Sexual Abuse Signs:

Physical signs:

  physical trauma such as redness, rashes, and/or bleeding to oral, genital and/or anal areas

  bruises on breasts, buttocks, lower abdomen, thighs, genital and/or rectal areas

  complaints of pain or itching in genital or anal areas

  difficulty walking or sitting

  unusual or offensive body odours

  difficulty in bladder or bowel control

  constipation

  pain or discomfort on urination

  blood in urine

  abnormal dilation of vaginal or rectal openings

  foreign bodies in vaginal, rectal or urethral openings

  sexually transmitted diseases found vaginally, rectally or orally

  yeast or bacterial infections

  frequent sore throats; difficulty swallowing; choking

  ear infections/problems (see Ear infections as a sign of sexual abuse? at Ask Darlene on
this site for the reason why this can be a sign)

  sudden weight gain or extreme weight loss

  severe psychosomatic complaints such as stomachaches and headaches

Emotional Abuse Signs:

Boys

»  aggression
»  temper tantrums
»  fights with peers and siblings
»  bullying tactics
»  frustrates easily
»  disobedience
»  lying and cheating
»  destructive behaviours
»  impulsive behaviours
»  argumentative
»  loud
»  tease excessively
»  worry excessively
»  withdrawn

Girls

»  withdrawn
»  passive
»  approval-seeking
»  compliant
»  frustrates easily
»  infinite patience
»  clinging to adults
»  overly dependent
»  stubborn
»  tease excessively
»  worry excessively
»  somatic complaints
How Victims Adapt:

The longer the secret continues, the more trapped in

the abuse the child or youth sexual abuse victims
become. Survival means learning to adapt to the abuse in a variety of ways:

¤  sexual abuse victims minimize the abuse by pretending that whatever is happening is not
really bad--this can take the form of a tough sense of humour

¤  they rationalize the abuse by explaining it away--they blame the abuse on the offender's
drinking, drug use, etc.; they develop a twisted sense of love, telling themselves the offender
is showing them love

¤  they deny that the abuse ever took place

FACT:  When children's self reports of sexual abuse were compared to video tapes of the
incident on film apprehended from the perpetrator, it was found that child sexual abuse
victims have a tendency to deny or belittle the experience (Sjoberg & Lindbland, 2002,
pp.312-314 ).
1

¤  sexual abuse victims forget that the abuse ever took place, which is one of the most
common and effective ways children deal with abuse

¤  they label themselves--sexual abuse victims believe they deserve the abuse and that it's
their fault. Nothing can be further from the truth!

¤  they become controlling--sexual abuse victims try to control themselves and others; they
become super-alert and eager to please

Though these coping skills are self-destruction, they are highly effective: they help numb the
pain and get the child or youth through each day.

Some Statistics:

  85% of runaways in Toronto are sexual abuse victims (Conference on Child Victimization
& Child Offending, 2000 ).2

  Adolescents with a history of sexual abuse are significantly more likely than their
counterparts to engage in sexual behaviour that puts them at risk for HIV (Brown et al.,
2000, pp. 1413-1415 ).
3

  A study which inspected the strength of different risk factors for childhood sexual abuse
among 179 pre-adolescent girls found that maternal sexual abuse history combined with
maternal drug use placed daughters at the most elevated risk. Girls whose mothers were
sexual abuse victims were 3.6 times more likely to be victimized (McClosky & Bailey, 2000,
pp. 1019-1036 ).4

  The incidence of child sexual abuse was 1.8 times higher among children with disability
compared to the incidence among children without disability. The most common
disabilities noted included emotional disturbance, learning disability, physical health
problems, and speech or language delay or impairment (Barnett et al., 1997, p. 49 ).
5

  Child sexual abuse victims are ten times more likely to attempt suicide (Conference on
Child Victimization & Child Offending, 2000 ). 6

  Child sexual abuse victims are seven times more likely to become drug/alcohol dependent
(Conference on Child Victimization & Child Offending, 2000 ). 7

Similarities between male and female sexual abuse victims based on a study of 401
child sexual abuse cases:
Sexual Abuse Male Female

¤  threatened with physical harm 51% 37%

¤  physical force used 48% 50%

¤  under 12 years old 81% 70%

¤  under 6 years old 32% 18%

¤  abused over time 43% 47%

¤  multiple offenders 20% 13%

¤  residing with offender 21% 42%

¤  abused by parent or parent surrogate 8% 31%

¤  abused by juveniles 56% 28%

Becker, 1988, p. 1948

Sexual abuse statistics were extremely difficult to obtain until the 1970s when women began
to talk about their childhood experiences.

