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Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting To Others

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Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting To Others

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Azri Razak

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Interpersonal Communication

and Diversity:
Adapting to
Others

Objectives

1 Describe
communication.

2 Define culture.
4
five human differences that influence

3 Identify cultural elements, values, and contexts.

4 Discuss
5 Identify
barriers that inhibit effective intercultural
communication.
strategies for developing knowledge,
motivation, and skills that can improve intercultural
competence.

Outline
• Understanding Diversity: Describing Our Differences
• Understanding Culture: Dimensions of Our Mental
Software
• Barriers to Effective Intercultural Communication
• Improving Intercultural Communication Competence
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Strangers, people different H

is Indonesian-American half sister was there along with
her Chinese-Canadian husband. Another family mem-
ber, the rabbi, was there, too. If all family members from his
from us, stir up fear, past could have attended, you would have heard English,
Indonesian, French, Cantonese, German, Hebrew, Swahili,
discomfort, suspicion, Luo, Igbo, and Gullah, a Creole dialect of South Carolina’s
Low Country.1 His Black father from Kenya, who was a Mus-
and hostility. They make us lim, and his White Methodist mother from Kansas, both of
whom had passed away, would no doubt have been proud to
lose our sense of security attend. The event? The inauguration of the 44th President of
the United States, Barack Obama.
just by being ‘other’. Diversity of culture, language, religion, and a host of
other factors is increasingly commonplace in contempo-
Henri J. M. Nouwen rary society. This diversity creates the potential for misun-
derstanding and even conflict stemming from the
different ways we make sense out of the world and share
that sense with others. In their book Communicating with Strangers, intercultural
communication researchers William Gudykunst and Young Yun Kim point out
that strangers are “people who are different and unknown.”2 Although as human
beings we share many things in common, our interpersonal interactions with oth-
ers make it obvious that many people look different from us and communicate in
ways that are different from ours.
In the first three chapters, we acknowledged the influence of diversity on in-
terpersonal relationships. In this chapter, we examine in more detail the impact
that people’s differences have on their lives and suggest some communication
strategies for bridging those differences in our interpersonal relationships. Our
premise for this discussion of diversity is that in order to live comfortably in the
twenty-first century, people must learn to appreciate and understand our differ-
ences instead of ignoring them, suffering because of them, or wishing that they
would disappear.
Some people may be weary of what they perceive as an overemphasis on diversity.
One student overheard a classmate say, “I’ve had it with all this diversity stuff. It seems
like every textbook in every class is obsessed with it. I’m tired of all this politically cor-
rect nonsense. I mean, we’re all Americans. We’re not all going off to live in China.
Why don’t they just teach us what we need to know and cut all of this diversity
garbage?” Perhaps you’ve encountered this kind of “diversity backlash” among some
BEING Other-ORIENTED of your classmates (or maybe you hold this attitude yourself). It may seem unsettling
to some that textbooks are emphasizing cultural diversity. But this emphasis is not
Communicating with people
who are different from you is motivated by an irrational desire to be politically correct, but by the fact that the
something you likely do every United States and other countries are becoming increasingly diverse.3 With this diver-
day. Even people who are our sity comes a growing awareness that learning about differences, especially cultural dif-
close friends and family ferences, can affect every aspect of people’s lives in positive ways. You need not travel
members differ from us in many
the world to interact with people who may seem strange to you; the world is traveling
ways. Reflect on one or two
interpersonal relationships you to you.
have and note the similarities A central goal of your study of interpersonal communication is to learn how bet-
and differences between you ter to relate to others. Some of the differences that contribute to diversity and may
and the other person. How interfere with developing relationships include differences in age, learning style, gen-
have the differences (such as in
der, religion, race and ethnicity, sexual orientation, social class, and culture. We will
age, ethnicity, gender, religion,
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or culture) affected the way you emphasize the role of cultural differences and how those differences affect our inter-
interact with this person? personal communication while also noting a variety of ways in which we may seem
strange to one another.

UNDERSTANDING OTHERS
Adapting to Differences A Diversity Almanac

1. Two-thirds of the immigrants on this adults in this country will come from 8. There are more “Millennials” (people
planet come to the United States.4 minority groups.7 born between 1982 and 2002) in the
2. In the United States, there are “minority 5. If the current trend continues, by the U.S. population than any other age
majorities” (where minorities outnum- year 2050 the percentage of the group. In 2004 the U.S. population in-
ber traditional European Americans) in U.S. population that is White will de- cluded 100 million Millennials,
Miami; Laredo, Texas; Gary, Indiana; crease to 53 percent, down from a 44 million Generation Xers (born
Detroit; Washington, DC; Oakland, current 79 percent. Asians will in- 1961–1981), and 78 million Baby
California; Atlanta; San Antonio; Los crease to 16 percent, up from 1.6 Boomers (born 1943–1960).11
Angeles; Chicago; Baltimore; Houston; percent; Hispanics will more than 9. One out of every eight U.S. residents
New York; Memphis; San Francisco; triple their numbers to over 25 per- speaks a language other than English
Fresno, California; and San Jose, cent, up from just over 7.5 percent; at home, and one-third of children in
California.5 and African Americans will increase urban U.S. public schools speak a
3. It is estimated that more than forty their proportion slightly from the first language other than English.12
million U.S. residents have a non- current 12 percent.8 10. During the past decade, the com-
English first language, including eigh- 6. More than 30 percent of graduate as- bined population of African Ameri-
teen million people whose first sistants teaching in universities in the cans, Native Americans, Asians,
language is Spanish.6 United States are foreign born.9 Pacific Islanders, and Hispanics grew
4. Almost one-third of U.S. residents un- thirteen times faster than the non-
7. Studies of gay and lesbian popula-
der age thirty-five are members of mi- Hispanic White population.13
tions in the United States estimate
nority groups, compared with that gay men make up from 1 to 9 11. Non-Hispanic Whites constitute a
one-fifth of those age thirty-five or percent of the general male popula- minority of the population in Texas,
older. According to U.S. Bureau of tion and lesbians make up from 1 New Mexico, and California.14
the Census population projections, by to 5 percent of the general female 12. Sixty percent of the residents of
the year 2025 nearly half of all young population.10 Miami are foreign-born.15

Understanding Diversity: Describing Our

Differences
How are we different? Let us count the ways. No, let’s not—that would take up too
much space! There are an infinite number of ways in which we are different from
one another. Unless you have an identical twin, you look different from everybody
else, although you may have some things in common with a larger group of people
(such as skin color, hair style, or clothing choice). Communication researchers
have, however, studied several major differences that affect the way we interact
with one another. To frame our discussion of diversity and communication, we’ll
note differences in gender, sexual orientation, race and ethnicity, age, and social
class. Each of these differences—some learned, some based on biology, economic
status, or simply on how long someone has lived—has an effect on how we perceive
others and interact with them. Following our discussion of some classic ways in
which we are diverse, we’ll turn our attention to cultural differences and then note
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the barriers that cultural differences can create. We’ll conclude the chapter by
identifying strategies to enhance the quality of interpersonal communication with
others, despite our differences.

Sex and Gender

Perhaps the most obvious form of human diversity is the existence of female and male
human beings.16 A person’s sex is determined by biology; only men can impregnate;
only women can menstruate, gestate, and lactate. In contrast to sex differences, gender
differences reflect learned behavior that is culturally associated with being a man or a
woman. Gender role definitions are flexible: A man can adopt behavior associated with
a female role in a given culture, and vice versa. Gender refers to psychological and
emotional characteristics that cause people to assume masculine, feminine, or androg-
ynous (having a combination of both feminine and masculine traits) roles. Your gen-
der is learned and socially reinforced by others, as well as by your life experiences and
genetics. Some researchers prefer to study gender as a co-culture (a subset of the larger
cultural group). We view gender as one of many basic elements of culture.
In the predominant culture of the United States, someone’s gender is an impor-
tant thing to know. Yet how different are men and women? John Gray, author of the
popular book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, would have us believe that
the sexes are so different from each other that we approach life as if we lived on two
different planets.17 Communication researchers have challenged many of Gray’s
stereotypical conclusions.18 Although researchers have noted some differences in the
way men and women interact, to label all men and all women as acting in prototypical
ways may cause us to assume differences that aren’t really there. Researchers who study
gender and communication have found that gender differences are complex and not
easily classified into tidy categories of “masculine” and “feminine” behaviors.19
Deborah Tannen, author of several books on communication between the sexes,
views men and women as belonging to different cultural groups.20 She suggests that
female–male communication is cross-cultural communication, with all of the chal-
lenges of communicating with people who are different from us.
Research conclusions can result in uncertainty about sex and gender differences.
Are there really fundamental differences in the way men and women communicate?
Yes, some differences have been documented by researchers. But the differences may
have more to do with why we communicate than how. There is evidence that men
tend to talk in order to accomplish something or to complete a task. Women are often
more likely to use conversation to establish and maintain relationships. There is a
short way of summarizing this difference: Men often communicate to report; women of-
ten communicate to establish rapport.21 Research suggests that many men tend to ap-
proach communication from a content orientation, meaning that they view the
purpose of communication as primarily information exchange. You talk when you
have something to say. Women, research suggests, tend to use communication for the
purpose of relating or connecting to others. So the point of difference isn’t in the way
the sexes actually communicate but in their motivations or reasons for communicat-
ing. Note, however, that although gender differences account for considerable varia-
tion in how men and women view the world and the assumptions they hold about the
nature of relationships, research suggests that cultural background is an even more
sex Biologically based differences powerful influence on some key assumptions about relationships.22
that determine whether one is male
or female.
gender Socially learned and Sexual Orientation
reinforced characteristics that
During the past two decades, gays and lesbians have become more assertive in ex-
include one’s biological sex and
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psychological characteristics pressing their rights within American society. Questions of whether gays and
(femininity, masculinity, lesbians should participate in the military, the clergy, and the teaching profession
androgyny). have stirred the passions of many. Being gay or lesbian has become a source of pride

for some, but it is still a social stigma for others. The incidence of suicide among gay
and lesbian teenagers is significantly higher than among heterosexual teens.23 Al-
though gay people are gaining legal rights and protections, they are still subject to
discriminatory laws and social intolerance. Yet the gay and lesbian communities are
important co-cultures within the larger U.S. culture.
There is evidence that gay and lesbian individuals continue to be judged nega-
tively based solely on their sexual orientation.24 Research further suggests that hetero-
sexuals who have negative perceptions of gays and lesbians are more likely to have
rigid views about gender roles and to assume that their peers also hold such rigid
views and negative impressions of gays and lesbians.25 In addition, those who hold
negative attitudes toward gays and lesbians are less likely to have interpersonal com-
munication with gays or lesbians.26 It is because of the existence of these negative atti-
tudes as well as anti-gay violence and harassment, that some gays and lesbians
continue to conceal their sexual orientation.
An effective and appropriate interpersonal communicator is aware of and sensi-
tive to issues and attitudes about sexual orientation in contemporary society. Homo-
phobia, the irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality
and gays or lesbians, continues to exist among many people. Just as you have been
taught to avoid biased expressions that degrade someone’s race or ethnicity, it is
equally important to avoid using language that demeans a person’s sexual orientation.
Telling stories and jokes whose points or punch lines rely on cruelly ridiculing a per-
son because of his or her sexual orientation lowers perceptions of your credibility not
only among gay and lesbian people, but also among people who dislike any show of
bias against gays and lesbians.
Although we may not intend anything negative, sometimes we unintentionally
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offend someone through more subtle use and misuse of language.27 For example, usu-
ally gays and lesbians typically prefer to be referred to as “gay” or “lesbian” rather than
“homosexual.” In addition, the term sexual orientation is preferred over sexual preference

Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
90 Part One Interpersonal Communication Foundations
Productions. Dist. by Universal Press Syndicate. Reprinted
FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE © 2006 by Lynn Johnston

with permission. All rights reserved.

when describing a person’s sexual orientation. Our language should reflect and ac-
knowledge the range of human relationships that exist. Our key point is this: Be sensi-
tively other-oriented as you interact with those whose sexual orientation is different
from your own.

