MEMENTO MORI

AN ICCFA MAGAZINE OCTOBER 2020

Saying
Goodbye
A New ‘Artful’ Tradition
for Permanent
Placement

INSIDE:
The Cremation Dilemma
Renovate, Remodel, Refresh
A Place to Live and Grieve
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CONTENTS
VOLUME 80 | NUMBER 8 OCTOBER 2020

14
The Cremation
Dilemma: The Battle
Between Immediate
Gratification & Instant
Dissatisfaction
by Poul Lemasters, Esq.

30
Nurturing Leads Through the Sales Cycle
by Welton Hong

22
‘Kids, Say Goodbye
36
Celebrating Italian
to Grandpa’ American Heritage Month
A New ‘Artful’ Tradition for Famous People and
Permanent Placement of Where They Are Buried
Cremated Remains
by MaryAnne Scheuble

26
Renovate, Remodel, Refresh:
Cemeteries Facing Societal
Change Turn to ‘Staging’
to Stay Relevant
by Zach Rasmussen and
Christine Toson

38
Prose for the Quietus of Life
I Never Saw Your Wings
by Michele

2 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

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MEMENTO MORI
VOL. 80 | N0. 8 OCTOBER 2020 DEPARTMENTS
ICCFA Officers
PRESIDENT
PRESIDENT’S LETTER������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 6
Jay D. Dodds, CFSP
Grief Comes to All
PRESIDENT-ELECT by Jay D. Dodds, CFSP
Gary M. Freytag, CCFE
CREMATION & MEMORIALIZATION������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ 8
VICE PRESIDENT
Shawna de la Cruz ‘You Need a Place to Live and a Place to Grieve’
Be Your Families’ Trusted Advocate
VICE PRESIDENT
by Mike Watkins, CFSP
Lee Longino
VICE PRESIDENT TRIBUTES & MEMORIALIZATION �������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 10
Mitch Rose, CCFE, CCrE Paying Tribute to Those Who Came Before Us
Mount Auburn’s Iconic Residents Remembered
TREASURER
Chris Keller courtesy of the Friends of Mount Auburn
SECRETARY BUSINESS MANAGEMENT�����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������12
Robbie L. Pape People, Process, Tools: Part 3: Getting the Job Done
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR by Jason Cavett
Nadira Baddeliyanage
CEMETERY IMPOSSIBLE ������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ 42
GENERAL COUNSEL Hiring and Retaining the Best for Your Business
Poul Lemasters, Esq. by Daniel M. Isard, MSFS
[email protected]
ANOTHER BLACK DRESS������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������44
Magazine Staff What Is the True Death Toll of the Pandemic?
by Stephanie Longmuir
EDITORIAL DIRECTOR
Tatia L. Gordon-Troy, Esq. ABOVE GROUND������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ 46
[email protected] | 571.323.2983, ext. 1222 I See Dead People! Video Company Enables Virtual Graveside Visits
SUPPLIER RELATIONS MANAGER by Gail Rubin, CT
Rick Platter
[email protected] | 800.645.7700, ext. 1213 INDUSTRY UPDATE ��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������50
COMMUNICATIONS MANAGER MEMBER NEWS���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 52
Katherine Devins
[email protected] | 800.645.7700, ext. 1218
The Grief Journey Does Not End with the Funeral: �������������������������������������������������������� 52
Remembering the El Paso Massacre
COMMUNICATIONS ASSISTANT
Jason Brown A Green Funeral Partnership Provides Eco-Friendly Options�������������������������������������� 53
[email protected] | 800.645.7700, ext. 1224 Shades of Beauty and Positive Change in the Midst of a Pandemic ���������������������������� 54
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR AND PUBLISHER
ICCFA NEWS ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������61
Nadira Baddeliyanage
[email protected] | 800.645.7700, ext. 1225 Jack Lechner Jr. Joins ICCFA Educational Foundation Board of Trustees ����������������� 61
SUBSCRIPTION COORDINATOR (HABLA ESPAÑOL) Membership Benefit Spotlight: Long-Term Care Insurance ���������������������������������������� 62
Daniel Osorio Welcome New ICCFA Members ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 63
[email protected] | 800.645.7700, ext. 1215
ICCFA’s Virtual Seminar Series������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ 64
DESIGN & PRODUCTION
Executing Excellence: Thank You to Our Sponsors �������������������������������������������������������� 66
BonoTom Studio, Inc.
[email protected] | bonotom.com | 703-276-0612 Chapel of the Light Funeral Home: 2019 KIP Award Winner �������������������������������������� 67
Memento Mori (ISSN 1936-2099) is published by AD INDEX ������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ 68
the International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral
Association®, 107 Carpenter Drive, Suite 100, Sterling, EVENTS CALENDAR�������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 68
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postage paid at Sterling, VA, and other offices. Copyright 
2020 by the International Cemetery, Cremation and
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Individual written contributions, commentary and
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advertisements appearing in Memento Mori do not necessarily
reflect either the opinion or the endorsement of the —Winston Churchill
International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association.

4 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

PRESIDENT’S LETTER

Grief Comes to All

Jay D. Dodds, CFSP

W
HILE WE ARE ABLE TO OFFER FAMILIES CHOICES that best suit final responders, it is our duty to adjust and
their needs—embalming, cremation, alkaline hydrolysis, cryomation, or any overcome the challenges we face.
other type of preparation of the deceased—as professionals, the greatest A recent article by Dr. Alan Wolfelt
services we can perform for those grieving a loss are emotional gatherings, services, and mentions that some families require three
products. Whether a celebration of life, a simple gathering, a beautiful granite monument, ceremonies to foster healing. In my opinion,
or the permanent placement of cremated remains in a niche, the inner connections and these added-value ceremonies can take
coming together of our client families, friends, and communities are how we “level” many different forms. For example, a mod-
the playing field when it comes to diverse methods of serving our families and offering ified family service at a funeral home now
comfort for those grieving. may be followed by a more public event at
a later date to help the community come
Grief does not distinguish by race, ethnic Specifically, if you scatter someone’s together and mourn the loss, with a perma-
background, religion, sexual preference, age, cremated remains outside of a cemetery nent placement “unveiling” at a cemetery
or gender. Grief comes to all without bias. and without permanent memorialization, to follow. This completes the process and
This issue of Memento Mori is dedicated the memory of that person will fade within allows the family to have an “end” to the
to cremation and the processes around this two generations, maybe three, tops! This is physical element, although there is no “end”
type of body preparation. If you haven’t a travesty; it is easily preventable by people to the emotional side.
picked up on it by now, you will notice that and professionals who care a great deal to Understandably, many families are not
I refer to cremation as a form of preparation present and show families the options that ready to “let go” of their loved one, so they
and not a form of disposition. Anyone who cemeteries offer for permanent placement. choose to take the loved one home. I un-
derstand this thought process as many want
to hold on to their loved one’s remains a
There are generations of family members in little longer; with cremation, this is possible.
homes waiting for a courageous sales counselor However, at some point, permanent place-
ment needs to occur and we should secure
to ask permission to place their loved one in this place in a cemetery even if it is not
something that will be used immediately.
a proper resting place. With that said, the opportunities for cem-
eteries are nearly limitless when it comes to
has heard me speak or read my writings As many of us can attest, placement in placing loved ones who have been cremated.
will understand my position on permanent a church or school is not permanent due There are generations of family members in
placement and how necessary it is for a to the possibility of the church or school homes waiting for a courageous sales coun-
cemetery to be in the mix. It is a disservice being sold or moved. Many of us have selor to ask permission to place their loved
to those we serve to allow them to carry experienced this situation multiple times one in a proper resting place. As mentioned
cremated remains of their loved ones out- a year when a church building is sold, and before, this act of placing the loved one will
side of a cemetery setting for “disposition” the congregation comes to us for assistance provide the family some peace since this
in a non-permanent manner. with their cremation placements that must event will finish that which remains undone.
be moved. As professionals with knowledge of grief and
What Permanent Means And we can all agree, keeping a loved mourning, it is our obligation to assist our
Permanent is defined as forever placed one at home in a closet or basement is far communities with this important aspect for
and forever remembered, as in a cemetery from permanent. their family’s health.
distinguished by some form of permanent
memorialization. The argument that scat- Pivoting in the Midst … Learning Opportunities
tering is permanent—whether in an ocean, During these recent months, we have Serving families that choose cremation
river, flower bed, or on a mountain—is just endured service restrictions and limita- is a commitment to a continual learning
false. This type of placement is not consid- tions on the types of services we can offer. process of understanding each family’s
ered permanent because the memory of the This creates an opportunity to form more needs, especially when it comes to per-
place is generational in nature. meaningful experiences for families. As manent placement, which is the real final

6 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

 CREMATION GARDENS
GRANITE MEMORIALS
CONSTRUCTION

disposition. The good news is that we have

ICCFA and its educational opportunities
to learn from and utilize to develop our
procedures in addressing this need within
all communities.
DEAD Talks in January is a great way to
learn what others are doing concerning how
our profession is creating sales opportuni-
ties and developing cemeteries within cem-
eteries to address the needs of the families
choosing cremation.
ICCFA University has an entire college
dedicated to addressing cremation trends
and teaching skills. Memento Mori contains
article after article from experts with top-
ic-driven information on cremation services
along with ways to be creative and remain
profitable.
Networking with vendor partners
develops relationships where we can gain
valuable insight and methods of addressing
our professional challenges. At the end of
the day, we are all in this together and can
learn and teach each other how to better
serve our communities!
I heard something this week that makes
a lot of sense and resembles us as profes-
sionals: “We are both perfect and a work in
Jeff Kidwiler John Bolton
progress.” CCE, CSE CCE, CCrE, CSE, CXE
Jay D. Dodds, CFSP, jaydodds@ 714.549.2477 423.439.9181
parklawncorp.com, is president of
ICCFA (2019–20) and COO of Park [email protected] [email protected]
Lawn Corporation, with more than
35 years’ experience in the funeral
and cemetery profession. Jay is a
licensed funeral director and
Contact us today
embalmer in both Texas and New Mexico and is a
certified cremation operator. Jay previously for a free
served as founder, owner, and president/COO of
the Signature Group. Prior to founding Signature,
he served as executive vice president and chief
consultation.
operating officer of another U.S. publicly traded
company for 17 years. Jay currently serves as
trustee for the Funeral Service Foundation and
the ICCFA Educational Foundation, while also

www.oneblackstone.com
serving as a board member of the Pierce
Mortuary Colleges.

OCTOBER 2020 MEMENTO MORI 7

CREMATION & MEMORIALIZATION

‘You Need a Place to Live

and a Place to Grieve’
Be Your Families’ Trusted Advocate and
Educate Them on the Importance of Permanent Placement
by Mike Watkins, CFSP

A
RRANGING FOR PERMANENT DISPOSITION of cremated remains presents advertisement, they may assume that is
a unique challenge for funeral and cemetery professionals. While some families what we in the profession call all types of
come to us ready to make a commitment regarding permanent placement, cremation arrangements. But they don’t
others are unclear as to their plans and simply take their loved one’s remains home or, in know what they don’t know!
some cases, never pick them up at all. This presents a challenge for both the deathcare What is your response when a person
professional and the family: First, the family may be missing out on an opportunity to calls your firm and asks you for “informa-
honor their loved one, help themselves heal, and may potentially have one or multiple sets tion on cremation?” What is your response
of cremated remains in the home. Second, we as deathcare professionals are faced with a when you visit a person’s home to complete
loss of revenue and potential liability if a proper chain of custody is not documented. pre-arrangement and the first thing he or
she says is “just cremate me and scatter
Leading and advising your families to me?”
understand their options for permanent Effecting the behavioral change neces-
placement not only helps increase your Many of our Park Lawn sary to avoid this troubling trend begins
sales, it is the right thing to do. Properly ex- with your mindset. You must see yourself as
ecuting in this area begins with your belief locations have adopted the families’ trusted advocate:
in the importance of every family honoring the slogan, “Healing I realize that making funeral and cem-
their loved one’s life and your courage to
engage the family in conversation. Let’s Begins Here.” Do you etery arrangements is something the
average person does not do every day.
explore this phenomenon further to ensure
that you are maximizing every opportunity
believe that you help I want to assure you that I will be with
you every step of the way. While the
to serve your families’ needs. families begin to heal or decisions that need to be made today

Challenges We Face do you just sell stuff? are yours to make, it is my responsibility
to help make sure you have considered
Animator and cartoonist Walt Kelly once
all available options.
said, “I have met the enemy and he is us.” I
have spent years preaching to anyone who • We assume that families are using the Tell the family what is in your heart and
would listen to me that we must constantly correct terminology. do not reduce the arrangement conference
remember we are ultimately the ones who • We assume that families have con- (pre-need or at-need) to a business trans-
are responsible for the success (or failure) of sidered the repercussions of their action. Being invited into someone’s life to
our businesses. decisions. discuss such a highly personal and emotion-
The world and the families we serve I learned a valuable lesson firsthand al topic is a tremendous privilege!
have changed over the years; all too often, more than 30 years ago when I sat down
our business practices have not. Some still with a family. Before I could even get Believing in What We Do
conduct arrangements the same way they started, the family blurted out, “Mike, Part of our responsibility to our families
did in 1985 and can’t understand why their we already know what we want to do for is to help them understand the emotional
business is failing! mom.” They basically described a tradition- impact of their decisions. Dr. Alan Wolfelt
When it comes to serving families who al Catholic service followed by a “direct writes about the pitfalls of “better, faster,
select cremation, here are some common cremation.” cheaper.” He teaches that this “…is much
mistakes made by funeral and cemetery A critical mistake made by members less effective at helping grieving families
professionals: of our profession is that we don’t take the embark on a healthy path to healing …
•
We assume that families know what time to educate our families. When a family slower and more complex is almost always
they want. sees the words “direct cremation” in an better at helping families dose themselves

8 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

with the funeral and the ‘whys’ of the funer- counsel Poul Lemasters is available to help and then goes about his day. That is the
al ritual.” answer difficult questions. wonderful gift we give our families when we
Properly serving our families begins with have the professional courage to hear their
us having an unwavering belief in the power Providing a Place to Grieve story and offer them a place to honor the
of the services and merchandise we offer. Our having the professional courage to life lived.
The more we can offer to families in the way help a family understand the emotional
of the funeral ritual—ceremony, gatherings, and practical benefits of having a safe and Mike Watkins, CFSP, serves as the
vice president of Operations over
permanent placement, a place to visit so secure place for their loved one is critical.
the Southwest Region at Park
they can properly mourn—the better. As Dr. As my co-worker, Mat Forastiere, likes to
Lawn Corporation. Mike has been
Wolfelt says, we are “helping the mourner’s say, “You need a place to live and a place to involved in various capacities in
transition from life before death to life after grieve.” Being the families’ trusted advocate both public and private funeral
death.” is what separates us in our communities. and cemetery organizations
We cannot merely look at our work as A few years back, I was visiting our during his 36-plus years in the profession. Prior to
transactional. While we do offer burial and location in Overland Park, KS, and while joining Park Lawn, Mike served as a senior vice
cremation services, it is only a part of what entering the mausoleum, I came across a president for the National Funeral Directors
we offer. Many of our Park Lawn locations gentleman named Steve. He is not only one Association and as executive vice president for
have adopted the slogan, “Healing Begins of our customers, he is a member of our ex- Palm Mortuary in Las Vegas, which at the time
Here.” Do you believe that you help families tended family; all the employees know him. was the largest privately owned funeral and
cemetery operation in North America serving
begin to heal or do you just sell stuff? Steve is at his wife’s glass-front niche every
more than 7,000 families annually.
day. He spends some time with her, grieves,
Minimizing the Risks
The family who chooses to take cremated
remains home assumes risk. I have received
(and I’m sure you have as well) phone
calls from the police who have entered an
abandoned home where they find a box of
cremated remains.
While it is understandable why fam-
ilies might want their loved one close by
during the early stages of a loss, this can
prove problematic long-term. Subsequent
generations may not be as open to having
one or multiple sets of cremated remains in
their home.
I would be remiss if I did not mention
the risk we assume in our businesses. Audit-
ing business practices could be a topic for
an entirely new article, but in the meantime,
please consider:
• How well you are documenting the
case details of the family you are
serving?
• What are your procedures for keeping
cremated remains in locked, secure,
storage?
• How are you handling complicated
issues regarding right of disposition
when they arise?
Don’t forget, there are some great re-
sources on the ICCFA website; and general

