussion on Marcel's analysis of communication as a facet of man's participation

in existence. Communication is a medium for people to engage with each other’s

thoughts. However, the question is if communication is grounded on objectivity

or subjectivity. Cowell stated that by studying the distinction between Marcel’s

notion of problem and mystery, one can lead to the conclusion of Marcel. She

states, “For Marcel, however, it appears that the nature of communication is

essentially subjective, which laces it in the realm of mystery and therefore out of

the reach of objective methods of investigation.”24 She adds:

For Marcel, the experience of Communion--for which his term is "encounter"-

-is constitutive of the self. To remain in an ego-Centered mode of existence is
to be only partially alive, is to refuse authenticity. 25

23
Ibid., 3.
24
Ibid.,2.
25
Ibid., 11.
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25

This statement from Cowell indicates that to communicate and commune

with others is to be involved in a community which can only be achieved, as

Marcel states, through mystery. With this, Cowell adds that the best way to

communicate with others is through disponibilité. She states, “The efficient cause

of Communion is its mode; and for this mode of openness to the other, Marcel

uses the term ‘disponibilite’.”26

Disponibilité, for Marcel, is availability. Having said this, an individual

must have the readiness to bestow and spend oneself and make oneself available

to others. Cowell concludes her article by asking more questions about the

possibility of using Marcel’s philosophy on communication. She even states:

According to Marcel, the nexus of this series of acts we commonly call

communication is located in "the act by which I expose myself to the other
person instead of protecting myself from him, which makes him penetrable for
me at the same time as I become penetrable for him." But the act itself is
necessarily obscure. 27

This conclusion both offered a solution and a question to the readers.

However, if one wants to look at the article as a help to better understand

Marcel’s philosophy and the possibility of using it to understand communication,

it can be of help.

26
Ibid., 11.
27
Ibid., 13.
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26

Articles on Gabriel Marcel on the Family

The way people view family was changed by the effects that

modernization has produced. The Western influence paved way to the

engenderment of new morals in the Oriental society. Asia, as the largest

continent, has maintained a traditional way of looking at the families in its area.

However, with this, the encounter of the Western and Asian culture challenged

the Asian families. For this reason, Manuel B. Dy, Jr., emphasized in his article,

Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the Asian

Context, that there must be a way to look at the situation of the Asian families. Dy

states:

Such an encounter can be problematic for both the individual and society, and
thus calls for a critical re-examination of the value of the family vis-à-vis the
changes brought about by modernization. 28

With this in mind, Dy used Gabriel Marcel’s study on the family to offer a

way of facing the problems of modernization in a new light. He discussed three

Asian family values that were greatly affected by modernization namely:

solidarity in the family, religiosity and respect for authority accorded to elders and

the personal care and affection for the aged.

In the article, Dy cited the reasons on how modernization affected the

traditional Asian family values. He cited the separation of labor from dwelling

place, secularization, professionalization of education and poverty. With this, he

28
Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the Asian
Context,” 69.
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27

directs one to Marcel’s notion of the family. He states: “Marcel’s notion of the

family as a mystery brings us back to the inherent value of the family. It is in the

family that we experience pride, which is another way of saying that we are loved,

that we are valuable.”29 For this reason, it is a need to recover the value of the

family to have a good moral life which is inherent in the society. Moreover, he

points out that the Asian families must go back to their close family ties and

becoming responsible beings to one another. It is also important to have creative

fidelity in the family to be accountable to the lineage that one is in.

Lastly, Dy points out that the family is a mystery of hope in which each

member of the family points out to the holy character of the family. As he ends

his article by saying, “Ultimately the family in its journey through life can only be

creatively faithful when we entrust ourselves unconditionally as a family, as us, in

the hands of the Divine Father.”30

Moreover, Manuel Dy, Jr. compiled lectures about social philosophy

entitled Contemporary Social Philosophy. He published this book as a textbook

for his Social Philosophy students. This book has the second chapter entitled

Studies on the Family written by Antonette Palma-Angeles.

In her article, she used Marcel’s approach in his work The Mystery of the

Family. As Palma-Angeles states, “To tackle the mystery of the family, therefore,

29
Ibid., 78.
30
Ibid., 79.
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28

is less an attempt to solve the problem of defining this constellation as much as it

is an attempt to simply bring the reality of family to human awareness.” 31 In the

article, Palma-Angeles tackled the evolution of the Filipino family from its

patriarchal structure towards a personalistic family. In addition to, she discussed

the suprafunctional reality of the family today which is its togetherness. This

togetherness will allow the family to satisfy its fundamental functions in the

society, namely: the creation of community of life ruled by intimacy, love and

familiarity; the transition of human values by means of education and training;

and the satisfaction of certain material needs.32

Apart from this, she emphasizes that the family must both form the

individuals and must be responsible individuals in the society. The members of

the family must not only have a fidelity in their own families. Rather, they must

also be faithful to their responsibilities in the society. With this, the family must

be strong and believe in the supernatural order in order to be guided properly. As

she concludes:

The best of people have failed in their responsibilities to each other because of
one or two moments of weakness. Despite their love. The truly sacred
character of the family, therefore, is seen only in hope in the supernatural
order. In the face of laws, structures, institutions and people who are not
necessarily supportive of the family, the survival of the family is no longer
simply a human task. It is a matter of divine grace. Of divine love. And human
hope.33

31
Antonette Palma-Angeles, “Studies on the Family,” in Contemporary Social
Philosophy, ed. Manuel Dy, Jr., (Quezon City: JMC Press Inc., 1994), 10.
32
Ibid., 16.
33
Ibid., 17.
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29

The Filipino Family

The family has always been one of the most relevant topics in the society.

Different luminaries from different fields of study tackled different issues

regarding the family. In Belen Medina’s book entitled The Filipino Family, she

provided a sociological study on the Filipino family which analyzed the social

phenomena that the family underwent throughout the years. It was shown in the

book that the different structures that the traditional Filipino family has, were

affected by modernization. However, Medina tries to accentuate that the family

may be undergoing changes to fit new conditions but it remains to be a basic

institution of the society. 34

In addition to, the book was written by Medina to provide a

comprehensive text on the sociology of the family applied to the Philippine

setting.35 She points out that the family is very important to the Filipinos. The

very essence of being in a family for a Filipino is very high for it demands loyalty

and high interest. Medina, in her book, enumerated the concepts of organizations

of the Filipino family. She illustrated the importance of the nuclear family of the

husband, wife and children, and the bilaterally extended family which includes

34
Belen Medina, The Filipino Family, (Quezon City: University of the Philippines Press,
2001), 2.
35
Ibid., 7.
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30

both the families of the husband and wife.36 Moreover, she emphasized the

closeness of each member of the family even to their ancestors or distant relatives.

Also, Medina discussed the importance of the family in the society. She

said, “Through its socialization function, the family plays an important role in the

transmission of cultural values, beliefs, and customs; in the molding of the

personality and character of its members; and in insuring conformity to norms.” 37

After discussing the role of the family, she discussed the courtship and marriage

patterns, mate selection, roles of the couple, the value of children and the

importance of the elders in the Filipino family.

The most vital part of the book is Medina’s explication on the effects of

social change and the family. She mentioned that modernization has affected the

traditional facet of the Filipino family. She looked at this issue by citing that

modernization has this comprehensive effect in the society. Both industrialization

and urbanization are proponents of the change of landscape in the Filipino family.

She stated that the Filipino society is in transition from a traditional-oriented

kinship-dominated type to one which is modern-industrial, oriented to rational

norms and values.38

Medina also states that modernization changed the perspective of the

Filipinos when it comes to mate selection, marriages, roles of the couples and
36
Ibid., 41.
37
Ibid., 71.
38
Ibid., 276.
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31

norms in the family. Thus, Medina was able to show the transition that the

Filipino underwent from its traditional roots to the modern outlook that it has

today.

On the other hand, Jose Nolledo’s The Family Code Annotated is a book

that explains the Family Code in the Philippines that was promulgated in the 1987

Constitution. Nolledo wrote this book so that those who wish to study law and

those who are interested with the document will understand the Family Code of

Philippines more simply. In the book, Nolledo showed the implications of the

Family Code of the Philippines. He was able to make the readers understand the

text very well by conveying the message on the ground level. This book is very

important to those who want to study the laws that pertains to the family in the

Philippines.

Dr. Belen T.G. Medina and Dr. Florentino Timbreza are one of the most

well-known Filipino researchers and academicians who wrote books regarding

their studies on the Filipino family. With this, Gregor Alfonsin Pondoyo wrote a

synthesis paper on the books of the two authors entitled The Filipino Family and

Filipino Values: A Synthesis Paper on the books by Dr. Belen T. G. Medina, PhD

& Dr. Florentino T. Timbreza, PhD.

Pondoyo studied the two books by comparing and contrasting the ideas of

the two great Filipino minds. He drew out the Filipino family structures and
 UNIVERSITY OF SANTO TOMAS FACULTY OF ARTS AND LETTERS PAGE
32

characteristics. He pointed out in his paper that changes in the society also

changed the way people respond in different situations. With this, the Filipino

family is also affected. This is very important because the family is the link of the

individual to the society. He states, “…the family is understood to provide

continuity of social life. It is a major agent in the transmission of culture which

also affects &/or reflects the culture of the society.” 39

In the paper, he pointed out the traditional facet of the Filipino family and

the changes that it underwent. Pondoyo concludes in his paper that change is

constant and the family is not immune to it. 40 These changes urge one to also

come up with the new facet of the society. For this reason, Pondoyo urges one to

reflect and ponder on these changes. He accentuates that one must remember that

these changes in the society must be of help for the betterment of each person.

Also, he reminded each person to relive the traditional values of the Filipinos. He

states:

Although many forces outside the family is affecting it, it has still for the most
part remained as it is among Filipinos – the most important area to be
successful. Ties or solidarity with each other are very much seen during
calamities & problems. Bayanihan (helping each other in the community like
in the transferring of homes) although is slowly fading in general, we can still
observe concern during times of illness or celebration during times of triumph
among Filipino families.41

39
Gregor Alfonsin Pondoyo, “The Filipino Family and Filipino Values: A Synthesis
Paper on the books by Dr. Belen T.G. Medina, PhD & Dr. Florentino T. Timebrezam PhD.,” in
The Filipino Family, 2011, https://www.scribd.com/doc/74642455/The-Filipino-Family, retrieved
on August 13, 2018.
40
Ibid.
41
Ibid.
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33

Thus, it is important for each Filipino, even though challenged by the

changes in the society, to still go back to their values in order to survive the

different challenges of the times.

Ramon A. Tagle Jr. wrote a treatise on marriage and family entitled

Towards a Responsible Parenthood and Family Life. The book is very

informative as it tries to illuminate the readers on how the marriage partners can

be of help to the matrimonial institution and how they can build their relationship.

In the book, Tagle points out:

There are many primary groups, but the most fundamental and the most
important is thehuman family. It is within the family that our basic human
capacities are formed. It is within the family that personality, character,
emotions, sexuality, attitudes, values and opinions are formed. 42

He pointed out that the family is very important for the Filipinos. For this

reason, he provided a critical analysis on marriage. Tagle was able to engender

ideas that can be applicable even to today’s couples. These ideas are of help to

couples in order to provide a good foundation on their families.

Views and Values on Family among Filipinos: An Empirical Exploration

explicates that the values which Filipinos acquire from their families are very vital

in their lives. The Filipino family is often characterized by the values and qualities

that usually portray the Filipino family. While no one single value is

representative of the common family values of the Filipino, the distinct ones that

42
Ramon Tagle Jr., Towards a Responsible Parenthood and Family Life, (S.C.C.
Development & Research Foundation, 1981), 31.
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34

seem shared by most are: family-centeredness, being child-centric, having close

ties characterised by reciprocity, and large family size. 43

With this, Hannah Morillo, Joseph Capuno and Amado Mendoza, Jr. made

a study regarding the Filipino family values. Their study aimed to explore the

correlates of views on family values among Filipinos, specifically those

concerning the traditional nuclear family set-up, the woman's roles within family,

and the reciprocal relationship of the parent and child.44 The authors stated that

this study is relevant because values guide behaviors, which can gauge cultural

distinctions among groups of people, nations, or individuals. 45 They discovered

that Filipinos generally share values which they acquired from their families.

However, the views of the Filipinos differ across educational attainment,

geographic location, social class, and ethnic groups.

In their study, they used survey datasets assembled for 1996 and 2001 to

showcase the comparison for the evolving Filipino values. They traced the

formation for the values in each Filipino from their families. This idea is reflected

in the society as well. The authors stated, “The kinship structure that is translated

outside the family reinforces the basic relational functions of the individual where

43
See Hannah Morillo, Capuno and Mendoza, “Views and Values on Family among
Filipinos: An Empirical Exploration,” in Asian Journal Science 41, ed. Department of Sociology,
(Singapore: National University of Singapore, 2013), 6.
44
Ibid., 5.
45
Ibid., 5.
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35

societal norms can also be perceived as being rooted in the family.” 46 With this,

the researchers came up with:

The family values we investigated here reflect some traditional and non-
traditional Filipino perspectives on living arrangements and family
composition. We find that the most shared value among various groups is that
both parents are critical to child rearing. 47

This discovery led to further results which led them to the correlations of

different factors to the evolution of the Filipino values. These factors were gender,

educational attainment, government policies, education policies, location,

ethnicity, religion and migration. The researchers conclude:

Lastly, the evidence presented in this study also sheds light on the importance
of accepting that there are evolving family values in the Philippines. It
provides the evidence to reconsider notions of mere nominal attributions of
the family (traditional or modern, complete or otherwise, among others) and
towards an emphasis on the importance of the functional roles of each
member and the current dynamics that are evident along with global demands,
influences, and changes. As with the case of international migration, this study
places implications on the changing and/or upheld views and values based on
temporal factors.48

Moreover, the researchers stated that their study can still be open to more

question regarding the Filipino family and values. They ended their study by

recommending and saying, “Having identified the sources of variations, the next

research question then is to explore the exact causal relations between these

sources and the views on family values.”49

46
Ibid., 7.
47
Ibid., 24.
48
Ibid., 25.
49
Ibid., 26.
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36

As the Filipino family faces many changes today, one cannot deny that

these changes have an impact to the family. In the book entitled The Filipino

Family surviving the World, Ma. Lourdes A. Carandang and Queena N. Lee-Chua

discussed the effects of the changes to the family and how they can cope up to go

back to its traditional character. As they say, “With the speedy and sudden

changes occurring in the society today, the Filipino family needs to be more

resilient and stronger than ever.”50

Carandang and Lee-Chua discussed in their book the social changes that

affected the Filipino family. They showed the difference between the traditional

Filipino family and the western influence. They emphasized the need for moral

regeneration in the society, which starts with the family. 51 Moreover, they

discussed on how one must help in forming an individual from their early stage –

which is childhood. In their book, they also tackled how one must give

importance to the family and the proper response that they must take in this

situation. With this, they accentuate, “The foundation of each person is a positive

sense of self-worth, grounded in a purposeful and correctly driven life.” 52 Thus,

the individual must always go back to its roots – family.

Custodiosa Sanchez and Rey Sanchez wrote the book Human Sexuality,

Family Planning, and Responsible Parenthood to discuss certain topics regarding

50
Ma. Lourdes Carandang and Queena Lee-Chua, The Filipino Family Surviving the
World, (Manila: Anvil Publishing House Inc., 2008), ix.
51
Ibid., ix.
52
Ibid., ix.
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37

the Filipino Family. The first part of the book mainly discussed human sexuality

and love. They also discussed on the book homosexuality in today’s world. They

discussed the aspects which result to love and marriage. They discussed in the

book the types of marriage and annulment. Moreover, the important part of the

book is the discussion on the family and responsible parenthood. They stated that

the Filipino family is very important in the society. They emphasize:

Like any other ordinary family all over the world, the Filipino family plays a
unique role for the child as it gives him affection, care, attention, protection,
and engenders in him a sense of belonging or security. The Filipino family is
an institution of security which protects its members from exigencies of
living.53

Thus, the Filipino family takes care of its members and helps the society

be better. Sanchez and Sanchez want to inculcate to the Filipino people that they

must give importance to their families. They accentuate that the Filipino family

must not be affected by the different aspects of life. The Filipino family must be

fortified and focused on helping the children in the family be better individuals.

This is because, as the authors state, it through the family that the society is able

to direct from the individual one’s necessary contribution.54

Elements of Filipino Ethics is a book that discusses an application of

Filipino ethical principles in one’s everyday life to solve ethical issues. This book

prioritizes Filipino Values in solving ethical issues. Leonardo Mercado wrote this

53
Custodiosa Sanchez and Rey Sanchez, Human Sexuality, Family Planning, and
Responsible Parenthood, (Mandaluyong City: National Bookstore, 2004), 102.
54
Ibid., 102.
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38

book to further understand the problems in the society by looking at the

perspective of a Filipino. This means that Filipino values is of big help to the

problems in the society today. In Chapter 7, Marriage and the Family, Mercado

discussed the Filipino Ethical Elements that can be applied to certain situations

such as equality and marriage, children and marriage, and ethical consequences.

Tony La Viña wrote an article in his column entitled The mystery of the

family. He accentuated in his article the importance of the family and how it must

stay strong all throughout. In his article, he links Gabriel Marcel’s essay entitled

The Mystery of the Family and the image of a Holy Family. He used this image

because he wrote this article on Christmas season. He states, “The mystery of the

family is unlocked by the example of the Holy Family. There is something in

God’s choice for His plan of salvation of this particular family in the remote

village of Bethlehem.”55 He suggested that one must follow the Holy Family in

order to engender a family which will help the society improve. He adds, “But in

all this simplicity Jesus was born to a family which epitomized holiness and

devotion to God the Father. This should be the model of the highest virtues that

every family should aspire for.”56

Moreover, La Viña accentuates that everyone must not only follow what

the church is teaching during Christmas season. One must not limit the essence of
55
Tony La Viña, “The mystery of the family,” in The Manila Standard, December 27,
2014, http://manilastandard.net/opinion/columns/eagle-eyes-by-tony-la-vina/166684/the-mystery-
of-the-family.html, retrieved on January 1, 2017.
56
Ibid.
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39

the teachings that one can draw from the scriptures during Christmas season. The

lessons that one acquires must transcend the Christmas season and live in every

person’s minds and hearts forever. He ends his article by reminding each people

to imbibe the values and virtues that they learn. As he concludes by saying:

Raising a family can be extra challenging these days. This the Mother Church
recognizes when it held the recently concluded Extraordinary Synod on
Families which was dedicated to address the challenges of marriage, of family
life, of the education of children; and the role of the family in the life of the
church. This Synodal Assembly will be followed by the ordinary assembly,
which will also have the family as its theme and in September 2015 there will
also be the world meeting of families. In the midst of this, we can all learn
from the Holy Family; its simplicity, devotion to the will of the Father, love
and harmony. Advent, the Supreme Pontiff said, is a time of prayerful
expectation for the Lord’s coming, and it invites each person to think about
how the family, God’s gift since the beginning of creation, is honored and
confirmed through Christ’s incarnation.57

Randy David, a famous Filipino columnist, wrote an article entitled

Modernity and the Filipino Child. This article focuses on how modernity affected

the role of the child both in the family and in the society. He started his article by

comparing the two facets of the Filipino child. First, he presents:

In traditional society, the status of the child is determined by the social

position of the family from which she is sprung. Indeed, parents “own” their
children, a fact that proceeds from the family’s basic role as an economic unit.
The state recognizes this, and defers to the primordial authority of parents
over their children. 58

On the other hand, he describes the modern facet as:

The modern family, in contrast, sheds off its economic function. And with the
spread of public education, it also loses a good part of its educational function.
The State assumes the formal obligation to protect and ensure the growth of

57
Ibid.
58
Randy David, “Modernity and the Filipino Child,” in Philippine Daily Inquirer,
December 28, 2014, http://opinion.inquirer.net/81285/modernity-and-the-filipino-
child#ixzz4VQur7dVf, retrieved on November 20, 2016.
 UNIVERSITY OF SANTO TOMAS FACULTY OF ARTS AND LETTERS PAGE
40

every child, conferring upon them all those rights that are beautifully laid out
in the modern document we call the United Nations Convention on the Rights
of the Child.59

David showed that the traditional facet and modern facet differ from each

other. The changes in the society is never smooth. He emphasized that the

Filipino are not ready for the social changes. He adds, “All too often, the family

finds itself reacting to the myriad pressures of poverty by taking out its

frustrations on its most vulnerable members—the women and the children.”60

Moreover, he stated that there are many threats and challenges that the modern

child faces. He adds:

Modernity interrupts this cycle by introducing the child early to a world larger
than the household—a world where she learns to respect the needs and rights
of other children, a world where other roles are possible apart from those
conferred by the family. Many traditional families will regard these
encounters jealously, seeing in them a threat to parental authority. That is why
they may often view the school—the teachers or the peer group—as a source
of bad influence.61

The modern approach is really a deviation from the traditional roots. He

suggests that the child faces many challenges in the modern society such as

corporal punishment, verbal abuse, child labor, child trafficking, sexual abuse,

child soldiering, recruitment into criminal syndicates, etc.62 For this reason, David

asks for an awareness and response from today’s society. Every person must have

a contribution to respond to these challenges that the child and the society faces.