Since that time, women in staggering numbers have sought help to deal with their childhood
sexual abuse horrors. Men are only beginning to disclose that they too were victims of sexual
abuse as children.
Families have been forced to confront the fact that people they know, love and trust have
committed incestual acts.

Professionals are just beginning to understand the ramifications this childhood sexual abuse
has on the victims.

As a society, we all pay dearly for the victimization of our children and youth; and I'm not
just referring to the physical and mental health consequences of these young people. Sexual
abuse is a significant component of the history behind:

            »  sex offenders
            »  substance abusers
            »  prisoners
            »  prostitutes
            »  runaways

Canadian Sexual Abuse Statistics:

  In one sexual abuse statistics study done by Social Services Agencies in Canada in 1998,
sexual abuse was the primary reason cited in 10% of all child maltreatment investigations
(135,573). 38% of these cases were substantiated (Trocme, Nico & Wolfe, David, 2001, p. 3
and 24 ). 1

  Another sexual abuse statistics study revealed that young women who had not participated
in a school abuse prevention program in childhood were about twice as likely to have
experienced child sexual abuse as those who had participated in a prevention program
(Gibson & Leitenberg, 2000, pp.1115-1125 ). 2

  Child and youth victims who were sexually assaulted by family members were on average
9 years old compared to 12 years old for victims of non-family members (Canadian Centre
for Justice Statistics, 2002 ). 3

  A sexual abuse statistics study done on female prisoners showed that 80% were victims of
childhood physical or sexual abuse (Conference on Child Victimization & Child Offending,
2000 ).
4

  In 30% of 30 occurrences studies, victims of sexual abuse were members of stable, intact
families (B.C. Institute Against Family Violence, 2001, p.3 ).
5

  Cases of sexual abuse have a higher proportion of multiple abusers than do other abuses
(Statistics Canada, 1994, p. 78 ). 6

Some Aboriginal Sexual Abuse Statistics

   75% of Aboriginal girls under the age of 18 were sexually abused; 75% of Aboriginal victims of sex crimes
were females under 18 years of age; 50% were under 14 years of age; almost 25% were younger than 7 years
(Alliance of Five Research Centres on Violence, 19997).

  Clinical and anecdotal evidence suggests that the incidence of sexual abuse among Canada's native peoples is as
high as 80% (Kingsley & Mark, 20008).

  More than 7,000 lawsuits have been filed against the Canadian Federal Government, claiming sexual, physical
and cultural abuse suffered at Residential Schools. Churches and school staff have been named as co-defendants
(Woodard, 20009).

Most sexual abuse disclosures are delayed. And of those children and youth who do disclose,
between 8% and 22% recant true allegations of sexual abuse (Elliot & Briere, 1994 ; 1

Sorenson & Snow, 1991 ). 2

FACT:  Elliot and Briere (1994 ) found that 75% of children did not disclose within a year of
3

the first incident, and 18% waited more than five years.
FACT:  Sorenson and Snow (1991 ) found that almost three-quarters of children studied did
4

not reveal abuse when first questioned.

Adolescence is a time for developing independence. During this time, secrets are often
revealed. But first-time sexual abuse disclosures may sound unconvincing; they are often
riddled with anxieties and inconsistencies. The
coping skills that helped them survive are the very
things that now alter their memory and perceptions.
Add to that, other destructive and delinquent behaviours that child sexual abuse victims may
display, it translates into adults invalidating the disclosure.

Adolescents who disclose may be wracked with guilt, fear, confusion, and anxiety. If adults
invalidate the youth's disclosure, the anxiety is intensified. And even if adults do believe,
often the threats the offender made to the child in order to keep the secret actually come true:
the family splits apart or is divided; the offender is removed from the home (when the
perpetrator is a family member), thereby splitting the family further; the youth's world begins
to fall apart. If there are no supports and effective intervention of the sexual abuse,
adolescents will retract sexual abuse disclosures.

According to Summit (1983 ): The lie "confirms adult expectations that children cannot be
5

trusted. It restores the precarious equilibrium of the family. The children learn not to
complain. The adults learn not to listen" (p.188).

Don't be one of those adults that don't listen:

LISTEN LISTEN then LISTEN some more!

