THE 21-DAY

PLAN
CHANGE YOUR HABITS, CHANGE YOUR LIFE: TAKE ACTION NOW!

A plan to replace bad habits with healthy ones to live a

great life without pornography. This document draws heavily
on the ideas of porn/sexual addiction expert Craig Perra.
How do you feel right now?

Are you here because your life feels chaotic or out of control? Maybe you and your
partner are fighting and she/he doesn’t trust you. You probably don’t trust yourself if
you know you need to quit and still haven’t. Do you waste time, energy, and effort on
porn—defending yourself, denying the problem, letting guilt, rage, or complacency
control you?

Here’s the brutal truth: Porn is a habit you created.

You are NOT a victim.

We drew on ideas of life coach and pornography/sex addiction expert Craig Perra
in creating this life-changing plan to get you started on a new, healthy life path. We
reached out to life coach and pornography/sex addiction expert Craig Perra to help
us come up with a plan to help you become accountable for your bad habit and get
you started on a new path. Craig says that “in order to break a habit you have to
make a habit.”

Breaking the habit of using porn is possible by forming new, healthy habits. This plan
utilizes mindfulness and connection with other people to build accountability
strategies—which are the opposite of feeling victimized by this.

The 21-day plan we outline below is going to help you get off porn by jumpstarting
habits that will completely improve your quality of life.

You are a person capable of living an amazing, fully engaged life.

It’s time to embrace personal accountability.

As Craig says, “Life is too short to suck.”

So let’s do this.

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PORN IS YOUR
#1 BAD HABIT…
…THAT HAS SNOWBALLED INTO CREATING
LOTS OF OTHER BAD HABITS
BAD HABIT #1:
PORNOGRAPHY

Leads to guilt, defensiveness, anger, shame, broken trust, relationship damage.

Which leads to many other bad habits:

Isolation, excessive screen time, poor health, poor sleep, self-desturctive behavior.

WHEREAS

SELF CARE

Proper nutrition, hydration, sleep, exercise, mindfulnes, asking for help.

Leads to forming healthy habits.

Which leads to connection, confidence, self-respect and no more pornography!

Your compulsive use of porn has become a bad habit that’s making you
complacent and accepting of a mediocre life. You’ve allowed it to take over,
which causes you tons of negative thoughts, guilt, and self-doubt as you deal
with it. All this negativity spills out into other areas of your life.

"OUR HABITS RULE OUR LIFE, GOOD AND BAD.

BAD HABITS PRODUCE MEDIOCRITY, MALAISE,
UNDER-ACHIEVEMENT, POOR PRODUCTIVITY,
AND OVERALL, A MISERABLE LIFE."
— Craig Perra

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When you walk around guilty, angry, defensive, etc., you’re more likely to eat
terrible food, skip the gym, procrastinate work and so on because you
subconsciously think that’s what you deserve. Your self-care goes down the drain
and you feel even worse about yourself.

Think about it: When you are waking up late, eating junk food, not exercising, not
drinking enough water, constantly looking at porn or mindless crap on your
phone… do you feel good about yourself? Do you like how you look in the mirror?
Do you feel like starting that new business, having heart-to-hearts with your kids,
making plans with great people?

Of course not.

Even worse, heavy porn use is compulsive—something habitually triggered by

outside stimuli. In other words, if you started looking when you were bored,
hungry, or at work then you always want to look when you’re bored, hungry, or at
work. The activity/environment/billboard/time of day triggers your porn use.

Another big trigger is when you’re upset—mad, hurt, jealous, offended, sad, etc.
Over time whenever you feel these things your habitual response starts to be “go
look at porn” to ease the negative feelings.

So breaking free of your #1 bad habit will take some dedication because you’ve
done a great job of making it difficult to quit. But once you start, you’ll find that it
gets easier.

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SETTING UP
THE 21-DAY PLAN
SELF-CARE IS NUMBER ONE

It is so important that bad habits are replaced with new ones that not only
override the trigger to look at porn, but also get you feeling better about yourself.

Self-care is a CRITICAL step toward getting yourself away from pornography. You
can’t quit without it because you’ll stay in the cycle of “watch porn, feel bad, eat/
drink/distract to cope with feeling bad, spiral into negative thinking, watch porn
to cope…”

Self-care is directly tied to self-love.

When you’re in full-on isolation porn mode, you are not showing love for yourself.
When you shirk responsibility, your self-respect is down the drain. When you stare
at devices instead of going outside or working out, you are not giving yourself
what you deserve. You are telling yourself that you’re perfectly content to hate
yourself.

Self-care leads to self-love and respect and is now your number one priority.

