Konosuba Volume 11: The

Great Magus’ Sister

TL: YuNS, Uranophane

Editing: Deus ex-Machina, Hero600, Keel the Swift, Shaoqi

epub & pdf editing: einBeo

 Prologue
That day–

At the Japanese-styled room in Belzerg’s royal castle.

“Ahahahaha! Ahahahahaha! Hey Kazuma, look at this! I

used the flyers from the shopping street to make that weirdo
devil’s mask!”

“Buahahaha! What the heck is this? If you didn’t tell, I

would’ve never thought that this was made of flyers! You
really are good at this kind of thing!”

After safely escorting Iris back, we were invited to Claire’s

reception, where we let loose with drunken fervor.

“Fuahahahah! The devil that sees through all shall hence

announce: Thou, who looks soberly looks upon us beholding
an amused expression, who is a lady who possesses large
biceps; the digestion of alcohol requires protein. If thou
shouldst drink more, then the hard muscles that troubled
thee may soften somewhat.”

“Buhahahahaha! That’s just like him!”

“S-, Shut up you drunkards! And Aqua, don’t say that I have
hard muscles!”
Aqua, who wore the flyer-made Vanir mask, gave a lifelike
impression of Vanir. In response, Darkness’ face turned beet
red.

“Just let me drink already! I’m already of marriageable age,

so why am I still being treated like a child!!?”

Megumin, who wasn’t allowed to drink alcohol, questioned

Darkness.

“W-, Well even if you ask me that, Megumin, it’s not a

difference of age, but more like, well, a difference of physical
maturity or something like that, I guess? Megumin, uhm,
compared to other people, your development is a bit… “

I followed after Darkness, who began to trail off.

“Ahyahyahyahyahyahyhya! Good one-!”

“That’s not a ‘good one’! Hey, what’s so funny, you

drunkard! Hand over the bottle you’re holding please! …Ah,
what are you doing with your hand, give it! Hng, agh,
hiyahhhhhhhhhh!?”

I mercilessly used ‘Drain Touch’ against Megumin, who tried

to pry the bottle from my hands. Seeing the situation unfold,
Aqua began to cackle loudly.

“Ahahahahah, Ahahahahaha! Good one-!”

“There’s nothing good about that! Hey, I said that there’s

nothing good about that, you hear me!? And what the heck
are you doing Kazuma!? If you take away my magic power
then I won’t be able to use explosion magic today, won’t I!?
You’ll return it later right!?”

I merely showed a funny smile in response to Megumin’s

angry outburst.

“Good one-!”

“This guy!”

Ignoring Megumin who grappled me, I gleefully glanced over

the mess of people in the Japanese-styled room.

“Kazuma-san Kazuma-san, let’s drink all the wine they have

in this castle!”

“Alrighty then, let’s fill me upper’ then I’ll show you all a
‘Create Water’ where you don’t need to use magic power at
all!”

“You friggin scumbag! How dare you say such a dirty joke!”

“Oi someone come here! If you aren’t busy can you please
bring these two peeps back to their rooms!?

As Aqua and I listened to Megumin and Darkness’ cries–

“Hey Kazuma, I had a lot of fun today! I mean, this is the first
time that our hard work and accomplishments have actually
been recognized this well!”

“You got that right! For whatever reason, when we actually

got down and did stuff in the past, we would end up with
even more debt or in some kind of crazy situation. Even in
the best case all we got were some money or awards or
whatever!”

Today, I enjoyed myself to the fullest.

 Chapter 1: Awakening of this
Lolicon NEET
Part 1
It was as though a quake had struck the militant nation
Belzerg that day.

The princess of this nation which bordered the demon king’s

territory returned home with the title of ‘Dragon Slayer’.

–Having been Iris’ bodyguards during the excursion to the

neighboring nation Elroad, we were involved in a variety of
events.

It all began with our request for funds to resist the demon
king army, which developed into the series of gambles with
the prince, and ended with the dragon subjugation.

In the very end, we discovered that the prime minister of

Elroad was actually a doppelganger that had infiltrated their
ranks, and saved the nation from an imminent crisis.

Although all I did was play with the prince using fraudulent
gambles… Well, strictly by results, one could say I have
done a great deal.
The greatest problem, Iris’ engagement, was also resolved.

I suppose this would be the time to say ‘and they all lived
happily ever after’, but…

“Well done Kazuma‑dono, I have truly misunderstood you!

What you’ve achieved this time was far beyond my
expectations!”

After returning to the castle with Iris, we were sent to the

audience room where we reported the results of this journey.
After that, I was greeted by the white-suited lady, Claire,
whose eyes glimmered in excitement.

In a rare moment of understanding, everyone else waited

patiently behind me.

“No, this was all due to Iris’ hard work. I only did a few things
to assist her.”

“Such humility… To be honest, I wouldn’t have cared if the

funds were completely cut as long as Iris‑sama’s
engagement was called off. With that in mind, for you to
manage to get the funding whilst also voiding the
engagement, as well as saving Elroad from a desperate
situation to get them to owe us a favor is…!”

Moved so much that her voice became shrill , she continued

to speak her heart out.

“Claire! Which is more important, my engagement or the

nation’s funding!? If we weren’t able to get these funds, then
we wouldn’t be able to fight against the demon king army,
you know!?”

“Of course the matter of your engagement is more

important, Iris‑sama. As long as you are safe, the demon
king army can do whatever they—OWOWOW! Iris‑sama,
have you become more violent since returning!?”

Iris had pounced her, holding Claire, who writhed in pain, in

an iron grip. As Claire continued to struggle, she said to the
four of us.

“Either way, it’s a job well done. You can have whatever you
like for your rewards, just name it.”

Claire, who spoke to us in all seriousness, continued to be

constricted by the hold. Her face seemed to redden by the
second, but I could feel a little bit of happiness in her
expression.

Well then, what about the reward?

Now that I think about it, she’s completely infatuated by Iris,

so she could be called a like-minded comrade of sorts.

“Didn’t we already decide on the reward?”

Claire seemed to have a moment of realization as I said

that. It seems like she remembered about our agreement
before I left previously.

As a reward for voiding the engagement between Iris and

the prince, Claire would tell me all about Iris’ childhood.

It was just a little agreement, but…

“Now that I think about it, that is the case Kazuma‑dono…

Let me treat you all to a banquet to commend your efforts
then . I shall give you your reward then, Kazuma‑dono.”

Claire seems to have understood my intent.

“I won’t let you sleep tonight, alright?”

“Eh-!?” x3

As everyone other than Aqua and I reacted with a surprised

shout, I smiled to myself.

“—What’s up with this chick, she can’t drink at all!”

The banquet had only begun for about ten or so minutes.

Despite that, Claire was already teeter-tottering after

drinking about half a cup of alcohol.

The venue of the banquet seemed like it would be quite to

the liking of Japanese people who had come from another
world. Although it was still a bit off, the floor was made of
tatami-like mats, and it was decorated in a way that would
give the impression of a Japanese room.

“Uuuh, Kazuma-dono, m-, my apologies…”

Claire, who had quickly been brought down by the alcohol,
pressed towards me and muttered her apologizes with a
flushed face.

Although she may be a pervert that loved little girls, she

definitely looked the part of a noble lady.

To be honest, having a girl pressing their upper body

against you whilst sitting cross-legged was not a bad feeling
at all.

If I had to describe it, it would be like having a pretty onee-

san fall asleep on your shoulder on the train.

“Since when did Onii-sama and Claire get along so well?”

With a cup of juice in hand, Iris approached the two of us

with a hint of irritation in her .

“Oh, what is it Iris? Are you jealous? It’s alright, onii-chan’s

type is beautiful and busty onee-sans. So…”

“………”

Huh, I suppose that Claire’s appearance would more or less

be my type then…

Under Iris’ speechless stare, I fell silent.

Before long, Iris pushed to take a seat in between Claire and

I, and let Claire doze off on her lap.

Claire will probably regret getting drunk now.

Iris stroked Claire’s hair, and without raising her head, she
said–

“Onii-sama, what do you plan on doing after this banquet?

Are you going back to Axel so soon?”

Although it appeared that she was muttering to herself, it

seemed like she wanted to confirm my future plans.

“Hmm, now that you ask… Recently, I’ve been doing nothing
but subjugating evil gods and being your bodyguard. So I
think it’s about time to take a good long break.”

It’s about time? Usually, it’d be more correct to say that ‘it’s
about time to go on adventure’…

“If you’d like to take a rest, couldn’t you do it here? There

are a lot of empty rooms, and you’re also in no rush to head
home, right?”

Iris continued to face away from me and look towards Claire,

who rested soundly on her lap. Unlike her usual self, Iris was
straightforward with what she wanted this time.

In the past she would hide behind Claire and would always
speak through her attendant, giving a very mature
impression despite being a child.

I’m not sure if it’s due to someone’s influence, but now, she
would occasionally act her own age.

That’s not to say that I don’t like the Iris who acted
withdrawn and was aware of her surroundings, but
personally, I like her natural self much more.

“Well, if you say that, I guess it won’t hurt to stay here a little
longer.”

Back when I infiltrated the castle as a thief, I had fought

against many of the soldiers stationed here.

Although my face was hidden and my voice was changed,

there was a risk that my physique and habits will reveal my
identity.

“I’m glad that Iris yearns for me this much, but this is a
dangerous decision to make…”

“If it’s possible…”

As I was lost in my thoughts…

Iris, with her head still lowered, spoke with a lonely soft
voice.

“If it’s possible, I’d like to live with everyone…”

Thus, we decided to live in the castle.

 Part 2
“Good morning, Dragon Slayer.”

“Onii‑sama, please don’t call me ‘Dragon Slayer’… I know

that’s what the residents of the capital have all been calling
me, but I wish they would switch to another title too…”

Blushing shyly, Iris lowered her head.

Under Claire’s hospitality, we’re currently staying at the

capital.

That’s right.

The time has come for the life of luxury together with Iris that
I so dreamed of.

“Look, Iris, even though you say that, the title of ‘Dragon
Slayer’ isn’t something you hear every day. Isn’t this worth
celebrating on a national scale? Remember how Claire
could barely catch her breath out of excitement when she
exclaimed ‘I always knew princess Iris was capable of great
deeds’?”

“Please don’t mind Claire, she had recently come to me

quite a few times to hear my heroic dragon slaying tales.”

Speaking of which, Claire also still visits me every day.

Since Iris killed the so-called Golden Dragon in one shot, I

could only tell her that ‘the dragon died after what seemed to
be an extremely powerful attack from Iris’, yet she kept
coming everyday just to hear that short description.

While Claire had initially disagreed with us taking on a

dragon, explaining how sticky the situation would’ve been
had princess Iris been injured, she has now been completely
mesmerized by Iris’ heroism.

Possibly out of gratitude, she hadn’t complained at all

regarding our blatantly lazy and self-indulgent life in the
capital.

Furthermore, as I gained newfound respect from her for

ruining Iris’ marriage, we had developed such a relationship
as to occasionally drink through midnight in the name of Iris’
youth.

“Well then, onii‑chan will get changed now, so just wait in

the courtyard for a bit, Iris. We’ll eat together when the maid
is done with the mayo salmon onigiri.

“All right! I love mayo salmon!”

Having taken a liking to the junk food we had on our trip, she
had apparently described to the maids exactly what kind of
cuisine we let her have.

Though at first they shot me cold looks of ‘what kind of junk

have you been feeding our princess?’, they still forgave me
when they saw Iris happily eating mayo salmon onigiri.

Compared to the boring royal high-class cuisine, the food

she’d once enjoyed with friends probably tastes better.

“See you later then, onii‑sama!”

That said, Iris went off in a hurry to order her bento—

—And like this, we lazed through three more days at the

capital.

I left the capital today to do the usual business with

Megumin.

“…Even you came along? But it’s forbidden for the princess
of a nation to enter the dangerous suburbs.”

“Being the Dragon Slayer has earned me certain excursion

privileges, worry not. Besides, since very strong monsters
lurk near the capital, I’m worried for onii‑sama’s safety.”

Since recently, Iris also started attending Megumin’s daily

explosion.

Ever since returning from Elroad, the two have gotten along
strangely well.

I’m bothered whenever Iris accidentally says “Big Boss”, but

they are the two most affectionate girls towards me I
currently have to work with.

So keeping Megumin company like this, could Iris be

preventing us from getting any time alone?
Not to be narcissistic, but I’m confident that they would both
fall for me with just a little effort from my side.

…No, Megumin aside, I’m not enough of a lolicon to

consider Iris a partner.

But to make a prediction, I’d say the chances for the adult
Iris to become onii‑chan’s bride are quite high.

Rather, I’ll be permanently residing in the capital and

chasing away those men who dare approach Iris.

That way, one day I’ll surely turn from her admirable brother
into her romantic partner; then finally…

“Kazuma, we’ve arrived! Here it is: the explosion spot I’m so

fond of. Beyond the rock field lies a gathering spot for
monsters. A good shot there would also conveniently net me
experience points.”

Unaware of Megumin stopping, I was lost in thought when

she had turned to me.

Argh, this is no good.

“Well let’s be done with it and go back soon… By the way,

what do you two think of me?”

I asked them in as natural of a way as I can, trying hard to

maintain a handsome expression in the process.

“What are you saying so suddenly? What do you mean what

do we think of you? Have you been a little too bored lately?
All I’ve seen of you has been unusual behavior. You better
stop going with Aqua to bush-sculpting in the courtyard;
while Aqua’s works looked beautiful and were rated highly,
Kazuma’s dog-bush was strongly disliked.”

I had been trying to form a bear.

Following Megumin, even Iris added,

“Onii‑sama, no matter how bored you feel, I still hope you

would refrain from instructing the soldiers in training. I
wouldn’t have minded if onii‑sama were skilled, but as it
stands, the soldiers are already calling you ‘the strange
guest who pretends to be a teacher despite often losing’…”

“Don’t mind what I’ve been doing lately, I was just bored! No,
uhm… Look, there must be plenty more to say about me,
such as whether you have feelings for me. Just say how
much you like me, I want to hear you two say it yourselves!”

By now not a hint of discretion is left. Hearing my request,

they shared a glance, and Megumin said,
“Why does it matter? As I said, I like Kazuma. Why ask this
all of the sudden?”

“I-I also uhm…l-like…onii‑sama…”

“Okay, I see; onii‑san’s in the wrong. Iris, I’m satisfied with

your effort. And Megumin, I’m happy to verify your view of
me.”

I comforted them as I spoke, trying to be smooth as an adult.

“What is going on? Did Kazuma hit his head today? As if he

wasn’t odd enough already, what he had been saying was
even stranger.”

“O-or in other words, onii‑sama has been acting quite

disgusting…”

“Iris, shh! Don’t say stuff like that, even if you know it’s true!”

A little unexpected psychological damage aside, the

outcome had been within my predictions.

What would happen if they grew up like this.

Would they develop jealousy for me?

“Worry not, you two; I’m a very generous man who would
never leave one side out.”
“Iris, for some reason I feel furious right now. Why don’t we
knock some sense into him before our daily explosions?”

“Onii‑sama is really quite disgusting today. Did you hit your

head somewhere?”

Despite their rough treatment, my new life at the capital was

still pretty peaceful; well deserved considering all the work
I’ve done—

The NEET of the capital wakes up early.

“Heidel! Heidel!”

In case you wish to know why… When you’re living a

luxurious life with butlers and maids at your service, not
even a second should be wasted on sleeping.

“How may I help you, Satou‑sama? Is it your morning

coffee? Or do you wish to have breakfast in bed? Today’s
breakfast is exactly as Satou‑sama had requested: goose
liver miso soup.”

As if reading my mind, the personal butler from before,

Heidel, immediately answered.

“Breakfast will be in bed. A coffee before that would also be

great. On top of that…”

“Tell the maid Mary to put on a shorter skirt before coming,

is it?”
I marveled at how quickly Heidel saw through my thoughts.

Is this the level of competence held by royal servants?

“I expected nothing less, Heidel. I’m glad you memorized my

preferences.”

“It is my pleasure to have my name remembered, sir. To

make punishing Mary easier, I have repositioned the vase
so that it would fall over more easily.”

This man is unbelievably competent.

I nodded with satisfaction. Gracefully sipping the coffee that

Heidel had quickly brewed, I opened to read the newspaper.

At this point, I’ve undoubtedly become a high-class member

of the castle.

“Lots of snow sprites this year; the winter’s gonna be harsh.

Will the Adventurer’s Guild raise the rewards for eliminating
snow sprites…? Heidel, this will surely affect this year’s
harvest of farm products. Make an investment on my
account in profitable farm products.”

“Understood, Satou‑sama. Which types of produce shall we

purchase?”

“…Erm, just…buy the ones that’d be hit hard. The type that
would see less harvest with cold.”

“Understood, I shall decide for you then.”

Nothing but the best from Heidel, knowing when to give his
master a way out. Absolutely competent.

“Well then, that’ll be that. So, what are the plans for today?”

I asked, sipping my coffee. Heidel took out his memo in

response.

“The events in the morning are as follows. First up is

checking out the contents of the treasure storeroom with
Aqua‑sama while disguised as the quality inspectors. Later,
Aqua‑sama will use her party tricks in the courtyard and pull
an Amano-Iwato to preven—…invite Iris‑sama, who would
be busy studying, out to play.”

<TL note: Japanese mythology. Involves throwing a party

and dancing lewdly to distract guards.>

Heidel read expressionlessly as he flipped through the

memo.

“—Going in the afternoon with Megumin‑sama to her daily

explosion experiments in the suburbs; after that, inspecting
armouries around the capital with Lady Dustiness.”

“Gee, today sure is busy. What’s for tonight?”

“The evening is currently free; on another note, Lady

Dustiness has been invited to a gala. What do you think?”

Just how competent can this butler get?

“Of course I would sneak into the gala…to foil other men’s
flirtation with Darkness.”

“Understood. I’ll make the preparations.”

Heidel bowed politely and left the room to retrieve my

breakfast—

“—Good morning Satou‑sama. Today’s breakfast is exactly

as Satou‑sama had requested; a miso soup with extra
truffle. What do you think of it?”

“Tastes like miso.”

“Is that so. I’ll go prepare your coffee then, please enjoy your
soup.”

We’ve been staying at the capital for a week.

I’ve gotten used to the noble lifestyle, living my days busily

yet eventfully.

“Heidel, the plans for today are…?”

“The itinerary for today is as follows. Going in the morning

with Megumin‑sama to protest at the capital’s newspaper
bureau and force them to publish a special documentary on
Satou‑sama and Megumin‑sama. After that, Aqua‑sama
invited you to participate in her Axis sermon. In the
afternoon, Iris‑sama and Lady Dustiness wishes to go on a
monster hunting quest with you around the capital. Finally,
attending a night sky explosion show hosted by
Megumin‑sama in the evening.”

Heidel swiftly answered as he made my after-breakfast

coffee. I nodded as I drank the coffee.

“Let’s cancel the afternoon quest. Tell Iris I’ll show my true
abilities starting tomorrow. Instead, let Megumin do her
explosion show earlier, in that time slot. Darkness will likely
be invited to another party tonight, gotta be there.”

“Certainly, as you wish. By the way, Lady Dustiness wants

me to tell you to not sneak into her parties…” Though he’s
competent, he still has work to do when it comes to women.

“You’re not getting the point, Heidel. It’s something called

pride, to say ‘hate’ when they really mean ‘like’. In other
words, by telling me to not go, Darkness in fact wants me
there.”

“Is that so? I indeed lack experience. Heidel respects your

guidance. Since going unarmed lacks shock value, I’ll go
prepare a party-sized cake and make this a surprise for
Lady Dustiness!”

As expected of Heidel, self-correcting in an instant. Now

that’s what I’m proud of.

“Not bad, let’s go with that… Wait, no, we could still make
this more interesting. Let’s do it this way; you make me a
hollow cake big enough to fit me inside, then I’ll be delivered
to the event unnoticed. Just as everyone ponders who had
brought the cake, it would crack down the middle and I
would emerge spectacularly. How does it sound?”

“Genius indeed, Satou‑sama! I could already picture the

guests standing there dumbstruck. I’ll start the preparation at
once.”

Having said that, Heidel left with a respectful bow.

—Two weeks since I’ve become a noble.

Even though I’ve completely integrated into the castle,

something still bothers me slightly.

“Good morning, Satou‑sama. Today’s breakfast, by

Satou‑sama’s request, will be caviar miso soup.”

As he spoke, Heidel pushed the overbed table in place with

the breakfast.

<TL note: a sliding table that hovers slightly above the bed>

“Heidel, thank you for all you’ve done for me. I truly am
grateful… However, I am dissatisfied with but one thing in
everyday life.”

Hearing my complaint, Heidel lowered his head with a face

of realization.

“My sincerest apologies, Satou‑sama. Heidel had actually

been aware of Satou‑sama’s annoyances.”
Heidel is still competent as ever.

Did he really notice even my dissatisfactions?

“Were you unhappy with the quality of your miso soup?”

“Not that, not at all! Now that you mention it, the miso soup
did indeed taste strange. I only asked for food made with
high-grade ingredients in general, not to have them all be
added to my miso soup! When I say I wanted saltier soup, I
didn’t ask for caviar!”

I exclaimed while staring daggers at Heidel.

“I’d say… Have people here been seeing me as only

trouble?”

I told him what I’ve been always thinking recently.

“…………I do not believe that is true.”

“What’s with that suspicious pause? Why couldn’t you

answer more decisively!? Don’t avoid my sight, what are you
implying!?”

At first, everyone in the capital were grateful and admirative

for assisting Iris.

But after two weeks, I felt their looks gradually fade into
ones of “how much longer does this guy plan to stay”.

In response to my questioning, Heidel seemed reluctant to

speak. Nonetheless, he answered,
“Does Satou‑sama have a clue?”

“How should I know? Was it from that time when I snuck into
Darkness’ party in a cake? Didn’t that end with the cake
being returned with me still inside due to no one being
willing to eat such a shady cake…? Other than that, I could
only think of Iris.”

At that moment, someone knocked on the door, and the

familiar maid Mary entered.

“My apologies for interrupting, Satou‑sama. Lady Dustiness

wishes to see you. Please hurry to the reception room—“

Part 3
“Let’s go back.”

“Rejected.”

I went to the reception room at Darkness’ request.

With her were Aqua and Megumin, who had already packed
their belongings; the former sobbing about not wanting to
leave and annoying the latter speechless.

I knew what Darkness was going to say the moment I was

called here; therefore, I answered in a flash to her unilateral
demand.
Darkness sighed deeply. She probably predicted my
response as well.

“Say, Kazuma, hasn’t life been just too perfect over the past
two weeks? Haven’t you had enough of their hospitality?
The castle’s residents have gotten significantly less thankful
—understandably so, for you only know to indulge. Do you
really want to squander hard-earned respect this way?

Complained Darkness as she handed me several letters.

Since they’ve been opened, she probably meant for me to

read them.

“‘For Satou Kazuma‑sama.

When I grow up, I want to be like Satou‑sama rather than a

cursed sword wielding adventurer or some prince of justice.
Mommy told me, while Satou‑sama has the weakest job, he
still defeated many bad guys and is very strong. So, I want
to be like Satou‑sama too.’…?”

They were the fabled fan mail.

I proceeded to read more.

“‘For Satou‑sama.

Daddy read the newspaper to me. It talked about how

Princess Iris was saved thanks to Satou‑sama. Thank you
for helping my beloved Princess Iris. Please let me be your
bride when I grow up.’”

They’re probably from children.

Beside the childish printing was a drawing of an Iris-looking

girl.

I read through the letters one by one and reached the final
piece.

“‘For Satou‑sama.

I heard that Satou‑sama is very weak. That’s what my

mommy and daddy told me. But they also said that although
you’re weak, you still killed demon generals and are
someone amazing. I don’t understand complicated stuff, but
Satou‑sama must be working hard even though he’s weak,
so I think that he should take a rest. Please look after your
health, hope you live very long! Thank you so much for
helping Princess Iris!’”

Having read these letters, my heart seemed to soften.

Darkness giggled naughtily at my reaction.

“…What do you think? Why not take that child’s suggestion

and actually rest? You too, Aqua. Let’s stop with the whining
and have a read.”

Darkness passed my letters to Aqua.

“Now that’s the Kazuma I teamed up with. So, please bear

with me; If the worse comes to worst, I’ll still be there to
praise you back in Axel.”

She continued happily yet pridefully.

“…Seems like the person only good at seduction and threats

has improved. When you put it that way, I feel bad for
staying. Not gonna lie, I’m hard to convince. You’d better live
up to your promise when we get back.”

“Alright, you can count on me! Want me to clean your back

again?”

…Seeing us happily discuss this topic face-to-face,

“Oi, there’s been a lot of PDA between you two lately.

Remember where we are. Shouldn’t that wait till we get
back?”

“What do you mean PDA!? Y-you see, I’ve talked to Kazuma

on the trip about this, but until now, I haven’t done anything
to thank him for all his help… So, as a noble, I must…
uhm…”

Eyes shining red, Megumin grabbed and shook Darkness

who shrunk down as her voice trailed off.

“You’re blatantly older than me, so what’s the hold up!? At

this stage, rather than talking about cleaning backs, isn’t it
about time for you to confess as well, Darkness? Your night
raids have all gone south, so why don’t you just say your
feelings loud and clear like me!? That way I’d also be
justified in eliminating you!”

“I’m being eliminated!? My feelings are not like Megumin’s…

Besides, I bear the name of a noble, my family would not
like me choosing a partner of commoner status…”

Seeing Darkness twiddle her fingers in fetal position despite

being violently shaken, Megumin finally lost it.

“Before, you were adamantly refusing to date, so aren’t you

ashamed of still using familial matters as an excuse? You
too, Kazuma, give her a piece of your… Kazuma? What
have you been mumbling about just now?”

As the bystander, I can safely claim to be the uncontested

head of my staunch harem.

I had recently also received satisfactory answers about

Megumin and Iris’ feelings.

I’m anything but dense.

I always knew Darkness had the tingles for me despite

constantly making up excuses.

Knowing is only half my game; I also wish to watch them

compete for me.
No, can’t forget Iris after she grows up; that’d make it three.

So that’s what it feels like to be a lady-killer.

And I’ve also come to understand why romance becomes

sour at the stage where the near-first base competitors
become aware of each other.

After all, I wouldn’t be watching this scene had I chosen my

route.

Even though I sometimes console them and break apart

fights…

“Still I could watch this for about an hour or so.”

“Look at this guy!”

The moment I said that, Megumin switched her target from

Darkness to me. Just as she was about to charge—

“I’ve made up my mind, Kazuma!”

Announced Aqua who had been reading fan letters this

whole time,

“Let’s think back to our roots, shall we? That’s right, our
hope was to defeat the unholy Demon King and bring about
world peace! These children’s letters reminded me of my
true duty! Alright, Kazuma, let’s go level up back in Axel!
Guiding you, the weakling, from zero to hero is my obligation
as a goddess! It’s time for the Goddess of Water to cast light
upon these children’ future!”
I took a moment to diagnose her before remembering how
easily motivated this girl was.

Although, I can marginally understand her logic now.

“I get it, Aqua. When we go back to Axel, we’ll return to our

roots and do quests for the Adventurers Guild. After we get
back in the swing of it, we shall show the Demon King who’s
boss. People are closely watching our actions. Since the
children are cheering for us, what excuse do we have to not
give it our all?”

That’s right, returning to our roots.

Even though things have been hectic lately, we still must

return to our roots and think about our dreams as new
adventurers.

Remember the joy of arriving in another world; remember

my oath of starting life from zero as a new man.

“Not bad for Kazuma, who recently got the title of

‘Lolizuma’!”

“Hey, who the hell called me that!? ‘Scumzuma’ or

‘Kazutrash’ I could care less about, but not that!”

Part 4
On that day, Darkness and company returned to Axel
without me.

I planned to go with them, but ultimately succumbed to Iris’

lonely gaze.

I’ll stay for one last day.

Being praised as a hero, Iris had been busy recently; she

wanted to chat with me alone tonight.

To her sincerity, Darkness and Megumin could only nod and

smile bitterly.

Then…

“It’s been a long time since onii‑sama came to my room.

Make yourself comfortable, I’ll go fetch Claire’s dessert.”

After dinner, I came to Iris’ room.

My eyes explored the party-sized bedroom. As if suddenly

noticing something, Iris quickly swept an object on her
bedside table under her pillow.

“Oi, what’s with the secrecy. My, are you hiding an ero-
magazine? Actually, Iris is about the age for that stuff.
Though you ought to hide it better, or else your servants will
surely toss it out.”

“Not at all, it’s nothing like that! I’ve been hiding this, the
ring!”
Iris hurriedly took out the ring I bought her from the trip to
Elroad.

“If I wore this, Claire would certainly disapprove of its

cheapness as unfitting of royalty and confiscate it. So, I
could only wear it during sleep…”

Seeing Iris say that as she shyly looked up at me, I

developed a sudden urge to stay at the capital. I, however,
immediately scrutinized myself for bearing such a thought.

I already promised everyone that I’ll only stay for one more
day.

If I told them now that I’m staying, those three would lose
their minds in any case.

I avoided her stare of mass willpower destruction as best as

I could and turned my eyes to the ring she’s carefully
holding.

“I knew I should’ve bought a more expensive one. Money

was no problem, but this was the only kind for sale.
Apologies, better quality would’ve saved you a lot of
hardship.”

“No, I do like it. While expensive rings have big, brilliant

gems, this small one is very cute.”

Iris looked at her ring with genuine joy.

It can’t go on like this; Iris’ every move wreaks havoc to my

will.

Wake up Satou Kazuma, she’s your sister, your sister.

First, I’m no lolicon. Although I’m fine with her adult form, Iris
is definitely outside my strike zone for now.

Besides, didn’t I also have development with Megumin

lately?

Am I really a man so easily swayed? I question myself

sometimes.

“A-as long as you like it. That aside, what do you wish to
play tonight? …No, hold on; I bought card game sets from
Elroad, I’ll let you play with my secondary deck.”

