Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting To Others
Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting To Others
and Diversity:
Adapting to
Others
Objectives
1 Describe
communication.
2 Define culture.
4
five human differences that influence
Outline
• Understanding Diversity: Describing Our Differences
• Understanding Culture: Dimensions of Our Mental
Software
• Barriers to Effective Intercultural Communication
• Improving Intercultural Communication Competence
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85
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
86 Part One Interpersonal Communication Foundations
or culture) affected the way you emphasize the role of cultural differences and how those differences affect our inter-
interact with this person? personal communication while also noting a variety of ways in which we may seem
strange to one another.
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
Chapter 4 Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting to Others 87
UNDERSTANDING OTHERS
Adapting to Differences A Diversity Almanac
1. Two-thirds of the immigrants on this adults in this country will come from 8. There are more “Millennials” (people
planet come to the United States.4 minority groups.7 born between 1982 and 2002) in the
2. In the United States, there are “minority 5. If the current trend continues, by the U.S. population than any other age
majorities” (where minorities outnum- year 2050 the percentage of the group. In 2004 the U.S. population in-
ber traditional European Americans) in U.S. population that is White will de- cluded 100 million Millennials,
Miami; Laredo, Texas; Gary, Indiana; crease to 53 percent, down from a 44 million Generation Xers (born
Detroit; Washington, DC; Oakland, current 79 percent. Asians will in- 1961–1981), and 78 million Baby
California; Atlanta; San Antonio; Los crease to 16 percent, up from 1.6 Boomers (born 1943–1960).11
Angeles; Chicago; Baltimore; Houston; percent; Hispanics will more than 9. One out of every eight U.S. residents
New York; Memphis; San Francisco; triple their numbers to over 25 per- speaks a language other than English
Fresno, California; and San Jose, cent, up from just over 7.5 percent; at home, and one-third of children in
California.5 and African Americans will increase urban U.S. public schools speak a
3. It is estimated that more than forty their proportion slightly from the first language other than English.12
million U.S. residents have a non- current 12 percent.8 10. During the past decade, the com-
English first language, including eigh- 6. More than 30 percent of graduate as- bined population of African Ameri-
teen million people whose first sistants teaching in universities in the cans, Native Americans, Asians,
language is Spanish.6 United States are foreign born.9 Pacific Islanders, and Hispanics grew
4. Almost one-third of U.S. residents un- thirteen times faster than the non-
7. Studies of gay and lesbian popula-
der age thirty-five are members of mi- Hispanic White population.13
tions in the United States estimate
nority groups, compared with that gay men make up from 1 to 9 11. Non-Hispanic Whites constitute a
one-fifth of those age thirty-five or percent of the general male popula- minority of the population in Texas,
older. According to U.S. Bureau of tion and lesbians make up from 1 New Mexico, and California.14
the Census population projections, by to 5 percent of the general female 12. Sixty percent of the residents of
the year 2025 nearly half of all young population.10 Miami are foreign-born.15
the barriers that cultural differences can create. We’ll conclude the chapter by
identifying strategies to enhance the quality of interpersonal communication with
others, despite our differences.
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
88 Part One Interpersonal Communication Foundations
psychological characteristics pressing their rights within American society. Questions of whether gays and
(femininity, masculinity, lesbians should participate in the military, the clergy, and the teaching profession
androgyny). have stirred the passions of many. Being gay or lesbian has become a source of pride
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
Chapter 4 Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting to Others 89
for some, but it is still a social stigma for others. The incidence of suicide among gay
and lesbian teenagers is significantly higher than among heterosexual teens.23 Al-
though gay people are gaining legal rights and protections, they are still subject to
discriminatory laws and social intolerance. Yet the gay and lesbian communities are
important co-cultures within the larger U.S. culture.
There is evidence that gay and lesbian individuals continue to be judged nega-
tively based solely on their sexual orientation.24 Research further suggests that hetero-
sexuals who have negative perceptions of gays and lesbians are more likely to have
rigid views about gender roles and to assume that their peers also hold such rigid
views and negative impressions of gays and lesbians.25 In addition, those who hold
negative attitudes toward gays and lesbians are less likely to have interpersonal com-
munication with gays or lesbians.26 It is because of the existence of these negative atti-
tudes as well as anti-gay violence and harassment, that some gays and lesbians
continue to conceal their sexual orientation.
An effective and appropriate interpersonal communicator is aware of and sensi-
tive to issues and attitudes about sexual orientation in contemporary society. Homo-
phobia, the irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality
and gays or lesbians, continues to exist among many people. Just as you have been
taught to avoid biased expressions that degrade someone’s race or ethnicity, it is
equally important to avoid using language that demeans a person’s sexual orientation.
Telling stories and jokes whose points or punch lines rely on cruelly ridiculing a per-
son because of his or her sexual orientation lowers perceptions of your credibility not
only among gay and lesbian people, but also among people who dislike any show of
bias against gays and lesbians.
Although we may not intend anything negative, sometimes we unintentionally
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offend someone through more subtle use and misuse of language.27 For example, usu-
ally gays and lesbians typically prefer to be referred to as “gay” or “lesbian” rather than
“homosexual.” In addition, the term sexual orientation is preferred over sexual preference
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
90 Part One Interpersonal Communication Foundations
Productions. Dist. by Universal Press Syndicate. Reprinted
FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE © 2006 by Lynn Johnston
when describing a person’s sexual orientation. Our language should reflect and ac-
knowledge the range of human relationships that exist. Our key point is this: Be sensi-
tively other-oriented as you interact with those whose sexual orientation is different
from your own.
shared by a group of people who separate category that is based on genetic or biological factors. But research has
also share a common geographical found those genetic or biological distinctions are not clear-cut. A key distinction
origin. between race and ethnicity is that one’s ethnicity is a socially constructed category
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
Chapter 4 Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting to Others 91
that emphasizes culture and a host of other factors other than one’s racial or
genetic background. Not all Asians (race), for example, have the same cultural
background (ethnicity).32 Nationality and geographical location are especially im-
portant in defining an ethnic group. Those of Irish ancestry are usually referred to
as an ethnic group rather than as a race. The same could be said of Britons, Norwe-
gians, and Spaniards.
Ethnicity, like race, fosters common bonds that affect communication patterns.
On the positive side, ethnic groups bring vitality and variety to American society. On
the negative side, members of these groups may experience persecution or rejection
by members of other groups in society.
One of the most significant problems that stem from attempts to classify people
by racial or ethnic type is the tendency to discriminate and unfairly, inaccurately, or
inappropriately ascribe stereotypes to racial or ethnic groups. Discrimination is the
unfair or inappropriate treatment of other people based on their group membership.33
One of the goals of learning about diversity and becoming aware of both differences
and similarities among groups is to eliminate discrimination and stereotypes that
cause people to rigidly and inappropriately pre-judge others.
