The Secret Formula For Attracting Any Person To You in 2 Weeks
The Secret Formula For Attracting Any Person To You in 2 Weeks
By www.2knowmyself.com
The ultimate source for understanding yourself and others
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About 2knowmyself.com
2knowmyself.com is the best place on the internet to understand your emotions,
understand other people and get over all kinds of emotional problems. Since 2006
we have helped millions of people to get over all kinds of emotional issues and to
understand themselves perfectly.
2knowmyself.com have got more than 65,000,000 (65 million page views) since it
was launched. At the time of writing this book 2knowmyself gets more than 1.5
million page views each month.
1) Its backed by solid research that has been running for years
2) It’s not intuitive or easily guessed
3) Its practical not vague
4) It works! You can try it yourself
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Please don’t misuse the information provided
I strongly believe in ethical use of information and the only reason i am providing
such information is to help those who have ethical goals to reach them.
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Why Do We Fall In Love?
You were walking down the street, nothing was unusual and then suddenly she
came out from a nearby shop and it happened that you fell in love with her at the
first sight! Huhh!! What happened?!!
The answer is simple, its all related to how your mind works. If you are single or
currently not in a relationship then your mind will always be on a hunt for your
long awaited partner. Even if you think that you don't care about relationships
now still you will fall in love with the first person who matches your criteria.
The following is an example of the first three lines of a check list of a guy called
Sam. Sam is a guy and his list starts with the following three conditions:
Item one: She must have the same educational background as mine.
Item two: Her hair must be yellow (Sam always failed to establish
successful relationships with blonds in his past and so his subconscious
mind included this item in his list in order to help him compensate for his
past failures)
Item Three: She must be assertive. Sam wasn't an assertive person and
since we get attracted to those who have what we need therefore Sam's
mind included this item in his criteria.
If Sam is currently not in a relationship and then he met an amazing girl who has
black hair then most likely he won't fall in love with her (without understanding
that the real reason he didn't love her is that she didn't match his subconscious
criteria).
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People are usually unaware of their subconscious criteria and that's why they
usually describe love as a mysterious thing that follows no rules but the truth is
that when they become aware of their subconscious criteria they will be able to
know why they fall in love with certain people and not others.
Once you become aware of your own list you will know how to stop loving
someone and how to make someone fall in love with you. (see how to make
someone fall in love with you)
You can fall in love with any person as long as he matches your subconscious
criteria and that's why you should never feel bad after a breakup, simply because
sooner or later you will find another person who matches your criteria and he
may even be better than the first one.
You might be asking yourself, how can i know that he meets my criteria while i
never talked to him before? The answer is simple, the criteria might include items
like the way he walks, talks or looks at you.
This could also happen if the person's actions or looks reminded you of someone
you loved before (people usually fall in love with those who are similar to the
ones they loved before).
If your criteria depends heavily on looks then your chance of falling in love at the
first sight will be much higher than that of a person who gives higher priority to
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personality or other qualities. (For more details see Does love at first sight really
exist?)
There was a girl who was an introvert and very shy. She used to hate the fact that
she is shy and she was trying to do her best to get over shyness. This girl once met
a guy who was both over confident and an extrovert then she fell in love with
him.
Simply her mind started to realize that this person has got some necessary traits
that she lacks and so that it would be better for her to be beside him. Now what
can the mind do to make sure that she will stay beside that person as much as she
can?
Just as you might have guessed her mind will let her fall in love with the person in
order to make sure that she will stick to him for the longest period of time.
Of course the process of falling in love is not that simple and it always involves
hundreds of variables however by understanding a simple example such as this
one it would give you a very clear understanding of how love happens in general.
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Your mind is always in constant search of methods that can make you happy and
if it realized that someone can help you feel better or can help you satisfy an
important need that you have then there is a big chance that you are going to fall
in love with him. So it’s your mind that determines whether you will fall in love
with a person or not (sorry Hollywood)
In such a case your mind will realize that this person causes you pain and that
staying away from him is the right action. But how will your mind motivate you to
stay away from that person? Simply by using the emotion of hatred your mind will
ensure that you will avoid that person as much as you can.
So again it’s your mind that determines whether you will hate a certain person or
not.
Most of us believe that love is completely random that can never be controlled or
manipulated, However, the shocking truth is that love and hatred are fully
controlled by the mind. If you can come to understand the logic behind the mind’s
operation then you will have a good chance of making someone fall in love with
you.
