270 Style There is no one correct style of academic writing, and students should aim to develop their own ‘voice’. In general, it should attempt to be accurate, impersonal and objective. For example, personal pronouns like ‘I’ and idioms (i.e. informal language) are used less often than in other writing. This unit gives some guidelines for an appropriate style, but see also Units 3.2 Academic vocabulary, 3.4 Caution and 3.13 Verbs — passives. 1 Components of academic style Study this paragraph and underline any exameles of poor style. How to make people work harder is a topic that lots of people have written about in the last few years. There are lots of different theories ete and I think some of them are ok. When we think about this we should remember the old Chinese proverb, that you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. So how do we increase production? It's quite a complex subject but I'll just talk about a couple of ideas.151 2.10 Style Some of the problems with the style of this paragraph can be analysed as follows: How to make people work harder Imprecise vocabulary — use ‘motivation’ .-. lots of people... Vague - give names --. the last few years. Vague ~ give dates lots of different . . . Avoid ‘lots of sete. Avoid using ‘etc’ and ‘and so on’ eee Tthink Too personal +». are ok, Too informal When we think about this . Too personal ... the old Chinese proverb... Do not quote proverbs or similar expressions So how do we increase production? Avoid rhetorical questions It’s quite a... ... I'lljust talk about a couple... ‘The paragraph could be re-written: Avoid contractions Too personal and informal current economic climate. Motivation has been the subject of numerous studies during recent, decades, but this essay will focus on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs theory (1943) and Herzberg’s two-factor theory (1966). Their contemporary relevance to the need to motivate employees effectively will be examined critically, given that this can be considered crucial to a firm's survival in the182 Part 2 Elements of writing 2 Guidelines There are no rules for academic style that apply to all situations. The gs following are guidelines that should help you develop a style of your own, (a) Do not use idiomatic or colloquial vocabulary: kids, boss. Instead use standard English: children, manager. (b) Use vocabulary accurately. There is a difference between rule and lam, or weather and climate, which you are expected to know if you study these subjects. (c) Be as precise as possible when dealing with facts or figures. Avoid phrases such as about a hundred or hundreds of years ago. If it is necessary to estimate numbers use approximately rather than about. (d) Conclusions should use tentative language. Avoid absolute statements such as unemployment causes crime. Instead use cautious phrases: unemployment may cause crime or tends to cause crime. > See Unit 3.4 Caution (ec) Avoid adverbs that show your personal attitude: /uckily, remarkably, surprisingly. (6) Do not contract verb forms: don’s, can’t, Use the fall form: Do not, cannot. (g) Although academic English tends to use the passive more than standard English, it should not be over-used. Both are needed. Compare Galileo discovered the moons of Jupiter. The moons of Jupiter were discovered by Galileo. In the first case, the focus is on Galileo, in the second (passive) on the moons. D> See Unit 3.13 Verbs — passives (h) Avoid the following: + like for introducing examples. Use such as or for instance. * thing and combinations norbing or somerbing. Use firctor, issue or topic. + lots of, Use a significant / considerable number. + little / big. Use small / large.153 2.10 Style + ‘get’ phrases such as yer better / worse. Use improve and deteriorate. + good / bad are simplistic. Us g. the changes Jind several positive aspects. © positive / negative, Do not use question forms such as Why did war break oue in 19142 Instead use statements: There were three reasons for the outbreak of var (j) Avoid numbering sections of your text, except in reports and long ys. Use conjunctions and signposting expressions to introduce new sections (Turning to the question of detecting cancer . ..) (k) When writing lists, avoid using ete or and so on. Insert and before the last item: The main products were pharmaceuticals, electronic goods and confectionery. (I) Avoid using two-word verbs such as go on or bring up if there is a suitable synonym, Use continue or raise. > See Unit 3.2 Academic vocabulary 3 Practice In the following sentences, underline examples of bad style and re- write them in a more suitable way. (a) Another thing to think about is the chance of crime getting worse. (b) Regrettably these days lots of people don’t have jobs. (c} Sometime soon they will find a vaccine for malaria. (d) A few years ago the price of property in Japan went down alot.184 Part 2 Elements of writing (e) You can’t always trust the numbers in that report. (f) Sadly, the high inflation led to poverty, social unrest and so on (g) He was over the moon when he won the prize. (h) think we should paystudentstostudy. (i) A few years ago they allowed women to vote. (j), What were the main causes of the Russian revolution? ion and redundancy Repetition means repeating a word instead of using a synonym to provide variety, which makes the text more interesting. So instead of Most family businesses employ less than ten people. These businesses . .. Use: Most family businesses employ less than ten people. These firms . D> See Unit 3.11 Synonyms Redundancy, i.e, repeating an idea or including an irrelevant point, suggests that the writer is not fully in control of the material. It gives the impression that either he does not properly understand the language or is trying to ‘pad’ the essay by repeating the same point. Avoid phrases such as: Homelessness is a global problem in the whole world. Good writing aims for economy and precision: Homelessness is a global problem.155 2.10 Style In the following text, remove all repetition and redundancy, re-writing where necessary. FAST FOOD Currently these days, fast food is growing in popularity. Fast food is a kind of food that people can buy ready to eat or cook quickly. This essay examines the advantages of fast food and the drawbacks of fast food. First above all, fast food is very convenient. Most of the people who work in offices are very busy, so that they do not have time to go to their homes for lunch. But the people who work in offices can eat in restaurants such as McDonalds, which are franchised in hundreds of countries. In addition, the second benefit of fast food is its cheapness. As it is produced in large quantities, this high volume means that the companies can keep costs down. As a result fast food is usually less expensive than a meal in a conventional restaurant. 5 Varying sentence length are clear aud easy t0 real Ss Car scrappage schemes have been introduced in many countries. Short sentei But too many short sentences are monotonous: Car scrappage schemes have been introduced in many countries. They offer a subsidy to buyers of new cars. The buyers must scrap an old vehicle. The schemes are designed to stimulate the economy. They also increase fuel efficiency. Long sentences are more interesting but can be difficult to construct and read: Car scrappage schemes, which offer a subsidy to buyers of new cars, who must scrap an old vehicle, have been introduced in many countries; the schemes are designed to stimulate the economy and also increase fuel efficiency.156 Part 2 Elements of writing Effective writing normally uses a mixture of long and short sentences, often using a short sentence to introduce the topic: Car scrappage schemes have been introduced in many countries. They offer a subsidy to buyers of new cars, who must scrap an old vehicle. The schemes are designed to stimulate the economy and also increase fuel efficiency. 1 Rewrite the following paragraph so that instead of six short sentences there are two long and two short sentences. Eg Worldwide, enrolments in higher education are increasing. In developed countries over half of all young people enter college. Similar trends are seen in China and South America. This growth has put financial strain on state university systems. Many countries are asking students and parents to contribute. This leads to a debate about whether students or society benefit from tertiary education. The following sentence is too long. Divide it into shorter ones. 5.2 | China is one developing country (but not the only one) which has imposed fees on students since 1997, but the results have been surprising: enrolments, especially in the most expensive universities, have continued to rise steeply, growing 200 per cent overall between 1997 and 2001; it seems in this case that higher fees attract rather than discourage students, who see them as a sign of a good education, and compete more fiercely for places, leading to the result that a place at a good college can cost $5000 per year for fees and maintenance187 2.10 Style Until you feel confident in your writing, it is better to use shorter rather than longer sentences. This should make your meaning as clear as possible.