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Job Application Letter To Be Revised 1

This letter revises a job application letter by trimming unnecessary words, rewriting awkward sentences, and correcting errors. The original letter was careless with details. The revised letter is addressed to Mr. William Cuambot, Personnel Director of ABC Design, Inc. in San Francisco. It highlights the applicant's qualifications from graduating with a business degree and previous government employment, and requests an interview to discuss how their skills in marketing, sales, and working with the public would benefit the company.

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taw real
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563 views

Job Application Letter To Be Revised 1

This letter revises a job application letter by trimming unnecessary words, rewriting awkward sentences, and correcting errors. The original letter was careless with details. The revised letter is addressed to Mr. William Cuambot, Personnel Director of ABC Design, Inc. in San Francisco. It highlights the applicant's qualifications from graduating with a business degree and previous government employment, and requests an interview to discuss how their skills in marketing, sales, and working with the public would benefit the company.

Uploaded by

taw real
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Revise the job application letter reprinted below.

Trim unnecessary words and rewrite awkward


sentences. Note especially that this letter’s author has been careless about details. Correct errors in
grammar, punctuation, and mechanics.

Mr. William Cuambot


Personnel Director
ABC Design, Inc.
291 Front St.
San Francisco, Tangub 94128

Dear Mr Cuambot;
Searching for an employee with qualifications to fit management or a position of responsibility with a
degree in adversity. The job description you described in the Western Placement Annual 2020, is
particularly suited to my qualifications. My previous positions in the federal government has provided me
with skills to overcome problems and manifest myself as an achiever. Mr. Cuambot, my graduation from
Cal State University, Hayward Business Department, in June of ’85, has provided me with skills along
with my previous employment in government. Hearing your company has an opening in their Marketing
and Sales department, I am applying for such a position. Knowing your company deals with a variety of
products, I feel that my scope of knowledge of consumer wants and needs can widen your target market
areas. My ability to work with the public and quickly locate their interests makes me a likely candidate.

The enclosed resume will clearly show my qualifications and abilities. Please read for yourself and be the
judge.

In closing I would appreciate an interview at your convenience. Your company office is located near my
home and I would like to meet with you at a time convenient for you. My home phone number after 2:00
pm is 415–385–0049. If any of my skills or experience interests you, please write or phone. Thank you
for your time and attention.

Sincerely
Mahal Real

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