What Is This Module About?

All of us have experienced conflict at one time or another. We may be able to

recognize it easily. But conflict comes in many forms. Sometimes, we may not even
be aware that there is already a conflict. What is important is for us to avoid conflict
even if it can happen anytime. If you can’t avoid conflict, then you must know how to
handle it.
This module will teach you how to deal with conflict in a positive way. It will tell
you what conflict is and assist you in recognizing the type of conflict you are
experiencing. It will also guide you in resolving the conflict you are in.
This module is made up of two lessons:
Lesson 1 — Understanding Conflicts
Lesson 2 — Resolving Conflicts

What Will You Learn From This Module?

After studying this module, you should be able to:

♦ define what conflict is;
♦ identify some benefits of conflict;
♦ describe the different types of conflict;
♦ differentiate how people react to conflicts; and
♦ identify the steps in resolving conflicts.

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 Let’s See What You Already Know

Before you start studying this module, take this simple test first to find out how
much you already know about the topics to be discussed.
Write T if the statement is true and F if it is false. Explain why the statement is
false afterward.
______ 1. Conflicts can bring about certain benefits.
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
______ 2. It is possible to experience conflict within oneself.
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
______ 3. People should remain neutral when conflicts arise.
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
______ 4. The people who are directly involved in the conflict are its
stakeholders.
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
______ 5. Distorted or incomplete information can lead to conflicts.
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
______ 6. It is important to win in any conflict you are involved in.
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
______ 7. It is necessary to evaluate your options when resolving a conflict.
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
______ 8. Try to avoid making an interpretation or a judgment when telling a
story.
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________

Well, how was it? Do you think you fared well? Compare your answers with those
in the Answer Key on page 32 to find out.

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 If all your answers are correct, very good! This shows that you already know
much about the topics in this module. You may still study the module to review what
you already know. Who knows, you might learn a few more things as well.
If you got a low score, don’t feel bad. This shows that this module is for you. It
will help you understand some important concepts that you can apply in your daily
life. If you study this module carefully, you will learn the answers to all the items in
the test and a lot more! Are you ready?
You may go now to the next page to begin Lesson 1.

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 LESSON 1

Understanding Conflicts

Many times, we avoid discussing our differences with others just to get by. We
expect someone to know how we feel and when he/she does not, we either explode in
anger or walk away in despair. We seek new relationships but find ourselves repeating
old habits and getting into already familiar conflicts.
What really is a conflict? Lesson 1 will tell you just that.
After studying this lesson, you should be able to:
♦ define what a conflict is;
♦ identify some benefits of conflicts;
♦ identify the different kinds of conflict; and
♦ differentiate people’s reactions to conflicts.

Let’s Think About This

Are you experiencing any kind of conflict right now? How are you dealing with
it?
Find out more about conflicts. Hopefully, after studying this lesson, you can
better understand the conflict you are currently involved in.

Let’s Learn

Conflicts can take the following forms:

1. A conflict is something perceived or felt as unpleasant. It is something that
causes you anger, upset, guilt or pain.

4
 Example: feeling upset after you had an argument with your friend

2. A conflict arises when something someone does, thinks or says causes you
to become upset.
Example: you find yourself being torn between work and studies

5
 Let’s Think About This

Are conflicts always bad?

Find out by reading on.

Let’s Learn

Conflicts are not always bad. They can even be beneficial at times. Find out how
by reading on.
1. Problem Awareness. When somebody expresses disagreement with your
opinion, conflict arises. Discussing this disagreement makes you and the
other person concerned aware of the problem and therefore alert you to find
a possible solution.
2. Improved Relationships. Presenting the opposing views helps you
understand the issue better. The discussion can also help you come up with
possible solutions that everyone can accept. After resolving the conflict the
relationship between the people involved even improves.

3. Personal Development. Confronting conflicts can teach you how to treat

others well thereby giving you the opportunity to improve yourself.

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 Let’s Study and Analyze

Study the problem below and answer the questions that follow.
Dr. Fred Gonzalez is a successful doctor and family man. He wanted his only
daughter, Lisa, to follow in his footsteps and become a doctor too. But Lisa does not
want to be a doctor. She wants to be a marine biologist. Lisa told her father about her
plans. She also told him why she wants to be a marine biologist. Initially, Dr. Gonzales
disagreed. But he eventually realized that he cannot and should not force Lisa. The
conflict between father and daughter was soon settled.

