Descriptive Writing

Describing an Event
Week of September 15-19
Alexis A Fruia
6th Grade English
Objectives
—  Understand the content and form of a
descriptive essay.
—  Plan, draft, revise, edit, and publish a
descriptive essay.
Descriptive Essay
—  Onekind of descriptive essay describes
an event by focusing on the important
actions or on one particularly exciting
part.
When you write a descriptive essay,
these questions can help you.
—  Observations: What did you see, hear,
and smell?
—  Impact: What details will stay with you
long after the event is over?
—  The 5 Ws: How would you answer the
Who? What? Where? When? and why?
Questions about the event?
Writing Guidelines
—  Subject:An Event
—  Purpose: To inform by clearly describing
an animal
—  Form: Descriptive essay
—  Audience: Classmates
“The Watcher in the Water”
—  What details in the beginning help show the
focus of the essay?
( big, olive green)
—  What are some of the sensory words that
are used in the middle part?
(slimy, sticky, “rom-rom-rom,” loud and deep)
—  In the ending, what action verbs does the
writer use that show us how the encounter
with the bullfrog concludes?
( twitched, leapt, twisted, pushed, listened)
Descriptive Essay Structure
—  Beginning: The beginning introduces the
animal being described to show the focus
of the essay.
—  Middle: the middle uses sensory word and
phrases, Each description focuses the
reader on the bullfrog and its
surroundings.
—  Ending: The ending tells how the writer’s
encounters with the bullfrog concludes.
Respond to Reading
—  Focus and Coherence
-What experience does the writer share?
-Seeing the Bullfrog in the river.
-What details focus the reader on the
bullfrog and its surrounding?
-The writer uses details that describe how
the bullfrog looks, sounds, and moves, and
details that describe how the river and
riverbank looked and felt.
Respond to Reading
—  Organization
-  How is the essay organized- by order of
importance, by location, or by other
order of importance and location?
-  The event is described by both time and
location. The writer describes where the
bullfrog is in relation to the river the
writer also uses location to describe the
event
Respond to Reading
—  Voice
-  What words show that the writer is
interested in the subject?
-  I listened carefully
-  I watched
-  I looked
Prewriting
Selecting a Topic
—  Think about animals you are familiar with,
such as dogs, cats, squirrels, and birds.
—  Remember!!! It is easier to describe
something that you have observed in
everyday life than something that you
have only read about.
 Topic Chart
Animal Descriptive Action
_______________________________ _______________________________
Tiger Stalks prey

Salmon Swims upstream to spawn

Peacock Roams around the zoo

Blue Jay Watches over a bird feeder

Hunting Dog Retrieves a duck

House Cat Curls up to sleep

Create a Topic Chart. In the first column, list different animals that you would like
to write about. In the second column, list an action or event related to each
animal, When you complete your charm select on animal for your essay.
Gathering Details
— As you plan your draft, you will need to gather details that develop
your thesis, or main idea, and keep you focused on your topic.
Throughout the essay. One way to do this is to analyze, or think
carefully about your topic.
Answer the following questions to analyze your topic.
-  What does the animal look like? ( describe it from top to bottom
or from front to back.)
-  What do I see, hear, smell or feel when I see or think about this
animal in action?
-  What is the animal similar to and different from?
-  What are its strengths and weaknesses?
Organizing your Details
—  When writing about an animal, you may use two different
organizational strategies in your essay- order of importance and
order of location.
—  Order of Importance- (least important to most important; most
important to least important):You will use this method of
organization to describe an event. The writer of the essay told
about he bullfrog using order of importance.
—  Order of Location- (Top to bottom, from front to back):You may
also use this method if part of your essay describes the animal in
detail.
List
1.  See the enormous peacock
2.  Roamed around the entrance
3.  Spread its huge tail feathers
4.  Peacocks dance around each other
5.  Tail feathers look like eyes
Organizing your Details
—  Imagine you are a filmmaker crating a move that shows an animal in its
habitat. Decide what organizational strategy is best. Use the strategy to list
details of scenes you will show your audience.

Using Figures of Speech

You can use figures of speech to make your descriptive writing
clearer and more creative.Two common figures of speech are
similes and metaphors.They both create special word pictures.
-A simile compares two different thing using like or as
EX:The owl swiveled its head from side to side like a security
camera.
-  A metaphor compares two different things without using like
or as.
EX:The bullfrog was a stone, sitting completely still.