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 SELF-CARE: HOW TO DO IT

Our plan is about implementing self-care to break you out of your bad habits.

Craig says:

“You prove that you love yourself, that you want the best for yourself, when you
demonstrate it by taking care of yourself.

• You love yourself when you eat well.

• You love yourself when you sleep well.
• You love yourself by hydrating yourself well.
• You love yourself when you exercise.
• You love yourself when you are mindful.

Your quest to true accountability, accountability for yourself, comes from self-love
practiced through rigorous self-care.”

Here is why prioritizing this matters so much to living a great life:

Eating Healthy Food

• Eating well has been proven to improve your

overall health.
• Studies prove eating nutritious meals makes
you happier.
• Eating well also boosts your self-esteem
and improves your brain.

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 Getting Enough Sleep

• Proper sleep helps you with learning.

• During sleep you strengthen memories or
“practice” skills learned while you were
awake.
• Proper sleep can make you live longer and
improve your emotional life and creativity.
• Good sleep lowers stress and enhances emotional
stability.

Drinking Plenty of Water

• Lose weight.
• Live longer.
• Protect you from heart attacks.
• Prevent headaches.
• Ensure that you are giving your body what it needs to
function at its best.

Exercising Regularly

• Exercise improves your health and can prevent deadly diseases.

• Physically active men have a 30% to 40% reduction of relative risk to colon
cancer as compared to their inactive counterparts.
• Exercise can relieve stress and eliminate depression.
• Exercise can boost your confidence - this effect of exercise appears to be more
potent in those who have lower self-esteem.
• Exercise can improve your sex life. It helps you be a better lover.

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 Practicing Mindfulness

• It protects your brain.

• It helps you feel less stressed.
• It makes you a better person.
• It helps you better control your emotions and moods.
• It helps you sleep better.
• Is a key to win with Compulsive Behavior.

As you can see, by working on these five areas you can’t help but begin feeling
better, acting better, and breaking bad habits by giving yourself what you
deserve—self-love through self-care.

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ACCOUNTABILITY TO
ANOTHER PERSON

It is so important that you share your struggle with another person. This is really
hard for most people because of the way pornography affects our culture. People
don’t want to reach out because they feel

a. ashamed about themselves

b. embarrassed to make a deal out of it
c. afraid of rejection
d. embarrassed in general
e. combination of the above.

Our culture normalizes pornography by making it seem stupid, lame, or “unmanly”

to bring it up to another dude as a problem. Because of hypermasculine BS like
this the problem remains and continues dragging people down. Reaching out to a
friend and telling them what you’re doing not only removes the stigma of your
secret but allows your friend to take the issue seriously—even to open up
themselves about their own struggle.

Accountability requires honesty to yourself and a partner to help keep you on

track. We all need help and reaching out will 100% make this process more
doable for you.

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ACCOUNTABILITY THROUGH
MINDFULNESS

We know that bad habits equal bad results.

But guess what: Mindfulness is the opposite of habit.

Mindfulness is about pausing and paying attention on purpose, in the present

moment, without judgement and NOT automatically reacting to external stimuli.
It is about holding yourself accountable to your thoughts and actions. It’s about
taking a minute to breathe, to unplug from the habit-filled daily routines and
being present.

Practicing mindfulness will 100% change your life. It will keep you focused on
self-care and away from porn.

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 MINDFUL BREATHING
Here is an easy mindfulness exercise that I want you to do right now. It’s one that
Craig does with his one-on-one clients. You can do it anywhere and it’s powerful.

• Sit down, hold your back straight, close your eyes almost all the way, put your
hands in your lap, and breathe.
• Breathe and count your breaths to 10. It’s that easy.
• Focus ONLY on your breaths and counting.
• Breathe in, out - one; in . . . out . . . two.

Watch how quickly the mind starts racing and thinking of other things. Most
people can’t get to three or four their first try. When you get distracted and lose
count, gently bring your focus back to your breaths and the counting. Breathe,
and count your breaths . . . that’s it.

Do this for 10 minutes a day - see how high you can count before your mind
wanders. Even if it feels like it’s not helping I promise it is! This is a MUST and
it’s easy.

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SELF
ASSESSMENT
Before moving forward with the actual 21-day plan, take a minute to jot down
your thoughts about how you are currently doing with self-care.

Be honest, and think about how your current habits here could be influencing your
porn use and vice versa. For example, if you are doing great in nutrition and
exercise but have zero effort in mindfulness/self reflection, that shows you that
you’re probably avoiding the big picture.

Or if you eat an entire bag of white cheddar Cheetos after watching porn, your
mindless unhealthy eating habits are contributing to your mindless porn use.