OCTOBER 2020 MEMENTO MORI 9

TRIBUTES & MEMORIALIZATION

Paying Tribute to
Those Who Came Before Us
Mount Auburn’s Iconic Residents Remembered
Courtesy of the Friends of Mount Auburn

C
ITY COUNCILOR AND FORMER MAYOR DENISE SIMMONS , a lifelong The Abolitionist and Author
resident of Cambridge, MA, has been a regular visitor to Mount Auburn Cemetery On one of her visits, Denise found herself
for longer than she can remember. In addition to officiating at weddings as a Justice on Clethra Path at the grave of author,
of the Peace, she recently had her own wedding photos taken near Halcyon Lake. abolitionist, women’s rights advocate, and
former slave Harriet Jacobs (1813–1897).
“It is just beautiful at the cemetery,” says because it is associated with two extraor- Denise was inspired to read Jacobs’s Inci-
Denise. “The structure and form of monu- dinary 19th-century women: Dr. Harriot dents in the Life of a Slave Girl, which is
ments and architecture, the sculptures, the Kezia Hunt (1805–1875), who commis- among the few primary resources on slavery
trees as well as the scent of all the flowers sioned the monument for her grave, and written by a woman.
make it such a wonderful place to walk sculptor Edmonia Lewis (1844–1907), who For Denise, “Harriet Jacobs’s first person
around. My daughter loves the tower and carved it. narrative being read and re-read and shared
viewing the foliage from that vantage point Lewis, born to an African-American again and again is a chance to re-write and
in the fall. And I love the chapels and espe- father and a Chippewa (Ojibwa) mother, re/right history,” a corrective to the tradi-
cially the Sphinx … I find Mount Auburn a was the first woman and the first person of tional historical narratives that tended to be
wonderful place to be quiet. I find it recu- color from America to receive international one-sided.
perative and rejuvenating. And of course, it recognition as a sculptor; few examples of Few such narratives are told from the
is a great place to contemplate history.” her work survive. At the time of the Hunt African-American perspective from that
commission, Lewis was living and working period in history; it becomes easy for us to
The Goddess Hygeia in Rome. Harriot Hunt was one of the first misunderstand what life might have been
Denise became even more passionate about female physicians in Boston, an early femi- like for Black women at that time. As De-
Mount Auburn after learning about the nist reformer and an abolitionist. nise puts it, “when you get the opportunity
marble sculpture of the Goddess Hygeia After learning about Hygeia (and the to actually read a first-person testimony, it
on Poplar Avenue, through her involve- stories of Lewis and Hunt), Denise began is very exciting.”
ment with The History Project. Beyond its bringing friends and guests with her to Denise adds, “It is easy to be horrified by
beauty as a work of art, Hygeia is significant “meet the statue.” what we think Black lives might have been

The Goddess Hygeia Harriet Jacobs Katherine “Kittie” T. Knox

10 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

 Denise was inspired to read Jacobs’s Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl,
which is among the few primary resources on slavery written by a woman.

like or even to romanticize their lives in escaped slavery)—probably did not think involved in the Niagara Movement and the
some way, but truthfully these are just pres- of themselves as trailblazers, but rather just establishment of the NAACP and is buried
ent-day ideas of life that we are applying women, human beings trying to live their with her husband, Clement, at Mount
to the past when we don’t have first-hand lives with the same rights that were given Auburn.
accounts to consider. Women endured freely to others in their society. Many people see cemeteries as places
hardships in the past, but they also laughed “It behooves all of us to learn about of death, but Denise says she sees them as
and loved, raised children, got married, got other people’s stories and struggles,” says places of life. “If we all thought of death as
things accomplished even during the very Denise, “and every time we feel tired or a part of life instead of as the final frontier,
hardest points of their lives.” weary with our lives today, to turn the page then we might not be so traumatized by it.
She recalls the African proverb: “Un- back and to remember those who have gone Not one of us is getting out of here alive,
til the lion tells the story, the hunter will before us, those who made hard sacrifices so we must embrace that, and prepare
always be the hero.” (not always of their own choosing), and ourselves for it!”
In Mount Auburn, Denise has found a thereby made our lives more comfortable Denise suggests writing your own obit-
place to discover myriad voices from the today, and whose shoulders we all stand on.” uary: “Too many women and LGBT people
past. With more than 100,000 people buried have had their lives sanitized by others,
or memorialized at the cemetery, there Honoring the Legacy including their families after their death.” As
are countless voices to learn from going Denise is delighted that the Cambridge part of her own preparation for the future,
forward. City Council recently voted to rename she has drafted an epitaph for herself: “Let
“Mount Auburn Cemetery holds history two streets in honor of prominent Afri- the work that I have done speak for me.”
in its hands,” says Denise. “It is a place can-American women with ties to Mount
where my interest in women’s history and Auburn Cemetery: North Street will be Denise Simmons is city councilor and former
mayor of Cambridge, MA. This article originally
African-American history and LBGT histo- changed to Jacobs Street to honor Harriet
appeared in Sweet Auburn, Magazine of the
ry all dovetail together.” Jacobs; and North Point Boulevard will
Friends of Mount Auburn (2019). Reprinted with
be renamed Morgan Avenue to honor permission from Mount Auburn and the author.
Challenger of Stereotypes Gertrude Wright Morgan. Morgan was
On September 29, 2013, Denise, then vice
mayor of Cambridge, presided over the
dedication of a monument to 19th-cen-
tury cyclist Katherine “Kittie” T. Knox
(1874–1900), who is buried in a previously
unmarked grave on Vesper Path. In her day,
Knox challenged perceptions of both race R E L A M PI N G
and gender in the cycling community and in
society at large by riding an upright “men’s”
LED light bulbs
bicycle and wearing self-tailored pants. fo r C r y p t s & N i ch e s
Denise exclaims, “The Kittie Knox Bike Path
is going to make a wonderful connection D O I T YO U R S E L F
between East Cambridge and River Street!”
Denise notes that many remarkable s e p te ch n o l o g i e s .co m
women—like Knox, Jacobs, Lewis, and 1 8 7 7 5 1 5 - 4 67 2
Mary Walker (1818–1873, who also

OCTOBER 2020 MEMENTO MORI 11

BUSINESS MANAGEMENT

People, Process, Tools: Part 3

Tools and Technology: Getting the Job Done
by Jason Cavett

I
N MY PREVIOUS ARTICLE, I DISCUSSED PROPER PROCESS and how it ways. While powerful, approach it with
creates efficiencies and predictability in an organization. Once processes are in place, caution. I have seen millions wasted on
tools then support and enhance those processes. How you discover, buy, and apply implementing and customizing software
those tools is critical to their success and use. platforms.

Picture this: Buying Intelligently

As you buy, ask specific Most tech news focuses on sexy software,
You are at your first day on the job at
a new company. You are getting the questions and get a such as augmented and virtual reality, the
latest gadgets, and cloud platforms. The
usual on-boarding training. You have
met your team, filled in all the paper- straight answer. If you reality is that business software makes up
most of the software world. There are often
work, and your manager shows you
don’t get an immediate hundreds of options when it comes to buy-
your workspace. As you log-on to your
ing business software. A search of account-
computer for the first time, your man- straight answer to an ing software returns 20 major vendors in
ager points to an icon on your desktop.
It reads Super Important Software. He important question, the first result.
Finding the right technology for your
says, “Why don’t you play around with
this a bit? It’s the most important appli- make sure you get one organization can be a daunting task, indeed.
As you buy, consider the following ques-
cation to our organization. You’ll get the
in follow-up. tions to ensure you are making wise deci-
hang of it.” There is no official documen-
sions for your changing organization:
tation. There is no training. Worst of
all, there is no clear reason why Super
your organization overcomes. At worst, it How will technology accelerate the
Important Software is being used other
will become an anchor on your organization organization’s vision?
than “it always has been.”
and drag your team down with it. Technology accelerates. Technology, by
From Fortune 500 companies to a itself, does not precipitate change. As
two-person start-up, no company is im- What Is Technology? you are listening to sales people taut their
mune to the above scenario. Having worked Technology is a tool that helps an individual products and features, keep your focus on
for both the largest and smallest organiza- or team perform work, automate work, and your vision.
tions, it is, in fact, all too common. create efficiencies in the process. Technolo- If your vision is to drive new sales, does
The number one mistake that I see orga- gy should support your people and process. the software provide the tools and paths for
nizations make when enacting change is to Your people and process should never new revenue channels? If your vision is to
first look to buy technology without under- support the technology. (Of course, if you’re enable a more technology-forward organi-
standing why they are buying that technol- a large enough organization, you may have a zation, is the vendor providing regular up-
ogy or how it will help them. I have made technical staff to do exactly that, but that is dates to its software? Is it taking advantage
this exact mistake, which led to hundreds of for a different discussion.) of the latest technical capabilities?
hours of lost productivity. It is easy to watch These days, when service-oriented orga- If your vision is to create a high-service
a flashy demo (and they are all flashy) and nizations talk about implementing technol- culture, does the software enable strong
move right to buying. Anyone can do that. ogy, they are typically referring to software. communication and transparency with your
The foundations of people and process must Software continues to advance and change families? Does the software create efficien-
be in place—and this is difficult. Only then entire industries. It enables the creation cies and take advantage of what technology
will technology do its job. and destruction of markets (Amazon vs. can offer, or does it simply replicate on a
Technology is not magic. It will not everyone else). screen how things have always been done?
make problems disappear. Poor technology Software offers the opportunity to reach Always maintain focus on your ultimate
implementation, at best, will be something individuals and share information in new destination.

12 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

 These are but a few of the hundreds of
questions you might ask. Think about what
is most important to you as the buyer. As
you buy, ask specific questions and get a
straight answer. If you don’t get an imme-
diate straight answer to an important ques-
tion, make sure you get one in follow-up.
Do your homework!
Last of all, even the best technology is
What process(es) will be replaced or lives of those who use it? What problems not for every business. Do not try to force a
improved? will it not solve? What are its weaknesses? fit where one doesn’t exist. Major kudos to
Technology should enhance processes. How There are too many times I have seen any vendor that recognizes this during the
will technology improve existing processes “cool” be a reason to justify a technology sales process. If that does happen, this is not
or how will it remove a poor process? purchase. a bad thing; in fact, it’s quite the opposite!
A common example is a service desk or If this happens, ask that vendor whom they
ticket system. In a service-oriented indus- What kind of vendor are you buying might recommend. I have seen surprising
try, your people spend a majority of their from? relationships form from this exact scenario.
time serving families. A simple process is to Approach a technology vendor like you
work through a paper tracking system and would a marriage. Business software pur- Solving the Right Problem
your staff follows-up via an email or phone chases are difficult and don’t change often. Any kind of change is difficult. Organiza-
call. This is a long-term relationship. tional change is even more difficult. While
But by introducing technology, you can It is important to understand the ven- my series of articles on People, Process, and
now leverage it for greater gain. Now, you dor’s goals for its products. Does it heavily Tools do not begin to dig into the depths of
can better understand how well your orga- customize its product for each customer at these topics, I hope they lay the foundation
nization is following up on requests. You an increased cost? Is the vendor focused on and provide you some direction.
can see how long it takes to handle those a singular set of dynamic products but with Organizational change done right can
requests. You gain an understanding of pri- limited customization? Does it provide a be one of the most satisfying things a leader
ority rather than a first in/first out scenario. base product with consulting built on top? can do.
This technology allows you to move closer Consider the vendor’s relationship to the
to your goal. industry. How well does it know and under- Jason Cavett is the chief technical
officer of webCemeteries and
stand your business? What is its reputation
owner of CavetTek, LLC. Jason’s
Can your team explain how the with current customers? How long has it
varied career has covered
technology will fit? been active in your profession? What do healthcare, defense, research, and
Oftentimes, when shopping for software, other vendors think of this one? consulting, but no matter what
your team members will present a possible Consider future growth between your industry, he has maintained a
solution. They may have seen it at a trade organization and your vendor’s organiza- singular focus on developing high-quality
show. They may have received a cold call tion. What does the product investment software for his customers, clients, and users.
from a sales person. Perhaps they know look like? Is the vendor growing or scaling With successes that include leading the software
someone at another organization that uses it. back? Do its products and expertise give transition of a 4,000-person company divestiture,
That is a great start. But, when sitting new opportunities to leverage technology in building tailored solutions for Fortune 100
down and evaluating that technology, can ways you hadn’t considered? How does the companies, and leveraging software to improve
organizational efficiency, Jason is singularly
your team members identify how that soft- support work? How available is support?
focused on ensuring that companies and
ware will fit into your organization? Who Is there training provided as part of the
organizations solve the right problems.
will use it? How will it improve the work contract or with an additional fee?

OCTOBER 2020 MEMENTO MORI 13

 Patience is a virtue.
There’s a reason that
on-the-fly marriages in Las
Vegas are less likely to last
than those between two
long-term partners who have
planned their future together:
it takes time to get to know
your partner, to get to know
yourself, and to create a
healthy, nurturing relationship.
The poets and romantic
comedies may push the idea
of love at first sight, but it
simply doesn’t exist; you must
actually know someone to
truly love them ...
—Laura Brown, Meet Mindful
 No Patience,
No Satisfaction
The Battle Between

The Immediate Gratification &

Cremation Dilemma
Instant Dissatisfaction

I
by Poul Lemasters, Esq. MMEDIATE GRATIFICATION. It is the
pleasure we all seek. It is a wonderful
feeling that our society enjoys.
Today’s technology fosters our desire for immediate grat-
ification. Millions of us carry powerful yet tiny computers in
SHUTTERSTOCK / PATHDOC / LUCA IANNUZZI / ISTOCK / BOWIE15 / RIDOFRANZ / MARCOS CALVO / SENSORSPOT / MANTOSH / DRBIMAGES

our pockets that allow us to be only a few clicks away from

finding the latest trends in fashion, the best local restaurants,
and the cheapest deals on car repairs. Not to mention feeding
our addiction to celebrity news, catching a glimpse of the latest
family photos, and seeing who’s trending highest in the latest
polls, if politics is your thing.
We have access to the world at our fingertips. No waiting in
line at the local grocery store, no visiting the local library for
the latest crime novel, no hunting for a phone to call home just
in case a run to the convenience store is needed along the way.
Think about all the ways we continue to reinforce immedi-
ate gratification. I can sit and binge on a television series with-
out having to wait for the next episode week after week. And I
don’t even have to watch the commercials if I so choose.
I must admit that the dinosaur we now know as delayed
gratification had its benefits. One of my favorite shows as a
young adult (that’s what I called myself in college) was The
Simpsons. On Sunday nights, our entire dorm would gather to
watch The Simpsons. This was before The Simpsons moved to
Thursday nights to compete against The Cosby Show. It was a
great shared event that everyone waited for with anticipation.
These days, all the seasons of The Simpsons are on FXNOW or
iTunes (so I have been told). No waiting required. No gather-
ings to bring us all together for a single purpose.

OCTOBER 2020 MEMENTO MORI 15

THE CREMATION DILEMMA

Direct cremation means

immediate gratification to
a family but brings with
it a chance of immediate
dissatisfaction if it doesn’t live
up to their expectations.

