PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

MODULE 4: The Challenges of Middle and Late Adolescence

THE PASSAGE TO ADULTHOOD: CHALLENGES OF LATE ADOLESCENCE
Physical Development

 Most girls have completed the physical changes related to puberty by age 15.

 Boys are still maturing and gaining strength, muscle mass, and height and are completing the
development of sexual traits.

Emotional Development

 May stress over school and test scores.

 Is self-involved (may have high expectations and low self-concept).
 Seeks privacy and time alone.
 Is concerned about physical and sexual attractiveness.
 May complain that parents prevent him or her from doing things independently.
 Starts to want both physical and emotional intimacy in relationships.
 The experience of intimate partnerships

Social Development

 shifts in relationship with parents from dependency and subordination to one that reflects the
adolescent’s increasing maturity and responsibilities in the family and the community,
 Is more and more aware of social behaviors of friends.
 Seeks friends that share the same beliefs, values, and interests.
 Friends become more important.
 Starts to have more intellectual interests.

Mental Development

 Becomes better able to set goals and think in terms of the future.
 Has a better understanding of complex problems and issues.
 Starts to develop moral ideals and to select role models.

ENCOURAGEMENT 101: The Courage to Be Imperfect by Timothy D. Evans, Ph.D.

Encouragement is the key ingredient for improving your relationships with others. It is the single
most important skill necessary for getting along with others – so important that the lack of it could be
considered the primary cause of conflict and misbehavior. Encouragement develops a person’s
psychological hardiness and social interest. Encouragement is the lifeblood of a relationship. And yet, this
simple concept is often very hard to put into practice. Encouragement is not a new idea. Its spiritual
connotation dates back to the Bible in Hebrews 3:11 which states “Encourage one another daily.”
Encouragement, as a psychological idea, was developed by psychiatrist Alfred Adler in the early 20th
century and continued to evolve through the work of Adler’s follower Rudolph Dreikurs. However, even
today, relatively few educators, parents, psychologists, leaders or couples have utilized this valuable
concept. Most of the time, people mistakenly use a technique like praise in an effort to “encourage”
others. Half the job of encouragement lies in avoiding discouraging words and actions. When children or
adults misbehave, it is usually because they are discouraged. Instead of building them up, we tear them
down; instead of recognizing their efforts and improvements, we point out mistakes; instead of allowing
them to belong through shared decision-making and meaningful contributions, we isolate and label them.
Most of us are skilled discouragers. We have learned how to bribe, reward and, when that fails, to punish,
criticize, nag, threaten, interrogate and emotionally withdraw. We do this as an attempt to control those
we love, bolstered by the mistaken belief that we are responsible for the behavior of everyone around us,
especially our spouses and children. These attempts to control behavior create atmospheres of tension
and conflict in many houses.

Most commonly, we discourage in five general ways:

 We set standards that are too high for others to meet because we are overly ambitious.
 We focus on mistakes as a way to motivate change or improved behavior.
 We make constant comparisons (self to others, siblings to one another).
 We automatically give a negative spin to the actions of others.
 We dominate others by being overly helpful, implying that they are unable to do it as well.

Encouragement is not a technique nor is it a special language used to gain compliance. Encouragement
conveys the idea that all human beings are worthwhile, simply because they exist. In one sentence, Mr.
Rogers does more for a child’s sense of adequacy than a hundred instances of praise when he says, “I like
you just the way you are.” Not I like you when you do it well enough, fast enough and get it all correct.
Encouragement develops children’s psychological hardiness -- their ability to function and recover
when things aren’t going their way. Encouragement enhances a feeling of belonging which leads to
greater social interest. Social interest is the tendency for people to unite themselves with other human
beings and to accomplish their tasks in cooperation with others. The Junior League mission of “developing
the potential of women and improving communities through the effective action and leadership of trained
volunteers” is rooted in the idea of social interest.
The first step to becoming an encouraging person is to learn to distinguish encouragement from
discouragement. As a rule, ask yourself: Whatever I say or do, will it bring me closer together or farther
apart from this person? We all have the power to be more encouraging people. The choice, as always, is
yours.
THE POWER OF PERSONAL DECLARATIONS by Dr. Emily De Carlo
So often we accept the declarations that others have made concerning our own lives, well-being or
fate. It is imperative that we recognize that in order to achieve what we want in life, we must not give our
power away to others by accepting their declarations concerning our affairs. When one decides that he or
she will boldly declare good fortune, wellness, joy, etc. relative to his or her life, all of heaven will break
loose! Goodness and mercy shall surely follow. From birth, we are often told what we are going to be.
Sometimes, this is a good thing, but suppose you have been told time and time again that "you will not
amount to anything just like your mother or father"? This is a dangerous declaration because it sets into
motion the actualization of an unwanted occurrence. All of us want to amount to something! In order to
counteract this and all of the negative declarations with their destructive potential, one must consciously
replace them with one's own declarations. In so doing, you are now in control of setting into action what
you really want to occur. You can declare that goodness and mercy shall surely follow you all the days of
your life!
The following are some declarations that you may want to make concerning your life:
I declare: that I am totally free of all addictions.

