The Twenty-One-Day

Gratitude Challenge
In his book “Gratitude Works” - Robert A. Emmons, Ph. D., professor at the University of
California at Davis, one of the leading scholars in the Positive Psychology today, co-author of the
most cited scientific article about the benefits outcomes of cultivating Gratitude, presents

The twenty-one-day Gratitude challenge.

This is what he writes:

“Unless we are able to make the practices that I have presented work for us, the discussion
remains purely theoretical, having no noticeable impact on our lives. If you have read this far, then
you are interested in becoming a more grateful person. This final chapter is designed with you in
mind.

The first step in the gratitude challenge is to assess, in a general way, how grateful you are
now. There is no judgment implied in this assessment; it’s simply meant to give you a benchmark
so that you can see how the journaling exercises and other tools I have given you in the previous
chapters can change your attitudes and feelings over the next twenty-one days.

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 HOW GRATEFUL ARE YOU? TEST YOUR GRATITUDE QUOTIENT

1 = strongly disagree

2 = disagree

3 = slightly disagree

4 = neutral

5 = slightly agree

6 = agree

7 = strongly agree

_____ 1. I have so much in life to be thankful for.

_____ 2. If I had to list everything that I felt grateful for, it would be a very long list,

_____ 3. When I look at the world, I don't see much to be grateful for.

_____ 4. I am grateful to a wide variety of people.

_____ 5. As I get older I find myself more able to appreciate the people, events, and situations that
have been part of my life history.

_____ 6. long amounts of time can go by before I feel grateful to something or someone.

_____ 7. I have been richly blessed in my life.

_____ 8. To be honest, it takes an awful lot to make a person like me feel appreciative.

_____ 9. I have a wonderful sense of thanksgiving for life itself.

_____ 10. I often reflect on how much easier my life is because of the efforts of others.

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 How to Calculate Your Score

1. Add up your scores for items 1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 9 and 10.

2. Reverse your scores for items 3,6, and 8. That is, if you scored a 7, give yourself a 1, If you
scored a 6, give yourself a 2, and so on.

3. Add the reversed scores for items 3, 6, and 8 to the total from step 1. This is your total
gratitude quotient score. This number should be between 10 and 70.

How to Interpret Your Score

65-70: Extremely high gratitude. People who score in this range have the ability to see life as
a gift. For you, gratitude is a way of life.

59-64: Very high gratitude. Your life contains frequent expressions of gratitude and you are
able to readily acknowledge how others have helped you. The next twenty-one days will
nevertheless help you recognize and enhance your gratefulness in every area of your life.

53-58: High gratitude. You are above average in gratitude and find it relatively easy to spend
time reflecting on your blessings. You will probably find much to enjoy in the next twenty-one days.

46-52: Average gratitude. You may find it easy being grateful when things are going well in
your life but may have difficulties maintaining a grateful outlook in tough times. You may find good
value in gratitude journaling and the other practices over the next twenty-one days.

40-45: Below average gratitude. You find It challenging to find reasons for gratitude in your
life. Life Is more of a burden than a gift. Perhaps you are just going through a downturn. But if
that's not the case, going through the journaling exercises over the next twenty-one days may
make a difference in the way you see the world and live your life.

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 OVERVIEW OF THE TWENTY-ONE-DAY CHALLENGE

At the heart of the twenty-one-day gratitude challenge is the practice of keeping a gratitude
journal. Your journal will become a permanent record that is a gift to yourself and can inspire you
to a deeper realization that life is a continual invitation to gratitude. In the pages that follow you
will find seven separate sets of exercises, one for each day of the week for the next three weeks.
Over the next twenty-one days, the challenge is that you complete each gratitude exercise three
different times in your journal. Please try them all, even if you discover that some practices
personally work better for you. You'll want to buy a notebook or journal—it doesn't have to be
fancy—in which to record your entries. Be sure to date and label each entry so that its title
matches the one in the exercise; that way you can keep track of your growth and change over
time.

On the first day, you will follow the instructions for “the three blessings exercise”. You will
repeat this exercise on days eight and fifteen. On days two, nine, and sixteen, turn your attention
to “to whom for what”. The exercise for days three, ten, and seventeen asks that you focus on the
gifts that you have received this day. On days four, eleven, and eighteen, you I will select
something positive from your life that will be ending in the relatively near future. The fifth exercise
(days five, twelve, and nineteen) asks you to think about a positive event or experience and how it
might not have occurred in your life. Days six, thirteen, and twenty ask that you compose and
deliver a brief gratitude letter to someone in your life. The final exercise (days seven, fourteen, and
twenty-one) asks you to “remember the bad”. See figure 7.1.