Saying that, I went to grab my cards; however, Iris gently

held onto my shirt.

“Wait, let’s not play games tonight. Since we rarely have

some alone time, I want to hear onii‑sama’s stories.”

She said timidly.

“—And this is what I told him: ‘Someone who also plays this
game during work or school couldn’t be my enemy. Join our
guild, I say, Here you shall meet real friends…’ And that’s
how the strongest, most famous hikiNEET switched to our
guild, making us truly, indisputably the biggest guild yet.
Ever since then… Well, many things happened that led to its
collapse. What happened afterwards we’ll save for next
time.”

“Wait, onii‑sama is going back tomorrow, who knows when

next time will be! What really happened, please tell me at
least the beginning!”

I sat on the bed with Iris, both deep in reminiscence.

Though I say that, in reality it was basically all my fault.

Iris must not have many exciting memories living in the

castle, so she’s very interested in mine.

“Guess it really can’t be helped. Just the beginning, all right?

…Once upon a time, our guild had a new member called
‘Dark † Angel’. This new girl was the beginning of the end
for our guild.”

“Wait, this beginning is too interesting to leave the rest for

next time! What did that woman do!? I can’t sleep without
knowing this!”

It was a dark piece of history, but somehow Iris found it

unusually interesting.

“I don’t want to go too much into detail… To summarize the

gist, I guess I’ll use the singular word ‘princess’.”

“Princess, huh? …Eh!? Unless you’re saying this

Princess‑sama became lovers with someone in the guild…?”

I was talking about the infamous act of girl-carrying in online

games, yet Iris had no trouble understanding it.

<TL note: the act of assisting a weaker female player

through much higher ranks than intended for her, often
receiving romantic relationships in return>

Even though my description was vague, she still saw the

true meaning.

“Impressive thinking. Indeed, that princess stirred up big

problems.”

“Is that so; after all, they do have a great difference in

status…”

At this moment, while Iris was busy telling her thoughts, I

noticed something in her hand.

As if noticing my shift in focus, Iris bashfully handed the item

to me.

“Uhm, please take this. Big Boss…I mean, Megumin taught

me how to make it. She says it is a traditional crimson
demon lucky charm. Since onii‑sama often winds up in
grave situations, I thought I might try and make one…”

It’s the traditional crimson demon lucky charm that Megumin

gave me once upon a time.

From what I remember, the charm contained magical hairs

of powerful crimson mages.

“Many thanks. I prefer a quiet life too, but troubles always

seek me out; furthermore, the source of those troubles are
often my own teammates.”

Seeing me stash the charm into my pocket, Iris happily said,

“After onii‑sama goes back, I won’t be able to adventure

anymore… So please, at least take the charm with you.”

As she spoke, a lonely expression subtly veiled her face.

“—All right. We got a bit carried away with my storytelling.

It’s quite late, too; I should head to bed soon.”

To lessen the bashful and bitter atmosphere left from

passing over the charm, we continued chatting for a little
while, barely aware that it is already midnight.

If I don’t leave soon, Claire will probably come storming in.

As I prepared to stand up from the bed…

“…Don’t.”

Suddenly, Iris clutched my shirt tightly.

“E-even if you say that, nothing could change. Don’t worry,

I’ll be back. If anyone stops me, be it Claire or some guards,
I still have the pendant that Darkness lent me. Although
Claire retrieved her coat of arms, the Dustiness symbol is all
I need to traverse the capital to my heart’s content. So…”
“I forbid! ‘Visiting occasionally’ is not enough. I know I said
that you could take the charm along in my stead, but I still
rather go myself. I still want to adventure together with
onii‑sama, experience all the world has to offer!”

Iris’ pent up emotions, like a child’s, burst out.

“Please keep teaching me all sorts of things! In the twelve

years I’ve lived in this castle, the short time I’ve adventured
with onii‑sama felt infinitely more accomplishing and
wonderful. Please don’t leave me. Together, we…”

Saying all that in one breath, she covered her mouth in

awareness.

Iris, now shrunken with her head drooped low, didn’t look
like anyone that would carry the title of “dragon slayer”.

“Excuse me, I got headstrong again… I couldn’t help but

turn childish whenever I’m with onii‑sama. I’m still very much
the princess of a nation; I have an obligation to protect the
people.”

Born a royal, the girl must have grown up being constantly

taught self-control.

Well of course, as few people have a say over the princess.

Only Claire and Darkness, essentially. Even then, out of

those two, one is an overprotective bodyguard, the other
lives in Axel most of the time.
“Iris, you’re only twelve, it’s fine to act cutesy. Wasn’t this
said before? You’re of royalty, it’s no issue to be slightly
headstrong towards the people around you.”

Tears glittered in the corner of the princess’ eyes as she let

out a faint smile; the princess‑sama who is far more
powerful than me yet also has great self-control.

“Onii‑sama, please don’t spoil me so. If we kept living

together, I’m afraid I’d say something far more willful than
wanting you to stay longer.”

…Crap, what’s happening?

I don’t like where this is going; I feel that I won’t hold up

much longer.

“Until the day onii‑sama defeats the Demon King, I promise I

won’t act cutesy or headstrong. So…”

Ahhh shit.

If you wonder what’s so terrible, it is that I’m terribly close to

changing my heart for this little girl.

“…so, for only tonight, please spoil me just a little.”

How Iris said that before tightly hugging me isn’t any less
ominous.

What’s even more terrible is her being a royal with the ability
to bend marital laws at will to allow any age gap she desires.
No, no it can’t be!

Iris, my sister—I ain’t a lolicon!

If this continues, not even the best lawyers could help me.

Although it’s legal in this world, not even Megumin is allowed

by Japanese common sense.

But despite my inner turmoil, Iris lightly nudged her small

frame closer.

If rumours about her parents’ chronic absence were true,

she’d likely have zero experience in exploiting her cuteness.

Since she is aware of her superior strength, her arms

hugged around me timidly. Gradually, she began to
strengthen her hold…!

“I-I don’t really mind; forget about tonight, you can be cutesy
around me anytime!”

Crap! I said something awkward out of anxiety.

How could I deal with my teammates when I’m so tied up

with Iris over here?

Suddenly saying that “I’ll stay instead” after so much

bonding with Megumin recently would obliterate my
credibility.

Besides,
“Onii‑sama…no,”

Besides, Satou Kazuma, think about it sincerely.

Didn’t you wish to return to Axel?

Think about the letters from those children; you’ve read

those merely hours ago.

That’s right, the Demon King.

I must defeat him even for the sake of Iris.

Exactly, for the sake of the children, as well as Iris.

Also for the sake of this worl…!

“Onii‑chan,”

…………

“I like you so much…!”

Ultimately, I still decided to stay here.

Part 5
It has been another week since Aqua and company left.

Having decided to stay, I sent them letters.

Saying that I won’t be coming back to Axel after all.

Telling them that I’ll be residing in the capital permanently

and that they can inherit ownership over any savings,
luggage, and property on their side.

Also telling them that they could hopefully defeat the demon
king, even without the man of the weakest job.

On the same day I sent the letter, Darkness replied.

The contents were “snap out of it” — obviously something

she would write with a bitter laugh.

I’m afraid she thought that I’ll be only staying for one more
day to keep the lonely Iris company.

The language of the letter was gentle; in short, it told me to

go easy on Iris’ heart but still return ASAP.

—Then after another three days.

The letters grew solemn.

—After yet another two days, letters filled with rage and fury
were sent to me.
Finally, today.

A loud knock sounded from my bedroom door.

“Kazuma‑dono, you have a second to talk?”

The voice belonged to Claire.

I nodded to Heidel, who was making my tea. In response, he

swiftly went to open the door.

“What’s the matter Claire? Something important?”

“What’s the matter? What a great question, Kazuma‑dono, I

think you know exactly why I’m here.”

Claire seems to be restraining herself out of her

thankfulness for my heroic deeds. Just barely.

“You do know what people here in the castle think of you,

right?”

“Obviously. Even though heartless insults fill the air, I have

no problems with it, for my will cannot be damaged by such
petty cause. I’m the kind of person who persisted to be a
NEET despite the countless lecturing and mockery from my
relatives on every New Year’s Eve and Bon festival.”

At this point Claire gritted her teeth.

“Really. Well that’s simply perfect, since I have a request for

Your Excellency who has such endurant willpower and has
made such great contributions to the country.”

“What’s the matter? How could I help?”

This person isn’t too bad.

Plus, she’s a comrade who shares my love for Iris.

I ought to help her to the best of my abilities, should she

need it.

“Of course! It’s something only you could accomplish!”

As she said that, Claire’s face magically transformed into a

brilliant smile.

“Long time no see, Kazuma‑dono.”

The person responsible for Iris’ schooling, Rain, followed

inside.

What brought both of them here?

As if reading my mind, Rain said awkwardly,

“Uhm… I know how hard Kazuma‑dono worked to help

Princess Iris over in Elroad, how Kazuma‑dono stayed to tell
Princess Iris stories every night, and how Her Highness has
consequently become quite extroverted and joyful…”

Following Rain, Claire added,

“Indeed, she looks very happy everyday, and I have you to
thank for that. We couldn’t imagine how restless Princess
Iris must have been in secret as someone who is so young
yet lives in a castle that could be under siege from Demon
King’s army at any moment.”

What are Claire and Rain really trying to say?

At this moment, another knock emanated from the door.

Since the door is open, they had most likely knocked out of
politeness.

Peeking around is the once lonely-looking sister of mine

whose face lit up as soon as she saw me.

“‘Sup, Onii‑chan? Sleeping in this late ain’t good, yanno?

The weather’s lit AF today, so let’s grab some bentos for a
picnic, Kazzi!” she brightly said.

Hearing that, Claire and Rain drooped their heads and

pleaded on the verge of tears,

“Kazuma‑dono, I beg you, please go back!” x2

Suggestion rejected; signed, Kazzi.

 Part 6
“—He ran that way! Get him!”

Several hours later.

I am under pursuit by unreasonable soldiers, running all over

the place.

I’ve never before had to use so much wit or engaged anyone

with such ferocity.

…No, there may have been once; it also had something to

do with Iris.

“Don’t underestimate him because he’s only one person! He

has defeated numerous demon generals and high-bounty
criminals, Eris knows what he has up his sleeve!”

Claire shouted as she chased after me.

Several soldiers blocked my way, as if they didn’t hear

Claire.

“Visitor, we cannot let you proceed!”

“Please stop your futile resistance and obey…!”

Ignoring them, I stuffed my hand into a pocket.

“Create Earth!”

The swift and easy first-time strategy.

“Wh-what are you doing?”

The confused soldiers ahead of me questioned.

“Wind Breath!”

“!? Whaa!?”

“My eyes…!”

Catching an eyeful of sand, a bunch of soldiers stumbled to

their knees.

Looking closely, I saw that one soldier had brought ropes,

perhaps to tie me up.

I took the rope from the debilitated soldier and kept running.

I must find a way to lose these guys and get to Iris.

That’s right; no way I’m going back.

As long as I reach Iris, everything can be resolved

peacefully… No, rather, I can persuade her to join forces
with me.
I covered an incoming soldier’s noses with my hands.

“Create Water!”

“Wharrgarbl!”

The drowning soldiers coughed up a lung.

“K-Kazuma‑dono! That style of combat… could you be…!”

Watching my moves, Claire asked in horror as if she had

discovered a grim truth.

Though I was confident about my escape, I had unknowingly

entered a dead-end.

As soon as I realized that it’s the end of the line, I heard

Claire’s voice from behind.

“…For goodness sake, how could I been so blind.”

I turned around to face Clair and her soldiers, all lined up in

formation.

I must break through them and get to Iris no matter what.

Having made the decision, I squared off with Claire.

“Such a shame, Claire. It has been a pleasure drinking with

you while listening to you tell stories about Iris’ childhood.
Had things not come down to this, we would’ve definitely
made great friends.”
“Kazuma‑dono…I also regret having to bid farewell in this
manner. That aside, I must thank you for one more thing:
thank you for protecting Princess Iris from the dangerous
divine item. However…”

“…However?”

To answer my question, Claire unsheathed her sword.

So that’s the gist of it; Claire hasn’t been her usual self
today.

Then…

“However, it is unacceptable to steal Princess Iris’ ring.

Please return it. The ring is not something you’re allowed to
possess. Should you refuse to return it, I’m afraid we’ll have
to retaliate by publicizing your secret identity. This will be
necessary despite inevitably upsetting Princess Iris. If you
wish to remain anonymous, obey and…”

Then, it’d be impolite if I don’t also unleash my full potential.

“There’s no way you would publicize it. After all, the fact that
someone who Iris‑sama calls brother is a chivalrous thief
would be a massive disgrace to her royal image. Let me
pass now, White Suit, or I won’t hesitate to torture you to
tears.”

I said, in response to her interruption.

“…W-what do you mean?”

Claire, who had always looked down upon me and mocked
the integrity of my true power, surprisingly didn’t snap. In
fact, she was trembling on the verge of tears.

What kind of personality progression is this?

Is it from her realizing that I was the thief who infiltrated the
castle?

Or from eye-witnessing my true power in action?

Works either way.

Right now, I must get to Iris, to teach her some advanced

lessons.

Holding that little promise in my heart, I presented the roped

in my hand.

“I shall Bind you with this rope, then repeatedly use Steal
until you cry in submission.”

“Eh!? W-wait! Hold it Kazuma‑dono, despite everything, I’m

still a noble woman! You wouldn’t do…something…that
extreme in public…would you?”

I replied to the terrified Claire while whipping my rope

threateningly.

“By the way, I’ve done things like tying Darkness up and
dragging her after a carriage and blasting her with icy water.
Decide for yourself whether to believe it or not.”
“Retreat!!!”

Claire’s face stiffened and made a sound somewhere

between a screech and a howl.

But contrary to her orders, the soldiers only crept closer.

Against the sheer number advantage, I can’t win with

strength alone.

“Leave this to us, Claire‑sama! We’ll take on that man…!”

There are four opponents.

Furthermore, they’ve all seen my earth breath combo from

afar.

That way, there’s no way they’d fall for it.

“Alright, Mr. Guest, please comply now and—!?”

“Bind!”

I rapidly improvised and tied up the soldier who’d been

talking.

That soldier tried to deflect the bind with his sword, but flying
ropes aren’t exactly easy to parry.

While the binding wasn’t neat, the soldier was still entangled
along with his sword.

The bind was loose, so at this rate he’ll break free

momentarily.

However, a moment is all I needed!

“Got you!”

I held up a hand towards a soldier who yelled as he charged

me.

“Wind Breath!”

Although it only staggered him, it was still enough to make a

gap in the formation.

“They’re all but little tricks! No fear, push on!”

Those words most likely came from the head of the squad,
or someone like that.

“W-wait up! Don’t, he is…!”

Claire desperately yelled something, but it was too late.

I dashed before my next opponent and stuck my hand out in

position for a handshake.

For no good reason, the guy reflexively shook my left hand. I

mercilessly used Drain Touch.

“!?”

Seeing the man collapse, the remaining soldier and the one
on the floor hesitated, watching me warily.
Seizing this opportunity, I dashed around the soldiers…!

“Stop right here Kazuma‑dono, you have been surrounded! I

shall teleport you back with magic; see you in Axel!”

Outside of the dead end, I ran into a dozen more soldiers.

Their leader, Rain, said that with a somewhat pale

complexion.

As I stood still, Claire and her two soldiers also closed in

from behind.

Damn, is there really no escape!?

Rain’s squadron has me surrounded from every nook and

cranny, my hope quickly drained.

Crap, this is not a number I could deal with.

But I still have so much more to teach Iris…!

“Come on, Kazuma‑dono. Please surrender and leave…

During this hour-long chase, many were injured by slipping
on frozen floors, many are still incapacitated by Bind, and
some are even unconscious from being drained of mana
using unknown methods… What an accomplishment for a
lone adventurer; you’re almost like the thief that infiltrated
the castle some time ago…”

Rain said with a tinge of sarcasm.

“Ha…Ha…Wh…what an unbelievable guy… It’s no longer

hard to see how Mitsurugi‑dono lost to you twice. Still, just
what abilities would one need to detect our movement,
escape ahead of time and disappear to nowhere whenever
he gets cornered…?”

Claire, whom I had evaded numerous times, exhaustedly

said.

She’s probably talking about Detect Enemy and Sneak.

In addition, I’ve also used Farsight and Lip Reading to

intercept their orders; even if they got close, Escape easily
solves the problem.

Despite my efforts, I still ended up in this situation.

However, if I’m so ordinary as to fail in this situation, I

wouldn’t have been a match at all for the Demon Generals.

Seeing me not moving, Claire might have thought that I

surrendered. She relaxed and slowly approached me…

“Say, Rain, why don’t we make a deal.”

I kept up my peaceful appearance and said to Rain

smoothly.

Hearing me, Claire’s face stiffened.

Meanwhile, Rain twitched her eyebrow.

“As I recall, Rain came from a minor noble family, right? As
you know, I have deep, emotional ties with Darkness, even
her father has a good impression of me. He appreciates me
enough to entrust Darkness with me. They trust me to the
extent of lending me all the pendants and coats of arms of
the Dustiness family.”

“Quiet! Don’t listen to his bullshit, don’t be deceived by that

man, Rain!”

Hearing my exposition, Rain gulped as Claire objected

hysterically.

“…Besides, I’m close enough to Iris that we call each other

by first names. Do you really wish to tear the man Iris
admires so much away from her? Is that what Iris wants?
Letting me go now would in turn earn you respect from the
Dustiness family and Iris. In other words, all this links
intricately to the brightness of your future, Rain.”

“Don’t listen, Rain! You might look slightly better to the

Dustiness family, but it’ll leave a gaping gash in my image of
you! Nothing good ever happens to my enemies! Besides, in
the name of Princess Iris’ future, we have to separate this
man no matter how much Iris idolizes him! You know this
very well, with this man around, Iris‑sama will only become
increasingly scummy! Just look at how Iris‑sama’ been
acting lately!”

Caught between Claire and I, Rain’s face twisted with

indecision.
The dozen soldiers Rain had brought were probably her
personal guards or something similar.

Seeing how conflicted their leader, Rain, was, the soldiers

refrained from capturing me.

Additionally, with Rain’s personal guards halted, the soldiers

with Claire wouldn’t act either.

Dripping with cold sweat, Rain looked back and forth

between Claire and me.

With her on the horns of a dilemma, there’s only one thing

left to do.

“Say, Rain, think carefully. Couldn’t I, who have extensive

experience with defeating demon generals and bounty
criminals, become great help for the armed forces? Haven’t
you witnessed the extent of my abilities in this short
moment? I’d be Iris’ playmate, and I can also help defend
the castle as needed. Not gonna lie, I’m highly skilled at
finding the enemy’s weakness… How does it sound? There
aren’t any negatives to this, are there? With a playmate, Iris
would be joyful. I’d live here happily. The country would also
benefit from having a strong adventurer at service. Finally,
you, Rain, would gain positive views from Iris and the
Dustiness family. Isn’t that right? Don’t you like such a win-
win scenario?”

“……”

“Rain, don’t fall into silence! I beg you, don’t just agree with
a ‘so that’s how things are, no problem!’ …I-I get it, Rain, I
recall your family having some unpaid debt, right? How
about letting my family pay for you? Wasn’t it about several
tens of millions? How does that sound, not bad, right!?”

Claire’s offer seems to have brought Rain back right from

the edge.

Rain mumbled apologies as she lowered her head.

Hearing that, Claire finally relaxed as her expression

softened.

—Had I been an ordinary adventurer, the topic would’ve

seen its end about here.

However, I couldn’t go without showing some gentleman

attitude.

“Listen here, Rain; my net worth surpasses a billion. You

know how…”

“G-get him! Don’t let him say any more!”

Before I could finish, Claire’s soldiers, who had sneaked up

close, pinned me down from behind.

“D-damn despicable scum! I was in the midst of negotiation,

you can’t just interrupt! Hey Claire, do you not cherish your
panties!? A while ago you mentioned how nothing good ever
happens to your enemies, but I assure you that being my
enemy isn’t any better!”

“I know, I know, Kazuma‑dono! Truthfully, I think you’re

more terrifying than any monster! Not only combat wise, but
you also have superior charisma and expansive
connections. I already knew you were rich, but since then
you have progressed unimaginably well…!”

Said Claire as she commanded her soldiers to pin me down

even harder.

“Rain, I presume you had brought the memory wiping potion

as I told you?”

What memory wiping.

Now that I’m startled by a horrifying term, the soldiers

pressed me down even harder.

“I didn’t initially want to resort to such drastic measures, but

letting you stay with Princess Iris creates a real risk for
negative influence. Besides, being subjected to as extreme
a measure as repatriation would undoubtedly leave you
hateful impressions of us. Honestly, I truly fear what you
might do out of vengeance. So, while we sincerely
apologize, we must ask that you forget everything that
happened after the night when Lady Dustiness invited you to
return to Axel. Indeed, that’s when you read the children’s
letters… Proceed, Rain!”

Hey, wait a second.

Forgetting everything after the day I decided to leave?

In other words, what Iris said about liking onii‑chan so much

would also…

“I-I understand. Should we really use this? The potion was

banned for having side effects as severe as causing
dementia for the unlucky, after all… A-are you sure it’s fine?”

Rain approached me with the potion in hand while saying

such inconceivable words to Claire…!

“S-stop it! Don’t feed me strange stuff like that! Remember,

you’re lucky that it’s daytime, for only at night could I
unleash my full potential. Night-vision with Detect Enemy
and Sneak means I can infiltrate any stronghold; using a
bow, I could also snipe you from any distance! You’ll do well
to remember that! Remember!”

“H-hurry up! Make him drink the potion already, Rain! He’s
terrifying! This man is scary as hell! That wasn’t even his
final form! Just think, he didn’t even use the vicious freezing
magic that choked Mitsurugi‑dono; he’s been merciful to us!
Rain, quick! Completely erase all his memories from today
now!”
“I’ve also been a bodyguard for quite some time, but this is
also the first time I’ve seen someone so terrifying—! Q-
quick, drink the potion…! Kazuma‑dono, open your mouth
please…!”

Sandwiched between soldiers in a corner of the royal castle,

the two noble ladies desperately tried to pry my mouth open.

It may look like a cuddle fest from afar, but the reality is no
joking matter!

“Tinder!”

“Hot! It burns! Ahhh, it burned a hole in my favourite

expensive cape!”

“This man, still resisting under this circumstance…! I’m

absolutely horrified of you, Kazuma‑dono! Rain, I’ll buy you
a new cape later, please start chanting the teleportation
spell! I’ll deal with the potion!”

Claire, having taken the potion from Rain’s grasp,

approached my face with a strained expression.

Why are you putting on such a strenuous face!? I’m the one
at the end of the line here!

Rain rapidly chanted the spell as the potion was shoved in

my face—when suddenly.

“Onii‑chan!”
The noise must have brought her here.

Iris cried out from afar as she charged straight toward me.

A princess being saved by a knight in shining armor from

imminent violation.

It accurately depicts the current situation, if not for the

swapped roles.

Iris yelled towards the floor-pinned me.

“Claire, what the hell are you trying to do to my aniki!? I’m

angry AF right now! Cut the crap or else I’ll really hold a
grudge, from the bottom of my heart!”

“Princess Iris, please don’t use terms like aniki or ‘AF’

anymore! I’ve already prepared to face your inevitable wrath.
Right now, I’m making this man drink the memory wiping
potion and repatriating him to Axel!”

Iris shouted as she shoved aside the soldiers blocking her

way.

“That’s unforgivable AF!”

“It’ll be my turn to get angry AF if Iris‑sama doesn’t stop

using that language!”

“Even Claire‑sama got infected! The teleportation chant is

finished, commence repatriation at will!”
Damn, so close!

“Onii‑sama!”

Knowing that she won’t make it, Iris stopped to catch her
breath before screaming at the top of her lungs.

“Onii‑sama, if chance brings us together again, I’ll never

leave you behind!”

My adorable little sister shouted with determination.

“Iris, onii‑san will return! I promise I won’t leave the castle

next time; I’ll live here in leisure everyday—!”

“What the hell is this man saying under this circumstance!?

Now, swallow! Rain, teleport him as soon as he drinks the
potion!”

With that, Claire poured the potion into my mouth.

Unsure if the effect is immediate, a wave of dizziness

washed over me as my consciousness swiftly faded…

“Write me letters when you remember me! Onii‑sama, I’ll be

waiting for you! I believe you’ll someday defeat the Demon
King for sure—!”
 Chapter 2: Jinchū on this
Housemate!
Part 1
When I came to, I was inexplicably standing before the
gates of Axel.

……?

With no memory of what had happened.

What the hell, why do I feel as if I had lost something of

great importance…?

As if I had lost a family member that I’ve worked so hard to

unite with.

What is this feeling of emptiness?

I remember Claire, my greatest enemy, doing something to

me…

By Claire?

What happened? Since when did Claire become my

greatest enemy?

That girl likes Iris, just like me. If anything, we should be

comrades.

Yet for some reason, I feel obliged to take my revenge on

Claire.

Say, what happened was probably me staying for one

additional night under Iris’ persuasion. After Darkness and
company had left, Iris probably told me something very
important.

I recall Iris saying…

She… said what again?

…Huh?

What the hell, something is indeed amiss.

I’m not sure what. Nevertheless, I must take revenge against

Claire.

It’s as if my primal instinct compels me to do so.

Nevermind.

After all, I’m currently determined to fight after reading the

children’s letters.

Those people must feel the same way right now.

I made wide strides towards my long-vacant mansion.

We’ve spent several days in Elroad.

I clearly stayed for only about two weeks at the capital, yet it
felt like ages since I had left. Why is that?

Contemplating, I arrived at the front door.

Then, as I tried to open the doors…

I found them locked.

“…?”

How could this be? It’s usually unlocked when people are
home.

Taking that into consideration, everyone’s probably out.

They might have gotten too excited and had gone to the
Guild for quests.

Although, it shouldn’t be a long wait before they came back.

Or rather, I’d be in big trouble if they don’t come back soon.

I had given all my luggage to Darkness; having not much

cash at hand either.
…Eh?

“Huh, my wallet’s gone? Crap, did I lose it somewhere? I

don’t remember running much, I must’ve left it somewhere.”

Because I had just returned from Elroad, my wallet was

mostly empty from buying gifts.

I could easily buy a new wallet.

Whatever, I shall wait here for a while.

—As I pondered blankly, the sun is already setting.

“S-still not back…! What are those people doing!? Should I

go check the Adventurer’s Guild? No, it’d be terrible if I
missed them on the way. Plus, going to the guild after
waiting adamantly for so long gives me a sense of defeat…”

So, I started messing with Emperor Zell at the pen that’s

inside the mansion yard.

The pen has a bed made with many layers of soft, fluffy
towels—makes you feel warm just looking at it—as well as
food and water. A chick sleeping in such a VIP grade pen is
a stark contrast to me who’s locked out of his own mansion.

…Then I suddenly noticed.

“You look bigger than I remember.”

Observing the sleeping Emperor Zell, I knelt before the pen.

Shouldn’t this chick be growing extremely slowly due to his

high magical potential?

Although, this is nothing strange coming back from a long

trip.

Suddenly.

“Dragon thief!”

The second-floor window of the mansion flew open as

someone yelled at me.

I was tempted to retort by asking what they meant by dragon

thief, but then again, I only knew of one person who calls
Emperor Zell a dragon.

“Who are you calling a thief? It’s about time you accepted
that it’s only a chick. Why not open the door when you’re
home? Making me wait thinking that nobody was inside.”

Hearing my reply, Aqua glared at me silently.

……?
“I’m not quite sure what you’re talking about. After talking
with Megumin and Darkness, we decided this mansion
belongs to the beautiful goddess Aqua‑sama. Darkness has
her own mansion in this city, Megumin has her home over at
the Crimson Demon village, so the house ended up in my
hands. That’s how this mansion became my property.
Weren’t you going to live in the castle? Get out! Get out of
my yard now!”

……!

“I know you’re usually stupid, but today you’re plain

ridiculous. Look at you, what happened to your brain? How
about using a little healing magic on your head? If that
doesn’t work, I’ll send you to the hospital right away.”

In response, Aqua slammed the second-floor window shut.

……

I went back around and banged on the front door.

“I’m home! Darkness, Megumin, open the door if you’re

home! That idiot Aqua locked me out!”

After my knocking and hollering, the balcony windows

directly above me opened.

I thought it was Aqua again, but instead, Megumin and

Darkness poked their heads out.

What a relief.
…That feeling was short lived, however.

“If it’s not for the great Kazuma striding leisurely here to see
us. Had a great week at the capital?”

…Week?

Darkness confused me.

“Hahaha, we really are nothing to you…! Being a poser

aside, you dare get us to return early then stay alone at the
capital… ! Is there a limit to how much of a scumbag you
can be!? I never thought you would have the audacity to do
that when the mood was so encouraging !”

Said the unreasonably infuriated Megumin from the window

as she swung her staff around wildly.

No, wait a second.

“Hey, hold on. What’s that about me staying a week at the

capital after you guys returned? What is that supposed to
mean? I stayed for another night at most, how did it turn
into… huh?”

So weird, I have matters lingering on my mind.

What’s up with this desperate feeling?

Hearing my response, Megumin got even angrier.

“Hey, you’ve got some nerve playing dumb. Wanna see how
far my explosion magic can propel someone!?”
As Megumin said such horrifically alarming words, Darkness
suddenly tilted her head in confusion.

“…Kazuma, what did you stir up at the capital? You’re likely

drugged by the forbidden memory wiping potion that’s
seldom used even by the royals. That potion erases memory
proportionally with dosage, with a side effect of causing
dementia if you’re unfortunate; although, it seems we have
nothing to worry about in that department.”