TRY IT!! Write a simile or a metaphor about your animal in

action. If you like how either one turns out, include it in your
essay
FYI
—  Time order is also called chronological
order. Point our that writers often use
transition words to phrases like first, next,
last week, and next month to show the
order of events.
—  If you choose order of location to
describe an event, you might use words
or phrases like next to, before, above, or
below.
Drafting
—  Starting you Descriptive Essay
—  The beginning paragraph should introduce
the topic in a focused way. This tells your
reader what your essay is about and keeps it
organized. Here are two approaches to
writing a focused and exciting beginning.
—  Remember- You should start an essay by
placing yourself in the scene or by observing
the scene, you should use vivid details that
bring the scene to life.
Beginning Paragraph
—  Discusswhat the subject is in the first
sentence of each beginning ( the
narrator , the peacock), and discuss what
this change in point of view does to the
beginning.
Beginning Paragraph
—  Put yourself in the description. Tell
where you were, what you were doing, or
how you felt.
—  * The writer makes a personal connection.*
When I was younger, we visited the zoo on
Sunday afternoons. An enormous mean
peacock always roamed around near the
main entrance. I imagined that it was a
multicolored, screaming monster waiting to
attack. It terrified me.
Beginning Paragraph
—  Observe the Scene. Focus your
description on the animal, and not on
your personal connection with it. Be sure
that all of your details relate to the topic
to keep the paragraph coherent.
—  * The writer focuses on the animal. *
The peacock at the local zoo was enormous and mean. It
always roamed around near the main entrance.To some of
the younger kids, it wasn’t just a bird, it was a multicolored
screaming monster.
Using an Engaging Voice
—  Voice is the special way that a writer
expresses his or her ideas. A writer’s
voice engages the reader and keeps this
connection throughout the essay. Keep
the following tips about voice I mind as
you write.
—  - Use a natural, sincere voice and show
your enthusiasm.
—  -Share descriptive details as if you were
having a conversation.
Drafting
—  Writeyour beginning paragraph. Choose
one of the approaches above to draft a
focused, organized, and coherent
beginning paragraph. Try different
strategies until you are pleased with your
result.
Drafting
—  Developing the middle Part
—  In them middle paragraphs of your essay,
you should build on ideas to create a
clear, focused mental picture of your
animal. By using sensory details and
sharing feelings, you show the reader
what happened in a creative way. Use the
organization list strategies from Pg. 79 to
help you.
 I remember the peacock jumping in front of me
as I walked with my father, My first impression
was that if was taller than I was. A flurry of blue
and green swan in front of me as it bobbed back
and forth. I thought it was a hundred little eyes
  on is back but later realized it was just a pattern
on its brightly colored tail feathers.The peacock
opened it tiny pointy beak. I expected a sweet
little chirp. Instead I was shocked by it high-
pitched scream. I was definitely afraid, but
something made me want to get a closer look.
When my class visited the zoo a few weeks later
I set out to find the peacock again. I hid a safe
distance away, I could clearly see these eye-
shaped marks on is feathers. They were
surrounded by what looked like grass.The colors
of green, blue, orange, and gold were so bright
they almost sparked. I noticed that the peacock
had feathers standing on top of its head. It
seemed to be wearing a fancy hat.Those little
feathers bounced as it danced and bobbed at a
anyone who dared to walk to close. I spent the
whole field trip watching the peacock and hoping
it would not see me.
Drafting
—  Write you middle paragraphs. Use sensory
details and feeling to create a focused, well-
organized, coherent picture for your reader.
Try to describe one main scene in each
paragraph.
—  !!!!!!HELP!!!!!
—  If you have difficulty writing the middle part
of your essay, sketch two or three different
scenes in which your animal might be found.
This will help you gather details for each
paragraph.
Drafting
—  Ending your Essay
—  Your ending paragraph should bring your essay to a close and give
your reader a sense of completeness. Try to say something to keep
the reader thinking about your animal.
—  Ending Paragraph
—  The writer makes a final personal connection.

Most people think that peacocks are beautiful, gentle

birds. I agree that they are beautiful, but peacocks
don’t seem so gentle to me. I have heard their awful,
Screechy cries. I have seen those spooky tail feather
eyes that appear to follow my every move.That why
I chose to watch the peacock from a distance!
Drafting
—  Writeyour ending paragraph. When you
write your ending, be sure to stay focused
on your topic. Make a final comment or
tell about an event to help the readers
remember the animal.
Revising and Editing
—  A first draft can always be improved. You may need to
make a detail clearer and more focused or reorganize
ideas to ensure coherence.
—  Focus and Coherence: Do I have a clear topic? Do I stay
focused and coherent throughout the whole essay?
—  Organization: Do I organize the details in the order of
their importance? Do I tell about my animal using order
to location?
—  Development of Ideas: Do I use sensory words and
feelings to tell about my animal and its environment?
—  Voice: Do I sound interested in my topic?