59
Ibid.
60
Ibid.
61
Ibid.
62
Ibid.
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41

He concludes his article by motivating each person to take care of the youth for

they will be the future of the society. He concludes by saying:

Older societies in the modern world have graying populations, unable to

motivate their young people to get married, settle down and have children. In
contrast, wherever we go in these beautiful islands, children at once surround
us, their spontaneous smiles masking the burdens they carry on their young
shoulders. We can’t imagine what a boon that is. Our young population is
what keeps our society dynamic and alive, while other nations have long gone
into retirement mode.63

Methodology

The study utilizes an exposition and application method of research.

Expository writing is designed to explain a topic. It often gives fact, explain ideas

or defines conditions. Whether it is giving directions or explaining how to

accomplish something it provides the reader with deeper insights into a subject.

With this type of informative writing, ideas are presented in a certain order so that

the reader can follow the explanation easily. 64 In the exposition, the research

presents and exposes Gabriel Marcel’s The Mystery of the Family simplify

Marcel’s points to the readers. Also, to aid the exposition, is the analysis on the

current situation of the Filipino family. Moreover, the researcher applies Marcel’s

points to the context of the Filipinos. The study flows through the following:

Chapter two exposes the image of Filipino families through the years. It

gives the readers an overview of the Filipino families from its humble beginnings

63
Ibid.
64
See Frances Hubbard, Writing to Inform, (New York: The Rosen Publishing Group.,
Inc., 2012), 8.
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42

to present. It also shows the traditional values of the Filipino families and how

modernity had affected the Filipino families. It shows the values that characterize

the traditional Filipino family. These are the values that made the Filipino family

noteworthy. The discussion also focuses on the social changes that affected the

family. Lastly, the issues on marriage, fidelity and the child in the Filipino family

setting, both from traditional Filipino family and modern Filipino family, are seen

in this chapter.

Chapter three presents an exposition of Gabriel Marcel’s The Mystery of

the Family, from his book Homo Viator. It discusses the concept and perception

of Marcel on the family. This chapter shows Marcel’s approach on the family

which emphasizes that the family must not be dealt as a problem rather as a

mystery. Moreover, it shows how Marcel envisages the family. The different

issues that the family can encounter are also explicated by Marcel which is why

they were also properly discussed in this chapter. It will also unveil Marcel’s

notion on marriage, fidelity and the child. Also, Marcel’s notion on the distinction

between problem and mystery and concepts of creative fidelity and disponibilité

are also discussed in this chapter.

Chapter four is a re-appropriation of Marcel’s the Mystery of the Family

into the Filipino family. It presents the current situations of the Filipino families

while it also distinguishes what are problematic on Filipino families. It also

presents the crucial part of the study – the relevance of Gabriel Marcel’s The
 UNIVERSITY OF SANTO TOMAS FACULTY OF ARTS AND LETTERS PAGE
43

Mystery of the Family in the Filipino context. This chapter shows how Marcel can

be of help to the Filipinos by applying his thoughts in the Filipino context. Issues

on marriage, fidelity and the child are dealt, in this chapter, using Marcel’s ideas.

Finally, Chapter five presents the summary, conclusion and recommendations of

the researcher.
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CHAPTER 2

The Filipino Family in the Modern Times

Introduction

The Filipino family is known for its high value of family. The importance

of the family to Filipinos shows that “it is as if to be a member of a family is a

Filipino’s most striking quality.” 65 This statement shows that Filipinos truly value

their family in a deeper sense. They feel special and ‘at home’ when they know

that they are a member of a family. Niels Mulder adds:

Before anything else, the family commands the Filipino’s loyalty and is
considered to be the wellspring of a meaningful existence, of identity and
fulfilment. Sanctified by religious representations and ritual, the household-
centered, often multigenerational, nuclear family is inviolable and relatively
autonomous.66

The family is not only being given importance by the Filipinos because

they are simply a member of such. They give importance to the family because it

was enriched by tradition and history through the different factors which

contributed to how the Filipinos value and perceive family today. Ramon Tagle

Jr. says:

There are many primary groups, but the most fundamental and the most
important is the human family. It is within the family that our basic human

65
Niels Mulder, Inside Philippine Society: Interpretations of Everyday Life, (Quezon
City: New Day Publishers, 1997), 21.
66
Ibid., 37.
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45

capacities are formed. It is within the family that personality, character,

emotions, sexuality, attitudes, values and opinions are formed. 67

This importance of the family to the Filipinos shows how tradition and

culture greatly affected the development of this idea. Deepening the

understanding of this, one can look on the fact that the Filipino family contains

traditional values that makes it exceptional. These values shape the image of the

Filipino family that have been concretized through the years. In line with this, this

chapter will show and explicate the traditional Filipino family values and the

challenges that these values faced which modernization engendered. Moreover,

this chapter will also discuss the modern day Filipino family.

Traditional Filipino Family Values

In the discussion of traditional Filipino family values, one may also look

into the values of countries around Asia in general. These values show a great

resemblance on the Filipino family values as well. Manuel Dy, Jr. cites four

important values in the Asian traditional family which are also evident in the

Filipino family. The first value that Dy points out is the value of solidarity in the

family. He says:

The Asian family is characterized by strong and close family ties. It is in the
family that the individual feels less alone and helpless in coping with life’s
challenges. The family looks after the welfare of the individual members; its
unity offers financial, social, and emotional support, not because one is
deserving but simple because “one is family.” This security stems not from

67
Tagle, Towards a Responsible Parenthood and Family Life, 31.
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46

independence but from interdependence. Acceptance and harmony

characterize this interdependence in the traditional Asian family. 68

Dy explains here that “the family members accept each other, get along

with each other, are sensitive to each other’s feelings, and settle their conflicts not

by confrontation but by submission to authority.” 69 This solidarity characterized

by Asian families is also evident to the Filipino families. This idea is reinforced

by Patricia Licuanan by saying:

To the Filipino, one’s family is the source of personal identity, the source of
emotional and material support, and one’s main commitment and
responsibility . . . . This sense of family results in a feeling of belonging and
rootedness and in a basic sense of security. 70

These ideas of belongingness, rootedness and identity, emotional support

and security, are all located in deeply-felt relationships. This presupposes that the

close family ties of the Filipino family is a deeply-felt relationship. To reinforce

this, Mulder further explains that “The high emotional charge of these ties may

lead to the ideas of identity-sharing, of direct participation in each other’s loob

(inner being), and thus, to the widespread idea that people who are near and dear

to each other easily empathize.”71 The close family ties is a positive attribute of

the Filipino family. This leads to solidarity of each member of the family. This

68
Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the Asian
Context,” 68.
69
Ibid., 69.
70
Patricia Licuanan, A Moral Recovery Program: Building a People – Building a Nation,
2016, http://ourhappyschool.com/esp-values-education/moral-recovery-program-building-people-
building-nation-patricia-licuanan, retrieved on September 16, 2018.
71
Mulder, Inside Philippine Society: Interpretations of Everyday Life, 21.
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47

intensifies the experience of a member of the family as being a member of a

closed group rather than as a separate individual. Moreover, Mulder states:

When we say that we Filipinos value close family ties, what we may be saying
actually is that we value closed family ties. For many of us are just that –
closed concerns that do not directly involve our parents, children, brothers,
sisters, grandparents, grandchildren, or close kin. We will move mountains to
provide our family with only the best. But how many of us are moved by,
much less respond to, plight of our fellow Filipinos?72

This statement clearly shows the high regard of the Filipinos to their

family regarding close family ties. It has been part of their tradition and nature to

have this affection toward each member of their family. Solidarity, which close

family ties resulted, is already inculcated to each Filipino and remained in their

culture. This is why Filipinos highly value the presence of their families more

than anything. Regardless of the liberal influence they have gotten from the west,

the family remained the basic unit of their society. This trait clearly shows among

Filipinos abroad who suffer homesickness and tough work just to support their

families back home in the Philippines.

The solidarity of Asian families, which is evident also to Filipino families,

is rooted in their deep religiosity. Jose Nolledo explicates that “the close family

ties that bind the people and adherence by a great number of Filipinos to Christian

tenets justify the above constitutional and statutory rules.” 73 This religiosity is

explained by Dy in the second value that he points out. He says:

72
Ibid., 103.
73
Jose Nolledo, The Family Code Annotated, (Manila: Rex Bookstore, 1988), 114.
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The bond that unites the members of the traditional family is not simply the
common enterprise or dwelling, but also the common belief in the
transcendent embodied in the family religious rituals. Religiosity is inculcated
in the home and serves as an effective binding force within the family, and
between families in a given society. It is in the family that one learns about
God or Allah or the Source and End of existence. It is in the home that one
learns the Absolute or Ultimate is what makes up one’s culture, one’s way of
being. 74

The religiosity of the Filipino family greatly contributed to the way of life

of the Filipinos. This religious mentality that prevails promotes a way of life that

is focused on the family and the life world. Mulder describes this predominant

religious mentality “as a positive mentality guiding family life.” 75 He further says,

“Religion idealizes, legitimizes and sanctifies familial relationships. Its symbols

strengthen and express the private and morally binding realm of life.” 76 This way

of life of the Filipino family, which religiosity plays a great role, is because of the

influence of the Holy Family – Joseph, Mary and Jesus – to them. Mulder states:

The intimacy with a holy family consisting of a Trusted Father, Mama Mary,
and Older Brother Jesus or Santo Niño makes them an extension of one’s own
family, part of one’s own identity as it were. They symbolize the positive
aspects of family relationships, such as intimacy, trust, protection,
dependence, consolation, and even playfulness in the case of Santo Niño.77

This belief greatly affected how the Filipino family try to live their lives.

They took the Holy Family as an exemplar of what their family must become.

Truly, the value of religiosity plays a great role in the traditional Filipino family.

In addition with this value, Dy says that the third value in traditional Asian

74
Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the Asian
Context,” 69.
75
Mulder, Inside Philippine Society: Interpretations of Everyday Life, 28.
76
Ibid., 28.
77
Ibid., 27.
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family, which is also evident to the Filipino family, is “respect for authority

accorded to elders.”78 Filipinos have high respect to elders for various reasons. Dy

further explicates:

Authority is accorded to the elders because they represent the wisdom of

experience. But perhaps more important than accumulated wisdom, parents
also represent in a way the Sacred because it is owing to them that one is born
into this world. Respect for authority is acknowledging one’s indebtedness of
life to one’s parents, who in turn owe their own lives and bond to their own
parents, and ultimately also the sacred source of all things. 79

One can realize that the respect they give is earned by the elders. It is this

value that the members of the Filipino family are being praised. The respect they

have to elders makes them exceptional. Things such as “pagmamano and saying

po and opo” shows the love and respect they have to the elders in their families.

Because of the love and respect Filipinos have for their elders in their families,

Dy draws out the fourth value of the traditional Asian family. The fourth

traditional value is personal care and affection for the aged. He describes:

In the traditional Asian family, parents can look forward to the personal care
and attention of their children in their old age. Asians tend to their aged
relatives in the bosom and warmth of the home. 80

Each member of the Filipino family uses the personal care and affection

for the aged as an expression of their love and respect to the elders. This is also an

expression of their religiosity which came from the influence of their family

members. Children are taught by the elders to try to continue these traditional

values that Asian, and also Filipino, families already have.

78
Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the Asian
Context,” 70.
79
Ibid., 70.
80
Ibid., 71.
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On Marriage, Fidelity and Spousal Relationship

According to The Family Code of the Philippines, marriage is defined as

“a special contract between a man and a woman entered into in accordance with

law for the establishment of conjugal and family life.”81 Marriage is the

foundation of the family. Moreover, the basic objective of marriage is to establish

conjugal and family life. Marriage aims to nurture the family.

The Filipinos value the sacredness of marriage. They give importance to

marriage because it is where the family starts. For a Filipino, “a sacred marriage is

a covenant between two who love each other in God and with God, whose joining

becomes an expression of the desire of each to love and serve God together.”82

This statement shows how Filipinos value religiosity that even in marriage they

value it. Abundo says further:

In the country, marriage is a sacred union of man and women after a period of
courtship and engagement. It is a sacrament between two people who love
each others. For many Filipinos, the eternal quality of dedication to God
pervades a truly sacred marriage.83

The deep religiosity of the Filipinos is the basis for their values in

marriage. This trait that is built on traditional values passed on from generation to

generation, which were then added to by Catholic teachings after the arrival of the

Spaniards, shows the Filipinos’ promotion of a marriage in the church. A Filipino

81
Office of the President of the Philippines (1987), Executive Order Nos.: 171-390, The
Family Code of the Philippines, (Manila: A.V.B. Printing Press, 2016), 1-2.
82
Cecil Abundo, Filipino Customs and Tradition, 2015,
https://www.vigattintourism.com/tourism/articles/Filipino-Customs-and-Traditions, retrieved on
October 10, 2018.
83
Ibid.
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51

marriage is not only characterized by its religiosity, but also the courtship that

occurred before the marriage. Because of the traditional values that Filipinos

have, they have certain traditions when it comes to courtship before marriage.

These traditions in the Philippines were combination of Christian ceremonies and

superstitions and folklore which are due to the heavy influence of Catholicism.

When the woman is asked by the man, there will be many things that

needed to be done before being approved by the parents. This tradition shows how

conservative the traditional parents are when it comes to their daughters. They do

not just allow their daughters to date others easily. They value how respected their

daughters should be. Traditionally, before a marriage, a “pamamanhikan” is made

by the man before the parents of the woman he wanted to marry and ask for the

blessing of the woman’s parents. It is in “pamamanhikan” that the suitor tries to

convince the parents of the woman and tell his intentions. “Pamamanhikan” has

no direct English translation, but it can be roughly translated to “asking for the

girl’s parents’ permission.” “Pamamanhikan” is given definition as:

From the word panik (which means to ascend or to climb a house’s flight of
stairs), pamamanhikan is “the asking for the girl’s parents’ permission to wed
the affianced pair.” The custom symbolizes honor and respect for the parents,
seeking their blessing and approval before getting married. 84

This tradition is sustained by Filipinos because of the respect to women

and marriage. Most importantly, this is done because Filipinos are family-oriented

people. It is important for them to obtain the parents’ blessings, prior to a lifetime

84
Jett Pe Benito, Pamamanhikan: Climbing for Love, 2012,
https://www.kasal.com/pamamanhikan, retrieved on October 24, 2018.
 UNIVERSITY OF SANTO TOMAS FACULTY OF ARTS AND LETTERS PAGE
52

commitment. It is not legal to marry a woman without the permission of the

parents. They should not hide their marriage and be transparent with it. For this

reason, traditionally, the girl is never to be home alone with a suitor. 85 Also, the

suitor usually does “harana” to the woman in the courtship stage and expresses his

affection for the woman. Medina states:

Serenading used to be of the more popular means by which a man expressed

his feelings for the woman of his choice. The suitor would invite some
of his friends, especially on moonlit nights, to sing love songs to the
accompaniment of a guitar. Other ways of expressing were by writing her love
letters and giving her gifts.86

Another tradition that Filipinos have before marriage is through servitude

to the family of the woman. This is done usually by doing household chores such

as fetching water and chopping firewood for cooking. Medina states, “This was to

prove to the girl and her family his perseverance and noble intentions. In a way, it

was not just the girl he was wooing but her entire family."87 The suitor does this

to show if he is ready to work for his lady. This is to test his dedication to his

lady. This is also a way to convince the parents of the lady so that they will agree

to their relationship.

Moreover, when the time that the couple has received both their families’

blessings, it is time to reach out to their clans. It is important for traditional

Filipinos to court, not just the woman, also the woman’s family. The family of the

suitor then goes to the woman’s house in order to formally ask the hand of the

85
See Medina, The Filipino Family, 79.
86
Ibid., 80.
87
Ibid., 80.
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woman from her parents. This is because of the conservatism and respect

Filipinos have with the woman. Also, as part of the tradition, there would be

arrangements and bride-gifts before marriage. Medina states:

Usually included in the negotiations was the bride-gift to be given by the

groom’s family to the parents of the bride. The amount and nature of the gift
depended on the prevailing custom of the region and the socio-economic
status of the two families. Usually, the bride-gift consisted of a piece of land
or a house or a sum of money. In some regions, the kinsmen of the bride and
groom also gave gifts to the betrothed couple alternately, each side trying to
outdo the other in terms of the amount or value of the gift. These gifts were
actually intended to help the couple start their married life. 88

This tradition shows that Filipinos want their relatives to be in their

wedding day. This shows the close family ties they have. They want everyone to

know that their family will be extended again because of the union of the engaged

couple. After the wedding, the reception is prepared. Filipinos are always

prepared when it comes to reception. This tradition shows the euphoria and

felicitations they have for the couple. No matter how costly it would be, Filipinos

always make sure that they can make the wedding ostentatious and the food

sumptuous. Behind the grandiose rituals and many traditions the couple need to

undergo, the traditional marriage is characterized as sacred because of the

importance it means to the Filipinos. Tagle, defines it as:

In the past, a marriage was considered not merely as a union between two
people, but between two families as well. This is perhaps one reason why
parents in previous generations tended to impose their choice of marriage
partner. This may no longer be true, but we can still say that even today the
marriage between two people is still a union of two families in some other
ways.89

88
Ibid., 80.
89
Tagle, Towards a Responsible Parenthood and Family Life, 31.
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54

For Filipinos, marriage is more than the union of the two people that is

why they really value it. This is why they are ready to spend money and time in

preparations of weddings. They look at it as a moment where their family is going

to be extended. With this, the Filipinos value fidelity among couples. Because

they look at marriage as more than a union of two people, but a union of two

families, they must show fidelity in their marriage and maintain its sacredness –

the sacredness that they vowed with each other during their wedding day.