Age
Different generations, because they have experienced different cultural and historical
events, tend to view life differently. If your grandparents or great-grandparents experi-
enced the Great Depression of the 1930s, they may have different attitudes about savings
accounts than you or even your parents do. Today’s explicit song lyrics may shock older
Americans who grew up with such racy lyrics as “makin’ whoopee.” The generation gap
is real and has implications for the relationships we develop with others.
Generational differences have an effect not just on communication with your
parents or other family members, but on a variety of relationships, including those
with teachers, merchants, bosses, and mentors. There is considerable evidence that
people hold stereotypical views of others based on others’ perceived age.34 In addi-
tion, a person’s age has an influence on his or her communication with others. For
example, one study found that older adults have greater difficulty in accurately inter-
preting the nonverbal messages of others than younger people do.35 Older adults also
don’t like to be patronized or talked down to (who does?).36 And younger people
seem to value social support, empathic listening, and being mentored more than
older people do.37
Authors Neil Howe and William Strauss, two researchers who have investi-
gated the role of age and generation in society, define a generation as “a society-
wide peer group, born over a period roughly the same length as the passage from
youth to adulthood, who collectively possess a common persona.”38 Baby Boomers
is the label for one such generation, people born between 1943 and 1960. Perhaps
your parents or grandparents are Boomers. Generation X is the term used for peo-
ple born between 1961 and 1981. If you were born between 1982 and 2002, you
and your generation have been labeled Millennials.39 Researchers Howe and
Strauss suggest that, as a group, “Millennials are unlike any other youth generation
in living memory. They are more numerous, more affluent, better educated, and
more ethnically diverse. More importantly, they are beginning to manifest a wide
array of positive social habits that older Americans no longer associate with youth,
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including a focus on teamwork, achievement, modesty, and good conduct.”40 discrimination Unfair or
Table 4.1 summarizes labels for and common characteristics and values of several inappropriate treatment of people
generational groups. based on their group membership.
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
92 Part One Interpersonal Communication Foundations
Social Class
The Constitution of the United States declares that all people are created equal, but
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there is dramatic evidence that class differences exist and affect communication pat-
terns. Social psychologist Michael Argyle reports that the cues we use to identify class
distinctions are (1) way of life, (2) family, (3) job, (4) money, and (5) education.44
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
Chapter 4 Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting to Others 93
how you perceive and respond to what happens to you. Your cultural worldview shapes issues, such as death, God, and the
your thoughts, language, and actions; it permeates all aspects of how you interact with meaning of life, which influence
society. You cannot avoid having a worldview. Our personal worldview is so pervasive interaction with others.
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
94 Part One Interpersonal Communication Foundations
that we may not even be aware of it. Just as a fish may not be aware of the water in its
fish bowl, you may not be aware of how your worldview influences every aspect of your
life—how you see and what you think. Your worldview is one of the primary ways you
make sense out of the world—it’s how you interpret what happens to you.
Sometimes when we speak of culture, we may be referring to a co-culture. A
co-culture is a distinct culture within a larger culture. The differences of gender, sex-
ual orientation, race and ethnicity, age, and social class that we discussed earlier are
co-cultures within the predominant culture. For example, about 80 percent of the
population of the United States is classified as White, European, American, or Cau-
casian. Members of minority groups such as African Americans, Latinos, and Asians
develop a co-culture, or what is sometimes called a microculture. The Amish, Men-
nonite, Mormon, Islamic, and Jewish religious groups are additional examples of im-
portant religious co-cultures. Often, because they are in the minority, members of a
co-culture not only feel marginalized, they are marginalized in employment, educa-
tion, housing, and other aspects of society. To enhance their power and self-identity,
members of co-cultures may develop their own rules and norms. For example, teens
develop their own slang, wear certain kinds of clothing, value certain kinds of music,
co-culture A microculture; a
distinct culture within a larger and engage in other behaviors that make it easier for them to be identified apart from
culture (such as the gay and lesbian the larger culture.
co-culture). Researchers and scholars who study culture have identified various dimensions
enculturation The process of or elements, of culture. These dimensions provide a framework to describe how our
transmitting a group’s culture from culture influences us. These dimensions are not rooted in biology but are learned,
one generation to the next. passed on from parents to children. Enculturation is the process of transmitting a
group’s culture from one generation to the next. You are not born with a certain
taste in music, food, or automobiles. You learn to behave in accordance with the
Individualism is a strong cultural elements that characterize your culture and to appreciate the dimensions of your
dimension in the United States.
culture, just as you learn anything: through observing role models and receiving
Individual achievements are
rewarded, often quite publicly. positive reinforcement.
The six dimensions of culture that we discuss here have been identified by
researchers who have found them in all cultures that they have studied. Think
of these dimensions as general ways of describing how culture is expressed in
the behavior of groups of people. The six dimensions are (1) individualism
(an emphasis on the individual) versus collectivism (an emphasis on the
group); (2) an emphasis on the surrounding context, including nonverbal be-
haviors, versus little emphasis on context; (3) masculine values that empha-
size accomplishment versus feminine values that emphasize nurturing; (4)
degree of tolerance for uncertainty; (5) approaches to power; and (6) short- or
long-term approaches to time.
as having a unique set of talents and potentials. The translation of these po-
tentials into actuality is considered the highest purpose to which one can de-
vote one’s life.50
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
Chapter 4 Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting to Others 95
Conversely, in a collectivistic culture, people strive to attain goals for all members
of the family, group, or community. In Kenyan tribes, for example,
[N]obody is an isolated individual. Rather, his [or her] uniqueness is a secondary
fact. . . . In this new system group activities are dominant, responsibility is
shared, and accountability is collective. . . . Because of the emphasis on collectiv-
ity, harmony and cooperation among the group tends to be emphasized more
than individual function and responsibility.51
Individualistic cultures tend to be more loosely knit socially; individuals feel re-
sponsible for taking care of themselves and their immediate families.52 In collectivistic
cultures, individuals expect more support from others; they also experience more loy-
alty to and from the community. Because collectivistic cultures place more value on
“we” than “I,” teamwork approaches usually succeed better in their workplaces. U.S.
businesses have tried to adopt some of Japan’s successful team strategies for achieving
high productivity.
somewhere in between. For centuries, most countries in Europe, Asia, and the Ameri- which people tend to value caring,
cas have had masculine cultures. Men and their conquests dominate history books; sensitivity, and attention to quality
men have been more prominent in leadership and decision making than women. But of life.
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
96 Part One Interpersonal Communication Foundations
today many of these cultures are moving slowly toward the middle—
legal and social rules are encouraging more gender balance and
greater equality between masculine and feminine roles.
Canada and the United States are closer to the short-term time orientation than the
long-term time orientation, which suggests an emphasis on valuing quick results from
projects and greater pressure toward spending rather than saving, as well as a respect
for traditions.59
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
Chapter 4 Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting to Others 97
Individualism: Societies that place greater United States, Australia, Great Britain, Canada, Guatemala, Ecuador, Panama, Venezuela,
emphasis on individualism generally value Netherlands, New Zealand, Italy, Belgium, Colombia, Indonesia, Pakistan, Costa Rica, Peru,
individual accomplishment more than do Denmark, Sweden, France Taiwan, South Korea
societies that value collective or collaborative
achievement.
