The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language

By Jamie Smart

The Top 10 Secrets of

NLP Coaching Language

By Jamie Smart

Limits of Liability / Disclaimer of Warranty:

The author and publisher of this book and the accompanying materials have used
their best efforts in preparing this program. The author and publisher make no
representation or warranties with respect to the accuracy, applicability, fitness, or
completeness of the contents of this program. They disclaim any warranties
(expressed or implied), merchantability, or fitness for any purpose. The author and
publisher shall not be held liable for any loss or other damages, including but not
limited to incidental, consequential, or other damages. The author and publisher
make no claims for any medical benefits of this program. The advice of a competent
medical professional should always be sought in the case of health matters.
Copyright in this document belong to the author. The author also asserts the right to
be identified as such and to object to any misuse.

©2006 Jamie Smart 1 www.saladltd.co.uk

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 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

Table of Contents

Read This First 3

Who is this e-book for? 4
What is NLP Coaching Language? 5
Why Learn NLP Coaching Language 5

#1 – Prepare Yourself First 6

#2 - Believe In Yourself and Your Client 8
#3 – Pre-Frame for Success 9
#4 - Establish and Maintain Rapport 10
#5 – Set A Direction 11
#6 – Watch & Listen 12
#7 – Clear Obstacles and Gather Resources 14
#8 – Use Softeners 15
#9 – Gather Evidence 16
#10 - Wire In The Language Patterns 18

NLP Coaching CardsTM 19

More Information 29
About the author 31
Acknowledgements 31

©2006 Jamie Smart 2 www.saladltd.co.uk

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 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

Read This First

Welcome to The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Langauge. My name’s

Jamie Smart. I’m an NLP trainer, author, and creator of NLP Coaching
CardsTM, the world’s leading resource for learning NLP coaching
language, and I’d like to say “thank-you” to you for reading this e-
book. I’d also like to ask you to please send this e-book to your
friends and colleagues, because it will help them, it will help me to
reach more people, and because it will make you feel good too! If
you’ve been sent this e-book by someone else, then make sure that
you sign up for the FREE NLP Coaching newsletter that
accompanies it, here: www.saladltd.co.uk/nlpcoaching.htm

Once you do, you will be sent new issues on a regular basis to learn
from. It will only take a minute to read, but you’ll be amazed at the
skills you start developing quickly.

This book complements our NLP Coaching CardsTM. I’ll be referring to

the cards in the newsletter, but when you buy the cards and get the
patterns now, you can unlock the massive potential this book reveals
immediately.

If you want to really accelerate your learning, go to the Salad

website and order your own deck of NLP Coaching CardsTM. These
cards are quite simply the fastest way there is to develop your skills in
using NLP coaching language. The insights you’ll be getting from the
newsletter complement the patterns on the cards, so when you have
both, it will really turbo-charge your learning. For more information
about how you can learn fast just by playing cards, go to
http://www.saladltd.co.uk/NLP_Coaching_Cards.htm

©2006 Jamie Smart 3 www.saladltd.co.uk

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 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

Who is this e-book for?

This e-book is for people who are interested in helping themselves to

resolve issues and reach their goals more quickly and easily, and for
helping others to do the same. It will be of particular interest to
executive coaches, life coaches, therapists, hypnotists, trainers,
managers, salespeople, consultants, networkers, students of NLP,
health-workers, doctors and other healers.

Introduction

One of the first things that attracted me to Neuro-linguistic

Programming (NLP) was language. I’ve always loved language, and
was amazed when I heard about some of the things that you can do
with it.

One of the things that was mentioned in many of the books I read was
a powerful set of language patterns called The Meta-model, a set of
questioning tools modeled by Richard Bandler and John Grinder from
two of the therapeutic geniuses of the 20th century, Fritz Perls and
Virginia Satir.

It was the first creation in the field of NLP, and formed the basis for
subsequent discoveries in the field. The Meta-model works on the
following principle: people don’t experience reality directly, but rather
through the ‘maps’ of reality they create in their minds. When people
have a problem or challenge, it does not typically exist ‘in reality’ - it
exists in their map of reality. If you can enrich their map, their
experience of the world will become richer. Enrich their map enough,
and their problems will be solved, their challenges overcome.

The Meta-model is the principle tool for discovering where and how to
enrich a person’s map. I was hooked. I told myself “You have to learn
how to do this!” So I did. In the course of my studies, I tried lots of
approaches, and experimented. I tried things that worked, and many
more that didn’t. This short e-book is a distillation of some of the most
powerful approaches I’ve learned for ensuring that your coaching is
effective.

As you read this you'll start to see ways that you can fine-tune and
improve our coaching abilities right away. Read on and I'll show you a
way you can accelerate your learning of these patterns later.

©2006 Jamie Smart 4 www.saladltd.co.uk

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 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

What is NLP Coaching Language?

NLP Coaching language is a set of questions and linguistic tools that

are amazingly powerful for helping people to solve problems, enrich
their maps of reality, and get the results they desire. For a detailed list
of the sort of linguistic tools you can learn, check out the NLP Coaching
Cards page at http://www.saladltd.co.uk/NLP_Coaching_Cards.htm - it
contains a list of ‘features’ that will start to give you an idea of the
kind of things that become possible as you begin learning to use
language in this powerful way.