Answer the question below.

What benefits can the father and daughter gain from the conflict they just had?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

Let’s find out if your ideas are correct.

Because of their conflict, Dr. Gonzales became aware that his daughter does not
want to be a doctor and wants to be a marine biologist instead. The incident also
improved their relationship after they managed to resolve their conflict.
Now that you know what a conflict is. You will now find out what the different
types of conflict are.

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 Let’s Try This

Read and compare the situations below.

1. The elections are near and the members of the Para sa Bayan Organization
are debating on which candidate for mayor to support. Some members want
to support Mr. Fidel Gutierrez while others want to support Mr. Leandro
Megado.
2. Henry and Farah always have arguments about how they should discipline
their children. Henry does not want the children spanked while Farah feels
that a little spanking won’t hurt them.
Differentiate the two conflicts.
In the first situation, a conflict exists within an organization while in the second,
conflict exists between two people. The first situation deals with an intragroup
conflict while the second deals with a person to person conflict.
Read on to find out more about these and the other types of conflict.

Let’s Learn

There are different types of conflict. These are:

1. Inner Conflict. This refers to a conflict within an individual which might
involve values, loyalties or priorities.
Example: wanting to please your barkada by going out with them even if it
will affect your work and family

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2. Person to Person Conflict. This refers to a conflict which involves two
people who are at odds over personality differences, values, loyalties or any
other issue. Have you ever experienced this kind of conflict?
Example: Jerry is very thrifty while Mimi is quite extravagant causing them
to quarrel often about their finances

3. Intragroup Conflict. This refers to a conflict which results when two

groups form and take sides.
Example: when factions form behind two leaders who are competing for a
higher position

4. Person Versus Group Conflict. This type of conflict occurs most often
when a member of a group breaks its rules or norms.
Example: a rebel returnee who is being hunted down by his former
comrades

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 Let’s Try This

Put a 3 in the box corresponding to the statement that best describes the way you
react to conflicts. Check only one statement.
1. I always present my arguments loudly.
2. I am always right so I feel there is no need to listen to the other side of
a story.
3. I always agree to compromises so there will be no problem.
4. I always avoid taking sides.
5. I always voice out my views but I also listen to the other side of a story.

Your answer to the activity above indicates how you deal with conflicts. If you
checked the first item, then you are a “fighter.” If you checked the second item, you
are a “perfectionist.” If you checked the third item, you are a “pacifier.” If you
checked the fourth item, you prefer to remain “neutral.” If you checked the fifth item,
you are considered a “realist.” What do these mean? Let’s find out.

Let’s Learn

Below are some common reactions to conflicts. The code name of each group
best represents the characteristics of the people who fall under that category.

Name Reaction to Conflict Description

Fighters They will go to the wall, raise hell, People who love to fight for
threaten violence. Their position the sake of fighting
may not be correct but they will
present them loudly and forcefully.
They will often win by using
bullying tactics.

Perfectionists They will only hear their own side Those who need to be right
and need to be convinced that the about everything
other side is right before they
change their minds. And if they
lose or agree to a compromise,
they will bear grudges because
they will think they are right
anyway.

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 Name Reaction to Conflict Description
Pacifiers They will pretend everything is Those who will compromise
okay. They will bend over to make things less tense or
backward to make things nice look good
even if it means not truly resolving
the issue. They are dangerous
because they never reveal where
they stand.

Neutrals They will not assert any position Those who never take a
and will avoid confrontations even position on anything
more than the pacifiers. They too
are dangerous because they will
take an internal position but never
express it so completion is
impossible with neutrals.
Realists They view a breakdown as an Those who see life as an
opportunity. They will be strong opportunity to live fully
about their view but will also be
open to hear the other side and
look for breakthroughs when
possible. Realists know that
relationships and positions are
separable and will deal with
conflicts with a view toward
separating the relationship from
the conflicting positions.

Let’s See What You Have Learned

Answer the following questions briefly.