Luckily, I was able to locate one through another

source. And while my problem may seem petty, I found
myself suffering from a common side effect of immedi-
ate gratification—instant dissatisfaction.
In today’s world, we are so accustomed to getting
what we want when we want it. And like withdrawal
symptoms, we suffer severe reactions when we fail
to receive things immediately. This may seem silly to
some; to others it may come as no surprise; but there
are studies showing that immediate satisfaction produc-
es certain chemicals, such as endorphins, in the body to
increase our happiness. Then when we expect a certain
result and don’t receive it as quickly as we’d like, well,
we crash. Instant dissatisfaction sets in.

Skipping Past the Difficult Parts

Let’s now add an aspect of deathcare to the mix. No
one really looks forward to the grieving process. And
part of that process is a funeral. If people can skip the
The Culture of NOW! funeral in order to hurry through the process, in their
One word: Amazon. Can you think of anything that minds this is better. It is a quicker, easier process, and it
has enhanced our desire for immediate gratification becomes instant gratification because they feel they’ve
more than Amazon? You can order items that you don’t skipped past the difficult part of death.
even need, and still have them arrive within two days Arguably, cremation is a form of instant gratifi-
or sooner! Amazon just might be the biggest “pusher” cation. The problem is that cremation isn’t easy or
of this mental drug of immediate gratification in our immediate; but as providers, we portray it as such. For
society today. goodness’ sake, it’s called “direct” cremation!
Not only is Amazon pushing it, it has caused others As mentioned earlier, the biggest pitfall of immediate
to get in the market just to keep up. Look around at all gratification is instant dissatisfaction. That is because
the stores in your area that are now supplying imme- immediate gratification brings about other reactions: a
diate gratification. I never thought I’d need a pound of false sense of urgency; a potential lack of trust; even a
strawberries delivered to my house in under an hour— rush to make a decision. While there are other byprod-
need it or not, I got it; and, boy, were those strawber- ucts of immediate gratification, this article focuses on
ries sweet! the rush to make a decision—or a rush to judgment.
But the side effects and downside of immediate grat- Our society thrives on the rush to judgment. Social
ification are devastating. The other night, for example, I media, in particular, feeds on people’s rush to judgment.
needed a nutmeg grater (sadly, some of you may actually The problem is that eventually the reality of the story
understand). It was a Saturday night; stores were closed. originally shared is not necessarily the same as it was at
I needed it by Sunday. Amazon could not guarantee the beginning. Stories take time to develop; facts take
delivery by noon. What was I to do? I was so upset. time to discover; as a result, decisions should wait—but
Amazon had gotten me hooked, addicted if you will, not in today’s world. Today, we want immediate gratifi-
to its instant fulfillment of my needs; I found myself at cation of everything, including resolutions.
my wit’s end and swore that I was done with Amazon. We see consumers in our industry quickly make
How could it let me down at such a crucial time? No a decision based purely on limited information. No
nutmeg grater within 12 hours? research. No questions. Just judgment.

16 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

 In the world of cremation, when something happens communication. It is important to understand the
in the cremation process that the family does not expect, difference between transparency and communication,
there is typically a rush to judgment followed by dissat- because while transparency involves informing a family
isfaction. Notice that I used the words, “family does not about details they should know in the cremation and
expect,” because it isn’t necessarily something that went funeral process, communication is making sure that
wrong, just something unexpected. And once it happens, they understand. Communication does not simply ap-
and judgment is made, it can be difficult to win the battle. ply to items you share through transparency; commu-
Listed below are three ways to limit potential issues nication applies to everything you do.
and avoid the repercussions of immediate dissatis- When it comes to communication, there are two
faction with your cremation families: transparency, common problems: assumptions and follow-through.
communication, and documentation. Many cremation providers assume that families know
more than they probably do. As a result, providers fail to
Transparency communicate all the information that families may need.
Deathcare has been built on helping those in need As an example, when a family comes in and asks for
through one of the most difficult times in their lives. In a direct cremation, there is an assumption that they un-
this process, many deathcare providers try to shield a derstand and know what they are requesting. However,
family from all the details of what the provider does in let me share a situation (or a potential lawsuit) where
order to focus on what the family needs. Families need a spouse asked for a direct cremation and the funeral
to have a funeral and move on in the grieving process, home provided it but almost got sued:
and there is no need to overload them with all the details
The spouse called the funeral home regarding her
of how the process works. This has carried over into the
husband’s death. She indicated that she wanted a
world of cremation providers, with many providers not
direct cremation, and as the funeral home later stat-
sharing all the details about the cremation process.
ed, she “just wanted it to be over.” The next day, she
Many providers will admittedly state that the family
filled out all the paperwork for the cremation and
doesn’t need to know everything, while others will
the following day the cremation was performed.
defend their actions by saying things such as, “The family
The provider called the widow that day and told
never asked.” No matter the rationale, the end result is
her she could come in without explaining in detail
that cremation providers do not always make the process
why. The widow’s recollection was that he said
transparent. This leads to potential trust issues (along the
something along the lines of, “He is ready now.” The
distrust side of things.) The reason is that when people
widow enters the funeral home and says she is ready
are not told about something, this can lead to a false
for her husband.
belief that the issue was actually being hidden from them.
At this time, the provider hands her a box of
Consider this: Most states require identification of
cremated remains. The woman becomes hysterical
the deceased prior to cremation. Many states passed the
because she believed she was coming in to see him
law as a result of erroneous cremations of individuals
one last time. Her understanding of a direct cre-
due to the lack of an identification process. Many cre-
mation did not include the fact that the cremation
mation providers do not explain the process of identifi-
would take place right away without her having one
cation and even fewer discuss the rationale behind it.
last viewing. The provider stated that this was how
In fact, the entire process should make a family
all direct cremations work.
feel better about and more confident in the
cremation process. However, when we hide the
process, or the rationale behind the process,
we actually are leaving ourselves open for when
something goes wrong; or even worse, if some-
thing doesn’t go wrong, but a family believes it
didn’t go right.
In today’s world, waiting to explain a process
to a family on a “need to know” basis can be
too late. Transparency allows you to be upfront
with families and build a level of trust that can
help you avoid a knee-jerk reaction later.

Communication
Communication is critical to avoiding issues.
This should go without saying; but then again,
if I do not say it, I might be guilty of poor

OCTOBER 2020 MEMENTO MORI 17

 THE CREMATION DILEMMA

Ultimately, this was a case of poor communi- keep reading). Or perhaps a friend asks them why it’s
cation built on an assumption of what someone taking so long. Then, because the friend thinks he or she
believes others already know. is helping, the friend shares a horrible story once heard.
The other communication issue is follow-through. Either way, the family now has a grim picture of why a
There is the adage, “Silence is golden.” Thank you, delay exists—along with the silence from the provider.
Thomas Carlyle, but I must respectfully disagree. Eventually, the provider calls to tell the family that
Silence is the root of communication issues. When everything is ready. Does the provider explain why? Is it
families do not hear from a provider, it leads to them enough of a reason? Does the family believe the expla-
filling the silence with concerns and their own answers nation? How will the provider even know?
to their concerns. Here lies the problem of poor communication. Once
A family can write their own narrative during a gap you fail in communicating with the family, you poten-
in communication, and you, as the provider, will have to tially lose it forever. As a provider, you want to avoid this
correct it without ever knowing where it started. defective communication that yields little to no benefit.
Follow-through becomes even more imperative Good communication is built on explaining every-
when, for example, there is a delay in the cremation thing to someone. Then, we reaffirm this by ensuring
process. Whether it’s a doctor not wanting to sign, or a that someone understands what we have said. Do not
crematory that is experiencing a high-volume, the result assume people know what you know; after all, you are
is a delay in the cremation itself. the professional and should know more than they do.
If you choose to not say anything, many families will Your job is to communicate to them, to ensure they
never call—and will simply wait. A provider may even understand everything they need to know.
have a false sense of security by rationalizing that no Good communication also lets the other party know
news is good news; so the family must not mind. what is next and when it will happen. As many people
However, the family may be deciding that there is know, fear of the unknown is the greatest fear of all.
a problem. Then they find a story about a cremation When people do not know what or when to expect the
problem (and if you do not think they are Googling next step, it causes them panic and stress, which will
cremation problems by this point, you really need to lead to the provider being in a bad position.
Make sure that you explain the events and the
Communication timing. If the timing is going to be later, it is fine. That
is your cue to call the family and communicate the new
does not simply timing and reason. Don’t just wait and simply hope they
won’t mind. Be proactive in your communication to
apply to items avoid assumptions and rushes to judgment. By doing
you share through so, you can avoid the immediate dissatisfaction families
may already be experiencing.
transparency;
communication Documentation
The last piece of protection that any cremation pro-
applies to vider has is documentation. If transparency and good
communication still lead to an issue, then documen-
everything you do. tation may be your best chance to avoid the wrath of a
family served.
Without good documentation, many issues fall into
the great legal divide of he-said-she-said. Without proof,
it is always one person’s word against that of another.
And while the cremation provider may be the profes-
sional, that only goes so far. In fact, if there is a debate
among the professional and the family, many people
tend to side with the family for the following reasons:
• People tend to side with the party who was in a
vulnerable position;
• People understand that at times like these, the
family was most likely distraught;
• People acknowledge that the provider gets paid for
his or her services; and, of course,
• The wonderful “customer is always right” theory.
The point is that without proof, you will have a

18 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

 KICKING ASH AND TAKING NAMES
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THE CREMATION DILEMMA

tough battle ahead of you. A cremation provider’s proof show them the answer. Using their own signed docu-
lies within the documentation: ments to help them see the answer is one of the most
• What do your documents say? powerful tools available to a provider—in any business.
• Do you have an acknowledgment of identification?
• Do you have in writing the timing of cremation? Oh, That Bad Review …
• Do you verify who all the family is to confirm who In today’s world, immediate dissatisfaction is as prev-
is the proper authorizing agent? alent as immediate gratification. No one wants to wait
• Do you provide a detailed inventory of all per- for an explanation. In fact, no one wants to give you the
sonal effects, from time of removal until time of time to explain yourself when something goes wrong.
cremation? So let’s be clear. You may have read this entire article
• Do you document previous marriages; divorces; and thought of the potential lawsuit or legal claim that
adoptions? a family may rush to bring if they believe there is a
• Do you verify the return of the cremated remains? problem. However, this issue is much broader and more
• Do you document not only what they choose for powerful than what an attorney or court could bring.
cremation but also what you offer, and whether I’m referring to the court of public opinion.
they declined? Look at the issues in the media—social media espe-
Here is the ultimate test. Pull a file from a family you cially. When a person places a problem out there for the
served years ago. Hand it to someone on your staff and entire world to see, the world judges. The world judges
tell that person that the family has called some years quickly and decisively.
later and has said [this is where you fill in the blank]. Notice the phrase “quickly and decisively.”
Get creative. Maybe someone called to inquire about Not methodically.
a missing piece of jewelry. Maybe the person is asking Not after being provided all the evidence.
about who picked up the cremated remains and when. Not after hearing both sides of the story.
Challenge yourself and your staff to develop a proactive Your issue may not be worthy of the world’s atten-
plan to address such problems. tion, but it could easily grab the attention of a local
From nothing but that file, and the documents family and your community. Once a family places their
inside it, can you prove your case? It’s a simple test with problem out to the community, it may be too late for
thought-provoking results. you to resolve.
It is important that if a family has an issue, you can do Direct cremation has far more implications than
more than just give them an answer. Use the documents, the name implies. Direct cremation means immediate
preferably the ones they acknowledged and signed, to gratification to a family but brings with it a chance of
immediate dissatisfaction if it doesn’t live
up to their expectations. A provider must
realize this when helping families.
GREVER
GREVER &
& WARD
WARD Your best intentions when helping a fam-

CEMETERY PLANNING ily are not enough. The items mentioned in

this article are not the only tools available, but
they are a few that are easiest to implement,
as well as some of the best at helping provid-
ers and families avoid potential issues.

Poul Lemasters, Esq., [email protected], serves as

ICCFA general counsel and cremation programs
coordinator. He also serves on the Government
and Legal Affairs Committee. Poul is an attorney
and a funeral director/embalmer with degrees
from the Cincinnati College of Mortuary Science
and the Northern Kentucky University Chase
College of Law. He is a licensed funeral director/
embalmer in Ohio and West Virginia and is
admitted to practice law in Ohio, Kentucky, and
Virginia. As principal of Lemasters Consulting, a
deathcare consulting company, Poul Lemasters
offers ICCFA members in good standing a free
one-hour consultation relating to cremation; in
addition, members are entitled to a free GPL
review to check for Funeral Rule compliance.

20 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

Ad Name
Page 21
W
E PROTECT AND SECURE
THE THINGS WE HOLD DEAR.
Alarm systems and dead
bolts safeguard our homes and families;
important papers and documents are
locked away in safety deposit boxes; and
private passwords keep strangers out of
our financial accounts. Grieving families
come to you every day and entrust you
with the people they held dear. Whether
cremated or casketed, every body deserves
equal care and protection. The protection
and security of a loved one’s cremated
body is incumbent upon the standard
of care you set for your cemetery.
One particular cemetery standard
is that of requiring a burial vault.
Most cemeteries mandate that
embalmed bodies be encased in
burial vaults. Likewise, many locations
have adopted similar practices for
cremation burials.

A New ‘Artful’ Tradition

for Permanent Placement
of Cremated Remains

22 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

 ‘Kids,
Say Goodbye
to
Grandpa’
by MaryAnne Scheuble

OCTOBER 2020 MEMENTO MORI 23

KIDS, SAY GOODBYE TO GRANDPA

Urn vaults provide dignity and

honor for the cremated body.
They keep each cremated body
safe and secure whether in the
ground or in a niche space.