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Love is just like any other psychological emotion you experience and so it can be
controlled. Just as there are ways for dealing with and controlling stress there are
ways that can help you make someone fall in love with you which you will know
about when you get a deeper understanding of the psychology of falling in love.
I have what you need : when people search for a partner they
unconsciously try to find someone who has similar traits to the ones they
like about themselves and different traits than the ones they hate about
themselves. For example if someone who feels inferior but was very
intelligent then he will seek an intelligent and a confident partner. If this
was the person you are targeting then playing the role of an incredibly
confident person can be very effective simply because you will be sending a
message to his/her subconscious mind saying “I have what you need”. In
addition try to do your best to show him that you have some common
interests (don't lie, just search for what’s common between you).
Meeting Criteria: Inside the mind of every one of us is a quick list or basic
criteria that must be met before we can fall in love with someone. Although
meeting these criteria does not necessarily guarantee that we will love the
person still not meeting any of them makes it certain that we will never
love him. Examples of these criteria can be: "He must be a non smoker",
"He must be religious" …etc. You should try to know the background of the
person you like and attempt to meet his basic criteria else you will be
rejected before you even begin.
Does Trying Harder Work? : will trying harder work? or does chasing him or
asking him out several times work?
Doing these things will most likely work if your target partner suffers from
external dependency. External dependency is the act of being dependent
on something or someone to feel good or to escape a bad mood. When
someone becomes externally dependent it's likely that he'll jump at the
first chance of getting into a relationship. If the person you are targeting is
externally dependent then your chances of making him fall in love with you
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will certainly be higher. That’s why caring for someone when he's down
makes the chance of being liked by him very high because at these times
people become more externally dependent
Program his Subconscious Mind: The subconscious mind can be
programmed to accept something by continuous repetition. This doesn't
mean that you should call your partner every five minutes because that
would bother his conscious mind. Chasing the subconscious mind requires
no more than staying in sight and letting him see you a lot. Even if you
hardly talk just staying in the person's sight will help you program his mind
in a better way
More Subconscious Mind Programming : If you have mutual friends then
you are even more lucky because the subconscious mind is programmed
much easier by trusted sources. The more your common friends talk about
you in a good way in front of him and the more they remind him of how
great you are (something you'll probably have to arrange) the better will be
your chances of having a place in his/her subconscious mind. Just like
subconscious mind programming can be a tool that can help you in making
someone fall in love with you it may be used against you without your
notice and the result would be finding yourself attached to someone that
you cant get over. In my book How to get over anyone in few days i pointed
out how can you reverse the effect of the programming you got from
others so that you can easily forget about any person
position yourself well: what is the first word that comes to people's minds
when they hear your name? do they think of the word "strong","confident"
or "loser"? positioning is simply associating yourself with a certain image
that people recall in their minds when your name is mentioned.
Before exploring outer space people used to think that the earth was flat and that
you could fall off its edge if you ever went that far.
The same goes for everything else that we don’t understand. People usually try to
associate all unknown facts with things they are familiar with and love is no
exception to that rule.
Even though learning about the psychology of falling in love can help you
understand why you fall in love and why you love someone but not the other still
the majority of people prefer not to read about it and to just think of love as a
mysterious process that has no rules.
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Love at first sight exists simply because many of us have been through it before.
In most cases, we fall in love to compensate for our unmet needs, when we find
someone similar to us, when we find someone who reminds us of a close person
we love (like one of our parents for example) or when someone meets our
unconscious criteria. The unconscious criteria is simply a list of traits that should
be found in a person before we can fall in love with him.
If you understood the previous points then you may have already guessed why we
sometimes fall in love with someone at the first sight. We fall in love at the first
sight when someone meets most of our unconscious criteria at the first meeting.
For example if a guy had dark skin and really loved his mother then it’s very likely
that his unconscious criteria will include items such as 1) She should have white
skin and that 2) She should be as kind as my mother. Of course it’s not that
simple; the criteria can be very complex and can include hundreds of items but I
am just simplifying the idea in order for you to easily get it.
What will happen if that guy met a girl who has such traits? What if in addition to
all that she was attractive as well? Most probably that guy will develop an instant
crush on her, or as we say, love her at the first sight.
People who fall in love at the first sight usually believe in false ideas like "the one"
and "soul mate". In my book “How to get over someone in few days” i explained
how getting rid of such concepts can be a vital step in the recovery from any
breakup.
