What Is Social Relationship?

In the previous chapter, we discussed personal relationship among adolescents and identified this
type of relationship as unique to the individual where privacy, intimacy, loyalty, disclosure, and trust
are very important. We discussed how personal relationships can also be very exclusive and
emotionally intense, such as in romantic relationships. Personal relationships are usually present
among family members, close friends, and loves whom one shares intimate information with. In thís
chapter, we will expand the relationships of adolescents to a wider group of people, such as
schoolmates, schoo authorities, neighbors, community acquaintances, fellow me bers of social
organizations, strangers they often meet casuan in social gatherings, and even the small groupings of
friends school usually referred to as cliques, Social relationships tend to be less intimate, with less
self-disclosure involved, but may still be exclusive. and may and certain levels of loyalty as in
fraternities or religious organizations, and to a lesser extent, loosely knitted social clubs like
practitioners of certain specialized professions.
Middle and late adolescents usually find themselves in the company of their peers, usually from the
school or the neighborhood. As they gravitate more toward these groups, the attachment to family as
their primary source of personal development now shifts toward these peer groups. Being able to
create friendships and new attachments is critical in the development of adolescents as they transition
to young adulthood. From high school to college, adolescents mature faster socially, and new lessons
are learned especially on how their social interactions affirm their self-identity, increase their self-
esteem, and develop their capacity to nurture relationships.
Emotional Intelligence author, Daniel Goleman, explained in his book, Social Intelligence: The New
Science of Human Relationships (2006), how our brains are wired to connect with other people, and
how part of the human brain located just above the eyes called the orbitofrontal cortex (OFc) is
connected directly to the three major regions of the brain: the cortex, the amygdala, and the brain
stem. In the previous chapters, we showed how neuroscience plays a key role in the way we
experience and handle emotions, stress, and even the way we are attracted to other people. Likewise,
social intelligence is rooted in this same neurological connection as emotional intelligence. Goleman
pointed out that the OFC provides an immediate Connection between thought, emotions, and
behavior. It immediately calculates our feelings and thoughts about a person and how that other
person feels and thinks about us, and what actions We take after this quick assessment. This
instantaneous analysis determines how we will deal with and how we will handile the person, and
how our actions and behavior stem from this brain.

activity, After the initial assessment that our brain under influence akes the final action that we take
isa deliberate and conscious choice i make, As such, we are always responsible for what we and
think, especially about other people.
Our social relationships, although dictated to ctated to a certain extent by our neural reflexes, are also
affected by other n actory such as social influence. What is social influence and how does this work
in our lives?
An article on Social Influence written by Lisa Rashotte discussed a study conducted by renowned
social psychologists John R. P. French and Bertram Raven in 1959 on the concept of power and how
this is used in social influence. According to Rashotte, the authors defined social influence as things
such as behavior, actions, attitude, concepts, ideas, communications wealth, and other resources that
bring about changes in the beliefs, attitudes, and/or behavior of persons as a result of the action/s of
another person. Rashotte further explored how socil influence is usually conducted through the use of
power whether this was done authoritatively, coercively, suggestively, or by giving rewards. In some
other instances, Rashotte pointed out how social influence happens as a result of interacting with
other people who are perceived to be subject matter experts or of having similar persuasions as the
ones being influenced. She concluded that French and Raven were able to conclude in that study how
leadership and power are closely interlinked.

Varieties or Types of Social Influence

Herbert Kelman, a Harvard psychologist, suggested that there are three varieties of social influence,
namely:
1. Compliance- is when a person seems to agree, and follows what is requested or required of
him or her to do or believe in, but does not necessarily have to really believe or agree it;
2. Identification- is when a person is influenced by someone he or she likes or looks up to, like
a movie star, a social celebrity, or a superhero; and
3. Internalization- is when a person is s able to own a certain belief or act, and is willing to
make it known publiciy and privately.

Social scientists and psychologists identified other types of social social influence as:

 Conformity is a type of social influence that involves a change in behavior, belief, or

thinking to be like others. It is the most common and pervasive form of social influence.
Social psy chology research in conformity tends to distinguish between two varieties:
informational conformity ("internalization" in Kelman's terms) and normative conformity
("compliance in Kelman's terms).

Conformity is very strong particularly among middle and late adolescents. This is
supported by the fact that an adolescent in this age group is most susceptible to a
compelling need to seek approval from others and be accepted by them in order to
become a friend and to belong to a social group. This tendency toward conformity among
adolescents may lead to either positive or negative results, depending on the beliefs,
intentions, and attitudes of the members ofa group and the extent of their influence on an
individual.

