E.F.F.L.

WEEK 5 PREVIEW:
Rivalry Week

ANNNDDDDDDD NOWWWWWW. This is the moment the E.F.F.L. has been waiting for.
Live from the sold out fantasy football groupchat in the great state of Michigan, ITSSSSSSSSSS
TIME!!!! Four rounds into the fantasy football season let's jump into a pivotal week five labeled:
RIVALRY WEEK. Week five of the E.F.F.L. is surely looking like one that will be remembered
for ages as we have an abundance of storylines cooking as one third of the season has now been
completed. With only eight regular season games left, team owners are now starting to see how
players they drafted, traded or dropped are truly valued in the landscape of the rest of the season.
As always, before we jump into the week, we have to look at what went down last week, in the
first covid affected matchups of the year. Lets jump right into it. Starting off with our game of
the week that was somewhat another stinker as the Mully killas slowly rolled over the undefeated
Untouchables. Huge production showed from the now healthy, George skittle Kittle as he made
the Untouchables taste the rainbow with a sprinkle of 36 points down his throat. Rumors are that
Cam Newton wasn't the only one with the rona as brandin cook’s goose egg didn’t help The
Untouchables in this one as he fell 146.0-119.5 bringing both teams to (3-1) at thHe top of the
AFC. Speaking of the AFC, we head to 653 Ford Blvd for our next matchup as the air fills with
Papa Mullys screams “ WERE GOING STREAKING! through the quad and into the gymnasium
come on everybody!” as Papa Mully rattles off his third straight W against the Kekambas in a
168.0-125.5 rout. Papa Mully’s Comeback SZN is in full effect as he now sits in a three way tie
for first place in the AFC at (3-1) as The Kekambas fall to last place at (1-3). The three game
losing streak for Droste is being dubbed as the curse of Jeff Fisher as he has failed to pick up a
win after that ginormous week one upset. Heading into our third matchup we all witnessed a
bloody massacre as Meet the Robinsons invented a new way to deliver an ass beating as no
ships sunk to the bottom of the ocean in this one getting smoked 223.-117. A depleted and
battered No ships team stood no chance as he started 3 receivers that are currently playing on
practice squads. This matchup brings both teams to (2-2) however you would think team owner
Adam Tylenda just defeated Thanos the way he's acting after this win. Someone tell that man to
grow up already, Jesus. Our fourth matchup from a week ago leads us to the best of the week as
the Dirty Birds II saw life flashing before his eyes looking to get hawked two weeks in a row
before Russel gage shit the bed on Monday night stopping Tune Squads comeback in a
143-134.5 battle. It was a tough week for Tune squad as he took his first L of the season but
received an even bigger L after Austin Eckler got carted off to Narnia early in the first quarter.
This matchup now brings both teams to (3-1) despite a 138 point differential between the teams
at the top of the NFC. Every year fantasy football brings players joy because of the adrenaline of
the unknown. Specifically, the unknowns of players performance, drafting the right players,
injuries, or putting out the right lineup that can get you the win you need that week. It's rare you
see consisty in fantasy football other than the fact that Chris ``Tennessee” Bird is going to lose
every week which is exactly what happened in our second to last matchup between The
Marathon Continues and Formerly known team Cumback kid. This matchup featured Huge
performances out of receivers DJ the Shark Chark and Will fuller as The Marathon continues
added on to byrds shit pile of losses in a 167-116.0 matchup. This now brings The Marathon
continues to (2-2) on the season a Cumback remains unsurprisingly winless. Our last matchup of
the week brings us to the local Golden Corral as kicking legend Fat Randy had a feast eating all
17 points and puking it up all over Primetimes team. Younghoe Koos leaderships on the bench
propelled team “For Younghoe” to their first win on the season with all the momentum in the
world as Christan Mccaffery is chomping at the bit to come back from injury as For Younghoe
defeats Primetime 159-139. This matchup brings both clubs to a very, very solid (1-3) record.
What an excellent week of fantasy football in the E.F.F.L and another excellent week for your
fantasy football handicapper as I went (5-1) on my picks bringing my season total (14-10) on the
year. Before we get into our week four awards, there have been a couple of name changes to
address. First the Marathon continues are officially changing their name to Dream Killers
because quote “Their not into making dreams, their into making nightmares.” Our other name
change comes from the state of Tennessee as formerly known team “Jakes my bitch” or
“Comeback” or “Cumback kid” or “Cinderella Story” has once again, can you believe it,
changed their name to Bird Shit because well you get it. Alright, award time. Our player of the
week was a real hard one for me this week because what Fat Randy on the field sunday was one
to be remembered. However, the player of the week goes to Joe Mixon as he finally came out of
his shell dropping 42 points leading Papa Mully to another victory. Team Owner of the week
goes out to team owner Jeremiah Mullinax as he found a way to win without key starters JuJu on
the beat and James Sarah Connor due to covid. Finally, our dunce of the week presented to you
by CrackAsshole ™ goes out to Primetime as he failed to remove an injured Leonard Fournette
before kickoff last Sunday. Unacceptable. With week four wrapped up let's jump into RIVALRY
WEEK.
 MATCH #1
Bird Shit (0-4) vs No ships (2-2)
Rivalry scale : 3/10