Why Learn NLP Coaching Language

NLP Coaching Language (including the infamous NLP Meta-Model) is

the most powerful set of questions and linguistic tools there is for
helping people to solve problems, make changes and get what they
want. Why? Because they use the power of a person’s unconscious
mind to help them discover resources and solutions.

While the conscious mind enjoys the illusion of control, it’s actually the
unconscious that’s making the important decisions in a person’s life.
That means that if you can get in touch with someone’s unconscious
(including your own), you can make an incredible diffeence, quickly,
easily and elegantly. Here are just some of the reasons for you to
learn NLP Coaching Language:

• Feel confident that you can discover the information that really
matters in any situation. People pay good money for this!

• Ask questions that amaze your clients, you colleagues, your

friends and even yourself with the quality of answers you’ll get.

• Relax, knowing that you will never be stuck for what to say or ask
again.

• Overcome barriers and obstacles that have been holding people

back. You’ll see real progress!

• Feel good, knowing that you really make a difference in

people’s lives.

©2006 Jamie Smart 5 www.saladltd.co.uk

All Rights Reserved
 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

NLP Coaching Language Tip

#1 – Prepare Yourself First

Before you set out to coach someone, it’s important to prepare

yourself. There are three things that you can do in advance to make a
huge difference in the quality of the coaching experience, whether
you’re coaching yourself or another person. They are:

• Set a ‘coaching intent’

• Go quiet inside
• Accept yourself and trust

Set a ‘coaching intent’

Robert Dilts (a leading developer of NLP) studied excellent ‘healers’ in
many walks of life (doctors, therapists, coaches, medicine men etc).
He found that while they had many different approaches, there was
something all these great healers shared in common: they all had a
‘healing intent’. A healing intent is the intention and desire that
whatever they are doing be for the healing of the person involved.

When it comes to coaching, and using NLP Coaching Language, it is

important to have what I call a ‘coaching intent’ – the intention and
desire that whatever you do has the effect of helping the person to
move forward in their life in a way that is positive and appropriate for
them. If you use NLP Coaching language without a coaching intent,
people can ‘feel’ it, and sometimes react defensively or just ‘shut
down’. So set a coaching intent for your interactions.

Accept yourself and trust

Before you begin, accept yourself exactly as you are, and trust that
you will be able to help the person you are coaching in some way. If
your beliefs include the idea of an unconscious mind, or God, or
universal life force etc, you might like to trust that this ‘power greater
than yourself’ will help you with the process – or you may just wish to
trust yourself and your abilities. Either way, the combination of
acceptance and trust puts you in a powerful space to begin the
coaching process.

Go quiet inside
Internal dialogue significantly hampers sensory acuity, so turn it off.
Minimise your internal dialogue by breathing deeply, relaxing your
throat muscles, placing the tip of your tongue just behind your upper
front teeth and letting your jaw drop slightly. You’ll see and hear

©2006 Jamie Smart 6 www.saladltd.co.uk

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 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

more! If your internal dialogue interrupts your awareness, say “Shut

the &*!% up!” inside your head.” Repeat as necessary.

This may take some practice at first, but as you persevere, you will be
amazed at how much you are able to see and hear which used to be
invisible. For a number of methods for turning off your internal
dialogue, check out NLP for Business & Personal Success
www.saladltd.co.uk/nlp_business_and_personal_success_cd_set.htm

©2006 Jamie Smart 7 www.saladltd.co.uk

All Rights Reserved
 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

NLP Coaching Language Tip

#2 - Believe In Yourself and Your Client

Your beliefs about yourself and the world have a massive effect on how
you respond. Your beliefs about your client will be communicated to
them in everything you say and do. If you believe that your client
won’t go into a trance, then they won’t. If you believe that they’re an
excellent hypnotic subject, then they’re much more likely to be.

If you have difficulty believing that your client can find the solutions to
all their problems, and live an amazing life, then just pretend. Milton
Erickson used to say “You can pretend anything and master it”, so
while you’re at it, pretend that you’re an extraordinarily fast learner,
and have already begun to master NLP Coaching Language.

This idea of ‘pretending’ may seem a bit ‘low-tech’, but it actually has
a proven track record. You see, your unconscious mind doesn’t
distinguish between a real experience and a vividly imagined one. If
you vividly imagine that your client is capable of making changes,
your unconscious will start to communicate that belief to them. These
communications will come out in the language you use, the gestures
you employ, your voice tone etc.

The amazing thing is that these subtle communications are exactly the
sort of thing that their unconscious mind will pick up on! It’s actually a
far more powerful level of communication than just saying to someone
“You are capable of far more than you think you are”, so it’s well worth
exploring.

For more about belief change, visit the Salad archive or check out our
Art of Being CDs at http://www.saladltd.co.uk/art_of_being_8CD.htm

©2006 Jamie Smart 8 www.saladltd.co.uk

All Rights Reserved
 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

NLP Coaching Language Tip

#3 – Pre-Frame for Success

When I’m coaching someone, I do various things to ‘set the frame’ in a

general, positive way before setting / eliciting a specific direction for
the interaction. I got this idea from a book which said something like
“The fact that you’re reading this means you can easily incorporate
these new ideas into your life”. I set the frame by saying things like
this:

• “The fact that you’ve come here today means you’ll be able to make
whatever changes you want in your life.”