Race and Ethnicity

Racial and ethnic differences are often discussed and sometimes debated. According
to Random House Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary, race is based on the genetically
transmitted physical characteristics of a group of people who are also classified to-
gether because of a common history, nationality, or geographical location.28 A person’s
racial classification is typically based on visible physiological attributes— phenotypes—
which include skin color, body type, hair color and texture, and facial attributes. Skin
color and other physical characteristics affect our responses and influence the way
people of different races interact.
Although it may seem neat and tidy to classify individuals genetically as be-
longing to one race or another, it’s not quite that simple. One geneticist has con-
cluded that there is much more genetic variation within a given racial category than
between one race and another.29 There really aren’t vast genetic differences among
people who have been assigned to racial categories. That’s why many scholars sug-
gest that we think of race as a category that not only emphasizes biological or ge-
netic characteristics, but also includes cultural, economic, social, geographic, and
historical elements.30 The term race, therefore, is a fuzzy, somewhat controversial
way of classifying people.
Ethnicity is a related term, yet scholars suggest it is different from race.
Ethnicity is a social classification based on a variety of factors, such as nationality,
religion, language, and ancestral heritage (race), that are shared by a group of peo-
ple who also share a common geographic origin. Simply stated, an ethnic group is a
race Genetically transmitted group of people who have labeled themselves an ethnic group based on a variety of
physical characteristics of a
factors that may or may not include race. In making distinctions between race and
group of people.
ethnicity, Brenda Allen suggests that ethnicity refers to “a common origin or cul-
ethnicity Social classification ture based on shared activities and identity related to some mixture of race, reli-
based on nationality, religion,
gion, language and/or ancestry.”31 Although ethnicity may include race, race is a
language, and ancestral heritage,
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shared by a group of people who separate category that is based on genetic or biological factors. But research has
also share a common geographical found those genetic or biological distinctions are not clear-cut. A key distinction
origin. between race and ethnicity is that one’s ethnicity is a socially constructed category

that emphasizes culture and a host of other factors other than one’s racial or
genetic background. Not all Asians (race), for example, have the same cultural
background (ethnicity).32 Nationality and geographical location are especially im-
portant in defining an ethnic group. Those of Irish ancestry are usually referred to
as an ethnic group rather than as a race. The same could be said of Britons, Norwe-
gians, and Spaniards.
Ethnicity, like race, fosters common bonds that affect communication patterns.
On the positive side, ethnic groups bring vitality and variety to American society. On
the negative side, members of these groups may experience persecution or rejection
by members of other groups in society.
One of the most significant problems that stem from attempts to classify people
by racial or ethnic type is the tendency to discriminate and unfairly, inaccurately, or
inappropriately ascribe stereotypes to racial or ethnic groups. Discrimination is the
unfair or inappropriate treatment of other people based on their group membership.33
One of the goals of learning about diversity and becoming aware of both differences
and similarities among groups is to eliminate discrimination and stereotypes that
cause people to rigidly and inappropriately pre-judge others.

Age
Different generations, because they have experienced different cultural and historical
events, tend to view life differently. If your grandparents or great-grandparents experi-
enced the Great Depression of the 1930s, they may have different attitudes about savings
accounts than you or even your parents do. Today’s explicit song lyrics may shock older
Americans who grew up with such racy lyrics as “makin’ whoopee.” The generation gap
is real and has implications for the relationships we develop with others.
Generational differences have an effect not just on communication with your
parents or other family members, but on a variety of relationships, including those
with teachers, merchants, bosses, and mentors. There is considerable evidence that
people hold stereotypical views of others based on others’ perceived age.34 In addi-
tion, a person’s age has an influence on his or her communication with others. For
example, one study found that older adults have greater difficulty in accurately inter-
preting the nonverbal messages of others than younger people do.35 Older adults also
don’t like to be patronized or talked down to (who does?).36 And younger people
seem to value social support, empathic listening, and being mentored more than
older people do.37
Authors Neil Howe and William Strauss, two researchers who have investi-
gated the role of age and generation in society, define a generation as “a society-
wide peer group, born over a period roughly the same length as the passage from
youth to adulthood, who collectively possess a common persona.”38 Baby Boomers
is the label for one such generation, people born between 1943 and 1960. Perhaps
your parents or grandparents are Boomers. Generation X is the term used for peo-
ple born between 1961 and 1981. If you were born between 1982 and 2002, you
and your generation have been labeled Millennials.39 Researchers Howe and
Strauss suggest that, as a group, “Millennials are unlike any other youth generation
in living memory. They are more numerous, more affluent, better educated, and
more ethnically diverse. More importantly, they are beginning to manifest a wide
array of positive social habits that older Americans no longer associate with youth,
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including a focus on teamwork, achievement, modesty, and good conduct.”40 discrimination Unfair or
Table 4.1 summarizes labels for and common characteristics and values of several inappropriate treatment of people
generational groups. based on their group membership.

Table 4.1 Summary of Generational Characteristics

Generation Name Birth Years Typical Characteristics

Matures 1925–1942 • Work hard
• Have a sense of duty
• Are willing to sacrifice
• Have a sense of what is right
• Work quickly

Baby Boomers 1943–1960 • Value personal fulfillment and optimism

• Crusade for causes
• Buy now, pay later
• Support equal rights for all
• Work efficiently

Generation X 1961–1981 • Live with uncertainty

• Consider balance important
• Live for today
• Save
• Consider every job as a contract

Millennials 1982–2002 • Are close to their parents

• Feel “special”
• Are goal-oriented
• Are team-oriented
• Focus on achievement
Source: Information summarized from N. Howe and W. Strauss, Millennials Rising: The Next Great Generation (New York:
Vintage Books, 2000).

Your generation has important implications for interpersonal communication,

especially as you relate to others in both family and work situations. Each generation
has developed its own set of values, which are anchored in social, economic, and cul-
tural factors stemming from the times in which the generation has lived. Our values,
core conceptualizations of what is fundamentally good or bad, right or wrong, color
our way of thinking about and responding to what we experience.
Generational and age differences may create barriers and increase the potential for
conflict and misunderstanding.41 For example, one team of researchers who investigated
the role of generations in the workforce suggests that Generation X workers are para-
doxically both more individualistic (self-reliant) and more team-oriented than Boomers
are.42 In contrast, Boomers are more likely to have a sense of loyalty to their employers,
expect long-term employment, value a pension plan, and experience job burnout from
overwork. Generation Xers, on the other hand, seek more of a balance between work
and personal life, expect to have more than one job or career, value good working con-
ditions over other job factors, and have a greater need to feel appreciated.43 Of course,
these are broad generalizations and do not apply to all people in these categories.

Social Class
The Constitution of the United States declares that all people are created equal, but
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there is dramatic evidence that class differences exist and affect communication pat-
terns. Social psychologist Michael Argyle reports that the cues we use to identify class
distinctions are (1) way of life, (2) family, (3) job, (4) money, and (5) education.44

Brenda Allen suggests, “Social class encompasses a socially constructed category of

identity that involves more than just economic factors; it includes an entire socializa-
tion process.”45 Such a socialization process influences the nature and quality of the
interpersonal relationships we have with others. Although sociologists are the primary
academic group of scholars who study social class, psychologists, business profession-
als, marketing specialists, and communication scholars also are interested in how a
person’s social class has an effect on his or her thoughts and behavior. Class differ-
ences influence whom we talk with, whether we are likely to invite our neighbors over
for coffee, and whom we choose as our friends and lovers. And research suggests that
social class is used by advertisers to target sales pitches to specific types of people.46
Some principles that describe how social classes emerge from society include the
following:47
1. Virtually every organization or group develops a hierarchy that makes status
distinctions.
2. We are more likely to interact with people from our own social class. There
seems to be some truth to the maxim “Birds of a feather flock together.”
3. People who interact with one another over time tend to communicate in similar
ways; they develop similar speech patterns and use similar expressions.
4. Members of a social class develop ways of communicating class differences to
others by the way they dress, cars they drive, homes they live in, schools they at-
tend, and other visible symbols of social class.
5. It is possible to change one’s social class through education, employment, and
income.
Differences in social class and the attendant differences in education and lifestyle
affect whom we talk with and even what we talk about.48 These differences influence
our overall cultural standpoint, from which we perceive the world.

Understanding Culture: Dimensions

of Our Mental Software
We have noted a few of the fundamental ways people differ. Differences in gender,
sexual orientation, race and ethnicity, age, and social class contribute to an overall
cultural perspective that influences on a fundamental level how we relate to others. As
we discussed in Chapter 3, culture is a learned system of knowledge, behaviors, atti-
tudes, beliefs, values, and norms that is shared by a group of people. In the broadest
sense, culture includes how people think, what they do, and how they use things to
sustain their lives. Researcher Geert Hofstede describes culture as the “mental soft-
ware” that touches every aspect of how we make sense out of the world and share that culture Learned system of
sense with others.49 Just like software in a computer, our culture influences how we knowledge, behavior, attitudes,
process information. To interact with other people is to be touched by the influence of beliefs, values, and norms that is
shared by a group of people.
culture and cultural differences.
Your culture and your life experiences determine your worldview—the general worldview Individual perceptions
cultural perspective on such key issues as death, God, and the meaning of life that shapes or perceptions by a culture or group
of people about key beliefs and
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how you perceive and respond to what happens to you. Your cultural worldview shapes issues, such as death, God, and the
your thoughts, language, and actions; it permeates all aspects of how you interact with meaning of life, which influence
society. You cannot avoid having a worldview. Our personal worldview is so pervasive interaction with others.

that we may not even be aware of it. Just as a fish may not be aware of the water in its
fish bowl, you may not be aware of how your worldview influences every aspect of your
life—how you see and what you think. Your worldview is one of the primary ways you
make sense out of the world—it’s how you interpret what happens to you.
Sometimes when we speak of culture, we may be referring to a co-culture. A
co-culture is a distinct culture within a larger culture. The differences of gender, sex-
ual orientation, race and ethnicity, age, and social class that we discussed earlier are
co-cultures within the predominant culture. For example, about 80 percent of the
population of the United States is classified as White, European, American, or Cau-
casian. Members of minority groups such as African Americans, Latinos, and Asians
develop a co-culture, or what is sometimes called a microculture. The Amish, Men-
nonite, Mormon, Islamic, and Jewish religious groups are additional examples of im-
portant religious co-cultures. Often, because they are in the minority, members of a
co-culture not only feel marginalized, they are marginalized in employment, educa-
tion, housing, and other aspects of society. To enhance their power and self-identity,
members of co-cultures may develop their own rules and norms. For example, teens
develop their own slang, wear certain kinds of clothing, value certain kinds of music,
co-culture A microculture; a
distinct culture within a larger and engage in other behaviors that make it easier for them to be identified apart from
culture (such as the gay and lesbian the larger culture.
co-culture). Researchers and scholars who study culture have identified various dimensions
enculturation The process of or elements, of culture. These dimensions provide a framework to describe how our
transmitting a group’s culture from culture influences us. These dimensions are not rooted in biology but are learned,
one generation to the next. passed on from parents to children. Enculturation is the process of transmitting a
group’s culture from one generation to the next. You are not born with a certain
taste in music, food, or automobiles. You learn to behave in accordance with the
Individualism is a strong cultural elements that characterize your culture and to appreciate the dimensions of your
dimension in the United States.
culture, just as you learn anything: through observing role models and receiving
Individual achievements are
rewarded, often quite publicly. positive reinforcement.
The six dimensions of culture that we discuss here have been identified by
researchers who have found them in all cultures that they have studied. Think
of these dimensions as general ways of describing how culture is expressed in
the behavior of groups of people. The six dimensions are (1) individualism
(an emphasis on the individual) versus collectivism (an emphasis on the
group); (2) an emphasis on the surrounding context, including nonverbal be-
haviors, versus little emphasis on context; (3) masculine values that empha-
size accomplishment versus feminine values that emphasize nurturing; (4)
degree of tolerance for uncertainty; (5) approaches to power; and (6) short- or
long-term approaches to time.

