TDA 3.

1 Communication &
professional relationships
with children, young
people & adults

Building trusting and effective relationships with

children, young people and adults is an essential part
of your role. In this unit, you will explore the ways
to communicate in different situations and contexts
and the importance of following procedures for
confidentiality and information sharing.

By the end of this unit you will:

1. understand the principles of developing positive
relationships with children, young people and adults
2. understand how to communicate with children,
young people and adults
3. understand legislation, policies and procedures for
confidentiality and sharing information, including data
protection.
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 Level 3 Diploma in Supporting Teaching & Learning in Schools (Secondary)

Understand the principles is also important for pupils that we model effective
communication skills. This means checking what
of developing positive we are saying sometimes in moments of stress or
excitement, so that they can understand what our
relationships with children, expectations are in school. If we ask pupils to behave
young people and adults in a particular way when communicating and then
forget to do so ourselves, they will find it harder to
understand the boundaries of what is acceptable.
Why effective communication is
Effective communication and positive relationships
important do not happen by chance. You should think about the
In order to contribute to positive relationships, way you relate to others and the messages that this
you will need to demonstrate and model effective sends out. In situations where communication breaks
communication skills in your dealings with others. down, misunderstandings can lead to bad feeling.
This means that you should consider both how you
approach other people and how you respond to them.
We are more likely to communicate information to Key term
one another if we have positive relationships. Parents
Positive relationships – relationships that benefit
and other adults who come into the school are more
children and young people, and their ability to
likely to give beneficial support if communication is
participate in and benefit from the setting
strong and effective – this, in turn, benefits pupils. It

How good are your relationships with other adults in your work environment?

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 TDA 3.1 Communication & professional relationships with children, young people & adults

CASE STUDY: The importance of effective communication

Tricia works as a teaching assistant in a large she had been for the last 30 minutes. Tricia was
secondary school. She supports children who have upset at the way she was spoken to and told the
special educational needs during their English teacher that she had been called to administer first
lessons. Tricia is also a first aider at the school. aid. However, the teacher misunderstood, thinking
During break time, she was called to an incident she had been dealing with a minor injury. Both the
outside. A child had fallen during a game of football teacher and Tricia were unhappy and hardly spoke to
and had a suspected broken arm. By the time she one another until lunchtime.
had ensured that the child was comfortable, and an
• Who was in the wrong?
ambulance been summoned, the class had almost
• Do you think that pupils in the class would have
finished. The English teacher had not been informed
noticed?
that Tricia was dealing with an accident. As Tricia
• How might this have been handled better by
entered the classroom, the teacher asked where
both the teacher and Tricia?

comfortable in our company, they will be more likely

Functional skills to communicate effectively. Where people do not
English: Speaking, listening and communication get along or are suspicious of one another, they are
You could role play this scenario and then experiment likely to avoid one another wherever possible. Positive
with different ways of dealing with the situation. relationships are not something which should be le
This would provide you with a good opportunity to to chance and it is important to consider the ways in
develop your speaking and listening skills. which we can develop them.
We build relationships with others in school on a daily
basis in a number of different ways. Although you
The principles of relationship building may do some of these without necessarily thinking
The principles of relationship building with children about it, it is worth taking time to consider whether
and adults in any context are that if others are you do all of the following.

Being clear on key points Effective communication

Being considerate
Building positive
Showing respect relationships
with others
Remembering issues which
are personal to them
Taking time to listen to others

Maintaining a sense of humour

Do you use all of these when building relationships with others?

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 Level 3 Diploma in Supporting Teaching & Learning in Schools (Secondary)