Context: High-context societies prefer to draw Japan, China, Saudi Arabia, Italy, Greece Switzerland, Germany, Sweden, Denmark,
information from the surrounding context, Finland, United States, Australia
including nonverbal messages. Low-context
societies tend to prefer information to be
presented explicitly, usually in words.
Gender: Societies with greater emphasis on Japan, Australia, Venezuela, Italy, Switzerland, Sweden, Norway, Netherlands, Denmark, Costa
masculinity value achievement, assertiveness, Mexico, Ireland, Jamaica, Great Britain Rica, Finland, Chile, Portugal, Thailand
heroism, material wealth, and more clearly
differentiated sex roles. People from more
feminine cultures tend to value caring,
sensitivity, and attention to quality of life.
Uncertainty: People in societies with less Greece, Portugal, Guatemala, Uruguay, Belgium, Singapore, Jamaica, Denmark, Sweden, Hong
tolerance for uncertainty generally like to know Japan, Peru, France, Argentina, Chile Kong, Ireland, Great Britain, Malaysia, India,
what will happen next. People in other societies Philippines, United States, Canada
are more comfortable with uncertainty.
Power: Societies with a more centralized power Malaysia, Guatemala, Panama, Philippines, Austria, Israel, Denmark, New Zealand, Ireland,
distribution generally value greater power Mexico, Venezuela, Arab countries, Ecuador, Sweden, Norway, Finland, Switzerland, Great
differences between people; people in such Indonesia, India Britain
societies are generally more accepting of fewer
people having authority and power than are people
from societies in which power is more decentralized.
Time: People in societies with a long-term China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Japan, Vietnam, Pakistan, the Czech Republic, Nigeria, Spain,
orientation to time tend to value perseverance South Korea, Brazil, India, Thailand, Hungary, Philippines, Canada, Zimbabwe, Great Britain,
and thrift. People in societies with a short-term Singapore, Denmark, Netherlands United States, Portugal, New Zealand
orientation to time value both the past and the
present, tradition, saving “face,” and spending
rather than saving.
trust. Research suggests that culture has a direct effect on how we communicate with
intercultural communication
one another.60 When we communicate with people who have different cultural back- Communication between or among
grounds than our own, we tend to share less information with them than we do with people who have different cultural
people who share our cultural heritage.61 traditions.
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
98 Part One Interpersonal Communication Foundations
Relating to Others
Making Intercultural E-Connections
in the 21st Century
You don’t have to travel the globe to com- when we’re interacting face to face. It can • Use “small talk” and comments about
municate with people who live on the other be even more challenging communicating the weather, what your typical day is
side of the world. It’s increasingly likely that electronically with others who have different like, and other low-level disclosures to
you will interact electronically with others cultural perspectives than you do. build a relationship. Then look for recip-
who have cultural or ethnic perspectives dif- Here are some tips and strategies for rocal responses from your communica-
ferent from yours. Research suggests that enriching electronic intercultural connec- tion partner that indicate a relationship
you or one or more of your work colleagues tions with others. is naturally evolving.
will work in an international location: Ac- • Summarize and paraphrase messages
• If you are communicating with some-
cording to a Business Week survey, most that you receive more often than you
one who is from a high-context culture
workers thought that by 2017 they would might normally, in order to increase
(such as someone from Japan or
have a colleague with whom they would the accuracy of message content.
another Asian country) in which non-
work closely but who lived in another coun-
verbal messages are especially impor- • Remember the difference between
try.62 Social networking sites like Facebook
tant and you are using a leaner your time zone and the other person’s
or MySpace, as well as other Internet-based
communication medium such as text- time zone.
or phone-based connections, make it easy
ing, consider providing more explicit
to interact with international friends and col- • If you find a relationship is awkward or
references to your feelings and emo-
leagues. As more companies are outsourc- you notice an increase in conflict, use
tions by using emoticons or more ex-
ing customer service to international the richest medium you can—use the
plicitly stating your feelings and
venues, it’s also increasingly likely that you phone instead of texting or sending
emotional reactions to messages.
may be speaking to someone in another e-mail, or use a web cam instead of
country when making a call about a problem • Consider asking more questions than the phone. If you’re merely sharing
with your computer or your TV or some you normally would if you were inter- routine, noncontroversial information,
other customer-service need. It’s challeng- acting face to face to clarify meanings a lean medium (such as texting)
ing enough bridging cultural differences and the interpretation of messages. should be fine.
Ethnocentrism
All good people agree,
And all good people say,
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Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
nice people like Us, are We. . . .” They find comfort in the familiar
and often denigrate or distrust others. Of course, with training or
experience in other climes, they may learn to transcend their
provincialism, placing themselves in others’ shoes. Or, as Kipling
put it,
. . . if you cross over the sea,
Instead of over the way,
You may end by (think of it!)
Looking on We
As only a sort of They.
In a real sense, a main lesson of intercultural communica-
tion is to begin to “cross over the sea,” to learn to understand
why other people think and act as they do and to be able to
empathize with their perspectives.64
Marilyn had always been intrigued by Russia. Her dream
was to travel the country by train, spending time in small vil-
lages as well as exploring the cultural riches of Moscow, Pyati-
gorsk, and St. Petersburg. Her first day in Russia was a
disappointment, however. When she arrived in Moscow, she
joined a tour touting the cultural traditions of Russia. When the
tour bus stopped at Sparrow Hills, affording the visitors a Colorful celebrations like this local festival in Bali can
breathtaking hilltop view of the Moscow skyline, she was per- reinforce healthy ethnic pride. But if ethnic pride is taken
to extremes, the resulting ethnocentrism may act as a
plexed and mildly shocked to see a woman dressed in an elegant barrier between groups.
wedding gown mounted on horseback and galloping through
the parking lot. Men in suits were cheering her on as a crowd of tipsy revelers set off
fireworks and danced wildly to a brass band. “What kind of people are these?” sniffed
Marilyn.
“Oh,” said the tour guide, “it is our custom to come here to celebrate immedi-
ately following the wedding ceremony.”
“But in public, with such raucousness?” queried Marilyn.
“It is our tradition,” said the guide.