To ensure that your cemetery’s treatment of the of Apple, who believed that we can’t always imagine
cremated body positively influences the community’s how something will affect or benefit our lives. As a
perceptions of value and worth, require urn vaults. deathcare professional, the consumer does not possess
Urn vaults are required by some cemeteries be- your training, experience, and specific knowledge. Be-
cause they: cause knowledge is power, you are empowering families
• Keep the cremated body secure and dry for to make well-informed choices.
generations When you explain what services and benefits are
• Ensure a dignified standard of care received by entrusting a loved one to your care, families
• Protect the investment of the urn purchase can count on your high standards of providing dignity,
• Allow space for memorabilia – photos, love notes, honor, and protection for all. Urn vaults offer added
favorite blanket protection, security, and dignity.
• Can provide the family a comforting “last look” as Every day, we make buying choices. Our choices are
they leave the grave or niche based on our value systems and not just on how much
• Affirm the worth of each person by providing an money has been budgeted. Honor each family by offer-
impenetrable, final housing ing choices and encourage personal preferences.
• Make disinterment easier
• Provide added security and peace of mind for the Why include a vault with your cremation fee?
family The average consumer has no understanding of what
• Maintain cemetery grounds burial costs include. They aren’t thinking about perpet-
ual care and grass cutting, re-setting monuments, filling
Why should a family choose an urn vault? in holes, painting, fence repairs, correcting damage
A pre-planner might come to you with the intent on from the elements, or employee salaries that expand in
purchasing a niche yet leave having purchased family the growing season and during snow removal times.
plots in a beautifully landscaped area. Even a frugal By including a standard urn vault with every inurn-
decision-maker will choose to change the budget based ment, you are establishing a basic level of protection and
on recognized value. standard of care. Once you explain the purpose of a vault,
“A lot of times, people don’t know what they want families will be reassured knowing that it is included.
until you show it to them,” said Steve Jobs, co-founder Some cemeteries may offer a basic model but then allow

24 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

families to upgrade to another approved urn best for your cemetery, ask pertinent and honor for the cremated body. They
vault for an additional cost. questions: keep each cremated body safe and secure
The cemetery sale of urn vaults can add • Which brands of urn vaults can be whether in the ground or in a niche space.
to a cemetery’s working capital. The burial interred by one person and which They make disinterment easy.
price is adjusted to accommodate the add- require heavy equipment? With the overwhelming shift toward
ed vault cost. Verify whether this has to be • Can urn vaults be used as an urn/vault cremation, the memorial industry has been
listed as a line item if it is offered as part of combo? bombarded with new ideas and challenges
the plot cost. • Would families like the ability to per- as we navigate the growing pains of this
sonalize? Which vaults allow for that? new tradition. As cemeterians and memori-
Who should provide urn vaults? • Will a family member be holding the al professionals, how are we leading the new
Traditionally, funeral directors have been vault during a procession or committal traditions of perpetual care for cremated
responsible for offering and selling this service? bodies? How are we enhancing the dignity
cemetery product. However, if one thing • Are there “good, better, best” options of each cremated body?
is certain, it’s that times are a changin’. for families you serve? As we mold the future of cremation,
With cremation, too many families take • Is the urn vault made in the U.S.A.? there should be no question that what is
home cremated remains with the intention (especially important for veterans) precious and dear to the families we serve
of keeping them, but then they reach out • How much space is there for mem- will be safely sheltered and secure within
to the cemetery about burial. If a family orabilia and is this important to the your care.
comes to you for a cremation burial, are family?
you prepared to offer them the services and • Can the vault degrade or will it last for MaryAnne Scheuble, MaryAnne@
CressyMemorial.com, has 15+ years’ experience
products they need or are you sending their generations to come?
business down the road? • Will families observe and participate in
in the memorial industry. In her sales and
marketing capacity at Cressy Memorial Group,
When your cemetery decides to require the sealing of the vaults? she has visited over 2,500 funeral homes and
urn vaults, you should issue a letter to local cemetery locations throughout the United
funeral homes with the new regulations. Be How will your cemetery benefit by States since 2004, working with and supporting
sure to alert them of the maximum allow- requiring urn vaults? memorial industry personnel. Cressy Memorial
able dimensions or any other thresholds you It’s your cemetery, so you are responsible Group represents Crowne Vaults, Howard Miller
may incorporate. for everything that goes in the ground and Memorials, and R&S Marble Designs to the
everything that sits above ground. Your memorial industry. MaryAnne can be reached at
What do you need to know about standard of care is reflected in every aspect 866.763.0485.
ordering urn vaults? of your business. Urn vaults provide dignity
Urn vaults come in a variety of styles and
materials. Some families come expecting
the vault to cost several hundred dollars
and they may not be able to afford it or
appreciate its value. When presented with
choices, the family may readily agree to a
lesser-priced urn vault or standard that pro-
vides the same protection and is attractive.
Urn vaults are also available in different
sizes. Some are designed to hold just the
temporary plastic insert (provided from the
crematory) while others can accommodate
standard urn sizes, multiple urns, or tall and
over-sized urns. Unlike hats, vaults should
not be one-size-fits-all. Strive to offer the
size that fits a family’s needs.
Materials range from high-impact
plastic and composite materials to concrete
and mixture blends. Weight varies from a
few pounds to 100+ pounds. It may help to
think about usage and storage requirements
when making selections.
When choosing which urn vaults are

OCTOBER 2020 MEMENTO MORI 25

Renovate,
Remodel,
Cemeteries Facing
Societal Change
Turn to ‘Staging’ to
Stay Relevant

26 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

 Rendering of the
Saint Peter Paul
Cremation Garden

by Zach Rasmussen and Christine Toson

S
TAGING. CURB APPEAL. These are terms we typically associate with the
residential real estate industry. The National Association of Realtors (NAR) says
“49 percent of buyers’ agents believe staging affects most buyers’ view of a
home. And 77 percent of them say it’s easier for people to visualize a staged home
as their own.” Those numbers make staging a home even more important to the sale
of the home. Staging is a strategic move for home sellers. It, too, is a strategic move
for today’s cemeteries. Just as staging a house—arranging furnishings, refreshing
belongings and décor, landscaping, and making repairs—can make a house look its
best while selling, doing the same can help sell your cemetery.

OCTOBER 2020 MEMENTO MORI 27

RENOVATE, REMODEL, REFRESH

Cemeterians have a tendency to focus on curb appeal—their

maintenance and care of the grounds. This is understandable
because families we serve expect standards of care on the grounds
of a cemetery. Grounds can be managed through proper land-
scaping, horticulture, pesticides, and training connected to lawn
care preservation. Cemeteries have their own brand and their own
market, and often this dictates what level of maintenance and care
the grounds will get.
But what happens when the buildings on the grounds start
deteriorating? Some can be patched together and repaired just like
most buildings. In the long term, however, the costs of maintenance
and renovation are more substantial than ongoing lawn care. Yet, all
too often, cemeterians believe mausoleum buildings do not require
the same maintenance as the grounds; unfortunately, after years of
neglect, they can reach a point of no return and require a complete
renovation or tear down/rebuild.
When it comes to mausoleums and chapels, the problems are
exacerbated by the fact that they contain deceased bodies and often
the facilities are used regularly. The complexities of disentombing
and re-entombing deceased bodies are vast; some jurisdictions are
much stricter than others when it involves moving human remains,
and the process of approval can take years.
In most cases, Public Enemy Number One is water. Like ele-
ments in the natural world, almost all breakdown and decompo- IA Mausoleum Glass Niches
sition are assisted and accelerated by water. In cold weather, water
infiltration can be especially problematic due to the freeze/thaw
cycle. When evaluating and prioritizing preventive maintenance consisting of individual crypt and niche fronts that can cause
of your structures, start at the top of the structure, with the roof, danger since they are connected as pieces rather than one secure
and move down from there. Most long-term damage begins with a wall. These are also removed at least once for entombment and
leak in the roof, which may go years without being detected. Once inurnment procedures, which if replaced incorrectly could lead
the damage is noticed, the results may be significant since the leak to unsafe conditions, offensive odors, decomposition fluids, and
could easily spread behind crypt fronts, between broken seams, or crypt fly infestation. Consistent and periodic inspections of crypt
within plenum chambers. If left unrepaired, the necessary resto- and niche fronts, closure panels, hanger systems, plenum cham-
rations could cost significantly more than the initial fix. bers, roof vents, trim, and overall construction are critical for
mausoleum buildings.
Staging Is for Cemeteries If an existing mausoleum or columbarium structure has reached
In almost every industry, perception and appearance are para- its capacity, that’s no reason to neglect it. Know that it could act
mount to making a positive first and lasting impression on your as an “anchor” for future development. Family heritage contained
clients. Poor short– and long-term maintenance of cemetery within our properties is a strong draw to attract the next of kin
buildings and grounds can sour the opinions of the families who are searching for their final resting place. Pictured in this article is a
visiting loved ones, which in turn will result in complaints for your mausoleum with glass niches; the resurgence and rise of glass front
cemetery office staff as well as reduce future opportunities to serve cremation products can be a tasteful addition to otherwise filled
those families. buildings. If designed and incorporated properly, this addition-
It is also important to maintain a minimum of care within your al revenue source can support maintenance and repairs to older
cemetery buildings for the dignity and respect of those who rest structures.
there. It is our responsibility as cemeterians to maintain the quality
of the structures. Cremation Gardens Are in Bloom
The most significant consequence of poor maintenance of ceme- Historic mausoleum structures, and even contemporary designs,
tery architecture is the potential hazard to the public and cemetery can be a beautiful backdrop for future development. The land
staff. When mausoleum buildings and chapels reach the point of around existing mausoleums is often a prime location to integrate
deterioration due to neglect, poor construction, or failing product, cremation gardens, community columbaria, or ossuaries. With
it causes significant safety concerns. the right design assistance, these gardens can incorporate similar
Mausoleums and columbaria are designed and construct- design and material traits to the existing infrastructure, resulting in
ed using several modular, individual, and removable elements a holistic appearance.

28 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

Repurposing the “Chapel” Updating carpeting, paint, and lighting are simple ways to keep
the space fresh. However, there are many other enhancements that
Chapels are a gathering space and this might be all that some vis-
can add tremendous depth of value to the families you serve:
itors know of the cemetery’s operation. Generally, individuals will
•
only be in the facility once or twice, and if the only impression they
Hospitality spaces, including kitchenettes, bars, or ample space
have is that it is musty, outdated, and stale, they will think the entire
for caterers
•
operation is the same. Chapels must remain relevant with their us- State-of-the-art audio and visual equipment
•
age as well as their décor. Remodeling will keep it fresh, orderly, and
Charging stations for mobile phones and devices
•
in style. This will ultimately help with image as well as resale value.
Reflection rooms to allow for solitude and a moment of peace
As current trends dictate, cemetery and funeral chapels are when needed
•
being repurposed. Even the term “chapel” is quickly being disposed Child spaces
•
of due to its religious connotation. Many people are “un-churched” Coffee and refreshment spaces
or hold adverse feelings toward organized religion. • Lounge areas
According to Patheos, 43 percent of
Americans are “unchurched” (have not
gone to church in the past six months)
As current trends dictate,
and 34 percent are “dechurched” (former cemetery and funeral
active churchgoers who have not attend-
ed church in the past six months). As we chapels are being
are already floundering in our profession repurposed. Even the
to help society understand the impor-
tance of ceremony and memorialization term “chapel” is quickly
surrounding death, maintaining outdat-
ed terminology because of a misplaced
being disposed of due to
sense of tradition is not helping to attract its religious connotation.
future customers.

Finding the
Right Contractor
When considering a
team to help with ren-
ovation, remodeling,
or refreshing, keep in Appetizers served in the FHMP Chapel
mind that your choic-
es must understand
the long-term aspects of your construction relationship consisting
of generations of maintenance. Having cemetery operational expe-
rience is tremendously important, but be sure to check for relevant
experience before hiring anyone to help with these sacred build-
ings. Implement daily, monthly, and annual checklists and have a
crew that is passionate about the preservation of the grounds and
facilities to help you stay on track.
As properties age and overall perceptions change toward burial,
entombment, inurnment, and religion, we must find creative ways
to attract clients and customers to our cemeteries. Although it can
be a daunting task, it is extremely important for decision-makers
and operators to pay close attention to maintenance of their prop-
erties, as it can affect the health, safety, and perception of the public
and staff. With assistance of a reputable consultant, cost-effective
evaluations can be completed and recommendations for action
reported before they get out of hand.

Christine Toson, CCE, [email protected], is president and CEO of

An open bar and hors d’oeuvres The Tribute Companies and Zach Rasmussen, [email protected], is
menu in the FHMP Chapel
manager of Design, Precast & Construction.

OCTOBER 2020 MEMENTO MORI 29

 SHUT
TERSTOCK / OLIVIER L
EM
OA
L

30 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

 Nurturing Leads
Through the

$CYCLE
ALES by Welton Hong

E
VERYONE AGREES THAT PRE-NEED SALES
are essential to the ongoing financial health
of funeral homes, but many firms continue
to have a tough time figuring out exactly what
their approach should be—especially in the rapidly
changing deathcare landscape.
This has been an issue for several years, but it appears to
be more noticeable than ever in 2020.
• Some firms have in-house salespeople.
• Some contract out to pre-need marketing companies.
• Some … well, some don’t do anything. They just sit back
and hope for the best.
I hope you are having luck with options one or two,
because as you have undoubtedly noticed, option three
doesn’t get the job done.
Now, I realize that not everyone reading this article owns
and/or works for a funeral home. Some of you are cemeteri-
ans. Some of you specialize in cremation services.
Regardless, the points I make in this article are for any
services that typically have a long sales cycle—or at least
one that is commonly not short or immediate.

OCTOBER 2020 MEMENTO MORI 31

NURTURING LEADS THROUGH THE SALES CYCLE

The Making of a Successful Plan

A great salesperson sometimes can rapidly
close a sale on a funeral pre-arrangement
contract or a cemetery plot. However,
the reality is that closing often only
comes after a thoughtful process of first,
intriguing the lead, and second, steadily
nurturing until the close is essentially a
foregone conclusion.

Nurturing leads is one of the bedrock

concepts in sales, especially when you are
selling something that has a significantly
long sales cycle—which is exactly the case
for pre-needs.
For simplicity, I am using pre-arrangements
as the example in this article and focusing on the
funeral home perspective. But the lesson is that nur-
turing should be a core component of any sales process 2. nurturing those leads until they are ready to act
that has a sales cycle of more than a week or two. 3. closing the sale
With pre-need sales being so important to a funeral Granted, a funeral home owner who puts any
home’s future—especially in these uncertain times, with effort into growing pre-needs is undoubtedly familiar
direct cremation disrupting the landscape for at-need with the first and third steps—or at least the basics of
cases—you need to create a dedicated plan for growing them. And most target family members and friends/
pre-need sales. associates of a recent decedent as potential leads. And
The plan needs to comprise the following: a hardworking salesperson knows just how to get that
July:Layout 1 6/10/20 8:16 AM Page 1
1. identifying potential pre-need clientele signature on the contract.
But step two? That’s where the ball gets dropped
all the time.
It’s as simple as this: The vast majority of leads
are not ready to commit to pre-arrangement right
from the start. In sales vernacular, they are cold.
Many of them are ice cold.
TM
They might be vaguely aware of the overall
benefits of pre-planning, but like most people, they
Keep
sake Pendants are vaguely aware of the benefits of lots of things,
including the benefits of drinking water through-
The opportunity to choose a out the day, getting eight hours of sleep, and saving
Keepsake Pendant at least 15 percent on car insurance.
presents itself only once. But that doesn’t mean they’ll commit to any of
those things.
The comfort
And most people certainly won’t commit to
a Keepsake Pendant offers,
something as substantial as an advance funeral
lasts a lifetime.
Known for quality materials plan until they are convinced it is worth their
and craftsmanship, hard-earned money. It is your job—or your sales
Madelyn Co. Keepsake Pendants representative’s job—to do the convincing.
are hand-made using jewelry-grade metals. This is where we acknowledge the obvious
call about monthly specials or visit our website “elephant” in the room: funeral directors are not
necessarily dedicated salespeople. Their role is to
800-788-0807 Fax 608-752-3683 www.madelynpedants.com e-mail [email protected]
serve families and the community well.

