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Guide - How To Say No - Sarah Peck

The document provides six scripts for saying "no" in different situations, along with context for when each would be appropriate. It discusses how saying "no" can be difficult due to social conditioning but is an important skill for leaders. Specific scripts suggested include connecting the request to other priorities, shifting the decision back to the requester, and mentioning other people who could fulfill the request instead. The overall message is that saying "no" gets easier with practice and helps maintain boundaries and priorities.

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gloriaorrego436
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281 views12 pages

Guide - How To Say No - Sarah Peck

The document provides six scripts for saying "no" in different situations, along with context for when each would be appropriate. It discusses how saying "no" can be difficult due to social conditioning but is an important skill for leaders. Specific scripts suggested include connecting the request to other priorities, shifting the decision back to the requester, and mentioning other people who could fulfill the request instead. The overall message is that saying "no" gets easier with practice and helps maintain boundaries and priorities.

Uploaded by

gloriaorrego436
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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HOW TO

SAY NO
SIX SCRIPTS YOU CAN STEAL

SARAH K PECK
FREE GUIDE 

HOW TO 
SAY NO
 
Six Word-For-Word 
Templates You Can Use to 
Save You Time, Money, & 
Sanity  
 

SARAH K PECK  

HOW TO SAY NO — ​WWW.SARAHKPECK.COM  


Saying no is powerful. My toddler wields
the word on a daily basis, and in many
ways, I’m in awe of his unabashed claim
of the word.
Despite being an empowering, commanding and beautiful
word to utilize, many people struggle to say no. Bad habits,
social conditioning, peer pressure, or power dynamics can
make it difficult to refuse a request.

The best leaders and CEOs strengthen their ability to say no,
and do so thoughtfully and decisively.​ They know what they
want, and insist on it.

It can take practice to harness the super power of saying no.


The first time you consciously assert yourself in this way,
especially at work, it may feel awkward, like you’re doing
something wrong.

If you’re trapped at work, or stuck with too many projects


on your plate, and feel overwhelmed, here are six ways to
say no, with word-for-word scripts you can use.

HOW TO SAY NO — ​WWW.SARAHKPECK.COM  


The best leaders and 
CEOs strengthen their 
ability to say no, and do 
so thoughtfully and 
decisively.

HOW TO SAY NO — ​WWW.SARAHKPECK.COM  


1 — Get very clear on what you want
People often say yes to everything when they aren’t clear
what their one priority or goal is. What’s your biggest
priority right now? What do you want most?

If your goal is to do a great job at work and please your boss,


then it may seem like you need to do everything they ask of
you. This is a poor strategy, however, because if you
over-commit, burnout, or do lackluster work because you’re
spread too thin, that doesn’t help your case.

Instead, ask your boss:​ “I want to do a great job here and


support you and the mission of the company. What’s the
most important thing I could accomplish in my first year
here?”​ Align with them on the main goal, and your ability to
focus will become far easier down the line. When your boss
comes back and asks you to finish a project that seems
unrelated, you can say:

“I’ve got three projects on my plate, and we’re


focused on achieving {our main priority}. It seems
like Project D is a distraction from this goal, unless
I’m missing something.”

Without boundaries, you can end up saying yes to the wrong


things.

HOW TO SAY NO — ​WWW.SARAHKPECK.COM  


2 — Try using "no" as your default
answer
Many people, especially women, have been trained to say
“yes” as their default behavior. Without consciously
thinking about it, you say yes to every request that comes
across your desk and floats through your inbox. No wonder
you are exhausted!

Try this for a week or two, as an experiment: tell yourself


you’re going to say no to absolutely anything and everything
that comes across your desk.

Sound scary? This is a great way to rethink what your


default patterns are, and disrupt your normal behavior.

Here’s a script you can use:

“I’m booked with commitments these next two weeks,


so I’m sorry, I can’t make it.”

The key here is not to make excuses after you decline, but to
just say no. Pay attention to what makes you squirm the
most, or which invitations feel the hardest to say no to. If
you need to, you can always say:

“I’m taking a challenge where I say no to everything


for the next two weeks, so I have to say no!”