Individualism: One and Many

One of the most prominent dimensions of a culture is the dimension of individ-
ualism versus collectivism. Individualistic cultures, such as those in North Amer-
ica, value individual achievement and personal accomplishment. Collectivistic
cultures, including many Asian cultures, value group and team achievement.
One researcher summed up the American goal system this way:
Chief among the virtues claimed . . . is self-realization. Each person is viewed
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as having a unique set of talents and potentials. The translation of these po-
tentials into actuality is considered the highest purpose to which one can de-
vote one’s life.50

Conversely, in a collectivistic culture, people strive to attain goals for all members
of the family, group, or community. In Kenyan tribes, for example,
[N]obody is an isolated individual. Rather, his [or her] uniqueness is a secondary
fact. . . . In this new system group activities are dominant, responsibility is
shared, and accountability is collective. . . . Because of the emphasis on collectiv-
ity, harmony and cooperation among the group tends to be emphasized more
than individual function and responsibility.51
Individualistic cultures tend to be more loosely knit socially; individuals feel re-
sponsible for taking care of themselves and their immediate families.52 In collectivistic
cultures, individuals expect more support from others; they also experience more loy-
alty to and from the community. Because collectivistic cultures place more value on
“we” than “I,” teamwork approaches usually succeed better in their workplaces. U.S.
businesses have tried to adopt some of Japan’s successful team strategies for achieving
high productivity.

Context: High and Low

Individuals from different cultures use cues from the cultural context to varying
degrees to enhance messages and meaning. This insight led anthropologist Edward
T. Hall to categorize cultures as either high- or low-context.53 In high-context
cultures, nonverbal cues are extremely important in interpreting messages. Low-
context cultures rely more explicitly on language and use fewer contextual cues to
send and interpret information. Individuals from high-context cultures may per-
ceive people from low-context cultures as less attractive, knowledgeable, and trust-
worthy, because they violate unspoken rules of dress, conduct, and communication.
Individuals from low-context cultures often are not skilled in interpreting unspo-
ken, contextual messages.54

cultural context Aspects of the

Gender: Masculine and Feminine environment and/or nonverbal cues
that convey information that is not
Some cultures emphasize traditional male values, whereas others place greater value explicitly communicated through
on female perspectives. These values are not really about biological sex differences but language.
about overarching approaches to interacting with others.
high-context culture Culture
People from masculine cultures tend to value more traditional roles for both in which people derive much
men and women. Masculine cultures also value achievement, assertiveness, heroism, information from nonverbal
and material wealth. Research reveals that men tend to approach communication and environmental cues.
from a content orientation, meaning that they view communication as functioning low-context culture Culture
primarily for information exchange. Men talk when they have something to say. This in which people derive much
is also consistent with the tendency of men to base their relationships, especially their information from the words of a
male friendships, on sharing activities rather than talking. message and less information from
nonverbal and environmental cues.
Men and women from feminine cultures tend to value such things as caring for
the less fortunate, being sensitive toward others, and enhancing the overall quality of masculine culture Culture
life.55 Women, as research suggests, tend to approach communication for the purpose in which people tend to value
traditional roles for men
of relating or connecting to others, of extending themselves to other people in order
and women, achievement,
to know them and be known by them.56 What women talk about is less important assertiveness, heroism, and
than the fact that they’re talking, because talking implies relationship. material wealth.
Of course, rarely is a culture on the extreme end of the continuum; many are
feminine culture Culture in
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somewhere in between. For centuries, most countries in Europe, Asia, and the Ameri- which people tend to value caring,
cas have had masculine cultures. Men and their conquests dominate history books; sensitivity, and attention to quality
men have been more prominent in leadership and decision making than women. But of life.

today many of these cultures are moving slowly toward the middle—
legal and social rules are encouraging more gender balance and
greater equality between masculine and feminine roles.

Uncertainty: High and Low Tolerance

Some cultures tolerate more ambiguity and uncertainty than oth-
ers. Cultures in which people need certainty to feel secure are more
likely to create and enforce rigid rules for behavior and to develop
more elaborate codes of conduct. People from cultures with a
greater tolerance for uncertainty have more relaxed, informal ex-
pectations for others. “Go with the flow” and “It will sort itself
out” are phrases that describe their attitudes. Research suggests
that people from Portugal, Greece, Peru, Belgium, and Japan have
high certainty needs, but people from Scandinavian countries tend
to tolerate uncertainty.57

Power: Centralized and Decentralized

Some cultures value an equal, or decentralized, distribution of
power, whereas others accept a concentration of hierarchical
power in a centralized government and other organizations. In
cultures in which people prefer a more centralized approach to
power, hierarchical bureaucracies are common, and people expect
Many cultures have traditionally some individuals to have more power than others. Russia, France, and China are all
put a high value on masculine high on the concentrated power scale. Those that often strive for greater equality
domination of women, but today and distribution of power and control include many (but not all) citizens of Aus-
there is a gradual trend toward tralia, Denmark, New Zealand, and Israel. People from these latter countries tend
greater equality between male
and female roles.
to minimize differences in power between people.

Time: Short-Term and Long-Term

A culture’s orientation to time falls on a continuum between long-term and short-
term.58 People from a culture with a long-term orientation to time place an emphasis
on the future and tend to value perseverance and thrift, because these are virtues that
pay off over a long period of time. A long-term time orientation also implies a greater
willingness to subordinate oneself for a larger purpose, such as the good of society or
the group. In contrast, a culture that tends to have a short-term time orientation val-
ues spending rather than saving (because of a focus on the immediate rather than the
future), tradition (because of the value placed on the present and the past), and pre-
serving “face” of both self and others (making sure that an individual is respected and
that his or her dignity is upheld) and has an expectation that results will soon follow
the actions and effort expended on a task. Short-term cultures also place a high value
on social and status obligations.
Cultures or societies with a long-term time orientation include many Asian cul-
tures such as China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, and Japan. Short-term time orientation cul-
tures include Pakistan, the Czech Republic, Nigeria, Spain, and the Philippines. Both
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Canada and the United States are closer to the short-term time orientation than the
long-term time orientation, which suggests an emphasis on valuing quick results from
projects and greater pressure toward spending rather than saving, as well as a respect
for traditions.59

RECAP Understanding Culture: Dimensions of Our Mental Software

Countries That Score Higher on This Countries That Score Lower on This
Cultural Dimension Cultural Dimension Cultural Dimension

Individualism: Societies that place greater United States, Australia, Great Britain, Canada, Guatemala, Ecuador, Panama, Venezuela,
emphasis on individualism generally value Netherlands, New Zealand, Italy, Belgium, Colombia, Indonesia, Pakistan, Costa Rica, Peru,
individual accomplishment more than do Denmark, Sweden, France Taiwan, South Korea
societies that value collective or collaborative
achievement.

Context: High-context societies prefer to draw Japan, China, Saudi Arabia, Italy, Greece Switzerland, Germany, Sweden, Denmark,
information from the surrounding context, Finland, United States, Australia
including nonverbal messages. Low-context
societies tend to prefer information to be
presented explicitly, usually in words.
Gender: Societies with greater emphasis on Japan, Australia, Venezuela, Italy, Switzerland, Sweden, Norway, Netherlands, Denmark, Costa
masculinity value achievement, assertiveness, Mexico, Ireland, Jamaica, Great Britain Rica, Finland, Chile, Portugal, Thailand
heroism, material wealth, and more clearly
differentiated sex roles. People from more
feminine cultures tend to value caring,
sensitivity, and attention to quality of life.

Uncertainty: People in societies with less Greece, Portugal, Guatemala, Uruguay, Belgium, Singapore, Jamaica, Denmark, Sweden, Hong
tolerance for uncertainty generally like to know Japan, Peru, France, Argentina, Chile Kong, Ireland, Great Britain, Malaysia, India,
what will happen next. People in other societies Philippines, United States, Canada
are more comfortable with uncertainty.
Power: Societies with a more centralized power Malaysia, Guatemala, Panama, Philippines, Austria, Israel, Denmark, New Zealand, Ireland,
distribution generally value greater power Mexico, Venezuela, Arab countries, Ecuador, Sweden, Norway, Finland, Switzerland, Great
differences between people; people in such Indonesia, India Britain
societies are generally more accepting of fewer
people having authority and power than are people
from societies in which power is more decentralized.
Time: People in societies with a long-term China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Japan, Vietnam, Pakistan, the Czech Republic, Nigeria, Spain,
orientation to time tend to value perseverance South Korea, Brazil, India, Thailand, Hungary, Philippines, Canada, Zimbabwe, Great Britain,
and thrift. People in societies with a short-term Singapore, Denmark, Netherlands United States, Portugal, New Zealand
orientation to time value both the past and the
present, tradition, saving “face,” and spending
rather than saving.

Barriers to Effective Intercultural

Communication
Intercultural communication occurs when individuals or groups from different cul-
tures communicate. The transactional process of listening and responding to people
from different cultural backgrounds can be challenging. The greater the difference in
culture between two people, the greater the potential for misunderstanding and mis-
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trust. Research suggests that culture has a direct effect on how we communicate with
intercultural communication
one another.60 When we communicate with people who have different cultural back- Communication between or among
grounds than our own, we tend to share less information with them than we do with people who have different cultural
people who share our cultural heritage.61 traditions.

