FILIPINO SOCIAL NORMS

The Filipino society could be understood by looking on the people’s common and shared thought of
social standards and a deeper sense of values system which set by its kahalagahan, kagalingan and
kabuluhan that a social being should be able to follow to find him/her accepted in the collective
group.
I personally believe, that norms and values system of a society is a changing standard. Why so,
because the consciousness of the people depends on their social practice. The determinants of
Halaga: Katangian, Kagalingan and Kabuluhan varies a lot on what social class looks at it and what
prevailing culture affects mainly the ruling and middle class.
In the early communal times Filipinos used to pray to the “anitos” and “bathala” who lets nature
give them abundant supply of food for their well-being and sustenance, for their protection and
guidance. During the time that we still don’t have doctors for the barrio, the albularyo’s and
babaylan heal us by a mixture of herbal medicines and prayers to the gods and beings. In a
communal society, babaylan and albularyo who prays to the “anitos” and “bathala” for the well-
being of a person or a group’s endeavor is given a high social regard. They also play an important
role to the society while their authenticity is challenged by how effective their healing process
and prayers were.
The people of cordillera the “kalinga” have a strong valuing system of life. They consider a wound
by an evil doer to his victim as a threat to the life of the person. This evil doer is dealt with by the
tribe accordingly; to kill or attempt to kill a member of the tribe will involve the tribesmen killing
the villain to obtain justice. Life valuing of the Kalinga basically evolves in about life by respecting
your own and that of others. The people of cordillera also have a high regard to their ancestral
land being the land of their ancestors and the land where their children were raised and their
people lived in. The valuing of ancestral land seems to be universal as this practice is not only
seen in the practice of Filipino indigenous people but as well as of other races in some parts of the
world too.
During the Spanish colonization, Filipinos were forcibly subjected to accept a foreign culture even
a foreign god. The Spaniards baptized, dressed and made us talk and understand español.
Babaylan’s were murdered and condemned as they introduce to us a new religion: Catholicism:
the holy family and the saints. A Filipino woman who used to dress in baro’t saya is made to wear
European dresses. They were made to embody the characteristics of the Virgin Mary who was
depicted to be meek, obedient, silent, prayerful and forbearing. The Spanish culture of “sugal”
such as card games, mahjong and cockfighting as well as siesta permeated the culture of those
who cannot and refuse to resist.
Then presently we have the Americans, our valuing system was affected by what is in and
acceptable in the American culture. The American standards influences as not only physically but
psychologically and politically too. American music: pop, rock, ballad, r and b, and rap, American
food: chocolates, apple, oranges, grapes, canned goods etc. The concept of beauty became
someone who possesses a white skin, high bridged nose, blue eyes, long legs and other Barbie
doll characteristics. Truth has become so colored Filipinos can no longer define by himself what
and who he really is. Sovereignty is jaded by the scare that we are a terrorist hotbed and a
militarily weak country so we need to keep up Uncle sam’s help. Sovereignty is sovereignty with
uncle sam’s thumb meddling on our internal affairs such as the case of Nicole whose American
rapist Daniel Smith was convicted by the Manila tribunal court but was rejected by the Supreme
court through the aid of political pressures from the US of A.
Today, we only have a few remnants of original and good Filipino values and norms. The large and
overarching understanding of us as a people has become badly permeated by the culture of
another posing Supra country. Making our true culture a subculture of another will affect the
social practice and consciousness of a people thus, the norms and values system too. It has been
terribly affected to show a social norms and values system detached from reality. To understand
the norms and values system of the current generation, we must first consciously struggle to
decolonize our minds. Look around, our alignment to the global competition has affected even the
beggars; drop a coin and he’ll say thank you instead of salamat while I write about my people’s
norms and valuing system in a foreign tongue.

FILIPINO ETIQUETTE

One of the major controlling elements in Filipino society – undetected by most visitors – is hiya, a
difficult word to define, though essentially it means a sense of shame. Hiya is a factor in almost
all social situations. It is a sense of hiya that prevents someone asking a question, for fear he may
look foolish. It is hiya that sees many Filipinos refuse to disagree openly, for fear they may cause
offence. To not have hiya is a grave social sin. To be accused of being walang-hiya (to be
shameless) is the ultimate insult. Hiya goes hand in hand with the preservation of amor-propio
(the term literally means “love of self”), ie to avoid losing face. If you ever wonder why a Filipino
fails to broach awkward subjects with you, or to point out that your flies are undone, it is because
hiya and amor-propio are at work.
If you are ever in doubt about how to behave in the Philippines, bring to mind the value of
pakikisama, which in rough translation means “to get along”. Don’t flaunt your gauche liberal
values and don’t confront the waiter or bark insults if he gets your order wrong. This offends his
sense of amor-propio and marks you out as being an obnoxious walang-hiya foreigner. Talk to him
quietly and ask that the order be changed. The same rules apply with government officials, police,
ticket agents, hotel receptionists and cashiers. If there’s a problem, sort it out quietly and
patiently. A sense of delicadeza is also important to Filipinos. This might be translated as
“propriety”, a simple sense of good behaviour, particularly in the presence of elders or ladies.