1. Linda just broke up with her boyfriend. She found out that he was having a
relationship with another girl. They had a heated argument. After the breakup,
Linda cried and cried. But she soon realized she will not gain anything from
crying. She decided that she should just move on. What benefit did Linda get
from the conflict she just experienced?
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

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2. Aya earns very little from working as a sewer. She has an unmarried and
jobless brother. Aya stopped studying because her family could not afford to
support her. Now, she is saving her earnings so she can continue studying.
One day, her brother asked her to lend him some money because his
girlfriend was going to give birth soon. Aya was confused. She wanted to lend
her brother some money but at the same time, she wanted to keep her
savings intact since school was opening soon. What type of conflict was Aya
experiencing?
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
3. The officers of the Teresa Homeowners’ Association are trying to decide
whether to continue having the Santacruzan or not. Read how part of their
discussion went.
Councilor Realidad: I believe it will not be good to hold the Santacruzan
this year because we do not have enough funds as
well as the time to prepare. I know many of you may
not share my opinion. I will be open to hear your
views and perhaps we can work something out
together.
Councilor Ubana: It’s stupid not to continue the Santacruzan. I don’t
understand why some of you even came up with that
idea!
Councilor Perfecto: He’s right. I have always believed that we should
continue the Santacruzan. Nobody can dispute that it
has been a tradition ever since. There is definitely
no valid reason for it to be canceled this year.
Councilor Pacifico: I will agree with whatever decision the group will
come up with.
Councilor Nagales: I don’t want to take sides. I can see that each party
has a point.

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 Identify who among the councilors can be considered a fighter, a
perfectionist, a pacifier, neutral or a realist based on his/her statement. Write
your answer in the space provided below.
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

Compare your answers with those in the Answer Key on page 32. Did you get the
correct answers? If you did, very good! If you did not, read the lesson again. I’m sure
you’ll do better this time.

Let’s Remember

♦ A conflict can be:

• something perceived as unpleasant and which causes anger, upset, guilt
or pain; and/or
• something one does, thinks or says which causes him/her to be upset.
♦ Conflicts can make people aware of a problem, improve relationships and
develop one’s personality.
♦ The different types of conflict are inner conflict, person to person,
intragroup conflict and person versus group conflicts.
♦ People can be categorized as fighters, perfectionists, pacifiers, neutrals and
realists when reacting to conflicts.

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 LESSON 2

Resolving Conflicts

Every encounter with someone whose views differ from our own offers the
potential for friction or conflict. Resolving conflicts is not easy. Mishandling
differences can leave emotional scars. It can also divert energy from where it is really
needed. This is why many people walk away from disagreements. The rewards for
handling disagreements well are gratifying. When you succeed in managing a
disagreement constructively, everyone wins. This lesson will teach you the steps in
managing conflicts constructively.
After studying this lesson, you should be able to explain the steps in resolving
conflicts.

Let’s Try This

Answer the questions below briefly. Write your answers in the spaces provided.
1. Describe a conflict you are experiencing at present.
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
2. How can the conflict be resolved?
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
The answers to this activity may vary. Remember your answers because you will
be referring to them in the next activities. In the meantime, look at the steps in
resolving conflicts on the next page.

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 Let’s Learn

The following are the steps in resolving conflicts.

STEP 1: Identify the stakeholders.
The stakeholders are the people involved in a conflict. A stakeholder is
somebody with a direct interest or involvement in the conflict.
Study the situation below.
Mario manages an electrical repair shop. He noticed that Jose, one of his
electricians, brought a television for repair from his house. Jose repaired the
television during work hours which was against the shop’s policy. Mario knows that
Jose is good and competent. When Mario asked why Jose was working on a personal
repair job during work hours, Jose said that he does not have adequate electrical repair
equipment at home and will no longer have the time to repair this television since he
is always at work.

Who do you think the stakeholders in this situation are?

_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________

Jose, Mario and the company are the stakeholders in the situation. Why?
♦ Jose because he committed an offense against the shop’s policies.
♦ Mario because he manages the shop and Jose is under his supervision.
♦ The company because it loses something each time an employee does
something against its policies.

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 Let’s Think About This

In the conflict which you described in the first activity, who are the stakeholders?
Now that you can already identify the stakeholders in a conflict, let’s move on to
the next step.
STEP 2: Identify the real problem.