• “You’ve decided to engage me as your coach, which means you’ll be

able to achieve your goals enjoyably.”

The logicians among you will recognise that these statements wouldn’t
pass a logic test, but the unconscious mind isn’t too stringent about
logic. If the person accepts the statement as true (and they usually
do), then the unconscious will act accordingly. The structure of these
frame-setting statements is this:

X means Y
A causes B

So, who do you want to positively influence? It could be actual

coaching clients, other clients, employees, friends, family etc. As you
take a few moments to think about the situation, you can start to
become aware of some ideas you could use. One of my favourites for
almost any coaching situation is something like this:

“You learned to walk and talk, and you don’t even know how you did
it. That means that the things you’ll be learning today are going to be
really straightforward for you.”

I use these all the time, and the ONLY time I get rumbled is by
experienced NLP Practitioners (and even then, it’s usually only the
ones I’ve trained to pay close attention to language). One of the things
you start to find after you spend some time on a training course with
me or listen to some Salad CDs is that it becomes a lot more fun to
listen. Sometimes my assistants and more experienced students have
trouble keeping a straight face on trainings when I’m embedding
positive suggestions in seemingly ‘innocent’ stories and sentences!

©2006 Jamie Smart 9 www.saladltd.co.uk

All Rights Reserved
 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

NLP Coaching Language Tip

#4 - Establish and Maintain Rapport
Rapport has been described as what happens when we get the
attention of someone’s unconscious mind, and meet them at ‘their
map of the world.’ It is more commonly understood as the sense of
ease and connection that develops when you are interacting with
someone you trust and feel comfortable with.

Being able to get into rapport with other people isn't just a key for
successful coaching; it's also one of the most fun, enjoyable and
relaxing skills you can learn. People like to be around people who get
into rapport with them.

NLP Coaching Language works most effectively when you are in

rapport with the person or people you are communicating with.

Why is it important?

People are social creatures, and we often need to work with other
people to achieve what we want. This means that an ability to
communicate influentially is one of the most valuable skills a person
can have. Warning: If you use NLP Coaching Language and
meta-model questions without rapport, the other person may
become defensive.

An important aspect of influential communication is creating a

connection with the other person, and making them feel understood.
Council’s in ancient Greece had a powerful approach for helping
resolve disputes: The first person would state their case. The second
person then had to re-state the first person’s case to the satisfaction of
the first person before stating their case. Marshall Rosenberg, creator
of Non-violent Communication, claims that he can resolve longstanding
marital disputes within 20 minutes of the point where each partner can
accurately state the needs of the other partner. He says, however, that
it often takes quite a bit longer to get to the point where they can do
that.

These are examples of meeting someone at their map of the world

using verbal techniques. There are many ways to get into rapport both
verbally and non-verbally, using behavioural techniques, vocal
flexibility and internal shifts of consciousness. For details and
exercises, check out NLP for Business & Personal Success
www.saladltd.co.uk/nlp_business_and_personal_success_cd_set.htm

©2006 Jamie Smart 10 www.saladltd.co.uk

All Rights Reserved
 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

NLP Coaching Language Tip

#5 – Set A Direction

Human neurology is ‘goal-seeking’ and will always tend to organise

around a specific result or set of results. These results are referred to
in NLP as ‘outcomes’. Whether you help a person work on a specific
outcome (eg earning a million dollars) or help them explore a certain
direction (Eg. becoming financially free), it’s important for them to
have something to aim at.

Finding out what someone wants sets a direction for the coaching
session. Ways of finding this out include the following:

- What do you want?

- What have you come here for?
- What can I do for you?
- What’s the problem?
- The Miracle Question (see NLP Coaching CardsTM for this and oth­
er fantastic goal-discovering questions)

All of these have different presuppositions (“What’s the problem”

presupposes that the person has some problem they’ve come to solve,
and may not be useful in many situations, but in some it is. Frank
Farrelly, creator of Provocative Therapy, uses this question as his
starting point).

My fave is still “What do you want?”, but the others all have value in
different situations.

Once you know what someone wants, you can further clarify their goal
using other queries which you’ll find on the NLP Coaching Cards TM
(http://www.saladltd.co.uk/NLP_Coaching_Cards.htm)

The key is to help a person get a clear idea of how they would like
things to be. Once you have this, you have a direction for the process.

To hear this being used with a group and with individuals, check out
NLP for Business & Personal Success -
www.saladltd.co.uk/nlp_business_and_personal_success_cd_set.htm

©2006 Jamie Smart 11 www.saladltd.co.uk

All Rights Reserved
 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

NLP Coaching Language Tip

#6 – Watch & Listen

“Watch and listen?!?” I hear you ask. “How dull”. But wait. According
to NLP co-developer Richard Bandler, 95% of NLP is information-
gathering.

I often get emails from people asking things like “What technique do
you use to help a one-eyed mother of four overcome her inexplicable
fear of dwarves which emerges when she’s doing the dishes?” The
technique I use is…watch and listen.

I believe that when you’re working with someone and you have the
attention of their unconscious mind (rapport), the unconscious will do
everything within its power to tell you exactly what you need to know
in order to help the person make he necessary changes. The coach’s
role involves having the sensory acuity to intercept those messages
from the unconscious. So how are those messages sent?