that I will survive any attempts of others to control my life.

that I am free in my mind, body, and emotions.
that I am free to set goals and reach them.
that I am a loving individual with the capacity to give love.
that I am a child of God with all rights and privileges thereof.
that I will contribute to the welfare of others.
that I will be an ambassador of goodwill to all I meet on the journey.
that I will be a good example for others to follow.
that I will help all that I can to reach their goals.
that I will speak words of encouragement to others.
that I will find the goodness in life and focus on it.
that I will not succumb to the negative influences of others.
that I will read the information that will encourage my personal, and spiritual growth.
that I will commit to being the best I can be.
These declarations are meant to encourage you to take control of the influences in your life. They
are suggestions as to what positive things you can speak about your own life instead of accepting whatever
has been said about you in the past. You now have the authority to plant the seeds of love, encouragement
and victory in your garden, thereby crowding out the weeds of negativity that may already have taken
root! Just as in a garden, you may have to pull and pull until you get some weeds out. Sometimes, the
negative comments and declarations of others have taken such a stronghold in our lives, that we must
persist until we see the bough not only fall, but break into pieces. Don't be discouraged if you don't reach
your goals overnight. Just remember that even a small stream of water will crack concrete eventually!!

BEING HAPPY
You may have defects, be anxious and sometimes live irritated, but do not forget that your life is
the greatest enterprise in the world. Only you can prevent it from going into decadence. There are many
that need you, admire you and love you. I would like to remind you that being happy is not having a sky
without storms, or roads without accidents, or work without fatigue, or relationships without
disappointments. Being happy is finding strength in forgiveness, hope in one’s battles, security at the stage
of fear, love in disagreements. Being happy is not only to treasure the smile, but that you also reflect on
the sadness. It is not just commemorating the event, but also learning lessons in failures. It is not just
having joy with the applause, but also having joy in anonymity. Being happy is to recognize that it is
worthwhile to live, despite all the challenges, misunderstandings and times of crises.
Being happy is not inevitable fate, but a victory for those who can travel towards it with your own
being. Being happy is to stop being a victim of problems but become an actor in history itself. It is not only
to cross the deserts outside of ourselves, but still more, to be able to find an oasis in the recesses of our
soul. It is to thank God every morning for the miracle of life. Being happy is not being afraid of one's
feelings. It is to know how to talk about ourselves. It is to bear with courage when hearing a "no". It is to
have the security to receive criticism, even if is unfair. It is to kiss the children, pamper the parents, have
poetic moments with friends, even if they have hurt us.
Being happy means allowing the free, happy and simple child inside each of us to live; having the
maturity to say, "I was wrong"; having the audacity to say, "forgive me". It is to have sensitivity in
expressing, "I need you"; to have the ability of saying, "I love you." So that your life becomes a garden full
of opportunities for being happy...
In your spring-time, may you become a lover of joy. In your winter, may you become a friend of
wisdom. And when you go wrong along the way, you start all over again. Thus you will be more passionate
about life. And you will find that happiness is not about having a perfect life but about using tears to water
tolerance, losses to refine patience, failures to carve serenity, pain to lapidate pleasure, obstacles to open
the windows of intelligence.
Never give up ... Never give up on the people you love. Never give up from being happy because life is an
incredible show. And you are a special human being!

Unit 1: Self-Development
List of Outputs for Portfolio:
Module 1 1. Talent / Variety Show Presentation (Group work)
2. Journal Reflection from My Banner (Individual work)
Module 2 3. Personal Assessment of Aspects of Development with Plan of Action (Individual work)
4. Personal Recipe for Success with reflection (Individual work)
Module 3 5. My Personal Timeline with Reflection (Individual work)
6. Mindfulness with Reflection (Individual work)
Module 4 7. Role Play on Challenges of Middle Adolescence (Group work)
8. Slogan or Personal Declaration on Being Happy (Individual work)