To effectively assess the conflict, you must be able to find a way of truly seeing
it and not your interpretation of it. Try asking yourself the following questions:
♦ What am I seeing?
♦ Is it really that or is my mind adding its own interpretation?
♦ If I were writing a news report of the person, situation or event that I am
seeing, how would I describe it?
In the personal conflict which you described, ask yourself the questions given
above.
In identifying the real problem, you assess the source/s of conflict. A conflict
can be manifested in many ways. Conflicts can arise because of the following:
♦ distorted or incomplete information;
♦ wrong or incompatible goals;
♦ ineffective or inappropriate methods; and
♦ negative feelings.

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 Let’s Try This

What is Mario and Jose’s real problem?

_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
Let’s find out if your answer is correct.
Jose and Mario have incompatible goals. Jose wants to repair his television in the
shop where he works. Mario, on the other hand, as the shop manager cannot allow this.

Let’s Think About This

In the personal conflict you described in the first activity, what is the source of
the conflict?
Let’s move on to the next step.
STEP 3: Give up a “must win” attitude.
Read the story below.
Linda and Guia are best friends. They both work in a department store. Everybody
was expecting that Guia would become supervisor including Guia herself. Guia told
Linda how excited she was about her upcoming promotion. However, when the
announcement came, Guia was shocked. Linda was the one promoted. The boss
offered Linda the position and she accepted. Guia got mad at Linda for accepting the
position she was aiming for. She swore that she would never talk to Linda again.

17
 Linda approached Guia and told her that the position was just offered to her, that
she did not ask for it. She apologized to Guia and explained that it was just a career
move. But Guia wouldn’t accept it. She wanted to get even with Linda.
How do you think this conflict will be resolved?
The conflict can be resolved if Guia would just agree to talk to Linda. Guia
should give up her “must win” attitude. She should stop thinking about getting even
with Linda. Conflicts are not made to be won, they should be resolved.
A person with a must win attitude always wants to get what he/she wants. And if
he/she cannot get it, he/she blames others which, in turn, causes even bigger conflicts.
Let’s look at another example.
The employees of a company are demanding a P1000-increase in their salaries.
The employees’ union said that they will not work until they are given an increase. On
the other hand, the management issued a statement that they will not grant the
employees’ request. They added that if the employees will not return to work the next
day, they will be considered absent without leave which can be a justifiable reason for
termination.

In the situation above, both the employees’ union and the management are
exhibiting a must win attitude. Both of them do not want to give in to the demands of
the other. They are also not willing to come up with a compromise.

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 Let’s Think About This

How can the conflict between the employees’ union and the management be
resolved?
The only way this can be done is if they compromise.
In the story presented earlier, both Mario and Jose did not exhibit a must win
attitude thus, it was easier to settle the conflict between them.

Let’s Learn

In the conflict you are experiencing at present, do you or the other party have a
must win attitude?
Instead of a must win attitude, what should your attitude be?
STEP 4: Evaluate your options and select the best solution.
To resolve a conflict, do not impose a solution. The basic ground rule is that a
collective view must emerge neither from coercion nor majority vote. Choose the
best workable choice from a variety of possible solutions you have gathered. Often,
the best resolution for any conflict is truly not available. Your only goal should
therefore be to choose the resolution which holds the most for both parties.
A workable solution can help you move forward. It must allow you to move away
from the place of conflict to a place where resolution is possible.
Going through the process of developing more than one possible solution forces
you to think about multiple approaches and increases your chances of arriving at a
resolution. Don’t forget that you are looking for a resolution and not a “win.”
The following is a checklist that can help you evaluate your options:
q Of the possible solutions, which choice fulfills most of my personal
interests?
q Is this solution acceptable to the other party or does it need to be adjusted in
some way to be acceptable to him/her?
q How can the choice be adjusted to become acceptable to the other party?
q If the solution cannot be adjusted, is there any other choice which can still
satisfy my interests but may be more readily acceptable to the other party?
q Have I completely reviewed all the possible choices for workable solutions?
q Have I prepared alternative choices in the event that my first choice or best
solution does not resolve the conflict?
q Am I now prepared to present my first choice to the other party?