• Body language • Throw-away • Ambiguities

• Gestures comments • Organ language
• Eye movements • Sensory • etc
language

I’d like you to consider the possibility that your clients are offering you
a wealth of clues to help them find solutions to their problems and the
paths to their desires.

95% of NLP is information-gathering. Watch and listen.

Of course, sometimes you need to ‘stimulate’ a person’s nervous

system in order to gather the necessary information. And how do you
stimulate their nervous system? Questions.

And the most useful set of questions out there is…The Meta Model.

The Meta Model (created by Bandler and Grinder) is the most powerful
set of questions there is for helping people enrich their maps of the
world. Bandler credits it as being the tool which helped them create all
the other NLP models.

Astonishingly (to me) the Meta Model is not taught in depth on most
Practitioner trainings these days. This is because it’s traditionally seen

©2006 Jamie Smart 12 www.saladltd.co.uk

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 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

as being “difficult”, but it’s not! We’ve pioneered using approaches for
learning the Meta Model quickly and easily using games which make it
fun. The great thing is, by the time you realise how easily you can do
it, the learnings have already gone in.

If you don’t have a set of NLP Coaching CardsTM yet, go to

http://www.saladltd.co.uk/NLP_Coaching_Cards.htm to get yours now.
You’ll learn the Meta-Model, the most powerful information-gathering
tool there is!

©2006 Jamie Smart 13 www.saladltd.co.uk

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 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

NLP Coaching Language Tip

#7 – Clear Obstacles and Gather Resources

When you’re coaching someone, you can assume that they have
already tried whatever they’ve been able to think of consciously to
make the changes they want to make – that’s why they’re talking to
you!

Part of your role as coach is to help someone set a clear direction, then
gather the resources they’ll need for the journey, and clear obstacles
out of the way.

There are some ‘NLP Presuppositions’ that are particularly useful –

pretend that these are true (if you don’t believe them already):

• There’s a solution to every problem

• People already have all the resources they need
• Anything’s possible

When you ‘believe’ these in relation to yourself and your coaching

clients, you suddenly start to find answers appearing that may
previously have evaded you. Of course, there are specific question that
are particularly useful, for example:

If someone has an obstacle, and says “I can’t…”, you can ask “What
stops you?”, or “What would happen if you did / could?”

“What stops you?” will get you information about the obstacle, both
verbal and non-verbal.

“What would happen if you did / could?” gets the person to imagine
going beyond the obstacle, which is often something they’ve never
imagined.

When you go through your NLP Coaching Cards, you’ll find variations
on thes questions that can help you to clear obstacles, gather
resources, and often make changes instantly (sometimes helping
people let go of something that’s held them back for years, just by
well-chosen questions!) Learn about all the tools you get here:
http://www.saladltd.co.uk/NLP_Coaching_Cards.htm

©2006 Jamie Smart 14 www.saladltd.co.uk

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 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

NLP Coaching Language Tip

#8 – Use Softeners

Legend has it that when Bandler and Grinder first taught the Meta-
Model to a group of university students, the students immediately
went out and alienated friends and family by using the questions
inappropriately, and without gaining rapport (“I love you.” – “What
would happen if you didn’t?” etc). As a result, NLP Practitioners are
now taught to build rapport before being taught the Meta-Model!

NLP Coaching language is so powerful and revealing that it can seem

intrusive and even ‘bullying’ if not asked in an appropriate way
(remember, body language and voice tone make up a significant
amount of what you communicate to someone). So I suggest that
people:

• Use a gentle, curious voice tone

• Use softeners

Softeners are short phrases that you can put at the beginning of a
question that make it more gentle and palatable. For instance:

Raw Question Softened Question

What do you want? I’m wondering what it is that you want?
What stops you? I’m curious to know what stops you?
How do you know? I’d like to ask you how you know that?

When you combine the softeners with a gentle, curious voice tone and
rapport, people really start to open up and give you the information
you are looking for. Of course, mind and body are one system, so one
way to ensure that your voice tone is curious is to get into a curious
state, or a state of what Eric Robbie (top NLP trainer) calls “I
wonder…”

This makes the difference between an interrogation and a positive

inquiry, and the results will speak for themselves.

©2006 Jamie Smart 15 www.saladltd.co.uk

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 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

NLP Coaching Language Tip

#9 – Gather Evidence

One of my favourite NLP queries is “How do you know?” While I love

using it for information gathering, I was pleasantly surprised back in
February when someone on our NLP Practitioner training asked me
“How do you know when someone you’re working with has
experienced a real change?”

One of the things that those of you doing coaching or changework of

any sort may already have experienced is that clients often want to
please you. Sometimes, this means that they will consciously report
that some sort of internal change has taken place, even when it hasn’t.
I got fooled by this a few times when I first started doing changework
with people, so over the years I’ve developed a kind of ‘spidey-sense’
about whether people have really experienced a shift, or whether
they’re just trying to please me. When the Practitioner asked me “How
do you know?”, I had to go inside my own experience & make explicit
some of the things I’m responding to that let me know a change has
taken place. So, some of the things that let me know that someone
I’m working with has made a change or a shift in a certain area are:

Long-term change in circumstances

This is the most reliable indicator of change. If you help someone to
stop smoking, & a year later they still aren’t smoking, that’s an
excellent sign that the change has taken place. If they’re enjoying life
as a non-smoker, that’s even better!

