Step 4: Write Clear, Error-Free Sentences

If you use correct spelling and follow the rules of grammar, punctuation, and
usage, your sentences will be clear and well written. But by no means must
you have all that information in your head. Even the best writers need to use
reference materials to be sure their writing is correct. So when you write your
papers, keep a good dictionary and grammar handbook nearby.
In general, however, save them for after you’ve gotten your ideas
firmly down in writing. You’ll find as you write paragraphs that you will
make a number of sentence errors. Simply ignore them until you get to a
later draft of your paper, when there will be time enough to make the
needed corrections. Part 3 of this text focuses on sentence skills.

Four Bases for Revising Writing

In this chapter, you’ve learned four essential steps in writing an effective
paragraph. The following box shows how these steps lead to four stan-
dards, or bases, you can use in evaluating and revising paragraphs.

FourSteps Four Bases

1. If you make one point and your writing will have unity.
stick to that point,
2. If you back up the point with yourwritingwillhavesupport.
specific evidence,
3. If you organize and connect your writing will have coherence.
the specific evidence,
4. If you write clear, error-free your writing will demonstrate
sentences, effective sentence skills.
 CHAPTER1 Four Steps for Writing, Four Bases for Revising

Base 1: Unity
Understanding Unity
To achieve unity is to have all the details in your paper related to the single
point expressed in the topic sentence, the first sentence. Each time you
think of something to put in, ask yourself whether it relates to your main
point. If if does not, leave it out. For example, if you were writing about a
certain job as the worst job you ever had and then spent a couple of sen-
tences talking about the interesting people you met there, you would be
missing the first and most essential base of good writing.

TIP Tocheck a paragraph for unity, ask yourself these questions:

1. Is there a clear, single point in the first sentence of the paragraph?
2. Is all the evidence on target in support of the opening point?

Evaluating a Paragraph for Unity

ACTIVITY 20 Omitting Off-TargetSentences

The following paragraph contains two sentences that are off target—
sentences that do not support the opening point—and so the paragraph is not
unified. In the interest of paragraph unity, such sentences must be omitted.
Cross out the off-target sentences and write the numbers of those sen-
tences in the spaces provided.

How to Prevent Plagiarism

1Instructors should take steps to prevent students from cheating on
exams. 2Tobegin with, instructors should stop reusing old tests. 3A test
that has been used even once is soon known on the student grapevine.
4Students will check with their friends to find out, for example, what
wasonDr.Patel’sbiologyfinallastterm. 5Theymayevenmanageto
find a copy of the test itself, “accidentally” not turned in by a former
studentofDr.Patel’s. 6Instructorsshouldalsotakesomecommonsense
precautions at test time. 7They should make students separate
themselves—atleastbyoneseat—duringanexam. 8Theyshould also
ban cell phones during an exam. 9If a student is found using a cell phone,
that instructor should take it away. 10Last of all, instructors must make it
cleartostudentsthattherewillbestiffpenaltiesforcheating. 11Oneof
the problems with our school systems is a lack of discipline. 12Instructors
neverusedtogiveintostudents’demandsorputupwithbadbehavior,
as they do today. 13Anyone caughtcheating should immediately receive
a zero for the exam. 14A person even suspected of cheating should be
forcedtotakeanalternativeexamintheinstructor’soffice. 15Because
cheating is unfair to honest students, it should not be tolerated.

The numbers of the off-target sentences:

Base 2: Support
Understanding Support
The second base of effective writing, support, provides specific examples
that illustrate the main point of a paragraph. Readers want to see and
judge for ourselves whether a writer is making a valid point about a
subject, but without specific details we cannot do so. After realizing the
importance of specific supporting details, one student writer revised a
paper she had done on a restaurant job as the worst job she ever had. In
the revised paper, instead of talking about “unsanitary conditions in the
kitchen,” she referred to such specifics as “green mold on the bacon” and
“ants in the potato salad.” All your paragraphs should include many
vivid details! Using ample support will help you communicate more
clearly and effectively in your writing.

