NLP Tip: The Power of Letting Go - Part One publication date: Dec 7, 2007

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author/source: Jamie Smart - www.saladltd.co.uk

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I’d like to explore something that can make a big difference in helping you to get what you want. This ‘technique’ is
equally powerful whether you’re looking to achieve a long-term goal, close a major sale or ask someone on a date.

When I first started doing project management, we’d set a goal and go for it, hell for leather, with mottos like “failure is
not an option” and “winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing”. We had to deliver, and deliver we did…but…by the time
we got to the end of those projects, people were knackered. So here’s another way to approach goals:

1) Identify something you want. This could be an actual thing, a new skill, a specific business result, a way of being, or
anything else.

Sacrilege!

A lot of people are already familiar with Step 1, having set (or been set) countless goals. Step 2 is a bit less familiar…

2) Allow yourself to become ok with the idea of not getting it.

One of the most powerful attitudes I came across was the idea of ‘detaching from outcome’ – being ok with the idea of
things not turning out the way you want them to. This is sacrilege in the eyes of the ‘Think and Grow Rich’ school, who
recommend creating a burning desire for whatever you want. But what if your goal is to have no burning desires? Having
used the burning desire approach for many years, I found that I a) got what I wanted, b) wasn’t satisfied with what I got
and c) replaced it with a burning desire for something else.

If you found Step 2 easy, fantastic! Jump straight to Step 7 (that’s in Part Two of this article). If it was more difficult, here
are a few pointers.

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Very Important Indeed

Bertrand Russell is credited with saying that a clear sign of an impending nervous breakdown is the idea that your work
is very important. If achieving the goal you set in Step 1 seems very important to you…

3) Get over it! Ask yourself “In 100 years, what difference will it make?”

Think of just how many things there have been in your past which seemed really important at the time, and you’ve
forgotten what they even were. See, the fact that you’re reading this tip means that, on an evolutionary scale, you’ve
achieved the number 1 success qualification: you’ve survived! Evolution is saying “You’re already a success just for
being you.”

In Part Two of this article I’ll show you even more tips to experience the power of letting go.

NLP Tip: Summary

Letting go of attachment to outcome can be a powerful tool in your pursuit of what you want.

1) Identify something you want. This could be an actual thing, a new skill, a specific business result, a way of being, or
anything else.

2) Allow yourself to become ok with the idea of not getting it.

3) Ask yourself “In 100 years, what difference will it make?”

• NLP Tip: What Do You Want?

• NLP Tip: Hidden Benefits
• NLP Tip - Taking the Lead
• NLP Tip: The Power of Letting Go - Part Two
• NLP Tip - Three Obstacles to Mastery - Part Three
• NLP Tip: The Ultimate Goal – Part Two
• NLP Tip: Three Obstacles to Mastery - Part One
• NLP Tip: Connecting with Rapport
• NLP Wealth Tip #15 - Use Goals to Massively Increase Your Results
• NLP Tip - Three Obstacles to Mastery - Part Two
• NLP Tip - Introduction to Pacing and Leading - Building Rapport
• NLP Audio: SCORE Model - Resourcing
• NLP Wealth Tip #23 - Expenses Expand to Meet Income, so Plan to Have a Surplus
• NLP Audio: Handshake Interrupt - Variation On A Theme - Michael Watson
• NLP Video: SCORE Model - Demo - Part Two
• NLP Video: Hypnotic Handshake Induction - Michael Watson