them information, you should always ensure that

Functional skills they are clear what you have said at the end of
English: Writing the discussion. This is because it can be easy to be
You could recall a time when you have distracted from the main point of the conversation.
communicated with another adult in school and When talking to children, always ask them to
write a brief account of what happened. Using the repeat back to you what they need to do.
points on the spidergram reflect on how you could ● Maintaining a sense of humour – although the
have approached this situation differently. When nature of our work in school is important, we
you write your account, consider the layout and should also sometimes take time to see the funny
structure of the text. side of different situations. Laughter can be a good
icebreaker and is also a great way of relaxing and
● Effective communication – this is the key area relieving stress.
for developing relationships with others and also
covers many different forms of communication
(see below).
Social, professional and cultural
● Showing respect – in order to develop positive
contexts
relationships with others, it is very important to When communicating with others, you will need
be courteous and respectful, and to listen to their to consider the context in which you are working.
points of view. Adults and pupils with whom you You will need to adapt the way you communicate
work may also be from different cultures and have in different situations. It is likely that you will do
different beliefs or values from your own. You this automatically – for example, you should use
should ensure that you acknowledge and respect more formal language and behaviour in a meeting.
the views of others at all times and take time to Your school will have a range of types of planned
remember names and preferred forms of address. communication with other adults – when dealing
with other professionals, there will be meetings and
● Being considerate – take the time to consider
discussions as well as more informal communication
the positions of others. You may be working
at different times. However, the spoken word is
with a child, young person or adult who is under
not the only way in which we communicate – it
particular pressure at a given time and need
happens through the way we respond to others, for
to understand why they may have behaved or
example, how quickly we respond to an email or
reacted in a certain way or out of character.
phone message, how attentive we are when speaking
● Remembering issues which are personal to to someone, how we dress. You may find that the
them – it will always help to build positive non-spoken forms of communication can be an
relationships if you enquire aer particular issue if they are misread by others. You should also
aspects of another person’s life – for example, remember that different cultures will have their own
if you know that a colleague is concerned about norms of behaviour which will extend to gestures,
their child getting into a particular secondary body language and eye contact. In some cultures, for
school, or if you are aware that it is a child’s example, it is not polite to look another person in the
birthday. eye when speaking to them.
● Taking time to listen to others – make sure
that you take time to listen to other people, in
Reflect
particular if they are asking for advice or help, or
if they need to confide in you. You should always Think about the ways in which your school passes
show that you are interested in what they have to information to adults outside school. They may
say and respond appropriately. be parents, carers or outside agencies. You may
want to list the methods of communication under
● Being clear on key points – when you have
‘Formal’ and ‘Informal’ headings.
conversations with others in which you are giving

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 TDA 3.1 Communication & professional relationships with children, young people & adults

interest by the way in which you act when speaking

Skills builder to pupils. For example, if a young person is sitting
Keep a log of your interactions with colleagues in the down, sit next to them so that you are at their
school over a one-day period. Consider the purpose level. It can be very intimidating to have someone
of each interaction and the communication skills you towering over them. Also make sure that you smile
used (both verbal and non-verbal). Reflect on the and react in a positive way to what they are saying.
different types of interactions that have taken place. ● React and comment on what they are saying.
Consider the outcomes of the interactions, focusing You may need to repeat back to pupils to check on
particularly on those which were positive and also your understanding, particularly if they have used
those which you felt were not as effective. Analyse incorrect language: for example, ‘I ain’t gonna do
the reasons why and identify, where necessary, how PE today.’ ‘You’re not going to do PE today, why
you might have adapted your communication. Be is that?’
sure to observe confidentiality at all times.
● Be interested, responding and questioning to
maintain conversation. It is important to model
Understand how to and invite the ‘norms’ of conversation with children
communicate with children, so that they build up an understanding about how
it works. They will do this through experience, so
young people and adults show that you are interested and respond to their
questions.
Skills needed to communicate with
For children to be able to communicate effectively,
children and young people you should encourage them to ask questions and put
You will need to demonstrate a number of skills their ideas forward. Pupils should feel relaxed and
in order to communicate effectively with children confident enough in school to be able to do this, as it
and young people. Although it is likely that you is by questioning and finding out that they learn. They
will do this every day without thinking, it is worth should also be able to offer their own suggestions
reflecting on the ways in which you this – effective and ideas so that there is a two-way dialogue
communication is a vital part of your role. Children between adults and pupils rather than a one-way flow
learn to communicate through the responses of of instructions. This also encourages the formation of
others: if they do not feel that their contribution is positive relationships.
valued, they are less likely to initiate communication
themselves. You will need to do the following.
Reflect
● Find opportunities to speak. Make sure that
pupils are given sufficient opportunities to talk. Think about those pupils with whom you work
Some children have very little chance to put their who are more quiet when communicating with
own thoughts forward and express themselves adults. How can you encourage and develop their
with adults. They may lack confidence and need communication skills?
to be given a chance to ‘warm up’ first so that
they feel able to do so.
Functional skills
● Give eye contact and actively listen. If you say
that you are listening, but are looking away and ICT: Developing, presenting and communicating
are busy doing something else, this gives the child information
the message that you are not really interested in You could produce an information leaflet on the
what they are saying. Make sure that if a pupil is computer that you could share with parent helpers
talking, you are giving them your attention. or students that come into the setting. You could
include some useful guidance and suggestions on
● Use body language and facial expressions, and
how to communicate with the children.
be approachable. Make sure that you show your