“To me, this guy is already spewing demented lines…

Although, memory wiping potion, you say? …Sure enough,
Kazuma’s attitude has been strange just then… He couldn’t
be faking memory loss to avoid commotion, could he? …
However, in case he really did lose his memory, it feels
wrong to keep judging him in this state…”

While Megumin still retained some dissatisfaction, she

sighed and showed a more forgiving expression.

Even though I still have no clue what went on, by Darkness’

analysis, I seem to have had my memory erased.

…Hmm.

“My memory goes as far as bidding farewell. I remember

being called to Iris’ bedroom, then…”

To say, although Iris is only my sister, I still went into a girl’s

room. How could I have no memory of such an event?

…So that’s how; memory wiping, is it?

Must be due to me discovering some massive national
secret out of exceptional luck.

And as a result, the royal court must have argued over how
they should sentence me.

Ordinarily, any adventurer who knows a national secret

would simply be executed.

But the one with the intel was me.

Leaking such secrets to outsiders would be terrible.

Yet naturally, I was too valuable; there was no benefit in

killing an adventurer as crucial to the nation’s well-being as
me.

And thus, they had reached a compromise: erasing my

memory.

Mhm, it must have been that.

Even I’m gradually starting to trust my own hypothesis.

“Hey, while I can’t be certain, given my tendency to get

dragged into grave matters by chance, in all likelihood I must
have stumbled upon some important national secret. Then,
the royal court probably spent many days deliberating the
proper treatment for someone as important as me. During
that time, I’m guessing they would have sent half-assed
letters under my name to keep you from worrying about my
extended stay… Finally, they realized they’d be worse off
without me, so they ended up letting me off after wiping my
memory. How does this theory sound?”

Having said it aloud, I grew even more confident in my

conclusion.

Furthermore, I suspect I knew who was behind it all.

“Hmm… It’s possible…? Besides, I can’t really think of

another reason for them to use the memory wiping potion in
particular…”

Said Darkness as she forked her fingers against her chin

and fell deep in thought.

“Wh-who knows? My instinct tells me that this man may

have stayed merely out of his inability to withstand Iris’
cuteness… Although, that wouldn’t explain why his memory
was wiped. Hmm…”

With that, Megumin also fell into contemplation.

I then told those two the only idea that came to mind.

“Wasn’t there someone called Claire in the capital? I always

had a feeling that she’s the source of all evil. I had gotten
along with her quite well thanks to Iris, yet I have an
inexplicable hatred and sense of vengeance towards that
bitch.”

Hearing my reasoning, Darkness grew serious.

“…Indeed. The head of the Symphonia family does indeed

have rights to use the memory potion. Besides, she’s an
important figure in the kingdom’s government. I do also
remember you being great pals with Claire‑sama… Hmm,
this makes the hypothesis even more believable.”

Following Darkness, Megumin said,

“Forget it, having you back safely is good enough. Although,

since you haven’t been accompanying me for my explosion
walks, you’ll have to start tomorrow as punishment.”

—Starting tomorrow, you must come along for my explosion

walks, alright?

That’s probably what Megumin was originally trying to say.

<TL note: he means without the ‘as punishment’ part>

“What are you two talking about? Busy being stupid? How
braindead do you have to be to believe this shameless, vile
NEET? Mark my words, I bet this loliNEET conveniently
stayed after hearing something like ‘onii-chan daisuki’ from
that Iris. Since life surrounded by maids and butlers is so
heavenly, he thought he might as well live his carefree life at
the capital and not give a damn about us anymore. It must
be true!”

Just when I thought I had wrapped up this matter, that

annoying hag messed it up.

I looked up at the three faces on the second storey and said

to the unwavering Aqua,
“Hey, don’t be so pessimistic. How could that kind of thing
hap…pen…… Huh?”

What was that? Hearing her words just now made me

vaguely recall something important.

Observing my reaction, Aqua proudly said,

“See that? For now, you are forbidden from entering the
mansion. If you really wish to enter, prostrate before me and
say, “I’m sorry Aqua‑sama.”; in addition, you must offer
sincere prayers of worship three times a day from here on
out. If you won’t, get out of my face! Leave, now! The hell
was that, would you stop trying to trick my Darkness and
Megumin!?”

As Aqua said such utterly antagonizing lines, she slammed

the windows shut.

“What kind of joke is that!? Wait!”

I yelled in a hurry; Aqua, however, was gone, as if she had

nothing left to say.

…That despicable woman!

I walked to the ground-floor windows in attempt to simply

break in…

“Huh, what’s this?”

The sight before me made me speechless.

From what I could see, all first-floor windows had been
boarded up from the outside.

Should I spend time prying them loose, Aqua would

definitely be alerted and intervene.

Huh…

Even though I’m the victim here, I still ended up in this

situation.

Despite the situation, I absolutely refuse to prostrate before

that obnoxious woman.

I shouldn’t have done anything unspeakable.

…As I pondered, a small item suddenly landed near my feet.

Looking up, I saw Megumin’s shadow, having discreetly

tossed something out her window.

I turned my attention toward the object that fell, which

appeared familiar…

Ah, could that be it?

It was Megumin’s beloved wallet.

Megumin seems to have given me some change in fear that

I burned through all of mine in Elroad.

On second thought, the bank book had been left home, too;
so truthfully, for someone who had lost his wallet, this was a
lifesaver.

In the end, Megumin left expressionlessly without a second

look.

I picked up her wallet when another shadow appeared on

the ground.

Looking up once again, I saw a cloth-wrapped object being

dropped down, landing with a poof.

Through the window, I could vaguely recognize a head of

flowing golden hair gleaming in the sunset.

Darkness seems to have also smuggled something out for

me.

While I’m thankful for them, I still wish they had used this
time to convince that idiot instead.

Inside the package Darkness threw down were my familiar

bow and quiver.

It also had my often-used grappling hook arrow. With this,

Darkness’ plans became clear.

To buy dinner with Megumin’s cash, then use the bow and
hook Darkness dropped to climb my way home through the
second-floor windows at night… That’s likely the intention.

…I would never have thought I’d be forced to infiltrate my

own home.

Part 2
Now, how would I pull this off?

“900 Eris in total.”

Back when I infiltrated Darkness’ household, my strength

had been buffed by Aqua’s magic, making the job
significantly easier.

While I do have the bow and hook thanks to Darkness, could

I still sneak in as silently as before without Aqua’s strength
buff?

Finishing dinner at the pub, I opened Megumin’s wallet to

pay…

“…”

From the wallet chock-full of coupon and gift cards, I pulled

out an 1000 Eris bill and paid.

“Here’s 100 Eris of change. Thank you for visiting, come

again soon!”

Why do I feel so inhumane spending Megumin’s money?

While her coupon stash suggests that she will make a great
wife, spending her money still hurts my conscience.

The girl usually lets me handle all the money.

The share I do give her were mostly sent home. When I get
in, I ought to return her money in excess, even if she refuses
to take it.

…But one thing still concerns me; this time, Aqua is the
biggest roadblock to my infiltration.

Being normally dumb, she chose an inopportune time to be

smart.

Plus, she has better night-vision than me.

It’d be easy if she fell asleep early from drinking, but that
mood-blind imbecile is most likely wide-awake at this
inopportune hour.

While I can’t be sure, that’s certainly what my experience

with her so far is telling me.

While I felt that Aqua wouldn’t be a problem once inside,

being caught by her mid-climb would surely end horribly.

As I schemed my infiltration, I killed time by waddling slowly

along the streets, hoping the girls would be asleep by the
time I arrived.

“Oho, long time no see, the gigolo who had just enjoyed a
succulent meal paid by the girl who fancies him. Nice to see
thee on a walk tonight. The full moon filleth the air with
magical power, making the perfect environment for walks!
After a walk, I plan to climb atop an Axis church and replace
their symbol with this particularly erotic radish. Mindst thou
coming along?”

“…I’d rather not. Careful not to get torn to shreds when they
find out.”

I met Vanir on the way.

Within his hands is a sensually-shaped radish.

Since devils don’t sleep, he must have a plenty of free time

every night.

……

“Say, Vanir, you’re free right now, aren’t you? Could you
help me?”

To invade a house protected by a goddess, I turned to the

dark side for help.

Couldn’t help but feel immoral…

“Ohh? To ask that, thou must know of the trade-offs in

dealing with a devil, dost thou not? I only offer assistance at
a price. As a powerful devil, I expect a hefty payback in
return. Dost thou understand?”
Vanir put on a very fittingly devilish smile.

Sure, he’s a little scary by himself, but I’m much more

concerned about this sexy radish he’s holding. Terribly
concerned.

“Next time I head to Wiz’s, I’ll mass purchase all the garbage
and overpay.”

“Praise this customer! Thou canst count on me! …Wouldst

thou also have this radish as a bonus?”

“I’ll pass.”

—Deep in the night at three-quarters past one, silence

surrounds us.

The perfect time for NEETs and devils alike.

“Muahahaha! Muahahahahahaha!”

“Hey, don’t laugh at such a time! What made you so hyped

tonight!?”

While everyone dreamed under the stars, Vanir and I arrived

at the mansion.

“Muahahahaha! I am unnaturally hyped tonight! Striking a

goddess under the full moon; how could I possibly calm
myself?”

I have a feeling that this guy wasn’t the best choice.

Anyways, here’s the plan.

First, I attempt infiltrating normally.

Although I have no support magic, if I make it, job well done.

However, if I was unable to climb up alone or was

discovered midway, Vanir would assault the mansion.

Like that time when she caught the succubus, Aqua would
surely have an anti-demon barrier set up.

To distract Aqua, Vanir simply needs to touch the barrier.

And I shall use that chance to sneak in.

The primary objective is to completely enter the mansion,

and use whatever means necessary to make peace with
Aqua. If unsuccessful, secure and defend the mansion.

The backup objective is to retrieve the passbook from my

room.

Frankly, with money, I couldn’t care less about being locked

out. I could simply rent a unit and live leisurely until she gets
a grip.

Well, rather, living that way may even be better than

blatantly squandering time as I had before.

But nonetheless, the plan is settled. As Vanir spectated, I

took aim at my bedroom window and…!

“…Eh?”

I suddenly felt violated.

My bedroom window had been boarded up from the inside.

I frantically checked the other windows, only to find those

boarded up, too.

I only know of one person who is useless and petty enough

to do this.

My plan has already hit a roadblock. As I started to panic, I

suddenly noticed that not all windows have been fortified.

The windows of occupied rooms weren’t boarded up.

Presumably from steadfast objection by Megumin and

Darkness to have their windows obstructed.

And Aqua likely trusted Darkness and Megumin to prevent

my entry.

By the fact they had passed me a wallet and my bow, I could

safely assume that they’re on my side.

“Vanir, could you use your foresight on me real quick? See

whether Megumin’s or Darkness’ room is a better choice.”

“Ohh? A pungent aura still lingering around you blinds my

vision a little. Although…from what I could tell, infiltrating
either room yields the same result; however, choosing the
Crimson Beggar girl’s room is better overall. Thou shalt
enjoy a little bonus there. Go ahead.”

Vanir answered my question confidently.

So, entering either rooms gives the same ending. But what
is the bonus he speaks of?

“Megumin’s window it is. Okay, I’m off!”

Part 3
I walked directly under Megumin’s window and fired my
grapple at the roof.

To minimize noise, I had aimed at the furthest corner.

At this distance, missing is impossible with a combination of

Snipe and Farsight.

The grapple hooked the roof flawlessly. I tested the dangling

rope by giving it a few forceful tugs.

Scanning the perimeter, I saw no sign of alertness within the

house.

I turned around to signal Vanir that I’ll start climbing.

The next step would be climbing along the rope up to

Megumin’s room…

Climb up to…

“…Huff…huff…!”

Climbing without magic buffs is unexpectedly difficult!

Either the rope is too slippery or my arms are simply too

weak.

Even then, I still gripped the rope tightly, eventually reaching

the top.

I grabbed the rope with my left hand as my right held onto

the roof.
I took a deep breath; after calming down a little, I knocked
on the window.

A short while later, Megumin came to open the curtains;

seeing me, she ever so slightly smiled.

As if an illusion, Megumin appeared cheerful. She clicked

opened the window, when suddenly…

“Room check! Megumin, are you awake as told? I have a

feeling that man will likely try to infiltrate Megumin or
Darkness’ bedroom right about now! You guys may feel
sleepy these days, but try to adapt alright?”

Aqua’s voice came from Megumin’s room.

Out of all the moments she could and should have used her
brain cells, why did she have to use them now…!

Just how much trouble would be saved had she been this
clairvoyant in daily life!?

Hearing the commotion, Megumin frantically closed the

curtains.

“I’m awake, Aqua. It’s all fine, no problems here. Why don’t
you take a rest too, Aqua? Besides, a slight infiltration
couldn’t be that bad; after all, Kazuma seems to have had
his memory wiped, shouldn’t we go easier on him…?”

Immediately following Megumin’s comment, the door

violently slammed open.

“No way in hell, Megumin! Zero tolerance for that dirty

hikikomori! I get it now, Megumin must be the type that
would walk a thousand miles for the man she loves even
though he’s total garbage! And no matter how many times
he screws us over, you’d always forgive him out of affection
—that’s what my all-seeing eyes are telling me!”

“W-w-w-what are you talking about!? I-it’s nothing like

that…!”

Aqua’s confrontation shocked Megumin into panic mode.

Seeing Megumin’s reaction, Aqua hmphed as if she has

heard enough…

No, please drop it.

Normally, I’d happy to hear more on that topic, but please

leave it for now!

“Megumin, Megumin, you couldn’t possibly be…”

“What!? Possibly be what!?”

As Megumin and Aqua took their time to bicker, the rope

turned slippery from my palm sweat.

Now that I’m hanging , my hands began to tremble…!

Can we save these romance drama scenes for later!?

“Megumin… You! That Dust thug, could you possibly be…!”

“Not at all.”

Screw you!

My sweaty hands are losing grip on the rope and window

sill. I began to slip as my balance also failed.

Damn, someone help me!

The one who answered my prayer…

…was neither the useless, self-proclaimed goddess nor the

true goddess whom I only meet after death.

“Muahahaha! Muahahahaha! Come out, come out and fight,

toilet goddess! Tonight, the moon is waxed, a priceless
moment for the great I whose magic power is at its absolute
peak! As a duke of hell, I’m here to send thee back to
whence thou came’st!”
The perpetually deficit-stricken magic tool shop assistant
announced his presence from the front door.

Part 4
“Now, Kazuma! Aqua’s storming to the front door, quick,
grab my hand!”

I grabbed Megumin’s outstretched hand and used my other

arm to push myself up.

Having a higher Strength stat than me, Megumin lifted me

into the room.

—Some voices came from afar.

“You’ve finally shown your true self, you mentally defective

devil! Right back at you; I’ll send you whence you came
first!”

“Bring it on, bring it on! I’d like to see thee try! Take this,
Vanir-style—!”

While listening to those two holler…

“Haa…Haa…!”
I slipped into the room holding Megumin’s hand, barely
catching my breath.

Megumin, also still holding on tightly, closed the window.

Finally infiltrating the room, I took ragged breaths as I

remained in Megumin’s tight embrace, hands still held.

“Haa…Haa…! Megumin…Megu…Megumin…Haa-aaah…!”

“Wait…! K-Kazuma, your breathing! Your breathing sounds

so wrong! The mere scene of us hugging as you’re gasping
and repeatedly moaning my name just looks terribly wrong!”

I wanted to express my gratitude, but couldn’t catch my

breath.

Indeed, judging by the setup, any sane person would think

this is a night raid.

“Aqua, what’s all this fuss about… Vanir, what do you want
from us at such an hour!? Everyone’s been irate lately, now
with you here…!”

“Haw, aren’t thou the little girl who’s been restless over the
brat for being apart for a week? She who suffers from
loneliness, she who craves fulfilment and is left somewhat
anxious ergo? Well, tonight—“

“What do you meaaaaaaannnn—!”

Darkness and Vanir’s joyful conversation echoed from the
front door, but I couldn’t care less.

I should control my breath and get off Megumin first.

But Megumin only tightened her hold.

…Huh.

“Well done, Darkness! Keep holding him down! Sacred

Exorcism!”

“Gahhhhhh!? No, that’s impossible! I…I have been

defeated…even under the empowerment of the full moon, at
my absolute peak…!”

“W-we did it…!” x2

The outside was very noisy.

That bunch is fighting as always, making Megumin’s calm

embrace seem like a remarkable feat in comparison.

This gives me the vibe of skipping class in school as

everyone else studies to hide alone somewhere discreet—
like a sports equipment room—with a girl and…

Of course, I’ve never actually experienced that.

“Ahahahahaha! Didst thou think thou hast won?
Unfortunately, what thou hast killed was only an erotic
radish! Thou canst have it as a participation award.”

“……” x2

“Oho, please refrain from pursuing in silence! After much

wait, I’ve finally tasted such delicious negative emotions!
Having accomplished my goal, I shall call it here. So long!”

“Darkness, flank him from behind! Take him out! Tonight,

we’ll remove this clown that trolls for a living, once and for
all!”

“A-Aqua, what should we do with the sexy radish…!?”

Amidst their cheerful bickering,

“Welcome home. Although life in the capital was great, only

everyday conflicts and arguments like this can breathe life
into the mansion. Please don’t leave us on your own accord
again, alright?”

Keeping me in her arms, Megumin gently patted my back.

…It feels…heartwarming.
 Part 5
Taking a deep breath and composing myself, I decided to
break contact with Megumin’s body.

…Yet she won’t let go.

“Hey, Megumin, I’m not going anywhere. I’m already home,

so isn’t it time to let me loose?”

Should we keep hugging like this, I was afraid spicy things

might end up happening.

Yet, Megumin only kept her tight grasp and replied,

“Had you let the much stronger Darkness pull you up, I think
your entry would’ve been much easier. Despite that, you
specifically came to my room; so, ”

She giggled.

However, I only chose her room because Vanir told me so;

nothing about strength passed my mind either. Since we’re
here, I’d better keep the truth hidden.

Although, he really lived up to his name of Devil of

Foresight. This must be the “bonus” he spoke of.
Next time I ought to gift his store with a clear-out sale.

By the way, what exactly is my current relationship with

Megumin?

Sure, we confessed, but it has been at a standstill ever

since.

No, it’s understandable with all this bodyguard business

happening in Elroad along with other nonsense. But isn’t it
about time for some development now?

In the end, nothing really happened between me and Iris.

that makes me a pretty faithful man.

Since Megumin herself seems to tolerate hugging, I guess I

should get on the offensive this time.

Just as I was about to dramatically return her embrace…

“Hurry up and make up with Aqua, alright? She kept saying

everyday ‘is that wanton NEET still not home? Still not
home!?’ While you were away, she always seemed bored, a
bit lonely, even.”

……

“She also prepared dinner for Kazuma every night, calling it

‘the portion for the wanton NEET who’s still out-and-about’.
In the end, she force-fed Darkness the extra food.”

So Darkness also sustained her share of the fallout.

Hearing Megumin’s thoughts, I turned my would-be hug into
a hold on the shoulder.

Even though I rarely get such a wonderful opportunity, such

a perfect atmosphere…

“…Let me go tie up the loose ends with that idiot. We’ll

continue once I get back.”

“N-not continuing, definitely not!”

Though saying that, her face showed a tinge of

disappointment.

But more importantly, she looked glad for her teammates.

“Go on now!”

She said to my back as I went out to look for Aqua.

“—Ahh! Burglar! Darkness, a burglar just broke into the

beautiful goddess’ mansion! Go catch him!”

I ran into a screaming Aqua on my way to the front door.

Her reaction on seeing me together with her bare feet and

pajamas did little to corroborate the title of a “beautiful
goddess”.

Hearing her command, Darkness only glanced back and

forth between Aqua and I conflictingly.
“…Hey, Aqua, isn’t it about time that you made up with
Kazuma… Owieowieowie! Cut it out, Aqua, don’t pull my
hair!”

Darkness cried aloud from having her hair yanked.

“Darkness, do you really enjoy being abandoned by this

NEET so much? When you received letters saying that he
wanted to live with Iris, you breathed heavily and
complained about being cucked. If we all keep spoiling
Kazuma, there’d truly be no saving this despicable man!
Hell, I think he’s far beyond saving already!”

This damn woman.

“Hey, not that I want to pick a fight, but I must make myself
clear. I never betrayed you guys. Think about it, am I that
superficial of a man? Did you think I would ditch my dear
companions for Iris? I’m neither trashy nor lolicon-y enough
to do that. While Iris is precious to me; at the end of the day,
she’s still my sister. Do you honestly believe I’d make moves
on girls that age?”

Aqua was briefly taken aback by my outburst, but—

“Thou , as the useless trash whose only abilities in the

previous life were rock-paper-scissors and gaming, should
reflect on how thou died in the first place. Remember whom
thou were trying to protect before entering this world. Had
the person in question been a senior, thou probably wouldn’t
have batted an eye. Set aside that surficial dignity and tell us
thy true self: My name is Satou Kazuma, and I am the
loliNEET!”

“Since when did saving a high school girl make one a

lolicon!? Don’t you get all cocky for conquering my home,
either; tonight, I’ll teach you a lesson!”

I could no longer bear Aqua’s insults.

“Darkness, protect me! Come shield me against this

dangerous intruder!”

“Hey, what!? Wait a minute…!”

Aqua immediately hid behind Darkness. Meanwhile, I

clenched my fists and started eyeing their distances.

“Watch as I Drain Touch all your stamina, Bind you up then

throw you into Emperor Zell’s pen! Repent!”

“Come at me then, you damn NEET! Do you really believe

an undead skill can hinder me!? Mind you, this is a 2v1, so
don’t expect to win!”

“W-wait, I never agreed to fight Kazuma…!”

Before Darkness could finish, I lunged at Aqua.

“—I-impossible…!”

Lying on the carpet and pinned by Aqua, I groaned.

Beside me lies Darkness, bound in ropes, limp with eyes
rolled back due to the effects of Drain Touch.

Aqua can easily undo debuffs like Bind, and Darkness can
block any close-up attacks.

Like so, I was pinned down by Aqua after she buffed herself.

I underestimated her. Her superior base stats don’t lie.

And skills like “God’s Blow” or “God’s Requiem” really make

you wonder if she’s in fact the goddess of bar fights.

I truly, sincerely hope this girl would put at least a fraction of

her potential to use on a daily basis.

On a side note, Darkness only fell because she was caught

between Aqua and I.

“Huff…huff…! You…you were a tough one huh, Kazuma?

But still, since the victor is clear, come on! Apologize to me!
Just say sorry and I’ll forgive you!”

Aqua claimed proudly, as she straddled me.

I said to Aqua,

“…I did nothing wrong this time. Forget trying to satisfy Iris’
final wish, even my memory’s gone; therefore, I have no
reason to apologize! Do you not realize that I have one last
trick up my sleeve? Mark my words: tomorrow, you’ll be
begging for my forgiveness in tears!”

Having no wrongdoings to be ashamed of, I refuted

honorably.

“Haw, fighting to your last breath, huh? I was about to call

this a wrap here, but you seem to want more. No problem!
You have your schemes, and I have my measures. Kazuma,
I hereby swear as the Goddess of Water to never let a step
inside this house without an apology! You are now banished!
I can already see you crying while saying sorry tomorrow!”

Part 6
Next morning.

I fell deep in thought as I viewed my mansion from afar.

There’s a common cliché in mangas where the good-

hearted male lead gets subjected to violence from the
female lead due to a misunderstanding.
Or in other words, the male lead had no bad intentions, yet
he still gets miserably beaten by the female lead for peeking
at something out of curiosity.

In some cases, even though the female lead isn’t in a

relationship with the male lead, she still gets unreasonably
salty just from seeing him walk alongside another girl.

In a way, scenarios like these could spell great fun for

manga readers.

As the onlooking audience, not only do you feel zero

pressure; but perhaps even a bit of schadenfreude.

However, my opinion is different.

“Kazuma‑san! !”

If I were the male lead in question, I would strike back

against those illogical females in an instant.

“Waaaaah! K-Kazuma‑san! Master Kazuma!!”

There exists a powerful force of justice in this world,

specifically to control these unsensible yet violent actions.

Innocent civilians can rely on this power and use it freely.

Those who are unreasonable, utilize unjust violence or
commit crimes yet feel that they “should be forgiven due to
being female” are the ones that ought to feel ashamed.

“Kazuma‑sama! I’ve…always thought that Kazuma‑sama

was in fact a very—well, a generally amiable man! Plus,
from all the time we’ve spent together, you should know that
mutual understanding is the key to solving conflicts…!”

I pointed at Aqua, who’s crying and yelling from the upper

window.

“Officer, it’s her.”

“After surveying the real estate office, we’ve confirmed your

ownership of this property, Satou Kazuma‑san. Next, we
shall proceed to reclaim your illegally occupied housing.”

I fulfilled my duty as a citizen by calling the police on the

criminal in my mansion.

“Kazuma‑san! Master Kazuma! Waaaaaaaah!

Kazuma‑samaaaaa!”

Seeing the police rush in, Aqua entered a state of panic,

repeatedly calling my name.

“I-I-I-I’m um, Kazuma’s housemate, so…!”

“Is that true? It’d be big news indeed if the Lady of House
Dustiness turned out to be a criminal.”
Inside the cordoned mansion, Darkness, who failed to
escape in time, was being questioned.

Megumin had an ominous feeling long before the law

enforcement arrived and slipped away early.

And here I thought she was the most trustworthy of us.

Guess I was mistaken.

Then…

“Waaaaaaah! Kazuma‑sama! Kazuma‑sama! Please forgive

me, Kazuma‑sama! I’m sorry, it’s all my fault! please forgive
me Kazuma‑sama! Are my apologies not enough
Kazuma‑sama!??”

Wailing apologies, Aqua was being taken into custody.

I walked up beside her.

“Good morning, Goddess of Water. Are you sure you’re not

going to let me back in before I’ve said sorry?”

“I’m sorry, Kazuma‑sama! I’ll be obedient from now on! I

won’t ever doubt you again! Please forgive me!”

Aqua cried for forgiveness as two police officers dragged her

away.

I put on an incredibly smug look and exclaimed,

“AHHH, WHERE WOULD YOU ALL BE WITHOUT ME!?”

 Part 7
I sat down in my long-awaited VIP spot on the living room
sofa.

“Kazuma‑sama, your tea’s ready.”

I leaned back, dangling one arm behind the sofa and

stretched out my legs. Meanwhile, Aqua delivered my tea.

“Thank you.”

I expressed gratitude for Aqua’s attentive service and took a

sip.

“You useless maid! The hell was that!? Wasn’t that pure
water!? How many times do I have to tell you: don’t even
slightly touch the tea otherwise it’ll turn to water, so be
careful! Remake it! Right now! Go re-brew my tea!”

“Ahhh, my sincere apologies, Kazuma‑sama! Your tea will

be remade shortly!”

Hearing my complaint, Aqua hurried away with surprising

fervor.

She seems unconcerned, as if playing some new, whacky

game.

“The problem appears to be solved. To be truthful, I’m just

happy that everyone can all sit together in this living room
once more.”

Said Megumin as she leisurely sipped Aqua’s tea beside

me.

That bastard evidently can make people regular tea, yet

mine is always water. She must be deliberately looking for
trouble.

As if her real goal is to be yelled at.

Staring somewhat jealously at Aqua, Darkness said,

“All aside, it’s all good as long as you’re here in one piece…
And please don’t call the cops so rashly again…”

She shot me an accusing look.

Well, don’t be criminals then.

“Your tea’s here!”

“I appreciate it.”

Aqua brought forth her new tea, made with uncharacteristic

efficiency.

I took a cup and sipped from it to find…!

“What did I say? This is pure freaking water! Couldn’t you

use your brain for once!?”
“Ahh! I’m extremely sorry Kazuma‑sama! I, your servant, will
go remake it right away…!”

Aqua responded with a tinge of joy. Darkness then said,

“Aqua, if you mess up every time, just let me do it. That way,
Kazuma won’t have to yell at you anymore. Then… I’ll be
the only one he needs to yell at…”

She had stood up to take action when…

“Hey Darkness! I’ve finally caught this rare chance to play

the Dustiness Maid game, so step aside!”

“!?”

Aqua replied rudely.

“Hey, so the real reason you kept purifying my tea on

purpose was to imitate Darkness’ perverted maids?”

“Not exactly; I’ve always directly poured you hot water.”

“Hold on a second you two, there’s nothing wrong with the

maids of my family!”

Just as Darkness objected, Aqua took out a pre-dipped

brush.

“Kazuma‑sama, to punish this useless Dustiness maid,

please doodle all you want on my body!”

“Er…”
“As I said, our maids would never ask for something like
that!”

I ignored Darkness, picked up Aqua’s brush and scribbled a

few lines on her face.

Then, all the ink trails quickly faded to water.

Watching it all take place, Megumin couldn’t help but smile.

I turned to face her and smiled back when…

“Ahh! Ouch ouch ouch…”

I covered the rib that was hurt by Aqua during last night’s
melee.

Suddenly, Aqua gasped in shock.

“That must be an injury from last night. So sorry,

Kazuma‑sama! Well, today, I’ll go out of my way and use the
most powerful healing spell in existence.”

“Sacred Highness Heal!”

With that, she casually casted the restoration spell.

Restoration magic…

“…………Ahh.”
I instinctively murmured after being healed.

“What is it?”

Aqua tilted her head in confusion.

“What’s wrong Kazuma‑sama? That was the strongest

healing magic I know of, was it not enough?”

No, rather—

“Err…Ah, no. It was great. Th-thanks a lot, Aqua. Now I feel

much more relaxed. And by the way, since we’re mates,
stop calling me ‘Kazuma‑sama’, just ‘Kazuma’ is fine;
otherwise, I’d feel isolated.”

I tried my best to act normal.

(Darkness) “…What happened to you? Nonetheless, that

was an admirable thought after having said ‘since Aqua
suspected you for a week, she shall call you by ‑sama for
another week’. After all, you’re right about us getting closer
as teammates.”

With that, Darkness smiled gracefully.

Megumin followed suit, but then…

“……”

Aqua pushed her face directly in front of mine and stared

into my soul.