By just understanding how love at the first sight works you are actually helping
yourself in getting over such false beliefs.
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Love or Best Friends?
Now the question that may have popped into your mind is “Why do I sometimes
find someone who is absolutely fantastic, has many good traits but i still never
love him at the first sight?”.
The answer is simple: either because he didn’t match your criteria at all or
because you are looking for traits that can’t be noticed at the first meeting. That’s
why people who care much about physical appearance are more likely to
experience love at first sight than others. Because many items in their criteria is
dependent on appearance ,which is something that can be noticed quickly, they
usually fall in love at the first sight.
Feelings of inferiority, unmet needs and the desire to compensate can be the
main reason we fall in love.
Certainly you will never find a person who says something like "omg i love this
girl, she allows me to compensate for my self image problem" but instead this
happens unconsciously.
You will just think that you love someone because he is interesting, nice, kind or
caring while in fact its your desire for compensation that made you fall in love
with him.
I am not saying that this is the only reason for falling in love but certainly its one
of many other factors. By understanding your unmet needs you will certainly be
able to know why you sometimes fall in love with certain people.
Poor self image and Love: If someone has a poor self image (a mental
disorder that makes the person unsure of his looks) then most probably he
will only fall in love with good looking people.
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Social Class and Love: Some people have unmet needs within a certain
social class. This could happen with a middle class guy who always finds
himself surrounded by rich friends. If he failed to develop good
relationships with them or if he was rejected by them then he might not fall
in love except with a girl from that social class just to compensate for the
rejection he experienced earlier.
Lack of self confidence and love: If a girl lacks self confidence then most
probably she will become attracted to confident people. This isn't the case
with self confidence only but the desire to compensate ignites whenever
someone finds people possessing what he lacks
There are hundreds of examples that can be provided about falling in love just to
compensate for a certain need however it’s all about understanding the concept.
In fact one of the main reasons people fail to recover from breakups is the desire
to compensate for their needs.
If this happened to you before then i strongly recommend that you try to fix your
problems and fulfill your unmet needs so that you don't make the wrong choice.
People who fall in love just to compensate for their needs usually make the wrong
choices!
When i say that it’s an unconsciously assigned i am referring to the fact that most
people find others attractive without being consciously aware of the reasons. It’s
just that their subconscious minds have done so many calculations behind the
scenes that they never noticed.
Each person has a unique way of calculating this total score as a result of the
unique past experiences he has been through. For example if a person always
suffered because of unfaithful friends then loyalty might constitute a high weight
when he calculates total scores for others. In such a case a loyal person will have a
higher total score provided that all other factors are constant.
I) If you were really attractive: If you believe you are very attractive
(physically) and if you are sure that your target assigns a high weight to
physical attraction (because unless he does your physical attractiveness will
be considered useless) then you can move on to the next section right away
II) If you are an ordinary person: If you are an ordinary person like most of
the people then you first need to elevate your total score in the eyes of
your target using other methods. You must become friends with him first to
know more about the way he uses to calculate the total scores for people
then you must work on elevating your total score without showing him any
intention that you want to be with him in a relationship. After doing that
you should then move to the next step
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Once you managed to elevate your total score in any of the above ways and once
you make sure that you did it correctly you can then start to give extra attention
to that person without ever showing him that you are interested in him.
In my book How to make someone fall in love with you i said that when someone
gets attention from a person he considers a loser he won’t even care to think
about him but when the same person gets attention from someone who has a
higher total score than him then he will start to think about the possibility of a
relationship.
The most important thing you must do when attracting someone to you is not to
tell him about your intentions directly. You need to confuse the person, to make
him believe that you have a higher total score and in the same time to make him
unsure whether you like him or not.
This missing piece of information will let him think about you even more and
these thoughts will then turn into attachment.
One of the facts that many people are not aware of is that each and every person
is constantly in a state of assessing whether the people he meets can make good
relationship partners or not even if he appeared as if he doesn't care about
relationships.
I am sure you always meet people who tell you that they are focused on their
studies or work and that they don't think much about relationships. While those
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people tell the truth on the conscious level still their subconscious minds does the
exact opposite.
Whenever any person meets someone from the opposite sex his subconscious
mind quickly scans that person's traits and qualities in order to find out whether
he can make a good relationship partner or not.