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 Level 3 Diploma in Supporting Teaching & Learning in Schools (Secondary)

How to adapt communication with ● Communication differences – you should ensure

care and sensitivity with children who have
children and young people communication differences, as they will need to
In order to build relationships with children, you will take their time and feel unpressured when they
need to adapt your behaviour and communication are speaking. Some children may not have many
accordingly. Children of all ages, cultures and abilities opportunities to speak, or may be anxious or
need to feel secure and valued, and your interactions nervous. You should adapt the way in which you
with them should demonstrate this. Through communicate according to their individual needs. If
positively communicating with and being involved they have a speech disorder, such as a stammer,
with children, you will show them that they are part or conditions which make it difficult for them, they
of the school community. However, this is not the should be allowed to take their time. Try not to fill
same as giving all children attention whenever they in words for them or guess what they are going to
demand it! say, as this may add to their distress.

● The age of the child or young person – You may need additional training – for example,
children of different ages will require varying in sign language – to be able to communicate
levels of attention. Children may need more effectively or know the most effective strategies
reassurance, particularly when they first transfer to use. In some cases where pupils have special
to secondary school. They may also need educational needs, you may need to have additional
to have more physical contact as a result. equipment in order to communicate with one another.
As children mature, and particularly during
puberty, they may need more help with talking Functional skills
through issues and reflecting on their thoughts.
You will need to adapt your vocabulary as older ICT: Finding and selecting information
children are oen more self-conscious and may Maths: Representing
be more emotional.. There is now a wide range of electronic equipment
available to support children and staff who may
● Context – you will be dealing with children in experience barriers to communication, such as
a variety of different situations. You will always sensory impairment or dyslexia. Use the Internet
need to be mindful of this and adapt your verbal to research what is available. You could then speak
communication accordingly. If you are working to whoever is in charge of purchasing equipment
on a learning activity, it is important that the and ask for a rough guide of their budget for such
children are focused and that you deal with equipment. Calculate the most effective way of
any distractions before they interrupt what you spending the budget.
are doing. However, if talking to pupils in more
social situations such as in the dining hall, you
should use this as an opportunity to develop Main differences between
positive relationships with pupils, although you communicating with adults and
should always speak to them in the context
of a professional to a young person... Pupils
with children and young people
may question you about your private life. It There are many similarities between communicating
is sometimes best to answer these kinds of with adults and with children – always maintaining
questions with humour, for example, ‘I don’t eye contact and interest, responding to what they are
think that you would find it very interesting.’ saying, and treating them with courtesy and respect.
Pupils may even ask for your contact details, However, when communicating with children, we also
such as a mobile phone number or if they can need to think about how we maintain the relationship
list your name on their social networking page. of support worker to the child or young person and
You should never give these details or become what this means in a school context. However well
involved in personal communication. you get on with children, remember that they need

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 TDA 3.1 Communication & professional relationships with children, young people & adults

to see you as a carer and that your relationships with difficulties. It is possible that you will adapt the way
them will always need to be formal when in school. you communicate with them without realising that
you are doing it. We oen change the way we react
When communicating with children, we also need to
to others, depending on the way in which they react
be very clear and unambiguous in what we say. They
to us. For example, if you are speaking to a parent
need us to communicate what is expected of them so
or carer who is hearing-impaired, you might make
that they can learn to communicate well themselves.
sure that you are facing them and giving eye contact
Sometimes we forget the importance of making sure
so that they can lip-read. However, if you have
that children understand what we mean and might
contact with adults who have other communication
ask them, ‘What did I just ask you to do?’ when
difficulties, you may need to reflect and make sure
they cannot answer the question! Make sure that the
you adapt your means of communication.
vocabulary and verbal expressions you use are at the
right level for the children.
You also need to be aware that physical contact with Link
children should not be encouraged when communicating See TDA 3.5, pages 75–77, for more on
with them. It can sometimes be hard to avoid this, but communication needs.
you should not offer physical contact with children or be
overly physical with them at any time. Oen, schools will send out or gather information
in a particular way, for example, through letters or
How to adapt communication to emails. Depending on their individual needs, the
meet different communication recipients may not be able to access this method
of communication easily, and this will not always
needs of adults be clear. You may need to observe sensitivity, for
It is important that we are sensitive to the needs of example, if you need to ask a parent or carer why they
other adults, particularly if they have communication have not responded to a note that was sent home.