“…Wh-what is it?”

“…Nothing. I just promised to never suspect Kazuma again.”

Though saying that, she continued to stare at me point-

blank.

It must’ve been Aqua’s restoration magic.

It had completely restored all the memories that had been

erased; and now, I couldn’t look at her straight.

What do I do?

Only a while ago, I had been righteously asserting my

innocence; but now, I couldn’t even fathom how trashy I
was.

To the point where I couldn’t even deny titles like

“Scumzuma” or “Kazutrash” anymore.

As a last-ditch attempt, I took out the letter.

“Aqua, remember this? It must’ve been from a week ago for

you yet it feels brand new to me, who’s suffering from
amnesia. Now, let’s see the passion you felt! Think about
the real cause we’re here for!”

Even when given the letter, she still persisted.

Gradually losing composure, I abruptly stood up from the

sofa.

“Anyways! Let’s head to the Adventurer’s Guild! We’ll take

quests—for the safety of Axel, and the world!”

“………”

Aqua continued to stare from mere centimeters away. Non-

stop.

—Five minutes later, my façade of humility crumbled as I

prostrated to beg for everyone’s forgiveness.
 Chapter 3: Goddess’ Grace on
the Pious Follower!
Part 1
At a time earlier than high noon yet too late to be called
“morning”.

About that time when one would prepare lunch.

I entered the living room with a bedhead, holding back

yawns. Everyone’s busy making lunch.

“Morning. What’s for breakfast? I won’t be wanting miso

soup for a long while after eating weird things everyday in
the capital.”

As I tapped my bowl, Darkness glared at me.

“Didn’t you get your memories back? You do remember

what the children wrote to you, right? Waking up this late
isn’t the way to be. Forget breakfast, we’re having lunch
soon. It’ll be lobsters, because when I had Megumin’s secret
Crimson Demon lobster dish in Elroad, I was captivated.
This time, I’ve finally convinced her to prepare the raw
ingredients after numerous attempts.”

Having heard Darkness’ somewhat passionate explanation, I

turned to Megumin, who avoided eye contact.
She must have chickened out because she didn’t expect a
noble lady to enjoy such a basic lobster recipe.

Hopefully this noble lady who only minds her own business
wouldn’t order lowly dishes like lobsters in galas.

I decided not to break the truth to her after seeing her happy
expression while preparing the lobsters.

“W-well then. Megumin’s dish is indeed quite delicious.

Anyways, what are we doing today? …Are we really going to
the guild?”

Having regained my memory, I once again remember the

time I spent with Iris after my team had departed.

I even remember Iris saying, “I really like onii-chan.”

Had she not said that, I would likely be bursting with

enthusiasm at this point from the children’s fan mail.

“Whatever you like. In Kazuma’s absence, we’ve calmed

down a bit… So, if Kazuma is absolutely determined to take
quests, I’m all for it.”

“Don’t mind me. Ask if Aqua is absolutely determined to go.”

Aqua and I pushed responsibilities between us. Having little

passion left, she probably feels the same way.

Watching this scene unfold, Darkness gained an anger vein

as she slammed her fork against the table.
“Didn’t you two gain any motivation from the letters? Hey,
Kazuma, you’re no less than an admired idol for those
children! Aren’t you going to be a role model for them?”

“I can understand why they admire me, but after calming

down… Well, you know the rest. Think again carefully. Since
experience can be earned by merely eating special cuisine,
there’s no need to do dangerous adventuring.”

Darkness shook her head, as if saying “this guy is

hopeless”.

“Hey Aqua, you get along with children too, right? Don’t you
often play with kids in the neighbourhood? Don’t you also
call yourself a goddess, like you did at the capital? Then,
shouldn’t defeating the Demon King be your duty?”

Darkness’ pampering voice grabbed the attention of the self-

proclaimed Goddess of Water.

“I am indeed the Goddess of Water, Aqua-sama… Although

it’s strange considering how you guys don’t usually believe
that at all. Hey, are you all realizing my godhood from heart?
Then, since I’ve lived with you for so long, I must be more
important than that Eris, right? Why not switch to the Axis
cult?”

Aqua has become skeptical due to my earlier incident.

Having thought that Aqua would be a low-hanging fruit to

trick, Darkness was shocked to find her firing back.
“…B-but, every generation of my family had been loyal
defenders of the nation and its religion. My duty prevents me
from believing any cult other than Eris cult…”

“Liar! You still don’t believe me! Darkness, I really am the

Goddess of Water! Don’t you ever wonder how a normal
person could stay submerged for so long and turn any
solution to water with a touch!?”

Pounced on by Aqua, Darkness turned her eyes away.

“A-about that… I heard that Axis priests are very powerful

due to the devotion of their followers, so I wouldn’t be
surprised if they could turn whatever they touch to water;
besides, Axis cultists probably don’t even need to breathe…”

“Apologize, now! Apologize for making my children sound

like monsters! On another note… Everything Darkness
wrote in those letters were compliments for Kazuma. I
believe it’s about time to redeem the name of the Axis
cultists; more specifically, I also want fan mail!”

Hearing Aqua’s demands, her eyes glowed…

“I-I understand! I’ll just go there again if that’s all you want,
so— “

…and spilled some important truth.

“…Hey, you were saying…?”

Darkness immediately covered her mouth.

But alas, it was too late.

“Go where again exactly? …Oi, Darkness, the letters you

showed me earlier were supposed to be from children,
Right?”

Under my pressure, Darkness slammed the table and shot

up.

“That’s indeed how it happened! Problem!? I even paid the

kids to write them! Did you think I had a choice!? You
wouldn’t come home any other way!”

When Darkness made such a baseless accusation in

response, I stood up as well.

“Way to blame the victim! I even treasured my first fan mail

as a memento!”

“W-were you that elated by them? I sincerely apologize for

that…”

Darkness mumbled apologetically.

This bastard, acting increasingly noble.

“Back then you were still an honorable woman who refused

to abuse her status. Since when did you learn scams like
this!? You have been trigger-happy with abusing power
lately, threatening this and seducing that. And now you…!”

Indeed, the old Darkness tried her hardest to keep her

familial matters separate.

But now that she’s learned to use her power and wealth, it’s
as if she’d been swapped for a corrupt old noble.

Is that what growing up is like?

“W-well, whose fault do you think it is!? That’s right, it’s all
you! I’ve only fallen this low because of you!”

Darkness is now shamelessly going all-out. Aqua and I

decided to strike back.

(Kazuma) “Why the hell am I the scapegoat!? Who are you

kidding, bitch!? Your character doesn’t seem at all that
different from when we had met!”

(Aqua) “Apologize, now! Those letters really touched me!

Not only to Kazuma, you owe me an apology, too!”

(Megumin) “Quiet down everyone, eat the food before it gets

cold. I spent a lot of effort in this.”

As the situation turned hairier—chaotic, even—knocking

came from the front door.

I’m honestly tired of arguing with them.

So, I swiftly went to greet our guests.

(Darkness) “Oi, Kazuma, we’re not finished yet!”

(Aqua) “Shut up, you deceptive woman! Go eat your

crayfish!”

(Darkness) “What are crayfish?”

While Darkness tilts her head in confusion, I opened the

door.

(Funifura) “H-hello!”

(Dodonko) “ Meagerm—! I mean, M-Megumin-san, is she

home?”

Before me stood two familiar-looking crimson demon girls,

and holding their hands was Megumin’s sister—Komekko.

Part 2
“Only the finest tea for our respected guests.”

“M-many thanks!”

“Thank you very much!”

Sitting on the sofa in the living room, the two girls were
offered tea by Aqua.
That’s right, I’ve met them before in the Crimson Demon
village. They were…

“So, what brought Punyfura and Dodumko here with my

sister in tow?”

“How about you get our names straight first! I’m Funifura,
Fu-ni-fu-ra!”

“I’m not Dodumko but Dodonko! Could you be holding a

grudge just because I nearly called you Meagermin!? I
merely bit my tongue!”

Megumin’s reply reminded me.

They were the duo of Yunyun’s circle in the village.

“Anyway, these are Funifura and Dodonko, two insignificant

Crimson Demons. Just keep them in mind for the time
being.”

“How could you!? How could you use terms like

‘insignificant’ and ‘the time being’!?”

“While we’re indeed usually treated as a pair and aren’t that

important, I still can’t tolerate being judged by Megumin!”

Hearing Megumin’s half-hearted introduction, the two got

emotional.

“Here, have a taste of this, too! Don’t worry, we still have a

lot; take your time.”
“Komekko, there’s dessert afterwards…s-so, please don’t be
so aggressive, you’re worrying me.”

As Megumin and I took the responsibility of dealing with the

girls, Aqua and Darkness fed Komekko next to us.

She seemed incredibly hungry as she devoured the food at

a dangerous pace.

Still a bit nervous visiting a different home, Funifura then

said,
“Long time no see, Megumin. Your sister suffered tragic
events, so we brought her here.”

The assertive girl with twintails called Funifura informed

Megumin as she gazed at Komekko.

“Yes yes, we’re unsure if it applies only to your sister or your

whole family…but needless to say, Komekko has
encountered a disaster and has nowhere to seek refuge. We
then heard that Megumin and Yunyun are both in Axel, so
we’ve escorted her all the way here.”

The girl with the ponytail called Dodonko puffed out her
chest in pride.

“What matter could be so grave? What happened to

Megumin’s home? By the way, we’ve talked before when I
visited the crimson demon village, right?”

Hearing my question, the two shuddered, suggesting they’re

highly inexperienced with talking to males.

“Aren’t you Megumin’s boyfriend? Er, do you live with her?

Actually, forget your home, the whole village has been hit by
a disaster.”

“Yes yes, it’s nonetheless a bit difficult to express…”

Megumin couldn’t stand their dancing around the issue any

longer and gazed at the feasting Komekko questioningly.

As if sensing her sister’s glare, Komekko gulped down

whatever she was chewing.

“A ’boom’ and my home was gone.”

Her rather unhelpful summary shocked Megumin stiff.

“What did you mean by ‘boom’? Please elaborate!”

Seeing Megumin confused, Funifura and Dodonko shared a

glance and hesitated—

“The army of the Demon King’s daughter is invading the

Crimson Demon village.”

Funifura started.

Hearing that, Megumin became unusually serious.

“The Demon King’s daughter… Does that mean the village’s

secret has finally been exposed?”

The Crimson Demon village’s secret.

Crimson Demons were genetically engineered humans

made by a lost technological superpower, so their very
existence is a mystery.

Is that the reason the Demon King attacked them?

Although, by now the technology used to create Crimson
Demons is long gone.

Therefore, that can’t be the motive behind their attacks.

“Kazuma, don’t worry too much. It’s fine. Many Crimson

Demons know teleportation, we won’t be dealt with so
easily. Even if the whole village burns down, we can still
magically repair it in a jiffy.”

As if mistaking me for actually sympathizing the Crimson

Demons, Megumin suddenly said such a thing.

“No, while I am quite worried for Megumin’s parents, I’m

mainly interested in the secret of Crimson Demons. Don’t
you have the tendency to collect…uhm, ‘evil goddesses that
had been sealed away’ and other dangerous things to your
own village? You also tend of have some sort of doomsday
device in store. So, I was wondering if that’s the reason the
Demon King’s daughter is attacking you.”

At this stage, whatever that bunch may be hiding won’t

surprise me.

So, I hope she could be succinct about it.

“I understand. It seems necessary to tell Kazuma the truth

now.”

As if reading my mind, Megumin gazed at me seriously.

“Actually, one of the tourist attractions at the Crimson

Demon village is a watchtower that can spy on the Demon
King’s castle.”

Watchtower?

“Indeed, there is a watchtower upgraded with powerful

magic items on a mountaintop near the village. Although it
hasn’t reached the stage of ‘Omniscience’ yet…”

Funifura followed up Megumin’s explanation with equal

seriousness.

“Us Crimson Demons can observe the Demon King’s castle

anytime. His daughter seems to have found out…”

Looking troubled, Dodonko also filled in some details.

…So that’s what happened. Being spied on must be no

joking matter for the Demon Army.

After all, intelligence is crucial in war.

So, the Demon King’s daughter wants to destroy the

offending watchtower, huh…

“The original selling point for that thing was that it ‘could see
into the Demon King’s daughter’s bedroom’. But now that
our victim knows about it…”

“Mhm, the Demon Army’s information warfare capabilities

are not to be underestimated.”

“What did you just say?”

I put a pause to Funifura and Dodonko’s exposition.

“As they have said, the watchtower can not only generate
revenue from tourism but also provide entertainment for
NEETs in the village. A piece of equipment this valuable…”

“…would obviously be attacked by the Demon King’s

daughter. Hey, I’ve always wanted to ask: why is the Demon
King at war with humans? To be brutally honest, aren’t you
Crimson Demons and the Axis cultists the main reason
we’re still fighting?”

As if agreeing with my logic at heart, the three Crimson

Demons averted my gaze.

“Oi, are you girls feeling guilty?”

“Wh-what do you mean, Kazuma? Why are we always to

blame…? We just have the Crimson Demon barbeque
festival every four years…”

As Megumin’s voice trailed off, Aqua, who’s feeding

Komekko, tilted her head in confusion.

“Barbeque?”

Funifura answered,

“All teleportation-capable Crimson Demons would gather

quadrennially and have a barbeque near the Demon King’s
castle. After the feast, us Crimson Demons then unleash a
whole mess of magic upon the barrier, only returning after
the Demon Army comes charging out.”

“You guys are sincerely annoying. Can we stop with these

troublesome activities already!? …Nevertheless, I
understand the situation now. Thank you for bringing
Komekko over, we’ll keep her refuge; alright?”

Funifura and company exhaled in relief.

“Since the child doesn’t really have another home, we

sincerely thank you. We ourselves have duties to attend
to…”

“Mhm, as the Crimson Demons, how could we refuse free

meals delivered to our doorstep?”

Hearing those terrifying statements, Megumin joined in and

courageously said,

“Daughter of the Demon King, show yourself! I call dibs on

the first strike with my explosion! Funifura, Dodonko, let’s
move!”

“How could you even help? Next, we’re going to meet up

with the other Crimson Demons and engage in guerilla
warfare with the Demon King’s daughter, now that she’s
occupied our village. With only explosion magic, you’re at
most a backup.”

Feeling betrayed by the term “backup”, Megumin’s eyebrow

twitched.
“Yes yes, we were recruited as soon as we learned
advanced magic. Feel free to watch in jealousy as we put on
a show.”

Now with a second knife in her back, Megumin’s eyes lit up

with crimson.

“Ah, speaking of which, Yunyun should be in this city too,

right? Do you know where she is? She’s also invited,
although we haven’t been able to find her.”

“Mhm, and I remember Yunyun describing in her letters what

the friends she made here looked like. Even though we told
her in advance that we’d be coming today…”

Yunyun’s friends? Gotta be the masked devil and the

delinquent she had been hanging out with.

As for why she couldn’t be found, she probably didn’t want

to introduce her so-called “friends” despite desperately
wanting to demonstrate her social abilities.

“—L-look, Megumin, we wanted to ask you something.”

Said Funifura as if it were her final words before deployment

—

“Yunyun wrote in her letters that she had made a guy friend
in Axel… She’s really exaggerating and has no friends in
reality, right?”

“I-is that true? Yunyun possibly has more friends besides us!
Forget Megumin, please don’t tell me that even Yunyun has
more friends than we do…”

Megumin then answered bluntly,

“As for her male acquaintances, first we have Kazuma over

here, plus…the chick-magnet Vanir down the street and the
notoriously degenerate blonde delinquent adventurer
Dust…”

Watching Megumin count with her fingers as she spoke,

Funifura and Dodonko panicked.

“Ha…Haha! L-look, she’s already trying her best given her

abilities! Unlike the Crimson Demon village, there’re many
people here! So, having one or two weirdos befriend her is
nothing unexpected!”

Funifura adamantly denied her loss while Dodonko also tried

to convince herself…

“E-exactly! By the way, Megumin, what’s up with this guy

here? You talked a lot about him back in the village; but on a
second thought, it didn’t make much sense. No way
Megumin can possibly be this lovey-dovey. Be honest with
us, Megumin. The shared bathing, sleeping together and
events of the sort are all accidents, right?”

This question spells disaster.

Besides, Aqua and Darkness had just left to take Komekko

to brush her teeth after desserts.
Only us four remained.

In other words—

“Uhmm… How should I put this… Er…”

Megumin blushingly glanced over at me, mumbled, then

lowered her head.

How strange, this chick doesn’t usually act this timid.

“You…hey, you gotta be joking, right!? How could you

possibly react so girlishly…!”

“N-no, I can’t lose to even Megumin… How could I lose to

that chronically airheaded Megumin who’s the least likely to
touch romance…!”

The two Crimson Demon girls backed closer and closer to

the door.

Hope drained from their faces as if they’ve seen the world’s

end.

Megumin shyly scratched her cheek…

…then said troublingly,

“Please keep this secret from my parents.”

“AHHHHH! We’ll never…!”

“…lose to you!”
Megumin savored the sight of them tearfully running away.

Then cracked a evil smile of victory.

—After sending them off, we bought a bunch of necessities

for Komekko’s stay and returned home.

As soon as we were home, Aqua occupied the sofa as if as

a display of power.

Within her grasp was Chomusuke, who had been neglected

recently due to our travels and is currently struggling for her
dear life.

“So, I’ll share my bed with Komekko. It’s been a while, you
must have felt lonely. Here, let me compensate you with
some long-awaited bedtime companionship.”

“Onee-chan must have been lonely without me…”

“K-Komekko!”

As she responded Megumin’s bed-sharing invitation with a

roast, Komekko stared intently at Chomusuke in Aqua’s
arms.

“Looks tasty…”

“Komekko, we have an abundance of food here, so please

leave Emperor Zell and Chomusuke alone!”
Megumin advised worriedly, to which Komekko nodded as
she wiped the corners of her mouth.

“You’re right, we must wait till they grow fatter.”

“No, that’s not why, Komekko! Those are our pets!”

Seemingly alarmed by Komekko’s heartless requests, Aqua

reflexively took Chomusuke away.

“Since we rarely gather, let’s host a welcome party. Onii-san

will bring you all sorts of delicacies!”

“Onii-san is so handsome!”

As Komekko cheered, she took out a small notebook.

“What are you writing?”

Megumin leaned over to see what she’s writing…

“mm/dd/yyyy: successfully seduced onee-chan’s boyfriend. I

seem to have shifted his target from onee-chan to myself…
Komekko! What do you mean by ‘seduce’ and ‘boyfriend’,
who taught you these words!?”

“Buzucoily.”

“That damn hikikomori huh!? The NEET really has zero

redeeming factors!”

What’s happening? Why do I feel hurt for this totally

unrelated man even though I’m no longer a NEET but an
adventurer?

“Say, what is this, really? A diary?”

“Mom told me to use this to keep track of onee-chan’s

relationship with her boyfriend.”

I completely didn’t expect there to be a spy among us.

Part 3
The next day.

Sleeping in till noon, I went downstairs for brunch.

“Onee-chan, another one!”

“Komekko, we always have enough food here, so you can

stop stuffing yourself like there’s no tomorrow.”

Before me was Komekko who hopped around to condense

the food in her stomach and Megumin who looked worried
for Komekko.

And then—
“Oi, Darkness, why is the rice somewhat salty…?”

“Hmm… because I’ve been crying buckets…”

…there were also the two people who watched Komekko

with teary eyes.

They seem to be strongly empathic about Komekko’s

poverty.

“Because she rarely has the chance to fill her stomach!”

“That may be the case, but as your older sister, I’d feel
ashamed. Here, have some pudding for dessert.”

“Nom!”

After feeling conflicted for a brief period, Aqua pushed her

own serving of dessert to the adorably gluttonous Komekko.

Unbelievably, even the most scrupulous person in terms of

“food awareness” has been converted.

“Onee-san is full, you can have my pudding, all right?”

“Is that really okay? Wasn’t pudding a super precious snack

we only eat on birthdays? Don’t you want it?”

While speaking, Komekko stared intently at Aqua’s pudding.

Buckling under empathy, Megumin and Darkness also
donated their share.

“Komekko, we’re the most famous adventuring party in the

whole nation; no worries for money. Tomorrow I’ll make you
a whole tub of pudding. For today, just say thanks and eat
all these.”

“Thanks everyone!”
Komekko bowed deeply in gratitude as she received the
pudding, as if it were some priceless treasure.

Aqua and company then continued to dote on her.

Just now, Megumin noticed me spectating.

“Huh, you’re up? Are you here for breakfast?”

“Oh please… Megumin, go ahead and tell me when you

need money. You always let me handle most of the income,
only taking some change and tax money every month. How
about I allocate a portion specifically for your personal
spending?”

Indeed, this girl normally has no greed to speak of.

She occasionally gets infatuated with high-tier robes or

fancy equipment, but from what I recall, the priciest item she
actually owns was the staff she bought with our cabbage
quest money.

I felt extremely sorry, like the time I saw all the discount
tickets and reward cards in her wallet.

“Thanks for your consideration, but I’m fine. I only send a

portion of my savings to my parents every month. Speaking
of which, should I send too much money home, my dad
would definitely blow through it all making useless magic
items.”

“I didn’t know your daddy was that irresponsible.”

As we talked, I began eating my belated brunch.

“Onee-chan onee-chan, your boyfriend is finally here. Can

we go to the guild now?”

“Komekko…! K-Komekko, uh… Could you stop calling him

‘onee-chan’s boyfriend’!?”

Aqua watched the bickering sisters with a graceful face as

she sipped her after-meal tea. Suddenly, she thought of
something.

(Aqua) “Right, so Komekko wants to visit the guild? Since

you’re interested, why not let this famous onee-san take you
there?”

(Darkness) “That’s right, I had returned here to start from

zero, to keep doing quests. Taking Komekko along while we
look for suitable quests isn’t a bad idea. By the way, why
would you want to go there anyway? That’s no place for
fooling around.”

Komekko then said something confusing in response to the

unusually pampering duo.

“I want to visit the guild to see how strong onee-chan is.”

However, Megumin seems to have understood it very well.

Her whole body trembled.

“In her recent letters, onee-chan told me that she is well-

respected within the guild. People would often compliment
her and bow down at the mere sight of her.”

Komekko said something I can’t overlook.

Silence fell.

“Oi.”

My single-syllable complaint intensified Megumin’s

shuddering and made her stand up.

“Komekko, why don’t we go play in the yard? You can meet

Emperor Zell in the pen there. Besides, it must’ve been long
since you last played with Chomusuke, right? So, take her
with you and go feed Emperor Zell!”

“Understood! I’ll feed it till it’s super fat!”

After resolutely sacrificing the cat that was sunbathing near

the window, Megumin sent Komekko off with a pressured
expression. She sighed.

Seeing she has no intention to face me, I then prompted her

again—

“…Oi.”

“It’s not what it looks like.”

Megumin spun around, jumped into seiza and defended

herself at the speed of light.

<TL note: a formal resting position>

Even though I can’t see how it could happen otherwise, I still

decided to hear her excuses first.

After we’ve all taken seat, Megumin stared off into the
distance as if reminiscing her past.

“Let me explain; this matter has deep history… That’s right,

it dates back to when I first left the Crimson Demon
village…”

And thus she proceeded to explain the roots for her stories
—

“—Nothing earth-shattering to speak of, is there?”

Hearing the story, I didn’t find anything too worrisome. She

merely postured several times in her letters home.

She even took it further and explained it as to prevent her

parents from worrying about her struggling in this cruel
world.

Now that she mentioned it, I remember how her parents

made many exaggerated comments when we had visited
the Crimson Demon village.

“I wish I had another way. Should my parents become too

worried, they might come take me back—that’d be terrible
news. Plus, without me, wouldn’t Kazuma also be
distraught?”

Having spilled the beans, Megumin stood up abruptly, flared

out her cloak and struck a smug pose as if saying “what do
you have to say now?”.

“No, uh…… Eh? If Megumin gets taken away…?”

Would I really be distraught?

“Oi.”

Megumin fired back, now that I’m the one deep in thought.

“I’d very much be distraught if Megumin left! Because that

way, I’d have to remake the chore distribution charts and do
even more work! On top of that, I’d have one less friend to
play with!”

Aqua’s careless response only salted Megumin’s wounds as

she fell to all fours in grave depression.

Darkness stroked her back to provide consolation.

(Darkness) “L-let’s put that aside for now. You’d better tell
Komekko the truth first. Since you can’t hide it forever,
confessing sooner rather than later could save you a lot of
trouble.”

Seeing us all nod in agreement…

“B-but my pride as an older sister…! No, Darkness is right.
Originally, I only wanted to lie about my conditions to keep
my parents calm—at first, I wrote the letters sincerely, but
my mother was still too overprotective… After all, since we
live in a mansion now, boasting about being a frontline hero
is redundant. There’s no reason to take me home either at
this point. I’d better come clean with Komekko.”

Megumin smiled in relief after seemingly making up her

mind.

“—Komekko… I have some serious matters to discuss with

you.”

After getting the dirtied Komekko who seemed to have had a

great time to sit down, Megumin faced her and told her
seriously.

Hearing that, Komekko was aghast.

“Could the tub of pudding onee-chan promised to give me…

be a ruse?”

“It’s nothing insignificant like that, the pudding isn’t a trick!

I’m here to tell you something far more important!”

Seeing that her pudding is genuine, Komekko sighed in

relief.

“Komekko,”
Resolutely, Megumin began,

“You remember how I claimed in my letters that we were the

strongest party in Axel, right?”

“Mhm, that onee-chan is a super-duper mage that can kill

any monster in a single hit and she’s well-respected by other
adventurers because of it…”

“Right. About that…”

Hearing Komekko’s recital, Megumin nodded.

“And the blonde onee-san never backs down before any

monster, she’s a reliable crusader who can withstand any
attack. The blue-haired onee-san is a priest that never loses
to any undead or devils; she can even revive dead people
like a goddess.”

As Komekko continued, Megumin stood up in a hurry.

“Onee-chan’s boyfriend is a very lucky and smart man; he

killed many strong enemies. Even though he often
complains, he still stands up for his friends when they’re in
danger. Very gentle.”

At that moment, Megumin covered Komekko’s mouth.

“Komekko, you didn’t have to say everything! The truth

behind these descriptions…”

Just as Megumin blushingly prepared to tell her the truth.

“As expected of Megumin, at least acknowledging that I’m
like a goddess—even though I am one. It’s fine Komekko,
your sister ain’t lying.”

Smiling, Aqua said somewhat arrogantly.

“Er, hmm. While I’m surprised at how Megumin sees me,

those aren’t really lies. Hehe… A reliable…crusader, huh…”

Even Darkness became uncontrollably flattered.

“Wh-what happened to you two!? D-don’t get the wrong

idea, Komekko, what I wrote in the letters were all…!”

Before Megumin could finish, I announced succinctly to

Komekko—

“…Completely true.”

Part 4
On our way to the Adventurer’s Guild.

Megumin berated us under her breath for taking Komekko

along.

“You guys just had to mess up this matter even more. I was
already prepared to be despised by her when I confessed…”

I responded to Megumin’s continued mumbling,

“Relax, you. I really don’t think what you had told Komekko
was that inaccurate. While it was indeed exaggerated, they
were true for the most part.”

“That’s right, they were exaggerated just a tiny bit. Besides,

many things can’t be explained clearly in letters, so those
mistakes aren’t even your fault.”

As I gave such an answer, Darkness said excitedly as she

led Komekko by her hand.

“Blonde onee-san, are you really super strong? Sturdy

enough to withstand explosion magic? Too powerful for
even devils to possess?”

“Mhmm, those are indeed true. Hmm, er… Man, did

Megumin include even these details…? Needless to say,
they’re still true.”

“So great!”

The usually compliment-deprived Darkness abused this

opportunity to fish for admiration from Komekko.
 She must enjoy Komekko’s compliments a lot because she
rarely gets to shine as a meat shield.

“So, what about me? Why not talk about me a little?”

The similarly compliment-deprived Aqua nagged Komekko

tirelessly from behind.

…I should also ask her to describe me later—

—Megumin’s voice echoed within the moderately spacious

guild hall.

“I have something to say!”

Megumin had yelled as soon as she entered the guild. All

the adventurers turned their attention to her.

Megumin and I let Darkness and Aqua handle Komekko

temporarily, and had come to the Adventurer’s Guild to
explain the situation.

“Everyone, listen, we actually have a request for you all!”

As everyone still paid attention to us, I began to elaborate.

About how Megumin’s sister had come and how Megumin

had been exaggerating our performance to her parents.
Having also mentioned that she had become idolized within
the guild.

“So, you just have to cooperate. We aren’t sure about the

reward yet, but at least for the time Megumin’s sister is
around, I’ll pay for all your drinks.”

Hearing my offer for free drinks, several people seemed to

light up.

However, most were still reluctant, seemingly against lying

to a child.

“I know what I’m asking is stupid, but…you have my

sincerest gratitude should you accept.”

I deeply bowed to the audience.

“K-Kazuma…!”

Megumin stood dumbstruck, not knowing what to say.

She then smiled at me.

“You didn’t have to go this far for me. I should better tell
Komekko the truth. Compared to keeping her onee-chan’s
dignity, not troubling Kazuma is more important. Everyone,
please forget what he just said. Sorry for dragging you all
into this mess.”

Saying that, she also bowed to the guild members.

…When suddenly.
“Don’t act like a stranger, Megumin. We got no problem with
cooperating; after all, drinks are on Kazuma.”

Suddenly, one of my drinking partners from the guild spoke.

“Speaking of which, Kazuma and company were the one

who rescued me when I first came to this city. They bought
me meals and taught me adventuring skills. Now, take it as
a return of favors.”

It was her, the newbie female adventurer I had randomly

chosen to dine and share adventuring wisdom with while
pretending to be a seasoned professional.

“Indeed, Kazuma’s party defeated powerful Demon

Generals multiple times. That’s no exaggeration. Speaking
respectfully around Megumin? Piece of cake. After all, I had
earned a hefty sum fighting strong monsters with you.”