The secret to attracting love is to draw the attention of the subconscious mind of
your target in such a way that it forces his conscious mind to ask one question:
WHY NOT!
The great news is that the person doesn't have to be that into you in order to ask
himself the what if question because it can happen right after you impress him for
the first time of your life even if he didn't use to think of you as a romantic
partner before.
many people do the mistake of trying to impress others the wrong way as a result
of believing that one attraction formula could work for everyone.
If you want to impress someone and to force him to ask the why not question
then you need to impress him in a way that appeals to him and not in a way that
appeals to others or to you.
Do whatever you can to impress that person. Try to first collect information about
him and to understand what makes him tick so that you can present him with the
qualities that will, most likely, appeal to him.
If that person asked himself the "why not him" question then you should
congratulate yourself because you are more than half way to attracting him.
Next you should do your best to raise that person attachment levels by:
Confusing them: Compliment her one day and avoid her the other day. Call
him to ask about him then in the end of the call ask him for a favor. Treat
him very nicely one day and coldly the other day. At this point that person
will start to think about you more often. A research has shown that people
tend to remember half-finished tasks and forget about completed ones.
The same exactly will happen here, that person will start to think about you
more often and he will tell his friends about you just because he can't
understand you
Playing Hide and seek: When you feel that the person started getting used
to you then pull away for a while without giving explanations. When people
fail to get something that they want for a while they will become more
attached to it even if they didn't want it badly in the beginning.
Showing more good qualities: I am assuming that you already know all the
good qualities that your target is looking for. Each now and then show him
one more quality that he is looking for and he will become more attached
to you
If you did this correctly then you can congratulate yourself because you have
attracted love. All you have to do is to tell that person that you like him at his
point and even if you didn't he might take that step before you do!
Give attention in the right time and you will become a desirable person now use it
in the wrong time and you will be considered a desperate person.
Because many people don't know exactly when to give attention and when to pull
back i decided to write this post to tell you how to use that weapon properly.
If the person you like is popular and gets a lot of attention then giving him more
attention won't do you any good, If on the other hand, that person gets little
attention then giving him attention will make him become more attracted to you.
Its not recommended that you start doing anything before you observe how
people interact with the person you like. How many people approach your target?
how many of them talk about him? are people constantly looking and gazing at
that person in an obvious way?
People get attracted to those who provide them with ways to fulfill their unmet
needs, now when you give attention to someone who already gets a lot of
attention you will just find yourself waiting in the queue with the other fans.
This is where the second biggest attention giving mistake happens. People start to
give attention to others even though others don't consider them that important
and that's why those people get labeled as annoying.
When you get to know a person you first need to impress him before you start to
give him any attention. Being Mysterious until you impress a person is always a
good idea.
Show that you are interested a bit earlier and you will be considered a desperate
person. Once you impress the person and make sure that he considers you
important
you can then start giving him attention. Only then your plan will work.
This happens because people are always curious to find out why do others care
about them. Usually people try to find the answer to that question in order to
reassure themselves that they are worthy.
Now i am sure that it happened that you showered someone with attention only
to find him pulling back!!
The question now is, why do some people respond to this extra attention by
becoming attached to the provider of this attention and why do others pull away
and even become annoyed when the same thing happens!
I have said earlier that impressing a person is all about showing him that being
with you will help him satisfy him important unmet needs.
If for example a woman wants to feel financially secure then she will very likely
become impressed by an intelligent and ambitious man. This will happen because
this woman will believe that this man will be able to provide her with good
financial resources one day.
Now if this man gave this woman extra attention before letting her first know
about these traits then there is a good chance that she will pull back and even get
annoyed by that extra attention.
On the other hand, if that man showed his muscles first or if he managed to
impress her by making his good traits visible then most probably she will respond
to the attention he will give her afterwards.
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The best thing you can do is to work on increasing your perceived worth before
you pursue someone. The more you impress the person by your good traits the
more likely will he think about you more often when you give him attention.
The trick is to understand your target well and to know about the things that can
impress him. Once you make sure that you have impressed him to a certain
extent you can move on to phase two of attracting him which is confusing him by
some extra attention.
The first is attempting to attract a person who doesn't know that you like him and
the second is attempting to attract a person who already knows that you like him.