The family is started during the marriage of the couple which happened

during their wedding day. The wedding can be in front of God’s altar or in a civil

manner. However, whatever type of wedding – be it church or civil – the Filipinos

value the importance of fidelity in their relationship. Ramon Tagle Jr. explains:

When a man and a woman marry, they offer each other their “total selves.”
These “selves” are of course greatly influenced by the personal histories they
lived out in their respective families. It can, therefore, be said that two
families still “unite” through the couple who vow to love each other for better
or for worse.90

The married couples carry their family histories. Because they carry these,

it is expected from them that they are to be loyal to each other. They are expected

that when they said “until death do us part,” they are ready to live a life together

until the moment of their death. Ted Gonzales, S.J. says:

The Filipino population is predominantly Catholic. From the Catholic

viewpoint, the sacrament of marriage is meant to be permanent, for better or
for worse. This means constant fidelity to each other and indissolubility of the
union (Cathecism for Filipino Catholics, 1997). The document specifies the
sacrament of marriage: The deepest reason is found in the fidelity of God to
his covenant, in that of Christ to his Church. Through the sacrament of

90
Ibid., 31.
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55

Matrimony the spouses are enabled to represent this fidelity and witness to it.
Through the sacrament, the indissolubility of marriage receives a new and
deeper meaning (Cathecism of the Catholic Church, no. 1647).91

The Catechism for Filipino Catholics (1997) interprets this bond as

follows: "We love one another and want our love to last forever. We ask you to

respect this commitment, and help us to keep it."92 Because of the Filipinos’

religiosity and the great influence of Catholicism, couples are asked to become

faithful with each other. They are asked to be faithful like God who is faithful to

the people he made promise with. In the Filipino culture, faithfulness is known as

“tapat.” Gonzales discusses:

The Filipino word used during the seminars conducted around the Philippines
on marital enrichment from Marriage Encounter or Tipanan (literally,
covenant) is tapat. Tapat implies being truthful, willing to do what is good for
the other, loving responsibly in small, specific steps, and committing oneself
from now on. This concept of tapat provides a basis for the marital life of the
Filipino couple to spring to a new level of relationship. 93

Being ”tapat” in a relationship does not only entail to not having a

concubine or not committing adultery, but it is giving of the whole self to the

better half. The commitment of the couple to each other means that they need to

be honest and true to each other. There arises a must to be faithful to each other.

This prevailing importance of fidelity in a relationship for Filipinos is shaped by

culture, religion and tradition. This character is one that which is to be nurtured

and sustained by the Filipino couple throughout history. They must always be

91
Ted Gonzales, The Filipino Context of Infidelity and Resilience, 2003,
http://www.eapi.org.ph/resources/eapr/east-asian-pastoral-review-2003/volume-40-2003-number-
2/the-filipino-context-of-infidelity-and-resilience, retrieved on October 9, 2018.
92
Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines, Catechism for Filipino Catholics,
(Manila: ECCCE Word and Life Publications, 1997), 474.
93
Gonzales, The Filipino Context of Infidelity and Resilience, n.pag.
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56

reminded that they did not only unite their selves during their wedding, but they

unite their families. They must also be reminded that they vow before God during

marriage and are asked to become faithful like the Father. Moreover, the Filipinos

are trying their best to fulfil their duties as partners. Their spousal relationships

are very important to preserve the sanctity of marriage. Medina describes the

traditional roles of the couple:

In most traditional societies, husband/wife follow the usual gender lines of

specialization, i.e., domestic management for wives and livelihood
preoccupation for husbands. Even today in most societies of the world, wives
are generally expected to perform the role of housekeeper, cook, laundress,
seamstress, and nursemaid. Husbands on the other hands, are expected to be
responsible for supporting the family. 94

These are the roles that traditional Filipino families have. They follow

these roles because they respect the tradition of their families. Their roles

contribute to their spousal relationship because as long as they stay loyal to their

roles, they fulfil the needs of their families. These roles have been the definition

of the traditional relationship of the spouses in the Filipino society.

On Child and Parenting

The family of a child is mainly the first formation place. It is where the

child mostly acquires his knowledge and values. Tagle adds:

It is within the framework of the family that we came into contact with the
larger world: of other families, the church, the school. It is our family that
leaves the most imprint on us.95

94
Medina, The Filipino Family, 140.
95
Tagle, Towards a Responsible Parenthood and Family Life, 31.
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With this, one can realize that the family’s contribution is a holistic

integral formation to the child. It shapes the child’s character. The contribution of

the family to the child is what will help them shape the perception of the child in

life. Medina explicates:

The child’s position in the family is significant because it is the child who
gives the family its form and structure. A husband and wife remain as mag-
asawa (couple) until a child is born. To the Filipino, a family is not complete
without a child, as evidenced by the term mag-anak (the root word anak
meaning “child”) to refer to the family. The child is also structurally
significant in the formation of the bilaterally extended family. It is the child
who links the families of the father and mother. It is the child alone who is
related by blood equally to both his father’s and mother’s kingroup.96

The traditional Filipino family presents a close relationship between the

parents and the child. Usually, the father is the one who works for the family so

that they can have money to spend for a living. On the other hand, the mother is

with the child more because she is the one who is left in the house to do

household chores. Because early Filipinos spend more time with their children,

they build a relationship which forms a remarkable closeness between them.

Because of this remarkable closeness, parents sometimes have difficulties letting

go of their children and thus results to having them stay for as long as they want.

This somehow explains why grandparents are commonly seen living with their

children in the Philippines.

Regarding the formation of a child, because of a trait Filipinos which

made themselves exceptional from others, which is their strong respect for elders,

children are taught from birth how to say “po” and “opo” to teach them as early as

96
Medina, The Filipino Family, 215.
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58

possible how to properly respect their elders. These words are used to show

respect to people of older age. Medina explains:

When the child is old enough to understand, he is taught to be obedient and

respectful to his parents, older siblings, and other elders. One traditional sign
of respect is to greet the elder by asking for his blessing, symbolized by the
mano (to kiss the hand or to reach for the hand of the elder and press it to the
forehead). Another sign of respect is the use of the word po at the end of each
sentence, similar to “ma’am” and “sir,” and the use of kayo (singular form of
the second person) in addressing elders instead of ikaw or ka (singular form
meaning “you”). It is also considered impolite to refer to the elder or address
him by his first name.97

Furthermore, Filipinos ask their children to be more disciplined. They do

not tolerate children who fight back and disrespect elders. Discipline and respect

are the values parents want their children to have. Even after finishing school,

Filipino children are not obliged to get out of their homes unless they want to. In

fact, most of them keep their close relationship to their parents by staying at least

before they get married. They only leave when they really have to, but usually, at

least one child, depending on his willingness and financial capabilities, stays even

after marriage to support and look after their aging parents.

Moreover, Filipinos look at children not just as someone to form but they

mean more than that to them. Because of the influence of religion to Filipinos,

they look at the child as a gift from God. Hence, children are believed to bring

good luck to the family. This belief is explicated further by Mulder. He states:

Children are generally seen as God’s blessing and the inspiration of life; an
enormous amount of emotion is invested in them. Parents tend to identify with
the success and failures of their children, a child becoming their substitute

97
Ibid., 225.
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59

self. No wonder that they may think that they know their child inside out, that
it has no secrets to them.98

The belief that the child is a gift from God is what made the child special

for Filipinos. With this, they tend to “own” their children and look at them as their

selves. Randy David, in his article, writes:

In traditional society, the status of the child is determined by the social

position of the family from which she is sprung. Indeed, parents “own” their
children, a fact that proceeds from the family’s basic role as an economic unit.
The state recognizes this, and defers to the primordial authority of parents
over their children. 99

Indeed, the child is regarded as the parents’ property but they mean more

than that for Filipinos. Leonardo Mercado said that “children bind couples.”100

For him, “couples without children easily break off.”101 This is because of the fact

that among the cultural minorities, sterility is ground for divorce or separation.

Moreover, for Filipinos, children are considered as economic investments.

Mercado writes, “Filipino parents feel that if one of their children will become

successful in the future, then he will make up for the rest of the family.” 102 In the

Filipino setting, children also help in the household chores and in running errands

and thereby lighten household chores. Furthermore, a number of children will

somehow give an assurance for better assistance to parents when they get old and

retire to work.

98
Mulder, Inside Philippine Society: Interpretations of Everyday Life, 21.
99
Randy David, “Modernity and the Filipino Child,” n.pag.
100
Mercado, Elements of Filipino Ethics, 83.
101
Ibid., 83.
102
Ibid., 83.
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For Filipinos, a child is also a source of inspiration for parents to work and

earn more financially and also have the duty to be moral in order to be exemplars

to their children. Parents are asked to become exemplars to their children so that

they will become good citizens in the near future. With the belief that children

came out of love. it entails that parents must also promote love. A child’s

formation in the home is important in the Filipino family because they mean more

than a mere offspring. They are God’s blessing, source of inspiration and an asset

for them. This exhorts why parents of a traditional Filipino family give all their

efforts to be good parents and form their children properly.

It is indeed a must that the parent must fulfil their roles in order to form

the child’s character. In the case of the father, the father is usually the bread-

winner in the family. He is the one which sustains the family economically. Also,

the father is often described as an authority figure and disciplinarian in the

family.103 The father is the one who is responsible in forming the discipline of the

child. On the other hand, the mother is usually the source of care in the family.

The mother is usually the one who is doing household chores and caring the child

at home. Medina states:

Although both parents play an active role in socialization, the mother assumes
the bulk of child care responsibility because it is she who spends more time at
home and has a more intimate relationship with the child. This fact reinforces
the Filipino stereotype of the woman playing the domestic role. 104

103
See Medina, The Filipino Family, 224.
104
Ibid., 219.
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Both parents, father and mother, plays an integral role in the formation of

the child. Thus, the traditional Filipino family emphasizes this so that they will be

responsible parents.

The Challenges of Modernization to the Filipino Family

Modernization gave way to new heights. It opened to many inventions and

innovations. It also changed some of the norms, values and beliefs that one has.

The setting of modernization led individuals to look at themselves and changed

their way of thinking. This way of thinking is what most people, especially the

kids born during the 1990’s and onwards known as the millennials, have today.

However, an encounter between the traditional Filipino values and the values that

modernization was able to offer is inevitable due to the large influence of

modernization in the society. Thus, it is quite expected that modernization will

have an impact to the society.

One needs to realize that the process of modernization is catching up with

the Filipino family. Change must occur if the family is to survive in a changing

world. Because of modernization, Filipinos are faced with diverse facets of life

which challenged them. Even though modernization has positive effects, it also

has some negative effects. It also increased the poverty rate. Because of this

situation in the modern society, the separation of labor from the family dwelling is

a common trend. The number of Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) is

increasing. Many parents now are forced to work away from their families
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because it is the best solution to earn for a living. With this, the wife or husband

and the children are left home to feign for themselves. This situation presents one

of the consequences brought by modernity and poverty. In this regard, one can

perceive the difference of the modern Filipino family from the traditional Filipino

family. Dy compares:

Unlike the traditional family where work and family life were intertwined, the
modern family seeks for work outside the home. Work is segregated from
family life, even if the workplace is within one’s dwelling. The wife is seldom
now simply a homemaker; she also has to work outside to augment the family
income or to find her own career fulfilment. Pressures of work leave little time
for family interactions. 105

With this situation, the traditional Filipino family values of close family

ties and solidarity are threatened. These values seems to deteriorate because of the

effects that modernization engendered. Dy adds:

Modernization indeed broadens the human being’s consciousness and freedom

of choice, but this increase of consciousness and liberty easily leads to
licentious, giving rise to the phenomenon of divorces, pre-marital sex, single
parenting, broken homes. The crisis in the modern family is primarily one of
solidarity. 106

Having said this, Dy points out that modernization did not only give way

to positive effects in our society. The sanctity of the family for Filipinos is also

being desecrated because of the new outlook in life brought by the fast-paced

world today. Modernization’s influence made human as the center of things –

anthropocentrism. Subjectivity triumphed and that is why it broadened the human

being’s consciousness and freedom of choice. However, because modernization

105
Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the Asian
Context,” 69.
106
Ibid., 69.
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placed so much faith on the capability of the human being, it resulted to an

incoherent world. This is because of their different views in life. Moreover,

according to Dy, “the second value in the traditional family affected by

modernization is religiosity.” 107 He discusses further:

Modernization, however; introduces secularization in society. The Sacred that

once was thought to explain everything unexplainable is now relegated to the
background because science and technology can explain what once was
thought to be the work of some mysterious power. With secularization, what
is important is not the ultimate but the immediate, the instant, the
consumable.108

Because of the perks that science and technology was able to provide,

human beings tend to resort on what is faster to acquire. Traditionally, Filipinos

have deep religiosity because of the belief that God is the answer for every

problem and endeavor they face. Their deep faith and relationship with God are

the things that define Filipinos. However, modernization changed this perspective.

Science and technology present a faster way of doing things. Modernization

presents an instant solution. But, this affected the religiosity that the Filipinos

have. Jayeel S. Cornelio, says:

Religion in the Philippines, many people say, is in trouble these days.

Although the Philippines is still palpably religious on various fronts, it is not
uncommon to hear of some people’s lamentations that young people, for
example, are not attending church anymore (Cornelio, 2013). Or that people
who profess to be religious do not really understand what they believe in at
all. Still, others think that religion has become instrumentalist, with God
becoming important only in times of need. In other words, many people
question if in fact Filipinos are losing their faith. 109

107
Ibid., 69.
108
Ibid., 69.
109
Jayeel Cornelio, Are We Losing Faith?, 2014,
https://socialstudiescorner.wordpress.com/2014/11/20/are-we-losing-faith-an-invitation-to-the-
sociology-of-religion-in-the-philippines/, retrieved on September 24, 2018.
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The character of Filipinos as religious people is now slowly fading. The

numbers are declining.110 The Filipino who is known for remarkable religious

character has changed. This is one of the effects of modernity to the traditional

values of the Filipinos. Another effect of modernization that Manuel Dy presents

is the professionalization of education in the country. 111 Because of this, parents

no longer need to be the ones to train their children at home. They are not

mandated to teach them the lessons in each subject that they need to learn. They

are now sending their children to schools. With this, the children already gain

knowledge without consulting their parents. However, this resulted to children

having no respect to their parents. Dy adds:

The modern youth can now claim that he/she knows better than the parents.
The modern youth are now more aware of their rights and can argue with their
parents on what is due and what is best for them. 112

Because of the children already having knowledge without their parent’s

teachings, they tend to look at themselves as the center of the family. They look

from a perspective of a modern perspective. They place themselves at the center

of things and look at themselves higher than their parents. Also, the respect that

they have for authority accorded to elders is gradually fading. Modernization truly

raised the standard of living for the people. It provided the means to achieve new

110
“In academic circles, some observers have begun pointing to recent trends indicating
the possible decline of religiosity. The Social Weather Stations has documented a declining trend
in church attendance among Filipino adults from 66% in 1991 to 43% in 2013 (Mangahas, 2011).
Among Catholics, the decline is arguably more drastic from 64% in 1991 to 37% in 2013
(Cornelio, 2013).” Ibid.
111
See Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the
Asian Context,” 70.
112
Ibid., 70.
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innovations and improvements in the lives of the people. However, it widened the

gap between the rich and the poor. The Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA)

released a statistical report on the country’s official poverty rate for the full year

of 2015. The PSA report showed a higher poverty incident rate than that of the

other years.113 Poverty drives many families to sacrifice togetherness to earn

money. Dy says:

In the struggle for survival, parents no longer have time for their children, and
children spend less time with either parent. Child labor becomes rampant. The
father is looked upon solely as provider of money, and children grow up
without authority figures. 114

The consequences that poverty provided is being felt by family members

because the traditional closeness and intimacy is lessened. The need to earn

money has become the priority of the family members. Because of this, Dy

suggests that “it is also out of poverty that the fourth value of the traditional Asian

family is gradually being discarded – the personal care and affection for the

aged.”115 Before, sending the aged to geriatric institutions is not one of the

options. Dy adds that “but now, out of poverty, families are forced to send their

elderly to these institutions.”116 He points out here that the chance for the families

to be together until the time of their later years is not being affirmed because of
113
“The PSA report provides the estimates of poverty incidence using income data from
the first and second visit of the Family Income and Expenditure Survey (FIES) conducted in July
2015 and January 2016, respectively. It was reported that the poverty incidence among Filipinos in
2015 was estimated at 21.6 percent.” Lisa Grace Bersales, Farmers. Fishermen and Children
consistently posted the highest poverty incidence among basic sectors – PSA, 2016,
https://psa.gov.ph/poverty-press-releases, retrieved on October 20, 2018.
114
Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and Problems of Modernization in the Asian
Context,” 70.
115
Ibid., 71.
116
Ibid., 71.
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the effects of poverty which modernization has affected. Modernization truly

affected our society both positively and negatively. It changed the perspective of a

human being and, at the same time, affected the familial perspective of the people.

The Filipino family values of close family ties, religiosity, respect to authority in

accorded to elders and the personal care and affection for the aged was also

affected by modernization. Indeed, modernization paved way to many things – be

it positive or negative.

On Marriage, Fidelity and Spousal Relationship

Modernization changed how a marriage is in the Philippines. Cultures and

tradition before a wedding are also influenced and changed. Before, the Filipino

wedding is regarded as not just a union of two people but union also of two

families of both couples which is why Filipinos have traditions and rituals in

which each family really give their efforts in the wedding of a Filipino couple.

However, in modern Filipino society, it seems that Filipinos see less and less of

the pre-wedding traditions and rituals. Today, however, the courtship landscape

also changed. Instead of the usual courtship in front of the presence of the

woman’s relatives, courtship today can be through different avenues. Medina

describes:

Modern courtship need not be carried on entirely face-to-face. Young people

can communicate through beepers, cellphones, or even through the internet.
As before, a young man can also express love through love notes, but sans the
flowery words, because the youth today use more direct language. Gifts may
also be given to the girl, usually in the form of flowers and chocolates.
Likewise, the practice of employing a go-between is now limited only to some
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barrios. Rendering service to the girl’s family is practically non-existent, for

gas and electric stoves have replaced firewood, and the modern piped water
system in every home has removed the need to fetch water from the river or
well. 117

Moreover, the educational system of coeducation and the practice of

hanging out with friends without the formal introduction to parents paved way to

interactions between opposite genders. Dating and courtship today do not need

personal interactions because of the technological advancements.

For Filipinos, when someone marries, one marries into the better half’s

family and takes that thought very seriously. However, today, marriage is being

desecrated. This has become a problem because the traditional definition and

importance of marriage is slowly degrading and cases of infidelity rise. Gonzales

states, “A common concern emerging from family ministry in the Philippine

setting is of a marriage affected by infidelity. Infidelity is the breaking of marital

vows.”118 Minyong Ordoñez supports this claim by saying:

The culture of a people, the Filipino culture in our case, defines our racial
identity. Culture manifests goodness and virtues, creativity, and
accomplishments in symmetry with the material and spiritual faculties of the
people. Culture is the bedrock of a nation’s continuity, unity, subsidiarity, and
dignity. And lovability too. We Filipinos are disarmingly called the happiest,
most hospitable people on this side of the planet, a national character that
originates from our profound celebration of the joy and sanctity of life. No
racial pride or culture can evolve based on self-destructive and sinful acts of a
people. 119

117
Medina, The Filipino Family, 82.
118
Gonzales, The Filipino Context of Infidelity and Resilience, n.pag.
119
Minyong Ordoñez, Filipino culture, family values, RH, 2011,
http://www.bworldonline.com/content.php?section=9&title=Filipino-culture,-family-values,-
RH&id=31456, retrieved on September 5, 2018.
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He points out the importance of the Filipino culture and tradition.

