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Leadership and Self-Deception - Diagrams - 20181023

The document discusses observing other passengers on public transportation and reading a newspaper or book. It does not provide much detail about the content of the document.

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Phanniswer Ch
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1K views31 pages

Leadership and Self-Deception - Diagrams - 20181023

The document discusses observing other passengers on public transportation and reading a newspaper or book. It does not provide much detail about the content of the document.

Uploaded by

Phanniswer Ch
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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• Observing other passengers

• Reading the paper

OUT OF THE: 80)( IN THE aox


I see myself and others I see myself and others
more or less as we are- in a systematically
as People distorted way-others
are mere Objects
''SELF-BETRAYAL"

1. An act contrary to what I feel I should do for another


is called an act of "se lf-betrayal."
SENSE
Get up and tend to David so Nancy can sleep
i
CHOICE ➔ Honor it

t
Betray it
"Self-betrayal"
SENSE
Get up and tend to David so Nancy can sleep
i
CHOICE ➔ Honor it

t
Betray it
"Self-betraya I"

t
HOW I STARTED HOW I STARTED
TO SEE MYSELF TO SEE NANCY

• Victim • Lazy
• Hardworking • Inconsiderate
• Important • Unappreciative
• Fair • Insensitive
• Sensitive • Faker
• Good dad • Lousy mom
• Good husband • Lousy wife
''S~LF-8£TRAYALH

1. An act contrary to what I feel I should do for another


is called an act of "self-betrayal."

2. When I betray myself, I begin to see the world in a


way that justifies my self-betrayal.
"S~LF-BETRA YALH

1. An act contrary to what I feel I should do for another


is called an act of "self-betrayal."

2. When I betray myself, I begin to see the world in a


way that justifies my self-betrayal.

3. When I see the world in a self-justifying way, my view


of reality becomes distorted.
''S~LF-8£TRAYALH

1. An act contrary to what I feel I should do for another


is called an act of "self-betrayal."

2. When I betray myself, I begin to see the world in a


way that justifies my self-betrayal.

3. When I see the world in a self-justifying way, my view


of reality becomes distorted.

4. So-when I betray myself, I enter the box.


SENSE
Get up and tend to David so Nancy can sleep
i
CHOICE ➔ Honor it

t
Betray it
"Self-betraya I"

i
When I betray myself.
HOW I STARTED HOW I STARTED I enter the box-I
TO SEE MYSELF TO SEE NANCY become self-deceived

• Victim • Lazy
• Hardworking • Inconsiderate
1. Inflate others' faults
• Important • Unappreciative 2. Inflate own virtue
• Fair • Insensitive 3. Inflate the value of
• Sensitive • Faker things that justify my
• Good dad • Lousy mom self-betrayal
• Good husband • Lousy wife 4. Blame
"S~LF-BETRA YALH

1. An act contrary to what I feel I should do for another


is called an act of "self-betrayal."

2. When I betray myself, I begin to see the world in a


way that justifies my self-betrayal.

3. When I see the world in a self-justifying way, my view


of reality becomes distorted.

4. So-when I betray myself, I enter the box.

S'. Over time, certain boxes become characteristic of me,


and I carry them with me.
0 0

w BLAME
i?
''S~LF-BETRAYALH

1. An act contrary to what I feel I should do for another


is called an act of "self-betrayal."

2. When I betray myself, I begin to see the world in a


way that justifies my self-betrayal.

3. When I see the world in a self-justifying way, my view


of reality becomes distorted.
4. So-when I betray myself, I enter the box.

S'. Over time, certain boxes become characteristic of me,


and I carry them with me.

6. By being in the box, I provoke others to be in the box.


KATE BRYAN

WHAT I SEE WHAT HE DOES


• Irresponsible < • Gets home late
• Troublemaker
• Disrespectful
KATE BRYAN

WHAT I DO WHAT HE SEES


• Discipline harshly • Dictatoria I
➔
• Criticize • Unloving
• Hover over shoulder • Nosey

WHAT I SEE WHAT HE DOES


• Irresponsible < • Gets home late
• Troublemaker
• Disrespectful
''SfLF-8£TRAYAL"

1. An act contrary to what I feel I should do for another


is called an act of "self-betrayal."