Its much better to do your best to attract a person before telling him that you like
him simply because the more mysterious you appear to be the more you will
tempt your target to think about you and the more he will become attached to
you
Now in some cases you might be forced to blow your cover a bit early before you
attract the person and that's why i decided to add this section to tell you what
you should do
The first thing you need to do is to ask that person to be a normal friend. And
after he agrees you should never bring the relationship subject again. What we
are trying to do here is to let that person put his defenses down again so that we
can sneak unnoticed.
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During that time give that person all the care he needs (but as a friend), stand
beside him in his down times without declaring any of your emotions and keep
contacting him on regular basis everyday.
After some time that person will start to get addicted to the care and nurturing
you are providing him with and this is the point where you should pull back.
If you found him chasing you then know that you have already managed to attract
him to you a little bit and all what's left now is to increase the intensity of
attraction.
During that same time you should use your common friends to program the mind
of your target by letting them speak about you in a good way in your absence. The
more they say your name and mention your good traits the more will your target
feel like he lost a treasure.
Now if the subconscious programming was done alone while you were already
available then your target will not think about you that much because of feeling
that he can get you anytime, however, if people started mentioning how good
you are while you became mysterious and not as available as before then your
target might start going after you once again.
If it happened that your target didn't try to go after you then repeat the process
once again. Get closer to him again, try to make him used to your presence once
again then disappear all of a sudden when you feel that he is becoming attached
to you.
This technique will provide you with a great chance to make that person who
rejected you earlier go after you.
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Why love happens?
When a child is born he doesn't have anything in mind, no thoughts, no beliefs
and no memory. As the child progresses through life it starts developing certain
needs as a result of the experiences it went through.
For example the child that was dethroned by the newly born brother will learn to
become an attention seeker in order to capture the parent's attention and might
become a showy adult if his parents didn't pay attention to this problem.
Now as we grow up we keep acquiring more and more desires and unmet needs.
Based on these unmet needs to start to build a the picture of the potential
partner we want to be with. Whenever we meet a person who appears to be able
to satisfy these unmet needs we fall in love with him.
So if showing off was the only unmet need the child in the previous example had
then he will either fall in love with a very beautiful girl (to show off) or a popular
one.
This is a very simple example that can rarely exist in real life because each one of
us has tons of unmet needs and not just one but in the end the concept will be
the same. We do love those who appear to be able to help us satisfy our unmet
needs.
If a little child was attacked by a dog at a young age he might develop a phobia
that lets him fear dogs for the rest of his life. In this case his mind believed that
dogs are dangerous and thus it used the feelings of hatred to prevent him from
getting near dogs in the future.
Love follows the same exact mechanism but it goes the other way around, Love is
nothing more than an emotion your mind uses in order to bring you closer to the
things that can make you happier.
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If your parents treated you well while you are a kid your mind will let you love
them in order to help you stay close to them. This is what love is all about.
Some people say that likes attract but that's not always the case as we sometimes
become attracted to our opposites. But again if opposites attract then why do we
like certain people who are like us??
Tom, not a real name hates suits from the bottom of his heart. He even decided
to quit his first job just because he was forced to wear a suit. When looking at his
behavior from the outside most people will say that he is mad but when looking
deeper into his mind you will find that his actions make all the sense in the world.
Tom was an only child who was pampered and given all what he asked for.
Because of the way he was raised he started to value freedom and hated being
controlled or forced. On the other hand when he was young he used to wear large
glasses which made his classmates make fun of him and call him Geeko.
Now when tom grew up he unconsciously hated school uniforms and suits
because they remind him of his geek identity that he hated. On the other hand
valuing freedom made him hate ties because they didn't allow him to feel free.
Now from this example its clear why we like certain things, as you just saw, tom
hated suits because they reminded him of something that he hates and took him
away from something that he values.
The same exactly goes for liking certain people. We like people who remind us of
the things that we like about ourselves and who pull us away from the things we
hate about ourselves.
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That's why a shy and beautiful girl might become attracted to a confident and
attractive man.
We like certain people when we find in them a mixture of the things that we like
about ourselves and the opposite of the things we hate about ourselves.
What will your feelings towards a person be like if you were lost in the desert and
extremely thirsty then suddenly he appeared and offered you all the water you
need?
Liking that person would be the least thing that would happen and you might
even fall in love with him!!
Even if this might appear as a rare example the truth is that hundreds of people
everyday experiences the same feelings of being lost in the desert and they long
for anyone who can offer them the water they need.