Figure 7.1 Seven Gratitude Practices

Day 1: The Three Blessings

Day 2: To Whom for What

Day 3: The Gifted Self

Day 4: Scarcity

Day 5: Absence of Blessing

Day 6; Gratitude Letter

Day 7: Remember the Bad

As you cycle through the exercises each week, you should make sure each time through that
you vary what you write about. For example, in the gratitude letter, choose three different people
on those three days.
Each day, set aside a period of about ten minutes to write your journal entry that matches
the category for that day. Don't be too rigid. Take as much time as you need. Even when you don't
think you have anything interesting to say, honor that commitment and write something. Becoming
more grateful is a practice. You are likely to find that the exercises become easier as you practice
them more intentionally and deliberately over the next twenty-one days. You will get better at it! If
you need, go back and read the sections of chapters 2 and 3 that are relevant to the assigned
exercise for the day. The suggestions that I have given in these chapters and elsewhere should help
you.
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 Figure 7.2 graphically shows the pattern to follow in your twenty-one-day journey. Your task
is to distribute the entries across the categories so that by the end of the week, you will have
explored all the different prompts to enhance gratitude in your life. This particular chart begins the
week on a Sunday and ends on a Saturday; you can choose your own beginning and ending days.

Week 1 Week 1 Week 1 Week 1 Week 1 Week 1 Week 1

Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
The Three To Whom for The Gifted Self Scarcity Absence of Gratitude Letter Remember
Blessings What Blessing the Bad
Week 2 Week 2 Week 2 Week 2 Week 2 Week 2 Week 2
Day 8 Day 9 Day 10 Day 11 Day 12 Day 13 Day 14
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
The Three To Whom for The Gifted Self Absence of Remember
Blessings What Scarcity Blessing Gratitude Letter the Bad
Week 2 Week 2 Week 2 Week 2 Week 2 Week 2 Week 2
Day 15 Day 16 Day 17 Day 18 Day 19 Day 20 Day 21
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
The Three To Whom for The Gifted Self Scarcity Absence of Gratitude Letter Remember
Blessings What Blessing the Bad

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 THREE BLESSINGS

Days 1, 8, and 15

Spend a few minutes recalling and writing down three good things that happened today for
which you could give other people some credit. Someone complimented you on your appearance, a
colleague helped you make significant progress on a project that had become bogged down, an old
friend whom you had not heard from in years contacted you, These things can be anything that
went well, both the big and the small in your life. They do not have to be spectacular or dramatic, It
is important to write down Why that good thing happened. What enabled the positive event? Why
do you think it happened? What does it mean to you? What can you do to make it happen again?
Did you tell anyone about the good thing?

Write some words down that describe or remind you of the positive experience, then follow
up with some reflection on why that particular experience went well Think of as many reasons as
you can. Then think about a second thing that happened today that went well, write it down, and
reflect why. Then think about a third good thing, write it down, and reflect why. It is very important
for you to write down at least a couple of words on why things went well because it helps you to
again experience the good things that happened during your day. Even if these things are small and
trivial, such as a smile or enjoying a moment of relaxation, they are good things and that is what is
important to focus on. Spend about ten minutes on this exercise.

TO WHOM FOR WHAT?

Days 2, 9, and 16

There is a difference between feeling grateful about something and feeling grateful to
someone. Brother David Steindl-Rast distinguishes between thankfulness and gratefulness.
Thankfulness, for Brother David, is a much more personal experience that occurs when we have
benefited from a specific kindness from another person.2 To say that one is thankful to someone
and grateful for something seems to be the more commonly preferred usage. More significant is
the fact that thanking and thinking are cognates. To thank originally meant to think of a gift and has
come to mean the feeling aroused by these thoughts and their expression in a thankful attitude.

When we thank, we think—namely in terms of giver, gift, and receiver. This exercise is
designed to stimulate a sense of thankfulness.

Many circumstances or events can elicit thankfulness but it is most often a response to a
benefit received from another person or God. In this activity you will focus on those things in your
life that you might be grateful or thankful for and the source or provider of these good things. Who
has provided you with a benefit? Your spouse? A neighbor? Coworker? One of your students? Your
favorite sports team? Think back over the day and write down up to five things for which you are
thankful and who provided this gift or benefit to you. You can use this format:

I am grateful to ________________ for _________________________________________

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 THE GIFTED SELF
Days 3, 10 and 17

In this activity you will focus for a moment on benefits or “gifts’' that you have received in
your life. These gifts could be simple everyday pleasures, people in your life, personal strengths or
talents, moments of natural beauty, or gestures of kindness from others. We might not usually
think about these things as gifts, but that is how I want you to think about them. Slowly repeat the
word gift or a phrase such as I am gifted or I have been gifted several times. Be aware of your
feelings and how you relish and savor this gift in your imagination. Take the time to be aware
especially of the depth of jour gratitude. Contemplate the value of these gifts and then write them
down in your journal.