In what ways can you show interest in what someone is saying?

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 Level 3 Diploma in Supporting Teaching & Learning in Schools (Secondary)

If you need to communicate with other adults who speak disagreement with a child or young person. and you
English as an additional language, you may need to will need to manage this sort of situation carefully
have a translator and meet together if the information and seek advice if necessary. (See also Unit 7 on
you are communicating is complex or difficult to convey. promoting positive behaviour.)

Poor communication
CASE STUDY: Adapting communication to Oen areas of conflict occur when communication has
deal with the needs of adults not been effective. This may be because:

Pritpal’s mother has requested a meeting with his ● letters have not been passed on by parents or children
form teacher because she is unhappy about the ● there is a lack of time
way in which an incident was dealt with. English
● there has been a misunderstanding.
is not her first language. You have been told that
she is very angry that you spoke to Pritpal and The best way to resolve areas of poor communication
reported his behaviour, which resulted in him being is to discuss them to establish a cause, and then find
given detention (which is your school’s policy for a way forward together. The important thing is not to
managing this type of negative behaviour). You ignore the problem or talk to everyone else about it
are upset as Pritpal’s behaviour was unacceptable except the individual concerned.
and you acted according to school policy. The form
teacher has invited you to the meeting with her,
Opposing expectations
Sometimes adults may not have the same ideas
but you are reluctant to do so.
about the purpose of an activity or meeting, or come
• Should you go and speak to Pritpal’s mother with a different idea in mind. You should always clarify
even if you do not want to? exactly the aims of what you are there to do and why.
• How might you reflect on the incident before
going to meet with the parent? Different values and ideas
• How might communication difficulties have Parents and schools may sometimes have different
influenced her reaction? methods of dealing with situations. Whereas the school
• What strategies can you think of to prevent may request that children do things in a particular way,
this from happening again? parental views may be very different. You may need to
work alongside others to explain or clarify why things
need to happen in a different way in school.
How to manage disagreements External factors
It is likely that at some point in your work you will You may be working with an individual who has
have disagreements with others. In many cases, considerable home pressures or other issues, which are
disagreements are down to lack of communication or affecting how they communicate. External professionals
miscommunication with others. However, they should or parents are likely to have time pressures and other
be managed very carefully so that bad feeling does pressures of which you are not aware. As we get to
not persist aerwards. As adults we can sometimes know people, we will be able to identify if they are
misread or perceive information wrongly and may behaving in an uncharacteristic way and be able to ask
think that someone has communicated something to if there is anything wrong or if we can help.
us when they have not. We will sometimes blame
Lack of confidence
others for saying things that could be ambiguous or
Sometimes adults can act in an aggressive way if
for having a different point of view from ourselves.
they are not sure about what they are doing or if
Where there are areas of conflict with other adults, they lack confidence. This may come across in a
you will need to show sensitivity and try to resolve personal way to others, but is more to do with how
the situation as soon as possible. The longer a they perceive themselves and their own abilities.
problem is allowed to go on, the more difficult it You may need to be sensitive to this and offer them
will be to resolve it. You should not be drawn into a encouragement and support.