Relating to Others
Making Intercultural E-Connections
in the 21st Century
You don’t have to travel the globe to com- when we’re interacting face to face. It can • Use “small talk” and comments about
municate with people who live on the other be even more challenging communicating the weather, what your typical day is
side of the world. It’s increasingly likely that electronically with others who have different like, and other low-level disclosures to
you will interact electronically with others cultural perspectives than you do. build a relationship. Then look for recip-
who have cultural or ethnic perspectives dif- Here are some tips and strategies for rocal responses from your communica-
ferent from yours. Research suggests that enriching electronic intercultural connection partner that indicate a relationship
you or one or more of your work colleagues tions with others. is naturally evolving.
will work in an international location: Ac- • Summarize and paraphrase messages
• If you are communicating with some-
cording to a Business Week survey, most that you receive more often than you
one who is from a high-context culture
workers thought that by 2017 they would might normally, in order to increase
(such as someone from Japan or
have a colleague with whom they would the accuracy of message content.
another Asian country) in which non-
work closely but who lived in another coun-
verbal messages are especially impor- • Remember the difference between
try.62 Social networking sites like Facebook
tant and you are using a leaner your time zone and the other person’s
or MySpace, as well as other Internet-based
communication medium such as text- time zone.
or phone-based connections, make it easy
ing, consider providing more explicit
to interact with international friends and col- • If you find a relationship is awkward or
references to your feelings and emo-
leagues. As more companies are outsourc- you notice an increase in conflict, use
tions by using emoticons or more ex-
ing customer service to international the richest medium you can—use the
plicitly stating your feelings and
venues, it’s also increasingly likely that you phone instead of texting or sending
emotional reactions to messages.
may be speaking to someone in another e-mail, or use a web cam instead of
country when making a call about a problem • Consider asking more questions than the phone. If you’re merely sharing
with your computer or your TV or some you normally would if you were inter- routine, noncontroversial information,
other customer-service need. It’s challeng- acting face to face to clarify meanings a lean medium (such as texting)
ing enough bridging cultural differences and the interpretation of messages. should be fine.

Misunderstanding and miscommunication occur between people from different

cultures because of different coding rules and cultural norms, which play a major role in
shaping patterns of interaction. The greater the difference between the cultures, the more
likely it is that they will use different verbal and nonverbal codes. When you encounter a
culture that has little in common with your own, you may experience culture shock, or a
sense of confusion, anxiety, stress, and loss. If you are visiting or actually living in the new
culture, your uncertainty and stress may take time to subside as you learn the values and
codes that characterize the new culture. But if you are simply trying to communicate with
someone from a background very different from your own—even on your home turf—
you may find the suggestions in this section helpful in closing the communication gap.63
The first step to bridging differences between cultures is to find out what hampers
effective communication. What keeps people from connecting with those from other
cultures? Sometimes it is different meanings created by different languages or by dif-
ferent interpretations of nonverbal messages. Sometimes it is the inability to stop fo-
cusing on oneself and begin focusing on the other. We’ll examine some of these
barriers first, then discuss strategies and skills for overcoming them.

Ethnocentrism
All good people agree,
And all good people say,
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All nice people like Us, are We,

culture shock Feelings of stress And everyone else is They.
and anxiety a person experiences
when encountering a culture In a few short lines, Rudyard Kipling captured the essence of what sociologists and an-
different from his or her own. thropologists call ethnocentric thinking. Members of all societies tend to believe that “All

Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
nice people like Us, are We. . . .” They find comfort in the familiar
and often denigrate or distrust others. Of course, with training or
experience in other climes, they may learn to transcend their
provincialism, placing themselves in others’ shoes. Or, as Kipling
put it,
. . . if you cross over the sea,
Instead of over the way,
You may end by (think of it!)
Looking on We
As only a sort of They.
In a real sense, a main lesson of intercultural communica-
tion is to begin to “cross over the sea,” to learn to understand
why other people think and act as they do and to be able to
empathize with their perspectives.64
Marilyn had always been intrigued by Russia. Her dream
was to travel the country by train, spending time in small vil-
lages as well as exploring the cultural riches of Moscow, Pyati-
gorsk, and St. Petersburg. Her first day in Russia was a
disappointment, however. When she arrived in Moscow, she
joined a tour touting the cultural traditions of Russia. When the
tour bus stopped at Sparrow Hills, affording the visitors a Colorful celebrations like this local festival in Bali can
breathtaking hilltop view of the Moscow skyline, she was per- reinforce healthy ethnic pride. But if ethnic pride is taken
to extremes, the resulting ethnocentrism may act as a
plexed and mildly shocked to see a woman dressed in an elegant barrier between groups.
wedding gown mounted on horseback and galloping through
the parking lot. Men in suits were cheering her on as a crowd of tipsy revelers set off
fireworks and danced wildly to a brass band. “What kind of people are these?” sniffed
Marilyn.
“Oh,” said the tour guide, “it is our custom to come here to celebrate immedi-
ately following the wedding ceremony.”
“But in public, with such raucousness?” queried Marilyn.
“It is our tradition,” said the guide.
“What a backward culture. They’re nothing but a bunch of peasants!” pro-
nounced Marilyn, who was used to more refined nuptial celebrations at a country
club or an exclusive hotel. ethnocentrism Belief that your
For the rest of the tour, Marilyn judged every Russian behavior as inferior to that cultural traditions and assumptions
of Westerners. That first experience colored her perceptions, and her ethnocentric are superior to those of others.
view served as a barrier to effective interpersonal communication with the Russian
people she met. BEING Other-ORIENTED
Ethnocentrism stems from a conviction that our own cultural traditions and as- Most people are ethnocentric
sumptions are superior to those of others. It is the opposite of an other-orientation to some degree. But extreme
that embraces and appreciates the elements that give another culture meaning. This ethnocentrism can be a major
kind of cultural snobbism is one of the fastest ways to create a barrier that inhibits interpersonal communication
barrier. What symptoms may
rather than enhances communication.
indicate when an ethnocentric
The concept of ethnocentrism is not new. One hundred years ago, W. G. Sumner mindset may be interfering with
defined it as “the technical name of this view of things in which one’s own group is the the quality of communication
center of everything and all others are scaled and rated with reference to it.”65 Many with another person? What are
scholars have found that virtually all cultural groups are ethnocentric to some examples of comments that
might signal that someone
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66
degree. Some even argue that it’s not always bad to see one’s own cultural group as
believes his or her cultural
superior; an ethnocentric tendency enhances group pride and patriotism and encour- approaches are superior to
ages cultural traditions.67 A problem occurs, however, when a group views its own another person’s culture?
preferences as always the best way. Extreme ethnocentrism creates a barrier between
the group and others. 99

Different Communication Codes

You are on your first trip to Los Angeles. As you step off the bus and look around for Holly-
wood Boulevard, you realize you have gotten off at the wrong stop. You see what looks like
an old-fashioned corner grocery store with “Bodega” painted on a red sign. So you walk in
and ask the man behind the counter, “How do I get to Hollywood Boulevard, please?”
“No hablo inglés,” says the man, smiling and shrugging his shoulders. But he
points to a transit map pasted on the wall behind the counter.
Today, even when you travel within the United States, you are likely to encounter
people who do not speak your language. Obviously, this kind of intercultural differ-
ence poses a formidable communication challenge. And even when you do speak the
same language as someone else, he or she may come from a place where the words and
gestures have different meanings. But, as William Gudykunst wisely noted, “If we un-
derstand each others’ languages, but not their cultures, we can make fluent fools of
ourselves.”68 Research has found that your culture and ethnic background have a di-
rect effect on the way you listen to information from others.69 Ultimately, your ability
to communicate effectively and appropriately depends on whether you can under-
stand each other’s verbal and nonverbal codes.
In the preceding example, although the man behind the counter did not under-
stand your exact words, he noted the cut of your clothing, your backpack, and your
anxiety, and he deduced that you were asking directions. And you could understand
what his gesture toward the transit map meant. Unfortunately, not every communica-
tion between speakers of two different languages is this successful.
Even when language is translated, meaning can be missed or mangled. Note the
following examples of mistranslated advertisements:
● “Body by Fisher” in a General Motors auto ad became “Corpse by Fisher” in Flemish.
● A Colgate-Palmolive toothpaste named “Cue” was advertised in France before
anyone realized that Cue also happened to be the name of a widely circulated
pornographic book about oral sex.
● Pepsi-Cola’s “Come Alive with Pepsi” campaign, when it was translated for the
Taiwanese market, conveyed the unsettling news that “Pepsi brings your ances-
tors back from the grave.”
● Parker Pen could not advertise its famous “Jotter” ballpoint pen in some lan-
guages because the translation sounded like “jockstrap” pen.
● One American airline operating in Brazil advertised that it had plush “rendezvous
lounges” on its jets, unaware that in Portuguese (the language of Brazil), rendezvous
implies a special room for making love.70
PEANUTS: © United Feature Syndicate, Inc.

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Building Your Skills Assessing Your Ethnocentrism

The following measure of ethnocentrism was developed by com- _____ 12. I have little respect for the values and customs of
munication researchers James Neuliep and James McCroskey. other cultures.
Answer the following questions honestly. _____ 13. Most people would be happier if they lived like
people in my culture.
Directions: This instrument is composed of twenty-four state-
_____ 14. People in my culture have just about the best
ments concerning your feelings about your culture and other cul-
lifestyles of anywhere.
tures. In the space provided to the left of each item, indicate the
degree to which the statement applies to you by marking _____ 15. My culture is backward compared with most
whether you (5) strongly agree, (4) agree, (3) are neutral, (2) dis- other cultures.
agree, or (1) strongly disagree with the statement. There are no _____ 16. My culture is a poor role model for other cultures.
right or wrong answers. Work quickly and record your first re- _____ 17. Lifestyles in other cultures are not as valid as
sponse. those in my culture.
_____ 1. Most other cultures are backward compared with _____ 18. My culture should try to be more like other cul-
my culture. tures.
_____ 2. People in other cultures have a better lifestyle than _____ 19. I’m very interested in the values and customs of
we do in my culture. other cultures.
_____ 3. Most people would be happier if they didn’t live like _____ 20. Most people in my culture just don’t know what is
people do in my culture. good for them.
_____ 4. My culture should be the role model for other _____ 21. People in other cultures could learn a lot from
cultures. people in my culture.
_____ 5. Lifestyles in other cultures are just as valid as those _____ 22. Other cultures are smart to look up to my culture.
in my culture. _____ 23. I respect the values and customs of other
_____ 6. Other cultures should try to be more like my cultures.
culture. _____ 24. People from other cultures act strange and un-
_____ 7. l’m not interested in the values and customs of usual when they come into my culture.
other cultures.
Scoring: To determine your ethnocentrism, reverse your score
_____ 8. It is not wise for other cultures to look up to my
for items 2, 3, 5, 8, 9, 11, 15, 16, 18, 19, 20, and 23. For these
culture.
items, 5 = 1, 4 = 2, 3 = 3, 2 = 4, and 1 = 5. That is, if your original
_____ 9. People in my culture could learn a lot from people score was a 5, change it to a 1. If your original score was a 4,
in other cultures. change it to a 2, and so forth. Once you have reversed your
_____ 10. Most people from other cultures just don’t know score for these twelve items, add up all twenty-four scores. This
what’s good for them. is your generalized ethnocentrism score. Scores greater than 80
_____ 11. People from my culture act strange and unusual indicate high ethnocentrism. Scores of 50 and below indicate
when they go into other cultures. low ethnocentrism.

Source: J. W. Neuliep and J. C. McCroskey, “The Development of a U.S. and Generalized Ethnocentrism Scale,”
Communication Research Reports 14 (1997): 393.