However, he also stated that some Filipino values are lost because of the effects

brought by the times. Also, it is reported that many Filipinos nowadays support

divorce in the country. 120 This is what the traditional Filipinos have been

negating, but now, it is starting to rise. This legalization of divorce is being

pushed and supported by many Filipinos because of factors such as infidelity and

poverty. Gonzales writes:

In Philippine culture, infidelities or extramarital relationships range from

casual relationships to the keeping of a querida or paramour (Medina 1991).
Alano (1995) lists some Filipino terms referring to infidelity: pakikiapid or
pangangalunya (used in legal and scholarly documents), paglalaro sa apoy
(playing with fire), pamamangka sa dalawang ilog (rowing up two
rivers),pagsusunong ng uling (carrying of burning charcoal), pangangaliwa
(turning left or going against the expected direction), pagkulasisi or
pangtsitsiks (catching chicks or birds), and pambababae (collecting women).
Kabit (clinging attachment) and querida or kirida (Spanish word for beloved,
refers to the mistress).The husband’s infidelity is a major concern in Filipino
marriages (PCP II, 1992). Carandang (1987) notes that wives rank infidelity
as the number one family stressor. Lacar (1993) reports that male infidelity is
the most frequent reason for marital separation. Vancio (1980, 1977) cites
male infidelity as a major issue for marital break-ups in Metro Manila. 121

Cases of adultery and infidelity in the Philippines are growing. 122 In spite

of the statistical figures, records on marital break-ups with finality are not duly

listed because of the absence of legal divorce in the Philippines. However, even

though divorce is not legalized in the Philippines, infidelity and separation has

120
“A recent poll by Social Weather Stations (SWS) shows that in the fourth quarter of
2014, more than half of Filipinos (60%) supported the legalization of divorce.” Paulo Taruc, SWS:
Support for divorce growing in Philippines, n.pag.
121
Gonzales, The Filipino Context of Infidelity and Resilience, n.pag.
122
“In the McCann Metro Manila Male Study (1995), half of the 485 male respondents
reported having had extramarital affairs. As stated, “Relucio reported in her in-depth interview
with seven separated women, notes that "infidelity was found to be a common problem." (Dayan,
et. al. n.pag) in their study of 60 petitioners for nullity of marriage, report that adultery was one of
the major reasons cited.” Ibid.
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become an issue. It can be derived that infidelity can also be traced as a gender

issue. In addition to, the findings of Gonzales show that marital infidelity is a

major concern among Filipino married couples, especially in fast growing cities

such as Metro Manila or Iligan City. On the other hand, further observations show

that this is largely a male gender phenomenon. 123

The perspective of the couple today is very different from what it was

before. Especially for men, the focus on parenting is most likely on providing

monetary needs. On the other hand, it seems that parenting has been a woman’s

responsibility since the woman is the one at home.

The relevance of the vow the couple made during marriage is being

forgotten by some Filipino males nowadays. Another factor cited by Gonzales on

the Filipino male infidelity is the external environments one is in, namely:

education, migration and other challenges which are related to financial and

economic difficulties. One way to provide for the material needs of the Filipino

family is for some Filipino wives with education and academic achievements to

find jobs which deviates from their traditional household chores and nurturing

roles as a wife. Some parents work in the Philippines while others travel abroad to

123
“Thirty-six percent of the males of the 368 respondents admitted to extramarital
relations while only 2 percent of the females did so. The male respondents did not find that their
extramarital relations were at variance with their marital involvement. About 85% of them said
that their marriage was not in any danger of breaking up and actually the marriage had turned out
better than they had expected.” Ibid.
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help provide for their families.124 Also, the family stress of families who are not

living together due to parents working abroad have a high tendency to give

spouses stresses in their relationship. Thus, couples who do not live together due

to the need to cope up financially almost result into problems between couples

and relationship in the family. Thus, if this is the case, infidelity between couples

are highly possible.

Today, the numbers are still increasing and because of the increasing

poverty rate which forced parents to work abroad, the closeness of the family is

vanishing. Also, this paved way to new roles in the family. A man may marry and

be a father of a family, but he may be incapable of assuming the full

responsibilities of fatherhood and leadership of a family and just become provider

of material things and monetary allowances in the family. Hence, the father in the

family does not really enjoy the company of his wife and family. In addition to

the issue of marital infidelity, Jocano, writes about infidelity as only pastimes of

the husband because of the heaviness of the stresses that he gets from work.

Jocano adds, “Some of the reasons are the perception of lack of care and concern

by the wife, pressures about providing from a domineering wife, and sexual

inadequacy of the wife.”125 Modernization’s contribution to the society is worth

gratifying but it also paved way to factors which changed the perspective of an

124
“Actual statistics of registered Overseas Workers deployed from the Philippine
Overseas Employment Administration show that a total of 831, 643 in 1998; 837, 020 in 1999;
841, 628 in 2000; and 866,590 in 2001 have been deployed abroad especially in the Middle East,
Asia and Europe.” Ibid..
125
Ibid.
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individual. The growing number of infidelity in the Philippines is just one of the

negative effects modernization has given.

On Child and Parenting

The child is a gift from God for Filipinos. They look at the child as a

blessing they received. Because of this, children are formed well in their first

formation houses – their families. However, modernization changed the way the

children are raised. Instead of the traditional home-schooling, they now go to

schools and acquire knowledge. The children already gain knowledge without

consulting their parents. Unfortunately, this resulted to children having no respect

to their parents. Dy says:

The modern youth can now claim that he/she knows better than the parents.
The modern youth are now more aware of their rights and can argue with their
parents on what is due and what is best for them. 126

Even though this is a good thing, the respect they have to elders is being

forgotten. Modern child tends to put themselves at the center of everything. This

results to some rebellious children who became too liberated. However, one must

also look on other results of modernization to children. Because of the increasing

poverty rate, children are forced to work at an early age. Hence, child labor

increased. Randy David explains:

Almost all the threats that Filipino children confront in our society—corporal
punishment, verbal abuse, child labor, child trafficking, sexual abuse, child
soldiering, recruitment into criminal syndicates, etc.—are rooted in the

126
Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the Asian
Context,” 70.
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poverty and degradation to which at least half of our people have been
consigned.127

With this, one looks on how the child is in today’s world. Child abuse has

been an issue in the country. There are many cases of child abuse in the

Philippines. Some of the child abuse cases are because of sexual abuse and some

are because of violence.128 Randy David adds:

The modern family, in contrast, sheds off its economic function. And with the
spread of public education, it also loses a good part of its educational function.
The State assumes the formal obligation to protect and ensure the growth of
every child, conferring upon them all those rights that are beautifully laid out
in the modern document we call the United Nations Convention on the Rights
of the Child.129

The growing number of child abuse should be given attention because the

children are supposed to be formed well so that they would be good social beings.

The abuses they received are not just physical but also sexual.130 It is said that

child sexual abuse involves “not only violent sexual assault, but other sexual

activities, including inappropriate touching, while child sexual exploitation

involves some form of remuneration where the perpetrator benefits, according to

127
David, “Modernity and the Filipino Child,” n.pag.
128
“As many as 2,147 cases of child abuse were reported to the Department of Social
Welfare and Development (DSWD) in the first quarter of 2016, more than one–fourth of which
was of a sexual nature. The figure was nearly half of the total 4,374 child abuse cases reported in
the entire year of 2015, according to the Policy Development and Planning Bureau of the DSWD.
Social Welfare Secretary Judy Taguiwalo called for greater vigilance among the public to protect
the children in the face of the growing number of child abuse cases in the country.” Yap, Child
abuse on rise, DSWD report shows, n.pag.
129
David, “Modernity and the Filipino Child,” n.pag.
130
“In the first three months of 2016, most of the children were victims of sexual abuse,
with 539 cases; followed by neglect, with 514 cases; abandonment, with 487 cases; sexual
exploitation, 233 cases, and trafficking, 214 cases… The DSWD also reported that there were 83
cases of physical abuse and maltreatment, 47 cases of illegal recruitment, and 13 cases of child
labor.” Yap, Child abuse on rise, DSWD report shows, n.pag.
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the United Nations Refugee Agency.”131 This growing number of child abuse

cases becomes a problem in today’s society. David says:

Three to 6 million children are reported to be living apart from their OFW
parents. Thousands of children are recruited as child soldiers by insurgent
groups, or engaged as spies by the military. Every year, tens of thousands of
children fall victim to sexual abuse, trafficking and drug abuse. Every renewal
of armed conflict in Mindanao throws children out of their homes and into
makeshift shanties in evacuation centers. Every natural calamity victimizes
children in numbing proportions.132

These problems regarding child formation, child abuse and child labor are

growing in the country. These are all issues that the modern Filipino families need

to face. These problems can also be traced due to solo-parenthood. Medina

explicates:

Concern for solo-parents has grown considerably in recent years. We

normally think of a family with two parents acting as partners in carrying out
the parental functions, but a growing proportion of contemporary Filipino
parents do not operate under these ideal conditions. The exodus of Filipino
workers abroad, for instance, has left millions of fatherless or motherless
children to the care of a lone parent or another relative. In such cases, the
shifting roles of the solo-parent becomes overwhelming, making it difficult
for him or her to discipline the children (Mercado, 1990). The same problems
may confront other types of solo parents, whether widowed, single or unwed,
abandoned, divorced or legally separated.133

These factors are very vital on the problems on child and parenting today.

The cases of poverty which urged the parents to work abroad also contributed on

the change of structure in the family. These are very crucial contributing factors

on the landscape of the Filipino family today.

131
Ibid.
132
David, “Modernity and the Filipino Child,” n.pag.
133
Medina, The Filipino Family, 229.
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CHAPTER 3

Gabriel Marcel’s The Mystery of the Family

Introduction

The researcher dedicates this chapter in discussing the thoughts of the

French philosopher named Gabriel- Honoré Marcel. This chapter explicates some

key concepts of Marcel’s philosophical approach. It exposes Marcel’s explanation

on the distinction of his notion on problem and mystery. Also, it discusses

Marcel’s concepts of creative fidelity and disponibilité. Moreover, this chapter

explicates Gabriel Marcel’s The Mystery of the Family.

On Problem and Mystery

Of the many points in French philosopher Gabriel Marcel’s Mystery of

Being, one point suits the purpose of trying to discover philosophy in everyday

life – that is the explanation on both the Primary and Secondary Reflections. This

idea is used so that there would be a link between philosophical reflection and

human experiences. In here, Marcel gives not only a generic way of doing

reflection. Rather, he classified reflection into two levels. Before one goes deeper

into the two levels of reflection, one must first be given an idea as from where

Marcel came about in levelling reflection into two. This is brought about by

comparison and differentiation of a problem and a mystery. Problem according to

Marcel is something outside the self. It is something in front of a person wherein

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one is not involved in that situation. On the other hand, mystery is something the

person is involved.

To understand the philosophy of Gabriel Marcel, one must understand the

distinction between problem and mystery. He states, “A problem is something

which I meet, which I find complete before me, but which I can therefore lay

siege to and reduce.”134 Problems, according to Marcel, are addressed

impersonally, and in a way, a detached manner, meaning, one is not involved

directly with the problem. A problem, likewise, is something that is out there and

for one to resolve it, one must simply lay siege and reduced them. Problems are

usually resolved analytically and are dealt with solutions. Plunging deeper, a

problem is a question that is outside the questioner in which the questioner is not

directly connected with the question. In a way, problems are obstacles in order for

one to overcome them must simply device a technique. Thus, the human being

here is simply a Homo Spectans – one who simply observes.

These two notions were used by Marcel many times in his works. Kenneth

Gallagher states, “A problem, then, is an inquiry which is set on foot in respect to

an object which the self apprehends in an exterior way.” 135 He states, “The basis

for all points of difference is this view of an object as something external to me,

something which is set over against myself.”136 Thus, Gallagher explains, “In

each case, the data of the questions are such that I can effectively divorce myself

134
Gabriel Marcel, Being and Having, (Glasgow: The University Press, 1949), 117.
135
Gallagher, The Philosophy of Gabriel Marcel, 31.
136
Ibid., 31.
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from them and concentrate upon them as upon manipulable external objects.” 137

These explanations states that problem is something that can be objectified. Also,

for Marcel, problems always have coinciding solutions.

Mysteries would be the opposite of problems. Marcel states, “But a

mystery is something in which I am involved, and it can therefore only be thought

of a sphere where the distinction between what is in me and what is before me

loses its meaning and its validity.” 138 They are not resolved with techniques,

solutions and analysis. Yet, through this may be the case for mysteries. It does not

suggest that to talk about mysteries is senseless. Rather, mysteries denote

something complex, something deeper. Mysteries are not something beyond the

individual but they are something that comprehend and involves the individual.

Furthermore, mysteries require the questioner to be involved directly. In here, the

questioner or the human being becomes a Homo Particeps- one who is

participative. For Marcel, a mystery is more than a problem, it is a problem that

encroaches in the subject that I am. Marcel even said that he can only consider

facts exterior to himself as problems.139

On the other hand, Gallagher explains mystery as “… a question in which

what is given cannot be regarded as detached from the self.” 140 A mystery is

something that is not outside of the self but involves the self. Also, in the case of

137
Ibid., 32.
138
Marcel, Being and Having, 117.
139
See Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, 68.
140
Gallagher, The Philosophy of Gabriel Marcel, 32.
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mystery, “It is the singular person who must ask questions, with all his

singularity.”141 Hence, the self must be immersed and participative in the

situation. One must not detach the self in a mystery. The involvement of the very

self is very important.

Primary and Secondary Reflection

From this distinction between problem and mystery comes the two levels

of reflection, as suggested by Gabriel Marcel – the Primary and Secondary

Reflections. Gabriel Marcel states:

Primary reflection is therefore forced to take up an attitude of radical

detachment, of complete lack of interest, towards the fact that this particular
body happens to be mine; primary reflection has to recall the facts that this
body has just the same properties, that it is liable to suffer the same disorders,
that is fated in the end to undergo the same destruction, as any other body
whatsoever.142

For Marcel, reflection is very integral to human existence. It is even

classified as a part of life. Primary and secondary reflections were very much

distinguished from one another. Gallagher explains:

It is primary reflection which severs man from the immediacy of his situation;
in the same breath that it sets up the world of objectivity it also isolates the
subject as an element over against the world. For both subject and object, this
stage represents a retreat from participation, and therefore a retreat from
existence. 143

To simply put, primary reflection deals with things in an objective

approach. Hence, when one reflects on the primary level, that individual reflects

141
Ibid., 38.
142
Gabriel Marcel, The Mystery of Being: Reflection and Mystery Volume I, (New York:
University of America, Inc., 1978), 92.
143
Gallagher, The Philosophy of Gabriel Marcel, 42.
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on them as though they are apart from the self and the way of reflecting would be

analysis, deconstructing the parts, leading to a further analysis of the parts before

coming up with a solution. More so, primary reflection tends to objectify the

points of reflection, as though they are objects that one simply possesses.

However, Marcel explicates the importance of a higher level of reflection which

is the secondary reflection. Marcel states:

Let it be clearly understood that secondary reflection does not set out flatly to
give the lie to these propositions; it manifests itself rather by a refusal to treat
primary reflection’s separation of this body, considered as just a body, a
sample body, some body or other, from the self that I am as final. Its fulcrum,
or its springboard, is just that massive, indistinct sense of one’s total existence
which a short time ago we were trying, not exactly to define (for as the
condition which makes the defining activity possible, it seems to be prior to
all definition) but to give a name to and evoke, to locate as an existential
centre.144

Gallagher explicates this by saying:

Secondary reflection, says Marcel, is reflection squared, reflection raised to

the second power. Specifically, it is a recognition of the insufficiency of the
categories which make primary reflection possible. 145

With this, it is to be understood that secondary reflection, on the other

hand, goes deeper than that of primary reflection. In the secondary level, one

deals with things in a subjective manner. This time, the individual is immersed

with the question. Secondary reflection does not simply remain on the analytic

level, but furthers down into a reflection which seeks to deal with things in a

subjective manner. Its purpose is to recuperate what the primary reflection has

deconstructed. It is likewise one’s important access to oneself.

144
Marcel, The Mystery of Being: Reflection and Mystery Volume I, 92-93.
145
Gallagher, The Philosophy of Gabriel Marcel, 42.
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From here, one can infer that problems are addressed with primary

reflection; hence it deals with an analytic method. Mysteries, however, are dealt

with deeper reflections, where one is involved directly. It is addressed with the

secondary reflection. Thus, one can see how it is of great help to not simply go for

the primary level of reflection, as this would be somehow superficial. What is far

important is that one goes deeper into that secondary level, in order to attain a

deeper knowledge of the self. Thus, the human being is not a problem, the human

being is a mystery.

Indisponibilité and Disponibilité

The importance of the human person is very much highlighted in Gabriel

Marcel’s philosophy. With this, Marcel analyzed the human being and came up

with a conclusion that human beings are being-in-situation. Marcel states, “But on

the other hand this tension is quite at the opposite pole from what I have at

various times called, and shall here call again, intersubjectivity.” 146 The situation

of the human being is very contributory to the shaping of the human person.

Aguas explains:

One’s situation determines the intricate web of human relations that he finds
himself involved with at any given moment of his human existence. The
person therefore not an spectator of life – his life or the life of other human
beings. One is not a spectator of the world, but rather involved in every affair
that shapes and define one’s life.147

146
Marcel, The Mystery of Being: Reflection and Mystery Volume I, 117.
147
Jove Jim Aguas, “The Filipino Value of Pakikipagkapwa-Tao Vis-à-vis Gabriel
Marcel’s Notion of Creative Fidelity and Disponibilité,” in Scientia: The Research Journal of the
College of Arts & Sciences, (Manila: San Beda College, 2016), 5. This journal article is
downloaded from the World Wide Web.
 UNIVERSITY OF SANTO TOMAS FACULTY OF ARTS AND LETTERS PAGE
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Thus, human beings must be inter-subjective and have a sense of

togetherness and belongingness in the society. Aguas adds, “It may be our first

and last encounter but somehow a “spark of spirituality” is ignited. On occasions

like this we have lingered for a moment to the threshold of intersubjectivity, the

realm of existence to which the preposition “with” applies.”148

It is quite clear that Marcel discussed that a certain sense of belonging and

participation is vivid to human beings as a being-in-situation. To be a being-in-

situation also requires a creative activity for the individual. There must always be

a creative activity which usually involves others or requires the being to be

involved in a certain phenomenon. Marcel states, “In practice we usually sin

because of our inability to see ourselves, or – less often if we have managed to

reach such objectivity – through our failure to maintain that contact with

ourselves that we should always have with our fellow-man.”149

For this reason, Marcel notes that one must not delve into an egoistic

tendency of the person. One must not take pride of oneself and detach their own

being from the society. One must not become unavailable or indisponible. Thus,

indisponibilité or unavailability deviates from Marcel’s intersubjective

relationship. There is an objectification in being indisponible. Marcel states:

If I treat a ‘Thou’as a ‘He’, I reduce the other to being only nature; an

animated object which works in some ways and not in others. If, on the
contrary, I treat the other as ‘Thou’, I treat him and apprehend him qua

148
Ibid., 8.
149
Gabriel Marcel, Creative Fidelity, (New York: Noonday Press, 1970), 47.
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freedom. I apprehend him qua freedom because he is also freedom and not
only nature.150

It states that human beings have the transcendent nature in their existence.