“What a backward culture. They’re nothing but a bunch of peasants!” pro-
nounced Marilyn, who was used to more refined nuptial celebrations at a country
club or an exclusive hotel. ethnocentrism Belief that your
For the rest of the tour, Marilyn judged every Russian behavior as inferior to that cultural traditions and assumptions
of Westerners. That first experience colored her perceptions, and her ethnocentric are superior to those of others.
view served as a barrier to effective interpersonal communication with the Russian
people she met. BEING Other-ORIENTED
Ethnocentrism stems from a conviction that our own cultural traditions and as- Most people are ethnocentric
sumptions are superior to those of others. It is the opposite of an other-orientation to some degree. But extreme
that embraces and appreciates the elements that give another culture meaning. This ethnocentrism can be a major
kind of cultural snobbism is one of the fastest ways to create a barrier that inhibits interpersonal communication
barrier. What symptoms may
rather than enhances communication.
indicate when an ethnocentric
The concept of ethnocentrism is not new. One hundred years ago, W. G. Sumner mindset may be interfering with
defined it as “the technical name of this view of things in which one’s own group is the the quality of communication
center of everything and all others are scaled and rated with reference to it.”65 Many with another person? What are
scholars have found that virtually all cultural groups are ethnocentric to some examples of comments that
might signal that someone
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66
degree. Some even argue that it’s not always bad to see one’s own cultural group as
believes his or her cultural
superior; an ethnocentric tendency enhances group pride and patriotism and encour- approaches are superior to
ages cultural traditions.67 A problem occurs, however, when a group views its own another person’s culture?
preferences as always the best way. Extreme ethnocentrism creates a barrier between
the group and others. 99
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
100 Part One Interpersonal Communication Foundations
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Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
Chapter 4 Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting to Others 101
The following measure of ethnocentrism was developed by com- _____ 12. I have little respect for the values and customs of
munication researchers James Neuliep and James McCroskey. other cultures.
Answer the following questions honestly. _____ 13. Most people would be happier if they lived like
people in my culture.
Directions: This instrument is composed of twenty-four state-
_____ 14. People in my culture have just about the best
ments concerning your feelings about your culture and other cul-
lifestyles of anywhere.
tures. In the space provided to the left of each item, indicate the
degree to which the statement applies to you by marking _____ 15. My culture is backward compared with most
whether you (5) strongly agree, (4) agree, (3) are neutral, (2) dis- other cultures.
agree, or (1) strongly disagree with the statement. There are no _____ 16. My culture is a poor role model for other cultures.
right or wrong answers. Work quickly and record your first re- _____ 17. Lifestyles in other cultures are not as valid as
sponse. those in my culture.
_____ 1. Most other cultures are backward compared with _____ 18. My culture should try to be more like other cul-
my culture. tures.
_____ 2. People in other cultures have a better lifestyle than _____ 19. I’m very interested in the values and customs of
we do in my culture. other cultures.
_____ 3. Most people would be happier if they didn’t live like _____ 20. Most people in my culture just don’t know what is
people do in my culture. good for them.
_____ 4. My culture should be the role model for other _____ 21. People in other cultures could learn a lot from
cultures. people in my culture.
_____ 5. Lifestyles in other cultures are just as valid as those _____ 22. Other cultures are smart to look up to my culture.
in my culture. _____ 23. I respect the values and customs of other
_____ 6. Other cultures should try to be more like my cultures.
culture. _____ 24. People from other cultures act strange and un-
_____ 7. l’m not interested in the values and customs of usual when they come into my culture.
other cultures.
Scoring: To determine your ethnocentrism, reverse your score
_____ 8. It is not wise for other cultures to look up to my
for items 2, 3, 5, 8, 9, 11, 15, 16, 18, 19, 20, and 23. For these
culture.
items, 5 = 1, 4 = 2, 3 = 3, 2 = 4, and 1 = 5. That is, if your original
_____ 9. People in my culture could learn a lot from people score was a 5, change it to a 1. If your original score was a 4,
in other cultures. change it to a 2, and so forth. Once you have reversed your
_____ 10. Most people from other cultures just don’t know score for these twelve items, add up all twenty-four scores. This
what’s good for them. is your generalized ethnocentrism score. Scores greater than 80
_____ 11. People from my culture act strange and unusual indicate high ethnocentrism. Scores of 50 and below indicate
when they go into other cultures. low ethnocentrism.
Source: J. W. Neuliep and J. C. McCroskey, “The Development of a U.S. and Generalized Ethnocentrism Scale,”
Communication Research Reports 14 (1997): 393.
These statements are stereotypes. They are all inaccurate. As we discussed in Chapter 3, to
stereotype someone is to push him or her into an inflexible, all-encompassing category.
Our tendency to simplify sensory stimuli can lead us to adopt stereotypes as we interpret stereotype To place a person or
and label the behavior of others.71 As we also noted in Chapter 3, there is evidence that we group of persons into an inflexible,
thin slice—make judgments about others in just seconds based on nonverbal cues. One all-encompassing category.
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
102 Part One Interpersonal Communication Foundations
study found that after viewing just 20 seconds of silent videotape, subjects made stereotyp-
ical, biased racial judgments of others.72 Stereotypes become a barrier to effective intercul-
tural communication when we fail to consider the uniqueness of individuals, groups, or
events. Two anthropologists suggest that every person is, in some respects, (1) like all other
people, (2) like some other people, and (3) like no other people.73 The challenge when
meeting others is to sort out how they are alike and how they are unique.
Can stereotypes play any useful role in interpersonal communication? It may some-
times be appropriate to draw on stereotypes, or generalizations drawn from limited in-
stances. If, for example, you are alone and lost in a large city at two o’clock in the morning
and another car aggressively taps your rear bumper, it would be prudent to try to drive
away as quickly as possible, rather than to hop out of your car to make a new acquain-
tance. You would be wise to pre-judge that the other driver might have some malicious in-
tent. In most situations, however, prejudice—a judgment or opinion of someone formed
on the basis of stereotypes or before you know all the facts—inhibits effective communica-
tion, especially if your labels are inaccurate or assume superiority on your part.74
Communication author and consultant Leslie Aguilar notes that whether or not
we intend to perpetuate stereotypes and prejudice, we do so in seemingly innocent
ways.75 Here are some of the ways we may inadvertently stereotype others: telling
jokes (“Have you heard the one about the minister and the rabbi?”); using labels
(she’s a real “blue hair” or he’s “trailer trash”) or rigid descriptions (“crotchety old
man” or “bad woman driver”); making assumptions (assuming, for example, that a
woman’s career is less important than a man’s career, that men are insensitive, or that
women are physically weak); relying on “spokesperson syndrome” (“Don, what do
Hispanic people think about this topic?”); or making statistical overgeneralizations
(“Statistics show that Chinese do well in math”).
Certain prejudices are widespread. Although there are slightly more females than
males in the world, one study found that even when a male and a female hold the
same type of job, the male’s job is considered more prestigious than the female’s.76
Today, gender and racial discrimination in hiring and promotion is illegal in the
United States. But some people’s opinions have not kept pace with the law.