Stereotyping and Prejudice

All Europeans dress fashionably.
All Asians are good at math.
All Americans like to drive big cars.
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These statements are stereotypes. They are all inaccurate. As we discussed in Chapter 3, to
stereotype someone is to push him or her into an inflexible, all-encompassing category.
Our tendency to simplify sensory stimuli can lead us to adopt stereotypes as we interpret stereotype To place a person or
and label the behavior of others.71 As we also noted in Chapter 3, there is evidence that we group of persons into an inflexible,
thin slice—make judgments about others in just seconds based on nonverbal cues. One all-encompassing category.

study found that after viewing just 20 seconds of silent videotape, subjects made stereotyp-
ical, biased racial judgments of others.72 Stereotypes become a barrier to effective intercul-
tural communication when we fail to consider the uniqueness of individuals, groups, or
events. Two anthropologists suggest that every person is, in some respects, (1) like all other
people, (2) like some other people, and (3) like no other people.73 The challenge when
meeting others is to sort out how they are alike and how they are unique.
Can stereotypes play any useful role in interpersonal communication? It may some-
times be appropriate to draw on stereotypes, or generalizations drawn from limited in-
stances. If, for example, you are alone and lost in a large city at two o’clock in the morning
and another car aggressively taps your rear bumper, it would be prudent to try to drive
away as quickly as possible, rather than to hop out of your car to make a new acquain-
tance. You would be wise to pre-judge that the other driver might have some malicious in-
tent. In most situations, however, prejudice—a judgment or opinion of someone formed
on the basis of stereotypes or before you know all the facts—inhibits effective communica-
tion, especially if your labels are inaccurate or assume superiority on your part.74
Communication author and consultant Leslie Aguilar notes that whether or not
we intend to perpetuate stereotypes and prejudice, we do so in seemingly innocent
ways.75 Here are some of the ways we may inadvertently stereotype others: telling
jokes (“Have you heard the one about the minister and the rabbi?”); using labels
(she’s a real “blue hair” or he’s “trailer trash”) or rigid descriptions (“crotchety old
man” or “bad woman driver”); making assumptions (assuming, for example, that a
woman’s career is less important than a man’s career, that men are insensitive, or that
women are physically weak); relying on “spokesperson syndrome” (“Don, what do
Hispanic people think about this topic?”); or making statistical overgeneralizations
(“Statistics show that Chinese do well in math”).
Certain prejudices are widespread. Although there are slightly more females than
males in the world, one study found that even when a male and a female hold the
same type of job, the male’s job is considered more prestigious than the female’s.76
Today, gender and racial discrimination in hiring and promotion is illegal in the
United States. But some people’s opinions have not kept pace with the law.

Assuming Similarities
Just as it is inaccurate to assume that all people who belong to another social group or
class are worlds apart from you, it is usually erroneous to assume that others act and
think just as you do. Cultural differences do exist. Research and our own observations
support the commonsense conclusion that people from different cultural and ethnic
backgrounds do speak and behave differently.77 Even if they appear to be like you, all
people are not alike. Although this statement is not profound, it has profound
implications. People often make the mistake of assuming that others value the same
things they do, maintaining a self-focused perspective instead of an other-oriented
one. As you saw in Chapter 3, focusing on superficial factors such as appearance,
clothing, and even a person’s occupation can lead to false impressions. Instead, you
must take the time to explore a person’s background and cultural values before you
can determine what you really have in common.

Assuming Differences
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Although it may seem to contradict what we just noted about assuming similarities, an-
other barrier to intercultural communication is to automatically assume that another per-
prejudice A judgment or opinion
of someone, formed before you
son is different from you. It can be just as detrimental to communication to assume
know all of the facts or the someone is different from you as it is to assume that others are similar to you. The fact is,
background of that person. human beings do share common experiences, while at the same time there are differences.

The point of noting that humans have similarities as well as differences is not to BEING Other-ORIENTED
diminish the role of culture as a key element that influences communication, but to
We build bridges with others
recognize that despite cultural differences, we are all members of the human family. who are different from us when
The words communication and common resemble one another. We communicate ef- we can identify something we
fectively and appropriately when we can connect to others based on what we hold in may have in common with
common. Identifying common cultural issues and similarities can also help us estab- them. Can you think of times
lish common ground with others. when you’ve been
communicating with someone
How are we all alike? Cultural anthropologist Donald Brown has compiled a list who was quite different from
of hundreds of “surface” universals of behavior and language use that have been iden- you, but you sought to identify
tified. According to Brown, people in all cultures78 something you both had in
common? What are some
● Have beliefs about death. common human experiences
that can create bridges as we
● Have a childhood fear of strangers. seek to establish common
● Divide labor on the basis of sex. ground with others?

● Experience envy, pain, jealousy, shame, and pride.

● Use facial expressions to express emotions.
● Have rules for etiquette.
● Experience empathy.
● Value some degree of collaboration or cooperation.
● Experience conflict and seek to manage or mediate conflict.
Of course, all cultures do not have the same beliefs about death, or divide labor ac-
cording to sex in the same ways, but all cultures address these issues. Communication re-
searcher David Kale believes that all humans seek to protect the dignity and worth of
other people.79 Thus, he suggests, all people can identify with the struggle to enhance
their own dignity and worth, although different cultures express that in different ways. A
second common value that Kale notes is the search for a world at peace. Intercultural
communication scholars Larry Samovar and Richard Porter suggest that there are other
elements that cultures share.80 They note that people from all cultures seek physical plea-
sure as well as emotional and psychological pleasure and avoid personal harm. It’s true
that each culture and each person decide what is pleasurable or painful; nonetheless,
Samovar and Porter argue, all people operate within this pleasure–pain continuum.
Linguist and scholar Steven Pinker is another advocate of common human val-
ues. Drawing on the work of anthropologists Richard Shweder and Alan Fiske, Pinker
suggests that the following value themes are universally present in some form or de-
gree in societies across the globe:
● It is bad to harm others and good to help them.
● People have a sense of fairness; we should reciprocate favors, reward benefactors,
and punish cheaters and those who do harm.
● People value loyalty to a group and sharing in a community or group.
● It is proper to defer to legitimate authority and to respect those with status and power.
● People should seek purity, cleanliness, and sanctity while shunning defilement
and contamination.81
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In summary, “ . . . avoidance of harm, fairness, community (or group loyalty),

authority, and purity . . . are the primary colors of our moral senses.”82
What are the practical implications of trying to identify common human values
or characteristics? Here’s one implication: If you are speaking about an issue on which

you and another person fundamentally differ, identifying a larger common value—
such as the value of peace, prosperity, or the importance of family—can help you find
a foothold so that the other person will at least listen to your ideas. It’s useful, we be-
lieve, not just to categorize our differences but also to explore how human beings are
similar to one another. Discovering how we are alike can provide a starting point for
human understanding. Yes, we are all different, but we share things in common as
well. Communication effectiveness is diminished when we assume we’re all different
from one another in every aspect, just as communication is affected negatively if we
assume we’re all alike.83 We’re more complicated than that.

Improving Intercultural Communication

Competence
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “We have to face the fact that either all of us are going to
die together or we are going to live together, and if we are to live together we have to
talk.”84 In essence, she was saying that to overcome differences people need effective
communication skills. It is not enough just to point to the barriers to effective inter-
cultural communication and say, “Don’t do that.” Although identifying the causes of
misunderstanding is a good first step to becoming interculturally competent, most
people need help with specific strategies to help them overcome these barriers. In this
book and in this chapter, we want to focus attention on the interpersonal communi-
cation strategies that can lead to intercultural communication competence.
Intercultural communication competence is the ability to adapt your behavior
toward another in ways that are appropriate to the other person’s culture.85 To be in-
terculturally competent is to be more than merely aware of what is appropriate or
simply sensitive to cultural differences. To be interculturally competent is to behave
toward others in ways that are appropriate. But prior to behaving appropriately, an
individual needs to have knowledge about another culture and the motivation to
adapt or modify his or her behavior.
Although we’ve identified stages in the process of becoming interculturally com-
petent, the question remains: How do you achieve intercultural communication
competence? The remaining portion of this chapter presents specific strategies to help
you bridge differences between you and people who have a different cultural perspec-
tive from yours.
You enhance your intercultural competence by doing what we introduced in
Chapter 1: You become knowledgeable, motivated, and skilled.86
● Develop Appropriate Knowledge. One of the barriers to effective intercultural
communication is having different communication codes. Improving your
knowledge of how others communicate can reduce the impact of this barrier. We
offer strategies to help you learn more about other cultures by actively pursuing
information about others.
intercultural communication ● Develop Motivation. Motivation is an internal state of readiness to respond to
competence Ability to adapt one’s something. A competent communicator wants to learn and improve. Developing
behavior toward another in ways
strategies to appreciate others who are different from you may help you appreci-
that are appropriate to the other
person’s culture. ate different cultural approaches to communication and relationships. We sug-
gest you endeavor to be tolerant of uncertainty and to avoid knee-jerk negative
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motivation Internal state of evaluations of others.

readiness to respond to something.
skill Behavior that improves the
● Develop Skill. Developing skill in adapting to others focuses on specific behaviors
effectiveness or quality of that can help overcome barriers and cultural differences. As we discussed in
communication with others. Chapter 1, becoming other-oriented is critical to the process of relating to others.

Communication and Emotion Are There Universal Emotions?

Do all of us experience and express emo- Other researchers have reached a dif- Why is it important to know whether
tions in the same way? The question of ferent conclusion.90 When critically exam- emotional expression and interpretation
whether there are universal emotions or ining the evidence of Paul Ekman and are common to all humans or are learned,
universal ways of expressing emotions others, they have found that culture does just as other elements of culture are
has been studied and debated by schol- play an important role in determining how learned? If there are indeed universal hu-
ars for decades. facial expressions are displayed and inter- man attributes common to all people,
One widely debated analysis, devel- preted.91 There is some evidence, for ex- their existence provides powerful addi-
oped by psychologist Robert Plutchik and ample, that people from collectivistic tional evidence for the theory of evolu-
shown in Figure 4.1, suggests that there cultures are socialized to not express tion. It also has implications for the
are eight primary human emotions: joy, emotions that would disrupt harmony in development of a truly human theory of
acceptance, fear, surprise, sadness, dis- the group. Specifically, people with col- communication.
gust, anger, and anticipation.87 These lectivist values may work harder at regu- So are there universal expressions
eight primary emotions can combine to lating how they express such emotions as and interpretations of human emotions?
produce eight secondary emotions. Al- anger, contempt, and disgust—emotions Among experts, consensus is emerging
though not all researchers agree that the that would hinder group peace.92 And that all humans have in common a biolog-
eight primary emotions are the definitive people from individualistic cultures may ically based tendency to express emo-
set of human emotions, a host of scholars feel that they have greater cultural license tions, while cultural differences exist in
argue that yes, there is a set of basic emo- to express these emotions more freely. how some emotions are interpreted.
tions that all humans experience.88 They
believe that through the biological process

Submission
of evolution, all humans have a core set of
emotional experiences. The debate about e
Lo

Aw
ve

whether there are universal emotions boils

down to whether you believe that nature
(biology) or nurture (culture) determines
Acc

r
common, core emotions. Those who think Fea
ept

we are “wired” or programmed for com-

anc

e
mon emotions believe that biology is the Joy pris
Sur
e

predominant influence in determining how Optimism Disappointment

we both interpret emotional expression tion Sad
icipa nes
and respond emotionally. Ant s
Dis
er

Researcher Paul Ekman has spent

Ang

gus

many years working with several col-

t
ss

leagues to determine if people from a

ne
ve

wide variety of cultures all interpret facial

Re
si

Contempt
es

expressions of emotion in the same way.

or
gr

s
Ag

His conclusion: “Our evidence, and that of

others, shows only that when people are
experiencing strong emotions, are not FIGURE 4.1
making any attempt to mask their expres- Robert Plutchik’s Model of Emotions
sions, the expression will be the same re- From Robert Plutchik, Emotion: A Psychoevolutionary Synthesis, © 1980. Published by
gardless of age, race, culture, sex and Allyn & Bacon, Boston, MA. Copyright © by Pearson Education. By permission of Pearson
education. That is a powerful finding.”89 Education, Inc..