It means that one is not isolated or self-contained. This means that the experience

of transcendence comes from the subject’s own experiences both in a personal

manner and in experiences with others. With this, the Marcelian concept of

disponibilité is very much appreciated. Disponibilité is defined as openness,

permeability to the other or spiritual availability. 151 It is understood that to be

available is to believe in the other and to place one’s self at the other’s disposal. 152

Aguas explains, “For Marcel disponibilité or availability does not involve

being passively or instrumentally used by another person, but rather, it involves

responding in complete freedom to a directed appeal; it means being receptive to

an appeal addressed to me as a person, not as an object.”153 With this, one can see

that availability is more than just a commitment but a claim of a human being.

Thus, availability can be connected to presence which explicates the “here-ness”

of an individual.

Therefore, disponibilité evokes shared experiences since it urges human

being to be available so that they can be immersed into situation with other human

beings. To have a sense of availability removes the egoistic tendencies of the

150
Marcel, Being and Having, 106-107.
151
See Marcel, Creative Fidelity, xxvii.
152
See Aguas, “The Filipino Value of Pakikipagkapwa-Tao Vis-à-vis Gabriel Marcel’s
Notion of Creative Fidelity and Disponibilité,” 14.
153
Ibid., 15.
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individual. Availability urges the human person to be more connected with other

human beings.

Creative Fidelity

Gabriel Marcel states, “It is real fidelity when it is truly creative.” 154 This

statement explains the whole essence of Marcel’s concept of creative fidelity. He

wants a commitment or certain fidelity which make people to have a more

intimate or closer relationship with others.

In simple terms, fidelity is often related with faithfulness and commitment.

These words have been very much related for anyone. However, Marcel had the

concept of creative fidelity in which he gave emphasis in his works. With this, he

explains that fidelity, by looking at this definition, can easily be connected with

constancy. A sense of being constant in relationship. Marcel regards constancy as

the “rational skeleton of fidelity.”155 However, Marcel accentuated that fidelity

must be more than just a perseverance in a certain goal and it must not lose

contact in reality. As constancy pertains more to the self, Marcel wants to further

look at the realm of presence which involves others more. Thus, one must be

present for the other or for thou.156

Moreover, one must not be faithful in a relationship, such as marriage,

only because of duty or obligation for this defeats the purpose of fidelity. Fidelity

154
Marcel, Creative Fidelity, 168.
155
Ibid., 153.
156
See Ibid., 154.
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must have the aspect of spontaneity. With this, fidelity is genuine. The

commitment that one makes must not be put into question if this is the case. The

volition of the person is very much exercised out of freedom. It is not forced. This

kind of fidelity is what Marcel calls creative fidelity.

The ground of fidelity is the initial assurance that one has given. With this,

there is an imperative that one must know one’s own self first before making a

commitment. This is the only means to have a genuine fidelity, it is to have the

element of sincerity.

In addition to, Marcel discussed absolute fidelity which is fidelity to God.

He explained that this kind of fidelity makes the other fidelities possible. Absolute

fidelity requires a sense of humility to the individuals because of a fidelity to

something higher. Also, this humility is needed in any fidelity to have a better

participation and belongingness. It is through participation in this absolute fidelity

that one can really have a creative fidelity.

The Mystery of the Family

The Family as a Mystery

Gabriel Marcel talked about The Mystery of the Family during one of his

sessions in the Gifford Lectures. He provided points that can help one to look at

family in a different light. He suggests that the family must not be dealt as a

problem; rather, a mystery. He says:

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The family does not suggest just one problem, but an infinity of problems of
every description which could not be considered as a whole; you have already
heard several of them discussed with a competence which I lack. But it is
above all because the family seems to me to belong to an order of realities, or
I should rather say of presences, which can only create problems in so far as
we are mistaken, not so much with regard to their special character, as to the
way in which we human beings are involved in them. 157

In here, one can see that Marcel looks at the family as a mystery because

of his notion of mystery. Problems are facts exterior to one’ existence, whereas

the family is a mystery because its reality is bound up with one’s existence.

Realities which unquestionably influence one’s existence. That is why Marcel

compared the mystery of the family to the mystery of the body and soul which he

considers as the root of presences. He said that the family is a mystery because

one is talking about presence not outside of the family but the family in itself.

In Marcel’s comparison of the body and soul to the family as a mystery,

one can see the reason for such comparison. Marcel pointed out a deep similarity

between the union of the body and soul and the mystery of the family. He

explains that union of the body and soul is not something he cannot place in front

of him or consider as an object because there is a certain fundamental unity

between the two.158 Sweetman explains, “As with the union of body and soul, I

cannot make of family relationships a pure idea to be placed in front of me to be

157
Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, 68.
158
See Ibid., 69.
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considered as an object without misunderstanding their essential nature.”159

Marcel says:

This unity is less a given principle than a giving one, because it is the root
from which springs the fact of my presence to myself and the presence of all
else to me. Thus it encroaches upon its own data and, invading them, passes
beyond the range of a simple problem. It is in this very definitive sense that
the family is a mystery, and it is for this reason that we cannot properly and
without confusion treat it simply as a question to be solved. 160

With this perspective, one can look also at the family as something that is

bound within one’s existence. Marcel suggests that one should look at the family

as something not outside of oneself. The family is a mystery which is something

that encroaches the person. It is not exterior to the person. Sweetman explicates,

“It is more accurate to say that I am involved in the “mystery” of the family.”161

For Marcel, the family is something wherein one has a vital involvement and deep

connection. The mystery of the family is likened to the mystery of the body and

soul because this comparison suggests that it is the root of all presences. The

presence which Marcel would categorize is the presence that is present to oneself

and others or to one’s presence. This fact shows that “…the family is also the root

of presences too close and too far away to be found in the objective knowledge

zone, in the realm of facts.”162 To supplicate further this claim of the family as a

159
Brendan Sweetman, "Book Review on HOMO VIATOR: INTRODUCTION TO THE
METAPHYSIC OF HOPE," in American Catholic Philosophical Quarterly, (Virginia: Philosophy
Documentation Center, 2012), 713.
160
Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, 69.
161
Sweetman, "Book Review on HOMO VIATOR: INTRODUCTION TO THE
METAPHYSIC OF HOPE," 713.
162
Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the Asian
Context,” 71.
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86

mystery, Marcel used the example of the child as the center of the family. He

says:

On the one hand, when I speak of my family, the primitive idea this word
evokes is that of a certain pattern or constellation of which, as a child, I
spontaneously take it for granted that I am the centre. Am I not the object of
all those solicitous glances which sometimes touch me, sometimes overwhelm
and sometimes irritate me, glances of which not a shadow escapes me for they
all seem to be aimed at me personally in the same way as the voices whose
infections pass from gentleness to severity, from persuasion to threats. 163

Marcel points that the child look at oneself as the center of the discussion

in the family. A discussion which the parents are mostly concerned. He also

emphasized that the child as the center fortifies the nearness of the experience of

family to a child. Moreover, Marcel used this concept to open a new discussion

wherein he tried to identify the relationships that were involved in the family. He

says:

It is only little by little that I discern the relationships which bind these beings
to each other, thereby discovering that each has his own life, his inviolable
relationships with all the others, and also that for some of them I am a cause
of preoccupation and a subject of discussion when I am not present, so that, I
only receive a partial presentation, an adaptation for my personal use, of
thoughts and feelings which I arouse in these beings of whom only one side,
and that always the same, is turned towards me. 164

Even though the text seems complicated, Marcel says that there are new

relationships between the child and his family members when they interact. In

their relationship, a confirmation of one’s existence is being made. A

confirmation that family members somehow confirm each other’s existence. With

the child as the result of the binding of the parents, one can confirm that the child

163
Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, 70.
164
Ibid., 70.
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is a result of an expression of life which the parents made. Marcel says, “. . . I

incarnate the reply to the reciprocal appeal which two beings flung to each other

in the unknown and which, without suspecting it, they flung beyond themselves to

an incomprehensible power whose only expression is the bestowal of life.”165

Because of such connection between the parents and the child, there is an

indubitable and inevitable relationship between them. Marcel says, “I am this

reply, unformed at first, but who, as I become articulate, will know myself to be a

reply and a judgement.”166 He explained that the role of the child is something the

child will realize as the child grows. The child’s identity is revealed in the course

of time. The child’s roots will be gradually revealed as the child grows and have

the knowledge to know such reality. This is explicated further by Marcel when he

said: “Yes, I am irresistibly led to make the discovery that by being what I am, I

myself am a judgement upon those who have called me into being; and thereby

infinite new relationships will be established between them and me.”167

However, Dy explains, “…that the family is also far from the child

because the child is also the link to an indefinite network, stretching back beyond

the child’s life, whose origins cannot simply be spoken of as causes of which the

165
Ibid., 70-71.
166
Ibid., 71.
167
Ibid., 71.
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child is the product, because the child is intimately though obscurely and invisibly

related to them.”168 Marcel says:

I can discern enough, however, to enable me to follow this umbilical cord of

my temporal antecedents, and to see it taking shape before me yet stretching
back beyond my life in an indefinite network which, if traced to its limits
would probably be co-extensive with the human race itself. My family, or
rather my lineage, is the succession of historical processes by which the
human species has become individualised into the single creature that I am.
All that is possible for me to recognise in the growing and impressive
indetermination is that all these unknown beings, who stretch between me and
my unimaginable origins whatever they may be, are not simply the causes of
which I am the effect or the product: there is no doubt that the terms cause and
effect have no meaning here. Between my ancestors and myself a far more
obscure and intimate relationship exists. I share with them as they do with me
– invisibly; they are consubstantial with me and I with them. 169

Marcel discussed that the relationship between the child and the ancestors,

who have a very far relationship with the child, pertains that there is vagueness in

their relationship because of the lack of closeness. Their relationship is very far

because one will look at them historically far from the child’s nearest family

lineage which are the parents. However, even though these ancestors are very

distant origins, there is an intimate relationship that exists precisely because of the

fact that they came from the same lineage. The same family roots that they have is

the main connection between the child and the distant ancestors. That even though

they are already distant, there is something that still binds their relationship.

Marcel simplified this claim of the family is a mystery by discussing that

the family is bound to one’s existence. It is not a reality which is far from the

168
Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the Asian
Context,” 72.
169
Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, 71.
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subject “I am.” He also explained it with the child as the center of the family. He

explicates:

By this inextricable combination of things from the past and things to come,
the mystery of the family is defined a mystery in which I am involved from
the mere fact that I exist: here, at the articulation of a structure of which I can
only distinguish the first traces, of a feeling which modulates between the
intimate and the metaphysical and of an oath to be taken or refused binding
me to make my own the vague desire around which the magical fomentation
of my personal existence is centred. Such is the situation in which I find
myself, I, a creature precipitated into the tumult; thus am I introduced into this
impenetrable world. 170

Sweetman explains this by saying, “To evoke the mystery of the family is

not to solve a conceptual problem but to try to recapture a reality, and to awaken

the soul to its presence.”171 This evocation which Marcel wants to have is difficult

to accomplish because he wants one to rediscover the reality in which one will

have a sudden awareness of having rediscovered this reality. Also, this evocation

is difficult to accomplish because of the contemporary scene that is very evident

which is constituted by problems of divorce, birth control, choice of lover and

whatnot. Hence, the social crisis that the society is in now is linked to the

blindness of the value of family. These abovementioned situations are what

Marcel calls as negative evidences which constitutes the blindness of the value of

family and makes evocation difficult.

These evidences remind one to go back to one’s roots – one’s family.

Marcel wants everyone to remember that behind all the historical tragedies and

170
Ibid., 71.
171
Sweetman, "Book Review on HOMO VIATOR: INTRODUCTION TO THE
METAPHYSIC OF HOPE," 713-714.
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90

rising achievements brought by modernization, a reality must be recaptured. This

reality that one must recapture is one’s family. Marcel wants everyone to look at

one’s family and look at its importance. The preservation of family life is what

Marcel wants to remind us. He reminds us further that this can still be seen and

also reawaken in each individual’s spirit. He says, “The family is not an

institution which has lost its meaning, it is still a living reality.” 172 This living

reality will only be realized if one will look around and reflect deeper. This

statement of Marcel urges everyone to look at those who preserved the

importance of family life. He urges everyone to also portray what those who

preserved the meaning of family life did. Moreover, Marcel reminds one to first

look at the reality of life wherein there are challenges that tested the sacredness of

family life.

Marcel presented the painful truths that test the meaning of the family life.

One must be aware of the crisis that the family is in. He even used the statistical

increase of divorce, abortive practices and other factors which changed one’s

outlook on the importance of family. With this, Marcel urges everyone to look at

these painful facts and reflect on one’s position or outlook in the family. Marcel

says, “What is needed first of all is that by reflection, the only weapon at our

disposal, we should project as clear a light as possible upon the tragic situation in

which so many are living.” 173 In one’s reflection of family life, one will realize

172
Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, 72.
173
Ibid., 75.
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the importance of life. Marcel showed what can influence one to have an attitude

in life and this is one’s principle in life. One’s principles in life have great impact

in one’s life. To have such attitude, one must also look at one’s principles. In

order to have respect in life and family, one must trace it back to one’s principles.

Marcel stated a sense of holiness which one must have to have reverence in life.

He says:

In a fine passage, recently quoted by Mr. Albert Begum, the great Swiss
author Ramuz, writing some years ago, spoke of a certain sense of holiness
"which is the most precious thing the West has known, a certain attitude of
reverence for existence by which we must understand everything which exists,
oneself and the world outside oneself, the mysteries which surround us, the
mystery of death, and the mystery of birth, a certain veneration in the presence
of life, a certain love, and (why not acknowledge it?) a certain state of poetry
which the created world produces in us". It is precisely this sense of holiness,
this fundamental reverence for life and for death, itself considered as the
nocturnal phase of life, it is this state of poetry produced in us by the created
world which, during the last decades, and more particularly of recent years,
has given way to the pressure of pride, of pretentiousness, of boredom and
despair; and for reasons, which will very easily appear on analysis, it is in the
domain of family reality that the dire consequences of this giving way have
first become apparent, actually threatening more and more directly the
integrity of the individual considered in his structure and his own particular
destiny. 174

This sense of holiness and fundamental reverence for life and for death is

what Marcel wants one to have. Marcel wants one to set aside things that will help

one to realize such. He wants one to withdraw himself from the pressure that the

reality outside one’s family presents. He wants one to first look at family and be

formed by family members to have this attitude towards life. He wants one to

have a sense of holiness which is the fundamental reverence for life which one

should have and learned from his family. This is fortified by Sweetman by saying,

174
Ibid., 75-76.
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“Marcel agrees that the family understood in this sense is under threat in modern

culture where the sense of holiness, the fundamental reverence for life and for

death, and authentic love, have given way to the pressures of pride,

pretentiousness, exploitation, boredom, despair, and cynicism, variously

expressed in a mindless desire for escapist novelty.”175

The Family as Value and Presence

Marcel also wants everyone to realize that the family is not only a value

but also a living presence. He says:

If the family is a reality it cannot be simply expressed or objectively

established like a simple succession. Let us even insist that it is infinitely more
than what appears from pure and simple entries in civil registers. It exists only
on condition that it is apprehended not only as a value but as a living
presence.176

Because of this, Marcel regards the family as both a value and a presence.

First one, the family is a value. One can trace the way the family is a value

through one’s sentiment during childhood. This is the pride of belonging to a

certain community or group. He says:

A value first of all. I think that here we must make an attempt to relive but in
such a way that we think it out and elucidate it an experience which was
shared by most of us when we were children, an experience which it is
actually very difficult not to distort when we try to express it, because it
includes a certain pride. This pride if we are not careful might seem to be
confused with vanity, but this is a degradation of it. We are proud to belong to
a certain community because we feel that something of its lustre falls upon
us.177

175
Sweetman, "Book Review on HOMO VIATOR: INTRODUCTION TO THE
METAPHYSIC OF HOPE," 714.
176
Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope,76.
177
Ibid., 76.
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This pride is a certain response made from depths of one’s being to an

investiture of which it behooves one to prove oneself worthy. 178 This concept of

pride depicts that pride must be constructive and not aim to impress another.

Thus, pride must help one to have a foundation in order to establish one’s

conduct. On the other hand, Marcel pointed out that pride is not like vanity,

wherein one turn outwards, in order to preserve unity. Dy supports this claim by

saying, “Pride is constructive, helping me with a foundation for my conduct, and

therefore should not be mistaken for vanity, which is sterile because it turns

toward the rest of the world to impress it.”179 With this discussion of pride,

Marcel suggests:

But it is through this sentiment of pride that we can trace in what way the
family is a value. It is a recognised hierarchy, and I do not merely have to
integrate myself into it by recognising the authority vested in its leader; I have
actually been caught up in it from the origin. I am involved in it, my very
being is rooted in it. This hierarchy cannot fail, this authority cannot be
abolished without the family bringing about its own destruction as a value. 180

Through pride, one can trace family as a value. Family is a recognized

hierarchy and authority in which one does not have to integrate oneself into it

because one has been caught up in it from the very beginning. The family is

already with a person. One can say that the family is something to be proud of

because one has roots in which one belongs. Dy explains this thought by Marcel

by saying, “Failure to recognize this hierarchy of authority in the family is

178
See Ibid., 76.
179
Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the Asian
Context,” 72.
180
Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope,76.
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tantamount to losing its value.”181 On the other hand, Marcel suggests that the

family is also a living presence. As presence, the family is a “protective skin”

against the foreign, threatening, hostile world. He states:

Each of us, with the exception of a few rare and unhappy individuals, has, at
least on certain occasions, been able to prove by experience the existence of
the family as a protective skin placed between himself and a world which is
foreign, threatening, hostile to him. And there is no doubt that nothing is more
painful in the destiny of an individual than the tearing away of this tissue,
either by a sudden or a slow and continuous process, carried out by the pitiless
hands of life or death, or rather of that nameless power of which life and death
are but alternating aspects.182

When one is taken away from one’s family, it is the most painful

experience because one is being separated from the “protective skin” one has.

This “protective skin” is very evident in family life. The awareness of this

primitive privileged “us” in the family which is inseparable from a home of one’s

own. Marcel points out:

We must make ourselves aware of the primitive us, this archetypal and
privileged us which is only normally realised in family life. This us is in
general inseparable from a home of our own. It is certainly not by chance if all
the forces which have been working towards the destruction of the family
house have at the same time been preparing for the overthrow of the family
itself. This privileged us cannot, even on the humblest levels of this life of
consciousness, be separated from a permanent habitation which is ours and
which in the course of our existence has gradually become consubstantial with
us.183

This primitive ‘us’ is what can help strengthen the family. This awareness

of this primitive privileged “us” in the family connects the home of our own with

permanent habitation. There are familiar objects which offers a sense of perpetual

181
Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the Asian
Context,” 72.
182
Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, 77.
183
Ibid., 77.
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95

life, an ‘always’. This consciousness of an ‘always’ is what makes one familiar to

one’s roots. As Dy explicates, “This “protective skin” is actually the archetypal

and privileged us of family life.”184 Marcel showed an example of an instance

which a child experiences a trauma or heartbreak and this is during a house-move.