The main concept this research proved is that our minds work on the basis of
relative comparison. If you are used to work for 12 hours per day then a 9 hour
work day will be easier for you to tolerate than for someone who works for only 6
hours a day.
For example, right after being rejected by someone you will tend to like people
who accept you more than any other group of people. If right after a rejection
someone treated you well and showed you that he respects you then you might
not only like him but you will think that he was a much better person than you
previously thought.
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Our views of people are constantly upgraded and downgraded based upon their
behavior. If someone showed us that he is very loyal right after someone else
betrayed us then we will surely like the first person more than we previously did.
One size doesn’t fit all If you are treating everyone the same way then
don’t expect them all to like you because each person has his own set of
unmet needs
Understand the person’s needs: If you want to make a person like you then
you must have a solid understanding of his personality, background and
unmet needs
Wait for the right time: As soon as this person faces a situation that makes
him in extreme need of a friend with a certain trait approach him and show
him that you are the one
making person love you is a process that involves two steps, The first one is to
identify that person’s needs and wants and the second is to make him believe
that you are the person who can satisfy these needs and wants.
If you want to make someone want you then you don’t have to act nice, be kind
or loving because unless the person wants to be treated that way he won’t bother
paying attention to you.
One of the very interesting things about psychology is that you can determine
what a person wants from a relationship by examining his behavior at something
that is totally unrelated such as shopping!!!
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Yes you can know what a person is looking for in a life partner by observing his
shopping patterns!! A person I know lately bought an expensive mobile that has
an enormous number of functions, large keypad and huge storage memory.
You won’t need to talk to that person for more than 5 minutes to know that he
has never used any of the functions in his mobile phone!!
So the question is why did he buy a mobile that has all of these options while he is
not interested in any of them? The answer is simple; the mobile is very eye
catchy, looks expensive and shows that the person who bought it has a lot of
money.
Its clear that we are dealing with a showy person who wants nothing but to let
other people know that he is successful and wealthy.
So what does all this has to do with making such a person want you? That person
doesn’t need nice treatment or flowers but he needs a good looking partner or at
least a popular one to fulfill his showing off needs!!
Its not about who you are but its about who you appear to be
You don’t have to be gorgeous to appeal to that showy person but you just need
to convince him that you are gorgeous. This might sound against logic but when
knowing more about social proof theory and subconscious mind programming
you would discover that a person might find another one very attractive if other
people kept praising that person.
So after all its not about who you are or what you can do but its about how the
other person sees you. The good news is that people’s perception can be changed
by using the concepts and theories mentioned in the previous paragraph.
Next time your target buys something make sure you know why he bought it so
that you understand what he is looking for in a life partner.
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While there are some factors that can't be controlled such as the person's past
relationships with those who look like you still there are other factors that can be
controlled in order to make a person like you.
One of the characters was constantly accompanied with positive words on the
screen such as success and another character was constantly accompanied with
negative words or even negative images such as the image of a cockroach.
After the experiment the group were asked to tell how much they liked each
character and the result was that all of them liked the first character and didn't
like the second! (the one associated with the negative words and images)
That's not everything, the participants weren't even aware of the fact that the
images and the words had anything to do with either liking or hating the
character.
Its clear that we could like a person just because he makes us feel good and that
we could hate a person just because he makes us feel bad.
Being liked is not about telling jokes all the time, being kind or respecting others
but its all about finding what makes a person tick then using it to make him feel
good.
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Some people love humor
others just want to feel important in order to feel good
a third group might just want someone to listen to them in order to feel good
if you want someone to like you then find out what he needs, give it to him and
he will feel good around you and then will like you without understanding why it
happened.
Before you can make someone like you attracting his attention is a must. You
must show that person by any means that you are different than the rest of the
people he currently knows. Do something that shows that you are different and in
the same time desirable.
For example, talk about some of your great qualities indirectly then Let some
common friends talk about you positively in your absence, according to social
proof theory this will increase your likability.
If you didn't manage to do so then just do anything special, walk differently, talk
differently or take any action that can't be easily forgotten.
Your goal in step one is to not make the person like you but you just need to let
him remember you, in short you just need to catch his attention.
Don't show him that you are needy and don't be clear about your emotions but
instead give him equations that cannot be solved. Let his mind wander about you
without ever being able to reach a destination. Always allow a missing variable to
be present so that you trigger his thoughts.
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Compliment the things he isn't sure of not the things he is confident about. For
example if a girl is very beautiful then most probably she knows that already and
that lots of other people told her the same thing before so instead compliment
the areas she is unsure about.