32 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

 Sure, some are great at sales. They un- not blazing hot leads. The amount of time cycle, you need to nurture those leads.
derstand that it’s an important aspect of the varied, of course, but over half of them took Some will start off ice cold, some cold, some
job. But it’s just that: an aspect. at least five months to seal the deal, and warm, some relatively hot.
However, when it comes to pre-needs, over a quarter needed up to two years. If you need to grow pre-need sales at
sales cannot be just a secondary consider- your funeral home, you—or your pre-need
ation. It’s the whole kit and kaboodle. Nurturing Cold, Hot, and Blazing sales director, if you are large enough to
Hot Leads have one—need to focus on identifying
Adopting a Sales Mentality When you are dealing with a long sales where each lead is in the sales cycle.
When it comes to pre-arranging, you need
to fully adopt a sales mentality. Nurtur-
ing leads is one of the bedrock concepts
in sales, especially when you are selling Two More Projects
something that has a significantly long Under Our Belt!!!
sales cycle—which is exactly the case for
pre-needs.
In Homesteaders Life Company’s guide
to pre-need sales, the agency notes that
“many consumers need a couple of years
after first considering prearrangement be-
fore they are ready to complete an advance
/2020
funeral plan.” on 6/30
A couple of years! Talk about a (poten-
tially) long sales cycle.
Specifically, of those who had commit-
ted to such a plan, 27 percent said at least
two years had passed between (1) their first
thoughts on pre-arranging and (2) actually
completing the paperwork.
The timeframe was one to two years for
another 8 percent, and five months to a year
for another 18 percent. St. Stephen’s Cemetery - Cremation Garden Phase 1
Archdiocese of Cincinnati (Hamilton, OH)
That means a full 53 percent of those
surveyed took between five months and two
years to finally sign on the dotted line.
Granted, some people make up their
minds much faster. A full 19 percent
of respondents signed a contract in the
first two weeks after considering funeral
pre-arrangement.
On average, 1 out of every 5 people
decides he or she shouldn’t wait at all. In
sales, those are blazing hot leads. They 20
/20
6/24
don’t require nurturing. You just have to get on
the papers in front of them and graciously Smith Life & Legacy - The Grandview Legacy Trail
accept the check. (Maryville, TN)

Those sorts of sales come easily, of

course. But for some funeral homes, those
are the only contracts they get. They nail
down the blazing hot leads because doing
so requires virtually no effort. It’s like being
the only open pub in town on St. Patrick’s
Day.
3212 Richards Ln, Ste B
But that also means about 80 percent of Santa Fe, NM 87507 6 4 2 4 3 7 www.columbariumbydesign.com
Click or Call 877-7Niches.com [email protected]
people who eventually pre-arranged were

OCTOBER 2020 MEMENTO MORI 33

NURTURING LEADS THROUGH THE SALES CYCLE

Who’s cold? Who’s

warm? Who’s hot? How
do we move someone
from cold to warm, from
warm to hot, from hot to
signing the contract?
In sales across a variety of
industries, it is common that once you
have identified a potential group of leads,
about 50 percent will never contract with you, no You are not trying to push people into
matter what you do. You could have the perfect solutions to that
business’s pain points and spend years communicating that fact, but making decisions before they are ready.
you’re simply never going to close that sale.
You are letting them know how beneficial
About 8 percent will be hot right out of the gate. These are leads
you can convert into clientele quickly—let’s say in about three pre-planning can be, letting them come
months. They are interested almost immediately, and they do not
need a lot of nurturing.
to that realization in their own time.
Removing that 58 percent from the equation (50 percent cold, 8
percent hot), we are then left with 42 percent. These we will consid- Adding a Sweater: Lead Warming
er warm. So how do you warm up that 42 percent? One of the most reliable
That’s where your main focus needs to be—on that 42 percent. methods is email marketing. The technique has been overlooked
The work should go into getting that 42 percent to heat up and lately as fresher, flashier marketing methods have surfaced, but
eventually contract with you for an advance funeral plan. email still works—and it works well.
That is especially true of the 60-and-over demographic, which
remains the core target group for pre-need sales campaigns. The
Homesteaders study showed that people ages 62–92 comprise 90
NORTH AMERICA
percent of all Americans who pre-arrange.
STRASSACKER A successful email campaign educates people of your communi-
ty in that demographic on the benefits of pre-arrangement. That’s
the nurturing process.
You are not trying to push people into making decisions before
they are ready. You are letting them know how beneficial pre-plan-
ning can be, letting them come to that realization in their own time.
Another important technique is retargeting. This digital mar-
keting tool lets your funeral home market pre-arrangement services
to people who have visited your website.
How it works is a bit technical, but the short version is that
your digital advertisements will continue to be displayed to these
visitors long after they have left your website. These ads will show

Cremation Memorialization up on many of the websites people visit, sites that are entirely
unrelated to deathcare.
We offer a full range of products in bronze, Retargeting campaigns must be carefully managed so people
aluminum and stainless steel and specialize in don’t feel like they’re being “stalked” by your ads, which is why
customization. From small grave monuments responsible, professional marketers are conservative about how
to glass niches, Strassacker Bronze can frequently ads appear and how long they will continue to display.
partner with you to help serve the needs of your Ultimately, the key is to not just ignore the 42 percent of
customer, in providing your families the ultimate leads who don’t immediately convey an avid interest in signing
personal touch in honoring and remembering a pre-arrangement contract. Get a plan in place, identify people
their loved ones when they choose cremation.
in your community who are interested in pre-planning, and start
your nurturing.
Strassacker Bronze America LLC
Welton Hong is the founder of Ring Ring Marketing and the author of
www.shop.strassacker.com | 859.534.5218
Making Your Phone Ring with Internet Marketing for Funeral Homes,
sales @ strassackerbronze.com
2019 Edition.

34 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

Who Supplies
the Suppliers?
For funeral and cemetery suppliers, business
has never been more isolating. Often ideas
are done in a vacuum. What you know is only
Ad Name
what you know, which limits how far you can

Page 35
go. IMSA membership can change that. We’ve
brought together some of the top industry
experts to offer our members free one-on-
one advice on marketing, business planning,
legal issues and more. We also bring to
our members insightful business-boosting
webinars, meaningful industry resources and
networking with other IMSA members. All this
for just $175 a year. We’re the only association
serving all funeral and cemetery suppliers.
Because what’s good for the suppliers is
good for the providers and that’s good for the
families. IMSA. Supplying opportunity.

www.IMSA-Online.com

IMSA members now get free consultation with Dan Katz & Rolf Gutknecht of LA ads, Jake Johnson
of Johnson Consulting, Ryan Thogmartin of Disrupt Media and Poul Lemasters of Lemasters Consulting.
CELEBRATING ITALIAN AMERICAN HERITAGE MONTH

Famous People
and Where
They Are
Dr. Rita Levi-Montalcini (1909–2012)
Buried at Cimitero Monumentale di Torino,
Buried
Dean Martin, Actor/Singer (1917–1995)
Buried at Westwood Memorial Park, Los Angeles,
Piemonte, Italy; born Turin, Italy CA; born Steubenville, Jefferson County, OH

Rita Levi-Montalcini was an Italian American neurologist who Born Dino Paul Crocetti in
won a share of the 1986 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine. Stuebenville, Dean Martin
Renowned for her work in neurobiology, she is believed to have performed various job duties:
revolutionized the study of neural development through her work. a steel mill worker, a service
Her research in cell growth and nerve networks paved the way for station attendant, a gambler,
further investigations, which shed new light on the treatment of and a professional boxer. As a
diseases like dementia and cancer. boxer, Dean fought under the
The daughter of a Jewish engineer and mathematician, she grew name of “Kid Crochet.”
up in a loving home with an intellectually stimulating environment. In 1946, his life would
Her father was a conservative person, and he discouraged his change forever when he met a
daughters from pursuing professional careers. However, Rita was very hard working, young up-
an intelligent and rebellious young woman who chose to become start named Jerry Lewis. This
a doctor despite her father’s initial opposition. She entered the would mark the beginning of
University of Turin and graduated with a summa cum laude degree one of Hollywood’s greatest
in Medicine and Surgery. teams. During the next 11
The 1930s marked a politically tumultuous period in Italy and years and 16 films, the team
Jews were barred from academic and professional careers. Forced of Martin and Lewis not only
into hiding during the German occupation of Italy during World brought about super-stardom, but it also brought a lot of personal
War II, Rita moved to the United conflicts. These conflicts not only led to their break-up, but the hurt
States after the war and established was felt by the two for a great number of years.
a successful career as a neurologist. After the Martin-Lewis split, a 1960 film, “Ocean’s Eleven,”
She helped establish the Insti- would bring with it the ever famous “rat pack” label, teamed with
tute of Cell Biology in Rome and Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr., Joey Bishop, and Peter Lawford.
became its first director. Rita, in This proved to be an enduring bond among these greats. Dean’s
collaboration with her colleague, film career continued until 1965, when he made a daring venture
Stanley Cohen, discovered the into television with “The Dean Martin Show.” He hosted this show
nerve growth factor (NGF), which until 1973 and earned a Golden Globe award.
was the first of many cell-growth By adding a panel of some of Hollywood’s biggest names, the
factors to be found in the bodies “Dean Martin’s Celebrity Roast” was formed. The show’s run ended
of animals. NGF plays a critical in 1984. In 1987, his son, Dean Paul Martin, was killed in a plane
role in the regulation of both crash. Dean resigned to a solitary life until his death on Christmas
innate and acquired immunity. day. In his personal life, Dean was married three times and had sev-
Rita received the National Medal en children and one step daughter. As a singer, “Dino” was extreme-
of Science, the highest American ly popular with the Italian segment of society. Dean has three stars
scientific honor, in 1987. on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Bio by: Paul Duncan

36 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

Joseph Barbera, Hanna-Barbera (1911–2006)
Buried at Forest Lawn Memorial Park (Glendale), Glendale, CA; born Little Italy, Manhattan, NY

Joseph Roland Barbera was an American Disney’s “The Skeleton Dance” (1929).
animator, film director, and television pro- Shortly after, he started working as a free-
ducer. He was the co-founder of the com- lance cartoonist. Some of his print cartoons
pany, Hanna-Barbera, with his longtime were published in Redbook, the Saturday
partner, William Hanna. Joseph was born Evening Post, and Collier’s.
in an Italian-American family. His parents Hanna and Barbera co-directed
were barbershop-owner Vincent Barbera 114 “Tom and Jerry” animated shorts
and Francesca Calvacca; both Italian immi- (1940–1957) along with “The Flintstones”
grants from Sicily. (1960–1966) whose success helped establish
Months following his birth, the family Hanna-Barbera Productions as the leader in
moved to Flatbush, Brooklyn, where he television animation.
was raised. During his high school years, Joseph died in December 2006, at the
Joseph worked as a tailor’s delivery boy. age of 95. He had never fully retired and
He excelled in boxing and won a number was still working at the time of his death.
of titles, but decided against becoming a His legacy includes more than 100 televi-
professional boxer. In 1929, he first became sion series, and a large number of enduring
interested in animation, after viewing Walt characters. Bio by Dimos I.

Frank Sinatra, Actor/Singer (1915–1998)

Buried at Desert Memorial Park, Cathedral City, Riverside, CA; born Hoboken, NJ

Regarded by many as the greatest popular singer of the 20th Century, Frank
Sinatra was nicknamed “The Voice,” “Ol’ Blue Eyes,” and “Chairman of the
Board.” Born Francis Albert Sinatra, the son and only child of an Italian immi-
grant fireman; his mother, Dolly, was a midwife.
Frank would marry his first wife, Nancy, and their union produced his
children, Nancy, Frank Jr., and Tina. He launched his Hollywood career with
singing and dancing, as well as acting roles in several memorable pictures,
including “On the Town” (1949), co-starring with Gene Kelly, which featured
the score “New York, New York.”
In 1950, his career endured a major setback, when he suffered a hemor-
rhaged vocal cord due to his extreme concert schedule. His breakthrough role
as an actor would be in the Oscar-garnered “From Here to Eternity” (1953),
for which he received an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor and
earned respect as an accomplished dramatic performer. This was followed by
“Guys and Dolls” (1955), “The Man With the Golden Arm” (1955), “The Joker
Is Wild” (1957), “Pal Joey” (1957), and “The Manchurian Candidate” (1962).
His singing career was also back on track, this time with a richer vocal
style heard in the hits “In the Wee Small Hours” (1956), “Come Fly With
Me” (1956), “Nice n’ Easy” (1960), “My Way” (1969), and “Theme From New
York New York” (1980). He received Grammy Awards for the singles, “It Was
a Very Good Year” (1966) and “Strangers in the Night” (1967), also for the
albums “September of My Years” and “A Man and His Music” (1967).
Not long after celebrating his 80th birthday in 1995, Frank’s health began
to decline as he suffered a heart attack in November 1996 and a fatal one on
May 14, 1998. Bio by C.S.

OCTOBER 2020 MEMENTO MORI 37

Prose for I Never Saw Your Wings
the
Quietus How is it that I never saw your wings
when you were here with me?
When you closed your eyes

of
Life
and soared to the Heavens
I could hear the faint flutter
of your wings as you left.
Your body no longer on this side
your spirit here eternally
I see your halo shine.
I close my eyes and see
the multicolored wings surround me
in my saddest moments and my happiest times.
Mother, my angel, God has given you your assignment
always my mother, forever my angel.
You fly into my dreams, and when I am asleep
I feel your wings brush against my face
wiping away the tears I shed
since I can no longer hold you in my arms
but in my heart.
You earned those wings, dear mother
and you will always be my angel eternal.
—Michele

SHUTTERSTOCK / EAKACHAI LEESIN

38 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

 In fact, it's a new day for all of us. Not only do
visitors to your facility want an atmosphere free of
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 DID YOU KNOW …
Celebrities Who Died on Halloween

1926 1965 1984 1993 2006

Harry Houdini Rita Johnson Indira Gandhi River Phoenix P.W. Botha
[Erich Weisz], American actress Fourth prime American actor President of South
magician, dies in (Honolulu, All Mine minister of India (Stand By Me, Indiana Africa (1984–89)
Detroit of gangrene to Give), dies from (1966–77, 1980–84), Jones), dies of drug and prime minister
and peritonitis that a brain hemorrhage assassinated by two overdose at 23 (1978–84), dies at 90
developed after his at 53 of her bodyguards
appendix ruptured at 66

40 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

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CEMETERY IMPOSSIBLE

Hiring and Retaining

the Best for Your Business
by Dan Isard, MSFS

E
VERY SERVICE BUSINESS HAS THE SAME PROBLEM. The business needs counselor’s criterion could be “completes
staffing. The business not only needs the right number of staff, the business needs contracts and forms accurately and on a
good staff. In the cemetery, funeral, and hybrid combo world, we may also need staff timely basis.” This might carry a weight of
with some licensure, which limits our hiring pool even more. What is the solution? For me, 20%. You can use “A through F,” like school,
there is a four-part solution. to rank each employee. If this person has
a B grade, for example, that might equal a
Part 1: Understanding the Job Based on the applicant’s skills, you can score of 8 (Excellent might = 10, Average =
In a cemetery, there are usually three areas better prepare your financial budget. Usu- 6, Below Average = 4, and Failure = 0). That
of employment delineated by whether the ally, a job pays in a range (either specified score times the weight gives an overall skill
work is indoors or outdoors. The outdoor by hourly wage or weekly/monthly/annual set review. Add the score for each skill set
world involves the property people who salary). If someone is marginally qualified and you have an overall grade.
work on openings, closings, property main- and you want to hire that person, you would In the above example, this person scored
tenance, and equipment maintenance. The pay on the low end of the range, versus an 8.2, which would be a B. (See Figure 1.)
indoor world includes the administrative someone eminently qualified who would You would be able to use this as a com-
staff who handles the billing, recordkeeping, be paid on the higher end of the range. If parative review as well. Each year, you can
and regulatory compliance. The people who you are not sure, hire someone on the lower contrast how your employees are doing in
straddle the world spending some time in- end and give raises as you see that person’s these skills.
doors and some outdoors are the sales team. competency develop. That is easier than You could do an additional analysis by
In a funeral home, there are usually three paying him or her more only to find out rating this person on soft skills, such as
areas of employment delineated by whether later that the person you hired isn’t worthy communication, assuming responsibility,
a license is required to perform the job. The of the higher compensation. teamwork, and understanding the business.
office people and the support service people When writing a job description, employ This soft-skills analysis would have the same
(working funerals) do not need a license. the services of the people who are currently rating method and weight methodology. If
The funeral directing staff needs a license. A doing the job. Include other staff members you add this second level of review, you can
hybrid position, the pre-need selling people, who may have done the job in the past and add the results from one to the other and
may need a license depending on state law are now fulfilling another job within your come up with a blended score. Again, any-
and depending on how you elect to fund the organization. You can hire an HR firm to one at a B or A would usually be keepers.
pre-arranged accounts. Obviously, a combi- help you. This is critical to helping you
nation business must bifurcate its HR needs understand the ability to judge your current Part 3: Recruiting When the Job
predicated upon the conflicting service staff (see below) and your staff to be recruit- Has a Vacancy
models of funeral or cemetery services. ed (see even further below). Each job should Recruiting, in my opinion, has a three-part
Regardless of the service model or the have its own job description. methodology. First is identifying reasonable
jobs within each service model, all jobs compensation. All jobs have compensation
should be filled the same way. Each job Part 2: Retaining Who You and identifying how much the range of
should have a professionally written job Currently Have Doing the Job compensation is for your area of the world
description. A job description is a formal Armed with a job description, you can now is the starting place since you already have
listing of the duties, responsibilities, and assess the ability of your current staff. Your the job description.
requirements to fulfill any employee’s job. assessment would be a checklist; and within To determine the range of compensa-
A job description is best to present before each point, you can evaluate the merit of tion, you can do your own research. Look at
you hire someone or even before you begin the person’s performance. the job description and find other jobs with
your search. Otherwise, how do you know if Identify five criteria for each job descrip- similar tasks/skills. You can look online on
an applicant is well-qualified for the job? It tion. Rank them in order of most important job sites to see what this range is. Then you
should cover a list of prerequisites, such as to least important and weight each skill so might add a premium since funeral homes
licensing or skills or experience. they total 100 percent. For example, a sales or cemeteries have an “icky” factor to them.