Marcels says:

It is brought upon a child and often enough even upon an adult if he has kept
the childlike character, the tenderness of tissue which persists in some people
throughout all the battering and bruising of personal experience. But inversely
we must recognise that all which tends to destroy the sense of a habitation and
of permanence in the surroundings of a being in process of formation will
contribute directly to the weakening of his consciousness of the family
itself. 185

This event can cause a child to feel alone. It can result to disappearance of

family consciousness. Marcel said that the family tends to become simply an

abstract idea instead of the very essence of the atmosphere a human being almost

unconsciously inhales, an essence which imperceptibly impregnates and saturates

his thinking, his appreciation and his love.186 However, Marcel stated that one of

the chief causes of the disappearance of family consciousness is people moving

from one place to another but Marcel also presented an objection to this claim. 187

Marcel’s answer is that in the growth of being in the family, the outward is also

the inward which makes the two instances as inseparable. The disappearance of

one’s home is inseparable from fading away of traditions because the home is the

184
Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the Asian
Context,” 72-73.
185
Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, 78.
186
See Ibid., 78.
187
See Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the
Asian Context,” 73.
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96

most basic setting to form and mold the character of the human being. Without

this, the development of the human person is in danger. The family traditions

continue family bonds and secure the bond between many generations. Hence,

every family produces a certain ritual or practice within their own family to

secure solid foundations that will last.

With this, Marcel wants everyone to have strong foundation in the family.

The family must not be disintegrated. Marcel states that an extraordinary

acceleration of the rhythm of life prevents slow sedimentation of habitus which is

necessary for family. 188 For this reason, Marcel emphasized that technological

progress has also effected to the loss of human substance which can be seen

clearly in different areas such as craftsmanship in human relationships,

standardization of individuals, little respect for individuals and local customs. He

stated further: “In addition there is a close connection between the acceleration of

the rhythm of life and the appearance of a humanity which is inwardly more and

more impoverished, more and more interchangeable.”189 To simplify, Marcel

accentuates that this close relationship between acceleration of rhythm of life and

destitution will lead to a realization that technological progress also affected the

sanctity of family life.

Marcel explains further that American cities are prototypes of preservative

processes to escape from cosmic rhythm and to substitute caricatures of

188
See Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, 79.
189
Ibid., 80.
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eternity.190 These examples are based on the fast-paced style of living. However,

this human rhythm tends to become the machines and automatons, which are not

super-organic but sub-organic.191 Thus, these instances can result to an experience

of inexpressible depressing sadness in great cities which can result to the decay of

the family. This sadness concerns the very conditions of human life which can

weaken the ties between lovers due to a loss of transparency or openness in the

intimacy of couples and misunderstandings of the married couples. Thus, Marcel

points out that the family has been attacked in the double spring from whence it

derives its special vitality: fidelity and hope. 192

Marcel also used an example of a woman in a depopulated village who is

complaining on monotony and lack of amusements. He states that the need for

amusement, need for diversion, is bound up with ebbing of life’s tide. 193 This

ebbing of life’s tide is wherein the human being imagines that the human being

regains life by seizing every occasion of experiencing violent sensations or

stimulants.194 These stimulants, which Marcel stated, supposedly protect one from

boredom. This boredom is an escape from oneself which is also lined with the ego

which is an ego who wants to fulfil oneself or to escape. Without the sense of

fulfilment, this ego experiences a huge void. Marcel emphasizes that anyone who

is absorbed does not experience this void: he is caught up in plenitude, life

190
See Ibid., 81.
191
See Ibid., 81.
192
See Ibid., 82.
193
See Ibid., 83.
194
See Ibid., 83.
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envelops him and protects him.195 As Dy explicated this by stating that what

Marcel wants is for everyone to start with the perspective of the ebbing of life or

consciousness is a repudiation of one’s fundamental commitments. 196

On Marriage and the Pact between Person and Life

The family as mystery of the incarnation of the pact between the person

and life points out that the pact, or nuptial bond, between person and life is within

the person’s power to untie but when the person does so, the person loses the

notion of existence.197 Marcel says:

It seems as though it were necessary to postulate the existence of a pact, I

should almost say a nuptial bond, between man and life; it is in man's power
to untie this bond, but in so far as he denies the pact he tends to lose the notion
of his existence. What is exactly to be understood by this bond? I may be
accused of being led away by a metaphor, of unduly exaggerating
abstractions. But however we interpret this fact philosophically, we must
recognise that man is a being and the only one we know capable of adopting
an attitude towards his life, not only his own life, but life in itself. He is then
not a mere living being, he is, or rather he has become, something more, and
we might say that it is through this faculty for adopting an attitude that he is a
spirit.198

From this point of view, one can see the person as the only being capable

of adopting an attitude towards life itself. This viewpoint is another expression of

transcendence over life and death. The pact of the person and life shows promises

of life and the person’s response to life. With this, one can realize that it is

precisely in the family that this pact is worked out. Dy explains this by saying,

195
See Ibid., 84.
196
See Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the
Asian Context,” 74.
197
See Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, 84.
198
Ibid., 84.
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“The pact between the human being and life is the confidence that the person

promises life – which makes it possible for one to give oneself to life – and the

response of life to this confidence.”199 Marcel used marriage to explain further

this pact between person and life. He says:

The essential act which constitutes marriage is obviously not the pure and
simple mating which is only a human act, common alike to men and animals;
it is not just a momentary union, but one which is to last; it is something
which is established. A family is founded, it is erected like a monument whose
hewn stone is neither the satisfaction of an instinct, nor the yielding to an
impulse, nor the indulgence of a caprice. 200

This example of marriage emphasizes that it is marriage that start a family

whose ties will last. Marcel also mentioned that there are many false marriages. 201

He explicated that in false marriages, there is a legal union but no sacramental

character of union between the couple. Thus, divorce can readily and easily be

admitted by the couple in false marriages. However, Marcel says, “It is more than

probable that in a society where divorce is not only accepted, but regarded in

many circles as a more or less normal contingency, a time must inevitably come

when the irresponsibility with which so many unbelievers lightly and heedlessly

get married, is communicated from one to another until it infects even those who

by tradition, human respect or some remnant of faith are still impelled to take a

vow of fidelity in the presence of God, only to find out too late that by this

contradiction they are themselves caught in a trap from which it is not possible to

199
Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the Asian
Context,” 74.
200
Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, 85.
201
See Ibid., 85.
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100

escape except at the price of a scandalous renunciation or dishonourable

subterfuge.”202

Divorce makes an individual disregard the importance and sanctity of

marriage. That is why Marcel does not want one to look at marriage as a simple

contract because it would be like a temporary promise who can expire at a given

point in time.203 Marcel stated that the only condemnation of divorce that can be

justified is the condemnation which they must recognize as being pronounced in

the name of their own will, a will so deep that they could not disown it without

denying their own natures.204

Marriage pertains to conjugal union. For Marcel, if conjugal union finds

its consummation and sanction in the appearance of a new being, it is absurd to

think that the same couple should become free again whenever their sentiments

change.205 With this, couples are no longer united by a reciprocal common accord

in which they can easily annul rather couples are united by the existence of a

Being for whom they are responsible and who has rights over them. If this is not

the case, Marcel says that this situation can be compared easily to a formalism

that easily slides to animalism or naturalism wherein both have a common

element and this is lack of generosity.

202
Ibid., 85.
203
See Ibid., 86.
204
See Ibid., 86.
205
See Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the
Asian Context,” 74.
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101

From both extremes, one loses sight of the unity of the family. Unity of

the family is not possible without generosity of the heads of the family. This is

fundamental generosity. For Marcel, the family not created by man who generates

by chance, produces offspring like animals without accepting consequences of his

acts – he produces a brood, not a family. 206 Without this fundamental generosity,

one can easily conceive of marriage only as association of individuals. If family is

a reality, it should regulate itself in some way to procreation. Marcel says:

It is obvious on the one hand, as we have seen, that where the family is
conceived as a reality any idea of marriage as a mere association of individual
interests must be ruled out. It seems as though the marriage must in some way
regulate itself in relation to the offspring, for whose coming preparation has to
be made; but it is not less certain, and this observation is of the greatest
importance here, that a marriage concluded simply with a view to procreation
is not only in danger of degeneration because it does not rest on a firm
spiritual basis, but, still more, it is an attack upon what it most worthy of
reverence in the specifically human order.207

Marcel accentuates that marriage is a creative testimony. Marcel

concluded that a marriage which is only in view of procreation is in danger of

deterioration. This perspective is a violation of the dignity of the person. It points

out that the union of two persons is just a means of reproduction. Marcel

emphasizes that it is not true that procreation is the end of marriage. 208

Procreation fortifies the pact between the person and life. Moreover, marital act

and procreation are two complementary phases of persons as creative beings. To

simply put, Marcel’s notion of “creative” denotes contribution of each to the

206
See Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, 87.
207
Ibid., 87.
208
See Ibid., 88.
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universal work in the world, like that of an artist who is the bearer of some

message the human being must communicate and pass on. 209

Marcel said that on the human level, the operation of the flesh ought to be

the hallowing of a certain inward fulfilment, an out-flowing not forced but

springing from experience of plenitude.210 The operation of the flesh which

Marcel points out states that it must be an act of thanksgiving which is a creative

testimony. From this point of view, the difference between husbands and wives

who secure themselves an heir to succeed them and husbands and wives who sow

the seed of life without ulterior motive by radiating the life flame permeating

them.211 These observations explicates the meaning of the sacred bond which is

the person’s commitment to form life.

The Family as Mystery of Fidelity and Hope

Moreover, one can be able to realize that the mystery of the family can be

said to be the mystery of fidelity and hope. Sweetman states, “Marcel offers

similar analyses in essays devoted to the subject of fidelity in human

relationships, and on immortality, in which he tries to show by probing each

subject that there is an inexpressible but rational aspect to unconditional

209
See Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the
Asian Context,” 75.
210
See Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, 88.
211
See Ibid., 88.
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commitments that points toward the transcendent.”212 With this, one can realize

that the values of fidelity and hope is important in Marcel’s philosophy. To

understand it in the family context, Marcel says:

Perhaps we shall now be able to discuss why the mystery of the family can
truly be said to be a mystery of fidelity and hope. Analysis shows that the
crisis in our family institutions can be traced to a deeper and deeper
misunderstanding of the virtues through which the unification of our destiny
both terrestrial and super-terrestrial is consummated.213

Marcel invites everyone to have a deeper understanding of the family.

This disaffection in the family that Marcel was saying is said to be due to a deeper

misunderstanding of the virtues of fidelity and hope. With this, Marcel discusses

the mystery of fidelity and hope to understand further the family’s mystery. The

crisis in family institutions can be traced to deeper misunderstanding of the

virtues of the family through which the union of one’s destiny is concluded. With

this, Marcel explicates this situation through discussing the mystery of fidelity

and hope. It is quite clear that many will regard that fidelity is often likened to

faithfulness. This faithfulness is what one often asks to a family member in each

family. One is often asked to become faithful with one’s family. Marcel says:

First of all a fundamental error or illusion must be disposed of concerning

fidelity. We are too much inclined to consider it as a mere safeguard, an
inward resolution which purposes simply to preserve the existing order. But in
reality the truest fidelity is creative. To be sure of it, the best way is to strive
to grasp the very complex bond which unites a child to its parents. There we
have a relationship which is always exposed to a double risk of
deterioration.214

212
Sweetman, "Book Review on HOMO VIATOR: INTRODUCTION TO THE
METAPHYSIC OF HOPE," 714.
213
Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, 90.
214
Ibid., 90.
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Fidelity is not a mere safeguard to preserve an existing order but, for

Marcel, true fidelity is something which is creative. As Dy explains, “Fidelity is

not to be misconstrued as an inward resolution to preserve an existing order.”215

Genuine fidelity is creative and this can be envisaged in the complex bond of a

child to its parents. The bond between parents and their child is unprotected to the

risks of deterioration. Marcel explicates the relationship between the parents and

their child through narrow traditionalism. He explained that narrow traditionalism

is wherein a child is entirely in debt of those who gave life. Moreover, they treat

the child as creditor because they look at life as a burden. Marcel applied this to

birth control practitioners, who out of pity for possible descendants, rejects the

chance to live by the child.216 The pity is given on those who are not yet born, and

the value of life is measured in terms of pleasures and comforts of the individual.

Thus, life is a possibility for good or evil. Marcel discusses further creative

fidelity by saying:

So then in the end everything comes back to the spirit which at the same time
is to be incarnated or established, and maintained, the spirit spreading beyond
the self; and it is precisely this spirit which is expressed by the words
"creative fidelity". The more our hearts as well as our intellects keep before
them the idea of our lineage, of the forbears to whom we are answerable
because in the last analysis it is from them that we receive the deposit which
must be transmitted the more this spirit will succeed in freeing itself from the
shroud of selfishness and cowardice in which a humanity, more and more cut
off from its ontological roots, is in danger of becoming gradually
enveloped. 217

215
Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the Asian
Context,” 75.
216
See Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, 90.
217
Ibid., 92.
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With this perspective, one can understand creative fidelity more. Creative

fidelity is keeping one’s heart and intellect before the lineage to whom one is

answerable, because it is from them that one receives the deposit to be

transmitted. The more one keeps the spirit of creative fidelity, the more one free

oneself from selfishness and cowardice. However, the more one loses this spirit,

the more will the family just become a simple association with common interests.

Hence, the family loses its relevance in comparison with other social institutions.

Marcel’s creative fidelity does not pertain to any particular religious

belief. He said that there exists a form of Christianity, overemphasizing

eschatological, that undermines the soul’s love of life.218 Sadly, Marcel explained

that this religio has given way to pressures of the technological progress that one

loses sight of the natural morality and order recognized by one’s forefathers. 219

This will lead one to a realization of a need to restore this religio. Marcel does not

only want one to have fidelity or faithfulness but he wants one to have a deeper

fidelity. This fidelity is creative fidelity. He urges one to be open to the call of this

creative fidelity and be ready to answer the call.

On Child and Hope

Apart from Marcel’s discussion on creative fidelity, he also accentuated

the importance of child formation. He says, “But this possibility is only achieved

in so far as the being to whom it is granted appears from the moment of his birth
218
See Ibid., 92.
219
See Ibid., 93.
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as a subject, that is to say as able to enjoy and above all to suffer, and capable of

one day attaining to the consciousness of what he has at first only felt.” 220

Procreation transmits life that can actualize the possibilities that it produces. It can

produce good and bad. Dy supports this by saying, “The truth is that life itself is

neither a blessing nor a curse but a possibility, a chance for good and evil.”221

The child must be formed well so that when the child grows up and

develops the child’s own attitude towards life, the child can appreciate this

challenge to form the offspring that is to come and acknowledge the effort of the

parents. As explicated by Dy, “The child must be formed with this opportunity so

that when he grows up and develops his own attitude towards life, he can

appreciate this challenge and acknowledge his debt.”222 The parents must teach

the child well. Hence, this is an explication of the debt and credit between parents

and children. With this, Marcel looks at this idea and says:

It is, then, the sacred duty of parents to behave in such a way towards their
child, that one day it will have good reason to acknowledge that it is in their
debt. But if ever they are to be justified in considering that they have a credit
here it will be exclusively in so far as they have succeeded in discharging a
debt themselves, which to tell the truth cannot be likened to a payment of
account but rather to the production of a work of art where their only share is
the laying of the foundations.223

The debt and the credit on the parents and the child’s side urges the duty

to have proper formation. This can urge both to have a relationship wherein the

220
Ibid., 91.
221
Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the Asian
Context,” 76.
222
Ibid., 76.
223
Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, 91.
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child is being formed and the parents will have the sense of responsibility toward

the child. As Dy states, “The debt and credit are as much on the parents as on the

child’s side.”224 In addition to, it seems that there is a deafness to call of creative

fidelity which Marcel traced from a human being’s loss of sense of hope. Marcel

says:

I said that hope cannot be separated either from a sense of communion or from
a more or less conscious and explicit dependence on a power which
guarantees this communion itself. "I hope in Thee, for us", such is the
authentic formula of hope. But the more this "for us" tends to confine itself to
what concerns the self instead of opening onto the infinite, the more hope
shrivels and deteriorates, and, in the domain of the family, the more it tends to
degenerate into a short-sighted ambition and to fix its attention on ways of
safeguarding and increasing a certain Having which actually need not take a
grossly material form. But I added that it is only by breaking through Having
that hope can effect an entrance into our soul. 225

From this, one can draw out that hope is linked to a sense of communion:

“I hope in Thee for us.”226 The more this “for us” can be seen in the family. As

Dy explains, “Authentic hope is linked to a sense of communion, an openness to

an infinite power which grounds our communion, our us.”227 Hope is linked to

communion which is an openness to an infinite power that constitutes

togetherness and belongingness. Hope fades when it is limited only to the self. In

the family, hope must break through the state of having in order for hope to be of

help to the person and enter the very soul of the individual. Marcel defines having

by saying, “By the term Having I did not mean exclusively the visible possessions

224
Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the Asian
Context,” 76.
225
Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, 92-93.
226
Ibid., 60.
227
Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the Asian
Context,” 77.
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of which each of us can make an inventory, but rather the armour of good or bad

habits, opinions and prejudices which makes us impervious to the breath of the

spirit, everything in us which paralyses what the Apostle calls the liberty of the

children of God.”228

It is hope that veers away from the anxiety of modern living. Of the things

that are happening in the society, one is led to a realization that life is the

incarnation and the family is the meeting point of the vital and spiritual aspects of

life. That is why one must have an acknowledgement of Divine Fatherhood.

Marcel says:

It is natural that under such conditions the family should be choked between
the claims of two systems apparently opposed, but actually converging and
reinforcing each other. In fact, it only assumes its true value and dignity
through the functioning of a central relationship which cannot be affected by
any objective causality and which is the strictly religious relationship whose
mysterious and unique expression is found in the words divine fatherhood.229

From this discussion, one can know that hope is something that looks at

the journey of a person and have the family as the meeting point of the vital and

the spiritual. This is the reason why Marcel is against naturalism and materialism

because of the very fact that naturalism and materialism is a form of an arrogance

of an acknowledgement of a higher being and also the development of pride

which denies obedience. Dy fortifies this claim by saying, “Against naturalism

228
Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, 94.
229
Ibid., 95.
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and materialism, hope accepts the creature condition of the human being and

acknowledges the Divine Fatherhood.”230

The family veers away between these two systems because family

relationships need reference to a superhuman order. Humanity is only truly human

when it is supported by consecration which serves as a strong foundation in life.

In order to recover reverence for life, it is important to keep in mind that one must

start not from below but from above. This is the reason why hope accepts the

creature condition of the human being and acknowledges the Divine Fatherhood.