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 Let’s Try This

In Mario and Jose’s story, what possible options does Mario have?

_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
Look at the list of possible courses of action for Mario:
1. Mario should tell Jose exactly how he feels and also invite Jose to be frank.
Then Mario can say that he is willing to take the time to work out a mutually
agreeable plan.
2. In a friendly way, Mario can say that he understands Jose. Then he can say
that working on a personal project in the shop may not set a good example to
other employees.
3. Mario should ignore the situation. He can just deal with future problems
with Jose, if any.
4. Mario should offer to let Jose continue using the equipment in the shop for
personal projects but only after work hours, that is, during lunchtime or on
weekends.
5. Mario should simply inform Jose that the shop has a policy against doing
personal projects during workdays.
I’m sure the options above are similar to your answers. If you were Mario, which
of the options would you choose?
Before you even make a choice, remember that you have to weigh the pros and
cons of each option.

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 Let’s Study and Analyze

Write the pros and cons of each of Mario’s options in the spaces provided.
1. Mario should tell Jose exactly how he feels and also invite Jose to be frank
with him. Then Mario can say that he is willing to take the time to work out a
mutually agreeable plan.
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

2. In a friendly way, Mario can say that he understands Jose. Then he can tell
Jose that working on a personal project in the shop may not set a good
example to other employees.
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

3. Mario should ignore the situation. He can just deal with future problems
with Jose, if any.
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

4. Mario should offer to let Jose continue using the equipment in the shop for
personal projects but only after work hours, that is, during lunchtime or on
weekends.
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

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5. Mario should simply inform Jose that the shop has a policy against doing
personal projects during workdays.
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

Let’s find out if you share my ideas on these options. Below are my answers.
1. If Mario tells Jose exactly how he feels and invites him to be frank. Then
Jose will feel respected since Jose will hear his views out then they can both
work on a mutually agreeable plan. But this may be considered a weak
management style on Mario’s part. Mario would appear to fail to take
responsibility for what must be done.
2. If Mario says he understands Jose, then he will be able to smooth out
differences with him without wasting time in a long, fruitless debate. But if
Mario doesn’t hear Jose’s views, this may discourage Jose in the future.
3. If Mario just ignores the situation, the other employees will not bear any
grudges against Jose. But if the other employees find out about the incident,
they may follow Mario’s example that may lead to even bigger problems in
the future.
4. In using this bargaining strategy, Maro can gain Jose’s goodwill by allowing
him to satisfy a personal need at minimal cost to the shop. But Mario may
unknowingly be subjecting the shop to potential liability. If, for example,
Jose hurts himself on a weekend because of lack of supervision, then the
shop may be liable.
5. If Mario simply informs Jose that what he was doing was against company
policies then the issue will be settled. By doing so, irrespective of the
situation, Mario cannot be accused of discrimination or favoritism. But
Mario should do so keeping in mind Jose’s feelings.

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 Let’s Try This

Answer this question: If you were Mario, which option would you choose and
why?
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
There are no right or wrong answers to this question. The idea is to come up with
several options and evaluate them well before making a decision.

Let’s Learn

Now, you are ready to go to the final step in resolving a conflict.

STEP 5: Communicate in a manner certain to be received.

Communication, in this context, means conveying a message to the other party
through verbal, written or other means. In the case of conflict resolution and problem
solving, communication surely takes place. However, it is often filled with anger, lack
of clarity and an unwillingness to move from talk to action.
To effectively communicate, you must effectively listen. You cannot reach an
audience you cannot perceive. Therefore, the art of active listening becomes a key
element in the communication process.
Only when someone feels in his/her heart that his/her message has been received
can he/she listen to your message. It is human nature. You listen to someone else
when you sense he/she has not heard you.
On the other hand, when there is a feeling that you have been truly and completely
heard, you have a sense of completeness which allows you to be open to hearing
someone else.

23
 So, how should you communicate?

First, obtain the attention of the other person. No one can listen properly if
he/she is not attentive. Be certain you have someone’s attention before even
attempting to communicate your feelings or proposals to resolve an issue. How will
you know if the person is listening? Simple! Just ask.
Second, tell your side of the story. Your feelings, position or the facts as you see
them should be conveyed to the other party in a clear and very comprehensible way. If
possible, try to avoid listening your emotions, interpretations or judgments yet in the
way of telling your story.