That was another familiar adventurer.

Facing these adventurers, Megumin cried tears of genuine

joy.

“Uh… Thank you all very much. However, I still can’t fathom
everyone lying for the sake of my petty dignity. So, while I
understand your good intentions…”

Just as Megumin said that with her head down.

The door to the guild flew open.

“And here is the Axel Adventurer’s Guild! Sure, this might be

a beginner’s town and everyone here are low-levelled, but it
doesn’t lack in gentlemen who would eat and drink with you
just for hanging around!”

Everyone’s eyes now focused on Aqua, who’s sent some

mixed messages. Then, Komekko, coming in while holding
Darkness’ hand—

“But onee-chan said that this city was filled with powerful
adventurers!”

—said such a thing with an earthquake-inducing volume.

“She said they faced off against Demon General Beldia, the
Mobile Fortress Destroyer and the Kowloon Hydra without
faltering. They’re super courageous, and super handsome!”

She announced with a face full of smiles.

Following that, the adventurers all uniformly turned their

gazes to Megumin, whose own face is now blushed crimson
as her robe. She pulled her hat’s rim way down, avoiding
any eye-contact.

Komekko found nothing weird about the state of her sister,

even casting a look of admiration upon a nearby adventurer.

“So great!”
“R-really? Perhaps. Adventurers from other cities would
have abandoned post instantly. We may be strong, but your
sister is much more powerful!”

Seeing the adventurer smile as he spoke, Megumin turned

away in surprise.

A female adventurer beside the last also said proudly,

“Mhm, even though we’re low-levelled, our passion for

adventuring surpasses that of any city. But of course, we still
are no match for Megumin-san!”

“So cool!”

“Hey!?”

Megumin desperately tried to stop the female adventurer

from inflating the boast even more, but others have already
begun racing to compliment her.

“Megumin-san was being honest, lil’ girl. The adventurers of

this city are all very brave; the ones like me had charged
directly at that bastard Beldia’s face only to be slaughtered
by him. Hehe, while it was for the good of the city. Granted,
back then I could’ve used a little more finesse… Although,
courage wise, I’m still no match for Megumin-san, who had
faced off Beldia one-on-one.”

Earning an admiring gaze from Komekko, an adventurer told

something Megumin doesn’t know how to react to.
“When I first heard that the Mobile Fortress Destroyer,
having laid waste to numerous nations, had come to Axel, I
shuddered in fear. But then, I decided that I must protect the
city that nurtured me for so long. Of course, that machine
was also blown up by Megumin-san’s explosion magic. By
the way, it was from that battle that I got this scar on my
head…”

Eyes glimmering, Komekko listened intently to the scarred

adventurer’s story.

“I remember the fight with the Kowloon Hydra. It was a tough

one… It was supposed to be a match for only the royal
knights, yet because the capital had been busy dealing with
the Demon Army, they couldn’t find time. Alas, we had to
take care of it ourselves. Was I afraid, you might ask? Ha, I
unfortunately don’t understand what fear is. And the hydra?
He was terminated by none other than Megumin-san!”

Another adventurer joined the show. Everyone nodded

approvingly except Megumin and Komekko.

“Onee-chan and everyone here are all so great!”

Komekko’s innocent compliment brought smiles onto

everyone’s faces. Megumin was in shock with horror and
muttered something cryptic like ‘demonic imouto’.
 Part 5
“Come, little one. Have a taste of Axel’s specialty, roast
shrimps!”

On a table at the center of the guild hall—A chubby-faced

adventurer placed a plateful before Komekko.

“Idiot, little kids obviously love hamburgers way more! Here,

try this shrimp hamburger!”

As if competing, a female adventurer nearby served up

hamburgers.

The young girl then let out a heart-melting yet sly smile
and…

“I’ll take both!”

…made her call.

“—How terrifying. I’m truly worried about her future. It’d be a

real problem once she starts exploiting men for her own
benefits.”

Using a volume only I could hear, Megumin said as she

watched Komekko get drowned in hospitality.

“Being the older sister, you’re also pretty skilled at making

waste out of men. See, on the rare occasion things get
steamy, you would kill the mood…Owowowowow!”

Just as Megumin pinched me for saying something

unnecessary, the receptionist approached Komekko with a
smile.

Judging by the plate of ice cream in her hand, she seems to

have also been infected by Komekko’s charm… Hold on,
something’s amiss.

Komekko silently stuffed food into her mouth like a squirrel.

The onee-san stood right behind Komekko—

“Excuse me…”

Still smiling, she took out a stack of paper.

And passed one to a nearby adventurer.

“A subjugation quest for Lucy the Spectre? Hmm, could that

be…”

Hearing that, people all around shared glances.

The stack of paper that onee-san had were copies of a

subjugation quest.

On top of that, the adventurers internally refer to the quest

as the “durian quest” because nobody would touch it with a
ten-foot pole. Like so, the quest fell into neglect.

<TL note: lit. “kimchi quest”. I used durian here because it

was more relatable>

To this, Aqua frowned and leaned over to me.

“Kazuma Kazuma, I have an ominous feeling. We’ll definitely

end up being forced to take this hairy quest.”

“Coincidentally, Aqua, that is what I’m thinking, too.”

Feeling the perilous atmosphere surround me as I watched

from afar, I backed off step by step.

Just as I prepared to run should things go awry, the onee-

san said to Komekko who has difficulty standing up after
finishing two meals,

“You are Komekko, yes? I have ice cream for dessert here;
could you listen to onee-san for a while in exchange?”

“Sure!”

She answered swiftly even after eating so much. The onee-

san then placed the plate of ice cream before Komekko.

“Yes, there was a priest called Lucy who had, due to

circumstances, become a monster known as a spectre … To
this day, she still spends her time in anxiety near the ruins of
what used to be her church. Komekko, don’t you feel bad for
spectre-san?”

“I do.”

Gulping down the ice cream she had received, Komekko

agreed naturally.

The onee-san nodded in satisfaction to her response.

“Komekko thinks so, too? But worry not, for our powerful
adventurers will certainly finish the quest with little effort!”

(all) “What!?”

Onee-san’s inconsiderate comment made all the

adventurers exclaim in shock.

“H-hey, Luna-san, what are you talking about…”

“You guys will finish it, right?”

Luna interrupted the adventurer beside her.

Beside the onee-san, Komekko expectantly stared at the

adventurers. In the end, nobody had the courage to refuse—

“—Well then, let’s fly before we also get dragged in. Look at
that onee-san’s brilliant smile. She must be incredibly happy
that the unwanted quest has finally been answered.”

I said as I pointed at the subject with my thumb. The

adventurers that got invited looked dreadful.

Not a single person questioned my suggestion. Everyone

sneakily crept to the gates of the guild.
Lucy the spectre.

In the mountains near Axel are the ruins of an old church.

It belonged to neither the Axis nor Eris cults.

While we don’t know which god the small cult followed,

rumors say that Lucy was the last of their kind.

In this world, a god’s power is proportional to the faith of

their believers.

Which implies that if a god loses all their believers in the

mortal world, they will vanish as they’re stripped of power.

The devoted cultist Lucy didn’t want the god she follows to
disappear, so she chose to continue praying for them even
after death.

Because she kept praying even as a spectre, the virtuous

disciples were touched by her ardent faith and are reluctant
to let her pass on.

Besides, as an ex-crusader herself, Lucy has high

resistance to holy magic even though she’s a spectre.

To let such a spectre pass on, an extremely powerful

archpriest is needed; yet the powerful archpriests are more
than often peaceful and virtuous.

Thanks to this incompatibility, Lucy still wanders around the

ruins to this day.
“We need a strong archpriest to let Lucy pass on; a lousy
one who’s ignorant of faith and virtue, at that. Do those
really exist?”

“We do have a plenty of trashy cultists, but the emphasis is

on ‘powerful’. Most of the priests in this city stink of
corruption and are barely skilled.”

“What about the Axis followers? They should be happy to

send Lucy into the afterlife, right?”

Facing my back to the discussion among the adventurers,

we snuck over to the gates and were just about to open the
door silently as possible…

“K-Kazuma Kazuma…”

Megumin’s shaky voice made me turn around uneasily…

…to find everyone’s gazes focused on Aqua.

Part 6
The next day.

Departing early, we came to a mountain north of Axel.

“Hey, Aqua, this must sound puzzling coming from a

crusader, but—do we really have to vanquish Lucy? To be
honest, I’m not very convinced…”

Yesterday, after all that happened, we couldn’t help but

accept the subjugation quest for Lucy.

Those adventurers were feeling relieved after they’ve

shamelessly pushed the mission unto us, only to be buried
in countless other “durian quests”.

On a side note, Komekko seems to have figured that she

could get free food from anyone, so she headed to the guild
early in the morning.

“What are you talking about, Darkness? You have heard of

the reason she stays on this world, right? She’s a different
case from a certain earth spirit in our house who is lonely
and enjoys adventure stories. Should she pass on
automatically after her soul’s been satisfied, it’d be no
problem. However, Lucy will forever remain on this world.
That way, I have the responsibility to force her into the
afterlife.”

What happened to this woman.

The rare sight of Aqua making a goddess-like oath shocked

everyone. Aqua didn’t seem to notice and continued,

“While I know not of which unpopular god she worships,

having fewer competitors is nevertheless better. I’ll let their
final follower pass on and eliminate this reject god for good.”
“You good-for-nothing woman, give us back that feeling of
slight compassion.”

We chatted as we moved along, finally sighting the remains

of what seems to be a minor church.

“This has to be it, the church of the reject god! Who cares if
she’s the Goddess of Vengeance and Manipulation, I’ll
destroy her together with Lucy!”

“I’m inclined to agree with Darkness… Seeing that the

endangered god is female only made me even more
reluctant. After all, I can’t really bring myself to hate a
spectre living in anxiety…”

Aqua ignored my complaint, started panting out of sheer joy

and walked towards the church faster. Megumin suddenly
stopped.

“…Aqua, you were saying? Goddess of Manipulation and

Vengeance?”

“Indeed. That’s what the receptionist lady told me. Lucy the
spectre worships the Goddess of Manipulation and
Vengeance; she still prays to this day.”

Then, Megumin tugged my shirt.

“Kazuma, could I say something?”

“What? Don’t tell me you want to let us have mercy on Lucy

because the goddess of ‘manipulation and vengeance’
sounds too cool to be lost.”

My semi-serious comment made Megumin shudder.

“…N-no. While the goddess of ‘manipulation and

vengeance’ does sound cool, she is more importantly
related to me.”

“Oh you, this demon that goddess… Why do you always

manage to involve yourself with such insidious entities. It’s
annoying enough as it is with Aqua around.”

Although I felt speechless, I still let her continue. Megumin

then reminisced,

“Kazuma, remember when you went to the Crimson Demon

village?”

“Mhm, I do. How could I forget such a unique place? Shared

a bed with Megumin and got ♂ poked by Sylvia…”

<TL note: this ♂ is a reference to Van Darkholme. They

mark homosexual innuendos.>

“I’d rather you not remember sharing a bed! Besides that,

I’m asking if you remember the attractions in the village.”

“Right. Stuff like the nekomimi shrine and the Excalibur rock.
What about them?”

Megumin still hesitated to tell me.

And then…
“There were also the ‘tomb which seals the evil god’ and the
‘sealing grounds of the nameless goddess’, right?”

“Mhm, I vaguely remember. Both seals were broken if I

recall correctly. Sealed in the tomb was the Demon General
known as Wolbach, and?”

“The seal of the evil god was accidentally broken when I was
young, but at this point prosecuting me is senseless. Let’s
set that aside that for now. The problem lies within the
grounds of the sealed nameless goddess.”

“What do you mean by ‘senseless’? I think letting that evil

god escape is poking a wasp’s nest and very significant.”

Megumin ignored my accusation and said in a somewhat

casual tone,

“…Yep, it dates to when I had first learned Explosion magic.

To defeat an invading evil god’s subordinate, I chanted the
explosion spell as I protected Komekko and Yunyun.”

“Oi, don’t you try to change the topic, look at my eyes while
you talk.”

Megumin still had no intention to turn around, instead she

continued to talk to herself.

“Simply put, the target location of my explosion magic just so

happened to be the sealing grounds. As a result, the
Goddess of Manipulation and Vengeance that was trapped
there escaped, and we haven’t seen her since.”
“What the hell are you saying? Hey, just what are you
implying!?”

She said nonchalantly—

“The holy being that Lucy worships must be the goddess

that had been sealed in the Crimson Demon village up until
that point. By now, the goddess has been free for two years;
she most likely has gained new followers besides Lucy.
Therefore, don’t sweat making Lucy pass on, the goddess
won’t vanish even then.”

I was dumbfounded by the matters that were just shoved

into my face.

“What the hell is wrong with you Crimson Demons? Bringing

an evil god from elsewhere on your own accord just to seal
her at your home, even making it an attraction. Aren’t your
lives too lawless!? Consider at least a little how others feel!”

Now that she mentioned it, I really want to slap whoever that
gave birth to the Crimson Magic Clan right across their face.

…Although, at least we know that vanquishing Lucy won’t

harm the goddess.

That way, the only key difficulty left is overcoming her strong
resistance to holy magic; however, that shouldn’t be a
problem since we have Aqua.

Well then, time to do what needs to be done—!

 Part 7
“Stop right there, Axis scum! Don’t come any closer!”

“What did you say, you damn ghost!? I feel that even using
purification magic on you is a waste! Let me send you on
your merry way with a God’s Beating!”

After arriving at the church, we quickly got on with our

spectre-removal duty.

“Great Regina, Goddess of Manipulation and Vengeance,

please bring divine retribution upon this blue-haired woman!
You despicable Axis cultist, taste my curse!”

“You have the audacity to curse a pure goddess, don’t make

me laugh! Darkness, give me your sword! Watch as I
obliterate the hell out of the ruined church that this ghost
calls home!”

Lucy, the ghost that resides here, must have been a virtuous
devotee to keep praying even after death.

Currently arguing with Aqua is a translucent female spectre

about the age of 20.

Megumin and I watched them fight dumbly. Then, Darkness

interceded.

“Calm down, you two. Aqua, we’re both disciples. Lucy, you
must have been a disciple too, right? Then, let us stay calm
and talk this out. The goddesses that you two worship
wouldn’t want a fight, would they?”

Darkness said while bitterly smiling. The goddess and the

spectre then lashed back.

“Oi, what do you mean by ‘the goddesses that you two

worship’!? Didn’t you say that you recognize my godhood!?
This spectre dare look down upon a goddess, don’t you
think she should be destroyed as soon as possible!?”

“Regina-sama, who I faithfully worship, is the Goddess of

Manipulation and Vengeance! We believe in the eye-for-an-
eye ideal! So, an outsider like you can go mind your own
business!”

Darkness was unexpectedly counter-attacked. Those two

weren’t even finished yet.

“Man, that’s what I meant when I say Eris cultists are

absurd! Eris has many followers, of course she has no need
to fight! Although, acting arrogant to the bone just for being
the national religion couldn’t possibly be beneficial.
Darkness, why not come pray for the Axis church once in
awhile?”

“I’m so envious of the amount of followers Eris has!

Unpopular religions like us must fight for survival everyday!
Wanting peace? Don’t bring up such a first-world problem!”

Darkness returned speechlessly after being verbally abused

by the duo.

“Look at you, just had to go meddle in other people’s

business. Aqua would have purified her either way.”

“I’m also a devotee, so I’ve always wanted to convince a

ghost into ascending on its own device…”

As I half-heartedly consoled the depressed Darkness, the

fighting over yonder intensified to the brink of major
violence.

“Go repent! Go repent in the underworld for angering a

goddess! Ahahahaha! Watch as I God’s Blow the reject
goddess Regina along with her final follower into oblivion!”

“Grrr! The scent of a nemesis I’ve been smelling up till

now… I didn’t believe that someone like you could be such
a…!? Regina-sama, Regina-sama, I still have favors I’ve yet
to return! Regina-sama who sent the man that wasted all my
hard-earned money to hell! Regina-sama who robbed
penniless the woman that married my brother only to scam
him of all his wealth! I have to keep you from fading, at least
in the name of all who’s unfortunate!”

Lucy prayed in tears in contrast to Aqua who wore an evil

smile as she approached while swinging her fist.

Then.

“Don’t worry, the goddess that you praise was relieved of

her seal two years ago. She must have garnered other
followers by now.”

Megumin, who had been calmly observing this whole time,

said to Lucy.

She looked like a disciple, too.

“…Really? How would you know about this?”

Lucy gazed pleadingly at Megumin as if seeking salvation.

“Because I was the one who saved the goddess you

worship. Go, you can rest in peace now.”

Seemingly finding no lies in Megumin’s firm statement, Lucy

smiled tranquilly as if her prayers have been answered.

“Thank you so much, kind stranger… While I want to

properly express my gratitude—it seems that the sole desire
keeping me on this world has been satisfied—I couldn’t stay
much longer. Sorry that I couldn’t return your favor…”

Saying that, Lucy smiled bitterly. Megumin returned with one

of her own.

“The essence of us Crimson Demons is to never refuse

gratitude. This is quite fitting to the eye-for-an-eye teaching
of yours. We seem to click well with the Goddess of
Manipulation and Vengeance, so you have no need to
stress.”

Now relaxed, Lucy smiled gently at Megumin—

“God’s Blow!”

“Ouch!”

The utterly mood-blind True Priest suddenly punched Lucy.

“The hell are you doing all of the sudden! Why did you have
to mess it up after finally reaching an understanding!? At this
rate, she was in shape to naturally ascend!”

Facing the scene that is more than ‘slightly outrageous’,

Darkness and Megumin stood frigid.

“Exactly because she was going to leave soon! I can’t stand

being looked down upon by this questionable reject goddess
and having her follower escape after defiling me!”

Lucy trembled severely as she caressed her cheek at the

absolutely immature goddess before her.

“No way you’re a goddess! It’s gods like you whose

followers become outcasts! Don’t you feel ashamed of
having less followers than your kouhai Eris-sama!? Your
kouhai’s cult has become a national religion; meanwhile, the
number of Axis cultists…pfft!”
Lucy then chuckled under her breath as she pointed at
Aqua.

Aqua’s eyebrows shot up.

“Oi, hold it you! I won’t accept being scolded this way by a

reject cult with such few members that they might disappear
any second!”
Completely furious, Aqua tried to grab Lucy, but she had
nearly faded away. Her body floated up into the air.

“Great Regina-sama… As the follower of the Goddess of

Vengeance, in my final moments, I have unleashed an epic
roast upon the goddess that lost to her own kouhai… Having
finished acting badass, I shall be on my way now. I wish you
a bright future…”

And like that…

…the believer of the Goddess of Manipulation and

Vengeance—

“WAAAAAAH! How could she run from this!”

Happily disappeared after successfully doing critical damage

to the Goddess of Water.
 Chapter 4 – Showdown with this
Crafty Monster!
Part 1
“Oh Komekko, you got rice on your lips.”

The morning after Aqua defeated the spectre, Lucy.

Megumin carefully supervised Komekko as she wolfed down

her breakfast.

Watching Komekko eat so intently, Megumin smiled wryly

after picking off the grain of rice from Komekko’s face and
ate it.

“Onee-chan stole my food!”

“K-Komekko! Don’t make drama out of me eating your single

grain of rice! Eat slower and steadier if you don’t want that to
happen again. Your breakfast won’t grow legs and run away
anytime soon.”

Hearing Megumin’s kind advice, Komekko grew serious and

put her cutlery down on the table.

“When onee-chan used to steal corn from the farms, she

said they would run away if we didn’t eat them fast enough.”
“Forget about that, cooked rice doesn’t run!”

Having finished her breakfast, Aqua smiled at the

conversation before her.

“Being sisters seems pretty good. Ne, Kazuma, now I also

want an imouto. There are gender-bending magic items in
this world, you know; why not give it a try?”

“While I don’t get what exactly you’re implying, I understand

your desire for imoutos. Imoutos are great, especially the
cutesy ones that’d call you ‘onii-chan’—those are the best.”

Just as I basked in the bitter memories of Iris.

“Emergency! Emergency! All adventurers, arm yourselves

and gather at the guild. I repeat; all adventurers, arm
yourselves and gather at the guild!”

Along came a broadcast that I haven’t heard for the longest

time.

I instinctively gazed over at Darkness who’s sipping her

brown tea.

“Urgent broadcasts should be rare around this time, right?

We’re not in season for cabbages, there hasn’t been any
high-bounty targets recently either. What’s going on?”
The broadcast repeated as Darkness sat dumbstruck.

And then,

“Additionally, all Crimson Demons currently in the city must

participate. I repeat, all Crimson Demons currently in the city
must participate!”

In response to this unusual broadcast, Darkness and I

shared another glance.

Part 2
“—What’s going on here? Oi, what just happened here?”

After we arrived at the Adventurer’s Guild, we saw a row of

staff.

When Darkness asked the question, one staff member

nearby told her to just get in.

Seems like they’re waiting for all the adventurers to gather

before explaining.

“If possible, I want to avoid doing anything dangerous; I just

want to live in peace… But, since it was an emergency, I’m
afraid there will for sure be another evil antagonist…”
“And what did you mean when you said all Crimson Demons
must participate? Komekko is also a Crimson Demon;
although she can’t use magic yet, we’ve still brought her
along for the time being…”

Megumin scanned her surroundings, visibly alert.

“You’ve finally come!”

Suddenly, a guild staff member greeted Megumin

respectfully.

“…Eh? Why, all of the sudden? Unless the guild gave me

VIP status after finally realizing the true usefulness and
power of my explosion magic? A bit late in my opinion
though…”

Then, another staff member said to the man that was

greeting Megumin,

“No, not her. Actually, her attendance is optional. The more

important subject is the other young lady.”

“Hey, what do you mean ‘optional’? Is that a challenge?”

The staff, however, didn’t quite grasp Megumin’s wrath and

instead bowed to Komekko.

“Welcome. We’ve prepared desserts, this way please!”

Hearing the staff, Komekko followed her leisurely. Megumin

went forth to stop her.
“Hey, don’t lead my sister around all willy-nilly! What’s going
on? Since when did the Adventurer’s Guild turn into a lolicon
club? Depending on your answer, I might call police right
here and now!”

“Th-that’s not true! We have our reasons! Ah, Luna-san,

what a great time for you to arrive!”

The staff sobbingly sought help, to which the receptionist

onee-san smiled warmly.

“Specifically calling for Crimson demons all of the sudden

only to bait my sister as soon as we arrive, what is this
supposed to be?”

Against Megumin’s interrogation, the onee-san puffed out

her chest confidently.

“The Adventurer’s Guild is always on the search for

excellent candidates. Reasonably, we’ll serve Crimson
Demons who are born with the potential to become great
mages. That said, isn’t it only logical that we show hospitality
to Komekko-san?”

“Excuse me, all else aside, I’m also a Crimson Demon.”

The staff members all turned their gazes away in response.

“A-anyways, this way, Komekko-san! We’ve prepared an

incredible amount of snacks!”

“No! I just said that I’m also a Crimson Demon…”

The onee-san ignored Megumin’s complaint and brought
Komekko to the center of the guild hall.

Waiting until most of the adventurers have showed up, the

onee-san then said,

“Welcome, everyone! Sorry about the emergency

broadcast!”

She then announced with a big smile in front of the dessert-

stuffed Komekko—

“So, I understand everyone’s been working hard yesterday.

The success rate was very high, a rare occurrence since the
Axel branch was established. Even the spectre Lucy had
been subjugated by Aqua-san! As expected of Axel
adventurers, you are all excellent!”

Giving out compliments like there’s no tomorrow, just what is

this onee-san scheming?

The adventurers were pleased too; some covering their

mouths in shyness, some scratching their heads
distractedly.

“Although…”

The onee-san’s tone made a sharp turn.

Not sure why, but I have a bad feeling about what’s coming
next.

“We’ve prepared a new job for you exceptional people!”

Mhm, I’m calling it.

It’s the instinct of incoming trouble that I often have.

“Compared to yesterday, the work today really is only

slightly more arduous and difficult. It should definitely be no
problem for the adventurers here!”

A stiff-faced man then interrupted the onee-san’s

irresponsible boasting.

“Hold on, Luna-san, don’t be so inconsiderate.”

Seeing that the onee-san has no plans to stop, the other

adventurers also spoke up.

“Wait a second, what do you mean by ‘more difficult and

arduous’ than yesterday’s quest!? Is this the reason behind
the emergency rally!?”

Other adventurers hurriedly followed suit.

“Forget it, just cut us some slack!”

“We gave our all yesterday, we’ve no strength left!”

“And I was planning to relax at the bar today…”

The onee-san continued to ignore the adventurers, still

smiling gently.

“There will be no problems, since the Axel adventurers here

are the cream of the crop in the nation!”
She even said something that baseless and dishonest.

“Right, Komekko-san?”

She even asked for support from Komekko, who’s currently

only concerned with stuffing dessert down as fast as
possible.

I get it now, it’s that tactic.

“Axel adventurers are super strong. Onee-san said it, they’re

the type to never back off from any opponent, regardless of
how powerful they are.”

Having reaped yesterday’s benefits, she must be trying to

take advantage of Komekko and plow through the remaining
quests while she’s still here.

At this point, it seems that I’m not the only one who has
figured out the staff’s ulterior motive.

Color drained from the faces of all present adventurers.

Then, one of them cried dramatically in resignation.

“…Damn it! I-I’ll take it, all right!? Oi, bring it on! The hardest
quest! Come at me!”
Rolling with the momentum, others also began to accept
their fate.

“Just w-watch, I’ll let you witness how powerful Axel mages
are!”

To be honest, they aren’t all that exhausted today.

Seeing their reaction, Megumin broke into cold sweat as she

reached out to stop them.

“Everyone listen, you don’t have to be absurd…”

However, her weak voice could not penetrate their ears. Her
arm also waved in vain.

“Mmm… Hmm… Although I don’t quite agree with the

tactics, the adventurers have indeed been weak and lazy.
Durian quests aside, even regular quests were seldom
completed… But all in all—“

Darkness said as she glared at me.

“Since they have defeated quite a few high-bounty targets

with you, a number of them earned more money than they
knew what to do with; consequently, laziness increased
overall. Especially those who adventured with Kazuma;
they’ve been NEET-ified thanks to you. For the sake of
Axel’s security, I could see the necessity of this measure.”

This woman and her speeches, I swear.

To be fair though, ignoring nearby monsters could indeed be
a hazard.

“Anyways, let’s just take a few random quests. Gotta let

Komekko witness our power, at least. Right, Megumin?”

I bitterly smiled at Megumin.

“That’s right. Only Aqua got her chance to shine yesterday; if

I want to keep my dignity, I’d better display my strength.”

Just as we went about taking some random quests.

“No worries. As a commission for Satou-san and his friends,

we’ve specifically prepared a job aimed at strong parties.”

The onee-san said with a bright smile.

Yet I only felt more ominous.

We’ve already completed the widely rejected mission of

Lucy’s ascension.

We’re not about to take yet another troublesome quest.

I linked arms with the now familiar onee-san and led her to a
corner out of Komekko’s earshot.

“Onee-san, onee-san, don’t you have a clear idea of our

actual, raw power? Please have mercy on us. Flattering so
much right now; what are you expecting from us? Even
though you’re a beauty with a body that ticks all my criteria, I
still won’t be led around like a dog on a leash.”
Seemingly used to being called a beauty, the onee-san
responded happily with a smile—

“Ah, haha, I’m a beauty huh… How flattering of Satou-san.

What about this; should Satou-san successfully finish this
commission…we can go on a date today after work.”

“Ah, I’ll pass on that. Onee-san’s anguish for being a

christmas cake has spread rather extensively among the
adventurers.”

As I made an excuse, onee-san’s smile abruptly vanished.

“Excuse me, but who has been spreading such

information?”

“And thus, we bid you farewell. We’ll go hunt down some

stray toads.”

Before I could leave, she gripped my arm with force.

“Not so fast, Satou-san. Putting the other quests aside for

now, only this one requires you in particular. I can say with
confidence that out of Axel, none other than you, Satou-san,
can complete the quest I’m offering.”

Seeing her stern face unseen before, I couldn’t help but halt.

Totally not because my elbow touched a certain part of

onee-san’s body when she had grabbed me.

Her words caught my attention somewhat.

Specifically, the part where she said, “other quests aside for
now, only this one”.

“You really do rate me highly. It might sound weird coming

from me; but frankly, I’m a real scumbag in face-to-face
combat.”

“Of course I knew.”

Huh, she didn’t deny it?

As the adventurers hurried left and right across the guild hall
—

The onee-san said staring directly at me,

“The quest that only Satou-san can complete, is—“

Part 3
Inside a small forest west of Axel grows a large tree.

This tree is infamous among the adventurers and guild staff.

Although the area around it is forbidden territory, tourists
from other cities still visit it constantly.
Why would people visit that particular place?

Because under the massive tree lives a monster.

Called the tranquility princess.

Probably an upgraded version of the tranquility girl I

destroyed a while back—

“—Look, Kazuma, why don’t we forfeit this quest? The

enemy is a tranquility princess. Do you know how she’s
managed to stay rooted there for so long without getting
destroyed?”

On our way to the forest that is home to the tranquility

princess.

Aqua had been making a fuss behind us just now.

“Kazuma Kazuma, I actually don’t feel that motivated to

destroy the tranquility princess…”

Even Megumin worked against me.

“You guys shouldn’t put all the blame on Kazuma. The

tranquility princess is in fact a very benign existence to some
people. For example, those who are tormented by terminal
diseases can go to her and pass away peacefully—does
that really count as evil? Although, also due to her
existence, suicides have become rampant in that forest.
Yes, that counts as suicide. As a servant of our Goddess, I
frown upon suicide. Even if the subject has good intentions, I
still cannot tolerate assisted suicide.”

Judging by the excuse Darkness made for me, she doesn’t

get the situation either.