Marcel ends his lecture by saying:

When man, by denying the existence of God, denies his own, the spiritual
powers which are dissociated by his denial keep their primitive reality, but
disunited and detached they can no longer do anything but drive the beings of
flesh and soul back against each other in a despairing conflict those beings
which, had their union been safeguarded and preserved, would have gone
forward towards eternal life. What all this amounts to is that if, as is certain,
we have to recover to-day the sense of a certain fundamental reverence
towards Me, it cannot be by starting from below, that is to say from a biology
of racialism or eugenics infected with ill-will. On the contrary, only an
affirmation which reaches far beyond all empirical and objectively discernible
ways of living can gain for us a sense of life's fullness and, besides this, set
the seal of eternity upon the perpetually renewed act of creation, that act by
which the whole family preserves its being and grants to the soul, which it
forms and guides, the fearful power of completing or, alas, of repudiating it.231

This symbolizes that the family must have an affirmation and acceptance

of the existence of this Divine Father to preserve its existence. Thus, one must

have hope and look above in order to preserve the family.

230
Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the Asian
Context,” 77.
231
Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, 96-97.
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CHAPTER 4

Marcel’s The Mystery of the Family in the Filipino Context

Introduction

In the two previous chapters, the researcher explicated ideas that

contribute to the discussion in this chapter. Chapter 2 explained the traditional

Filipino family values and what happened to these values after modernization

became prominent. It explained how modernization affected some of the values of

the Filipino family. On the other hand, chapter 3 explicated the philosophical

thoughts of Gabriel Marcel. It explicated the concepts of Marcel which can be

seen in his essay, The Mystery of the Family. Also, it discussed Marcel’s The

Mystery of the Family.

This chapter contains the most important part of this research. The

researcher dedicates this chapter on re-appropriating Gabriel Marcel’s The

Mystery of the Family in the Filipino context. The chapter offers new lenses for

Filipinos to look at the family.

Marcel and the “Mystery of the Filipino Family”

The Filipino family has always been looked at as something that is

exceptional. It is always known that Filipinos give importance to the family. The

high respect that Filipinos are giving to the family shows that the family for

Filipinos are very much relevant due to a reality that everyone is a member of a
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111

specific family. Florentino Timbreza even states, “Filipinos are well known for

their family-centeredness.”232

Moreover, the Filipino family has been known throughout the years for the

values that characterizes it such as close family ties, deep religiosity, respect to

elders, faithfulness in the family and child-centeredness. These values make the

Filipino remarkable. These values solidify one’s perception of the Filipino family

for these values have been the basis for any person each time that they talk about

Filipino family. However, these values are changed due to the rise of

modernization. In the modern setting, these values are not really observed

anymore by Filipino families. There has been a change of focus in the family.

Modernization made people to be more focused on work in order to cope up with

the economic demands that the society has demanded. Medina et al. states:

With modernization, however, many changes are going on in Filipino society

which have affected the family. Among these are increased participation of
women in the labor force, the growth of mass media, transportation, and
communication; the unabated rural to urban migration; and outmigration of
Filipinos to other lands.233

This statement clearly shows how modernization made the Filipino family

veer away from its traditional values. The traditional family in which the father is

the only one working and the mother is the one taking care of the children has not

been applicable because of the situation that the family is in. With modernization,

232
Florentino Timbreza, Filipino Values Today, (Manila: National Bookstore Inc., 2005),
103.
233
Belen Medina et al., The Filipino Family: Emerging Structures and Arrangements,
(Quezon City: University of the Philippines, 1996), 2.
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112

poverty has become a problem and it made the traditional Filipino family values

to somehow be ‘unguarded’ due to the lack of focus on parenting because, mostly,

both parents in a family now work in order to survive. Somehow, the Filipino

family has lost its brilliance for it has been one exemplar type of family due to its

traditional values.

For this reason, the researcher offers new lenses in which they can look at

the situation of the Filipino family. As a being-in-situation, Gabriel Marcel

suggests that one must not look at a situation as a problem. One must look at it as

a mystery. One must not detach from the situation in order to have a better grasp

of the situation. Thus, one must not look at the family as a problem, rather, it must

be dealt as a mystery. 234 To further have a full perspective on the family, one must

not be like a legislator or judge for these persons look at a situation from above

and detached from their selves. One must realize that the family is not something

that is outside the self. In a family, a member must not try to veer away from the

existing reality of the family precisely because of the very truth that one belongs

to such. It seems impossible to detach the very self of any individual in the family

because it is very evident that there is an inclination to the family. Hence, the

family is a mystery and any one must always be reminded that the family is

something which is attached to any person.

234
See Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, 68.
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Due to modernization, the Filipino family has been slowly disintegrating.

This is what Marcel stated when he said that technological progress has affected

to the loss of human substance. It is seen very clearly in the craftsmanship in

human relationships, standardization of individuals, little respect for individuals

and local customs and peculiarities in the society. This change of pace of the

rhythm of life made the way of living faster. It somehow changed the focus which

they have. Marcel calls this situation as an extraordinary acceleration of the

rhythm of life.235 For this reason, one must always be reminded to treat at any

situation and the family as a mystery in order for them to not be detached. The

family must stay intact and be true to the traditions and culture of the family. One

must not veer away from the family’s closeness and one must not be affected by

any disturbance in order to preserve the sanctity of the family.

With this perspective, one can relive the traditional Filipino values of the

family. By treating the family as a mystery, one can see clearly that the family is

still a living reality and it can still persevere towards the preservation of the

sacredness of the Filipino family. This outlook will make a Filipino realize that

the family is something that they are already caught up. It is a reality that one is

tied into one’s own family. Hence, for Marcel, the sentiment of pride that one

belongs to a family makes the family as a value. 236 The family is a value to them

because they have pride on their own family for they belong to such. There is no

235
See Ibid., 79.
236
See Ibid., 76.
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denial that any person belongs to a family. It is quite clear that a person is rooted

in any family tree and a person has a connection to the bloodline that the person

belongs to. This relation makes one realize more that it is very important to

recognize the belongingness to a certain family. Thus, the family is a value

because of this certain pride, which is constructive, that will remind the Filipino

that they are a part of a family.

Furthermore, Marcel suggests that the family is a presence. He states,

“Each of us, with the exception of a few rare and unhappy individuals, has, at

least on certain occasions, been able to prove by experience the existence of the

family as a protective skin placed between himself and a world which is foreign,

threatening, hostile to him.”237 This feeling is innate for every individual and it is

very important for Filipinos to be reminded that they always have a protective

skin which the family has always been to them. The family is presence for it has

always been their comfort place. The family has been a home which comforts and

lets the person feel safe for there is the sense of trust and solidarity alive

inherently in the family. The family must always make the individual feel ‘at

home’ because the family resembles a comforting image to any member. It must

really be a protective skin of the person so one will always have the feeling of

belongingness and always have a welcoming atmosphere at home. The family

must do its best in order to let the individual experience a sense of love and solace

237
Ibid., 77.
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in the family. Thus, the Filipino family must look at the family as a mystery,

value and presence in order to further cultivate the values and relive the values in

which the Filipino family has been trying to uphold.

On Marriage and Fidelity

The family, as a social institution, requires members. The family, per se,

has its own founding members. These founding members are the husband and

wife. The couple who met, fell in love and married each other. These two persons

are vital for they are the ones who were united during marriage. These two

persons would eventually be the ones to procreate and start the family. Medina

states, “Since the family institution is a universally essential aspect of human

society, each culture provides some kind of arrangement for the selection of

people who will make up the family – who will mate, procreate, and nurture the

young.”238

Traditionally, Filipinos are very critical and sensitive in choosing a

partner. The suitor usually undergoes a very hard process of courtship in order to

gain the love and trust of both the family of the woman and the woman that he

wants to be with. A long-time of proving the worth of the suitor is needed in order

to gain the favor of being a couple. However, in the modern setting, some

women’s affection can easily be gained by suitors by easily sending sweet

messages through text, chat and other different means of communication. Today,

238
Medina, The Filipino Family, 78.
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there are also mobile applications which make the process of courting easier.

There are now dating apps that enable any person to have an actual

communication without even knowing each other and without personal

interaction. Sadly, there are people who date even though they do not interact

personally often anymore.

For this reason, it is important for Filipinos to be reminded regarding the

traditional values that they have. The need to be available personally and be

involved in the situation in order to know each other more. With this, one can

look at this situation by understanding and applying Marcel’s disponibilité.

Marcel urges an existential participation between people which can be extended

to interpersonal communion.239 In the process of mate selection, one can look

closely, interact and understand each other if there would be availability. The

availability of the suitor will entail to a commitment to the woman that he loves.

With this, they can be both open to each other and gain the trust of one another.

Thus, a more intersubjective relationship between couples will be seen. A more

intersubjective relationship will make the relationship of the couple more bonded

because of a more intense encounter between the couple. There must be an

interpersonal communion in order to be more connected to each other. There must

be an availability in the relationship in order to have a deeper connection.

239
See Marcel, Creative Fidelity, xxvii.
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After courtship, as long as the couple are ready to be together, they decide

to be united through marriage. In the Filipino tradition, marriage is very much

highlighted. The Filipino wedding of a couple starts the union of the couple and

lets them enter the married life. Traditionally, Filipino wedding does not only

unite the husband and wife but it unites the families of both husband and wife.

This tradition shows the high regard for family of the Filipinos and signifies the

approval of both sides. Hence, the married couple are challenged to be more

committed to their obligations since there is a public affirmation between the

families.

This is a great event for both families, especially for the couple. This is the

fulfilment of their love for each other. Being united by marriage is very essential

to Filipinos because they will have an extension of their family. Marriage is being

done mainly because the two individuals are ready to commit themselves to each

other and have their own family. By being married, they vow for faithfulness and

full dedication of themselves to each other and to the family that they will have.

With the traditional Filipino setting of being married in the church, the couple is

given more responsibility to become faithful for it is what the church is urging.

However, in the modern setting, various changes occurred. There are

couples who do not get married and choose to just have a cohabitation or a ‘live-

in’ relationship. Couples decide not to marry and instead just live-in together.

Cohabitation is described by Medina as:

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The most common type of cohabitation, however, is the joint living of a man
and a woman as husband and wife without formal legality of marriage. There
is exclusive sexual involvement but there is no assumption of permanency,
and commitment is only for as long as the relationship is mutually
satisfying. 240

This situation has become common in the country due to the influence that

the Western narrative have. Couples do not marry because of the fear of having a

lifetime commitment. Moreover, married couples also undergo different situations

in today’s society. Not all marriages are successful. Due to the marital

adjustments that the couple undergoes when they live together, marriages have

different results. Some result to broken families and unhappy couples. Some

situations are resulted from family violence, husband-wife conflict and husband-

wife separation.

Violence in the family is very dangerous because it will leave a mark on

the relationship. Usually, the family must be the place of safety and refuge for the

members. The couple usually are the ones to help each other out through thick

and thin. However, some cases indicate that violence to women has been a big

issue. Medina explicates:

When women become victims of violence within their own homes and at the
hands of their own husbands, it is not only their right to protection that is
violated, but all their rights of survival, participation and development are
endangered. Yet, many victims helplessly bear the situation to keep the family
intact at all cost even if violence is perpetrated with such debilitating effects
as stunted emotional growth, low esteem, and depression. 241

240
Medina, The Filipino Family, 91.
241
Ibid., 192.
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This situation is said to have a stigma to the family. The happy life that

they are trying to reach during the taking of their marital vows are not met due to

the violence that they are experiencing. On the other hand, there are husband-wife

conflicts that are due to economic problems. Medina states, “Conflict that is

economic in nature, can include issues on savings, investments, purchases, wife’s

career aspirations, husband’s working overtime or moonlighting on a second job

and other occupational matters.”242

With this, it is said that the time that the couple are not together contribute

to a conflict which is a bitter pill to swallow. This situation results to infidelity.

The absence of both due to the need to satisfy the economic demands does not

meet the need of each couple in their relationship. Hence, infidelity came out

because of the difficulties that an individual has gone throughout one’s life which

show the worst side of the individual’s personality. The cases of infidelity

somehow always point out to the unresolved wants of one, if not both, of the

married couples. It can be because of financial difficulties and continuous

husband-wife conflicts which contribute to the infidelity of one of the couple.

Thus, the situation that the couple are in today often makes marriage

fragile. With the issue of infidelity, the vows of the couple that they made during

their marriage are being set aside. As Medina describes, “Judging from the

number of court cases filed by spouses against each other, by the number of

242
Ibid., 193-194.
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applications for annulment of marriage, and by the number of couples who are

actually separated, marriages today are becoming fragile and full of stresses and

tensions…The marriage starts to crumble once they fail to find emotional

satisfaction.”243 Infidelity has been really an issue because if the couple does not

stay together and be unfaithful with each other, it will affect their family. The

marriage and the whole family will surely be affected if the expected heads of the

family are not true to their words and do not embody the commitment that they

made.

With this, one can look at this situation through Gabriel Marcel’s concepts

to have a new and wider perspective. Marcel was aware that the family will

undergo such situations due to the changes that modernization will have. He

explained that one must look at marriage as a pact between humanity and life.

This statement means that a human being responds to life and one form of

responding to this pact between humanity and life is through marriage. Marcel

states, “The essential act which constitutes marriage is obviously not the pure and

simple mating which is only a human act, common alike to men and animals; it is

not just a momentary union, but one which is to last; it is something which is

established.”244 Thus, Marcel wants every citizen to envision a marriage which

ties will last.

243
Ibid., 282.
244
Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, 85.
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This statement of Marcel propagates a viewpoint to every individual. He

suggests that marriage, as a sacramental bond, should be preserved. For this

reason, Marcel does not want anyone to tolerate divorce because it removes the

sanctity of the sacramental union that couples had during marriage. The vows that

were made in front of God during marriage were being disregarded when couples

result to divorce. With this, one must look at the sacredness of marriage and one

must not treat marriage as a simple contract for it has a sacramental bond. The

conjugal union during marriage elevates it from other forms of relationships. It

must not be treated like an ordinary contract in work in which one can resign any

time that one wants. One must always realize the importance of marriage and

always be reminded of the vows that one made during marriage.

For Marcel, marital ties can last if the couples have a form of fundamental

generosity and availability to each other. This mindset of couples will result into

the unity of the family. Fundamental generosity and availability, or disponiblité as

Marcel calls it, will both make the couple be open and committed to each other.

Both of these make one to be more connected to other human being. The two

ideas can further urge the couple to be engaged in their relationship. Thus, a sense

of disponiblité is very much needed to have a claim or establish a deeper

connection between couples.

Moreover, for marriage to last, both couples must have the virtue of

fidelity and hope. Fidelity is very much needed for couples to last. For the fidelity
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to be truly genuine, the fidelity of the couple must be creative. Creative fidelity

makes the individual be faithful and committed not by any factor but by own will.

The fidelity of the couple is not something imposed but is something that comes

out naturally because it is genuine. Thus, even though committed, in order to last,

the faithfulness of the relationship of the couple requires both constancy and

presence of each other. There must be a middle ground which brings the couple

together and love each other. Also, there must be physical and spiritual presence

between the couple. There must be an intersubjective relationship between the

two in order to really have the feeling of being one. Thus, the sincerity of being

together and openness to each other must be maintained.

Moreover, this genuine fidelity of the couple that Marcel suggests boils

down to a sense of spontaneity. This sense of spontaneity is very important for it

will make the fidelity natural and not hypocritical. As Marcel states, “For fidelity

as such can only be appreciated by the person whom it is pledged if it offers an

essential element of spontaneity, itself radically independent of the will.” 245 Thus,

this element of spontaneity is important for fidelity to be genuine. There must not

be any other factor but in order to have genuine fidelity. There must not be any

hindrance or any reason to be faithful. Fidelity must always be spontaneous and

come out naturally. Hence, it is the own will of the couple which makes them

faithful to each other.

245
Marcel, Creative Fidelity, 155.
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Also, Marcel states the need for a creative fidelity for couples. Creative

fidelity must have a self-knowledge which Marcel gives importance. One must

already have a deeper knowledge or understanding of one’s own self before

committing to the other. However, Marcel states, “In principle, to commit myself

I must first know myself; the fact is, however, that I really know myself only

when I have committed myself.”246 With this, one goes back to Marcel’s notion of

mystery and reminds couples who make vows and commitments of marriage to

always involve the self in order to further reflect and have a stronghold of the

commitment made. The commitment made by the person entails also a deeper

understanding and knowledge of the self. The members of the couple complement

each other and help each other have a grasp of their own selves. Thus, one must

always have a response to the commitment made. As Marcel says, “All

commitment is a response.”247

If all stated are found in the relationship, disposition and fidelity of

married couples, their marriage will have ties that last. Creative fidelity will only

work for the couple if there is genuine love, constancy, sincerity and trust. No one

is sure of this when they made the commitment but all are hopeful to maintain

their relationship because of an assurance of the involvement of the self. Marcel

states:

246
Ibid., 163.
247
Marcel, Being and Having, 46.
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In swearing fidelity to a person, I do not know what future awaits us or even,

in a sense, what person he will be tomorrow; the very fact of my not knowing
is what gives worth and weight to my promise. There is no question of
response to something which is, absolutely speaking, given; and the essential
of a being is just that – not being ‘given’ either to another or himself. 248

Thus, fidelity is creative for it will enable the person to be creative

together with the partner. With this, Marcel wants the couple to answer the call of

creative fidelity. To hope that by being faithful to a higher Being will urge the

couple to be faithful also to each other. It will be a sense of absolute fidelity, a

hope, that will enable fidelity to be possible. The inspiration of absolute fidelity

will make one be creatively faithful.

Hence, Filipino couples can look at their relationship and marriage using

Marcel’s ideas. Filipino couples must always have the sense of involvement,

responsibility, generosity and availability in order to have a deeper relationship.

They must always be reminded of the sacredness of the sacrament that they

received during marriage. Moreover, couples must have constancy or a middle

ground in order for their relationship to last. They must have a stronghold to the

commitments that they had during marriage. Also, they must always be faithful to

each other as likened to their faithfulness to God.

On Child and Parenting

The child is a very important member of the family because the child is

the product of the love of both parents. The child has been in the center of the

248
Ibid., 47.
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family through time. The parents sacrifice many things for the betterment of their

children. Parents invest well for the education of their children. Parents do their

best in order to leave a good mark to their children. Also, parents always try their

best to provide money and properties that can be beneficial to their children up to

the time that they get old. Thus, the Filipino family is a child-centered family. Its

structure has always been a family which expresses a sense of importance for the

child.

Moreover, Filipinos value children because they expect their children to

be the ones to help them financially, take care of them and assist them in

housework when they get old. For this reason, the parents try their best in order to

provide good education and formation to their children. Filipinos look at their

children as inspirations to become better parents. With this, parents aim to have a

good status and successful career in order to provide the best life that they can

give to their children. Thus, the child becomes a driving force to parents in order

to live a moral life and furnish the craft of their careers. Parents are challenged to

be the best that they can be for their children.

This is the way parents think because they are positive with their children

and are very hopeful that their children will be the ones to help them progress in

life. The child is expected to be the one to help them improve the socio-economic

status that their family has. Moreover, Filipino parents look at their children as

blessings from God and are hopeful and expected to bring good luck to the
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family. It has been a tradition for Filipinos to look at their children as a sign of

grace and God’s gift to them. The children that the parents have symbolize a more

blessed marital union and boosts more the morale of the parents. Thus, the

children of the couple keep the couple hopeful and joyful in the family.