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 Let’s See What You Have Learned

Read the story below.

Pedring and Martha have been married for five years. One night, after dinner . . .
Pedring: (in an angry voice) I can’t believe it! You waited until now, the last
possible minute, to tell me you’re enrolling in college this coming
semester! Don’t you think you should have at least talked to me first
before making a decision? How come you suddenly have to be in
school?
Martha: We still have a day or two before I have to send in the enrollment
forms.
Pedring: I don’t get it! You haven’t been inside a classroom in five years. Why
is getting a degree suddenly at the top of your priority list? We’re
struggling here, in case you haven’t noticed, and you know we need
your salary . . .
Martha: Look, Pedring, I know how hard you are working and you know how
much I’ve wanted to go back to school. I haven’t enrolled yet. I just
did some checking.
Pedring: Okay, I got it. So, why start now? Hold off for two years and we’ll be
able to afford it.
Martha: The truth is, I’m totally bored at work and I can’t go on like this. For
the first time in years, I feel excited. Just the idea of reading and
studying and getting some intellectual stimulation in my life is a turn
on.

25
 Pedring: The point I’m trying to make is, the longer you wait to go back to
school, the easier it will be for me to pay your tuition. Doesn’t that
make sense?
Martha: Yes, it makes sense. But I want to grow and be challenged. I don’t
want to be stuck in a boring job while my life just passes me by.
Pedring: The bottom line is, we cannot afford to have you go back to school
now. I’m working at least twelve hours a day for our future as it is.
Martha: You know I always wanted to go back to school. I’ve been at the same
dull job since we got married.
Pedring: If you can just hang on for one more year . . .
Martha: How will I know that everything will be better then? I want a life!
Following the steps in resolving conflict, describe how the couple can solve their
problem.
Step 1: Identify the stakeholders.
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________

Step 2: Identify the real problem.

______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________

Step 3: Give up a “must win” attitude.

______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________

Step 4: Evaluate your options and select the best solution.

______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________

26
 Step 5: Communicate in a manner certain to be received.
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________

Were you able to provide answers for each step? Show your answers to your
Instructional Manager for some feedback. You may also look at some sample answers
in the Answer Key on page 33.

Let’s Remember

♦ The steps in resolving conflicts are:

1. Identify the stakeholders.
2. Identify the real problem.
3. Give up a “must win” attitude.
4. Evaluate your options and select the best solution.
5. Communicate in a manner certain to be received.
Well, this is the end of the module! Congratulations for finishing it. Did you like
it? Did you learn anything useful from it? A summary of its main points is given on the
next page to help you remember them better.

27
 Let’s Sum Up

This module tells us that:

♦ A conflict is something perceived as unpleasant and which causes one anger,
upset, guilt or pain and/or something one does, thinks or says which causes
him/her to be upset.
♦ Conflicts can be benificial because they make people aware of their
problems, improve people’s relationships and develop one’s personality.
♦ The different types of conflict are:
• inner conflict;
• person to person conflict;
• intragroup conflict; and
• person versus group conflict.
♦ When reacting to conflicts, people can be any of the following:
• fighters;
• perfectionists;
• pacifiers;
• stay neutral; or
• realists.
♦ The steps in resolving conflicts are:
1. Identify the stakeholders.
2. Identify the real problem.
3. Give up a “must win” attitude.
4. Evaluate your options and select the best solution.
5. Communicate in a manner certain to be received.

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 What Have You Learned?

Read the problem below and following the steps in resolving conflicts, write what
you will do in each step.
Bernard and Julia have been married for three years. One night, after dinner . . .

Julia: Bernard, I want to work.

Bernard: Who’s going to take care of the children?
Julia: Can’t we get a maid?
Bernard: We cannot afford it, Julia. You know that!
Julia: Why won’t you listen to me? You always shut me out. Bernard,
I’m bored here.
Bernard: Julia, by staying here, you will be able to help me. I’m the head
of the family. This conversation is going nowhere.
Julia: You’re not listening to me. I said I’m bored staying at home,
cleaning the house, doing the laundry and looking after the
children. I’ll start finding work tomorrow.
Bernard: (in an angry voice) You will not work!