42 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

Figure 1. Performance Evaluation
The eco-friendly
Performance Overall alternative to cremation
Skill Weight Grade Result
and burial
Selling 30% B 2.4
Completing Paperwork 25% B 2.0
Following up with Consumers 20% A 2.0
Being Active in Community 15% B 1.2
Providing Leadership within Company 10% C 0.6
Total 8.2

If a secretary is needed, which pays $50,000, The employee experience consists of

you might set your salary at $52,000. This working, driving to work, driving from
should give someone added reason to want work, and talking/thinking about work
to come to work in your environment. while at home. The workplace experi- Pet Systems
Second is getting job applicants to apply. ence consumes about 60 hours a week.
Don’t just put up a flag in front of your If you perceive that the waking time in
business that says, “We Are Hiring.” Each a typical week is about 108 hours, this
job has a specific possible recruiting source. means the workplace experience con-
If you are a steady and reliable year-round sumes almost 59 percent of your waking
employer, your property-focused jobs may time. Employers need to make this a
have more candidates. For administrative positive experience; otherwise, their
and support jobs, you may want to offer employees will choose to dedicate this
your current staff people a $250 bonus if time someplace else.
they refer someone who is hired and re- Make sure your workplace tools are cus-
tained for a certain period. LinkedIn is also tomized for each employee. It is important
very effective as are other social networking to have good desks, possibly the type that
sites. move up and down, and ergonomic chairs
Third is screening the candidates. Initial in addition to good monitors for admin-
screening can take place online via video istrative staff. Individual e-mail addresses Human Systems
calls. If writing is a part of the job, ask increase communication efficiency. A break
them for a writing sample. Narrow down room that is stocked with healthy snacks
“Since offering Aquamation
the group to a few for on-site interviews. can be a pleasant distraction. Food trucks
our market share has
If you use an employment application, be are also popular. Allowing employees to
increased dramatically.
sure you are using the most recent form as use headphones or play quiet music takes
Families have driven out of
you can violate someone’s civil rights if you the stress out of a stress-filled workplace.
their way to come to us,
use an old form. Talk to an HR professional Training and education make an employee
passing 4 or 5 of our
if you are not certain about the form you feel valued.
competitors to ensure
are using. Have several people interview Do any or do all the above. But be sure
Aquamation is used for
the candidate and let the candidate know to do something to make your employees
their loved one.”
how much time to allocate for this on-site feel appreciated.
interview.
Dan Isard, MSFS, is president of
The Foresight Companies LLC, a
Part 4: Make the Employee’s Job
Phoenix-based business and
Performance Better management consulting firm
By now, we have organized the job descrip- specializing in mergers and
tions, reviewed the existing employees to acquisitions, valuations,
confirm we have the right people in the accounting, financing HR services
right jobs, and have begun to hire for the www.aquamationinfo.com
and family surveys. He is the author of several
jobs that the existing staff is not suited for. books and hundreds of published articles in (317) 386-3500
Now, you need to consistently keep morale industry magazines, including “The Director’s
high and encourage retention. Employers Finance 101” column. He can be reached at
can improve the outlook of the employ- [email protected] or
ees by focusing on a positive employee 800.426.0165.
experience.

OCTOBER 2020 MEMENTO MORI 43

ANOTHER BLACK DRESS

What Is the True Death Toll of the Pandemic?

by Stephanie Longmuir

A
s Australia enters the second week of a Stage 4 lockdown, and Coronavirus deaths therapeutic value of writing down thoughts
set a grim new record in my state of Victoria, my mind is on the deaths that, and memories. Often, just sitting with a pen
although not part of the official death count, are a consequence of this devastating and paper and dwelling on the past then
pandemic. trying to put those thoughts into words
helps in processing grief and sadness. After
Three weeks ago, I led a service for Jean, taking the call from David’s sister last week,
a remarkable 96-year-old mother of 6,
Please reach out to those I needed to take my own advice.
grandmother of 9, great grandmother of 22, in need and help them Whilst leading David’s service was going
and great-great grandmother of 4. She had to be very difficult and very sad, it was also
lived a long and fruitful life, filled with good
find the answers they an honor to be entrusted by the family once
health and good friends. seek and the help they again with such an important job. Further-
On Friday afternoon, I led a service for more, it forced me to sit down and dwell
her youngest son, David, who took his life. so desperately need. on the short time that I had known David
He was just 60. and to put into words the struggle that I felt
Was it the crushing grief and immense When I got news of David’s death, I was having learnt of his untimely death.
sadness of his mother’s loss, or the isolation shocked and shaken. I had witnessed his As expected, Friday was a tough day and
and loneliness of the COVID lockdown and sadness in the lead-up to Jean’s funeral. As so very sad. It has taken me a weekend of
the feeling of being trapped in the family we made arrangements, he was very tearful rest and yoga, dog walks, and lots of hugs
home with only his memories? Or was it out and clearly distressed on the day of the from my family to feel a little better.
of desperation after having lost a job that he service. But my most enduring memory of I truly believe that in the process of
loved and needed or the frustration from David is watching him enjoying a cup of tea putting together that beautiful funeral
being unable to access help from an over- with his family after the service; this gave service, a service that mourned David’s
whelmed mental health system? I will never me hope that he would be ok. loss whilst also remembering the good and
know, but I suspect it was all of the above. I often talk to my families about the happy times in his life, I found some peace
and comfort. I can only hope that his family
did, too.
If you or someone you love is experienc-
ing difficulties with loss and grief, there is
help available. Please reach out to those in
need and help them find the answers they
seek and the help they so desperately need.
The names have been changed to protect
the family’s privacy.

Stephanie Longmuir is an
end-of-life celebrant, podcaster,
and consultant. She has been
serving the families of Melbourne
and Sydney, Australia, since 2009,
creating unique and meaningful
services. Determined to better
prepare and inform families, in 2015, Stephanie
founded www.myendnotes.com, Australia’s first
digital funeral planning service; in 2017, she
launched a podcast series, “Dying to Tell.”
Stephanie is a skilled writer and speaker and has
been invited by ICCFA, NFDA, and AFDA to
present at their annual conferences.

44 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

 Trailblazer.
Leader.
Influencer.
Role Model.
Icon.

{ And now, he’s

all ours. }
If you say the name John McQueen succeeded in all of them. Now, he’s
to just about anyone in the funeral bringing his wealth of knowledge and
profession who has ever met John, wisdom to Foresight clients. It says a lot
they’ll describe him using many of that John has chosen to join our team.
the words listed above. John has But it says even more about those
launched funeral homes, pet who are smart enough to call
cremation services and us now and start receiving
numerous innovations in insight from the best in
his market. And he has the business!

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SUCCESSION PLANNING | MERGERS & ACQUISITIONS | ACCOUNTING
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ABOVE GROUND

I See Dead People!

Video Company Enables Virtual Graveside Visits
by Gail Rubin, CT

B
ROOKLYN-BASED TECH ENTREPRENEUR JOSEPH SCHECHTER has run ensure communications are discreet. Each
successful camera businesses, specializing in back-up cameras for trucks, buses, camera is $499. 
and other commercial vehicles since 2007. Four years ago, his father died of cancer The HD cameras look like a light fixture
at the age of 64, sparking a career-altering idea that would not only change his business trained on the memorial marker. A small
but positively impact those around him by enabling a forever connection to lost loved ones solar panel on top of the battery is angled
despite geographic boundaries. to shed snow and debris. Fully charged,
the battery lasts 23 days during a stretch of
On the first anniversary of his father’s whisper from a loved one. The first time she cloudy weather. A built-in speaker enables
death, Joseph’s sister was distraught that connected with her father through AFTR, speech and low-volume music through the
she couldn’t make it back to New York City she cried. app. A green laser light gently illuminates
to be with the family and pay her respects After seeing how often his sister con- the marker when the app is used in the dark.
in person. The wheels began to turn as nects with their father using the AFTR The hardware went through 100 prototypes,
Joseph pondered ways to solve this problem camera system, Joseph also started virtually ensuring its durability and unobtrusiveness.
through the use of cameras—his specialty. visiting and speaking with his father. “My The cameras are connected to a smart-
How might cameras connect people to father and I didn’t have much of a verbal phone app that allows the user to check
their loved ones in cemeteries? How can relationship while he was alive,” Joseph in at any time. The app includes a host of
a virtual cemetery visit be emotionally admitted. “Today, I’m closer to him than helpful and emotionally supportive features
gratifying from a distance? And how can ever before.” with two plans:
cemeteries benefit from providing a way • The Peace of Mind Plan, $4.99 a
for people to stay connected to their loved Up Close and Personal month, provides a daily photo of the
ones? AFTR was founded in 2018 and debuted headstone plus all the app features to
The answer became AFTR. Using an to the public and the deathcare industry one subscriber.
early prototype camera in the cemetery at in 2020. The company developed two • The Stay Connected Plan, $12.99 a
their father’s grave, Joseph created a virtual all-weather cameras, the MountCam™ month, provides a live video stream
visitation experience for his sister where she and GroundCam™, both of which can be and access for multiple users on the
was able to connect to her father’s burial attached to any headstone or gravesite. The same account. Up to nine people can
site through an app on her smartphone. cameras are solar powered and capture HD be listed as possible users, and up to
She could see the headstone and hear the video and audio, and they are equipped five users can log in simultaneously
ambient sound. She spoke to her father with night vision and laser technology. with full HD video on their devices.
and her words came through at his grave, a Built-in microphones pick up audio and If stolen, AFTR will replace the camera
at no charge. The missing camera is then
turned off remotely and no longer works
outside the AFTR system. 
It’s an especially timely development giv-
en the current obstacles to in-person events
and physical distancing requirements
caused by the coronavirus pandemic. “The
app, available 24/7, is the cornerstone of
our company,” said Joseph. “What typically
happens in a cemetery visit? People come,
lean over, speak in a low voice. The app al-
lows you to speak to your loved one at a low
decibel, heard only at the grave to ensure
privacy. There’s also a built-in microphone
so you can hear the surrounding sounds of
the cemetery.”

46 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

You may not find Rainbow City, AL on any list of popular destinations. But if you’re
a funeral home depending on a family’s insurance to cover the expenses, it’s the
biggest red dot on the map. It’s the headquarters of C&J Financial, the largest and
most responsive insurance assignment firm serving the funeral profession. With all
the tools, technologies and high-touch service to assure blazingly fast turnaround
when you need it most. If cash flow is vital to your business, welcome home.

To 3,000 funeral home owners,

Rainbow City, AL is the
happiest place on earth.

& You
CJF.com | 800.785.0003 | 200 Market Way, Rainbow City, AL 35906
ABOVE GROUND

The app, available on Apple and Android

devices, works on all LTE networks. It “We bridge the consumer to the cemetery in a way
includes a connection to Spotify accounts,
so people can share favorite songs and that allows re-engagement with past customers to
music while visiting with their loved one.
There’s a diary section to record thoughts
generate fresh income.”
and milestone events with text, video, or —Joseph Schechter
audio. There’s also a time-lapse feature so
subscribers can watch a compilation of
once-a-day images of the headstone that Even if the AFTR camera and plan are consumer to the cemetery in a way that
tracks time passing by in the cemetery. not purchased through a certified location allows re-engagement with past custom-
“We do everything from our phones kiosk, the cemetery can still get a $100 ers to generate fresh income,” said Joseph.
right now,” said Joseph. “It only makes sense placement bonus for every camera installed. “Cemeteries are responding very positively.
that something like this comes along for our Additionally, the cemetery still gets 20 per- It’s a way to generate additional income
smartphones.” cent of every monthly subscription. today and in the future.”
The AFTR app provides the option for To learn more about AFTR, visit www.
What’s in It for Me? the cemetery to generate even more income AFTR.live.
AFTR’s business model is designed to with concierge services, such as placing Pioneering death educator and
benefit the cemeteries that offer the service. wreaths and flowers on the burial site, me- Doyenne of Death® Gail Rubin is a
AFTR provides a kiosk, a “silent salesper- morial candles and prayers, and enhanced certified thanatologist, a certified
son,” with a tablet screen that provides all memorial cleaning. It also offers opportuni- funeral celebrant, and an advocate
the marketing information and sign-up op- ties for re-engagement, including promo- of pre-need funeral planning. She
is an author, speaker, blogger, and
tions. When a customer purchases a camera tion of burial property at the cemetery and
YouTube video creator. Her
from an AFTR kiosk, the cemetery gets 30 pre-planning opportunities.
website, www.AGoodGoodbye.com, offers free
percent of the retail price per camera and “A typical cemetery has a fixed amount resources to help people manage their end-of-life
20 percent of the monthly subscription fees. of real estate and income. We bridge the information and plan ahead.

’s
®

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48 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

INDUSTRY UPDATE

NEW PROJECTS eCondolence.com and shiva.com, the leading companies modernizing

Premier Preneed Marketing, a preeminent pre-need company that the death industry, has released “Virtual Gathering,” the first of its kind
offers funeral homes throughout the United States a comprehensive online gathering tool that can be used for wakes, shivas, memorials,
product portfolio to meet both their financial objectives and marketing and other gatherings that honor and remember a loved one. Now,
needs, announced a one-of-a-kind Test Drive promotion. The program eCondolence and shiva.com are the only companies to deliver a com-
offers funeral homes the opportunity to try an impressive suite of on- plete end-of-life platform that includes online funeral arrangements,
line marketing tools from Ring Ring Marketing for 60 days at no cost ViewneralsTM, and virtual memorial gatherings in addition to grief and
to the funeral home. The program is available to Premier customers, aftercare services including concierge services, access to local caterers,
regardless if they currently have a robust in-house marketing team or bakeries, delis, sympathy baskets, and other commemorative services.
are presently working with a different marketing company.
ON THE MOVE
NEW PRODUCTS Thacker Caskets has announced the retirement of Sandy Saucier and
Mopec, a leading provider of American-made medical equipment, Lounell Badgett.
mortuary and laboratory products has announced the Guardian Rack Sandy and Lounell are retiring from Thacker after many years of
system, a rack and tray system designed to provide immediate remains dedicated service. It is Sandy’s 40th year with Thacker Caskets! Sandy
storage capacity during surge situations. The Guardian Rack System is the pinnacle example of loyalty and dedication. Lounell has celebrat-
is a first-in-class solution to remains storage capacity issues, and was ed her 34th year with Thacker Caskets. Lounell has been part of the
engineered for quick assembly/disassembly and suitable for use in re- backbone crew who has kept the internal processes afloat while larger
frigerated trailers or cooled structures. It is available in 3–, 4–, or 5-tiers projects were being conducted that continued to move the company
and is manufactured in Mopec’s Michigan facility. forward.