Assuming Similarities
Just as it is inaccurate to assume that all people who belong to another social group or
class are worlds apart from you, it is usually erroneous to assume that others act and
think just as you do. Cultural differences do exist. Research and our own observations
support the commonsense conclusion that people from different cultural and ethnic
backgrounds do speak and behave differently.77 Even if they appear to be like you, all
people are not alike. Although this statement is not profound, it has profound
implications. People often make the mistake of assuming that others value the same
things they do, maintaining a self-focused perspective instead of an other-oriented
one. As you saw in Chapter 3, focusing on superficial factors such as appearance,
clothing, and even a person’s occupation can lead to false impressions. Instead, you
must take the time to explore a person’s background and cultural values before you
can determine what you really have in common.
Assuming Differences
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Although it may seem to contradict what we just noted about assuming similarities, an-
other barrier to intercultural communication is to automatically assume that another per-
prejudice A judgment or opinion
of someone, formed before you
son is different from you. It can be just as detrimental to communication to assume
know all of the facts or the someone is different from you as it is to assume that others are similar to you. The fact is,
background of that person. human beings do share common experiences, while at the same time there are differences.
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
Chapter 4 Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting to Others 103
The point of noting that humans have similarities as well as differences is not to BEING Other-ORIENTED
diminish the role of culture as a key element that influences communication, but to
We build bridges with others
recognize that despite cultural differences, we are all members of the human family. who are different from us when
The words communication and common resemble one another. We communicate ef- we can identify something we
fectively and appropriately when we can connect to others based on what we hold in may have in common with
common. Identifying common cultural issues and similarities can also help us estab- them. Can you think of times
lish common ground with others. when you’ve been
communicating with someone
How are we all alike? Cultural anthropologist Donald Brown has compiled a list who was quite different from
of hundreds of “surface” universals of behavior and language use that have been iden- you, but you sought to identify
tified. According to Brown, people in all cultures78 something you both had in
common? What are some
● Have beliefs about death. common human experiences
that can create bridges as we
● Have a childhood fear of strangers. seek to establish common
● Divide labor on the basis of sex. ground with others?
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
104 Part One Interpersonal Communication Foundations
you and another person fundamentally differ, identifying a larger common value—
such as the value of peace, prosperity, or the importance of family—can help you find
a foothold so that the other person will at least listen to your ideas. It’s useful, we be-
lieve, not just to categorize our differences but also to explore how human beings are
similar to one another. Discovering how we are alike can provide a starting point for
human understanding. Yes, we are all different, but we share things in common as
well. Communication effectiveness is diminished when we assume we’re all different
from one another in every aspect, just as communication is affected negatively if we
assume we’re all alike.83 We’re more complicated than that.
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
Chapter 4 Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting to Others 105
Do all of us experience and express emo- Other researchers have reached a dif- Why is it important to know whether
tions in the same way? The question of ferent conclusion.90 When critically exam- emotional expression and interpretation
whether there are universal emotions or ining the evidence of Paul Ekman and are common to all humans or are learned,
universal ways of expressing emotions others, they have found that culture does just as other elements of culture are
has been studied and debated by schol- play an important role in determining how learned? If there are indeed universal hu-
ars for decades. facial expressions are displayed and inter- man attributes common to all people,
One widely debated analysis, devel- preted.91 There is some evidence, for ex- their existence provides powerful addi-
oped by psychologist Robert Plutchik and ample, that people from collectivistic tional evidence for the theory of evolu-
shown in Figure 4.1, suggests that there cultures are socialized to not express tion. It also has implications for the
are eight primary human emotions: joy, emotions that would disrupt harmony in development of a truly human theory of
acceptance, fear, surprise, sadness, dis- the group. Specifically, people with col- communication.
gust, anger, and anticipation.87 These lectivist values may work harder at regu- So are there universal expressions
eight primary emotions can combine to lating how they express such emotions as and interpretations of human emotions?
produce eight secondary emotions. Al- anger, contempt, and disgust—emotions Among experts, consensus is emerging
though not all researchers agree that the that would hinder group peace.92 And that all humans have in common a biolog-
eight primary emotions are the definitive people from individualistic cultures may ically based tendency to express emo-
set of human emotions, a host of scholars feel that they have greater cultural license tions, while cultural differences exist in
argue that yes, there is a set of basic emo- to express these emotions more freely. how some emotions are interpreted.
tions that all humans experience.88 They
believe that through the biological process
Submission
of evolution, all humans have a core set of
emotional experiences. The debate about e
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Develop Knowledge
Knowledge is power. To increase your knowledge of others who are different from
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you, we suggest that you actively seek information about others, ask questions and lis-
ten for the answers, and establish common ground.
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
106 Part One Interpersonal Communication Foundations
Because seeking information helps manage the uncertainty and anxiety that we may
feel when we interact with people who are different from us.93 Sometimes we feel un-
comfortable in intercultural communication situations because we just don’t know
how to behave. We aren’t sure what our role should be; we can’t quite predict what will
happen when we communicate with others because we’re in a new or strange situation.
Seeking new information can help counter inaccurate information and prejudice.
As we’ve noted, every person has a worldview based on cultural beliefs about the
universe and key issues such as death, God, and the meaning of life.94 These beliefs
shape our thoughts, language, and behavior. Only through intercultural communica-
tion can we hope to understand how each individual views the world. As you speak to
a person from another culture, think of yourself as a detective watching for implied,
often unspoken messages that provide information about the values, norms, roles,
and rules of that person’s culture.
You can also prepare yourself by studying the culture. If you are going to another
country, courses in the history, anthropology, art, or geography of that place can give
you a head start on communicating with understanding. Learn not only from books
and magazines, but also from individuals whenever possible.
Given the inextricable link between language and culture, the more you learn about
another language, the more you will understand the traditions and customs of the cul-
ture. Politicians have long known the value of using even a few words of their con-
stituents’ language. President Kennedy impressed and excited a crowd in Berlin by
proclaiming, “Ich bin ein Berliner” (“I am a Berliner”). Even though his diction was less
than perfect, he conveyed the message that he identified with his listeners. Speaking even
a few words can signify your interest in learning about the language and culture of others.
Create a “Third Culture.” Several researchers suggest that one of the best ways to
enhance understanding when communicating over a period of time with someone from
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a different cultural background is to develop a third culture. This is created when the
third culture Common ground
communication partners join aspects of separate cultures to create a third, “new” culture
established when people from
separate cultures create a third, that is more comprehensive and inclusive than either of the two separate cultures.96
“new,” more comprehensive and According to one intercultural communication researcher, F. L. Casmir, a third-
inclusive culture. culture approach to enhancing the quality of intercultural communication occurs
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
Chapter 4 Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting to Others 107
When Ken and Rita visited Miami from Peoria, they asked their hotel concierge
to direct them to a church of their faith, and they wound up at one with a predomi- relational empathy Essence of
a relationship that permits varying
nantly Haitian congregation. They were not prepared for the exuberant chanting and degrees of understanding, rather than
verbal interchanges with the minister during the sermon. They weren’t certain requiring complete comprehension
whether they should join in or simply sit quietly and observe. Ken whispered to Rita, of another’s culture or emotions.