TIP Tocheck a paragraph for support, ask yourself these questions:

1. Istherespecific evidencetosupport the opening point?
2. Is there enough specific evidence?

Evaluating Paragraphs for Support

Checking for Specific Details ACTIVITY 21

The paragraph that follows lacks sufficient supporting details. Identify the
spot or spots where more specific details are needed.

Culture Conflict
1I am in a constant tug-of-war with my parents over conflicts
between their Vietnamese culture and American culture. 2To begin
with, my parents do not like me to have American friends. 3They think
that I should spend all my time with other Vietnamese people and
speakEnglish onlywhen necessary. 4I getinto an argumentwhenever
I want to go to a fast-food restaurant or a movie at night with my
American friends. 5The conflict with my parents is even worse when
it comes to plans for a career. 6My parents want me to get a degree
in science and then go on to medical school. 7On the other hand,
I think I want to become a teacher. 8So far I havebeen taking both
scienceandeducationcourses,but soonIwillhavetoconcentrate
on one or the other. 9The other night my father made his attitude
about what I should do very clear. 10The most difficult aspect of our
cultural differences is the way our family is structured. 11My father is
the center of our family, and he expects that I will always listen to
him. 12Although I am twenty-one years old, I still have a nightly curfew
atanhour which I considerinsulting. 13Also, Iam expected tohelp

continued
 CHAPTER1 Four Steps for Writing, Four Bases for Revising

my mother perform certain household chores that I’ve really come to

hate. 14My father expects me to live at home until I am married
to a Vietnamese man. 15When thathappens, he assumes I will obey
myhusbandjustasIobeyhim. 16Idonotwanttobeabaddaughter,
but I want to live like my American female friends.

Fill in the blanks: The first spot where supporting details are needed occurs
after sentence number . The second spot occurs after sentence
number . The third spot occurs after sentence number .

Base 3: Coherence
Understanding Coherence
Once you have determined that a paragraph is unified and supported,
check to see if the writer has a clear and consistent way of organizing the
material.
The third base of effective writing is coherence. The supporting ideas and
sentences in a composition must be organized in a consistent way so that
they cohere, or “stick together.” Key techniques for tying material together
are choosing a clear method of organization (such as time order or emphatic
order) and using transitions and other connecting words as signposts.

TIP Tocheck a paragraph for coherence, ask yourself these questions:

1. Does the paragraph have a clear method of organization?
2. Are transitions and other connecting words used to tie the material
together?

Evaluating Paragraphs for Coherence

ACTIVITY 22 Looking for Organization and Coherence

Answer the questions about coherence that follow the paragraph below.

Why I Bought a Handgun

1I bought a handgun to keep in my house for several reasons.
2Most important, I have had a frightening experience with an obscene
phone caller. 3For several weeks, a man has called me once or twice a
day, sometimes as late as three in the morning. 4As soon as I pick up
the phone, he whispers somethingobscene or threatens me bysaying,
“I’ll get you.” 5I decided to buy a gun because crime is increasing in
my neighborhood. 6One neighbor’s house was burglarized while she
wasatwork; the thievesnot only stole herappliances but alsothrew

continued
 paintaroundherliving roomandslashedherfurniture. 7Not long
afterthisincident,anelderlywomanfromtheapartmenthouseon
thecornerwasmuggedonherwaytothesupermarket. 8Theman
grabbedherpurseandthrewhertotheground,breakingherhip.
9Buying a gun was my response to listening to the nightly news.
10It seemed that every news story involved violence of some kind—
rapes,murders,muggings,androbberies. 11Iwonderedifsomeofthe
victims in the stories would still be alive if they had been able to
frighten the criminal off with a gun. 12As time passed, I became more
convinced that I should keep a gun in the house.

a. The paragraph should use emphatic order. Write 1 before the reason that
seems slightly less important than the other two, 2 before the second-
most-important reason, and 3 before the most important reason.
Obscene phone caller
Crime increase in neighborhood
News stories about crime
b. Before which of the three reasons should the transitional words first of
all be added?
c. Before which of the three reasons could the transition in addition be
added?
d. Which words show emphasis in sentence 2?
e. In sentence 8, to whom does the pronoun her refer?

f. How often does the key word gun appear in the paragraph?

g. What is a synonym for burglarized in sentence 6?