Conformity is brought about by peer pres- sure, often imposed on members of a

group to demonstrate some semblance of loyalty, which is often deemed as necessary to
maintain one's relationship with the group. Conformity is one reason why group members
look and behave very similarly with one another such as wearing similar looking clothes
or enjoying the same movies and music genre, and adoring the same celebrities.
  Conversion occurs when an individual whole- heartedly changes his or her original
thinking and beliefs, actions, and attitudes to align with those of the other members of a
group. This also happens in a group when the original beliefs, attitudes, and behavior of
the different members may have influenced each other to evolve into a new set of beliefs,
attitudes, and behavior. Religious con- versions are typical of this type of social influence
where internalization happens to make the new set of beliefs, attitudes, and actions
become one's own.

 Minority influence happens when a bigger number of peo- ple are influenced by a much
smaller number of people and when the minority's way of looking at and doing things are
accepted, This may happen when the minority owns and wields power economically,
politically, and socially; or if the majority are uninvolved and detached from issues.

 Reactance is when there is a willing rejection of a soeis ence being exerted on an

individual or group, This is also u known as anti- or non-conformity. Reactance is is a
reverse reaction to some social influence that is being imposed by a person or a group on
another. For example, who is being prevailed upon by the parents to stay at home during
weekends and help in the house chores may react and develop a non-conforming
behavior of not following his parents. Whether the influence is right or not, non-
conformity is the rejection of such influence.

 Obedience is another form of social influence wherein a son follows what someone tells
him or her to do, altho it may not necessarily reflect the person's set of beliefe o values.
Similar to compliance, obedience usually stems froe either respect or fear of the authority
figure.

 Persuasion is used by one person or group to influence another to change their beliefs,
actions, or attitudes by appealing to reason or emotion.

Much has been written and discussed about leadership and how it impacts
organizations and small groups alike. Even the def- nition of leadership has evolved
through the years. A leader was often typecast as someone who is the head of a group of
people by virtue of having great strength and wisdom, or may have inherited a position of
power even if strength and wisdom were not part of this person's virtues.

Influence plays a major role in leadership. Chester Barnard (1938) defined leadership
as the ability ot a person in position of authority to influence othen to behave in such a
manner that goals are achieve Power is also annexed to leadership as espoused br French
and Raven (1960) who said that a leader may obtain power through various means and
souree such as position, giving rewards, expertise, respect, coercion.

There are several existing theories of leadership:

  Trait Theory. This theory defines leadership based on certain personality traits which are
generally suited for all leaders, such as decisiveness, persistence, high level of self-cont
dence and assertiveness, among others.
 Behavioral Theory. This theory pre theory presupposes that leadership isa learned behavior,
and that leaders are defined according to certain types of behavior they exhibit.
 Participative Theory. The opposite of an autocratic leader, the participative leader involves
other people to make com- mon decisions.
 Situational Theory. This theory assumes that there is no one A style of leadership and that
leadership behavior is based on the factors present in a situation, and usually takes into
consideration how followers behave.
 Transactional Theory. This theory states that leadership involvesa transaction or negotiation
of resources or posi- tion, and usually employs reward and punishment.
 Transformational Theory. This theory involves a vision, which a leader uses to rally support
from followers, and the role of the leader is in motivating others to support the vision and
make it happen.

Authentic Leadership
Other leadership theories currently being explored and researched on are combinations of the
different theories men- tioned earlier. In the book Why Should Anyone Be Led by You?: What It
Takes to Be an Authentic Leader by Rob Goffee and Gareth Jones (2006), the authors lined up three
basic axioms of leader- ship, and these are:
1. Leadership is situational. This means that a leader's behavior and what is required of him
will always be influenced by the situation. It means that a leader is able to assessa situation
quickly, adjust to it, and provide the appropriate and neces- sary action to address it for the
benefit of his followers.

2. Leadership is non-hierarchical. The exercise of leadership is not based on one's position in

an organizational chart alone, but also dependent on other factors such as characteristics,
skills, and even connections.

3. Leadership is relational. Leaders and followers establish a relationship where their interests
are mutualy met. The role of a leader in this relationship can vary from being a visionary to a
cheerleader. Followers in a relationek: h their leaders often desire to belong to a bigger en tity
like expectation of their leader is One who is genuine or authentic. This authenticity is exnr
their and a community, essed in behavioral terms that are communicated effectivel. ctively
and consistently to the followers.
An authentic leader, according to Goffee and Jones to Goffee and Jones (20061 has
the following critical elements present:

They walk their talk. They are consistent in what thes say and what they do, practicing what
they are prearh ing
 They adjust to situations and display adaptability an4 flexibility but consistent with their
values and real TALK THE TALK selves even when they take on different roles durine
YOUWALK THE WALK? different situations.
They have a high level of comfort being themselves even if they come from backgrounds that
are different from the people or situations they deal with. An exam- ple of this is Gat Andres
Bonifacio, who found himself dealing with people from all classes, rich or poor, the
uneducated or the inteligentsia (intellectuals or highly educated people), and felt comfortable
being with them.