Reality-based testing
If you do a phobia cure with someone who has a fear of dogs, go find
a dog! If you think you’ve sorted out their fear of heights, find a tall
building. If they were scared of talking to people, get them to go out &
speak with strangers. Whenever I do changework with people, I want
to find the most immediate way to test my work that I can. One of the
great things about doing this is that if the change has worked, the test
creates a strong convincer for the person. If it hasn’t worked, then you
know asap that there’s more to do.

Imaginary testing
Sometimes, it isn’t practical to go out during a session and conduct a
test. If you do a phobia cure with someone who has a fear of flying,
you may not want to wait until they next fly to find out if it’s worked.
Fortunately, the nervous system processes a vividly imagined

©2006 Jamie Smart 16 www.saladltd.co.uk

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 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

experience in a very similar way to a ‘real’ experience. Get them to

vividly imagine the context where they wanted a change (“See what
you’d see, hear what you’d hear, & feel what you’d feel etc), & notice
their non-verbal responses (skin colour, breathing rate, expression
etc). If you already know how to use hypnosis, you can intensify the
experience by leading them into a trance first.

Involuntary “shifts”
When a person experiences a shift in their patterns of thought &
associated behaviours, their ‘involuntary patterns’ also change. If you
are tracking these patterns prior to the change, you can notice the
differences after the change has taken place. Examples include:

- Skin colour changes (especially around the face, neck & upper chest)
- Postural shifts (general posture, head-tilt, etc)
- Eye-accessing (the patterns of their eye-movements)
- Sensory words
- Internal strategies (their sequences of internal sensory processing)
- Meta-programs
- etc

Covert questioning
This is one of my favourites. You can use an embedded question (Eg.
“With some clients I ask ‘Has your unconscious mind really accepted
this change’, but with you it seems clear”) & observe their unconscious
response. If you are in rapport, their head will nod or shake depending
on their unconscious mind’s answer to the embed ‘Has your
unconscious mind really accepted this change’. Sneaky, huh!

Changes in other patterns / novelty

If the client reports sudden & major shifts in other areas of their life,
or changes a habitual pattern during the session, this can be an
indication of change.

The conscious mind report

The conscious mind report (“My goodness, I feel so much better.
Thank-you, you really are amazing!”) is (sadly) the least reliable
evidence of change. In my opinion, the unconscious mind is running
the show. All of the above evidences of change are reports from the
unconscious mind. These are always more reliable than the conscious
mind report.

©2006 Jamie Smart 17 www.saladltd.co.uk

All Rights Reserved
 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

NLP Coaching Language Tip

#10 - Wire In The Language Patterns

NLP Coaching Language (particularly the NLP Meta-Model) is the most

powerful tool there is for enriching people’s models of reality,
solving problems and helping reach goals. The great thing about it is
this: the fact that you can read this book means you already have all
the skills necessary to learn NLP Coaching Language. All that is
required now is some practice. There are a number of techniques that
can help you learn to use this language with effortless elegance:

• Get a set of the language patterns to study. They are available on

Salad’s NLP Coaching CardsTM, with examples of how to use them.

• Write out examples of the language patterns to wire them in to

your neurology at a deep level. If you write out examples of the
Meta-Model patterns and challenges 100 times, it will go a long way
to embedding them automatically in your speech.

• Use Salad’s NLP Coaching CardsTM to play card games using the
language patterns. Play makes learning fast and fun, so games
increase your learning speed. Then you can become curious about
just how quickly your unconscious will begin to surprise you by
allowing these patterns to emerge in your language spontaneously!

• Choose a pattern each day, then practice using that pattern in your
conversations that day. You will be surprised at just how quickly
you are able to integrate the patterns.

• As usual, set a goal for your communication (remember the

Coaching Intent!) Then allow your unconscious to help reflect this in
your questions.

See, once you have internalized these questions, you don’t have to
think about them anymore. Your unconscious will automatically come
up with the best question to ask. All you have to do (consciously) is
think about where you want to go next, what information you want to
gather, and what you’d like to know. Your unconscious can do the rest!

©2006 Jamie Smart 18 www.saladltd.co.uk

All Rights Reserved
 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

NLP Coaching CardsTM

We are pleased and proud to offer you the chance to own your very
own set of NLP Coaching CardsTM - exclusive to Salad. These cards
are simply the fastest way there is to learn the language patterns
of NLP Coaching.

They have been created by Jamie Smart, experienced NLP trainer

(SNLP accredited), and author of our free online NLP tips which
currently go out to nearly 13,000 people per week. Here’s what he
(and others) says about the cards…

In March 1998, my life changed forever.

At the time I was working for a consultancy, managing organisational

change programmes, and I needed to get results, fast.

• I needed to be able to influence people who I had no authority

over.

• I had to demonstrate that the things I did make a real difference

in people’s lives.

• I required tools that could help me to rapidly understand other

people’s models of the world.

• I needed to be able to diagnose problems accurately, then help

solve them quickly.

• I wanted to be able to get the kind of amazing results that I felt

good about and that other people admired.

I was always on the lookout for anything which could help me to

improve dramatically.