Base 4: Sentence Skills

Understanding Sentence Skills
Errors in grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, mechanics, and even
formatting can detract greatly from your writing; the fourth base,
sentence skills, requires that you identify, fix, and avoid these types of
mistakes. Error-free sentences allow readers to focus on the content of a
paragraph as a whole. Poor grammar and sentence skills can be merely
distracting, or they can change the meaning of a sentence entirely; they
also lessen a writer’s credibility. For instance, a potential employer might
think, “If he can’t spell the word political, does he really have an interest
in working on my campaign?”
 CHAPTER1 Four Steps for Writing, Four Bases for Revising

Part 3 of this book focuses on a wide range of sentence skills. You

should review all the skills carefully. Doing so will ensure that you know
the most important rules of grammar, punctuation, and usage—rules
needed to write clear, error-free sentences.

Checking for Sentence Skills

Sentence skills and the other bases of effective writing are summarized in
the following chart and on the inside back cover of the book.

A Summary of the Four Bases of Effective Writing

2
Support

3
Coherence Specific evidence?
1
Plenty of it?
Unity
Clear method of Clear, single point
organization? in the first sentence
of your paragraph?
Transitions and
other connective All evidence on
devices? target in support
of opening point?
4
Sentence
Skills

• Fragments eliminated?
• Run-ons eliminated?
• Correct verb forms?
• Subject and verb agreement?
• Faulty modifiers and faulty parallelism eliminated?
• Faulty pronouns eliminated?
• Capital letters used correctly?
• Punctuation marks where needed?
ACTIVITY 24 Evaluating Paragraphs for All Four Bases: Unity, Support,
Coherence, and Sentence Skills

In this activity, you will evaluate paragraphs in terms of all four bases:
unity, support, coherence, and sentence skills. Evaluative comments fol-
low each paragraph below. Circle the letter of the statement that best
applies in each case.
1.

Looks Shouldn’t Matter, But They Do

Often, job applicants are discriminated against based on physical
appearance. First of all, some employers will not hire a man who
wearsanearringeventhough awoman whowearsearrings isnot
singled out. In addition, someone with a facial piercing on the lip,
nose, or eyebrowis often treated unfairly in the job market. Finally,
some employers will not hire a person who has a visible tattoo yet
they hire people whose tattoos are hidden.

a. The paragraph is not unified.

b. The paragraph is not adequately supported.
c. The paragraph is not well organized.
d. The paragraph does not show a command of sentence skills.
e. The paragraph is well written in terms of the four bases.

2.

Getting Better GasMileage

There is several ways to get better gas mileage from your car. First
of all, properly maintain your car. Regularly check the air pressure in
the tires owing to the fact that under-inflated tires can use up more
gas. A dirty air filter will also cause your car to consume more fuel.
Next, driving efficiently. When on the roadway, drive at no more than
sixtymilesperour.Thefasteryoudrivethemoregaswillbeguzzled
byyour car.At stop signs and traffic lights, avoidsudden starts and
stops. Lastly, lighten your car load. Clean out the trunk of your car
and avoid hauling items unnecessarily. Added weight decrease fuel
economy. Even though someone cannot control the price at the gas
pump; we can control how we use the gas in our fuel tank.

a. The paragraph is not unified.

b. The paragraph is not adequately supported.
c. The paragraph is not well organized.
d. The paragraph does not show a command of sentence skills.
e. The paragraph is well written in terms of the four bases.
 CHAPTER1 Four Steps for Writing, Four Bases for Revising

3.