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• NLP Tip - Speaking Their Language - Part Two
• NLP Audio: Ambiguity - Help Myself - Peter Freeth and Jamie Smart
• NLP Audio: Definition of Coaching - Dr. L. Michael Hall
• NLP Audio: Calibration Skills - Jonathan Altfeld
• NLP Video: Meta Model - A Means B and A Causes B
• NLP Wealth Tip #41 - What the Thinker Thinks, the Prover Proves
• NLP Audio: Anxiety - Ball Exercise - Andrew Austin
• NLP Audio: Become Familiar with Success
• NLP Wealth Tip #1 - Develop an Optimistic Outlook
• NLP Audio: Things About Rapport
• NLP Video: The TOTE Model
• NLP Video: Exercise to Tear Up a Problem - Peter Freeth
• NLP Audio: Ambiguity Language Patterns
• NLP Video: Practice Open Awareness - Part Two
• NLP Video: Words Weight
• NLP Video: Overview of 7 Negotiation Steps - Simon Hazeldine
• NLP Video: Three Coaching Questions - Part Two - What Stops You?
• NLP Wealth Tip #7 - Decide to Be Happy Now
• NLP Audio: Eliciting Deep Values Demo - Part Two
• NLP Wealth Tip #47 - Eliminate All Limiting Beliefs
• NLP Wealth Tip #20 - Commit to the Long Term
• NLP Video: Some Key Points for Negotiating - Simon Hazeldine
• NLP Audio: Playing Out A Problem In The First Minute - Peter Freeth
• Happiness Tip 46 - You Deserve Great Things, So Become Willing to Receive
• NLP Video: Eliciting Values - Romance & Flirting - Jonathan Altfeld
• NLP Wealth Tip #14 - Pay Yourself First
• NLP Audio: Kinaesthetic Timing Exercise
• NLP Video: Ambiguity - Help Myself - Peter Freeth and Jamie Smart
• NLP Video: Meta States - Dr. L. Michael Hall
• NLP Audio: Instant Happiness - Part Two
• NLP Audio: The Swish Pattern with Dieting - Peter Freeth
• NLP Video: Betty Erickson Technique for Self Hypnosis
• NLP Video: Look Forward to Goals & Back for Progress
• NLP Tip - Protect Yourself
• NLP Wealth Tip #39 - Use Your Ideals to Set Direction; Use Your Past to Measure Progress
• NLP Video: Trance Induction - True, True, True, Suggestion - Peter Freeth
• NLP Wealth Tip #36 - Become Willing to Do Whatever it Takes
• NLP Tip - Wot’s Innit For Me??? - Part Two
• NLP Audio: Techniques are Crutches and Useful Tools
• NLP Wealth Tip #24 - Create a Wealth Journal
• NLP Wealth Tip #48 - Wealth Attracts Wealth
• NLP Audio: Betty Erickson Technique for Self Hypnosis
• NLP Tip - Trust Your Unconscious - Part Two
• NLP Tip: Watch Your Language - Part Two
• NLP Audio: Overview of 7 Negotiation Steps - Simon Hazeldine
• NLP Video: How Do You Know Which Words To Use?
• NLP Audio: Metaphors for Purpose
• NLP Video: Familiarity & Comfort Zones
• Happiness Tip 49 - How Much Would You Do For Someone You Really Love?
• NLP Audio: Eliciting Deep Values Demo - Part One
• NLP Audio: Managing State - Part Two - Peter Freeth
• NLP Wealth Tip #29 - Say Positive Things to Yourself
• NLP Audio: Metaphor for Start of Training Course - Peter Freeth

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 • NLP Wealth Tip #21 - Use Compound Interest to Make 'Easy Money'
• NLP Video: Negotiation - Step 3 - Shopping List - Simon Hazeldine
• NLP Audio: Deep Trance Identification
• NLP Video: Noticing Metaphoric Language - Peter Freeth
• NLP Audio: State Defined - Part One - What is a State? - Dr. L. Michael Hall
• NLP Video: Perceptual Positions - Reframing - Peter Freeth
• Happiness Tip 48 - You Were Born Perfect, Complete and Whole
• NLP Audio: Feeding Back Their Gestures
• NLP Audio: Meta Model - A Means B and A Causes B
• Happiness Tip 50 - Your Thoughts Become Your Reality
• Happiness Tip 33 - There is No Good Reason To Be Unhappy
• NLP Audio: Negotiation - Step 3 - Shopping List - Simon Hazeldine
• NLP Tip: The Secrets of Magnetic Metaphor – Part Four - Stories and State
• NLP Wealth Tip #51 - The Life You Desire is Closer Than You Think
• NLP Audio: Accessing Personal Genius - Part Two - Power Zone Demo - Dr. L. Michael Hall
• NLP Audio: Accessing Personal Genius - Part One - Power Zone - Dr. L. Michael Hall
• NLP Audio: Familiarity & Comfort Zones
• NLP Tip - Wot’s Innit For Me??? - Part One
• NLP Video: Resourceful Learning State - Peter Freeth
• NLP Video: Get SORTed for Coaching - Peter Freeth
• NLP Video: Better Relationships From The Inside Out - Demo One - You Can Have What You Want
• NLP Video: The Crucible Demo - Part One - Dr. L. Michael Hall
• NLP Video: One Question for Business Conferences - Jamie Smart and Peter Freeth
• NLP Video: Managing State - Part One - Peter Freeth
• NLP Video: Feeding Back Their Gestures
• NLP Audio: The Crucible Demo - Part Two - Dr. L. Michael Hall
• NLP Audio: Resourceful Learning State - Peter Freeth
• NLP Tip - Trust Your Unconscious - Part One
• NLP Wealth Tip #45 - Trust the Limitless Supply
• NLP Wealth Tip #49 - Money’s Like a Pet – Treat it Well
• NLP Video: Eliciting Values - Bridging Conflict - Jonathan Altfeld

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