Sexual abuse steals childhood away from children and youth. Regardless of whether the
child/youth is male, female, able-bodied or disabled in some way, sexual abuse destroys the
child's self-esteem and self-worth. They feel profound pain and experience overwhelming
loss. The effects of sexual abuse clearly show that we pay dearly for this pain and loss, as
sexually abused children run away, become addicted to drugs and alcohol, attempt suicide,
and may go on to sexually abuse other children and youth.

As a society, we must set our biases aside. We owe it to our children and youth to believe and
understand them when they disclose sexual abuse. And when we do receive sexual abuse
disclosures from children, we need to the child or youth:

"I believe you."

"It's not your fault."
"It will never be your fault."

The definition of sexual abuse with children is when an older child, a youth or an adult uses a
child or youth for his or her own sexual gratification. This includes incest. Incest with
children is when the child is sexually violated by a parent, parent figure, older sibling, other
relative, or other significant person in the child's family life.
FACT:  Most alleged perpetrators of sexual abuse were either "other" relatives (44% of the
cases) or non-relatives (29%). Notably, very few substantiated cases involved a stranger (2%)
(Trocme & Wolfe, 2001, pp.20-21 ). 1

FACT:  Of sexual assaults on children/youth by their family members reported to Canadian

police in 2000, 39% of the perpetrators were parents, 32% were siblings, 28% were members
of the extended family, and 1% were spouses (Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics, 2002 ). 2

FACT:  Alleged perpetrators were equally likely to be a biological father or stepfather

(Trocme & Wolfe, 2001, p.20 ).3

FACT:  In 7% of substantiated cases of child sexual abuse, the alleged perpetrators were
baby-sitters (Trocme & Wolfe, 2001, p.21 ).4

Under the definition of sexual abuse there are two categories: non-contact and contact.

Author's Note: Proper terms are used in the following section.

Definition of Sexual Abuse: Non-Contact

  forced to watch sexual acts

  forced to listen to sexual talk, including comments, tapes, and obscene phone calls

  sexually explicit material such as videos, DVDs, magazines, photographs, etc.; can be in-
person, on the computer via e-mails, and otherwise through the Internet

  forced to look at sexual parts of the body--includes buttocks, anus, genital area (vulva,
vagina, penis, scrotum), breasts, and mouth

FACT:  An adult exposing genitals to a child accounted for 12% of substantiated abuse cases
(Trocme & Wolfe, 2001, p.13 ).5

  sexually intrusive questions or comments; can be verbal, on the computer, or in notes

Definition of Sexual Abuse: Contact

  being touched and fondled in sexual areas, including kissing

FACT:  Touching and fondling of the genitals was the most common form of substantiated
abuse cases--69% of the cases (Trocme & Wolfe, 2001, p.13 ). 6

  forcing a child or youth to touch another person's sexual areas

  forced oral sex--oral sex is when the mouth comes in contact with the penis, the vagina or
the anus; many children believe that oral sex is "talking dirty"
   forced intercourse--can be vaginally, anally or orally; penetration must occur; penetration
can be with body parts and/or objects (the most common body parts used are the fingers,
tongue and penis)

FACT:  Attempted and completed intercourse accounted for 35% of substantiated abuse

cases (Trocme & Wolfe, 2001, p.13 ).7

Sexual abuse of children and youth is shrouded in secrecy, guilt and fear. Offenders use
intimidation and threats to keep the child from telling, but the number one reason children
and youth don't tell is that they are afraid they won't be believed. Though there is widespread
under-reporting of child molestation by both male and female victims, males are much less
likely to disclose.

FACT:  Sexual abuse was the primary reason cited in 10% of all child maltreatment
investigations (137,573) made by Social Services
Agencies in Canada in 1998 (Trocme, & Wolfe,
2001, p.3 ).
1

FACT:  38% of the above cases were substantiated (Trocme, & Wolfe, 2001, p.3 ). 2

FACT:  At least 2 million children worldwide are affected by the Commercial Sexual
Exploitation of Children. The average age at which children are initiated into CSEC is 13 or
14 years of age (Barnitz, 2001, pp. 597-610 ).
3

FACT:  Clincial and anecdotal evidence suggests that the incidence of sex abuse among
Canada's native peoples is as high as 80% (Kingsley & Mark, 2000 ).4

FACT:  Historical Canadian data on child sex abuse shows that approximately one-third of
all substantiated cases had previously been reported as allegations of forms of abuse other
than sexual (Thomlison et al., 1991 ).
5