Develop Knowledge
Knowledge is power. To increase your knowledge of others who are different from
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you, we suggest that you actively seek information about others, ask questions and lis-
ten for the answers, and establish common ground.

Seek Information. Seeking information about a culture or even about a specific

communication situation enhances the quality of intercultural communication. Why?

Because seeking information helps manage the uncertainty and anxiety that we may
feel when we interact with people who are different from us.93 Sometimes we feel un-
comfortable in intercultural communication situations because we just don’t know
how to behave. We aren’t sure what our role should be; we can’t quite predict what will
happen when we communicate with others because we’re in a new or strange situation.
Seeking new information can help counter inaccurate information and prejudice.
As we’ve noted, every person has a worldview based on cultural beliefs about the
universe and key issues such as death, God, and the meaning of life.94 These beliefs
shape our thoughts, language, and behavior. Only through intercultural communica-
tion can we hope to understand how each individual views the world. As you speak to
a person from another culture, think of yourself as a detective watching for implied,
often unspoken messages that provide information about the values, norms, roles,
and rules of that person’s culture.
You can also prepare yourself by studying the culture. If you are going to another
country, courses in the history, anthropology, art, or geography of that place can give
you a head start on communicating with understanding. Learn not only from books
and magazines, but also from individuals whenever possible.
Given the inextricable link between language and culture, the more you learn about
another language, the more you will understand the traditions and customs of the cul-
ture. Politicians have long known the value of using even a few words of their con-
stituents’ language. President Kennedy impressed and excited a crowd in Berlin by
proclaiming, “Ich bin ein Berliner” (“I am a Berliner”). Even though his diction was less
than perfect, he conveyed the message that he identified with his listeners. Speaking even
a few words can signify your interest in learning about the language and culture of others.

Ask Questions and Listen Effectively. When you encounter a person

from another background, asking questions and then pausing to listen is a simple
technique for gathering information and also for confirming the accuracy of your ex-
pectations and assumptions. For example, some cultures, such as the Japanese culture,
have clear expectations regarding gift giving. It is better to ask what these expectations
are than to assume that your good old down-home manners will see you through.
When you ask questions, be prepared to share information about yourself, too.
Otherwise, your partner may feel that you are interrogating him or her as a way to
gain power and dominance rather than from a sincere desire to learn about cultural
rules and norms.
Communication helps to reduce the uncertainty that is present in any relationship.95
When you meet people for the first time, you may be uncertain about who they are and
what they like and dislike. When you communicate with someone from another culture,
the uncertainty level is particularly high. As you begin to interact, you exchange informa-
tion that helps you develop greater understanding. If you continue to ask questions,
eventually you will feel less uncertain about how the person is likely to behave.
Just asking questions and sharing information about yourself are not sufficient
to bridge differences in culture and background. It is equally important to listen to
what others share. In the next chapter, we provide specific strategies for improving
your listening skills.

Create a “Third Culture.” Several researchers suggest that one of the best ways to
enhance understanding when communicating over a period of time with someone from
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a different cultural background is to develop a third culture. This is created when the
third culture Common ground
communication partners join aspects of separate cultures to create a third, “new” culture
established when people from
separate cultures create a third, that is more comprehensive and inclusive than either of the two separate cultures.96
“new,” more comprehensive and According to one intercultural communication researcher, F. L. Casmir, a third-
inclusive culture. culture approach to enhancing the quality of intercultural communication occurs

when the people involved in the conversation construct “a mutually benefi-

cial interactive environment in which individuals from two different cultures
can function in a way beneficial to all involved.”97
How do you go about developing a third culture? In a word: talk. A third
culture does not just happen all at once; it evolves from dialogue. The commu-
nicators construct a third culture together. After they realize that cultural differ-
ences may divide them, they may develop a third culture by making a conscious
effort to develop common assumptions and common perspectives for the rela-
tionship. Dialogue, negotiation, conversation, interaction, and a willingness to
let go of old ways and experiment with new frameworks are the keys to develop-
ing a third culture as a basis for a new relationship.
Developing a third-culture mentality can reduce our tendency to ap-
proach cultural differences from an “us-versus-them” point of view. Rather
than trying to eliminate communication barriers stemming from two differ-
ent sets of experiences, adopting a third-culture framework creates a new un-
derstanding of the other on the part of both participants.98
Consider the example of Marsha, a businesswoman from Lincoln, Ne-
braska, and Tomiko, a businesswoman from Tokyo, Japan. In the context of
their business relationship, it would be difficult for them to develop a compre-
hensive understanding of each other’s cultural traditions. However, if they
openly acknowledged the most significant of these differences and sought to cre-
ate a third culture by identifying explicit rules and norms for their interaction, Studying interpersonal communication
helps us learn to bridge differences in age,
they might be able to develop a more comfortable relationship with each other. gender, race, or ability that might act as
As described by communication researcher Benjamin Broome, the third barriers to effective communication.
culture “is characterized by unique values and norms that may not have existed
prior to the dyadic [two-person] relationship.”99 Broome labels the essence of this new
relationship relational empathy, which permits varying degrees of understanding,
rather than requiring complete comprehension of another’s culture or emotions.
The cultural context includes all the elements of the culture (learned behaviors
and rules, or “mental software”) that affect the interaction. Do you come from a cul-
ture that takes a tea break each afternoon at 4 P.M.? Does your culture value hard work
and achievement, or relaxation and enjoyment? Creating a third culture acknowledges
the different cultural contexts and interactions participants have experienced and
seeks to develop a new context for future interaction.

Develop Motivation: Strategies to Accept Others BEING Other-ORIENTED

Competent communicators want to learn and improve. They are motivated to en- Being motivated to establish
hance their ability to relate to others and to accept others as they are. A key to accept- positive relationships with others
who are different from us is a
ing others is to develop a positive attitude of tolerance and acceptance of those who
key aspect of communicating in
are different from you. We suggest three strategies to help improve your acceptance interculturally competent ways.
and appreciation of others who differ from you: Tolerate ambiguity, become mindful, What are “self-talk” messages
and avoid negative judgments of others. that you could tell yourself (such
as “I may feel uncomfortable
right now, but I will keep
Tolerate Ambiguity. Communicating with someone from another culture pro-
listening to this person”) to
duces uncertainty. It may take time and several exchanges to clarify a message. Be pa- motivate you to increase your
tient and try to expand your capacity to tolerate ambiguity if you are speaking to intercultural competence?
someone with a markedly different worldview.
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When Ken and Rita visited Miami from Peoria, they asked their hotel concierge
to direct them to a church of their faith, and they wound up at one with a predomi- relational empathy Essence of
a relationship that permits varying
nantly Haitian congregation. They were not prepared for the exuberant chanting and degrees of understanding, rather than
verbal interchanges with the minister during the sermon. They weren’t certain requiring complete comprehension
whether they should join in or simply sit quietly and observe. Ken whispered to Rita, of another’s culture or emotions.

“I’m not sure what to do. Let’s just watch and see what is expected of us.” In the end,
they chose to sit and clap along with the chanting rather than to become actively in-
volved in the worship. Rita felt uncomfortable and conspicuous, though, and had to
fight the urge to bolt. But after the service, several members of the congregation came
up to greet Ken and Rita, invited them to lunch, and expressed great happiness in
their visit. “You know,” said Rita later in the day, “I’m so grateful that we sat through
our discomfort. We might never have met those terrific people. Now I understand
why their worship is so noisy—they’re just brimming with joy.”

Be Mindful. “Our life is what our thoughts make it,” said Marcus Aurelius in
Meditations. As we noted in Chapter 3, to be mindful is to be consciously aware of
what you are doing, thinking, and sensing. With regard to cultural differences, to be
mindful is to acknowledge that there is a connection between thoughts and deeds
when you interact with a person from a background different from your own. William
Gudykunst suggests that being mindful is one of the best ways to approach any new
cultural encounter.100 Remember that there are and will be cultural differences, and
try to keep them in your consciousness. Also try to consider the other individual’s
frame of reference, or worldview, and to use his or her cultural priorities and assump-
tions when you are communicating.101 Adapt your behavior to minimize cultural
noise and distortion.
You can become more mindful through self-talk, something we discussed in
Chapter 2. Self-talk consists of messages you tell yourself to help you manage your
emotions or discomfort with a certain situation. Imagine that you are working on a
group project with several classmates. One classmate, Suji, was born in Iran. When in-
teracting with you, he consistently stands about a foot away from you, whereas you
are more comfortable with three or four feet between you. When Suji encroaches on
your space, you could be mindful of the reason for this behavior by mentally noting,
“Suji sure likes to get close to people when he talks to them. This may be how they do
things in his culture.” This self-talk message makes you consciously aware that there
may be a difference in your interaction styles. If you still feel uncomfortable, instead
of blurting out, “Hey, man, why so close?” you could express your own preferences
with an “I” message: “Suji, I’d prefer a bit more space between us when we talk.”

Avoid Negative Judgments.

American tourist on her first visit to Can you believe it? How repulsive!
France: These people actually eat horse meat
and think it’s a delicacy.
Black teenager watching his White Man, they don’t know anything
classmates dance: about good music! And those dances
are so dumb. I don’t call this a party.
Japanese businessperson visiting These people are never on time. No
Argentina: wonder they can never catch up to us.
German student, after watching a No wonder they work so hard. They
documentary about life in Japan: have dinky little houses. I’d work long
hours too if I had to live like that.
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mindful Aware of cultural The kind of ethnocentrism that underlies judgments like these is a communication
differences and the connection barrier. It is also an underlying cause of suspicion and mistrust and, in extreme cases,
between thoughts and deeds in
one’s interactions with someone a spark that ignites violence. Instead of making judgments about another culture, try
from a background different from simply to acknowledge differences and to view them as interesting challenges rather
one’s own. than as obstacles to be eradicated.