Authentic leadership, therefore, is primarily determined by how followers view the

leader; thus, attributing a leader's authen- ticity through the eyes of his or her followers.

Leader-Member Exchange (LMX) Theory

So far, various theories have been presented to denne leadership, its role and its
qualities. There was also a mention that there is no leader without a follower. Another
perspective o leadership casts followership as a defining factor for leadership. St-Hilare, in
her paper discussing the various theories of leader ship, mentioned a theory involving the
dynamics between leader and his or her followers. This was first developed from th
perspective of an original leader-member the Dyad Linkage (VDL) Theory. The VDL theory
was first discusseo ertical eory called the Verti works of Dansereau, Graen, and Haga (1975).
Eventually, in rther progressed into two more theories, and one of which VD the Leader-
Member Exchange (LMX) Theory.

LMX theory states that a leader's effectveness is measured the quality of his
relationship with his followers, and different es of relationships can evolve between leader
and folower in rtain work situation. Results of these types of relationships can vary. Another
tenet of the theory is that there should be an exchange of resources between les that there
should be an ingful and viewed by both r and follower that is mean- parties as fair.
Heroic Leadership
Another example of a popular description of leadership was avnounded in a book
titled Heroic Leadership: Best Practices from 450-Year Old Company That Changed the
World by Chris Lowney. (2003). He referred to the type of leadership that the members of
the Society of Jesus live by. To this religious congregation of men, everyone is a leader and
everyone gets a chance to lead and be leaders in everything they do.

This type of leadership follows four principles that are integrated with one another
and synergistically interacting to reinforce each principle:

1. Self-awareness. We have emphasized the importance of self- 1. awareness, knowing

and understanding fully our strengths and chalenges, our way of looking at things, and
even our emotions and the set of values that we live by. This type of leadership
considers self-awareness as very important to being a leader.
2. Ingenuity. A leader of this type is not stuck in his comfort 2. zone because the world is
constantly changing. Flexibility and openness to new ideas are the hallmark of this kind
of leadership. In the same manner, detachment from sources of pride and pleasure is
also emphasized.

3. Love. A healthy self-concept generates a healthy and p itive attitude when dealing with
other people. who Aftera Spanist 3. you cannot love or respect another person unless
you lov and respect yourself first. What you do not have you Can not share with others.
Effective leaders show their ask respers for their followers. They are not merely people
whe vho low them, but are partners in achieving the results they al desire. People who
are respected, treated well, valued "how ane trusted by another always show their best
as a reso w their best as a response to the genuine caring being received.

4. Heroism. This type of leadership is about motivating and inspiring other people to
reach for higher goals, for bigger 4. and greater things.

In their book, Rob Goffee and Gareth Jones also dis cussed the aspects of
authentic leadership and emphasize the role of the follower as a vital ingredient in the
succes of a leader. According to Goffee and Jones, there are four elements followers
want from a leader:

 Authenticity- the leader is not afraid to show his or her weakness,

reveals his human side without fear, and uses these together with his
strengths to lead others;
 Significance- a leader provides the reason or meaning for followers to
believe in;
 Excitement- a leader provides motivation and inspira- tion to his or
her followers and excites them to pursue their vision; and
 Community- a leader builds a community of followers with whom
they can associate and forge relationships

Unlike some theories that claim everyone can be a leader, Goffee and Jones
reason that leadership is not for everyone Leadership, they theorized, are for those
who want to become leaders and are ready to take on the responsibilities of being one
They concluded that leadership is measured not merely by b results but most
importantly on the way it provides meaning to the leadership cause.
The last theory of leadership and followership that we W wil According to
Simon Sinek (2009), a leader inspires people leader. discuss is about giving meaning
to why followers follow a leaoe gives them something to believe in. Examples of
these types of leaders are Moses, who brought the people of his tribe 0u out of
Egvptian slavery; Martin Luther King, who inspired people with nis speechI Have A
Dream (he id not say, "I Have A Plan"); and of course national heroes, Jose Rizal and
Andres Bonifaciowho inspired our early ancestors to dream of freedom from spanish
colonialism.
 Sinek explains further that the most important question to Arst when leading
others is the reason or purpose why fol- aers are asked to act and behave in a certain
way (the "why" f every leadership). Once the "why" is clearly established, the hnw
(which is the action that will make a vision a reality), and the "what" (the outcomes
or results of the actions) will follow.

To Sinek, the "Why" type of leader is usually the visionary, the one who
believes results can be achieved; the "How" type of leader is the realist who is able to
see how to work outa vision; and the "What" type of leader is the builder who
provides the details on how to get things done.