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
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108 Part One Interpersonal Communication Foundations
“I’m not sure what to do. Let’s just watch and see what is expected of us.” In the end,
they chose to sit and clap along with the chanting rather than to become actively in-
volved in the worship. Rita felt uncomfortable and conspicuous, though, and had to
fight the urge to bolt. But after the service, several members of the congregation came
up to greet Ken and Rita, invited them to lunch, and expressed great happiness in
their visit. “You know,” said Rita later in the day, “I’m so grateful that we sat through
our discomfort. We might never have met those terrific people. Now I understand
why their worship is so noisy—they’re just brimming with joy.”
Be Mindful. “Our life is what our thoughts make it,” said Marcus Aurelius in
Meditations. As we noted in Chapter 3, to be mindful is to be consciously aware of
what you are doing, thinking, and sensing. With regard to cultural differences, to be
mindful is to acknowledge that there is a connection between thoughts and deeds
when you interact with a person from a background different from your own. William
Gudykunst suggests that being mindful is one of the best ways to approach any new
cultural encounter.100 Remember that there are and will be cultural differences, and
try to keep them in your consciousness. Also try to consider the other individual’s
frame of reference, or worldview, and to use his or her cultural priorities and assump-
tions when you are communicating.101 Adapt your behavior to minimize cultural
noise and distortion.
You can become more mindful through self-talk, something we discussed in
Chapter 2. Self-talk consists of messages you tell yourself to help you manage your
emotions or discomfort with a certain situation. Imagine that you are working on a
group project with several classmates. One classmate, Suji, was born in Iran. When in-
teracting with you, he consistently stands about a foot away from you, whereas you
are more comfortable with three or four feet between you. When Suji encroaches on
your space, you could be mindful of the reason for this behavior by mentally noting,
“Suji sure likes to get close to people when he talks to them. This may be how they do
things in his culture.” This self-talk message makes you consciously aware that there
may be a difference in your interaction styles. If you still feel uncomfortable, instead
of blurting out, “Hey, man, why so close?” you could express your own preferences
with an “I” message: “Suji, I’d prefer a bit more space between us when we talk.”
mindful Aware of cultural The kind of ethnocentrism that underlies judgments like these is a communication
differences and the connection barrier. It is also an underlying cause of suspicion and mistrust and, in extreme cases,
between thoughts and deeds in
one’s interactions with someone a spark that ignites violence. Instead of making judgments about another culture, try
from a background different from simply to acknowledge differences and to view them as interesting challenges rather
one’s own. than as obstacles to be eradicated.
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
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Chapter 4 Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting to Others 109
UNDERSTANDING OTHERS
Tao: A Universal Moral Code
Adapting to Differences
It’s clear that there are cultural differences their religious beliefs, cultural back- 5. The Law of Justice: Honor the basic
among the world’s people and that these ground, or government structure. He sug- human rights of others; each person
differences have existed since there have gested that the existence of Natural Laws, is of worth.
been people. Anthropologists and commu- or what he called a Tao—a universal 6. The Law of Good Faith and Veracity:
nication scholars who study intercultural moral code—informs human ethical deci- Keep your promises, and do not lie.
communication teach us the value of sions. In his book The Abolition of Man, 7. The Law of Mercy: Be compassionate
adapting to cultural differences in order to Lewis presented eight universal princi- to those less fortunate than you are.
understand others better. But are there any ples, or laws.103 He did not claim that all
8. The Law of Magnanimity: Avoid unnec-
universal values that are or have been em- societies have followed these laws—
essary violence against other people.
braced by all humans? The question is not many of them have been clearly violated
a new one; scholars, theologians, and and continue to be violated today—but he To support his argument that these are
many others have debated for millennia did suggest they provide a bedrock of val- universal values, Lewis offered quotations
whether there are any universal underpin- ues against which all societies may be from several well-known sources, including
nings for all human societies. In Chapter 3 measured. Here are his eight laws: religious, historical, and political writings,
we noted that social psychologists both contemporary and centuries old. Lewis
1. The Law of General Beneficence: Do
Penelope Brown and Stephen Levinson implied that these eight laws may be viewed
not murder, be dishonest, or take from
suggest that people from all cultures have as a universal Bill of Rights, and that they
others what does not belong to us.
a universal need to be treated with polite- constitute an underlying set of principles
2. The Law of Special Beneficence: that either implicitly or explicitly guide all civ-
ness.102 Are there other needs and values
Value your family members. ilized society. Do you agree? Is it useful to
that all humans share? To uncover such
commonalities is to develop a truly human 3. Duties to Parents, Elders, and Ances- search for underlying principles of human-
communication theory rather than a theory tors: Especially hold your parents, ness? Despite cultural differences, are there
that applies to a specific cultural context. those who are a generation older than underlying values or principles that should
C. S. Lewis, a British scholar, author, you, and your ancestors with special inform our interactions with others? Is there
and educator who taught at both Oxford honor and esteem. truly a universal human theory of communi-
University and Cambridge University, ar- 4. Duties to Children and Posterity: We cation? Or might it do more harm than good
gued that there are universal ethical and have a special obligation to respect to suggest that universal principles underlie
moral principles that undergird all soci- the rights of the young and to value what it means to behave and communicate
eties of civilized people, regardless of those who will come after us. appropriately and effectively?
Develop Skill
To be skilled is to be capable of putting into action what you know and want to achieve.
The skills underlying being interculturally competent are the ability to be flexible, to be
other-oriented, and to adapt your communication to others. We discuss these crucial skills
as an introduction to the communication skills that we present in the next four chapters.
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
It’s important to be flexible in your responses to other cultures
and people with different backgrounds. Traveling in other
countries can hone your intercultural communication skills.
African American, gay, lesbian, or from a rural community, you may be weary of
someone asking what “you people” think about a particular issue, as if you spoke for
all members of your cultural or co-cultural group. Because each person is unique, it’s
important to treat each person not as a representative of a monolithic group, but as
someone with a distinct perspective.
The skill of observing and responding with creative flexibility enhances your inter-
cultural competence. It also calls on your ability to do a variety of things simultaneously.
While you’re listening to someone, you’re also adapting your behavior to respond to the
person’s cultural expectations. To multitask takes both creativity and flexibility. There is
evidence that as you gain experience and skill in interacting with people from other cul-
tural backgrounds, you develop an expanded repertoire of behaviors to enhance your
intercultural competence. Research further suggests that the amount of culture shock
you experience when communicating with someone from a different culture decreases
as you develop skills in interacting with people from that culture.104
How do you develop these skills? By developing the knowledge, motivation, and
behaviors that enhance the quality of your relationships with others. You’ll need to
pay close attention to the other person’s nonverbal cues when you begin conversing
(Is the person attentive? Does the person look interested? Confused?); then adjust
your communication style and language, if necessary, to put the person at ease. Listen
and respond and, if necessary, as we noted earlier, create a new culture—a third
culture—to forge a new way of interacting. You may, for example, prefer direct eye
contact when you speak with another person, but someone from a different culture
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may prefer less direct eye contact. So you may need to modify the amount of eye con-
tact you have with that person. As communication researchers Kathy Domenici and
Stephen Littlejohn advocate, “Good intercultural communication requires a certain
creativity, an ability to create new forms that bridge established cultural patterns.”105
110
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
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Chapter 4 Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting to Others 111
Don’t go on “automatic pilot” when interacting with anyone—but, especially people BEING Other-ORIENTED
from a different cultural context.