2. When I betray myself, I begin to see the world in a


way that justifies my self-betrayal.

3. When I see the world in a self-justifying way, my view


of reality becomes distorted.

4. So-when I betray myself, I enter the box.

S'. Over time, certain boxes become characteristic of me,


and I carry them with me.

6. By being in the box, I provoke others to be in the box.

7. In the box, we invite mutual mistreatment and


obtain mutual justification. We collude in giving
each other reason to stay in the box.
Lack of commitment
Lack of engagement
Troublemaking
SENSE
Get up and tend to David so Nancy can sleep
i
CHOICE ➔ Honor it

t
Betray it
"Se lf-betraya I"

i
Lack of commitment
HOW I STARTED HOW I STARTED Lack of engagement
TO SEE MYSELF TO SEE NANCY Troublemaking
Conflict
• Victim • Lazy Lack of motivation
• Hardworking • Inconsiderate Stress
• Important • Unappreciative Poor teamwork
• Fair • Insensitive Backbiting/bad attitudes
• Sensitive • Faker Misalignment
• Good dad • Lousy mom Lack of trust
• Good husband • Lousy wife Lack of accountability
Communication problems
WHAT DOESN'T WORK IN THE BOX

1. Trying to change others


WHAT DOESN'T WORK IN THE BOX

1. Trying to change others

2. Doing my best to "cope" with others


WHAT DOESN'T WORK IN THE BOX

1. Trying to change others

2. Doing my best to "cope" with others

3. Leaving
WHAT DOESN'T WORK IN THE BOX

1. Trying to change others

2. Doing my best to "cope" with others

3. Leaving

4. Communicating
WHAT DOESN'T WORK IN THE BOX

1. Trying to change others

2. Doing my best to "cope" with others

3. Leaving

4. Communicating

S'. Implementing new skills or techniques


WHAT DOESN'T WORK IN THE BOX

1. Trying to change others

2. Doing my best to "cope" with others

3. Leaving

4. Communicating

S'. Implementing new skills or techniques

6. Changing my behavior
BUD & kATE' TOM LAURA
BUD & KATE TOM LAURA
SENSE
Do my best to help the company and the
people within it achieve results
i
CHOICE ➔ Honor it

t
Betray it
"Self-betraya I"

t
Lack of commitment
HOW I STARTED HOW I STARTED Lack of engagement
TO SEE MYSELF TO SEE COWORKERS Troublemaking
Conflict
• Victim • Lazy Lack of motivation
• Hardworking • Inconsiderate Stress
• Important • Unappreciative Poor teamwork
• Fair • Insensitive Backbiting/bad attitudes
• Sensitive • Fakers Misalignment
• Good manager • Lousy managers Lack of trust
• Good worker • Lousy workers Lack of accountability
Communication problems
KNOWING THE MATERIAL

• Self-betrayal leads to self-deception and "the box."

• When you're in the box, you can't focus on results.

• Your influence and success will depend on being


out of the box.

• You get out of the box as you cease resisting


other people.
LIVING THE MATERIAL

• Don't try to be perfect. Do try to be better.

• Don't use the vocabulary-"the box," and so


on-with people who don't already know it. Do use
the principles in your own life.

• Don't look for others' boxes. Do look for your own .


• Don't accuse others of being in the box. Do try to
stay out of the box yourself.

• Don't give up on yourself when you discover you've


been in the box. Do keep trying .

• Don't deny that you've been in the box when


you have been. Do apologize ; then just keep
marching forward , trying to be more helpful to
others in the future.

• Don't focus on what others are doing wrong .


Do focus on what you can do right to help.

• Don't worry whether others are helping you .


Do worry whether you are helping others .

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