I dropped my backpack and looked back at them.

“How could you still have not made up your minds. Do you
really think I’d destroy the tranquility princess for wealth and
fame?”

(Aqua) “Of course, aren’t you the man who would brutalize
cute, innocent fairies for their experience and bounty? Last
time, you assassinated the snow fairy that I caught and
named; I still haven’t forgiven you yet!”

This bastard even dug up the old grudges.

I breathed a long sigh.

“I didn’t do anything, all right? It must have melted when you

had placed it near the heater.”

Back when we were exterminating monsters called snow

fairies, she wanted to keep one as a pet.

The snow fairy she caught was gone the next day, so she
firmly believed that I was the culprit.

“When we were at the Crimson Demon village, didn’t I tell

you about my encounter with a tranquility girl? They aren’t at
all charitable; in fact, they’re quite devious.”
At the time, they blamed me for being all that’s unholy; I had
to explain myself for a long while.

And here I thought we had come to an understanding…

“I’m still skeptical after all that happened. Since the

opponent was so malevolent, how then could it go unnoticed
by my all-seeing eyes?”

“Are you sure your eyes aren’t marbles?”

I instantly returned fire. Aqua puffed out her cheeks in rage. I

then took out a certain item from my backpack.

“Haw… Kazuma, that’s…”

It is the lie-detecting magic item that had been used on me

numerous times.

If things went on like this, Aqua and her friends would

definitely inhibit my destruction of the tranquility princess.

And thus, it’s time for this magic item to shine.

Using it, I could expose the lies of the tranquility princess

and corroborate my account.

“So, look closely, all; I’m telling you that I’m right.”

Aqua showed a suspicious look upon hearing my confident

declaration.
—We walked all the way through the dense underbrush and
arrived at the giant tree.

There weren’t many monsters at all.

Rumors say that adventurers volunteered to clear the area

to protect the tranquility princess from monsters.

How long had we really spent walking through this forest?

Just as I worried about having gone down the wrong path.

“Ne, Kazuma, isn’t that it? I see light over there.”

I looked at where Aqua was pointing and saw a bright

clearing among the dark forest.

Heading over, I could see a giant tree and a small steam.

Trees were scarce around the stream which glimmered in

the sunlight, piercing the surrounding darkness.

Suddenly, someone talked to us.

“Hello adventurers; have you come to seek a peaceful end,

are you merely lost?”

The voice sounded calming, silky-soft yet clear as raindrops

in water.

When I turned to look for the origin of the voice,

“Or perhaps you have come to see… me?”

<TL note: soretomo wa, ta, shi? joke>

An elegant woman whose bottom half is a tree bashfully

smiled at us with familiarity.

Part 4
Crap, this was beyond my anticipation.

“Ne, so you’re the tranquility princess?”

The tranquility princess tilted her head at Aqua’s inquiry.

“By ‘tranquility princess’, do you mean me? Since humans

all have names, you’ve also given me a name; is that how it
works?”

Having said that, the tranquility princess went on to

cheerfully repeat her own name.

“Thank you. And please also offer my gratitude to the

creators of my name for me, won’t you? After all, I couldn’t
move in this form.”

Watching the tranquility princess talk with us so kindly and

joyfully, I knew this would be problematic.

With but a few words, even Darkness started warming up to

her, let alone Aqua and Megumin.

The tranquility girl we had defeated at the Crimson Demon

village had been the kind which acts weak to provoke your
protective instincts.

However, this one starts communicating right away to

actively bond with the victim.

“Ohh, your roots are intermingled with the earth, unlike the
tranquility girl which had the form of a complete human.”

Saying that, Aqua carelessly approached the princess to feel

her roots, suddenly…

“Don’t!”

The so-far friendly tranquility princess yelled.

Aqua jumped, and Darkness stepped up to protect Megumin

and I.

“Don’t touch my root. The roots are oblivious to my emotions

and will harm you humans.”

The tranquility princess looked down sadly.

“…What is it? You can pour out any hard feelings at me, you
know?”

As Aqua probed worriedly, I started to deeply question what

the tranquility princess had just revealed.
I couldn’t believe she admitted to her deadliness.

What’s going on?

Is she really the upgraded version of the tranquility girl?

Something about her still bugs me…

After sharing my thoughts quietly with Darkness, she looked

at me as if saying “what are you talking about after all that
has happened”.

“The tranquility girl you mentioned was devious, right?

However, the tranquility princess is humane—or so they say,
at least. Even the adventurers dispatched by Axel to destroy
her all ended up unanimously agreeing. As for whether the
tranquility princess should even be eliminated, that problem
is hotly debated within the guild. They argue over whether
she really is harmless, whether she should be considered an
enemy at all and things like that.”

“That’s why they commissioned me. Speaking of which,

onee-san did mention that this was a reconnaissance
mission. As a seasoned professional who had seen through
the trickeries of the tranquility girl, I’m always cautious;
therefore, they’ve sent me in hopes of investigating the true
intentions of this monster.”

“I’m not so sure that she really trusts you, but at least she
acknowledges the fact you destroyed the tranquility girl
without a second thought.”
Truth be told, the existence of the tranquility girl didn’t really
pose an issue. She’s mostly responsible for bidding farewell
to those at the end of their lives.

The retired adventurers who had lost all friends and foes
alike, who had nobody to chat with.

So, in the end, the one to accompany them for the peaceful
death they craved was a monster. What an ironic turn of
events.

“To pass away all by yourself in a secluded spot, or to spend

your final moments hand-in-hand with a beautiful woman
who truly understands your sorrows? They really had quite
the debate over the better option.”

Rather die by oneself or become monster food in exchange

for a gentle send-off from a beautiful woman.

So that’s the deal; can’t say she’s evil for certain when you
put it that way.

…But nonetheless, that assumes the tranquility princess

hasn’t a hidden, devious side.

I stared intently at the tranquility princess.

“I wanna ask, how did the recent visitors fare? How well did
they take the ends of their lives?”

The tranquility princess answered,

“Everyone’s faces looked peaceful post-death.”

Her tone was indifferent, yet she forced a smile as tears
welled up in her eyes.

“You seem different from the adventurers I’ve met up till

now.”

The tranquility princess’ smile turned dreamlike.

“The very reason for my existence was to murder humans

like you.”

Instead of making excuses, she directly told us the point of

her being.

“You appear to have an iron will… While it worries me, and

fills me with guilt, to ask you this…”

Her body is trembling slightly.

“For the sake of my beloved humans…could you destroy

me?”

She pleaded with a troubled and bitter smile.

Crap, what was that?

Could she really in fact be a good-hearted monster?

Last time when Aqua went to purify a wizard named Keel, he

had also wanted to be purified for the sake of his lover.

And now the tranquility princess wishes to be destroyed

because she regrets harming humans.
But wait a second, think back to the tranquility girl.

Not sure how, but she had no problem tricking us at first.

It was a miracle that we managed to destroy her.

Had we let her live, people could still be getting caught even
now.

“Don’t be that way; you should treasure your life as long as

you’ve no diseases tormenting you, understand? Nothing is
without use on this world. The only ones that deserve to be
wiped out are the undead and unholy! There are cute and
delicious monster, also kind ones like you! If even NEETs
get to live happily, such a nice-hearted creature like you has
no reason to stop living!”

Holding the tranquility princess’ hand, Aqua suddenly began

giving speeches.

“Indeed, you’re not in the wrong. Besides, for retired

adventurers, tranquility girls are normally the only hope for a
peaceful death. Compared to dying a treacherously lonely
death, ending their lives painlessly under company is
certainly better. On top of that, as the evolved form of
tranquility girls, it’s by their own choice to let you bid them
their final farewell. You have no responsibility to worry over.”

Even Megumin went to hold hands with the tranquility

princess and embraced her tightly.

“C-can I…really keep on living on this world…?”

The tranquility princess looked up at the two anxiously.

Only Darkness stayed and looked back and forth between

the tranquility princess and I with a conflicted expression.

This scene is basically identical to what had happened near

the Crimson Demon village.

How obnoxious. Using that item would surely earn me more

lecturing from them.

“Kazuma, about the uh, tranquility princess, I say…”

Darkness was about to continue when she saw what I was

holding.

“Y-you’re…”

Yes, it was the lie-detecting magic item.

Seeing me steadily make my way towards the tranquility

princess, Darkness looked as if she has slightly given up on
me.

As an adventurer, I merely want to carefully prod the true

intentions of my target. What’s with the hate?

“Oi, don’t look at me that way, even I can be sensitive.”

Noticing our conversation, Aqua and Megumin also gazed at

me.

“Ne ne Kazuma, what are you holding? Could it be that

dingalingy thing from before? I know what it is.”

“K-Kazuma? Are you still skeptical? Even without things like

that, we could…”

The two gave up on me just as much as Darkness had. I

took in their stares of “please don’t tell me he’d go there” as
the tranquility princess innocently put on a confused face.

“What is that?”

I answered to the truly bewildered tranquility princess,

“Ah, this is a lie-detecting magic item, it rings when it hears a

lie.”

The tranquility princess and I stared at each other amid the

dead-silent forest.

Aqua and company revealed looks of “this guy really has the
audacity”.

I anxiously continued to approach the tranquility princess.

“Don’t fret, as long as it doesn’t ring, I’ll trust you 100%. This
way, it’ll also be easier for the Adventurer’s Guild to decide
their diplomacy with you. “

That’s right, everyone here are witnesses.

Therefore,

“Makes sense. As a monster, I’m untrustworthy.”

As I’ve said, please don’t look so bitter.

I’d also feel bad, so please don’t.

“Look, Kazuma, right now I feel like you’re totally the

paranoid and inadequate guy who suspects that his wife is
committing adultery when she cheerfully announces her
pregnancy even though he’s been saturating himself with
other women on a regular basis.”

“You went too far, Aqua. However, I do agree that he is one

crafty man who’s also despicably shrewd and chronically
paranoid…”

As if realizing halfway that she wasn’t exactly paraphrasing

Aqua’s point, Megumin’s voice trailed off.

“Thanks, you two. I’m fine; as a monster, I’ve gotten used to

being doubted. Please take it lightly. And sir, don’t look so
depressed, either. Please go easy on yourself…”

Only the tranquility princess consoled me. That fact alone

jerked my tears.

Damn it, why did the onee-san have to shove this job down
my throat?

Do I really appear that heartless in the eyes of others?

Though unironically, I am indeed very hurt…

As I stood devastated with the magic item, Darkness kindly

spoke up.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. I agree with you. Let me use
the magic item, I can’t let you do all the dirty work.”

No, my instincts still telling me to not easily trust the

tranquility princess.

Don’t act so kind towards me.

For the whole time, the tranquility princess’ eyes had been
glued to the magic item.

When she had asked at first about what the magic item did, I
felt that she knew very well its mechanics and the extent of
its abilities.

Not sharing the same thoughts, Darkness took over the

magic item.

“Dear tranquility princess, I wish to ask you a question. What

do you think of us humans?”

“…Humans are incredibly important to me; I’d even go so far

as to say they’re a necessity.”

Aqua and Megumin stared at the magic item, which didn’t

ring.

Darkness breathed a large sigh of relief.

“Sorry for suspecting you. Please forgive me. But this way,
we can officially put our skepticism to rest… See, Kazuma?
Be more positive. It’s a rare opportunity for us to end a
mission peacefully.”
I ignored Darkness who smiled generously as if she has
seen the rainbow after the storm.

“What happened to the adventurers and visitors who died

here, after you’ve accompanied them for their final stretch?
Did you absorb their bodies for nutrients?”

My statement chilled the air around us.

(Aqua) “Y-you…!”

I ignored the appalled Aqua and instead continued to

question the equally shocked tranquility princess.

“As you’ve said, us humans are supposedly very important

to you; however, is that because we provide nutrients for
your own survival?”

That question seems to have hurt the tranquility princess,

who began to cry.

Crap, my conscience has been successfully damaged.

But judging by her reaction, she must know perfectly well the
power of the lie detector and has deliberately crafted
responses that wouldn’t trigger it.

All is well, believe in yourself.

According to my highly alert NEET-sense, I believe she has

a dark side—even though it hasn’t been confirmed yet.

“I will ask this again. What did you do with the bodies of the
adventurers? Did you absorb them? Yes, or no?”

The saddened tranquility princess answered in a lonely

voice,

“Yes, they did become my food. They’ve become a part of

me… They will live on inside my body. I’ll never forget
them… Are you satisfied now?”

The tranquility princess shot me a glare.

Under this mood, I’m somehow feeling more and more

antagonized.

“Kazuma, you’re a villain after all. What happened to your

humanity!? Tell me where you left it so I can go fetch it for
you! Same deal as when you had your memory erased; did
you even forget how to be civilized!?”

“Kazuma, not sure if I should criticize your way of speaking

or form of questioning… She did stop Aqua from touching
her roots earlier, so she definitely absorbed those people
unintentionally.”

Ah, so they won’t accept it, huh.

I, however, have gotten a clear grasp of the situation from

her answer.

She is indeed acting in spite of her guilt.

Thoroughly understanding the mechanics of the magic item,

she searches for white lies that exaggerate her kindness.
“…Look, I have a request for you all. Could I have some
alone time with her?”

I requested to talk one-on-one with the tranquility princess.

“As a fiendish, heartless NEET, why would you want alone

time with the innocent and pure tranquility princess!?”

“Could you be planning to pull off what you had done to the
tranquility girl at the Crimson Demon village? Killing her off
while we’re gone to victoriously inform us that she’s dead?”

“Am I that incredible? I will not chop her down while you’re
away. See? The magic item agrees.”

Accepting the magic item’s silent confirmation for now,

Megumin and Aqua left.

“Kazuma, I know that it is our duty as adventurers to

eliminate monsters—a necessary one at that. But please,
don’t push yourself too hard and dig your own grave!”

Darkness was still mistaken in strange ways. On the upside,

they finally left.

I asked the tranquility princess as I watched their backs.

“So, be honest now. I know your true form. No need to play

dumb, just tell the truth.”

In response, the tranquility princess said—

“…Man, isn’t it exhausting to live with paranoia?”

She’s a monster, a creature blatantly unrelated to humans;
yet she started talking about my life.

Part 5
“Showing your true self at last? Little plant lecturing a
human?”

“What a narrow-minded man. No wonder you’re a virgin.”

“Hey, I’m not okay with being called a virgin by a plant.

Where does a monster learn vocabulary like that? Which
adventurer taught you?”

“Living so long this way makes you wise… What about you?
Which of those three shall you mate with?”

The hell is this thing saying.

“See that’s why I hate monsters; no manners whatsoever.

Plus, they’re all friends, don’t look at us through such an
indecent lens. Don’t tempt me to uproot you entirely.”

Facing my threat, the tranquility princess smiled placidly—

“Your friends would charge in if you were to do that. Do you

not even mind hurting their affinity levels? Besides, stop
making excuses; male humans should be in heat all year
round, shouldn’t they?”

“What male humans; what breeding; what heat!? Change

your vocabulary already! Us humans employ a graceful and
patient approach to the subject matter. Humans are intricate
creatures—worlds apart from you monsters.”

The tranquility princess cocked her head.

“Well, weren’t you staring at these when we first met?”

Saying that, she cupped her ripe, plump and barely fabric-
covered fruits.

“That’s instinctual for male humans. Just like how you plants
photosynthesize and release seeds carelessly during spring
—it’s a reflexive process.”

“Putting aside photosynthesis, the way in which we

reproduce has much more finesse than just crudely
spreading seeds. Don’t compare me to the uncivil, inferior
regular plants that reproduce without control. We tranquility
monsters spread by convincing humans to transport our
saplings faraway for us. I was once rooted elsewhere, and
requested a human to bring me someplace where monsters
and adventurers are both weak. Thus, I settled here.”

She was tougher than I imagined.

“In addition, unlike you constantly breeding humans and

goblins, we germinate once every century. Unlike your
mindless multiplication, we seek harmony and balance with
nature.”

“Don’t drag us down to the same level as goblins! Now that

you mention it, life as a plant is sure hard.”

Besides, how often does one encounter a monster as

environmentally friendly as you?

“…so, you’ve found my true self, very well. What will you do
about it?”

In stark contrast to a moment prior, the now alert tranquility

princess looked at me with a villainous gaze.

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m an adventurer and you’re a monster.

We’re blatantly enemies and not compatible whatsoever.”

The tranquility princess then answered,

“What in the world did I do wrong? Everyone who came here

did so on their own accord! They’d much rather have me
send them off to meet their Gods than die alone! It’s only fair
that I feed off their bodies in exchange. The adventurers
passed away without pain, without loneliness; it’s a blessing!
I, in turn, also live a wonderful life having quality nutrients at
my disposal. Why are you so ticked off by this positive cycle
of mutual benefit? What a faux-humanitarian!”

This bastard is really troublesome.

Nothing gets worse than a Dunning-Kruger effect-stricken
monster.

<TL
note: https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_e

“Did you think dropping your shell would make you any less
a scorpion? I’ve come to kill you. According to the
Adventurer’s Guild, because you’ve converted this forest to
a suicide paradise, their reputation took a hit. To prevent
more people from seeking their doom here, they’re putting
up an eye-catching warning sign at the entrance.”

“Hold on a second, don’t jump to conclusions yet. All aside,

you do know that you can’t harm me, right?”

The tranquility princess smiled viciously.

What does she mean I can’t harm her?

“I’ve rooted here since nearly a hundred years ago. Do you

honestly believe that no one before has found my true self
during all this time? Do you know what became of them?”

That statement made me regret shooing away the others.

I forgot how strong she was as a monster.

Besides, the tranquility girl’s home was near the Crimson

Demon village, amid remarkably powerful monsters.

Having come out on top in an environment where survival is

for the fittest, she was surely no weakling.
As I reached for the sword on my waist.

“Oh, chill out there. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t planning to

assassinate you in the dark. Rather, it was supposed to be
an incentive for you.”

The tranquility princess pointed at the earth below.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Dig down. You’ll find valuable things in there.”

It suddenly struck me.

The tranquility princess consumes the bodies of adventurers

for nutrients.

But where would their equipment and cash end up?

The answer is: under her body.

In other words,

“Aren’t you a little too human-esque? Even trying bribery.”

“Isn’t it nonetheless a good trade for both? You’d get the

money, and I’ll be spared. Guess this is a win-win. As I’ve
said, we aim to live in harmony with nature.”

So, she’s been accumulating money ahead of time for

situations like this?

How depraved. What does she want, as a monster who

saves up for bribing in the nick of time to avoid being killed
by humans?

Although…

“You’ve found the wrong guy. Name’s Kazuma, Satou

Kazuma; the adventurer from Axel who has exterminated
numerous Demon Generals. Please don’t put me on their
level, alright? My excellence so far has earned me more
than enough money.”

Saying that, I put down my backpack. The tranquility

princess was finally intimidated.

“Hey, hey, hold it, calm down. I understand now that you’re a
strong man not prone to greed or lust. No, I frankly
underestimated you. You’re the cleverest adventurer I’ve
met thus far; a real adventurer with admirable virtue.”

I paused at such a compliment.

“Trying to butter me up after your bribery failed, huh. It’s a

shame, for as someone who has showed off his skills plenty
of times, I’m no longer swayed by such meager
compliments. After all, just recently, I’ve been making the
maids in the city list out at least 10 good points about me on
a daily basis.”

“What in the world is wrong with you!? Even as a monster I

find you insane.”

Right after the confused tranquility princess had fully

processed my message,

“…Hey, what’s that? Wait a second, what are you doing?”

Her face turned green when she saw what I was taking from
my backpack.

That said, calling a plant’s face green just now was rather
awkward imagery. I decided to ignore my ironic mental
description and focus on what’s currently at hand.

“Behold, herbicide.”

“I get it, let’s pause for a moment and keep chatting. If you
aren’t okay with me living here, go ahead and move me to
someplace in those faraway mountains… Also, please note,
I’m making it clear that I did not encourage humans to
shorten their lifespan; furthermore, I’ve even helped old
adventurers with their toilet businesses. To be honest, much
of the contents from their stories I’ve had to hear countless
of times over and over. My life is filled with hardships, too!
Don’t I deserve at least a little benefit?”

This time she hit quite close to home; I halted.

“How should I go about moving you? Isn’t this big tree a part
of you?”

“My body consists of this whole forest. Since my roots are

everywhere, you only have to dig it all up…”

“How is that possible!? You do know how big this forest is,
right!?”

I uncapped the herbicide bottle by bottle and placed each

one on the ground.

“Okay, I’m begging you, please spare me—take all the

treasures if you want; should you spare me, I’ll remember
you for life—I still recall every adventurer I’ve euthanized so
far. Even those whose lives were cut short can live on within
my memories. I’m willing to treasure even the ones who
aren’t able to lose their virginity; how does that sound? I beg
you, let me live—“

This petty plant has quite the talent in speaking.

Enough, better end it quick and easy.

I stopped listening, picked up a bottle and aimed it at her

trunk.

“Oi, is this a joke? Didn’t you say you wouldn’t harm me?
The lie detecting magic item didn’t ring, did it? Unless you
changed your mind? Isn’t this a bit too suspicious!? You’re
only threatening me, right!?”

“I never said I wouldn’t harm you. Remember how you

cleverly cherrypicked your words? What I said was, ‘I will not
chop her down while you’re away.’ I didn’t chop you down,
did I? I wasn’t lying.”

Hearing this, the tranquility princess seriously started to

panic.
“You gotta be joking, right!? I-I understand, we can talk! I’ll
do anything I can! …Look, for example, I can let you play
with these things you’ve been constantly staring at all you
want!”

The tranquility princess lifted her ample bosom and gave it a

jiggle.

(TP) “Oh please, I couldn’t really help it, could I? Putting the
remains of the dead to use is a type of recycling–an
environmentally friendly process. They’d turn into dust
anyway, so why not let me absorb them?”

The tranquility princess who had been talkative thus far

briefly fell silent.

“…Say, don’t these excite you at least in the slightest?”

“Not at all.”

Jiggling melons do indeed attract my gaze, but aren’t

enough to excite me.

Even though I somewhat lack in morals, I’m still more

civilized than being aroused by plant monsters.
All I need are the succubi.

“Look, why don’t we both speak truthfully? Nobody is

around, see? You still are interested just a little, right?”

Is this what the boss of the most difficult durian quest is like?

More than a little deceptive and persistent. Satou Kazuma,

don’t you falter.

Your opponent is a plant comparable to the sexy radish that

Vanir showed you earlier.

“Siphoning nutrients from the earth is what makes us plants,

just as how your urge to grab boobs is a defining attribute of
males. Why criminalize basic instincts? Monsters are living,
you’re also living! Come on, follow your instincts, let nature
guide your life!”

Follow instincts, follow nature.

As expected of plant monsters, acting all enigmatic about

the natural order.

I abruptly quelled myself when I noticed my hand

unintentionally drifting towards her chest,

“The hell was I doing!? You’re too dangerous; you almost

made me cross the line of humanity!”

Seeing me snap out of it, the tranquility princess realized

that sex appeal has limited effect.

“YAAAAAAGH—!”

She let out a shrill cry that echoed throughout the entire
forest.

Part 6
“What what? The hell happened!? Hey Kazuma, what did
you do!?”

“Kazuma, what are you spraying? Could it be weed killer!?”

Aqua and company rushed back upon hearing the tranquility

princess’ screams.

“You came at just the right time! Help me out here, this
bastard is indeed something shady!”

My victorious expression only earned looks of disapproval.

“What in my own name did you do while we were gone? You

must have exploited that dingalingy magic item, right?
Explain the situation at once!”

“Do as Aqua had said, explain yourself.”

I complied and described the conversation we had. The

tranquility princess then moaned teary-eyed,
“This guy suddenly tried to do unspeakable things to me…!”

“Enough! No more from you!”

I raised the herbicide high to threaten the big-mouthed

tranquility princess.

Darkness tapped my shoulder in confusion.

“Kazuma, this really is difficult to digest. Why don’t you

explain what exactly happened here?”

“She is indeed devious, rambling on and on when we were

alone. Watch. –Say it aloud before the magic item, why don’t
you? Did your attitude make a 180 degree turn while Aqua
and company weren’t present? If your face didn’t flip, go
ahead, and tell it to this thing!”

Interrogated by me with the magic item in hand, the

tranquility princess remained silent and only made
despondent faces.

“Oi, out with that attitude, you’ll worsen their impression of

me! Stop resisting and tell the truth!”

Though I underestimated her.

I forgot that she’s an expert at seducing and degrading

humans.

The tranquility princess did not answer, but instead played

her greatest trump card.
“This gentleman had always been strongly interested in my
chest area…”

“What are you talking about all of the sudden…”

The tranquility princess’ killer testimony made the trio stare

intently at what I’m holding.

The magic item did not ring. The air around us chilled to
absolute zero.

“You’ve got some skill! That was honestly unexpected.

Although, I’m also experienced at using this magic item to
my advantage. Everyone, watch this: this tranquility
princess, right here, fell utterly indecent when you guys had
left, spewing obscene remarks constantly. It was truly hard
to watch!”

The lie-detecting magic item stayed silent once again.

Aqua and company are absolutely befuddled.

“I-I do admit that my language was unbecoming; however,

please allow me to explain!”

The detector still did not ring. The girls acted as if saying
“what in the world did you two talk about” and kept their
distance.

They’re starting to question who’s more trustworthy.

Sensing that she’s in danger, the tranquility princess busted

her killer move.
“Y-you; weren’t you poised to cop my breasts a while ago!?”

No dings.

“Because you told me to! You were the one who let me
squeeze them to my heart’s content in exchange for sparing
you!”

“I didn’t say it so lewdly, don’t put words in my mouth!”

The magic item still made no noise. The gazes from the trio
felt increasingly judgemental.

“Damn, what a waste of time! Talking to you is fruitless, I

should have taken action immediately! That’s the treatment
you deserve! Taste my weed killer!”

I picked up the herbicide beside me and sprayed it around

the tranquility princess’ roots.

“S-stop it! What a despicable move against an immobile

monster! It’s so low of you to resort to brute force after losing
the verbal battle!”

“You’re too noisy, a mere monster is in no place to talk

reason! Hey, are you trying to resist? Take it in or I’ll shoot
you!”

The tranquility princess clutched my arm in fierce protest to

prevent me from spraying any more herbicide.

“Stop right now! Don’t be ridiculous! Stop putting such dirty

stuff on me! I’m getting polluted! Save me, I-I’m being
polluted by all this fluid on my nether regions…”

“How could you make everything sound so obscene? I’m

merely spraying weed killer near your base!”

I kept spraying more herbicide as we bickered.

The chemical came into effect quicker than expected,

because…

“—Terrible sign; I feel like vomiting yet I couldn’t—nor do I

have the required internal organs to do so—nonetheless, I’m
feeling extremely sick…”

Having absorbed the herbicide, the tranquility princess

rapidly became dazed and fell limp.

Much like a drunkard, her face turned green and her body
swayed uncontrollably.

“Great, here’s your chance; you girls, help me spray more

herbicide!”

I turned around excitedly only to find everyone staring back

blankly.

“D-don’t look at me that way; I was right, see? While she

didn’t lie, she didn’t tell the truth either. Even I’m not low
enough to be attracted by the bosom of a monster.”

Ding.
The gazes from those three became unbearable.

“Ohohohoho…”

Even though she was ill, the tranquility princess giggled

triumphantly.

“Watch, little adventurer, as you are called by the shameful

title of ‘monster-con’ for life! Spraying such disgusting stuff
on me, you’ll go to hell for that, petty virgin!”

She started to spew curses nonstop. That’s pretty much the

true personality of the tranquility princess.

“Says the one getting drunk off weed killer! If I’m going to
hell, you’re coming with me!”

Blood boiling, I again approached her with the bottle in hand.

The tranquility princess tossed out her last shred of dignity
and began throwing insults manically.

“Again, turning to physical assault when you know you’re

losing! Can’t you spell ‘shame’!? Did you finally erupt out of
humiliation!? A while ago, you even claimed to be a
professional adventurer; how embarrassing, a professional
adventurer who’s still a virgin! Being a virgin despite having
three females around you, are you sexually defective or
what? You even called them friends; well guess what, you
might very well be the only one who thinks that way. They
probably are comfortable with you yet possibly too close to
be ‘just friends’…”
Before the tranquility princess could say any more, I sprayed
herbicide around her as rapidly possible.

“So disgusting! So…disgusting…! Damn this petty virgin! My

roots span across the entire forest! Removing me entirely
would take decades! Do you hope to eliminate me in your
lifetime? Fine! Even though it’ll be way more trouble than
what the treasures are worth, you can go ahead and dig as
you wish!”

Even at the brink of death, the tranquility princess persisted

to leave scars on my heart.

Part 7
“—Kazuma-san, you’ve worked hard. Thank you for
subjugating the tranquility princess!”

“That really was deathly exhausting, took too much effort!”

We reported back to the onee-san as soon as we returned

to Axel.

“The tranquility princess is so scary, I’m not going anywhere

near her forest…”

Beside me, Aqua had been sobbing the whole way.

After showing her true form, the tranquility princess went

berserk and caused much collateral damage.
“Say, Kazuma… Am I really that insignificant? Do people
really not care about me? A lot of things make sense when
she puts it that way… Aqua and Megumin both had their
chances to shine yesterday; and today, you single-handedly
defeated the tranquility princess. Is she really right about me
being useless? According to her, I might as well be a snail
made of adamantite; is that really true?”

Darkness is more depressed than ever. It seems that the

verbal massacre did a number on her—she couldn’t even
walk straight.

“Waga na wa Megumin, the number one genius of the

Crimson Demon Clan and the apex archwizard in all of Axel.
It’s all fine; I’m unmatched; It’s not like I’m bottom-rung in the
clan. Words of a monster mean nothing to me, including the
‘you call yourself a resilient lone-wolf when in fact you just
can’t make friends’ part. It’s all fine, I have friends here, I
have my dear friends. It’s all fine, all fine, all fine…”

Megumin had been dropping flags non-stop, too. She seems

to be more scarred by the tranquility princess than I thought.