Being other-oriented does not
mean becoming a “wishy-
Become Other-Oriented. Throughout the book, we have emphasized the washy” person who only says
importance of becoming other-oriented—focusing on others rather than yourself—as or does what the other person
an important way to enhance your interpersonal competence.106 We have also dis- wants. When you are other-
cussed the problems ethnocentrism can create when you attempt to communicate oriented, you maintain your
own sense of ethics and values
with others, especially with people whose culture differs from yours. while considering the needs
Although our focus in this discussion is on how to increase other-orientation in in- and interests of others. Identify
tercultural interactions, the principles apply to all interpersonal interactions. The major situations in which you have
difference between intercultural interactions and those that occur within your own cul- thought about what another
ture is primarily the obviousness of the differences between you and the other person. person might want, yet have
mindfully chosen to do
To become other-oriented is to do two things: first, to take into account another something contrary to what
person’s thoughts and perspective, and second, to consider what the other person may the other person may have
be experiencing emotionally. These are skills we’ve emphasized before. The first skill is wanted. Do you think you
called social decentering. The second skill is empathy. can be other-oriented but
Social decentering is a cognitive process in which you take into account the other not always do what another
person wants you to do?
person’s thoughts, values, background, and overall perspective. The greater the differ-
ence between you and another person, the more difficult it is to accomplish social de-
centering. As you meet someone from a different culture, ask yourself, “What might social decentering Cognitive
this person be thinking right now?” Of course, since you’re not a mind reader, you process in which we take into
won’t be able to know definitively what someone is thinking. But you can think about account another person’s thoughts,
feelings, values, background, and
what most people that you know might be thinking, or draw on your own experi- perspective.
ences. But keep the other person’s worldview and cultural values in mind as you make
inferences about his or her cognitive perspective. After considering his or her cogni- empathy Emotional reaction that
is similar to the reaction being
tive point of view, consider what the person may be experiencing emotionally. experienced by another person;
Empathy is an emotional reaction that is similar to the one being experienced by empathizing is feeling what
another person.107 Empathy is about emotions, whereas social decentering is about another person is feeling.
What are the typical norms and rules that you expect when com- Norms and rules regarding typical times for daily meals:
municating with people in your own cultural and ethnic group in _________________________________________________________
the following situations? _________________________________________________________
Norms and rules regarding punctuality at meetings:
Norms and rules regarding appropriate use of someone’s first
_________________________________________________________ name:
_________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________
Norms and rules regarding greetings between good friends: _________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________ Share your answers with your classmates. Note the similari-
_________________________________________________________ ties and differences in your responses, both among people who
share common cultural and ethnic backgrounds and among peo-
Norms and rules regarding giving and receiving gifts among friends:
ple who have different cultural and ethnic backgrounds.
_________________________________________________________ Which of the skills for enhancing intercultural competence
_________________________________________________________ discussed on pages 109–112 would help you adapt to the differ-
ent rules and expectations?
Norms and rules regarding giving and receiving gifts among
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business associates:
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
112 Part One Interpersonal Communication Foundations
cognitive processes. You develop empathy as you draw on your own experiences (what
you might be feeling), your knowledge of other people in general, and what you know
about the specific person you are interacting with. Some suggest that it’s impossible to
ever experience the emotions of another person with complete confidence and accu-
racy. We agree. But to be empathic is to do your best to put yourself in someone else’s
place emotionally and consider what that person is feeling. Being in touch emotionally
is hard work, and some people are just naturally more empathic toward others.
priately adapt his or her communication behavior. Table 4.2 describes how we adapt
adapting to others. Which
strategies are easiest for you to our verbal messages to others and provides some examples.
use, and which are the most People in conversations also adapt to nonverbal cues. Many times, they raise or lower
challenging for you? voice volume in response to the volume of a partner, or lean toward people in response to
their leaning toward the speaker. We talk more about such nonverbal cues in Chapter 7.
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
Chapter 4 Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting to Others 113
Adapting the Topic and Level of Intimacy of Your Conversation • Talking about a class you both attend
Choosing topics of conversation because of shared interests or things you have • Mentioning an article you read about a TV show your partner really likes
in common with your partner, including sharing information about yourself • Telling someone about your depression because you believe he or she cares
Adapting How You Explain or Describe Something • Telling a story about Ike, whom your partner doesn’t know, and
Providing additional information or detail because you recognize that your explaining that Ike is your uncle
communication partner has certain gaps in his or her information • Describing Facebook to your grandparent, who doesn’t know what the
Internet is
• Telling someone, “I know my behavior might seem a little erratic, but I’m
under a lot of pressure at work right now and my parents are on my case”
Adapting by Withholding or Avoiding Information • Not elaborating on the parts of an auto engine when describing a car
Not providing explanations of something your partner already knows; not problem because you know your partner is knowledgeable about cars
providing information to avoid an anticipated undesired reaction from your • Not telling someone you saw his or her lover with someone else because
partner; or not providing information because of a fear of how your partner he or she would be hurt
might potentially use the information (such as sharing the information with • Not mentioning your interest in a mutual friend because you know the
other people) listener would blab about it to the mutual friend
Adapting Your Use of Examples, Comparisons, and Analogies • Describing a person your partner doesn’t know by comparing the person
Choosing messages you believe your partner will find relevant to someone your partner knows
• Explaining roller blading by comparing it to ice skating because your
partner is an avid ice skater
Adapting Through Your Choice of Language • Using formal address in response to status differences: “Thank you,
Choosing or avoiding specific words because of the anticipated effect on your Professor Smith”
partner; consciously selecting words that you believe are understandable to your • Using slang when the relationship is perceived as informal
partner; or using words that have a unique meaning to you and your partner • Using nicknames, inside jokes, or teasing comments with close friends
Source: © Mark V. Redmond, “Interpersonal Content Adaptation in Everyday Interactions,” paper presented at the annual meeting of
the National Communication Association, Boston (2005).
hance the quality of communication, and possesses the skill of being other-oriented.