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 TDA 3.1 Communication & professional relationships with children, young people & adults

Legislation is an area which is constantly under review

BEST PRACTICE CHECKLIST: and you will need to keep up to date through reading
Communicating with others relevant publications.
• Make sure you are friendly and approachable Every Child Matters (England 2005) based
– smile! on the Children Act 2004
• Speak clearly and give eye contact to the This Green Paper stresses the importance of more
person with whom you are speaking. integrated services and sharing of information between
• Ensure you use the correct form of address professionals. It came into being aer the tragic case
when speaking to others. of Victoria Climbié, when there was no communication
• Use an appropriate method of communication between health and social workers.
for the other person. Data Protection Act 1998
• Use positive body language and gestures. In schools we ask parents and carers for a variety of
• Be sympathetic to the needs of others. information so that we are able to care for children as
• Acknowledge the help and support of others effectively as we can while they are with us. However,
as much as you can. we can only ask for information which is directly
relevant – for example:
• Do not interrupt or anticipate what others are
going to say. ● health or medical information
● records from previous schools
● records for children who have special
Functional skills educational needs.
ICT: Developing, presenting and communicating This is confidential information and must be used
information only for the purpose for which it was gathered. If the
The checklist above provides you with an excellent information needs to be passed on to others for any
opportunity to use and develop your ICT skills. reason, parental consent will need to be given. This
You could transfer this information into a poster to usually involves parents signing a consent form.
display in your staff room.

Key term
Understand legislation, Confidential information – information that should
policies and procedures for only be shared with people with a right to have it,
for example, your teacher, your line manager or an
confidentiality and sharing external agency

information, including data

Under the Data Protection Act 1998, any organisation
protection which holds information on individuals needs to be
registered with the Data Protection Commission. This
Legislation and procedures covering is designed to ensure that confidential information
confidentiality, data protection and cannot be passed on to others without the individual’s
consent. There are eight principles of practice which
the disclosure of information govern the use of personal information. Information
Adults who work with children in any setting need to must be:
have some idea about current legislation, as this will
● processed fairly and lawfully
affect their practice. There is an increased awareness
of how important it is to recognise the uniqueness of ● used only for the purpose for which it was
each child and have respect for their human rights. gathered

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 Level 3 Diploma in Supporting Teaching & Learning in Schools (Secondary)

● adequate, relevant and not excessive may sometimes put pressure on them to disclose
information. You should not pass on any information
● accurate and kept up to date where necessary
about the school or the children before being certain
● kept for no longer than necessary that this is the correct thing to do. If you pass on
● processed in line with the individual’s rights information without following the correct channels,
you will be abusing your position of professional trust
● kept secure and this can be very damaging.
● not transferred outside the European Union without You should also be very careful if taking photographs
adequate protection. for displays or if filming children for any purpose;
You will need to be aware of a range of information in again, parental permission will need to be given for
your role as a teaching assistant, from issues around this. You should not take pictures of children for your
the school to the individual needs of the children with portfolio!
whom you work. You should know how and when You should not pass on information to:
to share any information you have access to. If you
are at all concerned or unclear about whom you can ● other children in the school
speak to, your first point of contact should be your ● other parents
line manager, or in the case of children with special
● other professionals unless parents have
educational needs (SEN), the SENCO. Many teaching
been consulted
assistants working in schools are also parents of
children at the same school, and other parents ● visitors.

What damage do you think idle gossip about a child or parent could do?

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 TDA 3.1 Communication & professional relationships with children, young people & adults

from harm or abuse, or if there is a legal obligation

CASE STUDY: Keeping information placed on the school to disclose information, this can
confidential be done (see the following case study). There may
also be cases where information on pupils needs to
You are working as a teaching assistant
be accessible to all staff, for example, where pupils
supporting pupils in Key Stage 3. You have a new
have specific medial conditions such as asthma or
child in Year 7 who is on the autistic spectrum.
epilepsy. In this case there should be an agreed
He is being monitored by all staff during his
system within the school for making sure that all
settling in. You have been asked to support
staff are aware of these pupils. There may also
him as much as you can and have been given
be cases where information on pupils needs to be
information on his background and access to
accessible to staff who need to know – for example,
reports from other professionals. At present, his
where pupils have specific medial conditions such as
behaviour can be unpredictable. A parent who
asthma or epilepsy. In this case there should be an
used to help out at the child’s primary school
agreed system within the school for making sure that
last year has witnessed his behaviour. She is
staff who are in contact with the pupils are aware of
now speaking about it to other parents. One day,
their condition.
as you are leaving the school with your own
daughter, a parent asks you about the child. She
wants to know where he has come from and why Situations when confidentiality
he is in a mainstream school. She says it is ‘not protocols must be breached
the right place for him’.
If you find yourself in a position where another
• What would you say to her? individual confides in you, it is important to
• What would you do if other parents continued to remember that there are some situations in which
ask you about the child and voice their opinions? you will need to tell others. This is particularly true
in cases of suspected child abuse or when a child
or young person is at risk. You should at all times
Key term tell the individual that you will not be able to keep
confidentiality if they disclose something to you which
Autistic spectrum – a spectrum of psychological
you cannot keep to yourself for these reasons.
conditions characterised by widespread
abnormalities of social interactions and
communication, as well as severely restricted
CASE STUDY: Procedures for sharing
interests and highly repetitive behaviour
information
Chris works in a secondary school where he
Reassuring children, young people supports children with special educational needs.
and adults of the confidentiality of He lives locally and one day when he was
leaving school, he was stopped in the street by
shared information a parent who told him information about another
When you are party to gathering information, pupil at the school. Chris has noticed that the
whatever this is, you may sometimes be in a position child referred to has been missing school quite
where you need to reassure others about the fact that regularly, and when he is there, he appears
it is confidential. If you attend meetings or need to withdrawn. The parent asks Chris not to tell
be told about confidential items, you should make anyone else, but says that she is very concerned
sure that you let others know your obligations. In and is asking for his advice.
most cases, parental consent would need to be • What should Chris say to the parent?
given before any information about children can be • Why should Chris act immediately in this
shared with other professionals. However, if there instance?
are any issues to indicate that the child is at risk