UNDERSTANDING OTHERS
Tao: A Universal Moral Code
Adapting to Differences
It’s clear that there are cultural differences their religious beliefs, cultural back- 5. The Law of Justice: Honor the basic
among the world’s people and that these ground, or government structure. He sug- human rights of others; each person
differences have existed since there have gested that the existence of Natural Laws, is of worth.
been people. Anthropologists and commu- or what he called a Tao—a universal 6. The Law of Good Faith and Veracity:
nication scholars who study intercultural moral code—informs human ethical deci- Keep your promises, and do not lie.
communication teach us the value of sions. In his book The Abolition of Man, 7. The Law of Mercy: Be compassionate
adapting to cultural differences in order to Lewis presented eight universal princi- to those less fortunate than you are.
understand others better. But are there any ples, or laws.103 He did not claim that all
8. The Law of Magnanimity: Avoid unnec-
universal values that are or have been em- societies have followed these laws—
essary violence against other people.
braced by all humans? The question is not many of them have been clearly violated
a new one; scholars, theologians, and and continue to be violated today—but he To support his argument that these are
many others have debated for millennia did suggest they provide a bedrock of val- universal values, Lewis offered quotations
whether there are any universal underpin- ues against which all societies may be from several well-known sources, including
nings for all human societies. In Chapter 3 measured. Here are his eight laws: religious, historical, and political writings,
we noted that social psychologists both contemporary and centuries old. Lewis
1. The Law of General Beneficence: Do
Penelope Brown and Stephen Levinson implied that these eight laws may be viewed
not murder, be dishonest, or take from
suggest that people from all cultures have as a universal Bill of Rights, and that they
others what does not belong to us.
a universal need to be treated with polite- constitute an underlying set of principles
2. The Law of Special Beneficence: that either implicitly or explicitly guide all civ-
ness.102 Are there other needs and values
Value your family members. ilized society. Do you agree? Is it useful to
that all humans share? To uncover such
commonalities is to develop a truly human 3. Duties to Parents, Elders, and Ances- search for underlying principles of human-
communication theory rather than a theory tors: Especially hold your parents, ness? Despite cultural differences, are there
that applies to a specific cultural context. those who are a generation older than underlying values or principles that should
C. S. Lewis, a British scholar, author, you, and your ancestors with special inform our interactions with others? Is there
and educator who taught at both Oxford honor and esteem. truly a universal human theory of communi-
University and Cambridge University, ar- 4. Duties to Children and Posterity: We cation? Or might it do more harm than good
gued that there are universal ethical and have a special obligation to respect to suggest that universal principles underlie
moral principles that undergird all soci- the rights of the young and to value what it means to behave and communicate
eties of civilized people, regardless of those who will come after us. appropriately and effectively?

Develop Skill
To be skilled is to be capable of putting into action what you know and want to achieve.
The skills underlying being interculturally competent are the ability to be flexible, to be
other-oriented, and to adapt your communication to others. We discuss these crucial skills
as an introduction to the communication skills that we present in the next four chapters.

Develop Creative Flexibility. When you encounter someone who comes

from a very different background, remember Dorothy’s famous line from The Wizard
of Oz and remind yourself that you’re “not in Kansas anymore.” You can no longer
rely on the assumptions of your own cultural heritage. Rather than relying on
“scripts” you would use “back home in Kansas,” it’s important to be flexible and re-
spond in creative and inventive ways. You may read guidebooks to prepare you for
new cultural experiences, but you can only learn so much from books; you must be
willing to learn as you communicate on the spot. Although in this chapter we’ve iden-
tified generalizations about different cultural groups, we caution you that these are
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only generalizations. Every individual is unique, so generalizations that you learn

from research will not always apply. For example, it would be inappropriate to auto-
matically assume that someone from Japan will value collectivism instead of individ-
ual achievement. Many members of minority groups in the United States find it
tiresome to correct these generalizations in their encounters with others. If you’re

Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
It’s important to be flexible in your responses to other cultures
and people with different backgrounds. Traveling in other
countries can hone your intercultural communication skills.

African American, gay, lesbian, or from a rural community, you may be weary of
someone asking what “you people” think about a particular issue, as if you spoke for
all members of your cultural or co-cultural group. Because each person is unique, it’s
important to treat each person not as a representative of a monolithic group, but as
someone with a distinct perspective.
The skill of observing and responding with creative flexibility enhances your inter-
cultural competence. It also calls on your ability to do a variety of things simultaneously.
While you’re listening to someone, you’re also adapting your behavior to respond to the
person’s cultural expectations. To multitask takes both creativity and flexibility. There is
evidence that as you gain experience and skill in interacting with people from other cul-
tural backgrounds, you develop an expanded repertoire of behaviors to enhance your
intercultural competence. Research further suggests that the amount of culture shock
you experience when communicating with someone from a different culture decreases
as you develop skills in interacting with people from that culture.104
How do you develop these skills? By developing the knowledge, motivation, and
behaviors that enhance the quality of your relationships with others. You’ll need to
pay close attention to the other person’s nonverbal cues when you begin conversing
(Is the person attentive? Does the person look interested? Confused?); then adjust
your communication style and language, if necessary, to put the person at ease. Listen
and respond and, if necessary, as we noted earlier, create a new culture—a third
culture—to forge a new way of interacting. You may, for example, prefer direct eye
contact when you speak with another person, but someone from a different culture
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may prefer less direct eye contact. So you may need to modify the amount of eye con-
tact you have with that person. As communication researchers Kathy Domenici and
Stephen Littlejohn advocate, “Good intercultural communication requires a certain
creativity, an ability to create new forms that bridge established cultural patterns.”105
110

Don’t go on “automatic pilot” when interacting with anyone—but, especially people BEING Other-ORIENTED
from a different cultural context.
Being other-oriented does not
mean becoming a “wishy-
Become Other-Oriented. Throughout the book, we have emphasized the washy” person who only says
importance of becoming other-oriented—focusing on others rather than yourself—as or does what the other person
an important way to enhance your interpersonal competence.106 We have also dis- wants. When you are other-
cussed the problems ethnocentrism can create when you attempt to communicate oriented, you maintain your
own sense of ethics and values
with others, especially with people whose culture differs from yours. while considering the needs
Although our focus in this discussion is on how to increase other-orientation in in- and interests of others. Identify
tercultural interactions, the principles apply to all interpersonal interactions. The major situations in which you have
difference between intercultural interactions and those that occur within your own cul- thought about what another
ture is primarily the obviousness of the differences between you and the other person. person might want, yet have
mindfully chosen to do
To become other-oriented is to do two things: first, to take into account another something contrary to what
person’s thoughts and perspective, and second, to consider what the other person may the other person may have
be experiencing emotionally. These are skills we’ve emphasized before. The first skill is wanted. Do you think you
called social decentering. The second skill is empathy. can be other-oriented but
Social decentering is a cognitive process in which you take into account the other not always do what another
person wants you to do?
person’s thoughts, values, background, and overall perspective. The greater the differ-
ence between you and another person, the more difficult it is to accomplish social de-
centering. As you meet someone from a different culture, ask yourself, “What might social decentering Cognitive
this person be thinking right now?” Of course, since you’re not a mind reader, you process in which we take into
won’t be able to know definitively what someone is thinking. But you can think about account another person’s thoughts,
feelings, values, background, and
what most people that you know might be thinking, or draw on your own experi- perspective.
ences. But keep the other person’s worldview and cultural values in mind as you make
inferences about his or her cognitive perspective. After considering his or her cogni- empathy Emotional reaction that
is similar to the reaction being
tive point of view, consider what the person may be experiencing emotionally. experienced by another person;
Empathy is an emotional reaction that is similar to the one being experienced by empathizing is feeling what
another person.107 Empathy is about emotions, whereas social decentering is about another person is feeling.

Identifying and Adapting to Cultural

Building Your Skills
Rules and Norms

What are the typical norms and rules that you expect when com- Norms and rules regarding typical times for daily meals:
municating with people in your own cultural and ethnic group in _________________________________________________________
the following situations? _________________________________________________________
Norms and rules regarding punctuality at meetings:
Norms and rules regarding appropriate use of someone’s first
_________________________________________________________ name:
_________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________
Norms and rules regarding greetings between good friends: _________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________ Share your answers with your classmates. Note the similari-
_________________________________________________________ ties and differences in your responses, both among people who
share common cultural and ethnic backgrounds and among peo-
Norms and rules regarding giving and receiving gifts among friends:
ple who have different cultural and ethnic backgrounds.
_________________________________________________________ Which of the skills for enhancing intercultural competence
_________________________________________________________ discussed on pages 109–112 would help you adapt to the differ-
ent rules and expectations?
Norms and rules regarding giving and receiving gifts among
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business associates:
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

cognitive processes. You develop empathy as you draw on your own experiences (what
you might be feeling), your knowledge of other people in general, and what you know
about the specific person you are interacting with. Some suggest that it’s impossible to
ever experience the emotions of another person with complete confidence and accu-
racy. We agree. But to be empathic is to do your best to put yourself in someone else’s
place emotionally and consider what that person is feeling. Being in touch emotionally
is hard work, and some people are just naturally more empathic toward others.

Appropriately Adapt Your Communication. The logical extension of be-

ing flexible and becoming other-oriented is to adapt your communication to enhance
the quality and effectiveness of your interpersonal communication. To adapt means to
adjust your behavior to others to accommodate differences and expectations. Appropri-
ate adaptation occurs in the context of the relationship you have with the other person
and what is happening in the communication environment. Communication accom-
modation theory suggests that all people adapt their behavior to others to some extent.
Those who adapt to others appropriately and sensitively are more likely to experience
more positive communication.108 Adapting to others doesn’t mean you only tell others
what they want to hear and do what others want you to do. Nor are we suggesting that
you adapt your behavior only so that you can get your way; the goal is effective commu-
nication, not manipulation. We are suggesting, rather, that you be aware of what your
communication partner is doing and saying, especially if there are cultural differences
between you, so that your message is understood and you don’t unwittingly offend the
other person. Although it may seem to be common sense, being sensitive to others and
adapting behaviors to others are not as common as you might think.
Sometimes people adapt their behavior based on what they think someone will
like. At other times, they adapt their communication after realizing they have done
adapt To adjust one’s behavior in something wrong. When you modify your behavior in anticipation of an event, you
accord with what someone else adapt predictively. For example, you might decide to buy a friend flowers to soften
does. We can adapt based on the the news about breaking a date because you know how much your friend likes flowers.
individual, the relationship, and When you modify your behavior after an event, you adapt reactively. For example,
the situation.
you might buy your friend flowers to apologize after a fight.
communication accommodation You often adapt your messages to enhance message clarity. There are at least four
theory Theory that all people reasons that explain why you may adapt your communication with another person.
adapt their behavior to others to
some extent. ● Information: You adapt your message in response to specific information that you
adapt predictively To modify or
already know about your partner, such as what he or she may like or dislike, or
change behavior in anticipation of information that your partner has shared with you.
an event. ● Perceived Behavior: You adapt your communication in response to what you
adapt reactively To modify or think the other person is thinking, what you see the person doing, and your ob-
change behavior after an event. servations of the person’s emotional expressions and moods.
● History: You adapt your messages to others based on previous conversations, past
BEING Other-ORIENTED shared experiences, and personal information that others have shared with you.
At the heart of being other- ● Communication Context: You adapt your message depending on where you are;
oriented is adapting your you may whisper a brief comment to someone during a movie, yet shout a com-
behavior toward others in ment to someone when attending a loud rock concert.
mindful and ethical ways.
Review the adaptation In intercultural interactions, people frequently adapt communication in response to the
strategies that are presented in feedback or reactions they are receiving during a conversation. An other-oriented com-
Table 4.2. Identify other municator is constantly looking at and listening to the other person in order to appro-
examples of various ways of
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priately adapt his or her communication behavior. Table 4.2 describes how we adapt
adapting to others. Which
strategies are easiest for you to our verbal messages to others and provides some examples.
use, and which are the most People in conversations also adapt to nonverbal cues. Many times, they raise or lower
challenging for you? voice volume in response to the volume of a partner, or lean toward people in response to
their leaning toward the speaker. We talk more about such nonverbal cues in Chapter 7.

TABLE 4.2 How Do We Adapt to Others?