Everyone likes to be supported and encouraged and this will let the person
become a little attached to you. At this point you should withdraw, stop giving the
person attention and minimize your contact with him.
The person you are trying to attract will consider this loss of attention as a form of
rejection and since nobody likes rejection he might start chasing you !!
your goal should be turning things around, instead of desperately chasing the
person you like you should keep sending mixed signals until you force him to
chase you.
At this point use social proof to make that person become more attached to you.
Send more common friends to talk about you in a great way.
Start displaying your best qualities one by one in front of that person. Your best
qualities aren't the ones you like the most about yourself but they are the ones
your target lacks the most. If your target is very shy then self confidence might
impress him and so on.
If your target started to lose hope give it back to him once again by showing him
some attention and as soon as he starts to believe that you like him withdraw
once again.
Under the pressure of these mixed actions the target will be thinking about you
most of the time and wondering why you are doing so,
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In fact there are lots of ways that can help you make someone want you if used
properly. Human beings were designed in such a way to respond efficiently to
their environment.
If you managed to alter their perception of their environment they will respond
back according to the way they were designed and this is where you can make
someone want you.
For example if you consider someone a loser then certainly you won't care much
about the attention he gives to you compared to the level of interest you will
have in a popular person who became interested in you.
Based on these facts here are the ways that can help you make someone want
you:
1) Elevate your total score first: people fall in love with those who have a
similar or a higher total score than them. The total score is the term used to
describe how a certain person values another one. If you want to make
someone want you then the first step you need to do is to raise your total
score in his eyes.
2) Give attention without showing intentions: The next thing you should
do in order to make someone want you is to give that person a lot of
attention without showing any intentions (without telling him that you like
him). When a person finds someone with a higher total score giving him
attention he will become happy with it and he might start to become
attached to him
3) Pullback in the right time: The third step to make someone want you is
to pull back in the right time. After the person gets addicted to you and
after he becomes attached to you its time to pull back in order to intensify
these feelings. This is the part where you need to use the art of pulling back
whenever you are needed and of giving attention once again whenever the
person is not that attached to you.
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4) Push your total score even higher: Once the person becomes addicted
to you its time to push your total score even higher by using social proof
(letting common friends talk about you in a good way in front of that
person).
If you did these four steps correctly you will easily make any person want you.
In fact, one of the best ways ever to make someone fall in love with you is to
become friends with him first. Before i tell you why friends can become lovers you
first need to know that people in fall when they find a person who has a similar or
a higher total score than them.
A total score is the value a person gives to someone else which determines
whether he can be a potential partner or not.
I have said earlier that each person calculates this total score differently based on
his own values, background and past experiences
Based on the previous facts the best way to make someone fall in love with you is
to become friends with him first in order to know how exactly he calculates the
total score for others.
After all it would make no sense trying to impress someone with things that he
doesn't care about. When you become friends with a person you will know more
about his background, values and past experiences and thus you can make him
love you by matching the criteria he is looking for in a future partner.
Once you match most of the items in a persons subconscious list you are
automatically nominated to be a potential partner.
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Because people always keep updating the total score for others all the time
friends can become lovers if someone's total score changed greatly.
Love vs friendship
Close friends are the ones who have high enough total score to become friends
but who don't have the total score that allows them to become potential
partners.
This means that if you became friends with someone then you are already half
way to make him love you.
Certainly friends can become lovers and in fact the best way to make someone
fall in love with you is to become friends with him first without showing any
intentions.
Martin used to see Sarah everyday at college but he never thought about her in a
romantic way. One day his friend Steve told him that no one can ever date this girl
because she is so arrogant. At this point martin's ego motivated him to take the
challenge and so he decide to date the Sarah even though he was not interested
in her.
Martin started using his tricks to attract her attention and so he started
contacting her on regular basis. One day Marin was waiting for a call from Sarah
who was supposed to return his call. Sarah didn't call Martin that day and this
bothered him so much.
He started to recall the mistakes he did with her just to find out why she didn't
call. As the hours passed Martin started to think about Sara more often.
After one day it became almost impossible for Martin to be with his friends
without talking about Sarah or at least mentioning her.
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Within 2 days Martin told his friends that he is deeply in love with Sarah and that
he is feeling bad because she didn't call!
What happened here? How can a person who wasn't interested in girl fall in love
with her in just two days??
