PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT – PERSONAL - Attracted to like-minded persons

RELATIONSHIP 4. Reciprocity
- Likes people who likes us back
Personal Relationship 5. Physical attractiveness
- Type of relationship which is closely 6. Personal characteristics and traits
associated with a person and which can
only have meaning to this person 3. Different components of love theorized by
- Involves a degree of commitment to another Robert Sternberg’s triangular theory of love
person or persons Three basic components:
1. Intimacy
 Characteristics that define personal 2. Passion
relationships: 3. Commitment
o Privacy
o intimacy 4. Commitment: saying yes and meaning it
 Elements that do with personal (three variables examined in the Rozenberg
relationships are: Quarterly Article)
o Attachment 1. Accumulation of all rewards of the
o Attraction relationship
o Love 2. Temptation of alternative partners
o Intimacy 3. Investments made by the couple in
o Commitment the relationship are also important
in maintaining commitment
Three attachment styles as defined by
Ainsworth, Blehar, Waters, and Wall: 5. Four behaviors married couples may do
Secure attachments that can predict a divorce or separation from
- Secure and stable relationships Rozenberg Quarterly article
Avoidant attachments 1. Consistency finding fault with the
- Possibility of isolation, partner
unresponsive, unstable 2. Tone of criticism
Anxious-ambivalent attachments 3. Denial of the existence of conflict
- Develops separation anxieties 4. Contempt
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6. Responsibilities in a relationship
1. What drives attraction? (by Helen Fisher) 1. Be responsible of what you think
Three stages of falling in love: and say to the other person
1. Lust 2. Be responsible to what you promise
2. Attraction to do and not do
3. Attachment 3. Ensure the relationship if mutually
beneficial
2. Aside from Physiology, people are 4. Respect the other party or parties
attracted to one another because of other involved
reasons. The Rozenberg Quarterly article 5. Be ready to provide support when
mention several theories and research needed.
results related to attraction and liking. ____________________________________
1. Transference effect
- These people remind us of
someone in the past who has
affected or sense of self and
behavior
2. Propinquity effect
- Develop a sense of familiarity
with people who live close to us
3. Similarity
(https://poly.land/2019/02/17/the-8-kinds-of-love-
in-the-triangular-model-of-love/)
5. Romantic love
The 8 Kinds of Love in the Triangular  Passion and intimacy but no
Model of Love commitment. (When this kind of
love is also committed, it’s another
type — consummate love)
6. Companionate love
 Intimacy and commitment but with
no passion. Certain close friendships
(best friends, long-time friends,
etc.) fall into this category. This
category also includes long-term
relationships where passion is no
longer present, but the members
still feel bonded and connected in
other ways. The love someone feels
for family members that they’re
1. Non-Love
close to also falls into this category.
 Neither intimacy, passion, or
7. Fatuous love
commitment are present. No
 Passion and commitment
connection. Indifference.
but no intimacy. Typically
2. Liking/friendship
this looks like a brief
 Intimacy without passion or
passionate period of New
commitment. Most friendships and
Relationship Energy
friendly acquaintances typically fall
followed by a serious
into this category.
commitment (marriage,
3. Infatuated love
moving in together, etc.)
 Passion without intimacy or
before the people involved
commitment. Sometimes referred
have a chance to really get
to as “puppy love” or a crush.
to know one another and
Romantic relationships
bond on a non-passionate
often start out this way and turn
level.
into romantic love over time.
8. Consummate love
However, this evolution doesn’t
 Love that includes all three
always happen and this type of love
elements: Intimacy, passion, and
is also known to sometimes
commitment. This is the idealized
spontaneously end and disappear,
romantic love that is shown to us in
leaving nothing else in its place.
books and movies. What we’re
4. Empty love
inculcated from a young age to
 Commitment without passion or
consider #RelationshipGoals. In his
intimacy. This can happen in
research, Sternberg found that
instances when someone is
while this state of love does occur
desperate for a long-term
in some relationships, it rarely is
commitment for other reasons
sustained permanently and is
(marriage, children, financial
instead a state that comes and goes
stability, etc.) but doesn’t actually
even in an ideal relationship,
connect with their partner and
replaced with other forms of love at
forces it. It also can be an evolution
times when one or more pieces of
in a relationship over time that
the triangle temporarily disappear.
starts out with passion, intimacy, or
both but loses those elements.