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Nov 22nd 2018

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Michael Gary
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11 views1 page

Nov 22nd 2018

Uploaded by

Michael Gary
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
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Nov 22nd, 2018

I was lying on the bed, enjoying the evening of Xiao gang, Kaohsiung, trying this app
called podcast in my cellphone. Even though the app existed since I bought that phone
months ago. As I swipe through the selections of podcast, I came across a devotional
podcast named solid joy. Dealing with anxiety lately, I try to look for answer. Desperate for a
remedy for this feeling. Numerous events occurred in the same day and somehow, I was
faced with a wall without any gateway. Negotiation with the professor regarding on
improving my grades sees futile and one of my friend texted me and remind me not to think
too much. Albeit, I truly understand that statement from her and from that day on try to
keep distance from her. She might have thought that I was too annoying that somehow
have reached her limit.
This anxiety of me might be one of the cross that I must carry throughout my life in
this mortal world. I tried my best to grasp the things that I cherished the most, but it seems
that the more I put more effort to it, the more it fades gradually and lost amid in the air. I
wish I could be brought back in time, where I never have to face this situation. My intern
year, where I get to meet my friends from my fellowship.
Deep inside me is desperate for change, to rise and see the things that lay upon.
Subjugate the anxiety of my own. Leaving my hope and trust in the hands of the Almighty.
This really makes me more anxious because I am faced with uncertainty. I was too afraid to
be alone, it makes me look weak and helpless. At one moment, I begin to doubt myself if my
motivation of helping others was only for mere recognition from the society. Being
accepted, as a kind and empathetic individual.
Lord please help me to have a vision in this life that is way more further than the
things that happened right now. Mold me into your heavenly image. I realized that this
emptiness can’t stand no more. Fill my heart oh Lord. Perhaps some people might assume
that I was happy, but you look within me. My mind understands the concept, but it seems
like my heart can’t grasp it. Please lord help me for I am weak.

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