50 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

Your Cremation Urn Source! THE ANSWERING SERVICE IN A CLASS OF ITS OWN

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MEMBER NEWS

The Grief Journey Does Not End

with the Funeral
Remembering the El Paso Massacre
GRIEF WELLNESS COMPANY Eterneva
has partnered with Perches Funeral Homes to
acknowledge the one-year anniversary of the
tragic shooting at a Walmart in El Paso, TX,
on August, 3, 2019, in which 23 people were
killed. At the time, Perches Funeral Homes Eterneva is donating a memorial diamond are honored to be a part of Jessica and her
had committed its resources to helping the to the family of Guillermo “Memo” Garcia. family’s journey toward healing, even if our
families of the victims who died at the scene, Garcia passed away after a nine-month stay memorial diamond can only provide a small
offering free funeral services. This spring, the in the hospital following the heartbreaking source of comfort in their tremendous loss. As
23rd victim of the El Paso shooting died in event. Garcia was outside the store with a grief wellness organization, we know that a
the hospital, a father who jumped in front of his family while fundraising for the El Paso grief journey is not over after a funeral, and
his family to protect them when the shooting Fusion Soccer Club when the gunman opened how important it is to keep someone’s story
began. fire. His wife, Jessica, was also shot, but was and legacy alive after they pass.”
Together, Perches Funeral Homes and released from the hospital. Memorial diamonds offer a unique option
Eterneva are gifting the victim’s widow a “As Texans, we were absolutely horrified to those looking for a way to honor their loved
personalized grief journey and a new memo- to learn about the tragic event that took ones, and Eterneva strives to focus on remem-
rial option offered by Eterneva to honor his place in El Paso last summer,” said Adelle bering the way individuals lived, rather than
remarkable life and the ultimate sacrifice. Archer, co-founder and CEO of Eterneva. “We the way they died.

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52 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

 A Green Funeral Partnership
Provides Eco-Friendly Options
Memorial Reefs International has partnered
with Destination Destiny in bringing diverse
green burial options to families in need.
Memorial Reefs International provides families
and their loved ones a unique final resting
place that creates and perpetuates marine
reef ecosystems, essential to facilitating fish
biomass restoration and coral regeneration.
While Destination Destiny is the premiere
eco-friendly funeral disposition company
offering a variety of green funerals, and
provides diverse choices to families when it
matters most. They are now available to pro-
vide Undersea Memorial Gardens off the coast
of Ocean City, NJ.
The mission at Memorial Reefs Interna-
tional is rehabilitation and protection of the
world’s ocean ecosystems through the de-
velopment and use of ecologically
sound artificial reef technology. The
concrete used for a Memorial Reef
has a pH balance that matches the
ocean and the structure contains no
rebar. This means a Memorial Reef
will last hundreds of years, serving
as a home for substantial marine
life. Memorial Reefs offers your fam-
ily the opportunity to gather around
and connect in a marine paradise
through a living memorial.
The partnership with Steelman-
town Cemetery though Destination
Destiny brings Memorial Reefs International to and natural burials within their historic cem-
New Jersey, where many families seek greener etery in Woodbine, NJ. Burials are free from
funeral options. This collaboration is perfect, toxic chemicals that can leach into the soil and
as Memorial Reefs International’s Under- the individuals are placed in environmentally
sea Memorial Gardens are located in areas friendly shrouds or wicker caskets.
where natural habitats have been weakened Ed Bixby, founder of Destination Destiny
by climate change and human activity. The and Steelmantown Cemetery, said, “We strive
memorials are specially designed to promote to create a better future by stewarding the
regrowth and revival of local marine life. Each environment while celebrating the life that
individual’s Memorial Reef will help to rebuild was lived and how that individual chose to live
these habitats. their life.”
Destination Destiny and Steelmantown For more information about Memorial
Cemetery seek to do the same on land. They Reefs International, contact Danny Santiago
provide an option that has a significantly at [email protected] or call +1 808-427-
reduced carbon impact and creates a more 5523. Learn more about Memorial Reefs at
intimate funeral option with hand-dug graves www.memorialreefs.international.

OCTOBER 2020 MEMENTO MORI 53

MEMBER NEWS

Shades of Beauty and Positive Change

in the Midst of a Pandemic
WITH EVERYTHING GOING ON in our the USS Constitution placed at the cemetery The individual gardens allow us to create
country and around the globe, you can still in 1932 commemorates all veterans. a very intimate, calming, and serene environ-
see beauty in the world at the Gardens at The Gardens has 38 beautiful, individual ment. Our families tell us about what they
Gethsemane. The Gardens in Boston is nestled gardens each with its own features, ap- would like to experience when visiting The
within the 179-acre Brook Farm and surround- pearance, and special feel. These separate Gardens and we create our gardens around
ed by 1,000 acres of rolling hills, meadows, and gardens allow us to accommodate our diverse those needs.
protected woodlands. The beauty, tranquility, families in practicing their own customs and The Gardens is creating a pond and nine
and safety of our location are evident as soon traditions. waterfalls after visiting China, attending
as you enter; and there is no greener cemetery Paul Treseler (below) was looking to cemetery and funeral conferences, and
than The Gardens at Gethsemane. fill time over the last three months with his studying Feng Shui. We hired two Feng Shui
The Gardens is also on the site of Camp passion of photographing birds. We were the Masters to orient the water feature. The
Andrews, a civil war training ground for the benefactor of his efforts. Red-tailed hawks nest waterfalls will be powered by off-the-grid
2nd Massachusetts Infantry. A cannon from in a pine tree right by our Welcome Center. solar energy.

54 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

 W O N D E R I N G W H AT Y O U R
NEST EGG IS WORTH?

YOUR BUSINESS IS YOUR NEST EGG. BUT PEACE OF MIND COMES FROM
K N O W I N G W H AT T H AT N E S T E G G I S W O R T H .

As a funeral professional, many of the services you provide your REACH OUT TO
families are to protect their “peace of mind” during a difficult time. THE JCG EXPERTS
But what about your peace of mind? As a business owner you have TO LEARN MORE
questions about your financial future; often these questions relate [email protected]
to the value of your business. What is it worth, can family members 480-556-8500

or staff raise the money to buy the business, and if not, who else
would be interested in my business? If you want to know what your
business is worth, give us a call.

JohnsonConsulting.com Created for Partnership. Designed for Business Success.

MEMBER NEWS

OBITUARIES new chair of the board. Sherri has served as

Connecticut Funeral treasurer of JCANA for two years immediately
Directors Association’s prior to this appointment. “I am honored to
Board of Directors and be elected chair of the board of JCANA,” said
Executive Director John F. Sherri. “I’m fortunate to have the support of
Cascio has announced the a dedicated and talented board. We have a
death of the association’s great vision for expanding our organization’s The National Alliance for Grieving Children
president, Alexander J. membership. As I begin my term, I plan to (NAGC) announced that its membership and
Scott, CFSP, CPC, CCSP, 48, of Avon, CT. The continue and expand upon the mission of board of directors has elected Catherine Alicia
CFDA is tremendously saddened by the JCANA’s original founders.” Georges, EdD, RN, FAAN and Jim Price as
unexpected death of friend and fellow funeral members of the board. Their term of service
director. Alex, the beloved 2020 president of began immediately. Catherine is a professor
the CFDA, died on the morning of June 29. and chair of the Department of Nursing at Leh-
man College of the City University of New York
ON THE MOVE and volunteer president of the National Black
Nurses Foundation. She serves on the board
Homesteaders Life has announced the of AARP and is also a fellow of the Ameri-
appointment of Nick Gerhart as executive VP- can Academy of Nursing and the New York
chief innovation officer, effective August 3. In Academy of Medicine, and a lifetime member
his new role, Nick will be responsible for pro- of the National Black Nurses Association. Jim
actively seeking out and developing opportu- has over 50 years of experience in the funeral
nities to optimize company growth through profession and is a third-generation funeral
The Board of Directors of the Jewish Ceme- innovation that is consistent with Homestead- director. Jim is senior vice-president, Industry
tery Association of North America (JCANA) ers’ core values, purpose, and vision. Relations, for Park Lawn Corporation. Jim
has elected Sherri Quint as the organization’s currently serves on the International Ceme-

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56 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

tery, Cremation & Funeral Association (ICCFA) PARTNERSHIPS ization options. FrontRunner’s powerful print
board of directors, ICCFA Governmental Affairs Hilton Funeral Supply has announced a new technology allows Hilton customers to print
Committee, and is currently president of the tech alliance with FrontRunner ­Professional. Shared Memories stationery and keepsake
ICCFA Educational Foundation. He also serves Hilton customers can now print Shared Mem- candles on-demand without paying any
on the advisory board for the Sykes School of ories stationery and keepsake candles from extra fees. For more information about Hilton
Business, Center for the Study of Ethics, at the within FrontRunner’s award-winning software. Funeral Supply, visit www.hiltonfuneralsupply.
University of Tampa. Rather than using stock Microsoft Word com or call 1.800.433.8878.
templates to print stationery, users now have
Frank Kapr, CFSP has been access to more features and greater personal-
installed as the 2020–21
president of the Pennsylva-
nia Funeral Directors
Association (PFDA).
Organized in 1881, PFDA is
one of the largest state
funeral director associations in the nation.
Frank is a lifelong native of Scottdale. He is a
graduate of the Pittsburgh Institute of
Mortuary Science and received his associate’s
degree from Point Park University, Pittsburgh.
He is the president/owner of Frank Kapr
Funeral Home, Inc. He is a five-time recipient
of the National Funeral Directors Association’s
Eagle Award and recently the Golden Eagle
Award for outstanding services.

After just over a year at its current location,

Bogati Urn Company is on the move again.
The company closed July 17, 2020, on its
fourth location in 11 years and will officially
make the move over Labor Day weekend. “It
didn’t take long at our current location to re-
alize that between new products, a significant
increase in new customers, and brisk sales we
would soon need even more space,” said com-
pany founder, Andrea Bogard LeBlanc. Bogati
is headed back to Northgate Business Park
in Sarasota, FL, which is where the company
was located for nine years prior to moving
to its current location. The new building is
more than twice the size of its current space.
Most notably, it features an air-conditioned
warehouse, which will help keep products free
from humidity, and three loading docks, which
will greatly ease the unloading of containers.
The new office also offers plenty of room to
work while keeping safe distances with 15
private offices for both current and new staff.

OCTOBER 2020 MEMENTO MORI 57

MEMBER NEWS

ACQUISITIONS collection fully documented for this accredita- NEW PROJECTS

Foundation Partners tion level, sights were quickly set upon
Group has announced moving to Level III Arboretum Accreditation
the acquisition of status. The Cave Hill Heritage Foundation is
Bermudez Family leading the new accreditation effort, with a
Cremations and goal of obtaining Level III status by the end of
Funerals in Monterey, 2021. It is estimated that there are over 6,000 Mount Auburn Cemetery in Cambridge,
CA. The acquisition of the firm expands the trees on 300 acres, all of which must be MA—America’s first rural cemetery, founded in
Foundation Partners’ network in California to catalogued to fully understand their impact. 1831—has been awarded a National Endow-
eight locations. After over 24 years in the With this move, Cave Hill will join the ment for Humanities (NEH) grant in support
funeral industry, Nick Bermudez opened esteemed category of only four cemeteries of an innovative new project that is making its
Bermudez Family Cremations and Funerals in spanning the globe with such notoriety. The rich and storied history accessible to people
2015. It has since been voted Best Funeral community is invited to support this initiative. all over the world. Spurred by the pandemic
Home in Monterey County four years in a row More information about our project can be that caused the cemetery to temporarily
by the Monterey Herald for its excellent found at: www.cavehillcemetery.com/ close its gates, Meg Winslow, Mount Auburn’s
customer experience. arboretum/. Information about Level III curator of Historical Collections & Archives,
Arboretum Status Requirements can be found launched a unique web platform that in-
FUNDRAISING & DONATIONS at: www.arbnet.org/accreditation/levels-ac- vites volunteers to transcribe 19th-century
Cave Hill Cemetery has creditation/level-iii-criteria. handwritten documents—many never seen
been recognized as a before—that tell the story of the cemetery.
horticultural leader in the Anyone with a computer and internet connec-
United States, joining the tion can participate, working remotely, from
ranks of 10 other the safety of their homes.
cemeteries as a Level II
Accredited Arboretum in 2014. With just a
small portion of the invaluable plant and tree

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58 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

 NEW PRODUCTS

Passages International is extending its line

The Travel Plan by Inman now offers con- of green environmentally friendly products
Passare has released an improved inventory venient payment plans. The new options with new biodegradable body bags. Passages
management feature, which offers a more include (3) and (12) month choices as well as now offers two body bags, one with a zipper
streamlined, automated, and user-friendly one-time payment. “Many people choose to and handles and one with a double-sided
experience for managing inventory sales, pay for funeral and cemetery plans monthly. tape closure. Both biodegradable bags are
transfers, and reporting. “With this new inven- The new payment options will fit perfectly more environmentally-friendly than traditional
tory management feature, users can access with all funeral and cemetery payment plans,” body bags and are suitable for cremation. Our
all their inventory information in one conve- said Dave McComb, CEO of Inman Shipping biodegradable body bag with handles is made
nient place, which gives funeral home staff and the Travel Plan by Inman. The Travel Plan with a biodegradable PEVA (polyethylene
real-time, reliable information to work with,” by Inman is a travel protection product of vinyl acetate) material. The material is PVC-
said Josh McQueen, vice president of Product Inman Shipping Worldwide, the experts in the free, non-chlorinated, odorless, and contains
at Passare. “Funeral home owners and man- shipment of human remains since 1978. antimicrobial properties. This body bag has
agers can also access on-demand reporting, been weight tested to 440 pounds and is
which can help them make more accurate, suitable for removals.
data-driven decisions for their business.”

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OCTOBER 2020 MEMENTO MORI 59

MEMBER NEWS

HONORS & RECOGNITION

Messenger is now a distributor for fine mist spraying devices and

hypochlorous (HOCl) solution. Hypochlorous is an N-listed ingredi-
ent effective against Sars-Cov-2 and in sanitizing hard surfaces. The Funeral Directors Life made #13 on the list of Top 100 Best Companies
solution contains no harsh chemicals, will not irritate the eyes, skin, to Work for in Texas for 2020, marking the sixth recognition for the
nose, or lungs and is people, pet, and food safe. Messenger also offers company since 2014. The awards program was created in 2006 and is
mist spraying devices (battery operated, electric, and hand-held) to a project of Texas Monthly magazine, the Texas Association of Business
apply hypochlorous effectively. Messenger also offers other PPE items (TAB), Texas Society of Human Resource Management (Texas SHRM),
such as face masks, face shields, shoe covers, lab coats, and gel hand and Best Companies Group. This statewide survey and awards program
sanitizer made in the U.S.A. with 70% ethyl alcohol. Hand sanitizer is were designed to identify, recognize and honor the best places of
sold by the case and includes four 1-gallon containers and two hand employment in Texas, benefiting the state’s economy, workforce, and
pumps. For more information about PPE, call 1.800.827.5151 or visit businesses.
www.messengerstationery.com/messenger-products/ppe-supplies.