Yes, no, maybe…

One of the root causes of frustration during social intercourse is the use of the word yes. In their
desire to please, many Filipinos find it difficult to say no. So they say yes instead. Yes (actually oo
in Tagalog, pronounced oh-oh, though most Filipinos would use the English word when talking to
foreigners) can mean one of a multitude of things, from a plain and simple “yes” to “I’m not
sure”, “perhaps”, “if you say so”, or “sorry, I don’t understand”. A casual yes is never taken as
binding. The concepts of hiya and amor-propio also filter through to the language in the form of a
multitude of euphemisms for the word no (hindi in Tagalog). Instead of replying in the negative, in
order not to upset you a Filipino will typically say “maybe” (siguro nga), “whatever” (bahala na)
or “if you say so” (kung sinabi mo ba e). These subtleties of language are symptomatic of the
unseen ebbs and flows of the tides that govern all social behaviour in the Philippines, few
foreigners ever fully coming to terms with the eddies and whirls underneath.

Questions and greetings

Filipinos are outgoing people who don’t consider it rude to ask personal questions. Prepare to be
pleasantly interrogated by everyone you meet. Filipinos will want to know where you are from,
why you are in the Philippines, how old you are, whether you are married, if not why not, and so
on and so forth. They pride themselves on their hospitality and are always ready to share a meal
or a few drinks. Don’t offend them by refusing outright.It’s still common for foreign men to be
greeted by passers-by with calls of “Hey Joe!” This harks back to the GI Joes of World War II and
American occupation.

Filipino time
Why do you never ask a Filipino to do something by the end of the week? He might think you’re
being pushy. That’s an exaggeration of course, but beyond the cities, the old joke still resonates
for longtime residents of the Philippines.In recent years, perhaps due to the number of young
Filipinos returning home after an overseas education, the attitude towards punctuality has begun
to change. For medical or work-related appointments you’ll need to be on time, but for social
gatherings turn up half an hour late: it is considered impolite to be on time for a party, for
instance, simply because it makes you look like a glutton who wants to grab the food. The speed
of service in restaurants in the Philippines has also improved, but you should still expect your
patience to occasionally be tested.

Gay and lesbian travelers

Few Filipinos, even the most pious, pay much heed to the Catholic Church regarding
homosexuality, and the prevailing attitude is that people can carry on doing what’s right for them.
Gay culture in the Philippines is strong and largely unimpeded by narrow-mindedness, with the
possible exceptions of politics and the military, where heterosexuality is still considered correct.
Gays are respected as arbiters of fashion and art, and beauty parlours are often staffed by
transsexuals.
The word bakla is used generically by many Filipinos and visitors to the Philippines to refer to
gays, but that would be inaccurate. A bakla considers himself a male with a female heart – a
pusong babae. Most are not interested in a sex-change operation and consider themselves a “third
sex”, cross-dressing and becoming more “female” than many women. Another category of male
homosexual is known as tunay ne lalake, men who identify themselves publicly as heterosexual
but have sex with other men. Homosexuals who aren’t out permeate every stratum of Philippine
society; rumours circulate almost daily of this-or-that tycoon or politician who is tunay ne lalake.
Lesbians are much more reticent about outing themselves than gay men, no doubt because there
is still societal pressure for young women to become the quintessential Filipina lady – gracious,
alluring and fulfilled by motherhood and the home (see Women travellers). Indeed, some Filipina
lesbians complain that the more outspoken tomboys – lesbians are often referred to as tomboys –
make the fight for women’s rights even harder.The gay scene is centred on the bars and clubs of
Malate in Manila, though there are also smaller scenes in other major cities such as Cebu, Davao
and Cagayan de Oro. The websites wwww.utopia-asia.com and wwww.fridae.com are useful
sources of info on local gay life.

Women travellers
Women travellers rarely experience problems in the Philippines, either travelling alone or as part
of a group. The culture, however, is a macho one and, especially in the provinces, foreign women
may experience being stared at or the occasional catcall or lewd comment in Tagalog. In the
barrios, Filipino men hold dear the oft-regurgitated image of themselves in local movies as gifted
romancers, able to reduce any lady to jelly with a few choice words and the wink of an eye.
Reacting to this attention is the worst thing you can do. If you smile and remain good-natured but
distant, your potential suitors will get the message and leave you alone. To shout back or to poke
fun, particularly if Romeo is with his friends, will cause him serious loss of face and lead to
resentment and the possibility that they will try to get back at you.
Modesty is essential to the behaviour of young Filipinas, especially in the provinces, and this
should also be the case with visitors. Shorts and T-shirts are fine for women anywhere, but bikinis
are only for the beach, and even then, it’s considered bad form to wander through a resort’s
restaurant or souvenir shop without covering up first (a sarong is perfect for this). Topless
sunbathing is unheard of among Filipinos, and tourists in popular resorts such as Boracay who
remove their clothes are likely to attract an amazed, gossiping crowd of locals. For some Filipino
men this reinforces the stereotype that foreign women on holiday are game for anything.