Tips on Bringing Up Children

In some ways, children should be treated as mature people. Adults
shouldnot usebabytalkwithchildren.Usingrealwordswithchildren
helpsthemdeveloplanguageskillsmorequickly.Babytalkmakes
children feel patronized, frustrated, and confused, for they want to
understand and communicate with adults by learning their speech. So
animals should be called cows and dogs, not “moo-moos” and “bow-
wows.”Parentsshouldbeconsistentwhendiscipliningchildren.Ifa
parent tells a child, “You cannot have dessert unless you put away your
toys,” it is important that the parent follow through on the warning.
Bybeingconsistent,parentswillteachchildrenresponsibilityand
give them a stable center around which to grow. Children should be
allowed and encouraged to make simple decisions. At a restaurant,
children should be allowed to decide what to order. Regarding
finances,theyshouldbeabletochooseifandhowtheywanttospend
theirmoney.Parentswillthusbehelpingtheirchildrenprepareforthe
complex decisions that they will have to deal with later in life.

a. The paragraph is not unified.

b. The paragraph is not adequately supported.
c. The paragraph is not well organized.
d. The paragraph does not show a command of sentence skills.
e. The paragraph is well written in terms of the four bases.

4.

Gambling My Life Away

Iseenowthatmycompulsivegamblinghurtmyfamilylife.Firstof
all,Iarguedconstantlywithmywife.Whenwefirstmarried,shedidnot
seem to mind thatI would bet on football andbasketballgames,but
she began to mind when bookies started calling our home. In addition,
we werealwaysshort of money forbills. I am not proudto say thatmy
wifehadtogetasecondjobjusttopayfordailyexpenses,suchasgas
and groceries. Most regrettably, I ignored my children. I spent most nights
atsportsbarswatchingthegamesI hadplacedbetson.WhenI was
home,Ipreferredtoplayonlinepokerratherthanhelpmychildrenwith
their homework or play with them at the park. In hindsight, I see that
I gambled away not only my money but my family.

a. The paragraph is not unified.

b. The paragraph is not adequately supported.
c. The paragraph is not well organized.
d. The paragraph does not show a command of sentence skills.
e. The paragraph is well written in terms of the four bases.
 5.

Children Are Expensive

The cost of raising a child keeps increasing. Many families know
this fact all too well. For one thing, child care costs are getting
highereveryyear.Parentspaymoretodayforababysitterorforday
care. Teachers’ salaries, however, are not going up. For another thing,
children’s clothing costs more. A pair of children’s athletic shoes can
easily cost over fifty dollars. Budget-conscious parents should shop at
discountandoutletgarmentstores.Inaddition,foodalsocostsmore.
Providing nutritious food is more costly because of rising grocery
prices.Sadly,aHappyMealatMcDonald’sisoftencheaper,butnotas
nutritious, as a freshly prepared sandwich at home. Health care costs
are also getting higher. If a parent is fortunate to have health insurance,
that parent may find more of his or her paycheck going toward the
monthly premium. Other health-care expenses, such as prescription
and over-the-counter drugs, are getting more expensive too.

a. The paragraph is not unified.

b. The paragraph is not adequately supported.
c. The paragraph is not well organized.
d. The paragraph does not show a command of sentence skills.
e. The paragraph is well written in terms of the four bases.

WRITING Write a paragraph about a valued material possession. Here are some
suggestions:
ASSIGNMENT
Car Appliance
Computer Cell phone
TV Photo album
iPod Piece of clothing
Piece of furniture Stereo system
Piece of jewelry Piece of hobby equipment
Camera Video game console

Your topic sentence should center on the idea that there are several rea-
sons this possession is so important to you. Provide specific examples and
details to develop each reason.
 CHAPTER1 Four Steps for Writing, Four Bases for Revising

Use the following checklist as a guide while you are working on your
paragraph:

Yes No
Do you begin with a point?
Do you provide relevant, specific details
that support the point?
Do you use the words first of all, second,
and finally to introduce your three sup-
porting details?
Do you have a closing sentence?
Are your sentences clear and free of
obvious errors?