BOOK CLUB GUIDE

C HIP HEATH & DAN HEATH

A resource for the book THE POWER OF MOMENTS

© 2017 by Chip Heath and Dan Heath.

Ask before distributing: [email protected]
 THE POWER OF
MOMENTS
BOOK CLUB GUIDE

INTRODUCTION
Chapters 1 & 2: Defining Moments and Thinking in Moments

1. Start your book club by asking each person to share one positive defining
moment from their lives. It need not be a big, life-shaping moment like get-
ting married or giving birth—it could be a smaller moment that you’ve never
forgotten. [Note: Be patient with this part. It might well take 15-20 minutes
to share these stories, but it’s worth it!]
Do you feel these moments owe more to serendipity or to the conscious effort
by you or someone else to create them?

2. On pages 6-7, the Heath brothers describe a hypothetical day at Disney. The
“average” of the ratings was 6.5, but in memory, it felt more like a 9. Similarly,
at the Magic Castle Hotel, many of the hotel’s amenities are unimpressive, but
people look back on the experience with great fondness because of moments
like the Popsicle Hotline. Have you had an experience like this, where the mo-
ment-by-moment experience may have been mixed (or even negative), but
in memory you remember it fondly? Describe the experience you’re thinking
about.

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3. Think of a recent service experience: a flight, a customer service call, a hotel
stay, a doctor visit, a restaurant meal. Was there a “peak” or a “pit” moment
that stands out in your memory? What was it?

4. Talk about the “treasure chest” you keep in your house (if you do). Where is
it? Tell the group about 3 particular items that are in your collection. Which of
the 4 categories of defining moments (elevation, insight, pride, connection) do
they reflect?

5. What do you remember about the first day at your most recent job? Was it
closer to the underwhelming hypothetical example that starts the chapter—or
closer to the John Deere First Day Experience?

6. In Chapter 2, in the context of the “reverse wedding” story, the Heath

brothers write:

“At the point the widow went to see Doka, she was ready to begin dating again.
And it’s clear that, even if she hadn’t met Doka, she would have started dat-
ing eventually on her own. Maybe it would have taken a month, maybe a year,
maybe five years. And throughout that uncertain time, she would have felt
anxious: Am I ready? Is it “okay” for me to be ready? What the widow in Doka’s
story needed was a landmark moment to capture the transition she was mak-
ing. After that Sunday afternoon ceremony, I was ready. We have a natural hunger
for these landmarks in time.”

What did you think of Kenneth Doka’s suggestion that the widow create a
landmark in time—a “ritual of transition”? Is there someone in your life who
you believe would benefit from a landmark of this kind—a moment that sepa-
rates “Old Me” from “New Me”? Or, alternatively, was there a time in your life
when such a moment would have given you permission to turn the page more
quickly and confidently than you did?

7. The Heath brothers make the case that there are many “missing moments”
in our lives—that we aren’t paying enough attention to transitions, mile-
stones, and pits. In the first Clinic, they point out all the moments that are
missed by banks—for instance, a customer who closed on a new home could
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be celebrated with a gift, or another who lost a job could be offered a “pause”
on their mortgage. Did any “missing moments” come to mind as you reflected
on this section? Are there opportunities in your organization to create new
defining moments

ELEVATION
Chapters 3 & 4: Build Peaks and Break the Script

1. Jeff Gilbert, the principal of Hillsdale High, said, “We run school like it is
nonstop practice. You never get a game. Nobody would go out for the basket-
ball team if you never had a game. What is the game for the students?” Do you
agree with this sentiment? If you were the principal of a school, what kind of
“games” could you create?

2. In Chapter 3, the Heaths argue that in most service businesses, managers

spend too much time “fixing potholes” and not enough time “building peaks.”
If you work in a service business, does that ring true? Do you think your orga-
nization is guilty of that?

3. Eugene O’Kelly discovers he has three months to live and he sets out to
create as many “Perfect Moments” as he can in his remaining days. What’s
one Perfect Moment you would like to create in the next year with a friend
or loved one? How will you ensure that you won’t fall into this trap: “One day
rolls into the next, and a year goes by, and we still haven’t had that conversa-
tion we always meant to have. Still haven’t created that peak moment for our
students. Still haven’t seen the northern lights. We walk a flatland that could
have been a mountain range.”