Then, in March 1998, I went on my first NLP (neuro-linguistic

programming) course, and I was blown away by what was possible. I
immediately decided to learn everything I could about this amazing
field, and bought every book I could get my hands on.

One of the things that was mentioned in many of the books was a
powerful set of language patterns called The Meta-model, a set of
questioning tools modeled by Richard Bandler and John Grinder from

©2006 Jamie Smart 19 www.saladltd.co.uk

All Rights Reserved
 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

two of the therapeutic geniuses of the 20th century, Fritz Perls and
Virginia Satir.

It was the first creation in the field of NLP, and formed the basis for
subsequent discoveries in the field. The Meta-model works on the
following principle: people don’t experience reality directly, but rather
through the ‘maps’ of reality they create in their minds. When people
have a problem or challenge, it does not typically exist ‘in reality’ - it
exists in their map of reality. If you can enrich their map, their
experience of the world will become richer. Enrich their map enough,
and their problems will be solved, their challenges overcome.

The Meta-model is the principle tool for discovering where and how to
enrich a person’s map.

I know that now, but it was only when I went back to the very first
NLP book ever written, The Structure of Magic, that I discovered what
The Meta-model is and started to learn how to use it.

By the time I went on my first NLP Practitioner training with six

months later, I knew all the patterns inside out, but I was in for a
surprise.

As I started learning NLP from the best trainers and coaches in the
world, I heard The Meta-Model being used in a totally different way!
Here are some of the things I heard the finest trainers and coaches
doing:

• Using bizarre queries that didn’t even seem to make sense, but that
got high-quality responses from the person they were speaking to.

• Taking some of the less useful things people said to the extremes,
to make their problems seem absurd and ridiculous.

• Using queries that were so ‘left-field’ that I would never have

thought of them in a million years!

• Taking incredibly creative perspectives on the client’s situation,

helping the person to become more resourceful in the process.

But one thing was clear to me. They were using these questions,
tools and techniques in a systematic way. It was not just
creativity or natural talent – it was a skill they had learned.

©2006 Jamie Smart 20 www.saladltd.co.uk

All Rights Reserved
 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

I said to myself “You have to learn these skills for yourself”, and
I did. I’ve spent the past seven years learning the most powerful
techniques from the best trainers. Here are just a few of the things
I’ve used these patterns (the patterns you’ll learn from these cards) to
do:

• Helped the marketing department of a company change their

limiting beliefs about marketing to students (their model of what
was possible was stuck in the 1970s, but the questions I asked
them brought them up to date).

• Changed a man’s belief about his financial future from negative to

positive by asking one simple question!

• Got a group of company directors to make a decision and move

forward (these people were addicted to having meetings and
putting things off, so getting them to take action was a big
accomplishment).

• Found out what was going on at an unconscious level for every one
of my clients over the past 7 years!

That’s right! I use these patterns in every single situation I go into

with a client or prospective client. I use them with…

• Executive coaching clients (in fact, these tools are a BIG part of
why I can charge such a healthy fee for my executive coaching
sessions).

• Teams of people when I’m engaged to help develop strategy, vision

and team alignment.

• People I’m training; these questions help me to help others make

the fastest progress.

• Personal coaching clients who want to make changes that really

work!

• Myself! These are the questions I use to help myself change the
patterns that have held me back!

©2006 Jamie Smart 21 www.saladltd.co.uk

All Rights Reserved
 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

Unfortunately, the Meta-Model has a reputation for being difficult to

learn. As a result, this incredibly powerful tool is criminally
undertaught. But that’s about to change!

I’ve taken the revolutionary step of combining the Meta-Model

questions with some of the most powerful coaching strategies that
exist today, to create NLP Coaching Cards. The cards can be used by
individuals and groups to wire in these incredibly powerful coaching
questions. Imagine being able to:

• Feel confident that you can discover the information that really
matters in any situation. People pay good money for this!

• Ask questions that amaze your clients, you colleagues, your

friends and even yourself with the quality of answers you’ll get.

• Relax, knowing that you will never be stuck for what to say or ask
again.

• Overcome barriers and obstacles that have been holding people

back.

• Feel good, knowing that you really make a difference in

people’s lives.

Here are just some of the amazing abilities that you’re going to have
at your fingertips after you’ve played with the cards just a few times!

• The questions that you need to help yourself and your clients get a
laser-like focus on your goals.

• Ways to trigger the hidden non-verbal cues that will reveal how
someone is structuring their internal reality (a person’s internal
reality is what determines what is and isn’t possible for them).

• The simple questions that massively increase the likelihood of a

person achieving their goals. If you don't know the answers to
these questions, the chances of you reaching your goal are
significantly reduced.

• Tools to reveal the hidden motivations and deep desires that

are really driving you and your clients. If you don't know these,

©2006 Jamie Smart 22 www.saladltd.co.uk

All Rights Reserved
 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

people's behaviour is often baffling, but when you discover these

drivers, suddenly even the most bizarre behaviours make sense.

• The questions that help you discover the 'hidden handbrakes'

that stop people moving forward (you won't find these in the NLP
books).

• The 'action' questions that create commitment and build

momentum.

• The 'verbal aikido' phrase you can use when someone can't find
the answer to your question - at least 50% of the time the answer
magically appears when you ask this (admittedly weird) question!