HOW TO SAY NO — ​WWW.SARAHKPECK.COM  


3 — Say no by creating tension for the
asker
Often you’ll get requests from people who aren’t aware of
your entire workload. Especially on dynamic teams, you can
get flooded with requests and quickly have a backlog of work
pile up. How to deal with a colleague that keeps throwing
stuff on your plate?

Say no by creating tension. Give the parameters back to the


person making the request, forcing them to make the
decision. ​“This sounds like an amazing project,”​ you say, in
agreement with the asker. ​“​Yet we’ve already committed to
Project A and Project B.”​ This adds clarity. Now, put the
tension back into the mix:

“Which project should we put on hold so we can add


this to our plates?”

This works for partners, too. When I pile too many things on
the calendar, my partner pushes back and uses this on me:

“We’ve already said yes to two dinner invitations this


week. Which one can we switch or push back if we
want to add this event to our week?”

HOW TO SAY NO — ​WWW.SARAHKPECK.COM  


4 — Rewrite your understanding of the
scope of what you're really saying no to
The insidious part of being a “yes” person is that you are
also saying no, but to other things you might not be aware
of. When you fill your plate full of deadlines and tasks, you
don’t have the bandwidth for a larger, more meaningful
project when it comes along. You also are saying no to all
the other things you might want in your life, whether that’s
personal relationships, exercise or health, or a dream you
have.

Ask yourself: what are all the things you’re saying no to or


putting on hold by saying yes to everything else?

For me, one of the hardest things to remember to say “yes”


to is time writing and exploring my book project. I finally
fessed up to this in my replies to people, and eventually
learned how to use it as a way to say no. Steal this script
(and insert your own dream project).

“I would love to be a part of this event, but every


event I say yes to means I’m saying no to the book I
want to be writing. So, I have to sadly decline,
knowing that you’ll all have a wonderful time, and
that I’ll be pursuing my life dream of writing a book.”

HOW TO SAY NO — ​WWW.SARAHKPECK.COM  


5 — Connect to someone else even better
Sometimes I get requests that I just cannot do. I was asked
to travel halfway around the world for a conference the
same weekend as my baby was due to arrive. In this case, I
immediately thought of people that would be a great fit, and
I realized this was a great strategy for other times in my life
when I couldn’t pack more in.

When my schedule is already full, I like to match great


opportunities with people that could be an even better fit.
It’s important, however, to check with the person you’re
suggesting first and see if they are interested. It might not
be the right time for them, either.

Steal this script:

“I’m already committed that weekend. Have you


considered these other speakers as possibilities?
They’d both be great and I’m happy to connect you, if
you’d like.”

HOW TO SAY NO — ​WWW.SARAHKPECK.COM  


6 — Don't be afraid to be firm
Practice speaking up. Draw finite lines.

Your goal is not to be well-liked, but well respected. Saying


no commands respect and attention.

People may balk at your first use of the word no, but will
grow to respect it overtime. ​When we defend our own time,
we remind others of our boundaries and we remind
ourselves that we are worthy of it.

When all else fails, keep it simple. Thank the requester for
their time, and simply decline. Here's one final script:

“I appreciate you reaching out. I will have to decline


this time. Thank you!”

HOW TO SAY NO — ​WWW.SARAHKPECK.COM  


When we defend our 
own time, we remind 
others of our 
boundaries and we 
remind ourselves that 
we are worthy of it.

HOW TO SAY NO — ​WWW.SARAHKPECK.COM  


Saying no gets easier
Saying no is a skill that you can learn over time. In the
beginning, like any habit, it may feel strange and
uncomfortable. Stick with it! The more you practice saying
no, the easier it will get.

Use these scripts and keep them handy whenever you’re


stuck in a meeting, on a never-ending email chain, or need
to have a conversation with a friend or a partner about
what’s happening

And remember: simple is best.

Just saying “no, thanks” can work magically.

Learn more:
If you loved this mini-book, please join me for weekly
articles and a monthly behind-the-scenes newsletter at
www.sarahkpeck.com​, where I write about how to live a
better life through psychology, behavior, personal growth,
and community. I also have a ​weekly podcast​ and ​speak
regularly​ about leadership, business, and wellbeing.

HOW TO SAY NO — ​WWW.SARAHKPECK.COM  

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