There is a second part to this exercise. Receiving a gift often ignites a desire to reciprocate.
Ask yourself the question, “In what ways might I give back to others as an appropriate response for
the gratitude I feel?” Be creative. Is there a way that you can pass along the gift to others? Can you
“pay it forward”? Who can you tell about this gift you received? Can you perform a nonrandom act
of kindness? Offer to pay for the person’s coffee behind you in line, toll for the automobile behind
you at the toll plaza, or car behind you in the fast-food drive-thru? Maybe there is an elderly person
in your neighborhood who might need assistance with grocery shopping, errands, or other
household chores. Put some coins in a meter that is about to expire. Help someone who appears to
be lost. Teach a skill to a child. The list is endless. Passing on the gift is the best way to demonstrate
gratitude for it.

LOOKING TO THE FUTURE

Days 4, 11 and 18

As I have discussed, when people believe that a positive life is about to end, they are more
likely to appreciate it more and make more of an effort to capitalize on the remaining time. A sense
of “now or never” can impel us to make the most of every day.

In this exercise, choose an activity, event, experience, or relationship (let's call it x) that may
be ending soon. Keep in mind that you only have a short amount of time left to spend doing x or
being with x. Maybe it’s a job that you have, a class that you are taking, a team that you are on, or a
place where you are living. This chapter of your life will end soon. Try to select an experience in
which you have between one and three months remaining. Given how little time you have left with
x, write about why you are grateful for x.

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 THE ABSENCE OF BLESSING
Days 5, 12 and 19

In gratitude, we think about and affirm the good. But there are many ways to think about
the good things in our lives and each may not have the same power to kindle grateful feelings. For
this exercise, think about how a positive event or experience in your life might never have
happened or might never have been part of your life. You can think of this as the “more by less”
phenomenon. By taking something away in our minds, we become more aware of benefits that
we still have but previously took for granted. Mentally subtracting something good from your life
can make you more grateful for it.

Think of an aspect of your life for which you feel grateful and then write about the ways in
which this might never have happened (e.g., “what would have happened if I had never met my
wife?" as opposed to “I am so grateful to have met my wife”).

THE GRATITUDE LETTER

Days 6, 13 and 20

It is said that feeling gratitude but not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving
it. For various reasons, we often don't express gratitude to those who deserve our thanks. We
assume they know how much we appreciate them. We felt that they were only doing their job, not
realizing that this does not alleviate us of the need to let them know. We planned to but somehow
never got around to it. Too much time has passed and we feel embarrassed by our forgetfulness.

In this activity, remember a time in your life when you were grateful for something that
another person did for you and then write a letter to that person. Was it a teacher, mentor, coach,
close personal friend? It is up to you whether you send the letter or not. In the letter, describe
specifically why you are grateful to this person, how he or she affected your life, and how often you
reflect on his or her efforts. What did he or she do and how does that still affect your life? This
should be someone whom you have never properly taken the time to thank and could be a parent,
teacher, friend, relative, coach, or someone else. You can compose it using whatever medium
(stationary, e-mail, video) that you feel comfortable with. Spend at least ten to fifteen minutes on
this letter. Your letter should be around 250 words. Whether or not you actually send it, imagine
how reading the letter will make the recipient feel.

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 BAD TO GOOD
Days 7, 14 and 21

One strategy for cultivating gratitude is to “remember the bad”. Think of your worst
moments, your sorrows, your losses, and your sadness and then remember. Focus on how you got
through the worst day of your life, the trauma, the trial; you endured the temptation; you survived
the bad relationship; you’re making your way out of the dark. Remember the bad things and then
look to see where you are now.

The seventh daily exercise involves a variation on this strategy. Sometimes even when bad
things happen they can ultimately have positive consequences, things we can now be grateful for.
Choose an experience from your life that was initially unpleasant and unwanted. Try now to focus
on the positive aspects or consequences of this difficult experience. As the result of this event,
what kinds of things do you now feel thankful or grateful for? Has this event benefited you as a
person? How have you grown? Were there personal strengths that grew out of your experience?
How has the event made you better able to meet the challenges of the future? How has the event
put your life into perspective? How has the event helped you appreciate the truly important people
and things in your life? In sum, how can you be thankful for the beneficial consequences that have
resulted from this event? Try to write about three different unpleasant events on days seven,
fourteen, and twenty-one.

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 The Twenty-One-Day Gratitude Challenge

* REFLECTIONS *

Now that you have completed the twenty-one-day challenge, please spend some time
reflecting on the following questions. Write about them in the journal if you wish. Your reactions
are a valuable aspect of this entire experience.

• What have you learned about yourself?

• Which exercise most resonated with you?

• Which exercises were most difficult?

• As you took the challenge, what did you find surprising?

• What obstacles and roadblocks did you encounter over the twenty-one days?

• How did you overcome these obstacles?

• Do you plan to continue journaling? Why or why not?

• Have you found other journaling practices that have sparked gratitude in you?

• Have you shared these practices with anyone?

• Do you believe that you have become a more grateful person?

I would love to receive your feedback on what you found effective and what you did not.
More generally, I would love to hear about what gratitude means to you. Please feel free to contact
me at [email protected] or write to me at the Department of Psychology, University of
California, One Shields Avenue, Davis, CA 95616. Make gratitude work for you!”

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