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 Level 3 Diploma in Supporting Teaching & Learning in Schools (Secondary)

Getting ready for assessment

Your school has an open-door policy, and parents In this unit you will need to show that you know
and other adults are always welcome. Recently what to do in sensitive situations such as the
there has been an incident where a parent has above, where there are communication issues or
complained to you at home-time that the open-door relationships between adults or children have broken
policy is not a reality. She has said that teachers are down. You may or may not have had to deal with
always too busy to speak to her, and anyway it is them.
so difficult to get into the school because of security
• If you have not, you can use the portfolio
measures that she does not feel the description of
activities and case studies in this unit so you can
‘open door’ to be particularly accurate. She says that
show that you know what procedures you would
she has already mentioned it to the head teacher
follow.
some time ago, but nothing seems to have been
• If you have been involved in a situation where
done about it.
communication has broken down, and do not
• What would be your first reaction in this want to write a reflective account about it, you can
situation? tell your assessor about it during a professional
• What else could you do or say in order to support discussion. They can then record that you have told
the parent? them and whether you have acted appropriately.
• Can you think of any other strategies which would The actual incident and individuals involved will
help to deal with the complaint? not need to be named. This will avoid recording
• Why is it important that you and the school act any sensitive information in your portfolio.
to resolve this matter?

Functional skills
English: Speaking, listening and communication
When holding a professional discussion, it is
important always to think about using appropriate
language and to keep the discussion moving.

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 TDA 3.1 Communication & professional relationships with children, young people & adults

Check your knowledge

1. What key things should you remember in order to 5. Give two differences you may need to consider
communicate effectively with others? between communicating with children and
2. How can you develop positive relationships with communicating with adults.
children as well as adults? 6. How can you make sure that you do not have
3. What kinds of contexts may affect relationships disagreements with others? (For example, what
and how you communicate with others? kinds of strategies could you use?)

4. In which of these situations might you need to 7. What should you do if you have concerns about a
adapt the way in which you communicate with child who has confided in you, but the child has
others? asked you not to tell anyone?

a) if the individual has communication difficulties

b) if you do not have time to speak to them properly
c) if the child is distressed
d) if they have not understood what you are saying.

USEFUL WEBSITES
www.atl.org.uk – Association of Teachers and Lecturers
www.businesslink.gov.uk – Business Link
www.education.gov.uk – Department for Education: you can obtain the SEN Code of Practice 2001 England and
Wales from this site
www.everychildmatters.gov.uk – Every Child Matters (DfE)
www.restorativejustice.org.uk – Restorative Justice Consortium
www.transformingconflict.org – Transforming Conflict
www.unicef.org – UNICEF
www.unison.org.uk – UNISON
www.voicetheunion.org.uk – Voice: the union for education professionals

Functional skills
ICT: Using ICT
You should keep a log in a Word document of all
the relevant websites that you find, so that you
can refer back to them. Make sure that you save
this file with an appropriate name so that you can
retrieve it a later date in order to edit your list.

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