• A simple but little-known tool for breaking unhelpful

generalisations. If you've ever had the frustration of trying
unsuccessfully to challenge people's generalisations (even when you
know the NLP Meta-model), you have to learn this technique.

• The most powerful question there is to gently challenge and

change the hidden rules people learned as children.

• The tools you need for drilling down into someone's reality. Without
these, you may think you understand what they're talking about,
but you don't!

• The most powerful tools there are for helping people to move
beyond their limited ideas of themselves, and to discover how
they've been keeping success at bay!

• The belief-buster challenges you can use to start uncovering and

dismantling limiting beliefs, using nothing more than simple
questions.

• The 'magic phrases' you have to know if you want to uncover the
hidden obstacles that stop people moving forward.

• A question that can give you a near-miraculous ability to help even

the most negative clients to create a compelling future for
themselves. Finally, you'll have a solution for people who say
"I don't know what I want".

©2006 Jamie Smart 23 www.saladltd.co.uk

All Rights Reserved
 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

• The ultimate technique for helping you to figure out what's going on
in someone else's reality. If you don't know how to use this,
you are missing the most powerful way there is to trigger
your own intuitions about what someone is thinking and
believing. It's like having a secret spyglass for looking inside their
mind!

• How you can use a simple question you already know, but in a
counter-intuitive way that will get people to instantly disassociate
from negative states. I've met very few people who know how
to use this question in this way - even experienced Master
Practitioners of NLP!

• Simple statements that carry powerfully loaded presuppositions that

will instantly make your clients feel more resourceful and in
control of their lives.

• The 'softeners' that are essential to making your questions gentle

and unintrusive. If you don't know these, you may be breaking
rapport just by asking genuine questions.

• A subtle enquiry to instantly and covertly re-frame a person's

problem as a skill, and put them in charge of their brain.

• The best tool I've ever found for exploring the deeper emotions and
values that drive people’s desires and attachments. You'll be able
to discover what really makes someone tick.

• A cunningly simple question that can release the emotional energy

keeping a problem in place, and create a deep sense of peace
and freedom.

• A method to discover someone's hot buttons and motivation

words in any situation. You’ll be blown away by the powerful
effect of using their exact words to motivate them.

• A way to instantly change someone's perspective on a

situation, and get them to look at it in a more resourceful way.

• A powerful tool for discovering the negative drivers behind fears,

worries and compulsions. Like a scalpel or dynamite, this
technique is so powerful that it must be used very carefully,
and only when there is deep rapport between client and coach.

©2006 Jamie Smart 24 www.saladltd.co.uk

All Rights Reserved
 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

• An approach for helping someone to look beyond the stresses and

obligations of day-to-day existence, and start to discover a sense
of purpose in life.

• The secret key that instantly increases the likelihood of success in

any endeavour. When you and your clients are able to say yes to
this question, success is virtually guaranteed.

• A way to invite a person to experience life without 'the problem',

directing their attention to a place beyond struggle, beyond the
'how' of resolving it. This can free the imagination to go far
beyond what you previously thought possible.

• Powerful tools for uncovering the hidden aspects of a person's

limiting beliefs. You have to be able to uncover these hidden
aspects if the beliefs are to change.

• The secret of using negation to ask an astonishingly simple question

that will instantly get a person to imagine a new empowering
belief in a situation where they've been limited. The first step to
establishing a new belief is getting someone to think of it, and this
is the quickest, easiest way to do it.

• Sometimes people are sure about things which aren't actually

useful to them. You'll learn how to use a person's negative certainty
against itself, to open the process of possibility.

• A virtually unknown method for covertly checking whether a

person's unconscious mind has fully engaged with the change
process. You can even check whether or not someone's telling the
truth!

• A method for increasing the positive extremes a person can go to,

whether what they need more of is love, happiness, pleasure,
success, money… whatever you choose!

• Three different approaches for building rapport, consensus

and agreement linguistically.

• The simple phrases you can use at the beginning of a session to

massively increase the ease and effectiveness of the work
you do.

©2006 Jamie Smart 25 www.saladltd.co.uk

All Rights Reserved
 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

• A simple yet effective tool to focus and centre yourself before

the session starts so you're at your best.

Here’s what some of the world’s top coaches and NLP Trainers are
already saying about the cards:

“I’ve often joked that if I could only hire myself, my life would get
much better and fast! J Jamie Smart’s NLP Coaching Cards have
allowed me to do just that – to coach myself to success by letting the
cards ask me the same kinds of high quality questions that make
coaching such an effective way of opening up new possibilities for
yourself and your clients. This is a fun and friendly way to learn and
master the skills of coaching mastery.”

-Michael Neill, author of ‘You Can Have What You Want’

www.geniuscatalyst.com

"I've just had a deck-o at Jamie Smart's NLP Coaching Cards. What a
touch of genius. All you ever needed to know and more about the meta
model in a pack of playing cards. The greatest learning comes when
you're having fun, so not only can you play poker with these cards,
you can also uncover what's going on behind the poker faces! And if
you are planning to attend one of Jamie's courses, instead of taking
notes, you can fully have the experience safe in the knowledge that all
the information is contained in this pack of cards. Ace!"

-Peta Heskell, Author of 'Flirt Coach', NLP Trainer and creator of the
Flirting Weekend
www.attractionacademy.com

And who is this for?