4. See page 77 for the discussion of “minimizing negative variance” versus

“maximizing positive variance.” The Heaths write: “In families, so often we are
hustling to ‘minimize negative variance’—getting kids to school on time, man-
aging household chaos, keeping sibling spats under control. But are we focus-
ing as much energy on increasing positive variance from week to week?” Does
this resonate with you—or do you feel like the need to ‘increase positive vari-
ance’ is just one more burden to add to the shoulders of already-busy parents?

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5. What did you think of the concept of the “reminiscence bump”—that pe-
riod from roughly age 15 to 30 when our life is filled with so many “firsts”? If
you are 25 or older, does it bother you that, in some sense, your most memora-
ble days are behind you? Does that idea seem natural and untroubling to you,
or does it make you anxious? (Or are you determined to fight the trend and
ensure that your older years are as memorable as your younger ones?)

6. Reflect on this quote: “We feel most comfortable when things are certain,
but we feel most alive when they’re not.” Does this feel true for you? What’s a
recent time when an uncertain experience made you feel “alive”? (It need not
be something dramatic—perhaps something that was so novel that you expe-
rienced the feeling of time slowing down.)

INSIGHT
Chapters 5 & 6: Trip Over the Truth and Stretch for Insight

1. Have you experienced a “crystallization of discontent” moment in your life?

Share it, if you feel comfortable.

2. Recall the story of Microsoft’s Scott Guthrie, who asked his colleagues to
create an app using their own platform (called Azure). They struggled badly,
which caused them to “trip over the truth.” Tripping over the truth is triggered
by a (1) clear insight; (2) compressed in time; and (3) discovered by the audi-
ence itself. Can you think of a time when you have witnessed this happening?
(For instance, an experience or demonstration that sparked an “aha!” experi-
ence.) Have you ever tried this strategy yourself?

3. Consider the story of Lea Chadwell, who ultimately decided to close the
bakery she had started. From a business perspective, the bakery was a failure.
The Heath brothers argue that for her, it was a success, in the sense that it
boosted her self-insight. Do you agree with this logic? Was there a time in your
life when a failure taught you something about yourself that outweighed the
“defeat”?

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4. [Note: This is a very personal question that may not be appropriate for
every group.] Michael Dinneen was shattered when his patient committed
suicide, but he learned something about himself: I can endure. Have you ever
lived through a difficult or traumatic experience and drawn strength from the
idea that, “If I can survive that, I can survive anything?”

5. Describe the most effective mentor you’ve ever had. Did that person make
you “stretch”? If so, how? The Heaths describe a kind of formula for mentor-
ship: HIGH STANDARDS + ASSURANCE + DIRECTION + SUPPORT = EN-
HANCED SELF-INSIGHT. Did this spark any ideas for how you might chal-
lenge or support the people who rely on you for their growth?

6. Is there an area of life where you would like to “stretch” yourself—that is, to
deliberately expose yourself to a challenge where failure is a very real possibili-
ty—in hopes of learning and growing?

PRIDE
Chapters 7, 8, & 9: Recognize Others, Multiply Milestones, and Practice Cour-
age

1. Think of the story about Kira Sloop (the girl who was told to “mouth the
words” in choir) and Gad Yair’s research on “Cinderellas and Ugly Ducklings.”
Was there a teacher or a mentor who was responsible for a turning point in
your life? What happened?

2. To whom would you most like to send a gratitude letter? Talk about what
that person means to you. (And consider making a “group pact” to send those
letters!)

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3. In the “Multiply Milestones” chapter, the Heaths make fun of the mile-
stone-free way someone might think about learning Spanish: Try to squeeze
in a Spanish study session. Try to squeeze in a Spanish study session. Etc.
Someday, eventually: “Know” Spanish. Do you think you’ve fallen victim to
this trap? Did the chapter spark ideas about how you might create motivating
milestones en route to a goal that is important to you?
(As inspiration, think of the way Scott Ettl reframed his generic interest in
American history into a specific quest to read all the presidential biographies
in order.)