<TL note: Flags are a troupe for foreshadowing very

predictable secrets. Eg. “Nothing can go wrong” means
“something will definitely go wrong). In this case, Megumin’s
denial is blatantly the “I’m fine but not actually” troupe.”>

“I knew Satou-san could do it for sure! That was none other

than the tranquility princess! The tranquility princess that
many adventurers had given up subjugating! Because a
number of people had claimed that the tranquility princess
was harmless, the bounty is very small… however, having a
monster close to the city still had a large impact on the
guild’s image! Furthermore, even though the quest for
Satou-san had only been reconnaissance, you still went
ahead and subjugated it. We’re truly thankful for this!”

With our self-esteem shredded, we were smiled at brilliantly

by the onee-san.

Komekko also gazed at us respectfully from beside her.

…Then I remembered something.

“I only defeated her upper portion, please also remove all

the roots under the whole forest without trace. Speaking of
which, why do you trust that I’d be able to defeat the
tranquility princess?”

The onee-san paused a moment at my inquiry.

That’s right, the tranquility princess is immobile; technically,

anyone can destroy her.

It’ll only shred your conscience to do so.

“Could it be because you see me as a man so heartless that

he won’t have moral issues killing even the tranquility
princess?”

The onee-san chose not to answer directly but instead

passed me the bag of rewards.

“Well then, Satou Kazuma-san, you’ve done well this time!

Goodbye Komekko! Come play again tomorrow!”

“Not so fast, I’m not done yet! In addition, I will not be

bringing Komekko again. In fact, starting tomorrow, I won’t
be coming either! I’ve grown tired of all this business. Now
that I’ve finished the toughest of the durian quests, you guys
can’t complain anymore!”

Ignoring what I had said all in one breath. The onee-san—

“I’ll be preparing a huge cake tomorrow.”

“I’ll come.”

Tossed aside all subtlety and blatantly baited Komekko with

food.

Part 8
We returned home after finishing our businesses with the
guild. To heal our immense psychological trauma, we went
to take a break.

By the way, Aqua and Darkness went to visit the pen hoping
that playing with Emperor Zell might console them.

“Come here for a second, Komekko. I have something to tell

you.”

While I lazily sprawled on the sofa, Megumin—who seems

to have recovered the quickest—patted her sofa across from
me, gesturing Komekko to go to her.

“I’m not sure what went on, but onee-chan looks angry, so I
don’t wanna.”

“Komekko!”

Komekko felt something with her powerful sixth sense.

Megumin then continued—

“Listen closely. How many times did I tell you to not ask food
from strangers? Both today and the day before. How could
you, a Crimson Demon, be so easily baited by food…?”

Megumin, who had claimed that she ate nothing for days
and begged us for food when we first met, started to lecture
Komekko.

“Back in the village, onee-chan told me to nag anyone I see

for food.”

“Oi.”

I couldn’t help but interject. Megumin evaded my gaze.

“That is that and this is this. In a small community like the

Crimson Demon village, the people we meet are most likely
familiar. In cities like this, however, you should never naively
accept meals from strangers. After all, we don’t know what
they might possibly demand in return.”

“I refuse.”
Komekko answered instantly.

“Komekko! This is not something you can ‘refuse’; what

would you do when everyone knows that you’d obey anyone
who gives you free food? I’m only telling you this because I
know you dumbly follow strangers.”

“Of course I would dumbly follow strangers and let them

feed me.”

Seeing her words bounce right off Komekko, Megumin

repeatedly banged the table in frustration.

“Stop being stupid and listen carefully!”

“Onee-chan is so irritable.”

Megumin instantly stood up and Komekko ran for her life.

“Hold it Komekko, running is no use! Watch as I teach you a

grave lesson today!”

But Komekko had escaped to the kitchen.

With a click, the door was locked from the inside.

“Komekko, get your butt out here at once or else there will
be no dinner for you!”

“I’ll come out when there’s no food left in here.”

So that’s the strategy; she didn’t choose the kitchen

randomly.
“Komekko, stop saying nonsense! We’d have no dinner if
you don’t open the door; we must start cooking now, so
open up… Komekko, what are you eating in there!? Don’t
make rash moves and come out! Or else, I’m tearing this
door down!”

“No need to break the kitchen door for a mere sibling fight.”

Since we’d all have no dinner if Komekko keeps dwelling in

there, I started to help Megumin persuade her.

“However, Kazuma, if we don’t teach her right now, we’d

regret it sooner or later. We can’t afford to be too late.”

Indeed; Axis priestess Cecily had also talked about how

Megumin submissively followed her to church upon
mentioning food when they first met.

“Real convincing from someone who had been corrected

‘too late’ herself.”

“Oi, if you want to fight, I’m all for it!”

“Let’s show ‘em, onii-san!”

“Komekko! Stirring up fights while hiding inside is too

despicable! Come on, get out of there!”

Should this sibling relationship count as good or bad?

…Well, only siblings with a healthy relationship would fight,

right?
“I found a big chocolate in the cabinet!”

Komekko’s gleeful voice came from the kitchen.

Megumin’s expression instantly changed.

“Komekko!? That’s not for eating, I prepared that specifically

for… Komekko, I understand! I won’t be mad, so just come
out! Let’s make up!”

I listened to the healthy siblings’ conversation.

“I’ll come out as soon as I finish this.”

“Komekko—!”

I experienced once again how great imoutos are.

 Chapter 5: Starting Over with the
Adventurers!
Part 1
The next day.

“Komekko! Komekko where are you!?”

I was awoken early in the morning by Megumin’s noisy

shouts and darting around.

“What’s going on at such an hour? What are you screaming

about?”

Ever since that young girl came here, I’d been consciously
getting up earlier.

She’s seemingly still on the mission of reporting her findings

to her parents; therefore, I must not show any signs of
degeneracy.

“Good morning, Kazuma. I’m looking for Komekko. Get a

load of this kid. She probably didn’t even bother waiting for
breakfast and took off after grabbing some food from the
kitchen.”

“How should I put this? Your sister really is a wild one.”

Growing up with a sister who mastered crayfish cuisine, her
becoming this way isn’t hard to imagine.

“I don’t remember bringing up such a wild child either. Who

is she trying to become?”

Though I badly wanted to respond with “who else besides

you?”, I barely managed to keep my mouth glued.

“On the other hand, since she’s never been outside of the
Crimson Demon village, Axel must intrigue her. She should
be back soon if she went to prance around the town.”

“Makes sense. I myself had been overwhelmed by this city

on day one, so I can relate…”

Megumin sighed, still worried.

If anything, at least this city is very secure.

There’s probably not much to worry about even with a little

girl out and about by herself.

So, we went ahead and had breakfast first.

“—Say, Megumin, where did Komekko go? I lost to her last

night, and I was just about to take revenge.”

Said Aqua with a board game under her armpit, like a little
child looking for playmates.
“You lose to even little girls? As an adult, don’t you feel
ashamed at all?”

Aqua had been getting along with Komekko terribly well

lately.

Probably because of their similar mental ages, they appear

highly compatible.

“Don’t be dumb, Kazuma, haven’t you heard of

‘handicapping’? Since she’s a child, I thought, I should be
more merciful. Ultimately, my hubris was the end of me. I
started the game one piece down—the weakest piece,
Adventurer.”

“That’s hardly a handicap.”

Surprisingly, perhaps out of her fondness of children,

Darkness had also clicked well with Komekko over the last
few days. She interjected impatiently.

“Although, since she hasn’t been back for this long, could
she be playing with other kids somewhere or begging for
snacks at the guild again?”

“Possibly. Although, I don’t think she will get along very well
with other kids of her age, so she’s unlikely to be anywhere
besides the guild. After all, didn’t they say something about
preparing a fruit cake for her?”

Running away to the Adventurer’s Guild filled with crude old

men at such an age, this little girl’s future is looking bright
already.

One would expect her to cling tightly to her sister in this

unfamiliar city, yet Komekko shows complete independence
from her onee-chan.

This kid has the potential to surpass Megumin and become

the next scariest character.

“Although, it was all thanks to Komekko’s presence that the

adventurers got the willpower to clear out all the durian
quests. They have the right to invite her over for snacks; it’s
only reasonable.”

As Darkness had said, the completion rate for quests in Axel

hadn’t been in good shape… All in all, the result speaks for
itself.

That said, I have a feeling that after Komekko leaves, the

situation would probably revert to the old state.

“Well then, let’s also head for the guild after we eat.”

Said Megumin restlessly, who on the flipside still hasn’t

gained “independence from her little sister”.

—After arriving at the Adventurer’s Guild, we were greeted

by a puzzling sight.

“Here, try this too, onee-san made this herself.”

We can understand Komekko’s being here.

However, we cannot understand why the onee-sans from

the succubus shop were eagerly feeding her snacks.
“Over here, young lady, also try this.”

“Thank you!”

Komekko is currently tastefully munching down the snacks

she’d received from the onee-sans who have inexplicably
showed up.

I motioned for a familiar onee-san to come closer, and

exchanged under our breaths,

“You’re the onee-san from that shop I frequent, right? But

this is the Adventurer’s Guild! What do you intend to do
here!?”

“Ara! Why, isn’t this our renowned customer? We’ve had our
lesson, of course we know it’s dangerous here…”

As she spoke, the succubus onee-san cast a motherly gaze

upon Komekko, watching her eat.

“We’re not sure why, but we just couldn’t leave her alone.
It’s most likely her unusually high demonic potential. She’ll
certainly become someone highly important… So, if we win
her over early…”

Having heard such strange words uttered nonchalantly, I

couldn’t help but glance over at Komekko.

The succubi’s strongly attentive gazes directed at Komekko

were indeed curious.
What’s with this sense of failure?

I also want talents of an evil demon as opposed to luck or

business.

Meanwhile, Aqua stared motionlessly at the succubi from

behind a pillar.

Actually, Aqua had stirred up a huge mess a while ago when

she had found out about the succubus shop.

My blood boiled when I found out that she had attempted to

bust the succubi. Ever since then, she has refrained from
lashing out, lest she gets on my nerves again.

She might also fear becoming the arch nemesis of all male
adventurers for committing succubus genocide.

All in all, should she cause any trouble this time around…

“So uhm, since Aqua-sama has blessed us with her

presence, we shall take our leave.”

“Customer-san, please keep an eye on Aqua-sama and

Vanir-sama for us! So, Komekko, I guess we’ll see you
later?”

Being especially aware of Aqua’s gaze, the succubi looked

back at Komekko while stealing discreet glances at Aqua as
they reluctantly left the Adventurer’s Guild.

(Darkness) “…Say, Kazuma, what exactly is your

relationship with those people? This is the first time I’ve
seen such pretty women in your friend circle…”

“They are employees of a café run by some beautiful ladies.

Though the dishes are only ordinary, they’re peculiarly
popular, which leaves me baffled. Still, why would they be so
attracted to my little sister?”

Megumin showed confusion as the adventurers bowed to

her still.

“Greetings, Megumin-san.”

“Megumin-san, we’re essentially finished with the quests.

Within the span of the last two days, all the notable missions
have all been dealt with in a rapid succession.”

Said the adventurers, now completely used to calling

Megumin-san by “Megumin-san”.

“Really. Then I need not worry about being forced to take

difficult quests. Everyone’s been working their butts off, and
I’ve been stressing out lately.”

Megumin-san showed a relieved smile.

Komekko then smiled back and said to Megumin-san,

“Onee-chan, the adventurers of this city are so strong!”

“Indeed, indeed. After all, they’re from the city that I live in.”

Upon hearing such conversation, people around us turned

away shyly.
Judging by their attitude, they seem to have enjoyed it quite
a bit.

“The blue-haired onee-san is also very powerful!”

“That’s right. As expected for being my friend. She purified a

spectre that’s been around for a long time. So, while Aqua is
usually dumb like that, I encourage you to see her in a more
positive light.”

Hearing Komekko and Megumin’s discussion, Aqua also

turned completely smug, not a shred of shame on her face.

“And, the onii-san is also powerful!”

“Mhm, he’s nonetheless the leader of our party. There’s no

way he’s not powerful… Although, I still question whether he
was truly ‘victorious’ given the tactics he used…”

Sheesh, is this person trying to rain on my parade of

flawless victory against the tranquility princess?

“…Eh? Uh-um, what about my big moments…?”

“You didn’t have any, did you?”

Feeling hurt, Darkness sulked by herself—

“See, Komekko? My friends are powerful, right? The

adventurers of this city are all very cool, right? When you get
back to the village…be sure to brag about us all.”
As she spoke, Megumin smiled embarrassedly at the
adventurers.

“Say, Kazuma, the tranquility princess was right, wasn’t

she? That I’m no more useful than an adamantite snail?”

“Please stop stressing over losing to a plant, leave it

behind.”

As I consoled the depressed Darkness alone.

“Except onee-chan isn’t powerful.”

Komekko dropped the bomb.

“…K-Komekko, what did you just say? You said that I, your
mighty onee-chan, isn’t powerful?”

Megumin questioned shakily.

The guild instantly went dead silent.

“Mhm, only onee-chan isn’t really powerful.”

“K-Komekko! What’s going on, have you entered the age of

rebellion!? You’ve been learning strange words and have
been disobedient to me lately; you are making your older
sister feel heartbroken, you know!?”
Leaving the teary eyed Megumin behind, Komekko walked
over to the receptionist onee-san.

“I have a request for you, big-breasted onee-san.”

“Komekko, I’d prefer if you don’t call me ‘big-breasted onee-

san’, if you please.”

Having given the receptionist such an incredible nickname,

Komekko went on to say—

“Please give us a quest that can make my not-so-powerful

onee-chan more powerful.”

Who knows whether she’s being considerate for her sister or

what with this suspicious demand.

“Komekko, let’s go home! My true abilities can only show at

the key moments; so normally, I’m pretty lackluster. Let’s go,
I’ll put on an explosion firework show tonight after we get
home.”

Blurted Megumin embarrassedly as she attempted to lead

Komekko away by her hand.

Komekko still gazed pleadingly at the receptionist even as

she was dragged away by her sister.

“Hmm~… To be fair, there aren’t many big quests left. The

remaining quests are mostly giant toad subjugation… After
all, this city isn’t exactly known for its livestock industry; with
toad meat also being delicious, there’s never been a lack of
demand. So, this is the only reliable, always ongoing quest.”

“That will do.”

Komekko answered instantly, leaving her onee-chan

troubled.

“That will do? But giant toads are very weak monsters,
they’re only loved for food…”

“That will do.”

Megumin pulled her to the side as Komekko took quests

irresponsibly.

“Why are you taking quests!? You even accepted a giant

toad subjugation quest which is not hard at all. You chose it
for the toad meat, didn’t you? Well then, onee-chan will let
you witness her true power! Come on, there must still be
some big quests left, right? Bring them on, go big or go
home. Mind you, I’m feeling incredibly competent today; so,
bring whatever you have to me, be it Demon Generals or
dragons!”

Megumin exclaimed excitedly. The onee-san appeared

troubled.

“Be it Demon Generals or dragons…huh? If you put it that

way, we actually do have one durian quest left…”

The onee-san had a mental battle for whether she should

say it aloud.
“Hey, don’t embarrass Megumin-san!”

“That’s right, she clearly said she wanted to do it, is that not
enough?”

“Yeah yeah, they aren’t a hesitant bunch, so what’s with the

hold-up at this point?”

Suddenly, the adventurers around us spoke up.

Hearing them, Megumin turned slightly bashful.

“Like the adventurers said, I already claimed “I’d do it”, so

it’s fine. I’ll destroy any monster Axel can throw at me. Or
are you implying that the monster is stronger than a Demon
General?”

Other adventurers proceeded to boo. In response to

Megumin, the onee-san shook her head.

It’s reasonable. Monsters that show up near a beginner town

shouldn’t be stronger than a Demon General.

“Onee-chan must be very powerful!”

Komekko’s eyes glowed in anticipation for her sister’s

impending moment of glory. Succumbing to her attack, the
onee-san passed the quest to Megumin with a bitter smile.

“Understood. In that case, I shall reserve this final durian

quest for Megumin-san.”

Megumin retrieved the quest and filled the guild hall with her
booming voice.

“Waga na wa Megumin, the elite archwizard of Axel, the

master of Explosion Magic! In any duel, all shall succumb
before the power of my explosions, be it Demon Generals or
dragons!”

“Ooohohohoho!”

“Let’s go, Megumin-san! Let’s go!’

“Oho! Then we shall go lend a hand, too!”

Basking in the cheers of the adventurers, her excited eyes

shining red, Megumin briskly flared up her cloak in a
marvelous pose…

“This final quest…isn’t the subjugation of a single monster,

but a duo consisting of the griffon and the manticore that
have been fighting over territory for ages…”

Hearing the onee-san’s explanation, the guild suddenly fell

silent. Megumin, too, froze solid mid-pose.

Part 2
The griffon and the manticore.

The two pretty overleveled beasts settled near Axel around

two years ago.
The manticore didn’t come into existence naturally but was
instead magically fabricated.

Nobody knows whether it had been set free by some wizard

as a cruel joke, or whether it had escaped from some
secluded ruins on its own.

Nevertheless, the manticore of mysterious origins one day

settled on a mountain near Axel.

Following that, as if clockwork, sightings of a griffon near the

same spot were reported.

When people first encountered the griffon, its wings

appeared heavily wounded and its whole body was in a
disastrous condition.

After seeing how badly wounded it was, the Adventurer’s

Guild declared the region forbidden for entry. By barring
access to the injured griffon, they hoped that it would remain
crippled from lack of medical attention.

Furthermore, they quarantined the area—if they were lucky,

the manticore living in the vicinity would battle it to the
death…

However, the griffon let the guild down big time. It ended up
in a stalemate with its equally entrapped manticore
roommate, threatening even Axel’s suburbs.

The trouble stirred up by one beast was doubled. Ever

since, the guild had been formally requesting their
subjugation; however, to prevent uninformed people from
further escalating the situation, they set the reward very low.
Ultimately, the quest was never taken from the board.

—Currently, we’re on our way with the other adventurers to

the territory of those two monsters.

I followed them half-heartedly at the very back. Aqua then

said,

“Manticore and griffon. Now that you mention it, I do

remember seeing a quest like that before.”

What does this girl have to say now?

(Kazuma) “Don’t you recall? When we were still buried in

debt, we even considered taking this quest.”

Indeed, we were still newbies back then.

Anxious about our economic situation, she brought me the

quest that everyone avoided like the plague.

“Was that a thing? I’m a forgiving and forgetful woman; I

don’t linger over past matters.”

“A cool line like that should’ve been by said by someone

more likeable than you.”

Out of all the durian quests, not even the guild has faith in
the completion of this one.
However, more than a year has gone by since we last
considered this quest.

So, we’re kind of avenging our past selves.

Our circumstances are different now; we were no longer

being dragged around at fate’s mercy.

It is time for me to prove that I’ve emerged as a skillful elite

adventurer after my time as a newbie.

“Still, we’ve come a long way. Back when we were little

ducklings, we couldn’t have dreamed of taking on tasks like
this.”

“Yeah, back then we constantly went on missions just to pay

our debt. I couldn’t even believe myself, but compared to the
leisurely life saturated with wealth we have now, the times
plagued by debt when we had to work our butts off everyday
felt more satisfying…”

Megumin said nostalgically.

“That is called rose-tinted retrospection. Most people tend to

glorify the past.”

While Megumin basked in nostalgia, as a man who had

suffered gravely due to poverty, I prefer to stay far away
from such a life.

“Don’t put it like that, Kazuma. It’s not like I can’t relate with
Megumin at all. We really were newbies back then, being
tortured by all kinds of monsters including giant toads. But in
hindsight, those memories are really…”

As she reminisced the past, Darkness gradually began

blushing bashfully. It looked as if she remembered
something important.

An adventurer next to Darkness then told her,

“Nah, you guys haven’t changed much. Though you did in

fact defeat several Demon Generals and tough monsters,
Aqua-san cried a while ago when a neroid she had chased
into an alley lashed back at her.”

“Oi, didn’t I tell you to not spread stories like this!? Why did
you think I spent my own precious cash to buy ice cream for
you!? That was a bribe for non-disclosure! Since you’ve
broken our contract, you better give me my ice cream back!”

Aqua went nuclear against the adventurer who had exposed

her own ungracefulness.

“I helped you get rid of the neroid; I’ll take the ice cream as a
show of gratitude.”

In response to being utterly humiliated by the adventurer,

Aqua retaliated with “if you ever get hurt and need my
healing magic, you’d have to pay me, too.”

We all used to be shy and asocial, but now gossips with

other adventurers like this are commonplace.
Days in this world are long and busy like this.

Although I don’t quite agree with Megumin and Darkness,

the debt-ridden, chaotic, and constantly busy days might not
have been that bad.

…No, I may have instead come to the realization that this

strange world isn’t that terrible in itself.

I looked down at Axel city from the mountainside. The

expansive, blissful scenery presented ahead emotionally
inspires me.

Ara, after all we’ve been through, who’s to say that I haven’t
fallen in love with this world already?

Just as I pondered with a self-mocking smile…

I noticed a shadow looming overhead.

I swiftly flicked my head to look—

There it is, the razor-toothed head of a beast with colossal

wings.

A gigantic creature with the head of a vulture and the body

of a lion.

Then, the ferocious mystical monster—the griffon—charged

at us.
 Part 3
“The griffon has showed up—!”

Even the courageous adventurers who came in high spirits

wanting to help Megumin beat the hardest quest were
shocked stiff by the very sight of the griffon’s enormity.

“Kazuma! This one’s even bigger than we imagined! With a

beak this fabulous, could it be a relative of Emperor Zell?”

“Would you stop spouting n o n s e n s e! M-Megumin, go

chant your spell! Put the unseen manticore aside and take
care of the griffon first! This thing has top priority!”

“G-g-g-g-got it! Leave it to me!”

And of course, the adventurers weren’t the only ones

shocked stiff.

Megumin began to chant. Hearing her, the adventurers

regained composure and prepared their weapons.

“Alright, I’ll be the meat shield! This will be my big moment; I

must convince Komekko to say that the onee-san in armor is
also very powerful! Even though we’re facing a griffon, it’s by
itself! We have numbers, if we concentrate our will, we’ll
definitely prevail!”

Only Darkness charged forth fearlessly directly towards the

griffon.

As if empowered by her bravery, the adventurers at the front

streamed after her. The mages also each chanted their own
spells.

However, with perfect timing, a shadow thrusted itself

between the griffon-fighting group and us back liners the
moment Darkness charged.

“Ara, that’s no way to be. Although the griffon is incredibly

bothersome, without it, you humans would have invaded this
mountain.”

A creature with a human head, a lion’s body, the tail of a

scorpion with the wings of a bat.

That is the demonic beast that was as disgusting as

Frankenstein’s monster, the manticore.

Darkness and the other warrior adventurers were

sandwiched between the two hideous beasts, isolated. The
sudden cut-off also sent the mages into panic.

Just as Darkness unsheathed her sword at the manticore

saying “I’ll handle this”, the monster merely glanced at her
briefly then…

Took to the air swiftly with a flap of its wings and set course
for—!

“I-it’s headed here! Hey, Megumin, that damn bastard is

coming for you! Stop chanting for now; if we don’t keep our
distance, it’ll wreck us!”

“W-w-w-wait a second, Kazuma! Don’t shake me! The

manticore has high intelligence. It was alerted by the threat
of my dangerous spell, so it raised our priority. A-ah, it’s c-
coming!”

No way, even if we called for help, the adventurers would be

too tied up with distracting the griffon to protect Darkness.

However, I’m not the type to panic!

I pulled out the bow on my back and steadily took aim.

“Eat this! Snipe!”

I quickly charged my bow and launched an arrow at the

manticore.

Then the arrow precisely—!

“…The hell is this?”

The arrow I shot was effortlessly brushed aside mid-air by

the manticore’s tail.

“Megumin—! My arrow was deflected, what now!?”

“It was simply not strong enough! Manticores are high-tier
monsters that shouldn’t be around here! To it, beginner
adventurers’ attacks are only that: an annoyance!”

Shouted Megumin as she restarted her explosion chanting.

I won’t let you interrupt the chanting this time—gah, shit!

“Aha! You sure give the gentleman vibe, little boy! Oi, wanna
see what I can do with this meat whip!?”

“Eh!?”

The manticore said something alarming in every sense, then

whipped out a giant scorpion tail and dove down at me.

To protect Megumin, I stood before her and uttered a spell.

“Create Earth!”

No matter how strong the opponent is, hurting their eyes will
definitely hold them back.

After the manticore is blinded, we’ll only need enough time

for Megumin to finish her chant—

“Leave this to me, Kazuma! Large monsters like manticores

and griffons need magic to fly! What I’m saying is, without
magic, they’ll fall right out of the sky!”

Aqua suddenly said as she jumped out from nowhere.

“Hey wait, nothing good ever comes of anything you do! Just
let me use the blinding combo like usual and…!”

Before I could finish…

“Sacred Break Spell!”

Aqua unleashed a holy ray of light that shot into the air and
struck the manticore.

I guess the manticore did indeed use magic to stay up, like
Aqua had said.

Having lost its flight ability, the manticore diving towards me

obeyed the laws of inertia and—!

“Whooooooooaaaahhhh!?”

“Owowowowowow!”

The falling manticore came crashing down, threatening to

crush me.

Probably from the resistance buff that Aqua casted earlier, I

wasn’t hurt much.

But…

“Not bad, boy! You really are something, if I do say so!”

“Not bad my ass! Same deal with Sylvia; why are hybrid
monsters all like this!?”

The manticore laid on top of me and pinned my arms down

with its front legs…!

“Come on, just try taking a shot from my meat whip…!? Gah,
wh-what’s this now!?”

I activated Drain Touch and started sucking the life force

and mana out of the manticore!

“Anyone, please come save me—! I’m about to lose some

very important things!”

To be specific, my other virginity; but above that, my life!

“!?”

After being sneakily assaulted from behind by the thieves,

the manticore quickly backed off.

Having retreated, the manticore paid no attention to the

thieves but instead stared at me in terror.

My Drain Touch was probably the more surprising attack.

The mages on the other hand had distanced themselves

from the manticore and I, instead focusing their magic on the
griffon.

I don’t have the time to investigate what’s happening on the

other side; but since they’re paying less attention to us,
we’re in a dire situation.
My Drain Touch seemed to be quite effective as the
manticore now appeared cautious. I took this chance and
unsheathed my blade.

However, I have no intentions to take him head-on.

Having the weakest profession, my goal isn’t to engage in

melees but to make time.

“Bring it on, bastard; you’ve been acting weirdly for a while

now. I actually have a phobia for the likes of you! Now,
watch me overcome my fears and tear you up!”

I boasted to enrage it and in turn mess up its concentration.

After all, I have other adventurers nearby aiding me, so as

long as I give them enough time—

“Gah! Another manticore! It’s female, a female manticore!”

“Did she follow along!? Female manticores are stronger!

Let’s take her on!”

The adventurers that were rushing my way all changed

courses for the female manticore after seeing it ambush the
mages at the back.

…………
“Boy, you’ve got some nerve. A duel, is that what you want!?
A duel!? How manly; well, allow me to pierce♂the♂heavens
from your backyard!”

<TL note: same reference as last chapter>

“Spare me! Please spare me!!”

That was blatantly asking for trouble!

“Kazuma, I’m ready! Leave this to me!”

Having finished the incantation, Megumin announced from

behind.

But the manticore is too close for the attack; to blow it up,
we must make room…!

“Don’t waste such a spell on the manticore! The griffon is far

stronger, so leave this cannon fodder be and strike over
there!”

“U-understood! I’ve indeed heard rumors saying that the

griffon’s level is higher!”

I taunted the manticore again. Megumin, while holding her

mana at the tip of her staff, also helped in insulting it.

“Ohh? You dare say I’m weaker even after years of

sustained combat?”
My duty is to buy time.

Right now, defeating either one of the monsters will be

enough to turn the tables…

“Lalatina!”

“Hey, is everything okay!?”

“Lalatina is under heavy assault from the griffon! No, wait,

she appears somewhat happy; she seems very calm and
serene…!”

…or so it would seem. Will our chances really improve?

I’m counting on you, Axel adventurers; weren’t you

supposedly super powerful!?

As if my prayers have been answered, I heard a voice from

afar as I stood deadlocked with the manticore.

“Yes, it’s working! Hey, Kazuma—! We’ll come help as soon

as we get rid of the other manticore!”

Of course, the manticore before me also heard it.

The manticore lost its cool and fell into panic.

“Oi, if you want to save your wife then go ahead. The

archwizard holding her magic behind me is the best in Axel.
Keep fighting here, or go save your wife? The choice is
yours.”

In response, he showed a surprised expression—

“Things aren’t going too well today! I’ll leave you alone.
What I’m saying is, I choose to help my wife…”

Saying that, the manticore quickly turned and dashed off.

The adventurers around the female manticore were

completely helpless against the full-speed charge of the
aforementioned beast and were knocked airborne.

“They got Lalatina!”

Hearing that, I looked at the source and saw the griffon

raising its body with Darkness in its mouth, preparing to take
off.

Darkness, meanwhile, relentlessly hammered at it with her

bare fists having apparently lost her longsword.

But of course, such retaliation has limited effect against the

hard beak…

“Kazuma-san, please do something quick! Darkness is

about to be abducted! This reminds me of how Emperor Zell
caught worms from the yard this morning; Darkness, in her
current state, uncannily resembles a worm that’s about to be
eaten by Emperor Zell!”
“Stop with the negative foreshadowing at this critical
moment; why must you always do unnecessary things!?”

As we spoke, the two manticores broke our encirclement

and made a dash for the griffon, the remaining adventurers
in pursuit.

They may very well be trying to use the griffon to cut the
adventurers off and secure their escape.

Such a strategy is too crafty even for monsters with human

heads.

“Darkness, hang in there! Megumin, get ready to unleash

your spell!”