I’ll start (as usual) by saying who it isn’t for – it isn’t for people who
just want the theory but don’t want to get their hands dirty. Only
purchase this product if you want to develop real skills. People
who work in the area of change or are studying it will obviously

©2006 Jamie Smart 26 www.saladltd.co.uk

All Rights Reserved
 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

benefit, including NLP Practitioners, therapists, coaches, trainers,

doctors, consultants and the like.

What do you get?

Each set of cards includes
• 52 casino-quality game cards with the patterns you will learn.
• Examples of how to use them.
• Commentary about how and why these work the way they do.

In addition to the patterns on the 52 cards, you will also

receive:

• Eight top tips for using the cards and the patterns on them,
building your unconscious ability and maximising your learning
speed.

• Full instructions for a simple game you can play with others to
'wire in' the learnings at a deep level, and make these questions an
unconscious and elegant part of your coaching repertoire (you can
also play Solitaire to practice the cards by yourself).

• 18 examples of client phrases for you to practice with, from

limiting beliefs to aspirational goals.

So the usual question is how much?

The Salad Guarantee:

We guarantee that you will be totally
delighted with this product. If you
aren’t, then just return it within 30
days for a full, no-quibble refund.

Zebu cards are now selling for £50 or more on ebay, but you can get
your own set of NLP Coaching CardsTM from Salad for only £14.95
+ postage, handling & VAT (where applicable). Follow the link to
order your own deck of NLP Coaching Cards now:

http://www.saladltd.co.uk/NLP_Coaching_Cards.htm

©2006 Jamie Smart 27 www.saladltd.co.uk

All Rights Reserved
 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

©2006 Jamie Smart 28 www.saladltd.co.uk

All Rights Reserved
 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

More Information

For more information about the principles described in this ebook, as

well as details of related products and training courses, visit
www.saladltd.co.uk.

If you would like to hear Jamie Smart doing conversational hypnosis

and demonstrating all the principles described in this ebook, you might
like to investigate the following audio products:

“Discover How You Can

Become Irresistibly
Influential (Before Your
Competition Do)”

Ethical Influence with NLP (8CD Set or MP3 Downloads)

Everyone has had the experience of buying something that you still
feel good about, every time you think of it. As you remember how
good that feels, imagine learning how you can create that
experience for everyone you influence! The benefits of a decision to
purchase these CDs include being able to:

• Earn more money

• Influence more people, ethically & effectively
• Increase average order values & close ratios
• Achieve greater consistency of performance
• Eliminate objections before they arise
• Enjoy the influence process more and more each day

Learn more and find out how you can buy your own set at:
http://www.saladltd.co.uk/ethical_influence_with_nlp_8_cd_set.htm

©2006 Jamie Smart 29 www.saladltd.co.uk

All Rights Reserved
 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

“Discover The Secrets of

How To Get More Of What
You Want In Your Life”

NLP for Business & Personal Success (6CD Set or MP3

Download)

Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) is one of the most revolutionary

approaches ever for effective communication, rapid change, &
outstanding results. This 6 CD set is a live recording of a 2-day NLP
Training with NLP Trainer & author of the online NLP Tip, Jamie Smart.
You will learn:

• The ‘attitude’ of NLP

• How to set clear goals & directions
• How to get into rapport with others, fast
• How to build powerful states for yourself
• How to change difficult relationships
• How to shut off internal dialogue
• And much, much more…

Jamie uses NLP to train NLP, so play these CDs again & again. The
attentive listener will hear more & more of the patterns of NLP
being used to install the attitudes and skills!

Learn more and find out how you can buy your own set at:
http://www.saladltd.co.uk/nlp_business_and_personal_success_cd_set
.htm

©2006 Jamie Smart 30 www.saladltd.co.uk

All Rights Reserved
 The Top 10 Secrets of NLP Coaching Language
By Jamie Smart

About the author

Jamie Smart is the Managing Director of Salad
Seminars Ltd, as well as the principal trainer. He
spent much of the nineties leading large, mission-
critical business projects and change programmes. In
the process, he found that individual change is the key
to collective change, and became fascinated with
helping people achieve the results they want. This
fascination led him to NLP, and he has spent from
1996 to the present day learning from the
finest teachers and materials, and applying what he’s learned. Jamie
is an NLP Master Practitioner and is licensed by Richard Bandler and
the Society of NLP as a Trainer of Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP).

Jamie is author of The NLP Tip, an e-zine which goes to thousands of

people around the world each week (available from
www.saladltd.co.uk), as well as the creator of Ericksonian Hypnosis
CardsTM and many other products.

He lives in Leicestershire (UK). When he isn’t helping other people get

what they want, he likes going for long walks in the woods, listening to
music and reading.

Acknowledgements
I’ve been fortunate to learn from a number of great NLP Trainers and
other innovative thinkers and teachers. Thanks to anyone whose
efforts have made their way into this work. Specific thanks to…

• Richard Bandler • Robert Dilts

• John Grinder • Sid Jacobson
• Joseph Riggio • Jonathan Altfeld
• Eric Robbie • Robert Anton Wilson
• Jo Cooper • Ian Watson
• Peter Seal • Michael Neill
• Timothy Leary • John La Valle
• Marianne Williamson • Frank Farrelly

©2006 Jamie Smart 31 www.saladltd.co.uk

All Rights Reserved