This happened because the more you think about a person the more likely you
will get attracted to him even if you were not that interested in him at the
beginning!
Before Martin accepted the challenge he didn't use to think of Sarah at all but
when it became a matter of protecting his Ego he started to think about her more
often.
According to a study the more you try to prevent yourself from thinking about
something the more you will find yourself thinking about it. Because the
subconscious mind gets programmed by repetitive thoughts Martin's mind
started to get programmed by the images of Sarah.
Another study has shown that our minds tends to never give up thinking about
unfinished businesses. This is why Martin kept thinking about Sarah all day long
when she didn't return the call!
In my book How to make someone fall in love with you i said that when a person
expects a response from a another person he starts to think about him more
often, this continues thinking will program the mind as the time passes and the
first might fall in love with the later!
So can you use these concepts to make someone fall in love with you? of course,
if you managed to find a way to make any person expect anything from you then
you found your way to making him fall in love with you! Here are few examples:
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more often and there is a great possibility that he will become obsessed
with you
2) The stubborn person: A stubborn person will not give up before he gets
things done his way. Once you trigger someone's stubbornness in a way
that lets him chase you for attention then you are too close to making him
obsessed with you
3) People with inflated Egos: People with inflated Egos might go after
those who ignore them just to teach them a lesson by ignoring them later
on. That's exactly what happened with Martin, in the beginning it was an
Ego issue but as the time passed it turned into obsession. This obsession in
turn turned into attachment and the guy ended up falling for the girl!
4) Revenge: People who want to seek revenge will give you some attention
as well. If you managed to lure them the right way then they will end up
thinking about you more often and these obsessive thoughts might turn
into attraction as well
Now the question is, how to make someone addicted to you? and what are the
steps that you should take in order to accomplish that goal?
Most people like to get attention from others but all people without exceptions
like to get attention from significant others.
I have said before that understanding the person you are trying to attract is an
essential step that can't be ignored because its the one that will determine how
will you present yourself to that person.
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How to give attention the right way
The next step is to start giving attention through messages, phone calls,
words...etc.
Keep on giving attention everyday, preferably during fixed times, until the person
gets used to this attention.
After some time stop completely and don't contact the person by any means. If
that person got addicted to you then he will try to call you back and this is when
you should be more unavailable. By doing so you will raise the attachment levels
of that person and he will become more addicted to you.
If you found that the person wasn't addicted to you yet then start giving more
attention once again while working on convincing him that you are among the
people who are significant to him.
Intensifying attraction
As soon as the person starts chasing you pull back even more. Make sure you only
pull back for few days so that you don't let him lose hope.
Its all about being unavailable when the person wants you but not being too
unavailable so that he don't lose hope. Imagine that you both are holding the two
ends of a rope, whenever your target pulls the rope relax it but don't overdo it
else the rope will slip from your hand.
After sometime the person will get addicted to you and making him love you will
be an easy task.
If someone loved you even for one day then this means that at a certain point of
time you managed to meet most of his important unconscious criteria.
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If this is the case then why do people breakup with others and move on?
If you understood how this process happens you will be able to get your ex back
in no time.
The subconscious criteria is not constant but it keeps changing as the person
progresses through life. If a person went through a certain situation that forced
him to rethink his criteria then he might lose interest in you if you didn't match
that new criterion he formed.
Sometimes the person's criteria will remain the same but your own behaviour will
change. The result will be the same in this case and you will no more match the
criteria of your lover.
Again you need to figure out the important criteria your lover used to look for and
to start the process of attracting him once again. Don't ever show that you posses
the traits your partner is looking for directly but instead do it indirectly through
actions.
when you want to get your ex back don't go and propose once again but instead
start by giving attention without showing your intention. As your ex gets used to
this attention once again start to pull back.
If your ex started going after you for this attention then become unavailable.
When you do so your ex will think about you even more and will start to put you
in mind once again.
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Be available when your ex pulls back then pull back when your ex chases you.
After some time your ex wont be able to withstand the pressure and your
proposal of getting back will be easily accepted.
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Do you want to know more?
This was just an introduction. Yes an introduction to the
psychology of falling in love. In order to know a lot more
about that topic then check out 2knowmyself’s best
books:
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How to make someone fall in love with you (based on the
psychology of falling in love)
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A Free e-book
By www.2knowmyself.com
The ultimate source for understanding yourself and others
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