Type of Adaptation Examples

Adapting the Topic and Level of Intimacy of Your Conversation • Talking about a class you both attend
Choosing topics of conversation because of shared interests or things you have • Mentioning an article you read about a TV show your partner really likes
in common with your partner, including sharing information about yourself • Telling someone about your depression because you believe he or she cares

Adapting How You Explain or Describe Something • Telling a story about Ike, whom your partner doesn’t know, and
Providing additional information or detail because you recognize that your explaining that Ike is your uncle
communication partner has certain gaps in his or her information • Describing Facebook to your grandparent, who doesn’t know what the
Internet is
• Telling someone, “I know my behavior might seem a little erratic, but I’m
under a lot of pressure at work right now and my parents are on my case”

Adapting by Withholding or Avoiding Information • Not elaborating on the parts of an auto engine when describing a car
Not providing explanations of something your partner already knows; not problem because you know your partner is knowledgeable about cars
providing information to avoid an anticipated undesired reaction from your • Not telling someone you saw his or her lover with someone else because
partner; or not providing information because of a fear of how your partner he or she would be hurt
might potentially use the information (such as sharing the information with • Not mentioning your interest in a mutual friend because you know the
other people) listener would blab about it to the mutual friend

Adapting Your Use of Examples, Comparisons, and Analogies • Describing a person your partner doesn’t know by comparing the person
Choosing messages you believe your partner will find relevant to someone your partner knows
• Explaining roller blading by comparing it to ice skating because your
partner is an avid ice skater

Adapting Through Your Choice of Language • Using formal address in response to status differences: “Thank you,
Choosing or avoiding specific words because of the anticipated effect on your Professor Smith”
partner; consciously selecting words that you believe are understandable to your • Using slang when the relationship is perceived as informal
partner; or using words that have a unique meaning to you and your partner • Using nicknames, inside jokes, or teasing comments with close friends

Source: © Mark V. Redmond, “Interpersonal Content Adaptation in Everyday Interactions,” paper presented at the annual meeting of
the National Communication Association, Boston (2005).

Adaptation across intercultural contexts is usually more difficult than adaptation

within your own culture. Imagine shaking hands with a stranger and having the
stranger hold on to your hand as you continue to talk. In the United States, hand
holding between strangers violates nonverbal norms. But in some cultures, maintain-
ing physical contact while talking is expected. Pulling your hand away from this per-
son would be rude. What may be mannerly in one culture is not always acceptable in
another. Adapting to these cultural differences means developing that “third culture”
that we talked about earlier in the chapter.
Taking an other-oriented approach to communication means considering the
thoughts, feelings, background, perspectives, attitudes, and values of your partners
and adjusting your interaction with them accordingly. Other-orientation leads to
more effective interpersonal communication, regardless of whether you are dealing
with someone in your family or a person from another country.
In an effective interpersonal relationship, your partner is also orienting himself or
herself to you. A competent communicator has knowledge of others, is motivated to en-
ISBN 0-558-82929-5

hance the quality of communication, and possesses the skill of being other-oriented.

If you learn the skills and principles we have presented here, will it really make a
difference in your ability to relate to others? Evidence suggests that the answer is yes. A
study by communication researcher Lori Carrell found that students who had been

exposed to lessons in empathy linked to a study of interpersonal and intercultural

communication improved their ability to empathize with others.109 There is evidence
that if you master these principles and skills, you will be rewarded with greater insight
and ability to relate to others who are different from you.

RECAP How to Improve Your Intercultural Communication Competence

Develop Knowledge
Actively Seek Information Learn about the worldview of someone from another culture
Listen and Ask Questions Reduce uncertainty by asking for clarification and listening to the answer
Create a Third Culture Create common ground by merging aspects of both cultural traditions to develop a common understanding
Develop Motivation
Tolerate Ambiguity Take your time, and expect some uncertainty
Be Mindful Be conscious of cultural differences, rather than ignoring the differences
Avoid Negative Judgments Resist thinking that your culture has all the answers
Develop Skill
Be Creatively Flexible Learn as you interact, and be willing to adjust your behavior as you learn
Become Other-Oriented Put yourself in the other person’s mental position (social decentering) and emotional mindset (empathizing)
Adapt Your Communication Adjust your behavior to others to ethically accommodate differences and expectations

APPLYING AN OTHER-ORIENTATION
to Diversity: The Platinum Rule
When interacting with someone who be listening to Mozart’s Horn Quintet But is the Platinum Rule always
is dramatically different from you, if in E flat, K. 407. Whether it’s taste in helpful, or even possible? As you
you want to be truly other-oriented, music or food, greeting rituals, or a ponder the virtues and challenges of
you may need to go beyond what is host of other culturally determined becoming other-oriented and adapt-
known to most Westerners as “The behaviors, the ultimate other-oriented ing your communication behavior to
Golden Rule”: “Do unto others as you behavior would be what communica- enhance your intercultural communi-
would have others do unto you.” Or, tion researcher Milton Bennett calls cation competence, consider the fol-
as succinctly stated by the Buddha, the Platinum Rule: Do to others lowing questions:
“Consider others as yourself.” In as they themselves would like to be • Is the Platinum Rule always desir-
Chapter 2 on page 37 we identified treated.110 Rather than treating peo- able? Are there situations when it
additional interpretations of the same ple as you would like to be treated, would be inappropriate to follow the
principle from a variety of religious interact with others the way you think Platinum Rule? Explain your answer.
traditions. But when interacting with they would like to be treated. Accord- • What are some obstacles to apply-
someone who is quite different from ing to Bennett, at its essence, empa- ing the Platinum Rule, especially
you, treating him or her as you’d like thy is “the imaginative, intellectual with people who are culturally dif-
to be treated may not achieve rela- and emotional participation in an- ferent from you?
tional benefits. If you like hip-hop other person’s experience.”111 The • How can the Platinum Rule be use-
music but your friend prefers Mozart, goal, according to Bennett, is to at- ful when you are having a dis-
taking her to a Mos Def concert may tempt to think and feel what another
ISBN 0-558-82929-5

agreement with another person?

make you feel good about following person thinks and feels and to go be- • Think about a time when you ap-
the Golden Rule (that’s how you’d yond that by taking positive action plied the Platinum Rule. What was
like to be treated)—but the concert toward others in response to your the effect on the person with whom
might be painful for her if she’d rather empathic feelings. you were communicating?

Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
STUDY GUIDE
Review, Apply, and Explore
Understanding Diversity: Web Resources
Describing Our Differences http://www.yforum.com Visitors to the National Forum on
(pages 87–93) People’s Differences can ask questions about religion, culture,
gender, ethnicity, sexual preference, or other topics that might
As we increasingly interact and communicate with people who
be too personal or embarrassing to ask someone in person.
are different from us, we must learn ways to appreciate and un-
derstand those differences and to bridge them in our interper-
sonal relationships. Our everyday world presents us with Understanding Culture: Dimensions
differences in gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, age, of Our Mental Software
and social class, all of which can influence how we communi- (pages 93–97)
cate with and relate to others.
Culture is a learned system of knowledge, behaviors, attitudes,
Key Terms beliefs, values, and norms shared by a group of people. Cul-
Sex 88 Ethnicity 90 ture influences how we process information and make sense
Gender 88 Discrimination 91 of the world. Researchers have identified six dimensions com-
Race 90 mon to all cultures they have studied: individualism versus
collectivism, reliance on context, masculinity versus feminin-
Critical Thinking Questions ity, comfort with uncertainty, approach to power, and ap-
1. What type of diversity do you find on campus? In the proach to time.
workplace? In your community? Do you find that you
communicate differently with people from different groups Key Terms
and cultures? Explain. Culture 93 High-context culture 95
Worldview 93 Low-context culture 95
2. How have gender differences played a role in your own
Co-culture 94 Masculine culture 95
communication or interactions with others? Explain.
Enculturation 94 Feminine culture 95
3. Ethics: When Wayne, a Catholic Polish American, went to visit Cultural context 95
Dave, who was from an old Southern Baptist family, Dave’s
dad made a bigoted statement about African Americans. This Critical Thinking Questions
upset Wayne, and he wondered whether Dave’s father was
1. Name the co-cultures to which you belong. Would you de-
prejudiced against Catholics, too. Should Wayne have spoken
scribe your co-cultures as low- or high-context, masculine or
up and told Dave’s dad that he did not like the remark? What
feminine? Explain. What beliefs and norms characterize these
would be the best way to approach such a discussion?
co-cultures? What does your culture or co-culture value?
Activities 2. Ethics: Is it ethical or appropriate for someone from one
culture to attempt to change the cultural values of someone
How well do you think you could predict someone’s reactions to
from a different culture? For example, consider the case in
finding out that a parent or another close relative had just died?
which children living on a Texas ranch owned by a polyga-
Rank-order each of the following from 1 (the person whose reac-
mous religious sect were taken from their families for sus-
tion you could predict most confidently) to 6 (the person whose
pected abuse, which was in the news in 2008: Is it right for
reaction you’d be least confident about predicting).
others to attempt to make someone from another culture
a. ______ A close friend of your own sex, age, race, and cul-
or with a different value system change his or her ways?
tural background
b. ______ A sixty-year-old male Chinese farmer Activities
c. ______ A college student twenty years older than you, Bring to class a fable, folktale, or children’s story from a culture
but of your own race, sex, and cultural background other than your own. As a group, analyze the cultural values
d. ______ A ten-year-old girl from California who is the implied by the story or characters in the story.
daughter of Asian and Latino parents
e. ______ A college student of a different race but your Barriers to Effective Intercultural
own age, cultural background, and sex
Communication and Improving
f. ______ A college student of the opposite sex but your
Intercultural Communication
own age, race, and cultural background
Competence
ISBN 0-558-82929-5

Which characteristics of each person do you believe provide the

(pages 97–114)
best information on which to base your judgments? Why? What
would you need to know about each person to feel comfortable Research indicates that culture has a direct effect on how we com-
in making a prediction? How could you get that information?112 municate with one another. The greater the difference in culture,
115

the greater the potential for misunderstanding and miscommuni- 2. Jonna, an American, has just been accepted as a foreign ex-
cation. Different communication codes, including different lan- change student in Germany. What potential cultural barri-
guages and interpretations of verbal and nonverbal messages, can ers may she face? How should she manage these potential
be barriers to effective communication with those from cultures barriers?
different from our own. Likewise, an ethnocentric view that one’s 3. Ethics: What are appropriate ways to deal with someone
own culture is superior to others can be a barrier. You can im- who consistently utters racial slurs and displays prejudice
prove your intercultural communication competence by develop- toward racial and ethnic groups?
ing knowledge about others, developing motivation to understand
others, and developing skill and adapting your communication Activities
and behavior with others in appropriate ways.
In small groups, identify examples from your own experiences
of each barrier to effective intercultural communication dis-
Key Terms cussed in the text. Use one of the examples as the basis for a skit
Intercultural communication 97 Relational empathy 107 to perform for the rest of the class. See whether the class can
Culture shock 98 Mindful 108 identify which intercultural barrier your group is depicting.
Ethnocentrism 99 Social decentering 111 Also, suggest how the skills and principles discussed in the
Stereotype 101 Empathy 111 chapter might have improved the communication in the situa-
Prejudice 102 Adapt 112 tion you role-play.
Intercultural communication Communication accommodation
competence 104 theory 112
Motivation 104 Adapt predictively 112
Web Resources
Skill 104 Adapt reactively 112 http://chocd.umsl.edu The Center for Human Origin and
Third culture 106 Cultural Diversity provides suggestions for the development of
social justice and cultural awareness curricula.
Critical Thinking Questions
1. What is the problem in assuming that other people are like
us? How does this create a barrier to effective intercultural
communication?

ISBN 0-558-82929-5

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