4. If you’re willing, share a moment in your life when you had a chance to be
courageous—and let the moment pass. What were the forces that led you to
stay quiet? Conversely, can you think of a time when someone else’s courage
was contagious for you, stiffening your backbone?

5. Did you agree with Mary Gentile’s assessment that people often know what
the right thing to do is but fail to act on that judgment? Gentile argues that
ethically-problematic situations are often predictable. We can foresee them.
Did one of these potentially-problematic situations come to mind (perhaps
something you’ve seen happen before at work)? Share with the group the sit-
uation you’re anticipating—as well as what you can do to “preload” your re-
sponse.

CONNECTION
Chapters 10 & 11: Create Shared Meaning and Deepen Ties

1. Consider the transformation at Sharp HealthCare led by Sonia Rhodes. The

All-Staff Assembly played a critical role in sparking the change. Yet we’ve all
been part of “all hands” meetings in organizations that were not effective or
inspiring. Why was the All-Staff Assembly different? What made it a defining
moment for the Sharp team?

2. What did you think of the study concluding that “laughter is more about
relationships than humor”? Did that seem right to you? Do you think “social
laughter” has happened during this book club?

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3. The Heath brothers write, “If you want to be part of a group that bonds like
cement, take on a really demanding task that’s deeply meaningful. All of you
will remember it for the rest of your lives.” Have you been part of a group like
this in your life? Share the circumstances and why the work bonded your team
together.

4. [Warning: Don’t do this question with your work teams unless you are really
close.] If you’re currently working, where would you put yourself on Morten
Hansen’s Purpose/Passion grid on page 217? Think about the book’s challenge
to find the contribution you’re making with your work. How would you answer
this question: “Who is the ultimate beneficiary of your work, and how are you
contributing to them?”

5. The parent-teacher visits at Stanton Elementary had extraordinary pow-

er. Yet they were a “drop in the bucket” compared with the hours invested by
teachers, students, and parents. Why do you think they were so effective?

6. Reflect on the role of “responsiveness” in your relationships. What’s some-

thing your partner did recently that you consider very responsive?

7. We all have customer service horror stories. Think about a recent frustrat-
ing experience—preferably one that was pretty small in the scheme of things
and yet made you furious. Do you think the root of your anger was a lack of
responsiveness? If so, which element(s) were missing: understanding, valida-
tion, or caring? If not, what was the root?

8. Mike Elam, in the book, described an experience where he pushed past

small talk with a co-worker and said “it was like ‘peeling an onion’ where we
were going just slightly deeper on each exchange and when finished, we had
moved quite a bit.” Have you had a recent experience like this – i.e., one when
you engaged in the kind of “turn-taking” described at the end of the chapter?

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9. BONUS! Within your book club, split up into pairs and download the app
called 36 Questions. (This is the app version of Art Aron’s research.) Take 15
minutes to complete the first set of 12 questions. Afterward, talk as a group
about how it felt to discuss those questions. Did you learn things you didn’t
know about your partner? Did you want to continue?

CONCLUSION
Chapter 12: Making Moments Matter

1. On page 257, the palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware discussed the five most
common regrets of the people she had come to know. At this point in your life,
which of these feel most “real” to you? Do you worry about having any of these
regrets in the future?

2. Julie Kasten, sitting in her cubicle, had a sudden flash of insight that in-
spired her to find a new career. Later, when meeting with a career counselor,
she had a second flash—I want to do what you do. Have you (or anyone you
know) ever had one of these sudden realizations that sparks a change in jobs
or careers?

3. The final story of the book is about two compassionate nurses who bring a
bowl of snow to a very sick young girl. Their kindness is moving. What is the
kindest thing someone outside your family has ever done for you?

4. What was the story or idea from the book that will stick with you the most?

5. Conclude the discussion by asking everyone present this question: What’s a

moment you want to create for yourself or someone else in the next week?

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