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Step 1: Identify the stakeholders.
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________

Step 2: Identify the real problem.

__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________

Step 3: Give up a “must win” attitude.

__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________

Step 4: Evaluate your options and select the best solution.

__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________

Step 5: Communicate in a manner certain to be received.

__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________

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 What benefits will the couple get from their conflict?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

What type of conflict does the couple have?

______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

Were you able to provide answers for each step? Show your answers to your
Instructional Manager for some feedback. You may also look at some sample answers
in the Answer Key on pages 33 and 34.

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 Answer Key

A. Let’s See What You Already Know (pages 2–3)

1. T
2. T
3. F—Having a confrontation and differences in opinion is normal in
conflicts. Those involved should be neutral. But they can also take sides
as long as they are open to what others have to say.
4. T
5. T
6. F—Conflicts are not meant to be won, they should be resolved. Those
involved in a conflict should learn to compromise.
7. T
8. T

B. Lesson 1
Let’s See What You Have Learned (pages 11–13)
1. The conflict that Linda was just into made her more aware of herself. It
also challenged her to deal with the complexities of her relationships
with others better.
2. Aya is experiencing inner conflict. She is torn between two priorities—
her studies or her brother.
3. Councilor Ubana is a fighter. His statement reflects anger and
bossiness.
Councilor Perfecto is a perfectionist. By saying that there is no
valid reason not to continue with the Santacruzan, he already closed his
mind to others’ opinions. He established that he only believes in what
he thinks.
Councilor Pacifico is a pacifier. Just because he does not want to
argue with anyone, he is willing to agree with whatever is raised.
Councilor Nagales is staying neutral. His statement reflects very
minimal participation in resolving the conflict.
Councilor Realidad is a realist. He stands by his opinion. But at the
same time, he is ready to listen to the opinions of others.

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C. Lesson 2
Let’s See What You Have Learned (pages 25–27)
Step 1: Martha and Pedring
Step 2: They do not have the same goal. Pedring is thinking about the
family’s finances. Martha, on the other hand, is thinking about her
studies and a future career.
Step 3: Pedring should try to see how much Martha wants to study. On the
other hand, Martha should also try to understand where Pedring is
coming from. Being the head of the family, Pedring is thinking that
the family may have economic difficulties if Martha resigns from
her job. Martha, on the other hand, is thinking about improving
herself and pursuing a better career in the future. Both of them
should take these things into consideration.
Step 4: Martha and Pedring have these choices:
q Martha can put off her studies for another year.
q Martha can pursue her studies and find a part-time job.
q Martha can study and Pedring can find sources of additional
income.
Step 5: Pedring should not talk to Martha angrily. On the other hand,
Martha should not be too pushy and emotional.

D. What Have You Learned? (pages 29–31)

Step 1: Julia and Bernard
Step 2: Julia and Bernard have priority differences. Bernard wants a family
wherein Julia will just take care of the children. He wants the
children to be well taken care of. On the other hand, Julia wants to
be able to work not only for her personal fulfillment but to help the
family financially as well.
Step 3: Bernard should try to see how much Julia wants to work. On the
other hand, Julia should consider Bernard’s point in wanting her to
take care of the children.
Step 4: Julia and Bernard can hire a maid to take care of the children. With
Julia working, they can afford to pay a maid.
Julia can work part-time to make sure that the children are
well taken care of.

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 Step 5: Bernard should try to listen to Julia and Julia should likewise try to
listen to Bernard.
The couple can improve their relationship through this
conflict. The conflict can likewise make them more aware of their
problem.
The couple’s conflict is a case of person to person conflict.

References

Filley, Alan. Interpersonal Conflict Resolution. Ontario, Canada: Scott,

Foresman and Company, 1975.
Kindler, Herbert. Managing Disagreement Constructively. U.S.A.: Crisp
Publications, Inc., 1996.
Lickson, Charles. Ironing It Out. U.S.A.: Crisp Publications, Inc., 1992.
Tjosvold, Dean. Learning to Manage Conflicts. New York: Macmillan, 1993.
Weisinger, Hendrie. Anger at Work. New York: William Morrow and Company,
Inc., 1995.

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