If you learn the skills and principles we have presented here, will it really make a
difference in your ability to relate to others? Evidence suggests that the answer is yes. A
study by communication researcher Lori Carrell found that students who had been
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
114 Part One Interpersonal Communication Foundations
APPLYING AN OTHER-ORIENTATION
to Diversity: The Platinum Rule
When interacting with someone who be listening to Mozart’s Horn Quintet But is the Platinum Rule always
is dramatically different from you, if in E flat, K. 407. Whether it’s taste in helpful, or even possible? As you
you want to be truly other-oriented, music or food, greeting rituals, or a ponder the virtues and challenges of
you may need to go beyond what is host of other culturally determined becoming other-oriented and adapt-
known to most Westerners as “The behaviors, the ultimate other-oriented ing your communication behavior to
Golden Rule”: “Do unto others as you behavior would be what communica- enhance your intercultural communi-
would have others do unto you.” Or, tion researcher Milton Bennett calls cation competence, consider the fol-
as succinctly stated by the Buddha, the Platinum Rule: Do to others lowing questions:
“Consider others as yourself.” In as they themselves would like to be • Is the Platinum Rule always desir-
Chapter 2 on page 37 we identified treated.110 Rather than treating peo- able? Are there situations when it
additional interpretations of the same ple as you would like to be treated, would be inappropriate to follow the
principle from a variety of religious interact with others the way you think Platinum Rule? Explain your answer.
traditions. But when interacting with they would like to be treated. Accord- • What are some obstacles to apply-
someone who is quite different from ing to Bennett, at its essence, empa- ing the Platinum Rule, especially
you, treating him or her as you’d like thy is “the imaginative, intellectual with people who are culturally dif-
to be treated may not achieve rela- and emotional participation in an- ferent from you?
tional benefits. If you like hip-hop other person’s experience.”111 The • How can the Platinum Rule be use-
music but your friend prefers Mozart, goal, according to Bennett, is to at- ful when you are having a dis-
taking her to a Mos Def concert may tempt to think and feel what another
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Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
STUDY GUIDE
Review, Apply, and Explore
Understanding Diversity: Web Resources
Describing Our Differences http://www.yforum.com Visitors to the National Forum on
(pages 87–93) People’s Differences can ask questions about religion, culture,
gender, ethnicity, sexual preference, or other topics that might
As we increasingly interact and communicate with people who
be too personal or embarrassing to ask someone in person.
are different from us, we must learn ways to appreciate and un-
derstand those differences and to bridge them in our interper-
sonal relationships. Our everyday world presents us with Understanding Culture: Dimensions
differences in gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, age, of Our Mental Software
and social class, all of which can influence how we communi- (pages 93–97)
cate with and relate to others.
Culture is a learned system of knowledge, behaviors, attitudes,
Key Terms beliefs, values, and norms shared by a group of people. Cul-
Sex 88 Ethnicity 90 ture influences how we process information and make sense
Gender 88 Discrimination 91 of the world. Researchers have identified six dimensions com-
Race 90 mon to all cultures they have studied: individualism versus
collectivism, reliance on context, masculinity versus feminin-
Critical Thinking Questions ity, comfort with uncertainty, approach to power, and ap-
1. What type of diversity do you find on campus? In the proach to time.
workplace? In your community? Do you find that you
communicate differently with people from different groups Key Terms
and cultures? Explain. Culture 93 High-context culture 95
Worldview 93 Low-context culture 95
2. How have gender differences played a role in your own
Co-culture 94 Masculine culture 95
communication or interactions with others? Explain.
Enculturation 94 Feminine culture 95
3. Ethics: When Wayne, a Catholic Polish American, went to visit Cultural context 95
Dave, who was from an old Southern Baptist family, Dave’s
dad made a bigoted statement about African Americans. This Critical Thinking Questions
upset Wayne, and he wondered whether Dave’s father was
1. Name the co-cultures to which you belong. Would you de-
prejudiced against Catholics, too. Should Wayne have spoken
scribe your co-cultures as low- or high-context, masculine or
up and told Dave’s dad that he did not like the remark? What
feminine? Explain. What beliefs and norms characterize these
would be the best way to approach such a discussion?
co-cultures? What does your culture or co-culture value?
Activities 2. Ethics: Is it ethical or appropriate for someone from one
culture to attempt to change the cultural values of someone
How well do you think you could predict someone’s reactions to
from a different culture? For example, consider the case in
finding out that a parent or another close relative had just died?
which children living on a Texas ranch owned by a polyga-
Rank-order each of the following from 1 (the person whose reac-
mous religious sect were taken from their families for sus-
tion you could predict most confidently) to 6 (the person whose
pected abuse, which was in the news in 2008: Is it right for
reaction you’d be least confident about predicting).
others to attempt to make someone from another culture
a. ______ A close friend of your own sex, age, race, and cul-
or with a different value system change his or her ways?
tural background
b. ______ A sixty-year-old male Chinese farmer Activities
c. ______ A college student twenty years older than you, Bring to class a fable, folktale, or children’s story from a culture
but of your own race, sex, and cultural background other than your own. As a group, analyze the cultural values
d. ______ A ten-year-old girl from California who is the implied by the story or characters in the story.
daughter of Asian and Latino parents
e. ______ A college student of a different race but your Barriers to Effective Intercultural
own age, cultural background, and sex
Communication and Improving
f. ______ A college student of the opposite sex but your
Intercultural Communication
own age, race, and cultural background
Competence
ISBN 0-558-82929-5
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
116 Part One Interpersonal Communication Foundations
the greater the potential for misunderstanding and miscommuni- 2. Jonna, an American, has just been accepted as a foreign ex-
cation. Different communication codes, including different lan- change student in Germany. What potential cultural barri-
guages and interpretations of verbal and nonverbal messages, can ers may she face? How should she manage these potential
be barriers to effective communication with those from cultures barriers?
different from our own. Likewise, an ethnocentric view that one’s 3. Ethics: What are appropriate ways to deal with someone
own culture is superior to others can be a barrier. You can im- who consistently utters racial slurs and displays prejudice
prove your intercultural communication competence by develop- toward racial and ethnic groups?
ing knowledge about others, developing motivation to understand
others, and developing skill and adapting your communication Activities
and behavior with others in appropriate ways.
In small groups, identify examples from your own experiences
of each barrier to effective intercultural communication dis-
Key Terms cussed in the text. Use one of the examples as the basis for a skit
Intercultural communication 97 Relational empathy 107 to perform for the rest of the class. See whether the class can
Culture shock 98 Mindful 108 identify which intercultural barrier your group is depicting.
Ethnocentrism 99 Social decentering 111 Also, suggest how the skills and principles discussed in the
Stereotype 101 Empathy 111 chapter might have improved the communication in the situa-
Prejudice 102 Adapt 112 tion you role-play.
Intercultural communication Communication accommodation
competence 104 theory 112
Motivation 104 Adapt predictively 112
Web Resources
Skill 104 Adapt reactively 112 http://chocd.umsl.edu The Center for Human Origin and
Third culture 106 Cultural Diversity provides suggestions for the development of
social justice and cultural awareness curricula.
Critical Thinking Questions
1. What is the problem in assuming that other people are like
us? How does this create a barrier to effective intercultural
communication?
ISBN 0-558-82929-5
Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, Sixth Edition, by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe and Mark V. Redmond. Published by Allyn & Bacon.
Copyright © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.