60 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

 NEWS

Jack Lechner Unanimously Elected to

ICCFA Educational Foundation Board of Trustees
The ICCFA Educational assignment to Arlington any grave, or tour the cemetery using their
Foundation would like to National Cemetery. Five smart phone.
welcome Jack E. Lechner, days later, he reported When Jack departed Arlington National
Jr., CFSP, to its board of in June 2010 as part of a Cemetery, the $71.8 million Millennium Project
trustees. Among many new leadership team em- (adding 27 acres and 27,282 interment/inurn-
things, Jack is a nationally powered to restore honor ment opportunities) was on budget and on
board-certified funeral di- to Arlington National time to be completed in June 2016. The $247
rector and embalmer, a cer- Cemetery following a se- million Southern Expansion Project was well
tified crematory operator, rious scandal uncovered underway, and the Army had taken possession
a certified celebrant, and by the Department of the of approximately 40 contiguous acres to the
certified in Thanatology by Army Inspector General. south with the project’s $70.8 million annual
the Association of Death During his leader- budget being executed as planned.
Education and Counseling. ship, Arlington National Jack became a licensed practitioner of
“Jack Lechner has Cemetery was restored Mortuary Science in New Jersey, where he
spent a lifetime studying to its rightful position was the co-founder and licensed manager
leadership and serving the of honor as a national of South Jersey Funeral Associates, Inc. He
deathcare profession as a funeral director, shrine. Automated systems were developed is a licensed funeral service provider in Ohio
embalmer, soldier, cemeterian, and educator,” for scheduling/recordkeeping; a geospatial and Virginia and a crematory operator permit
says ICCFA Educational Foundation President mapping system was created to assign and holder in Ohio. Jack had been a practicing
Jim Price. “He considers it a privilege to give track grave/niche assignments; and the most funeral director for 10 years before enlisting as
back to our profession. And it is with great stringent chain of custody system in the an Infantryman in the Army in 1983.
pleasure and honor that I announce that Jack federal system of cemeteries was established Jack holds a Bachelor of Mortuary Science
will be joining the board.” to ensure every family received peace of mind from Cincinnati College of Mortuary Science,
Jack serves as the president and CEO of about the grounds where their loved one had a Master of Science in Logistics Management
the Cincinnati College of Mortuary Science been laid to rest. An award-winning app was from Florida Tech, and a Master of Science in
(CCMS). Immediately upon entering his developed that provided families and the 3.1 National Resource Strategy from the National
position in January 2016, Jack convinced the million tourists per year with the ability to find Defense University.
board of trustees to adopt “Carver’s Gov-
ernance Model for Non-Profits” and began
the process of turning around the college’s
financials. Currently, the college is on a firm fi-
nancial footing and successfully implementing
an initiative to transform deathcare education,
which includes adding an Educational Crema-
tion Center to the CCMS campus.
Immediately prior to his arrival at CCMS,
Jack was the Integrated Logistics Systems
Division chief at the Department of the Army,
Pentagon, where he was responsible for
ensuring the integrated logistics support for
the entire lifecycle of all the Army’s combat
platform acquisitions costing more than $480
million during any one fiscal year or a total
procurement of more than $2.79 billion for the
life of the program.
One day after his retirement ceremony
from the Army, Jack was summoned to the
office of the Secretary of the Army and asked
to revoke his retirement orders and accept an

OCTOBER 2020 MEMENTO MORI 61

 NEWS

I CC FA M E M B E R S H I P B E N E F I T S P OT L I G H T
Discount on Long-Term Care Insurance
LTC Global offers a discount on • Have peace of mind knowing
Long-Term Care Insurance to all you’re covered
ICCFA members and their families. You will save time and money on
With 35+ years of Long-Term Care your Long-Term Care insurance quote
insurance experience, LTC Global has at LTC Global, one of the nation’s
developed a comprehensive educa- premier experts in long-term plan-
tional program to provide you with ning. To request more information on
all the information you need to deter- this program, call 1.888.305.4582.
mine which long-term care solution
To learn more about other ICCFA
is appropriate for you. Considering Here are a few reasons how Long-
membership benefits and services,
the high cost for Long-Term Care, this Term care insurance can help you:
visit www.iccfa.com/benefits. To
program is designed to help protect • Receive care in the comfort of your access membership benefits and
you, your family, and your retire- home
services, visit http://
ment security. Protection is available • Protect your home, savings, and users.iccfa.com, log in with your
should you need care at home or in family assets
username and password, and click
an assisted living or nursing home • Choose where and by whom you on Member Discount Programs.
facility. receive care

Pay It Forward
SERVE THE Special
MODERN FAMILY The pandemic has changed our daily lives
and the way we work. We want to help
you go digital, and generate more revenue
with Keeper’s Suite of Digital at no cost!
Memorialization Tools Keeper is paying it forward to you, the last
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62 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

 Welcome New ICCFA Members!
• Precious Pets • Perth Vet Care
Alamogordo, NM Clarkson, Western Australia,
Australia
• Blue Creek Pet Cremation
Tracy, CA • Forever Loved Pet Aquamation
Farmington, AR
• City of Plant City Cemetery
Plant City, FL
• Washington City Cemetery
Washington, UT
• Ballarat General Cemeteries Trust
Crematory
Ballarat, VIC, Australia
• Grace Funeral & Cremation Services
Rockford, IL
• Envision Strategic Partners
Salt Lake City, UT
• Lasting Impressions
Jefferson Hills, PA
• Green Burial Council
Placerville, CA
• Obit
Brooklyn, NY
• River Country Pet Loss and
Cremation Center
Saluda, VA
• My Pet Funeral
Georgetown, Penang, West Malaysia
• Paws in Peace, Inc.
Bridgeport, TX

For more information about

ICCFA and membership, visit
www.iccfa.com/membership
and download an application
form. Or call 1.800.645.7700 to
speak to a membership associate.
(267) 535 - 1490 or (267) 348 - 5059
www.northeastmausoleum.com
46 West Ferry Street, New Hope, PA

OCTOBER 2020 MEMENTO MORI 63

 WE ALL NEED TO GET BETTER AT GRIEF
As career funeral directors, cemeterians, and cremationists, we are all accomplished
caregivers with compassion. However, most of us are NOT as good as we think we
are at appropriately providing support to many that are grieving. The “Speaking
Grief” documentary hit me like a ton of bricks! It is about real life grieving people,
not actors, sharing their experience and heartfelt, simple guidance for those
wishing to support them better.
If you are very comfortable talking to those who are grieving after weeks, months,
or even years later, you are one of the few. The majority of us avoid follow up
discussions not just with the families we serve, but also with our own personal family
and friends. Most of us have really good intentions in supporting their person.
The problem is we’ve been taught the wrong ways to be of help. This
documentary opened my own eyes and will help us all learn how we can help
Jim Price
grieving people be heard and companioned inside their grief. “Speaking Grief” is
a very powerful, must-see documentary. I urge all of us to take the opportunity to view it and grow in our knowledge
and understanding to provide the support that all grieving people need. I am committed to being better at grief, and
I invite you to join me!
Jim Price
President, ICCFA Educational Foundation and National Alliance of Grieving Children, Board of Directors Member.

The screening and panel discussion are made possible through a collaboration between:

iccfa.education www.childrengrieve.org
 THE ICCFA EDUCATIONAL FOUNDATION AND THE

NAGC INVITE YOU TO A PANEL DISCUSSION

SHARING INSIGHTS FOR FUNERAL PROFESSIONALS

The ICCFA Educational Foundation and the National Alliance for Grieving Children
are pleased to facilitate a screening of “Speaking Grief” and host a panel discussion OCT 7TH 2020
at no cost to funeral service professionals. The panel features individuals who are
leaders in the world of funeral service and grief support for children. 2 - 3 PM EST

Register at https://childrengrieve.org/speaking-grief

OUR PANELISTS
Cristina M. Chipriano is the Director of Spanish Programs and Outreach at Bo’s Place, a bereavement
center in Houston, TX. Cristina is serving on the Content Advisory Board for the WPSU Public
Broadcasting Station/National Public Radio: The Grief Initiative Project and is featured in the movie,
“Speaking Grief”. She is a member of the Advisory Board of the Latino Social Workers of Greater
Houston and a board member at the NAGC.

Allen L. Dave, Jr., President of Allen Dave Funeral Home & Tribute Center, Allen Dave Funeral Home,
and Allen Dave Funeral Home & Crematorium/Restland Memorial Park Cemetery all of Texas.
Mr. Dave also serves as an ICCFA Educational Foundation Trustee.

Lindsey Whissel Fenton is a senior producer/director at WPSU. An award-winning storyteller, she has
explored a wide range of issues through her work in public media. She produced and directed
“Speaking Grief,” a multi-platform public media initiative aimed at creating a more
grief-aware society.

Vicki Jay serves as CEO of the National Alliance for Grieving Children. Her nineteen-year hospice
career included End-of-Life Community Education Director and ten years as Founder and
Executive Director of Rays of Hope Children’s Grief Center. She is recognized for her role in
children’s advocacy and for her strengths in public speaking and community education.

Jim Price is the Senior Vice President, Industry Relations for Park Lawn Corporation. Jim currently
serves on the International Cemetery, Cremation & Funeral Association (ICCFA) Board of Directors,
ICCFA Governmental Affairs Committee and is President of the ICCFA Educational Foundation.
He also serves on the Advisory Board for the Sykes School of Business, Center for the Study of
Ethics, at the University of Tampa in Tampa, Florida. Jim has over 50 years of experience in the
funeral profession and is a graduate of the California College of Mortuary Science.

“Speaking Grief” is a production of public media station WPSU Penn State and funded by New York Life Foundation.
Visit www.speakinggrief.org to learn more.

OCTOBER 2020 MEMENTO MORI 65

 NEWS

The Virtual Seminar Series

ICCFA is launching its first Virtual Seminar November 12, 2:00 PM EST December 3, 2:00 PM EST
Series! Our goal is to keep our members up Trust Fund Management & Investment Analyzing Financial Statements &
to date with timely and relevant industry in- Presented by Bill Williams Jr. and Wen- Valuation
formation as well as with topics that may not dy Wiener. Bill is the President, CEO, and Presented by Gary Freytag & David Kelley.
always be covered at conferences. Vice-Chairman of the Board of Funeral Ser- Gary Freytag is President and CEO of Spring
ICCFA’s Virtual Seminar Series lets our vices, Inc., and Wendy is the Managing Mem- Grove Cemetery and Arboretum and David
members engage in live learning experiences ber at WRW Legal, PLLC. Both Bill and Wendy Kelley is Spring Grove’s Vice President and
through an easy-to-use digital platform. Each will cover the most important components CFO. Understanding the financial health of
series includes three to four one-hour sessions of a well-run program, from due diligence of your business is critical to making prudent
on topics relevant to deathcare professionals trust records before acquisition to reconcilia- business decisions. If you and your team are
who are looking to expand their knowledge tion of trust records after acquisition. They will asking yourselves: what benchmarks and
base and keep their skills current. also highlight important issues of trust records ratios should you be watching on your income
Starting in November 2020, we are that operators routinely miss. This is your ses- statement; how fast can you grow without
kicking off the series with a focus on Fiscal sion if you want to learn the operational and running out of cash; what risks are lurking on
Management, and ICCFA assures you will be legal requirements associated with setting up your balance sheet, or how much debt is too
learning from the best with its notable docket or fixing up an operator’s trust program. much, then join Gary and David, who will walk
of industry professionals who will be leading you through the financial calculations that
these seminars! November 19, 2:00 PM EST drive valuation of a business from profits to
Outsourcing vs. In-House Staffing EBITDA, to owner adjustments, and ultimately
November 5, 2:00 PM EST Presented by Beth Kmiec, Vice President of to multiples.
Budgeting & Forecasting Trust Administration at ClearPoint Federal
We invite you to register for the full series
Presented by Melissa Tompkins, Assistant Vice Bank & Trust. Beth’s session will give you a
or select one or more individual sessions,
President of Financial Planning and Analysis, framework for evaluating the decision to out-
choosing the content that best meets your
SCI. Melissa will cover the purpose and funda- source different pieces of your business and
needs and fits your schedule. ICCFA mem-
mentals of budgeting and forecasting; what discuss the pros and cons by sharing real-life
bers can register for the session(s) of their
information you should consider before you examples of how ClearPoint opted to use
choice for $125/session or purchase the
build a budget; the deciding assumptions and outsourcing for its human resource function.
entire Fiscal Management series (all four
level of details to be considered when building A must attend if you are unsure about hiring
sessions) for $375. The non-member rate is
a forecast; how to manage the overall budget; outside professionals!
$250/session and $750 for the series. Visit
and the forecast processes from creation to
www.iccfa.com/vss to register today!
reporting.

66 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com

 Celebrating 2019 KIP Award Winners

FIRST PLACE AND GRAND PRIZE WINNER: Most Personalized Service or Memorial
Miss Alexandria’s Princess Memorial Service • Fresno, CA

Helping a Dying Child Plan Her Own Funeral

After Miss Alexandria was diagnosed white casket’s interior was pink, the
late with a rare form of brain cancer balloons for the release were pink and
called Glioblastoma, she and her moth- purple, and the horse carriage that car-
er came to Chapel of the Light Funeral ried Miss Alexandria to the cemetery
Home to pre-arrange the memorial was designed like Cinderella’s horse
service. Five-year-old Miss Alexandria’s carriage, giving Miss Alexandria a truly
favorite color was pink, she loved Dis- memorable fairytale funeral.
ney princesses, and Cinderella was her Entries for this Keeping It Personal
favorite princess story. (KIP) Awards category must show an
Michael Rabara, funeral director outstanding example of a personalized
at the funeral home, kept in constant funeral for a particular individual, or a
contact with Miss Alexandria and her very personalized memorial. Entrants
family, creating a strong bond. Michael must explain how their staff provided a
and the funeral home sent Miss Alex- particular family with a funeral service
andria a Disney floral arrangement for or memorialization that really told the
good luck on the day of her surgery. story of the decedent’s life.
On the day Miss Alexandria died, she The KIP Awards was started in 2001
was three hours away from home, and by ICCFA’s Personalization Subcommit-
Michael personally picked her up and tee to encourage the sharing of ideas
drove her home. for personalizing services and products
For Miss Alexandria’s service, her to better serve families.

OCTOBER 2020 MEMENTO MORI 67

UPCOMING EVENTS ADVERTISER INDEX

October 11–14, 2020 American Cemetery/Mortuary Consultants Inc. (ACMC)��������������� 17

ACCA Annual Conference 2020: Grave Expectations Answering Service for Directors (ASD) ����������������������������������������������� 51
Canberra, ACT Australia Aquamation ����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 68
Visit https://accaweb.com.au/events for details. Biondan North America Inc.��������������������������������������������������������������������� 3
Bio Response ����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 9
October 30–November 2, 2020
“Create a Great Funeral Day” Virtual Festival Blackstone Cemetery Development��������������������������������������������������������� 7
Hosted by Doyenne of Death® Gail Rubin Bogati Urn Company ������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 51
Learn more or to register, visit www.BeforeIDieNM.com. C&J Financial, LLC����������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 47
Columbarium by Design, LLC ��������������������������������������������������������������� 33
February 8–11, 2021
Continental Computer Corp. ������������������������������������������������������������������� 1
“Creating Meaningful Funeral Ceremonies” Four-Day
Workshop Crowne Vault��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 25
Facilitated by educator Dr. Alan Wolfelt Doric Products Inc.����������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 21
Scottsdale, AZ Ensure-A-Seal��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 59
For more information and to register, call 970.226.6050 or Flowers for Cemeteries����������������������������������������������������������������������������� 62
visit www.centerforloss.com.
The Foresight Companies, LLC.������������������������������������������������������������� 45
Funeral Call Answering Service ������������������������������������������������������������� 67
funeralOne������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ C4
Global Bronze����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 9
Grever & Ward Inc.����������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 20
Holland Supply Inc.����������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 58
IncredibleBank������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 56
International Memorialization Supplier Association (IMSA)����������� 35
Johnson Consulting����������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 55
Keeper��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 62
KMI Columbaria����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 5
Kryprotek ��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 52
Madelyn Co.����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 32
Matthews Cemetery Products����������������������������������������������������������������� 19
McKleskey Services����������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 50
Merendino Cemetery Care �������������������������������������������������������������������� C3
Mortuary Lift Company, Inc. ����������������������������������������������������������������� 60
Nomis Publications Inc.��������������������������������������������������������������������������� 60
Northeast Mausoleum����������������������������������������������������������������������������� 63
Obermayer ������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 53
Premier Columbaria��������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 68
RKS Lanka��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 61
Salem Neckwear ��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 68
SEP TECHNOLOGIES INC������������������������������������������������������������������� 11
Sich Caskets���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� C2
Springfield Coach Group������������������������������������������������������������������������� 41
SRS Computing����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 49
Strassacker Bronze America, LLC��������������������������������������������������������� 34
Supply Link—Multiview��������������������������������������������������������������������������� 48
THE SYSTEM ������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 46
Trigard��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 57
U.S. Metalcraft������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 40
Withum, Smith & Brown, PC����������������������������������������������������������������� 51
Zontec Ozone Generators����������������������������������������������������������������������� 39

68 MEMENTO MORI OCTOBER 2020 www.iccfa.com