However, the husband and wife often have different perspective on why

they value their children. Usually, a male look at having a child as an affirmation

of his masculinity. The number of children that a man can produce is often looked

as the measuring stick for a man’s manliness. On the other hand, a woman feels a

sense of fulfilment when she is able to bear a child. It is a great amount of joy and

satisfaction for a woman to have a child. With this, one can see how important the

child really is to the parents. Moreover, Filipinos look at the child as the one that

binds the couple more. Medina explicates:

Many wives believe that one way to hold a man is to have children. When
they have children, husbands think twice before deserting the family or
separating from the wife. Wives also try hard to keep their marriage intact for
the sake of the children. When there is a serious quarrel between husband and
wife, children often help bring about reconciliation between them. Children,
therefore, indirectly cement the union of their parents by helping strengthen
the marital bond.249

Thus, children are very important to parents. On the other hand, parents

are also important to children because they will be the first teachers that they will

encounter in their life. It is true that the child will eventually be taken into school

or other social institutions but it is always in the family that the child will have a

more time to be formed. They are the very first persons who gave support, love

249
Medina, The Filipino Family, 217.
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and care to the child. Thus, it is expected that the parents will have the greatest

influence on the child. Hence, the family is the first formation place for the child.

The family is the one who will mostly be responsible on the formation of the child

because it is the first place for socialization for a child. It is true that the child will

meet many people at school, church and social media but it is still in the family

that the child will spend more time with. Thus, the family is greatly responsible in

inculcating the values that the child needs in his life. The family will always be

the first ones to mold the child’s character.

Hence, the parents are very much liable in the formation of the child. It is

their duty to raise their child well. It is in the hands of the parents on how they

will discipline and inculcate good habits and values to the child. There are parents

who are overprotective while some parents are lenient to their child. There are

parents who impose themselves through punishment in order to discipline their

child while there are parents who are soft-spoken in order to always comfort their

children.

However, as the child grows, the child will meet more people. The child

will be able to socialize more and gain the influence of other people. The peers

somehow become more influential than the parents. With this, the child becomes

more liberal and somehow veers away from the command of the parents.

Moreover, today, due to different influences from modernization, some

parents do not live together often because of the fact that one needs to work
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abroad in order to satisfy the economic demands. Some of those who are not

living together result to unsuccessful marriage because not all can withstand the

situation of not being together. For this reason, there are cases of solo-parenting.

In addition to, solo-parenting does not only come from situations of people who

separated due to the situation of not being together due to the necessity of

working abroad. Some parents do not live together anymore due to their situation

of being single or unwed, abandoned families, divorced and legally separated

couples and also those who are widowed. Thus, this situation asks more from the

parent who is with the child for that parent needs to do more than the usual

parental role needed. Hence, it can be seen in this situation that the child will

really look for a role model and other people to look up to.

All of these situations are something to be pondered on in regards with

child formation. It is because some children are not formed well because of the

peer influences and bad parenting. Different ideas and people influence the child

as soon as the child goes out of the home and interacts with others. Apart from

this, the issue of child formation, there are also two issues in which children are

dealing today – child abuse and child labor. Medina states:

One problem with regards children is child abuse which includes physical,
emotional, and sexual abuse and neglect. It is sad to say that most abhorrent
type of child abuse, which is incest, is usually perpetrated by the father, but
the victim is afraid to report the crime because of threats by the abuser.
Another form of exploitation is child labor. Many children are in hazardous
jobs like quarrying, mining, deep-sea fishing, construction, etc. which is
against the law, while others are in domestic work. Also, many urban poor
children are on the streets trying to earn a living as hawkers, newsboys,
watch-your-car boys and shoe-shine boys. This is attributed not only to
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poverty but also to the state of the family relationships such as parental
separation and remarriage of widowed parents. 250

These two issues are very relevant today because of the on-going reports

of cases of both. There are children who underwent different types of child abuses

– physical, neglect, emotional and sexual. There are already many children who

are victims of abuse. Whatever type of abuse it is, it is still not right to abuse the

children. Some parents inflict physical injury, deprive basic needs, assault their

children verbally and make their children as objects of sexual gratification. Thus,

children are very much vulnerable in the society because they are often the ones

looked down and abused by those who are older and in authority. The children are

very much vulnerable to different acts of discrimination, abuse, exploitation and

many more oppressive actions.

On the other hand, another way of child exploitation is through child

labor. Medina says, “Child labor is practiced in economically depressed cities and

towns where most parents have either little education or training for any job;

therefore they often ask their children to work.” 251 It is quite clear that parents

result to child labor because of the economic demands due to the high cost of

living in today’s society. Instead of sending their children to school, they send

them to work places such as factories and streets wherein they will earn money in

order to help the family. Therefore, the child will exert effort and time working

and away from their parents. Medina explicates:

250
Ibid., 286.
251
Ibid., 234.
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They don’t question why they should be helping in breadwinning or even

acting as main breadwinners of the family instead of going to school because
they accept this as part of their duty as children. Living and working in the
streets, however, force them to relate to city thugs, criminal elements, and
other strangers, thus exposing them to risks of physical harm, crime, and other
anti-social activities (Porio, 1994). The increase in the number of street
children and the kind of life they experience in the streets are attributed not
only to poverty but also, to a certain extent, to the state of family relationships
such as parental separation or marital discord, remarriage of widowed parents,
and relationship with step-father or step-mother (Lamberte, 1994). Most of
these street children are abandoned or neglected by their parents (Situation
Analysis, Children and Women in the Philippines, 1992).252

The cases of child labor did not only result from poverty but also from

unsuccessful marriages. It is still dependent on the parents on how they will be

able to survive and form their children well. These cases of child labor shows the

different effects of how the family landscape has changed throughout the years.

With this, one can look at these cases of formation of children, child

abuses and child labor through Gabriel Marcel’s thoughts and have a new

perspective on how to look at these situations. Marcel accentuated that the very

response of married couples to the pact between humanity and life is to procreate.

The conjugal union of the couple will eventually result into procreation. The

procreation of the couple will result to a child. This event in life between couples

will be the one that fortifies the bond of the couple and also the pact between

humanity and life. It is an event which concludes the couple’s commitment to

respond to life and commitment to produce life. This is the pinnacle of being a

creative being as couples.

252
Ibid., 234.
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Marcel states, “It seems as though the marriage must in some way regulate

itself in relation to the offspring, for whose coming preparation has to be made;

but it is not less certain, and this observation is of the greatest importance here,

that a marriage concluded simply with a view to procreation is not only in danger

of degeneration because it does not rest on a firm spiritual basis, but, still more, it

is an attack upon what it most worthy of reverence in the specifically human

order.”253 This explicates the creative testimony of the couple to produce a child.

The creative testimony of the couple to procreate culminates the response of the

couple to the pact between humanity and life.

Moreover, the child is the binding element of the couple and the couple’s

family. The child belongs to an indefinite network. Marcel claims:

I can discern enough, however, to enable me to follow this umbilical cord of

my temporal antecedents, and to see it taking shape before me yet stretching
back beyond my life in an indefinite network which, if traced to its limits
would probably be co-extensive with the human race itself. My family, or
rather my lineage, is the succession of historical processes by which the
human species has become individualised into the single creature that I am. 254

The ancestors of the couple are all related and linked to the existence of

the child. Thus, the child is the center of the family. The child must be aware of

the lineage for the child belongs to the very long family tree that the child has. It

is this awareness of the child that helps the parents to also have a deeper

connection with each other. The child makes the parents a better couple because

of the positive effect that the child brings in the family. The child is the concrete

253
Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, 87.
254
Ibid., 71.
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by product of the couple and reminds that the two families of the husband and

wife are now really linked with each other. The child represents both the families

of the parents.

With this, to further dwell on the child, Marcel envisages a family and

home which will form the child into a good human being. The child as a hope for

the next generation is Marcel’s ideal environment in the family. For this reason, it

depends on the hand of the parents in order for the child to be formed well.

Marcel states, “It is, then, the sacred duty of parents to behave in such a way

towards their child, that one day it will have good reason to acknowledge that it is

in their debt.”255 It is a debt and credit for the parents to form their child very

well. It is their task to lay down the foundations.

Thus, parents must be responsible enough in order to form the child well.

They must have a realization that since the child is born out of mutual love, they

must have a sense of responsibility towards the child. The child must be cared and

formed well in order for them to be responsible beings. The child must not be put

into danger and exposed to the bad influences which can negate the proper

formation of the child. It is the duty of the parents to be the first educators of the

child for they will be the first persons that will affect in the process of

socialization of the child.

255
Ibid., 91.
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133

Hence, Filipino parents must be the one responsible to the formation of

their children. They must give importance to the child for the child is the most

basic common ground for the married couple. The child is the one that is linked

between both the families of the married couple. Thus, the child must be given

importance. Moreover, parents must not treat their children as objects. Parents

must give the love and comfort that the child needs. Also, the child must be

formed properly in order to be a hope for the next generation. Thus, the child will

be the springboard for the next generation of families. In addition to, parents must

be reminded that their marriage is not limited to the commitment of husband to

his wife, wife to her husband, but the commitment of the couple to the family

which they will raise, in turn, their commitment in the society in which they

belong to, as active agents of bringing about good citizens from their family, and

living as morally upright citizens themselves.

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CHAPTER 5

Summary, Conclusion and Recommendation

Summary and Conclusion

The research focused on the transition of the Filipino family from its

traditional image that the Filipino is known for into the modern-day image that it

has. It showed the influence of modernization and other factors that contributed to

this occurrence. Also, it delved on how Gabriel Marcel’s concepts, especially

those from his essay The Mystery of the Family, can be of help to this situation.

This research used Marcel’s ideas to look at the situation of the Filipino family

today.

In the second chapter, the researcher discussed the relation between the

traditional Filipino family values and the challenges that modernization presented

to the Filipino family. The Filipino family is known for its exceptional character.

The traditional values that the Filipino families have are shaped by the different

traditions, cultures, religions and beliefs that contributed throughout the

Philippine history. Filipinos highly value the presence of their families more than

anything. Heedlessly of the liberal influence they have gotten from the other

cultures, the family remained the basic unit of their society. This trait can be

clearly seen among Filipinos abroad who suffer homesickness and tough work

just to support their families back home in the Philippines. The fundamental
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135

traditional values of close family ties, religiosity, respect accorded to elders and

affection for the aged are some of the values that must be kept and nurtured.

Filipinos also have many traditions and rituals before a marriage. In the

past, the suitor is often seen laboring around the house to do household chores.

Traditionally, it is the father of the future bride who gives the orders and tests the

suitor. Today, however, the traditional servitude of the suitor has been reduced to

simply visiting the woman at home, doing simple tasks around the house, and

being invited to join family events. In the modern Filipino society, the traditional

pre-wedding servitude which includes performing chores to prove man’s worth

and pure intentions for the woman and her family is not strictly adhered to.

However, the prevailing traditional values of close family ties, religiosity,

respect accorded to elders and affection for the aged are challenged by the

influence of the West and modernization. The need to work distant from their

families affected the solidarity and close family ties that the Filipinos have.

Meanwhile, secularization affected the religiosity of the Filipinos. Their reliance

to God is lessened because of the liberal influence of secularization. Some

children also lost respect to elders because of influences outside of the home.

Children now tend to put their selves as center of the home and look as their

parents at the same level with them. Because of increasing poverty rate, the

affection and care they have for the aged are affected. Instead of taking care of

them, families are forced to send their elderly to geriatric institutions.

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The sacredness of marriage is also affected by modernization. The

growing number of infidelity and divorce rate shows how Filipinos are losing

their grasp in their relationships. The loyalty they have is lessened. Some

relationships also do not result to marriage but just result to cohabitation or ‘live-

in’. Because of the problems they face, parents now also do not have time to form

their children properly. Child abuse and child labor are also increasing. The

importance of the child in the family is having a change of outlook. Solo-

parenthood and cases of infidelity greatly contributed to the shift of landscape in

the formation of the child and in the structure of the family.

The clash of the traditional and modern values of the Filipino families

changed the perspective of each individual. However, one must look into both of

these perspectives to realize the importance of one’s beginnings – family.

The researcher, in the third chapter, delved on some of Gabriel Marcel’s

philosophical concepts which are very relevant to further understand his claims in

The Mystery of the Family. The concept of problem, mystery, primary reflection,

secondary reflection, disponibilité and creative fidelity are discussed. Moreover,

the researcher dwelled on exposing Gabriel Marcel’s The Mystery of the Family.

Marcel differentiated problem and mystery. Marcel points out that problem does

not involve the person in the situation. The person just observes. On the other

hand, mystery involves the person and immerses the person in the situation to

have a better understanding. Moreover, primary reflection is also different from

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137

the secondary reflection. Marcel does not want anyone to be on the primary

reflection for they look at things objectively. He wants one to reflect on the

secondary level in order to be fully involved and be subjective in the situation.

The involvement of the self is needed in secondary reflection. Thus, there is a

deeper interaction.

As a being-in-situation, one is intersubjective with other beings. Thus, one

must be available. One must not be indisponibilité or unavailable. One must be

always disponibilité or available to others. There must be a connection to others.

There must be a removal of egoistic tendencies and this can be done by being

available and for others.

Moreover, Marcel’s creative fidelity is discussed. Commitment

presupposes fidelity. This fidelity must have sincerity and constancy in order to

work. Thus, genuine fidelity is drawn out from the person without any other

reason. There is an element of spontaneity. Also, creative fidelity is needed in

order to be more intersubjective and have a fidelity that ensures lasting

relationships. Creative fidelity, to be very much effective, must be inspired by

absolute fidelity, fidelity to a Higher Being.

In The Mystery of the Family, Marcel suggested that the family is a

mystery because it is bound to one’s existence. It is not exterior to oneself. This

notion of the family as a mystery brings one back to the innate value of the

family. Moreover, it is in the family that one experiences pride, which is another
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138

expression of the love and value of the person in the family. The family as value

reminds one of the lineage that the family is involved. Thus, one becomes proud

of the family lineage.

The notion of family as the mystery of presence induces the necessity of

habitation or rituals that constitute a home. Marcel wants family members to be

together physically. To be together physically entails to a deeper conversation

between each other. Moreover, the Marcellian notion of the family as a mystery

of the pact between humanity and life is incarnated through marital union or

marriage. Marcel reminds every married couple to treat their marriage as sacred

for there is a vow committed in such union. This pact between humanity and life

is fortified by procreation. This pact between humanity and life, if founded on

mutual love and genuine fidelity, is a form of response to the spouse, to life itself

and to Being.

Marcel also suggested that fidelity or faithfulness must transcend itself. It

must be more than just being loyal to one another. There must be a deeper

commitment to each other. It should be a creative fidelity because without

creative fidelity, the family degenerates because each one has an ego which points

to each one’s own interest. Creative fidelity makes the family members become

more intersubjective with each other. Thus, there must be humility in the

relationship in order for ties to last. Also, Marcel said that every child is a gift that

must be cared for and educated to become a source of hope. It is the responsibility
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of the parents to take care of the child for the child is the result of the love of the

parents.

Lastly, Marcel points out the mystery of the family as hope. “I hope in

Thee for us.” As Manuel Dy states that the family in its journey through life can

only be creatively faithful when humans entrust themselves unconditionally as a

family, as us, in the hands of the Divine Father.256

In the fourth chapter, the researcher re-appropriates Gabriel Marcel’s The

Mystery of the Family into the Filipino family. By discussing the different issues

that the Filipino family is in now, one can be aware of them and have a realization

of what one can do in this situation. In the last chapter, the researcher discussed

that modernization made people become more focused on the self. Modernization

made people busy. Also, different influences from different cultures paved way

and changed some of the paradigms of the Filipinos. The problem of poverty

greatly affected on how the Filipinos live today. Filipino parents need to work

away from their families in order to sustain the financial needs of the family. The

economic demands of the times made the people more focused on work than in

the formation of the family.

For this reason, one must always be reminded not to detach their selves

from their own families even though some live distant from each other. They must

256
See Dy, “Marcel’s Mystery of the Family and the Problems of Modernization in the
Asian Context,” 79.
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140

always be reminded that they are still involved in their own families. As Marcel

states:

As for me, who devote myself to this operation, I am outside (above or below,
if you like) the. facts with which it deals. But when it involves realities closely
bound up with my existence, realities which unquestionably influence my
existence as such, I cannot conscientiously proceed in this way. 257

This perspective of Marcel suggests one to always look at their families as

something that involves them. The very “I” of the individual is never detached

from the family. The person is always connected and involved in the family that

the person belongs.

Moreover, Filipinos must always value their families. They must always

have a sense of pride. They must be proud that they belong to a family for their

own families are already part of their historicity. Filipinos also must love each

member of the family and be present and available to any family member in order

to further deepen the bond. In addition to, one must maintain its closeness to their

own families because they will always be the ‘protective skin’ amidst all social

institutions. The family will always be the one to bring comfort and love to the

individual. The family is always full of love and care. The family will always be

home. Also, Filipinos must be reminded to keep marriage sacred. The sacramental

union that marriage provides must be maintained and the vows committed must

be kept. The oaths and promises of the couple to each other must be upheld. The

sacramental bond that marriage constituted must be maintained.

257
Marcel, Homo Viator: An Introduction to the Metaphysic of Hope, 68.
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141

The Filipino couples must also be faithful to each other. They must have

generosity and availability to each other. They must have constancy in order to

have a common ground. Their fidelity to each other must be genuine and come

out of spontaneity. It must not be forced but genuinely or naturally comes out of

the individual. Their fidelity must be creative.

As the cases of child labor and child abuse go up, Filipinos must be

reminded to look at the importance of the child. The child is the one which

strengthens the union of the couple and the families of the couple. The child must

be seen as a blessing for it is the child who gives hope for the next generation and

accesses what is to come. Parents must be responsible enough to form their child

into a good and responsible beings. Love and respect must also be given to the

child.

Due to modernization and influences that the times have brought, the

Filipino family has lost some of its important values. The heaviness and noisiness

of modernization changed the landscape of the Filipino family. It changed the

perspective of many individuals. Even though some of the traditional values of

the Filipino family are deteriorating, there is still a glimpse of hope for these

values to be revived. Thus, Gabriel Marcel’s The Mystery of the Family can be of

help and be used as lenses in order to see the situation of the family more clearly.

For traditional Filipino family values to be relived, one must always be reminded

that the family is a mystery. Filipinos must always be proud of their own families,
 UNIVERSITY OF SANTO TOMAS FACULTY OF ARTS AND LETTERS PAGE
142

love their own families and respect their own families. Also, parents must remain

faithful to each other and form their children well. Hence, one can always hope in

Thee for the Filipino family to regain its remarkable character.

Recommendation

The research made was only done in a limited period because of the time

constraint that was given due to the deadline. However, the researcher explicated

the philosophical ideas of Gabriel Marcel as simple as possible. With this, for

those who like to have a deeper study of Gabriel Marcel, the researcher

recommends the books Being and Having, Creative Fidelity, Man Against Mass

Society, Philosophical Fragments, Mystery of Being Volume I: Reflection and

Mystery, Mystery of Being Volume II: Faith and Reality and Homo Viator: An

Introduction of the Metaphysic of Hope.

Also, to have a further reading of the Filipino family, the researcher

recommends the books of Belen T. G. Medina which is entitled The Filipino

Family and Florentino Timbreza which is entitled The Filipino Values Today.

Moreover, writers such as Kenneth Gallagher, Brendan Sweetman, Seymour

Cain, Manuel Dy and Jove Jim Aguas have written different works regarding

Gabriel Marcel. These authors can be of help to those who want to understand

Marcel more simply.

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