Our first matchup on the card isn't much of a rivalry to my knowledge, but that's why it's first on
our slate. No ships vs Bird Shit isn't bringing much hype this week but is a very important game
to both individuals. First, plain and simple Bird shit needs a win. Starting off (0-5) is virtually a
death penalty in fanatasy football so byrd needs to do everything in his power to win this one.
However, if there's any week for Byrd to do so, it's now. No ships has battled injury as four
players in his lineup currently found a week ago off the streets. For Mikey to win he needs big
performances out of stars Matt Ryan and Deandre Hopkins. For Byrd to win, he needs a pack of
cigs and hope he doesn't get dumped on for a fifth straight week in a row. Out of pure principle
I'm picking against the projections and choosing No ships to come out the victor bringing him to
(3-2) having Byrd remaining a winless dumpster fire.
 MATCH #2
Papa Mully (3-1) vs Primetime (1-3)
Rivalry scale : 2/10

Our second matchup features a couple of old heads with really no rivalry once again other than
the fact it's on sight with pops at any time. Papa Mully looks to continue to fly under the radar
and rattle off his 4th straight win this week against Primetime. Papa Mully hasn't had full
strength all year and it isn't looking good this week either as he looks to battle byes and covid.
PrimeTime needs to remind himself to set a lineup this week if he has any chance of winning at
all. I have Dak Prescott to remain dominant with another solid outing from Joe Mixon. Look
pretty simple matchup for me here, I have Papa Mully as a heavy favorite in this one agreeing
with experts bringing him to (4-1) and Primetime to (1-4)
 MATCH #3
The Kekambas (1-3) vs The Untouchables (3-1)
Rivalry scale : 1/10

Match three is again not that much of a rivalry that features the battle of “THES” between The
Kekambas and The Untouchables. You're probably wondering to yourself “Brian why is it
rivalry week? I mean you added that cool Rivalry Scale but that hasn't been any rivalries!”
Listen, I'm getting there. Both these teams look to bounce back after taking L’s as the curse of
Jeff Fisher haunts Droste. Droste has battled good and bad news this week losing Julio Jones but
gaining Le'veon Bell. I like the way Droste’s team is trending however I do believe it needs to be
full strength to secure a win. The make or break of this matchup will be if Patrick Mahomes
plays after he was seen interacting with Stephon Gilmore who was infected with the rona. I think
luck plays in the Untouchables favor while his full team plays and he wins in this one bringing
his squad to (4-1) as the kekambas needs to make things right with Jeff, failing to (1-4)
 MARQUEE MATCH # 1
For Younghoe (1-3)* vs Mully Killas (3-1)
Rivalry Scale : 6.9/10

Our first marquee rivalry game brings us to Lincoln Park as this matchups highlights the former
Coach/Player relationship between Brian Mullinax and Chase Schmittou. This first Rivalry all
began when Chase constantly demanded he be referred to and only referred to as coach. As Brian
continuously refused Chases demands, tensions heated up into this matchup this week. For
Younghoe’s team has been quite a story this season and now drama continues as there is a battle
for the Kicking spot driven by a Fat, Fat Randy. If Younghoe comes back what will that mean
for the landscape of the rest of the season? On the other hand Mully Killas looks to kill his First
Mully as he sits (0-1) against them this season. Just like Devante Adams, god only knows if
Micheal Thomas will play this week but it will be pivotal to the outcome of this matchup. Ever
since the locker room culture change of For Younghoe I don't see anybody getting past them in
the near future. With that being said im picking For Younghoe to win in a close one bringing him
to (2-3) and Mully Killas to (3-2)
 MARQUEE MATCH #2
Tune Squad (3-1) vs Meet The Robinsons (2-2)
Rivalry scale: 9.5/10

Our second marquee matchup is a heated one that highlights the battle of two roommates
between Tune Squad and Meet The Robinsons. This Rivalry is a heated one being dubbed as the
battle for head of household. Who will be the dom and who will be the simp many sit and
speculate before this matchup. Tune Squad coming off his first loss and second key injury is
starting to realize why you trade for depth, rather than trade it away. Meet the Robinsons on the
flip side has spiraled into full manic hysteria as he stares at his (2-2) lineup blinded by one good
week. For Tune squad to win, he needs to finally prove he can be a good manager and find
replacements for his fallen victims. Look for Darren Waller, Mr.Unlimmmmmited, and Tyrek
Hill to go off for Tune squad. Meet the Robinsons is hoping to squeeze out one more good week
from Mike Davis and have Kareem Hunt fill the void for Nick Chubbs target share. This
matchup is the closest on the card and as I have Tune squad walking away in this one head of
household bringing him to (4-1) and meet the Robinsons to (2-3)
 ***GAME OF THE WEEK***
Dream Killers (2-2) vs Dirty Birds II (3-1)
Rivalry scale : 10/10

Our game of the week brings us back to March 31st, 1993 where these two rivals have been
battling it out since my Mother's womb. The battle of the twins, the battle of the brothers, the
battle for immortality. Who's going to take it? The rematch of the 2019 E.F.F.L. Championship
is returning to us in week five this year in a game that features Dream Killers vs Dirty Birds II.
Both teams dubbing this as a must win entering this week both coming off a huge win the week
prior. Dream killers looks to win his first back to back game returning two players from covid
last week. Dirty Birds on the other hand is searching for production out of newly acquired Tim
Patrick to help him get a win over his twin. Last year Jacob swept Jeremiah regular season 2-0
only to come up short in the championship with Jeremiah getting the last laugh and his fifth
championship. Anything can happen when these two match up so it's extremely hard for me to
pick a winner for this game. With that being said…….. I just don't see how Dirty Birds II finds a
win in this one losing close bringing both teams to (3-2)