Maybe you stay up too late at night and inevitably go to pornography. Everything
is connected here.

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What negative patterns have you created that get in the way of quitting porn in
each of these categories?

Sleep

Hydration

Exercise

Nutrition

Mindfulness

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What is 1 new healthy habit you WILL create in each of these categories to
support your recovery?

Sleep

Hydration

Exercise

Nutrition

Mindfulness

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THE PLAN:
WHAT GETS MEASURED GETS DONE

We’re going to help you get your life back on track with three simple steps.

STEP 1
FIND AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER

The first part is to reach out to someone you trust—a sibling, parent, pastor,
neighbor, or good friend who cares about you and will hold you to your word.
Sometimes this is a spouse, but since spouses/partners are often the ones who
deal with the heaviest negative results of your porn habit, be sure to ask them first
if they want to be the ones helping you stay accountable. Otherwise, moms, dads,
brothers, sisters, therapists, and pastors are all good choices.

The goal with step 1 is to connect and get all of this out in the open. Did you
know that the opposite of addiction is connection?

Let me repeat that: The opposite of addiction is connection.

This trusted friend is your new accountability partner. You will have regular
conversations with them throughout the 21 days about how you’re doing. We
recommend agreeing on a nightly check in, where you send them a text or email
to report how you did that day on your fundamental five areas.

Your accountability partner is there to help you keep yourself on track. Ask them to
nudge you if you don’t check in. Ask them to be positive and supportive while you
work on a better version of yourself.

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 STEP 2
MEASURE YOUR PROGRESS FOR 21 DAYS ON
THE SCORECARD & REPORT TO PARTNER

Step two starts with printing out the “21 Days to New Habits” scorecard below
and commit to being accountable to yourself in the five areas that Craig has
outlined as fundamental for forming new habits. This chart’s purpose is to help
you start tracking where you are running on autopilot and consciously making
changes.

Research shows that it takes 21 days to form new habits. So for 21 days, score
yourself between 1-4 on each of the five areas: eating, sleeping, drinking,
exercising and practicing mindfulness. For 21 days check in with your
accountability partner and report on your behavior. Talk to your accountability
partner about how you did that day with porn too. Keep a personal log of how
often you looked at porn. Hold yourself accountable by writing it down. Do your
very best! Ditch fast food, drink plenty of water, hit the gym or trails, and do your
mindful exercises.

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 21 DAYS TO NEW HABITS
Eating Sleeping Hydration Exercise Mindfulness

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

Day 5

Day 6

Day 7

Day 8

Day 9

Day 10

Day 11

Day 12

Day 13

Day 14

Day 15

Day 16

Day 17

Day 18

Day 19

Day 20

Day 21

Score yourself between 1 and 4 in each of the fundemental five areas daily.

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 STEP 3
RECORD YOUR RESULTS & MAKE A NEW PLAN

After 21 days take a look at your results. Assess how you feel. Add up your
scorecard and determine what areas of your health you still need to work on.
Remember, when you bring acute and careful attention to the habits in your life
that are holding you back, you realize that you are probably depriving your body
and mind of the basic things that it needs to function properly.

You will have been accountable for your actions for 21 days. That is a really,
really great start.

You will be actively pursuing self confidence, self esteem, and self love.

You will be replacing the bad habit of porn with new, healthy habits.

You will be mindful of what is going on in your life, your head, and your heart.

When you’re finished, shoot us an email and tell us how you did!

To elevate your recovery the next step is downloading our software on your
devices, which will report the websites and apps you look at to that same trusted
friend you already are connecting to. We will help you take your progress to the
next level and get you off porn for good.

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In fact, 93% of Ever Accountable users have completely quit and are experiencing
better lives.

Don’t lose the progress you’ve made:

Sign up now at www.everaccountable.com

Remember, you’re not a victim of life circumstances—you are completely capable

of following through with excellent choices. Keep these new habits strong! If you
need a little more insight into your own behavior, fill out the postassessment below
for insight and direction.

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What positive patterns have you created over the last 21 days that have helped
you improve in these 5 areas?

Sleep

Hydration

Exercise

Nutrition

Mindfulness

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What is 1 new healthy habit you WILL long-term commit to in each of these
categories?

Sleep

Hydration

Exercise

Nutrition

Mindfulness

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COPY BY KATIE PATTERSON FOR
EVER ACCOUNTABLE DESIGN BY
JON WOON FOR EVER ACCOUNTABLE
CONSULTING BY JACOB BECK FOR
EVER ACCOUNTABLE

Thanks to Craig Perra & The Mindful Habit

www.themindfulhabit.com

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