I pulled my bow back again and aimed for the griffon’s eye.

“Hitting such a big target should be no problem! No tricks up

your sleeve this time!”

I enabled my sniping skill and launched the arrow towards

the griffon’s monstrous eyeball.

It must have been distracted by Darkness’ fierce resistance

and couldn’t react to the incoming arrow in time.

“Eeeeeeeeek!”

With an arrow plunged into its right eye, the griffon

screeched sharply.

Seeing the arrow in the griffon’s eye, Darkness mercilessly

hammered it in.

Likely due to the unbearable pain, the griffon flung away

Darkness who had “you deserved it!” written all over her
face.

“Megumin, go! By the power of the best archwizard in Axel,

blow all three of them asunder!”

Before I could finish, Megumin pointed her staff at the

griffon.

“After we return to Axel, this glorious moment of mine must

be told word for word to my little sister. Waga na wa
Megumin! The elite archwizard of Axel, the master of
Explosion Magic! …Now, have a taste of the ultimate attack
I’ve been holding all this time! E x p l o s i o n—!”

Thus, Megumin unleashed her Explosion Magic.

A fireball of unimaginable proportions burst out from the

mountain range, engulfing the griffon along with the two
manticores passing by it—!

Part 4
“I’m calling quits. Look, Kazuma, I’m declaring a break from
quests.”
After an arduous battle, we completed the subjugation of the
griffon and the manticore.

“Say, Kazuma, I want to ask: did we really improve at all?

We’ve never matured one bit since we formed the party,
have we?”

“Don’t ask me; that’s what I want to know.”

Carrying Megumin, I walked shoulder-to-shoulder with the

battle-scarred Darkness and other adventurers. Together,
we made our way back to Axel.

I stared towards the setting sun at the far end of the street
as I walked. Megumin said from atop my back,

“I want to apologize to Kazuma-san for something… I can

never fathom the idea of returning to the olden days again.”

What did I tell you?

“—Thanks for the work, everyone! Also, congratulations!

With that, every durian quest in the city has been completed!
On behalf of all staff members of the Adventurer’s Guild, I
thank you all sincerely!”

The staff welcomed us as we returned to the guild in

decrepitude.

Seeing this scene, the adventurers who came along to help

all smiled in satisfaction as if they’ve tasted the fruit of their
hard work.

And in the middle of the row of staff members.

The onee-san who seems to have become the icon of our

guild pushed her out.

“So great! Everyone is so great!”

Komekko’s eyes gleamed.

“Yeah, we’re great, aren’t we? It’s because we’re

adventurers of Axel! Although, your big sister is the greatest.
After all, Megumin was the one who killed the griffon and the
manticore en masse!”

The rough-faced man with a warrior spirit laughed openly;

no longer did he add “-san” after “Megumin” but rather
commended from heart.

Hearing the truthful words from the adventurer, Komekko

showed the happiest smile we’ve ever seen to date.

“Onee-chan is the best!”

 Epilogue
Part 1
That night.

After taking our time to do our great deed, we split the

rewards for the griffon quest amongst others, feasted at the
guild and didn’t return until now.

Komekko fell asleep halfway home from being too full, so

Darkness piggybacked her for the remainder of the way.
She’s currently sleeping on Megumin’s bed.

Hiking in addition to the intense battle.

While it was tiring, in the end we enjoyed that rare feeling of

huge accomplishment.

Slipping under the sheets, I was about close my eyes and

embrace that alcohol-fueled good night’s sleep when—

“Kazuma, are you awake? If you are, may I interrupt for a

second?”

Megumin’s voice came from the door.

“I’m still awake; about to sleep, though.”

“No… It took massive effort for me to visit, don’t be so quick
to fall asleep!”

Megumin opened the door and entered as she complained.

I didn’t sit up from the bed but poked only my head out
instead.

“What are you here for this late in the night? Komekko rarely
stays over, are you sure you don’t want to accompany her?
Although I haven’t a clue when your parents will come pick
her up, she can’t stay here forever, can she?”

Though personally I see no problem in letting her live here.

Not that I want to make moves on a loli.

The vivid memories of my time with Iris at the capital are still
on my mind.

Right, Iris told me to write letters to her when I remember

what had happened.

Even if I do head to the guild tomorrow, I’d only find quests

like toad killing. So, I should better write that letter.

As I planned mentally, Megumin started quietly giggling.

“No, um… Actually, Yunyun came to me just a while ago.”

It has indeed been a few days since we last saw that girl;
where did she go?
Funifura and Dodonko also said they couldn’t find her
anywhere; could she really have gone into “hiding”?

“And then? What happened to Yunyun? Did she come to

play with Komekko?”

“Nope. She was here to pass a message from the Crimson

Demon village, that the Demon Army occupying the village
has been successfully repelled.”

What a battleborne race.

As expected of the strongest mage clan, the Crimson Magic

clan.

It’s only been a few days. Couldn’t they reserve their

potential for something more practical?

“Isn’t that good news? Although, that would also mean…”

“That’s right, I heard that my mother will be picking up

Komekko tomorrow.”

Megumin showed a lonely smile.

“All the more reasons you should sleep by her side tonight;
are you sure you would rather be here?”

“It’s fine, no problem. She’s a tough child. Or rather, I’m

afraid I’m the one who gets hurt more if I stayed with her any
longer.”

Speaking of which, this girl really is a bit of a siscon.

Then, Megumin lowered her head.

“Kazuma, thanks for all your help these past few days, I’m
extremely grateful.”

She suddenly thanked me.

“Don’t be such a stranger. Mhm, even though I nearly lost

something precious due to my laziness and degeneracy, it
makes me happy knowing that everything’s like when it
started.”

I smiled wryly as I spoke. Megumin also giggled in return.

“Indeed, the battle we had today felt akin to the ones we

fought long ago… Say, this counts as a sign of growth,
right?”

Darkness had asked the same question on our way back to

the guild; however, I didn’t agree with the phrasing.

Frankly, since I last leveled up, my stats have been rising

even more slowly.

It’s possible that my stats are close to being maxed out—a

reality that I’m not too keen to accept.

There are no cheats here, so it really is no joking matter

when I get stuck with the same stats regardless of my level.

Not understanding my pain and sorrow, Megumin cheerfully

chatted with me instead.
“By the way, do you still remember? That time when we first
met?”

She asked in a strongly sentimental tone.

“Of course I do; you told me a confusing and awkward name

as complete strangers, then abruptly fell to the floor. On top
of that, the next thing to come out of your mouth was
something about not having eaten for three darn days. Who
in the world can forget an experience like that?”

“Oi, how many times do I have to say this: if you have a

problem with my name then tell it to my face.”

Seeing the red glow in Megumin’s eyes as she approached

me, I, too, felt a wave of nostalgia as the memories of this
banter we used to share returned.

It could be that my face did a poor job hiding that thought, or

it could be that Megumin isn’t really mad at me… But she
chuckled. And so did I…

“Kazuma, I actually knew you before then.”

Megumin suddenly said something important like that.

“Perhaps Kazuma and Aqua don’t know about this, but I was
in fact familiar with the two of you before I joined the party.”

“Haw.”

Implying that Aqua and I stood out that much?

“……Let me explain; it’s because of all the fuss you two had
made. Getting in trouble at every turn, raging and crying all
the time. Be it working at the guild vineyard, working at the
grocery; you two managed to get yelled at everywhere. And
that’s how I memorized you two.”

“Oi. So you’re saying that we left basically no good

impressions?”

Megumin then laughed happily.

“However, despite everything, the two of you always

seemed to be enjoying yourselves. That was the real reason
I chose your party; at the time, I was thinking of all the fun I
could also be having if I adventured with you.”

Since she put it that way, I could no longer stay mad.

“Although, if someone told me at the time that ‘I would take a

liking to Kazuma’, there’s not a chance that I would have
believed them either.”

“Huh? Was my first impression that bad? It’s quite hurtful of

you to describe me that way.”

She again giggled happily.

“Kazuma Kazuma,”

“What now? I’m getting very sleepy, so could you stop

bothering me? The alcohol is really taking a toll on my ability
to stay awake.”
In response to my little tantrum, she—

“It’s about time for us to advance our relationship to

somewhere between friends and lovers.”

—flung me a fastball out of the blue.

Part 2
“—Sorry for the trouble Kazuma-san, thanks for taking care
of my daughters.”

“No no no, it was nothing. I should thank your daughter for

taking care of me…”

The next morning.

I got no happy ending after her unilateral declaration;

instead, she plainly bid me goodnight and returned to her
room.

And when we ran into each other this morning, she greeted
me as if nothing had happened.

Even though I understand we shouldn’t be too reckless with

Komekko in the house, what is she playing at by leaving
right after saying something like that?

Thanks to her I got almost no sleep last night.

Their family is truly full of demons; both sisters are demonic.

“When you said ‘thank your daughter for taking care of me’,
in which context did you mean by ‘taking care’? Though I
wouldn’t mind whatever it might mean. After all, my daughter
has reached the age to seek romantic partnership…”

Megumin’s mom Yuiyui-san started saying these strange

things.

For some reason, upon hearing “age to seek romantic

partnership”, Darkness shuddered as she said her farewells
to Komekko at the door.

I guess as a noble, she must be self-conscious about people

possibly thinking that she’s reached the “unwanted age”—if
she doesn’t marry soon.

“Taking care as in while fighting and adventuring; I didn’t

mean anything strange by it.”

“I know, I know; I’ve heard everything from my daughter. I

understand you very well, Kazuma-san. Everything’s fine as
long as you can take the responsibility.”

Hearing such things from Yuiyui, I jerked my head towards

Megumin and shot her a glare; however, she shook her
head panickedly.
Which means… that the “daughter” she spoke of was…

Under the collective gaze of Megumin and I, Komekko took

out her notebook.

It’s that notebook she used to record everything happening

around me…

“The blue-haired onee-san is so great, she punched a ghost

with her bare fists. The armored onee-san is also very great,
she got eaten by a giant bird. Onee-chan’s boyfriend is also
super great, he killed a woman with weed killer. Onee-chan
is also super-duper great, not sure why yet.”

Eh.

What was that last part supposed to mean? Even though

Megumin explained her strengths countless of times to this
young girl, she still doesn’t seem to understand at all.

At this point, Megumin was overwhelmed with sadness and

she fell to the carpet on all fours. Yuiyui then took the
notebook and continued to read.

“Onee-chan isn’t with me tonight, I think she went to her

boyfriend’s room, then when I went to check, I heard her
saying something like being between friends and lovers.”

“Komekko! So you were awake that entire time! How dare

you eavesdrop on me!? When did you start listening in!?”

Megumin abruptly leapt up from the carpet, yelling with a

fully flushed face.

Her mother answered with a gentle smile.

“There’s no need to hide it; as a mother, I’m satisfied so long

as you are happy.”

Megumin once again dropped to the carpet and rolled

around with her head in her arms.

Yuiyui no longer paid attention to her.

“Well, Kazuma-san, we’ll be calling farewell now… On

another note, though I’ve heard rumors about it before, I
didn’t believe your mansion would be this luxurious. With
that, I can now entrust my daughter to you without
reluctance.”

Saying that, Yuiyui started an incantation, which is probably

the teleportation spell.

“Goodbye onii-san, I want to eat frogs again the next time I

visit.”

“Yuiyui, ancestor of mine! Dost thou honestly have no better

topic to discuss during this precious reunion with your
beloved daughter!?”

Megumin asked desperately.

“Hurry up and have a kid.”

It’s hard to imagine something like this being told to a

teenager.

“Hey, mom…!”

Before Megumin could fire back, Yuiyui took Komekko into

her arms…

“Live a great life, all. I’ve already thought of a name for my

grandchild.”

…And like a gust of wind—

“Teleport!”

They disappeared without trace.

“—Good morning! Hey, I’m really craving chicken this

morning…eh? Where did Komekko go?

After sending Yuiyui off.

Because the farewell had been so anticlimactic, we were still

stuck in the mood. And just now, the one who could read
anything but the mood—Aqua—finally got up.

“How much longer were you planning to sleep? Komekko

has already left.”

“Eh!? Why!? Didn’t we agree to go catch neroids together

today?”
Weren’t you crying because of them a while ago?

Neroids are very weak; even children can fight them, so to

say. However, I didn’t think she’d take it literally.

After finally snapping out of it from Aqua’s comment,

Megumin said—

“I’m really sorry for the trouble I brought upon everyone this
time… really sorry for everyone having to deal with my
mother and sister…”

“Come to think of it, wasn’t everything caused by your heroic

posturing before your parents?”

Facing my insult, Megumin awkwardly turned her gaze

away.

“Since I’m happy, I’ll let it slide. We could invite her over
anytime anyway; we’ll have go catch neroids together next
time.”

Said Aqua cheerfully.

“Oi, Kazuma… About what Megumin’s mother said a while

ago…”

After Darkness anxiously fidgeted and struggled to decide

whether she should speak up, she managed to find enough
courage to say it in the end.

We still stood by the door after Komekko had left;

unbelievably, someone knocked on it.
Thinking that Komekko might have left something behind,
we opened the door to find a young girl with blue eyes and
blonde hair.

By her appearance, she should be slightly younger than

Komekko…right?

Her face feels somewhat familiar.

She cautiously looked up at us, then spotted Darkness

beside me.

“Mommy——!”

She then excitedly yelled such a thing before tightly

embracing Darkness—
 Short story: For Iris-sama’s sake
Just how did this come to be?

“Then let’s begin, Dustiness-dono. Even if you are my

opponent… No, it is because you are my opponent that I will
not hold back!”

“Agreed, Shinfornea-dono. Shinfornea of the sword.

Dustiness of the shield. Together we are the two noble
families that have protected this kingdom through the years.
Let us decide which of us is superior here and now!”

We were currently at the capital’s training grounds.

Iris bodyguards and educators, Claire and Darkness, were

currently facing one another with swords in hand.

The person in question, Iris, merely looked on in excitement.

There’s a reason for this, of course.

It all began back when we were all enjoying our afternoon

tea.

After hearing about Iris’ heroics, I had praised her with all my
heart, but—
“—Iris was so incredible back then. No really, it was
amazing! I think my little sister is the strongest in the world!”

“Onii-sama, you seem to only talk like that when it’s about
me, but you shouldn’t forget that this nation is filled with
talented people. In particular, Claire and Lalatina are my
prided retainers.”

Claire and Darkness became bashful upon hearing Iris’

praise.

I’ve heard about Claire’s skill, but I’m more than familiar with
the other’s worthless tendencies.

Perhaps noticing my doubtful gaze, Darkness, whose gaze

floated freely, initiated an unexpected conversation in an
effort to shut me up.

“Even if you say that, I fear that I cannot win against

Kazuma.”

Her hurried flattery was, in a sense, much like hush money.

“Now that you mention it, Kazuma-dono is certainly

someone who would give me a hard time as well. That said,
I would hesitate to call the way he fights as ‘combat’.”

Claire, who had once had her underwear stripped by me,

agreed with a strained laugh.

“Onii-sama, you had a match with Lalatina as well?”

“Mhm, I did. Well, I’m the guy who defeated the hero of the
demon sword, so It’s a given that they would lose to me,
right? There’s nothing for them to be embarrassed about.”

That may have been a bit cocky of me, but Darkness and
Claire remained silent.

“You really are full of mysteries, onii-sama. Your level is not

particularly high and your stats are all so low, but for some
reason you still manage to win in the end. I don’t know
anyone quite as miraculous as you.”

“That’s right. That’s exactly right. Listen Iris, there are a lot of
things in this world which cannot be measured by numbers
alone. What’s truly important is this.” I said, as I thumped a
fist against my chest.

“Pectorals!?”

“The heart.”

I immediately retorted Iris, who was a natural airhead every

once in a while.

“Oh. By the way Onii-sama, who was trickier for you to

handle, Lalatina or Claire?” Iris asked with keen interest.

For her to be curious about this sort of thing, she really was
a militant princess.

“Hmm, if I had to choose, It’d probably be Darkness. All in

all, she’s really tough and has a lot of stamina.
Metaphorically speaking, she’s pretty much a barbarian.”
“Might I suggest a change of wording perhaps? Or would
you prefer to experience my ‘toughness’ firsthand?”

I ignored Darkness, who aggressively clenched her fists.

“As for Claire, she admitted defeat after I stripped her of her
panties so I really can’t say much about her. Either way,
haven’t the two of you already fought before?”

Darkness and Claire turned to glance at one another.

Seeing this, Iris explained.

“Lalatina lives in Axel, so there hasn’t been a chance for

that… But that said, a little part of me does want to see how
the two would fight one another.”

Upon hearing Iris’ wish, her two loyal retainers stood up from
their seats—

“—KIEEEEEEHHH-!”

Claire screamed like a bird in heat or something and struck

Darkness’ armor.

Judging from the scratch on her armor, Darkness seemed to

gain a good idea of Claire’s offensive power. Darkness
abandoned all defense and swung her greatsword with all
her might in a wide arc.

Perhaps out of coincidence, the sword grazed the tip of

Claire’s nose, and her face turned pale.

“Dustiness-dono, do you understand that this is not a

deathmatch but a spar!?”

“And what about it? There’s no need to worry. After all, we

have Aqua who can use ‘Resurrection’ in case something
happens, so don’t hold back! Come at me like you wanted to
kill me! Now, let us continue with all due haste! I look
forward to a much sharper strike than that! Show me the
true strength of the Household of Swords!”

“What has come over you Dustiness-dono!? What has

become of your ever-present reason!?”

The two continued to battle feverishly even amidst their

exchange of words.

“Onii-sama, in your eyes, who do you think is better?”

“You’re asking for my personal opinion? Given my familiarity

with her, I would probably favor Darkness. On second
inspection though, Claire isn’t looking too bad, but in certain
ways, she doesn’t quite measure up to Darkness.”

Maybe she overheard our conversation, I saw a happy smile

trickle onto Darkness’ face.

“Sorry about this, Shinfornea-dono, but it seem like he has

quite a bit of faith in me, so as regrettable as it is, it’s time for
me to stop playing around. Let’s finish this.”
Ignoring Claire’s puzzlement, Darkness threw her sword
aside, postured to take the fight seriously…

“You certainly seem to have a high opinion of Lalatina, Onii-

sama. Is the difference between the two really that great?”
Iris asked as I observed the climax of the desperate battle
between the two.

“First off, Claire is way too slender, if you know what I mean.
By my personal taste, I much prefer Darkness’ figure.
Second, long hair scores high points in my book. No… short
hair isn’t exactly bad either, you know? But in truth,
Darkness has a better body and bigger chest, so it would
only be fair for her to win out in the end.”

“Onii-sama, what are you talking about!? I was talking about

who you thought stronger, not who is more to your taste!”
 Short story: ‘The Strongest
Skill…’
The day we returned to the capital—

“So then, I said this. ‘Before my explosion magic, a dragon is

naught but a lizard…!’ After that, Iris made eye contact with
me as if to tell me that ‘I will concede this prey to you’.”

“Oh my!”

A banquet was held for us after we escorted Iris back to the

castle.

The hot topic at the moment was of course Iris.

To hear about Iris, various nobles and people affiliated with

the castle gathered to attend the banquet.

“In that moment, I thought to myself. ‘Would it not be for the

greater good were I to concede this grand accomplishment
to Iris…?’ While it is certain that my explosion magic can
slay a dragon with ease, my explosion magic is simply far
too powerful. If I were to strike it with my grand magic, there
is no doubt that naught would be left of the dragon’s
valuable corpse.”

The nobles gathered around Megumin, who fluently told the

tale of her gallantry.
“The purpose of our journey was to obtain the wealth
needed to fight against the demon king army. If my
opponent were just a dragon, then I, a crimson magic
clansman, can beat it without breaking a sweat. However, I
ask of you all, would there be any meaning it doing that!?
Having found my answer, I decided that I would only make
my move if Iris were to miss her chance, so I prepared my
magic and patiently looked on.”

“How wonderful!”

“As one would expect of the wise Crimson Magic Clansmen.

The wisdom to be able to consider so many factors in an
instant is truly superb!”

Megumin has been spreading exaggerations for a while

now. If I had to give it a number, I’d say that her stories were
exaggerated nine times over.

In truth, Megumin had been really flustered when the dragon

appeared, but…

“What happened next, Megumin-dono? How was the dragon

defeated? Please continue!”

The nobles who each held a wine glass, who were perhaps
excited due to their drunkenness, passionately prompted
Megumin to continue.

Megumin, who bore a serious expression, nodded in

response.
“’Sacred · Explode’. When Iris shouted that, the entire
mountain was covered in light…! Then before I knew it, the
dragon was dead.” She bluntly explained.

“That’s our Iris-sama! Her talents stand out even amongst

royalty!”

“Would it not be best for Iris-sama herself to personally

embark to slay the demon king?”

“Before that, you would have to convince His Majesty.

Surely you know how much he dotes on Iris?”

“However, is it not because our final trump card, Iris-sama,

is present at the capital that we may send the greater half of
our forces to the frontlines without worry…?”

“That aside, the power is as one would expect of the world’s

strongest skill. The security of Belzerg is practically
guaranteed!”

The attention of the listeners swiftly drifted from Megumin to

Iris.

Megumin, who firmly believed that explosion was the

strongest, showed a displeased expression when she heard
the conversation. Suddenly, a moment of realization seemed
to have overcome her visage.

“’Sacred · Explode’. Doesn’t this name remind you all of

something else?” said Megumin with an expression full of
confidence and triumph.
“What does it remind me of…? The name ’Sacred · Explode’
reminds me that it is a legendary sword skill that only the
most talented of the royal family, armed with the holy sword,
can use,” said one of the nobles as he nodded his head.

“No, wait.”

A different man cried out as if coming to some sort of

realization.

“’Sacred · Explode’… Isn’t the name ‘Explode’ eerily similar

to ‘Explosion’? Perhaps there is some relationship between
them… Ah, probably not huh…”

Embarrassed by what he said, the man tried to pass it of as

a joke.

“That’s it!”

Megumin snappily pointed to the man.

“You sir have some very keen insight. Yes, ’Sacred ·

Explode’ and ‘Explosion’ have pretty similar names, do they
not? Do you all understand what this means?”

“To be honest, I don’t think there’s any special meaning

behind the similar names.”

“Shut up for a moment, Kazuma.”

I was told off by Megumin the moment I butted into the

conversation.
“Allow me to tell everyone this. The magic, ‘Explosion’, is
humanity’s penultimate attack that was devised by a certain
grand magician who devoted his life to opposing the
absolute beings that exceed human knowledge. If a dragon
will meet its end in one strike, then what of demons and
gods? Even such great existences will be damaged by this
magic of unparalleled destruction.”

Hearing that, the audience gulped.

“’Explosion’ and ‘Explode’. One is the ultimate magic, and

the other the ultimate strike. At this point, it would be strange
for you all to fail to see the connection, especially after I
have said so much… Yes, the creator of the ultimate strike
bore reverence towards this ultimate magic and invented
this skill through reference!”

“I-, Is that so?”

“No, but the names are certainly quite similar…”

“Simply put, this skill is a rip-off of ‘Explosion’. Then would it

not be correct to say that the dragon was merely defeated
by a poor-man’s ‘Explosion’?”

“What the heck are you saying?”

“Shut up, Kazuma.”

As I pulled a straight-man act towards Megumin’s

unbelievable statements, the nobles began to discuss this
newfound controversy.
Approaching Megumin—

“Oi, haven’t you thrown everyone into disorder with your

statements? What’s are you going to do if the scholars start
doing intensive research because of this?”

“Do you mean to complain about my conclusion of what the

strongest skill is? To start with, the very fact that Explosion
was even compared to other inferior skills is very irritating. I
don’t think I’ve done anything wrong.”

This is quite defiant of her.

“Remember when we visited the castle a while back? You

got full of yourself and called yourself a grand magician, but
when people pestered you to show some advanced magic,
all you could do was act all flustered. Who knows when that
might happen again? Wait, you didn’t say anything crazy like
that anywhere else did you?”

Megumin abruptly turned her eyes away.

“…N-, Nope, not at all.”

“Oi, don’t tell me… what the heck did you do this time? Was
this in Axel? Or maybe the village? Oh I see, so it is the
village, isn’t it!? Now that I think about it, you sent some
pretty exaggerated letters a while back didn’t you!? So, what
the heck did you tell them this time!?”
–It wasn’t until several days after we returned to Axel that I
learned what Megumin had written.
 Short story: Regarding the
dangers of that skill.
“Kazuma-san, Kazuma-san. What about that fat guy over
there? Try reading what he’s saying.”

After escorting Iris back, we stayed at the castle for several

days.

These few days were filled with consecutive parties

dedicated to Iris’ dragon slaying feat and hospitality for us.

“You mean that noble old man over there? Alright, leave it to
me.”

During these parties, Aqua and I didn’t have anything

particular to do besides eat and drink, so we took to
observing others.

It was then that I paid more attention to a certain skill of

mine.

That being said, I could use my recently-learned lip-reading

skill somehow to entertain myself.

“What’s this…? ‘We are out of mushroom sauce for my

favorite lizard-dragon dish…? If there was that, the meal
would have been perfect…’”
The old man gave the feeling that he was dreaming about
the food.

“I see I see. Hey, isn’t that skill really fun to use? I would
learn it if I still could.”

“You’re not wrong, but let me tell you this. When people are
giggling in your direction, you have to be extra extra careful.
Even if the person you’re using the skill on doesn’t want you
to hear their shit-talking, you’ll be able to read it all in an
instant. Some time ago, I used the skill on some female
adventurers that were smiling towards me, thinking they
were interested in me, and ended up taking some
unexpected damage. That said though, I ended up
confronting them about that. Heck, I persisted until they
gave in and apologized. I even made them continue until I
was satisfied.”

By the way, I also made them tell me ten good things about
myself before I let them off.

“You’re as shady as ever aren’t you? Well, what about those

people over there? Do you see those oji-sans that are about
as shady as you? I don’t know what they’re doing, but given
how they’re gathered near the wall and murmuring about
stuff, I think they’re up to no good. Call it a goddess’ instinct
if you like, but I think they’re making some kind of evil plot!”

Aqua pointed towards a group of two nobles, whom

appeared to be rather unwelcoming, discussing something
off to one side of the room.
“Hmm… interesting. Alright, I’ll give it a try!”

“Hey, I’m pretty sure they’re up to ‘that’ sort of thing! You

know, like stealing the castle maid’s underwear!”

Listening to what Aqua said, I started reading the

conversation.

“‘So, are the rumors true? That Elroad’s prime minister was
a pawn of the demon king army?’ ‘Mhm, there’s no doubting
it. Events will take a turn for worse if our secret dealings with
the prime minister are discovered. If we don’t hurry and
destroy the evidence…’”

Having read the exchange, I quickly surveyed my

surroundings.

It doesn’t seem like anyone else saw or heard any of that. I

should be in the clear.

“What are we going to do, I thought they were just playing a

prank, but it seems that we’ve gotten ourselves into
something bigger again.”

“Hey, I didn’t see or hear anything, but shouldn’t we report

whatever it is to Iris, Darkness, or some other big-wig? Once
we’re done with that we can clean our hands of it.”

I nodded in agreement and accepted Aqua’s suggestion

without another word. Recently, her ability to detect danger
has flourished.
That said, I might be better off sealing this skill for good.

At this rate, I might accidentally come across some national

secret and get ‘erased’ as a result.

Having quickly realized the dangers of this skill, I pledged in

my heart to never use this skill again—

“Hey, look look, over there. Someone is hitting on Darkness

over there.”

“What?”

Aqua pointed towards the V.I.P. seats, where a well-dressed

Darkness was being passionately hit-on by a noble youth.

Irritated for no particular reason, I activated the lip-reading

skill which I had sworn not to use again mere moments ago.

“Kazuma, knowing you, you’ll read what they’re saying,

right? Tell me about it, ok?”

Aqua, who was brimming with curiosity grabbed onto my

shoulders and shook me around.

“Alright, listen in. Here’s what that guy is saying. ‘It sure has
been a while, Lalatina-sama. Ooh what is this! Since we last
met, you have become magnificently beautiful! Your looks
lead me astray! You are… yes, you are as beguiling as a
death ambrosia blossoming deep in the mountains…’ Sorry,
I can’t do this anymore, it’s too embarrassing. That said, I
don’t know what a death ambrosia is, but is that really a
compliment?”

“That guy said that in a serious manner? Hey, then what

about Darkness? What did she say?”

“‘What are you saying, Count Befrantz? I heard that you had
taken personally to the battlefield the other day and that you
have worked up your courage for the moment. You are…
yes, you are as courageous greater king goblin….’”

“Kazuma-san Kazuma-san. This is a personal request from

me, but hearing you talking like a girl creeps me out, so you
can stop now, alright?”

This is embarrassing for me, so could you not shut me down

so calmly?

“Anyway, I understand the general gist of how lip reading

works. Hey Kazuma, I’m going to try to read what they’re
saying, so give me the correct answer once I’m done okay?”
Aqua loudly announced.

The surrounding people turned to look at Aqua.

As they all knew that Aqua was an excellent performer, they

looked towards her with brimming expectations.

Well, lip-reading is sort-of like a performance skill, so she

might be unexpectedly good at it. I then started reading what
Darkness and the youth were saying.

‘By the way, Dustiness-sama, would you mind if we discuss

a potential engagement?’

“By the may, Dustiness-sama, would you mind if we discuss

a potential engorgement?”

Almost, but not quite.

Hearing ‘Dustiness-sama’ mentioned, the surrounding

onlookers seemed to understand what Aqua was doing.

‘Count Befrantz, House Dustiness shall politely decline your

proposal…’

“See-through Pantsu-loving Dustiness shall wifely…”

“Alright, people are looking so stop! Don’t start weird rumors

about Darkness again!”

The day after. It turns out that my hurried efforts to stop her
were for naught. Darkness’ home had received a colorful
variety of odd presents at once, and a troubled Darkness,
who was suddenly the receiving end of a mysterious case of
sexual harassment, soon came to consult with me—